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I’m going to cut right to the chase. If you’re attempting something great – building and growing a business, creating content, working through relationship drama, raising kids, tackling personal projects – you need support. Period.

And not getting the help you need can make the difference between living a life you love and one you despise.

Somewhere along the way, many of us adopted the notion that the self-made man is the gold standard, the ideal, that our success will be sweeter if we go it alone.

This is a big flawed premise. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Or woman (just to be clear.)

Did you make the device you’re reading this on? Did you cut the trees to get the wood to construct your house? Did you build your car or manufacture your stove? Did you make your shoes? I’m willing to bet no.

We get support in a million ways to live and function in the world. Why do we shoot ourselves in the foot by resisting support when it comes to reaching our goals?

This sometimes happens among my clients who have already invested in my services. Their impulse to “go it alone” overrides what makes sense: to take advantage of the resources at their disposal.

The go-it-alone tendency can manifest in multiple ways:

• Feeling embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help
• Feeling not worthy to use another person’s time
• Not wanting to take up air space in group coaching sessions
• Feeling hesitant about bringing negative energy or doubts into a group coaching session
• Missing appointments
• Not sharing your ideas and strategies so that others can provide feedback

But here is what I have observed. The fastest way to get from here to there is to put yourself in a supportive environment. Everyone needs support from time to time. Everyone. And encouragement, external resources, and feedback can be the difference between reaching your goals or not. Or it could be the difference between reaching your goals gracefully or exhaustedly.

There are no extra points for going-it-alone or being depleted. None.

But there is a lot of extra that comes with a supportive environment. There are shared resources, shared energy, encouragement, the give-and-take of receiving and providing feedback.

I am here to support you. Not to make decisions for you or to run your business. That’s your thing. But if you could benefit from support – and can’t we all? – then, I am here for you. From the podcast to Revolution to NLP Sales School to Momentum Maker and Soulful Business with NLP Facebook group, I’ve got many ways for you to plug in and get the support you need. We all benefit when we share our challenges, expertise, and solutions. Join in! Get and give the support we all need. We can do this together!

Thanks for listening!

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My take on abundance is that it’s always here, always available. It’s on tap 24/7, ready to pour into your existence. And it’s our scarcity thinking, old stories, and patterns that stop the natural flow of abundance. And all the years of coaching others and my personal work point to this:

No, you don’t have to earn abundance, and you don’t have to wait until you deserve it. It just is.

And I’m talking about abundance in all good things – an abundance of health, wealth, time, laughter, joy… Full, unbridled abundance.

So why might you not be feeling abundance in your life right now?

Old neural patterns, ideas of scarcity, and negative beliefs about money and prosperity divert our focus and keep the abundance-that-always-is out of our awareness much of the time. We get bogged down by our sensory experience and lose sight of all the prosperity and plenty that is around us.

Want to experience more abundance in your life? Yeah, me too! To do that, you must stop doing the following:

• Stop blaming. Stop blaming other people, situations, circumstances, etc. for your life experience. Take responsibility for your outcomes and remember that you’re doing the best you can. And then, focus on doing better.
• Stop telling yourself that you’re not worthy to have the things that you want. If you’re breathing, you’re worthy. You just are. And so is everybody else.
• Stop feeling guilty. Guilt serves a purpose in small doses but the way most people guilt themselves serves no one.
• Stop feeling shame. Let it go.
• Stop feeling resentful. Let go of past negative interactions with others.

Guilt, shame, and resentment don’t happen in a vacuum. You have established neural networks that contain these emotions that are triggered by some external event or memory. Be mindful of the events and then follow the suggestions below.

