Cindy: (00:00)
This is Exploring the Seasons of Life podcast episode # 12. I’m Cindy MacMillan and today’s guest is Lori Burke.

Cindy: (00:08)
Welcome to Exploring the Seasons of Life, a podcast for women over 40 who are trying to be everything to everyone and forgetting themselves in the process. Each week, join Cindy MacMillan as she interviews coaches, spiritual explorers and celebrants from all walks of life about beginnings, endings and the messy bits in-between. Self-love, well-being, and mindset are at the heart of our conversations because once you change the inside, the outside will begin to change as well.

Cindy: (00:16)
Welcome back to Exploring the Seasons of Life podcast. Thank you for being with us today and I am so delighted to share my conversation with Lori Burke with you. Lori Burke is a certified Clinical and Transpersonal Hypnotherapist. She offers a variety of advanced hypnotherapy protocols and services to help her clients with overcoming fears, anger, and resentment; breaking undesirable habits and developing new, healthier ones; resolving self-limiting beliefs; programming for professional success; getting to the root cause of anxiousness; stress management; raising self-esteem and self-confidence; spiritual exploration, and more. .

Cindy: (00:39)
Lori, welcome to Exploring the Seasons of Life podcast. I'm so excited to have you.

Lori: (01:31)
Oh, well thank you so much. I'm happy to be here.

Cindy: (01:34)
I'm really interested in hypnotherapy. So before we start, can you go ahead and just tell us what does exploring the seasons of life mean to you personally or in your business?

Lori: (01:47)
Well, the seasons of life to me are the phases that we go through that highlight those times of change in our lives, times that make an impact on who we are. And I think we hit those pivotal points in life, those points where we start another season and head down another path and we maybe move towards a new way of thinking or of being. And I think every season has its opportunities and lessons. And depending on how we handle those lessons, we can either look at them as opportunities to grow or we can struggle with them.

Cindy: (02:26)
Thank you. And you're so right about those seasons of life being those opportunities to grow if we just change our mindset around those. So I'm really fascinated by your story. Can you walk us through how you went from being a software engineer to a clinical hypnotherapist?

Lori: (02:46)
Yes. I actually get a lot of shocked looks from people when I tell them that I was a software engineer before becoming a hypnotherapist. It all really began about 10 years ago; I was a software engineer at the Kennedy Space Center and my life was pretty much running on autopilot at that point. Everyday kind of looked like the day before and one day my husband and I decided that we wanted to try yoga. So here we were, a couple of left-brain people, neither of us had ever stepped foot in a yoga studio before and neither of us was really sure what yoga was. And we had seen pictures of people in all these bendy positions and decided that we needed something maybe a little more on the beginner level and preferably something private. So we contacted a local yoga teacher, took some private yoga lessons, and she would talk about things that we had never heard of before.

Lori: (03:52)
And it was then that we had realized that there was this whole other side to life that we hadn't been aware of. I was pretty left-brain and I love the science behind a lot of the mind, body, spirit, metaphysical stuff. And I found Dr. Joe Dispenza's work and Dr. Bruce Lipton's work absolutely fascinating. And if you're into any of Dr. Joe's work or any of Bruce Lipton's work, you know that they talk a lot about reprogramming the mind. And I love that description, reprogramming the mind and they provide a lot of scientific background on it and their books and workshops. So I just ate that stuff up. I mean, I absolutely loved it. Well, roundabout 2012, I went through some of my own personal turmoil; some of those messy bits you talk about. And I ended up seeing a therapist and then I saw another one and then another one.

Lori: (04:51)
And I just couldn't quite get to the point of feeling better by talking about my issues over and over. And I knew there had to be something deeper going on, but I just, I didn't know what. So someone had suggested to me that I try EFT, which is Emotional Freedom Technique, and some people also refer to that as Tapping. And they gave me the name of a wonderful practitioner in Pennsylvania. So I worked with this practitioner for a while and we did some really good work and I learned a lot about being able to clear out old emotions about healing, old emotional wounds. After that experience, I became so open to all these alternative modalities out there. Well, one day, totally by accident, I landed on a website about either hypnosis or hypnotherapy. And it really caught my attention because it was right in line with that whole reprogramming of the mind that Dr. Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton talk about.

