LM, Episode 1211, 4/13/23, The Easter Rooster

I’m not afraid of birds, I’m petrified! But, think about it, birds have been around for 60 million years, they survived the dinosaurs, they outnumber humans by 40-60 times more, crows not only play jokes on each other, they communicate danger to each other. In fact, there’s a crow in Baltimore who has figured out the automatic doors at a Home Depot, she flies in and steals supplies to build her nest. It’s only a matter of time before they figure out weapons.

When the kids were young, we ordered pizza every Wednesday night while Twyla took a night class. One Wednesday I open the door for the pizza, a bird flies into the house. I scream and run out, leaving the kids to fend for themselves. A minute later, Keith, who is five, comes out, “Daddy, there’s a bird in the house.”

“Yeah, I know. Go get Maggie, we’re having a picnic this week. Oh, grab a couple of chairs so we don’t have to sit in the snow.”

The bird I’m most afraid of is the chicken. I assume this comes from my childhood. On Sunday morning my Grandma Rowan would grab a chicken by the neck and violently swing it around, then snap the chicken’s head off. This headless chicken proceeded to run around the yard while Grandma’s dog, Tilly, chased it. Of course, I watched this horror from the safety of Grandma’s screened in, back porch.

Chicken’s are why I feel safe around Twyla. When Twyla was a little girl she and her brothers received Easter chicks. Her Easter chick went to live at her Grandma Coffey’s farm and grew up to be a mean Easter rooster.

Once Sunday Twyla’s Easter rooster spurred her on her bottom. Twyla’s mom said the only reason it attacked her was he knew Twyla was afraid of it. Her mom’s advice was the chase the rooster so it would know she wasn’t afraid.

The following Sunday when Twyla’s family visited her Grandma Coffey, Twyla jumped out of the car and immediately started chasing the Easter rooster. Her brothers thought this looked like fun and they developed an Easter rooster relay. Twyla would chase it until she got tired, then her brother, Dana, would chase it until he got tired, then her brother, Delmar, would chase it until he got tired and Twyla would take another turn. They chased the Easter rooster until it stopped, took three gasps of breath, gasp, gasp, gasp, and dropped dead. I’m sure they had fried chicken that night.

Thank you for listening and always remember laughter matters.