Instead of doing all the things that stop the flow of abundance, do the following:

• Cling to self-love. If you find it challenging to feel love for yourself, then imagine what it would be like if you did, and soak in that possibility. This will begin the process of creating a self-love container at an unconscious level.
• Live your vision of abundance as if it’s happening now. The free 21-Day Money Mindset Rewrite has a clever exercise for helping you do just this. I dare you to try it and see what happens.
• Interrupt old patterns. When you notice that you’re feeling uncomfortable with your current life experience, pause what you’re doing, and get in a feel-good state. Then return to what you were doing in that refreshed state. When you feel uncomfortable again, pause again to take time to get into a better state. Those good states will last longer and longer if you practice them. This is how you control your state in your moment-to-moment experience.
• Stay in gratitude. Actively look for the plentitude and the goodness that is all around you.

My 21-Day Money Mindset Rewrite has been creating big shifts for me and for others. Go get this free program! It will give you a big boost towards reclaiming your abundance.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• The Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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You’ve probably heard by now about my Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite program. It’s a 21-day program that drips encouragement to help you reset your money mindset.

I’ve been getting some great feedback so far. Here’s what I see the most: It’s difficult for people to stick with the program. It’s hard to create new habits!

Sometimes we get bored with a new habit. Or we forget why we wanted to install a new habit in the first place. Or we just get tired and want to do something familiar and comforting instead.

We have to decide that what we want is more important than staying in the same old thinking and behavioral patterns. You know, the behavioral patterns that are comfortable — the ones that got us where we are right now.

To support you in establishing new habits…

• Clearly identify what you want using only positive language.
• Ask youself…
• Who do I have to be to live that way or get that outcome?
• What beliefs and attitudes do I need to adopt to make this happen?
• What routines would be in my ideal self’s daily experience?
• What actions would I need to take to get there?

• What am I doing now that doesn’t align with and support what I want?

• Choose one small habit that you can start doing right now.

If you’re trying to break a bad habit, identify the triggers that lead to the habitual action. Becoming aware of the triggers is half the battle! When we’re aware of internal strategies and external cues, we can choose to interrupt the old patterns we want to break.

It’s essential to build in rewards for yourself along the way.

• If breaking a habit, give yourself a little reward each time you recognize the old triggers and choose a more supportive action.
• If you're adopting a new habit and feeling bored or frustrated, honor those nudges. Rather than pushing through, take a brief 10-15 minute break and do something supportive and pleasurable. Decide ahead of time on 3 to 5 different, fun activities that you can engage in during these times. This will interrupt the old pattern and will link pleasure with your new goal. Remind the unconscious mind what it feels like to complete the things you want to do.

Before long, you will have created the habits that will support you in achieving what you want. You’ve got this!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Bridging the Gap Between You and You
• NLP Money Mindset Rewrite

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Our mindset can make a challenge feel like a slow mountain climb or make that same challenge feel like a fun learning opportunity.

This year, one of the themes for my clients inside Soulful Business Revolution has been ease. Everybody in there is focusing on finding more ease so that their goals unfold in a way that feels effortless. They’re discovering that it’s possible to do big things with grace and ease.

I’m tackling some big things myself, and my goals are getting me up early in the morning and keeping me up late at night — for now.

As I think of my clients creating the changes they want from the inside out, the image that comes to mind is a pressure cooker. Pressure is applied for a duration of time, and during that time, you can’t tell that anything is happening. You don’t get to see any progress until the pressure is released, and — voila — you have the beautiful, delicious finished product!

It’s much the same way with personal transformations. When we’re in the thick of it, we can’t see the progress. Sometimes all we can see is that it’s a challenging time. But when the pressure lifts, we see the result of work that was happening under the lid all along.

And as you’re on your journey, a results game-changer is living your vision in your mind as if it’s happening now. This gives clear instructions to your unconscious mind to follow.

What most of us do is look to the future and count the days and months and years until this thing we want shows up. The problem with that strategy is that talking and thinking about what you want as if it’s coming someday in the future only trains your unconscious mind that what you want is out of reach because, as you’re thinking about it, it is.

When you stubbornly focus on your desired outcome and feel, inside, as if you’re living it now, you give your brain a chance to gather the resources to bring it to fruition.