Lori: (05:58)
So from there I decided to enroll in a hypnotherapy program and learn more about it. Not really from the intent of changing careers. I was just really interested in it. Well, I got about halfway through the program and I realized at that point just how powerful this work can be. So at the end of the program I found myself at a major crossroads in my life. I was working at the Kennedy Space Center, which is arguably one of the most exciting places to work and I worked with a really talented team of software people. They were just really good people and I got paid really well to do what I did and yet I was beginning to feel at that point like I had a deeper purpose. Like there was something else that I needed to be doing and when I put together my life experiences, the things that I've been through in life together with my hypnotherapy training and then the training from Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton's work, I knew that I had a lot to offer people and I also knew that if I didn't pursue this, it would be like having a tool that can help people, but like I was withholding it because I was afraid to leave my own comfortable situation.

Lori: (07:20)
I also felt somewhat of an obligation to pay it forward because others had helped me through my rough times and now I felt like it was my turn to do the same to pay it forward. So I was at that point of making a huge step. Now I have to tell you, I was in my mid fifties at the time and you know, some felt that it was just a little too late in life to be making such a drastic change. True to my adventurous nature. I did it anyway and I've really never looked back. It's just been incredibly fulfilling to be able to participate in life transformations of my clients and I just, I just feel so honored that they allow me into their personal lives and into their pasts to do this work. It's just really fulfilling.

Speaker 1: (08:11)
Lori, what I like about that story so much is one you making that leap in your fifties but two you saying that you, are very left-brained and yet you were open to all these different possibilities.

Lori: (08:28)
Absolutely. I mean, I still love the science of just about everything, but I think that yoga experience really showed me that there is another side to life. And in some things, I feel like science hasn't quite caught up to it. But it doesn't mean it's not there. It's, it's just one of those things that you need to, you know, take a leap of faith and have some belief.

Cindy: (08:53)
Yeah. I love that. Can you tell us exactly what a hypnotherapist is and why that works?

Lori: (09:01)
Sure, sure. Um, it's probably helpful, to begin with, a good definition of what hypnosis is. A lot of times clients come in for their first session and even at that point, they're just not quite sure what hypnosis is or what hypnotherapy is. And they usually associate it with what they've seen on TV or what they've seen in the movies or on a YouTube video. And that's not what I do. So what's hypnosis? Well, hypnosis is a naturally occurring altered state and we all go in and out of a hypnotic state on a daily basis when we wake up in the morning and when we fall asleep at night. It's that sweet spot between being fully awake and being asleep. It's, it's like being in the zone, so to speak. And it's that state where if you're doing something creative that takes all of your focus, like painting or sculpting or knitting, something like that, you may be so hyper-focused that you don't even notice if someone walks into the room and starts talking to you.

Lori: (10:10)
So that's an example of a hypnotic state. If you're driving up the highway and you kind of zone out and then you realize that you missed your exit five miles back, that's a form of hypnosis. And when you're in that state, your subconscious mind becomes open and accessible, which is where the reprogramming occurs. And that brings us to hypnotherapy. Now, hypnotherapy uses the hypnotic state, that state of the opening up of the subconscious mind to apply tools and techniques to communicate directly with the subconscious mind. Where that reprogramming takes place. So in my practice, I generally use a light to medium state unless a deeper state is required to apply these tools and techniques. Now, while someone is in hypnosis, they're fully aware and they're fully in control and they would never do or say anything that they would not normally do or say or anything that goes against their moral code.

Lori: (11:14)
I know a lot of people have questions or concerns about that in the beginning. The only time that they're not fully aware is if they become so relaxed that they do fall asleep and that does happen occasionally. And when that does happen, I have to kind of nudge them and bring them back to a lighter state so we can continue with our work. But the client does hear everything that's said. And the reason that hypnotherapy works so well is that it can uncover and access the root cause of most issues. That being the memories, the emotions, and beliefs that reside the subconscious mind. See normally during a conversation, the conscious mind is on full alert and it doesn't allow access to the subconscious mind, at least not from a reprogramming standpoint. It's like having a read only file on a computer and there's a little guard at the gate of the subconscious mind that prevents that. But in hypnosis, the conscious mind and that little guard at the gate are relaxed and that allows me access to the subconscious mind and that allows the reprogramming to take place, which is why it works. So well.

Cindy: (12:30)
Lori when you're working with someone and you ask them a question is it because they're so relaxed, they're able to answer and answers are able to come forth easily. Is that it?

