LM, Episode 1221, 4/23/23, Baptists

There’s an old joke that protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the head of the church, Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the savior, and Baptists don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.

My alma mater, William Jewell College, was associated with the Southern Baptist when I went there. The first cross country practice, one of the other runners, Bob Landon, told me the rules for going to a Baptist college. He says, “There’s no drinking, no smoking, and you can’t have sex standing up because they’ll think you’re dancing.” And I figured Bob ought to know. His father was a Baptist preacher.

Women were only allowed in the men’s dorm rooms one night a week and you had to keep the light on, the door open and all four feet had to be on the floor. Luckily for me, when I was a kid, I played a lot of Twister. I know that’s a stupid joke, but it made me laugh when I thought of it.

A few years ago the Southern Baptist wanted William Jewell College to provide them with every student’s sexual orientation. Fortunately the leadership of the college found this to be too intrusive and refused, even though it meant losing financial support from the Southern Baptist. I must say I was never more proud of my school than at that moment.

And to my Baptist friends who I recognized at the liquor store, you know who you are, your secret is safe with me just as long as you don’t tell Twyla whenever you see me at the Taco Bell drive up window. Thank you for listening and always remember laughter matters.