You can learn to stay in the essence of what you want, let it permeate your being, and hold on to it. This is the key to bringing about transformation with ease.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Bridging the Gap Between You and You
• NLP Money Mindset Rewrite
• 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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When I recorded this episode, the 2022 Winter Olympics were underway in Beijing, China. After watching an interview with an Olympic skier, I was struck by the parallels between you and me.

An Olympian may train for decades for a 30-second race or downhill ski run. If that race was all that mattered, that could be pretty depressing. After all, there can only be one winner.

But if the ultimate goal is to get better and improve personally, then every race and workout can be a triumph and a stepping stone toward something incredible. When we focus on improvement and find purpose and joy in getting better, that puts the everyday “grind” in a new, sustainable light.

When the focus is on progress, that puts me in control of my outcomes.

If you’re building a business or on a self-improvement journey (which really, business growth IS personal growth), just like an Olympian, you’ve got to be in it for the long haul. There are no quick fixes and no shortcuts.

When I transitioned my face-to-face coaching business online, I threw money at various solutions, which didn’t work. Some things take time, and building momentum is one of those things. It’s built off the back of mindset and consistency.

To commit to the long game, know your purpose. NLP Tip: It should be more than just making money.

To stay excited and enthusiastic on the journey — connect deeply with your purpose.

The journey from here to there can be filled with away-from thinking, doubts, uncertainty, fear, and limiting beliefs. If it weren’t, you’d already be at your destination! The real challenge is to clean up all that debris. Over time, as you keep showing up and focus on improving, the energy in your body aligns with your desired outcome, and the positive results simply must show up in your experience.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• The Free NLP Money Mindset Rewrite
• Free Mindset Matters Coaching

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

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Last week one of my clients got an unpleasant text and said, “I don’t know why they keep doing that!”

My response was, “Let’s read that text again and pretend like it’s your unconscious mind talking to you.”

We uncovered some ideas that she had believed for a long time, but she had been looking at it from "It's them and not me." And when she embraced "This is me because my unconscious mind is me," then we were able to do some magnificent work.

Metaphors and symbols are the language of the unconscious mind. Carl Jung and Milton Erickson would say that your whole life experience is one big metaphor.

Let’s use money as an example because it’s tangible. If your life experience is a metaphor, what does your experience with money tell you about the patterns you’re running inside?

I use my souped-up version of NLP time techniques in my client work to uncover long-existing patterns and beliefs that no longer serve them. We glean what learnings we can take away from experiences, then release negative emotions and eliminate the limiting beliefs. And all of this is facilitated by communicating with their unconscious mind. Our work is to connect to the meaning behind the symbols embedded in the metaphor their unconscious mind is using to show us the problem.

I’ve been doing this work for a long time. Releasing negative emotions at an unconscious level is not a one-and-done event. So, before recording this episode, I decided to release negative emotions around money. I didn't really feel any, but I've done this several times since I grew up with boatloads of limiting beliefs around money.

To my surprise, my unconscious mind revealed an intriguing metaphor that you’ll hear all about in today’s episode. It blew my mind. The metaphor includes a petite man who has shut himself off from society, a hole in a wall, and a flower that is actually much more than just a flower. Here are some of the learnings reaffirmed by my unconscious mind:

• Money is energy.
• What we believe about and expect from money is what we’ll get.
• We project our perceived shortcomings onto money.

Most of us have learned through our lived experience that you have to work hard for money, that money is elusive, that money is difficult to save, and that there’s never enough money. Some of us may have even believed that people with a lot of money are bad or dishonest.

This episode is about stepping into consciousness, recognizing your limiting money beliefs, and healing your relationship with money. Remember, just because your unconscious mind believes something doesn’t mean it’s true. I want to help you shift through your ideas about money, hold onto the ones that serve you, let go of the ones that don’t, and adopt new beliefs around money that will help you get to where you want to go.

This is a process, and I’m right in there with you!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• The Unconscious Indulgence of Pain, Suffering, and Struggle

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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This past week, a theme popped up multiple times in my work. And it’s a theme that I used to run unconsciously as well. It goes something like this…

“I have to struggle to succeed.”