Lori: (12:45)
Yeah, and sometimes when you relax the conscious mind, the analytical mind, the stuff starts to come up from the subconscious mind a little more readily. I know I've worked with several clients who initially they don't even remember a memory that's causing their problem. But as we start to work through it and all this stuff starts to come up and then they're able to make that connection, I usually tell them when we start working together, it's like having a champagne glass where the bubbles initially stick to the side of the glass. But as we go in there and we start to stir things, some of those bubbles are going to start to come up. And those are things that come up out of the subconscious mind as we do our work.

Cindy: (13:30)
I liked the way you described that those bubbles come up. Yeah. So how often do you hear, I don't know who I am?

Lori: (13:41)
Actually. I hear that a lot from women who have been in the role of a mom or wife or daughter, and suddenly that role in the way that they knew it goes away. Um, children become more independent or they leave home to start their own lives. So my client's role as a wife may go away due to divorce or death. So you know, you can have the empty nesters that create a void. You can have a divorce or death and that creates a void and suddenly they're standing there in a bit of an identity crisis. Really. And I've also seen this happen with women who have had the same career for many years. Suddenly their job goes away or they decide that they're going to retire and it creates a void because they confused who they were with what they did. You know, somebody may say, um, you know, who are you? And they'll say, Oh, I'm a software engineer. Well, a software engineer isn't who you are. It's what you do. And if you ask people who are you, many times people will have a response that includes a job title and or role. So when they get to these points in their lives, they may feel stuck. They don't know how to move forward. A role that they've fulfilled for many years is no longer there. And they come in and they say, I, I just don't know what the problem is. I just don't know who I am.

Cindy: (15:11)
Yeah, I absolutely understand where they're coming from when they say that because I've been there myself going, well, who am I? You know? Yeah, but you're right. Most times when you talk to people it is their roles that come up. Absolutely. How do you work through that with them; through hypnotherapy?

Lori: (15:37)
Yeah. A lot of times they'll come into midlife and they'll have a lot of emotional baggage and if they've been distracting themselves with fulfilling a role, they may not even know that that baggage is there. Although I've had quite a few women come in and they have things like chronic fatigue syndrome, which means they're tired all the time. But with no real cause and emotional baggage can be pretty heavy. So one of the major things that we do is to help them to unload that emotional baggage and to go back and take a look at things like their self-limiting beliefs and figure out where that came from so that we're able to get in there and resolve it. And then we go ahead and we, you know, build up their self-esteem and their self-confidence. And get some goals in place. So they unload what they had from their, you know, from their past, from their childhood. We get them on stable ground, we turn around those self-limiting beliefs and, and we offer them some new beliefs. And when you have healthier beliefs in place, that causes some pretty healthy and uplifting emotions to go with that. And somebody who feels good and believes good things about themselves can move forward with confidence.

Cindy: (17:03)
Well thank you, for explaining that to us. What are some obstacles that you help women with in your practice? I know we talked a little bit about self-limiting beliefs. What are some other things that you help women with?

Lori: (17:19)
Yeah. Most of the common issues they come in with are anxiety, depression, insomnia and weight issues. They're feeling stuck. They're feeling like they're unable to move forward in their lives. And the overwhelming majority of those issues began long before they showed up in my office. In fact, most of them are the result of those emotional wounds that we just talked about from childhood. And when I explain this to clients for the first time, I usually get the, Oh, you know, it can't be that I've only had this issue for the past five or 10 years, but a lot of times it's hard to identify the root cause of a problem just by looking at it from the surface or from the conscious and analytical viewpoint. So many times the client just can't believe that their issue is coming from something that occurred in childhood.

Lori: (18:13)
But as we start to clear things out and we start to get some of these things resolved, they see and feel the difference and they're able to start making that connection. So it's, it's really a learning and self discovery process, as far as those feeling stuck or not being able to move forward, that has a lot to do with fear in one form or another. And for the most part, we tend to live our lives in our comfort zone. And this is the zone where life is pretty predictable and the likelihood of any surprises is pretty minimal. And as long as we live every day, like the day before, we feel relatively safe. But unfortunately it can also result in that feeling of stuckness. You know, maybe my client wants to write a book or start a business or change careers or get out of or into a significant relationship but just can't seem to move past the fear of, of doing that. So with hypnotherapy we uncover and resolve the root cause of that fear. You know, sometimes it's low self-esteem or low self-confidence that we need to look at or maybe there's something in her early childhood that led her to form beliefs about herself or about her circumstances. And then we get back into those self-limiting beliefs and resolve them. And once those limiting beliefs are etched into the subconscious mind, they pretty much stay there until they're reprogrammed or transformed.

