Catastrophic Thinking can be a huge battle when you are healing from toxic emotional narcissistic abuse. This battle can be much more difficult when you are struggling with external forces such as heath, finances, legal issues and many other stressors. In this podcast Duane discusses some techniques he has used to help him battle catastrophic thinking.

Links to find out more! * YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/dadsurvivingdivorce * Website - http://www.dadsurvivingdivorce.com * Referenced Video - Proving to yourself they are a narcissist * Referenced Playlist - Mindset for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery * email - duane@dadsurvivingdivorce.com

Table of Contents Recovering from a tough week 00:32 - Duane reflects on the past week and how when you are worn down and not feeling well it can negatively effect your mental health. This was the case for Duane when he threw his back out on his trip to visit Debby for the long weekend. When you are caught in these “bad times” it can, even if a lot of positive things are going on, you can feel like everything is bad.

Getting into that catastrophic mindset 04:10 - It is really easy to get into that catastrophic mindset when things feel like they are not going well. You will focus on the negative and ignore or downplaying anything that is positive in your life. Duane was really struggling thinking that he was wasting his time on all of these projects. In the video I made around the time of this podcast called “Proving to yourself they are a narcissist” the fundamental truth is the answers really are simple. It is so easy to allow ourselves to be corrupted by what is going on in your life.

Typically something else is going on 07:35 - Typically some external factor is going on that is causing the catastrophic thinking. Duane has had conversations with people in the past and with a few simple question it because obvious that something else is going on. A lot of the time it’s a lack of sleep from overwork, or money problems, or they are sick. But when you see someone take a backslide in their recovery generally there is something that is wearing them down. The key point a person needs to remember is that this moment in time is not going to be your forever.

Feeling better then things get back on track 11:28 - Duane’s experience has been that when things get back on track, when you get some rest, that catastrophic thinking starts to stop. This is much more complicated in the beginning stages when you are in this constant state of despair. Even through this you start to learn new skills and your perspective will start to change.

How do things get better? 12:29 - Duane’s biggest question was how are things going to get better? The huge hurdle for most people going through this is the “how”. People can say to you, “Things will get better with time” but without the HOW it is really hard to believe. The first phase of the “how” for Duane was learning about toxic behaviors and the “why” for why they do the things that they do. When you realize their “why” is for manipulation and control.

How does this help during bad times? 15:34 - The question is how does this knowledge help during the bad times we will go through? The first part is being able to recognize what is going on. This means being able to see that you are having a “bad episode” so you can stop the catastrophic thinking. This provides you the opportunity “slowly” refrain your thinking and to put the current situation in perspective.

Six years ago things looked catastrophic 18:26 - Duane reflects back on six years ago when this started and everything just looked catastrophic. It is hard for him to believe that he has arrived at this point in his life and that catastrophic view of life didn’t materialize. However, Duane does reflex on the reality that had he stayed angry and bitter this would have corrupted every aspect of his life. You come to a point where you have to let go of your past life and embrace the new life going forward. That is the key to enabling your healing and helping you to change your perspective.

When you start to let go 21:21 - When you start to let go of the pain and bitterness associated with your ex and the way your life used to be you can really start to heal. For Duane he just got so tired of having the ex in his head and unable to think about a life without the hurt. Once he started to “let go” everything started to get better and the hold the toxic person had over him started to fall away.

This isn’t easy 23:54 - Going through this isn’t easy - it is really difficult and it is a tremendous struggle to break free from this attachment. It takes a lot of work to retrain your mind and brain to think differently. This is why I have the playlist “Mindset for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery” to help build that foundation to get you heading in the right direction.

Gratitude journals are very important 28:55 - Having a way to remind yourself of what is good in your life is extremely helpful. That is why a gratitude journals are so very important to help you when going through this. It is so easy to focus on the negative and the bad where all of the good in your life is just overshadowed.

This has transformed my life 30:16 - Duane reflects back on how all of this has transformed his life. His hope is that his experience can provide some hope and a glimmer of possibility for you to have a similar transformation in your life.