“People who suffer deserve to succeed.”

“Life is pain.”

“The more I can overcome pain and suffering, the more I prove my worthiness.”

When I was a single mom, I had several girlfriends who were in similar circumstances. We were all hardworking professional single moms who were bringing home (and cooking and serving) the bacon.

We were carting our kids around and supervising homework in between closing deals. We’d get together to sympathize with one another, pump each other up, and lick each others’ war wounds.

Heck, we were proud of those wounds. We were overcoming the hardships — we were doing it!

And at some point, it just became sad. If we were so awesome, why didn’t we have the partner we deserved? Why were our clients and customers such jerks sometimes? Why was life so exhausting?

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to change the channel with a reframe. Changing can be especially challenging when you live in an environment that glorifies suffering for a cause or for “the team.” This looks like: “Put in your time, and you’ll get the gold watch” (or the plaque, fancy vacation, or a handsome deposit in your 401K).

When the primary focus is on the struggle, the rewards may eventually come, but they’ll be over in an instant because the modus operandi, the day-to-day reality, is going to be on your focus — in this case, ”the struggle.”

If this resonates with you, it’s time to decide that you’ve suffered enough. It’s time to stop looking at the journey as something to endure. Instead, focus on the beauty, opportunities, growth, and all the things to celebrate on the journey. When you focus on those things, your unconscious mind — by need — will have to show them to you.

Don’t wait until you reach your destination to start enjoying the process, friend. The ride between there and here could be joyous. Ditch the suffering, pain, and struggle ideation, make peace with the fact that life is a process, and celebrate the journey.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
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Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution episode, One Simple Change for Big Results
• Mind Revolution episode, Bridging the Gap Between You and You

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

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All my clients are doing something to improve the quality of other people’s lives. They’re good at what they do, and they have every reason to be proud of their work. So, why do so many of them feel reluctant and foot-draggy when it comes to selling?

It boils down to mindset. The reason you have a hard time confidently inviting prospects to become your client so that you can positively impact their lives is the same reason you have a hard time expressing what you want and need in your relationships.

Our personal lives are often riddled with passive-aggressiveness and hint-dropping while hoping others read our minds. It’s as if we’re wishing our way to helping people see that we’re good enough to help them — and all without saying a word. In NLP, we call this living at effect.

Translated into the business setting, we hope we’ll get noticed and hired without doing the work. And when clients do sign up with us, we often second-guess our service’s value.

The beautiful thing about sales is that you know how you’re doing by looking at your results. There’s no guessing here.

And how you’re doing in sales will be a reflection of how you’re doing in life and your personal development.

The skills you need to excel in business are the same ones that will help you excel in relationships, your personal habits, and in daily disciplines.

Sales, to me, is a big metaphor for life. It says, "I’m someone who can speak about the things I want. I can ask for what I want. And I can talk about the goodness that I have to share and explain, in a way that you can understand, how it's going to serve and benefit you."

This is why selling with NLP lights my fire. You can learn to step into other people’s models of the world and lead them to other models where they have more choice. You can learn to speak to individual prospects in a way that they can best hear and understand your offer. You can more effortlessly find and communicate win-win solutions that are compelling and full of integrity.

This is why I created the NLP Sales School. And all the material is directly applicable to life and relationships in general. You, your business, and your life are worth the investment.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution Podcast episode, Bridging the Gap Between You and You

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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I’m in the middle of preparing to launch NLP Sales School. I’ll deliver the NLP material in a very digestible style and format that I’ve never seen before. I’m super proud of and excited about this legacy product that I’m creating.

We’re launching in less than a week, and, to be honest, the process of creating this course hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. It’s been a lot of work! This process has been a reminder that there’s a balance I need to strike between striving for excellence and giving myself a break.