Cindy: (19:52)
It almost sounds like you are helping your clients connect the dots.

Speaker 3: (19:56)
That's exactly it and it's really about learning and a self-discovery process. Yeah.

Cindy: (20:03)
In the last three to five years. Speaking of beliefs in the last three to five years, what new belief, behavior or habit has most changed your life?

Lori: (20:17)
I think the number one thing, the number one thing that really changed the course of my life was realizing that you are never too old to change course. And I tell my clients, if you're still breathing, it's not too late. It can take, you know, some preparation or some extra training or some extra planning of some sort to make these huge changes in your life depending on what it is, but it's not impossible. I had done some research on people who either switched careers or had become famous or successful even after they were 50 years old. And what I found was really, it was interesting that it was really encouraging too, the first person that always comes to mind is Louise Hay and she did, she didn't publish her first book until she was 50 years old and in fact, she didn't start Hay House Publishing until she was in her sixties so that was really encouraging. You know, we don't have to work and work and work and then hit that retirement age and then, you know, it, everything goes on autopilot from there. I mean, we can continue our lives, you know, the excitement goes on. It's not too late.

Cindy: (21:39)
I consider myself a lifelong learner. And so I feel like when you stop learning, it's almost like you stop living or you become on autopilot as you're saying.

Lori: (21:51)
You certainly stop growing. You know? And sometimes the fear keeps us from putting ourselves into potential situations where, you know, what if this happens, what if that happens? And you know, the thoughts about it can be worse than actually going through it. So allow yourself to grow. You know, you, you may make some mistakes along the way. That's okay. We're all human. But without those mistakes, you don't have the learning and the growing and, you know, I think we should keep life exciting. Yeah.

Cindy: (22:24)
What you just said, allow yourself to grow. I love that. So Lori, if you could turn back time and talk to your 18-year-old self, what would you tell her about the season of life that you're in right now?

Lori: (22:40)
I would tell her she's got a lot of seasons to get through until she reaches the one I'm in now. So I guess I would, first of all, I would encourage her to always follow her heart, to stay adventurous and to enjoy and appreciate the seasons along the way. Even those challenges, those, what you refer to as messy bits, especially those messy bits actually, because that's where the greatest lessons are learned and that's where the most growth occurs. Um, so it's, it's hard to see that sometimes when you're young, but yeah, of course, I would tell her all of this and then she would roll her eyes and smile because being in the season she was in at 18. It's hard to imagine being in the season I'm in, in my late fifties.

Cindy: (23:31)
Right. So is there anything that I should have asked you, but I just didn't know to ask you anything that you want to tell us?

Lori: (23:40)
No, no, you're pretty thorough. Pretty thorough.

Cindy: (23:44)
Well, I really appreciate you being on the podcast. That means a lot to me. So how can people follow you on your journey and support you?

Lori: (23:52)
They can check out my website, LoriBurkeHypnosis.com and I'm also on Facebook. I'm on two places, Lori.BurkeCHT or LoriBurkeHypnosis, and I've begun to post some just some very short clips on subjects that are associated with hypnotherapy or hypnosis in some way or associated with the work that I do. I occasionally have workshops and I'm hoping to do some webinars in the future, you know, and I would certainly post those on my website as well.

Cindy: (24:30)
All right, well thank you very much. I appreciate you being here.

Lori: (24:34)
Thank you so much, Cindy. It was such a pleasure.

Cindy: (24:37)
Thank you.

Speaker 2: (24:38)
Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Exploring the Seasons of Life. I enjoyed my conversation with Lori Burke and I especially liked it when she said, " It creates a void, because they confused, who they were with what they did.” .

(24:54)
How many times have we confused who we are with what we do? I listen to the Karen Kinney Show and get her newsletter. She said, “peacocks are the perfect representation of embodied authenticity and confidence - which is way different than arrogance. Peacocks don’t think they’re special. They simply go around looking and being exactly how the Divine made them.” So isn’t that what we should do…simply be who we are. Visit our website, CynthiaMacMillan.com, and sign up for our weekly newsletter. Until next time, live inspired!