In this episode, we discuss strategies to teach your teen about conflict. This is an important life skill that will help your daughter be successful in all aspects of life.
- Conflict is a necessary part of life.
- There are many ways we deal with conflict poorly, which often end with negative consequences.
- Conflict CAN be positive and improve relationships.
- Come Prepared.
- Don't make it personal.
- Tell the story from the other person's perspective.
- Decide if you're willing to negotiate.
- Answer 3 questions:
- What do I want for myself?
- What do I want for others?
- What do I want for this relationship?
- Follow the Steps
- Schedule ahead of time.
- Establish respectful language.
- Concisely retell the story.
- Stay in the present.
- Let them talk.
- Restate the problem with both points of view.
- Admit your part and apologize.
- Negotiate
- If necessary, reevaluate the relationship.
RESOURCES:
- Instagram account @lms.consultant, Dr. Steve Bonner, Conflict Mediator and Facilitator
- Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High, Patterson, Kerry
https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2D1OZCZ0TEXU2&dchild=1&keywords=crucial+conversations&qid=1596947256&sprefix=crucial+conv%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-1- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM
- Cultures of Dignity: Putting Feelings to Words- A Conflict Management Strategy. https://culturesofdignity.com/putting-feelings-to-words-a-conflict-management-strategy/
- NY Times: How to Help Tweens and Teens Manage Social Conflict https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/16/well/family/how-to-help-tweens-and-teens-manage-social-conflict.html
- PBS.org: 5 Strategies to Help Kids Resolve Conflict https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/5-strategies-to-help-kids-resolve-conflict
- Mom Junction: Important Conflict Resolution Skills for Teenagers https://www.momjunction.com/articles/important-conflict-resolution-skills-for-teenagers_00106119/
- Raising Children.au: Conflict Management with Teens https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/communicating-relationships/communicating/conflict-management-with-teens