Case in point… This morning I headed downstairs, as usual, to make coffee before heading to my office. But this morning, I felt a tug inside to pause and look out the window. That glance out the window turned into 30 minutes of sitting in gratitude as I sipped my coffee and gazed over the snowy landscape out the window of our new Kentucky home. The view and the moment were simply breathtaking. Taking it all in was nourishment to my soul.

Then Ron and Gunner came downstairs, and I felt compelled to share the view and those precious morning moments with them. So I did. And when we all had our fill, I felt revitalized, and I headed up to the office, ready to get my game-face on and get to work.

However, I stopped in my tracks when Ron announced he was going to check out an authentic Mexican market, a place nearby that we hadn’t yet explored.

My look said it all. “What? I’m the Mexican in this household. If anyone is going to the Mexican market, it should be me!”

But before I could speak the words, I felt another tug and knew what I needed to do. Sure, I would have loved to make a date of it and go to the Mexican market with Ron. But I had just enjoyed our connection, and now another purpose was calling. It was time to work on this course. I’ll enjoy the market sometime soon. But in that moment, I committed to excellence.

Today’s episode explores the NLP principle of going one step further. Do what’s in your comfort zone, and then go one step further. That’s the path to excellence.

The beautiful thing about going one step further is that it requires awareness and focus — two of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for creating the life experience you want.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Make sure you check out our free resources!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Carl Rogers, whose work changed the way therapists work with their clients, said that humans are designed for fulfillment, joy, wholeness, and success. We’re created for self-actualization. That’s why we always find ourselves wanting more, striving for more, wanting to be better. We sense that innate potential within ourselves.

It’s like we’re all living with two versions of ourselves at the same time. There’s the self that you are now and the self that you want to be. There’s you experiencing the world now, and there’s your actualized self.

Self-actualization begins with awareness. Awareness of where you are now and where you want to be, and the awareness that everything you need is already inside of you. This awareness allows you to shed comparison and competition, paving the way for personal growth and win-wins.

Awareness helps you shift your direction filter to a positive-toward direction, focusing on what you want rather than focusing on what you don’t want. In this way, the target gets bigger as you move towards your goal, increasing your momentum and getting to where you want to be much more quickly than focusing on what you’re trying to leave behind.

How can we bridge the gap between the version of you that exists today and the self-actualized you? Both iterations of yourself already exist in your unconscious mind. So how can you move closer to the actualized self and experience more of that in your daily life?

Change your thinking. Pay attention to your thoughts and how you’re feeling. When you’re not feeling great, it always mean you’re thinking a thought that negatively impacted your sense of wellbeing. If what you’re thinking about doesn’t feel good, shift your thought to something that feels even just a little bit better. Frame things in positive, toward language. Think about what you want in your life without judgment or impatience. Just relish in the daydream. Explore what those things will do for you and how they’ll make you feel. The most important time to do this is before you find yourself in a crappy mood and then when a crappy mood shows up. Yep, I’ve said it before — manage your state.

Watch your words. Be mindful of the words in your head and those that come out of your mouth. Remember that your unconscious mind takes everything personally. Whether you’re thinking good or bad thoughts, your unconscious mind thinks it’s about you.

Not only that. We limit the people in our lives by what we think and say about them. Imagine yourself and the people around you completely whole, happy, fulfilled, and successful. Hold onto that vision. You’re likely to see a change in a positive direction.

Take consistent action. Learn something new. Access available resources. Rewrite negative beliefs. Take baby steps in the direction of what you want. Do these things consistently, and momentum will grow.

This will allow you to bridge the gap between the two yous. As you build momentum and achieve small victories, you’ll find yourself being guided to where you’re supposed to be. It’s a beautiful thing, and it’s totally within your reach. In fact, it’s already in you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies!
• Join the Sales Mindset Makeover

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Today’s episode is about that voice in your head. The one that second guesses your actions, that says you’re not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?”

That voice is your inner critic.

If you have one — you’re not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program...and it felt like a flop because it didn’t reach my expectations. Now, it wasn’t completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for.

And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.

What’s interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too.

What is the inner critic anyway?

NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts. These are parts of your unconscious mind that don’t realize they’re parts of the larger whole of your consciousness. These parts have their own values, their own sets of beliefs, and their own personalities. And when they get triggered, it feels like something awful’s got a hold of you and you can’t get away for its grip.

I believe inner critics are just that — a part.

From my own experiences and my clients’ experiences, I’ve learned that it’s helpful to view the inner critic like a child. It’s like a child who’s grown up in a sheltered environment and is sorely lacking in information and experience.

Your job is to educate your inner critic, to educate this “child” who doesn’t know any better.

I prefer to educate with the “feedback sandwich” method. It looks like this: a hug, followed by a punch, and finished with a hug.

• Acknowledge the inner critic’s good intention. Inner critics show up to keep us in line (according to their perceptions) and are only trying to protect you. Thank them for that good intention.
• Then explain that you’ve learned some things your inner critic doesn’t know yet. For instance, you’re deserving of all good things, and you have the resources you need to achieve your goals.
• Invite the part, the inner critic, to learn these new truths and to come play with the whole of you in this bigger playground, bringing with it that positive intention while expanding its knowledge base.

When you can become aware of when the inner critic rears its head and begin to re-educate it, beautiful things can happen.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Check out the 10 Step Problem-Solving Method in our Freebies section

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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I love the Thanksgiving holiday because it’s a reminder of the abundance we experience every day. But instead of focusing on gratitude for this episode, I want to focus on love.

We have many false concepts about love, concepts handed down to us from others and “affirmed” by our life experience. The ego would have us believe that love comes from others as if it’s outside of ourselves. Many of us grew up believing that love is conditional and is something we need to earn.

If we believe love is something we have to earn, there’s an inherent assumption it can also be lost, withheld, or taken away when we don’t perform or measure up.

And if we believe that we only receive love after doing something “worthy,” there will always be an element of questioning our own worth, which can easily lead to a sense of not-enoughness hanging over us.

This is not love.

Love just is — it’s all around you. It’s there whether you accept it or not, and is unchanging and is always available to you.

Why does having an improved concept of love matter anyway?

Because living in the reality of love as an ever-present force brings peace to the self. When you embrace that love simply is, that it doesn’t have to be earned, you can begin accepting yourself as you are. And when you accept yourself as you are, it’s much easier to accept others as they are. This is the personal freedom we all seek.

See how beautiful and contagious can this be?

If love could speak for itself, what would it say?

Maybe the message would look like this:

Stop it already. You are enough. Give up trying to win love. You already have it. Just be.

Love — or better said, the seeking of it — is behind every intention, every behavior. (This might be difficult to believe at first glance, but dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that it’s true.)

Look beyond your perceived limitations. You are capable of anything you want to achieve.

Love is always present.

Love does not judge.

Love is patient.

Happy Thanksgiving, with much love.

Thanks for listening!

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• The Big Forgiveness Episode

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Science tells us that we’re exposed to somewhere between 2 and 11 million bits of information per second, but we can only consciously process 50 to 60 of those bits. To simplify things, the unconscious mind creates shortcuts to size up information and reach conclusions efficiently.

That strategy works great for lots of things.

When you arrive at a traffic light, you don’t have to think about what the red light means, and you don’t feel confused about what to do when it turns green. Thanks to symbols and mental shortcuts, you can sail through many daily situations — no problem. Those mental shortcuts can serve us well — most of the time.

When it comes to relationships, though, those mental shortcuts can be a problem. It’s easy for us to jump to conclusions based on our perceptions. We come to conclusions based on what we think we perceive in others’ body language, behaviors, and tone. Then we act on those often erroneous conclusions, causing us to pull back, assume things we shouldn’t, make bad decisions, or even alienate others.

As much as we may like to think otherwise, we’re not mind readers. Not only that, everything that we do perceive is first filtered and then always distorted by our own experiences, beliefs, values, and perspectives.

Here's how we can make those filters less likely to limit us:

• Recognize that you have biases, that you can never know the whole story. There’s nothing personal about this. It’s simply a reality based on how the mind works.
• Become more self-aware by recognizing your own beliefs, values, and biases. And, become aware of how you could do better.
• Ask more questions. Instead of assuming, get curious. Ask for clarification. Ask for more details. Ask why.

This process will benefit all of your relationships — whether personal or for business. It will increase understanding and broaden your perspective, paving the way for better connections.

Thanks for listening!

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We’re approaching Thanksgiving, and I’m going into appreciation mode in a big way. My kids call this my sappy time of year because I’m in such deep gratitude for everything from sunrises and sunsets to family and my work. I get misty-eyed from feeling overwhelmed with all the goodness in my life.

A big part of what I’m thankful for is you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the messages you send me. It is a joy to share with you what I’ve learned about creating a life you can love. And while today’s episode may seem cliche since it’s airing right around Thanksgiving, the message here is pure gold for helping you get what you want in life.

For years my mom has had the practice of, as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning, she would give thanks — for breath, her pillow, blanket, for her healthy body… I’ve adopted the same practice, though it hasn’t always been my practice.

I know what it’s like to wake up feeling anxious, scared, and totally stressed out. I did that for many years. Giving thanks hasn’t always been easy for me, but practicing gratitude is just that — a practice. And it’s worth it because it’s so powerful that this seemingly small practice can change your life.

Cultivating a gratitude practice is one of the most powerful things you can do to shift your perspective and your life in a positive direction.

Today’s episode is an invitation to do one simple process from now through the end of the year. Make a list of everything you’re grateful for. No need to list why you’re grateful. Just list the good stuff, one thing after the other. Empty out in one big session of thankfulness.

Then each day from now to the end of the year, add one thing to the list.

What you can expect is that as you focus on the good things in your life, you’ll start to notice more good things in your life experience. It’s just the way the mind works.

Enjoy it. Bask in it. Play with the process. Have fun with it. Feel all the good feels and give thanks for the shifts and wins along the way.

Thanks for listening!

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• Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
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We often have the idea that we have to accomplish or acquire things before having a life we love. Actually, the opposite is true. When you learn to love your life right now, you'll more easily be able to accomplish what you want.

It sounds backward, doesn’t it?

What I’ve discovered is that the people that thrive in my programs are the ones that focus on making their present moment the best that it can possibly be.

NLP teaches that a key component to living a happy life is managing your moment-to-moment experience. You might not have what you want yet or be where you want to be right now, but by managing how you feel, you can train your brain to support you in achieving those things you desire.

Managing your moment-to-moment experience is the most effortless way I know of to get from where you are to where you want to be.

Here are five tips to support you in doing just that.

• Write about what you want using positive language (leave out the things you want to “not happen”). Write in as much detail as you want. Revise it. Let it rest a few days, and then revisit it. Then revise some more. Play with those dreams and desires and have fun with the process.
• Look for ways to cultivate self-love and self-care. This requires awareness of how you’re feeling in the moment. When you feel down or off, take the time to explore where the negativity is coming from, address it, and support yourself in feeling better.
• Explore ways to make your present moment more enjoyable and fulfilling. Listen to a feel-good audio, take deep breaths, sit in gratitude or make a thankful list. And when something good happens, savor that moment so that the positive feelings will last as long as possible.
• Decide on what you want to achieve long-term. If you’re not sure about the specifics, just focus on the big picture and the essence of what you want to feel.
• Honor yourself by taking action. No need to try to tackle everything at once. Just consistently give a bit of time each day to take another step toward your goals.

Creating a life you love asks of you that you make today, this moment, one that feels alive, invigorating, and nourishes and empowers you. It’s about the now — not someday. You can’t resent the now and create a beautiful future.

Thanks for listening!

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• Mind Revolution episode, Managing Negative Emotions Effectively
• Mind Revolution episode, 5 Ways to Cultivate Self-Love
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We’ve just completed our 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough. It was everything I had hoped — and more! After going live nearly every day for three weeks, I was running on empty and in need of a break. When I slowed down and pressed pause, I realized what I was craving most — gentle loving-kindness towards myself.

I’m not talking about self-care. Nor am I talking about eating well, going to the gym, or getting enough sleep. I’m good about that sort of routine self-care.

What was missing was a deeper, more gentle connection with myself.

That deeper kind of self-love, for me, comes from an assumption that I’m worthy. I don’t have to wait or do anything or reach some level of “perfection” before I’m worthy of self-love. Perfection doesn’t exist in the real world. I exist, therefore I am worthy.

Self-love is a state of being. Today I’m sharing ways to cultivate more of that deep self-love:

1. Have self-awareness. Be aware of what you’re thinking, feeling, and what you want. Be curious about these things without passing judgment. Then ask if those things serve you. If they don’t, you can work to change your feelings, thoughts, and desires to something that does serve you.
2. Practice loving, compassionate self-care. Practicing big-picture self-care isn’t about having a set way of doing things. Compassionate self-care lets you gauge what will best serve you in your moment-to-moment experience. It’s having the flexibility to meet yourself, with compassion, where you are right now.
3. Take responsibility for your wellbeing. Accept that you’re responsible for your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
4. Set healthy boundaries. Know when it’s appropriate to say yes and no. Find a balance and honor your boundaries.
5. Celebrate your progress and your wins. Your unconscious mind is like a small child. The more you communicate to your unconscious mind what you want, what you like, how you want to feel, the more it will bring the essence of those things into your experience.

Self-love is so much more than feeling good. It’s about having a deep appreciation for yourself and meeting yourself where you are right now.

Thanks for listening!

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• Mind Revolution episode “My 5 Daily Practices for Making it a Great Day”
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Part of being human is having a desire for evolution and change. We are seekers of constant improvement. Sometimes change is hard to come by because there’s no clear path to go from where we are to what we want. This is where determination and resolve come in handy.

I think it’s safe to say that if you’re reading this, you want to take charge of making changes in your life.

You’re ready to take an active role in creating what you want in your life experience.

Great — taking ownership of your success journey will require a few things that when you apply consistently will make success a reality faster than you might think.

• You must have the potential for change. Nothing will happen without it. So, How do you know if you’ve got potential for change?
• • You feel unsatisfied with things in your life experience and have a nagging thought you’re meant for more.
  • You have a curious mind.
  • You have an ability and desire to learn.
• You’re ready to take responsibility for the 4 things you can control:
• • Your thoughts — Your thoughts lead to your focus which leads to your outcomes. If your thoughts aren’t leading to successful outcomes, you can change them to something that better serves you. Check out our free resources linked in the show notes.
  • Your emotions — Emotions are communication from your unconscious mind. Learn from them, process them, and get into feel-good states.
  • Your language — The words you speak and the words in your mind matter. Use positive, toward language to speak to the things you want and how you want them (not about what you don’t want).
  • Your actions — Take consistent action that aligns with the success you want. The key is to do it consistently and with intention.
• Be at cause. This is the essential NLP frame for empowerment.
  When you decide to take ownership of your outcomes, you become more aware of your state, environment, and the outcomes you’re currently getting. The empowerment frame teaches that you are the sum of your conscious and unconscious choices.

So if you want to know how you’re doing, just look around what’s going on internally and externally. There’s no blame here — only the knowledge and awareness that you have a choice in the matter. And when you know better, you can do better. * + Awareness leads to inspired action, which leads to more resources, more knowledge, and opportunities for creating lasting change.

Then you’ll be ready to create the change you seek by doing the following:

• Focus on what you want with complete abandon. Don’t get frustrated if it’s not your life experience right now. Maintain focus on the desire for the sheer joy of wanting it.
• Speak to what you want. Using positive, toward language creates momentum. Simply say it the way you want it.
• Take action that aligns with your goals.
• Be at cause by paying attention to your moment-to-moment experience.

This is simple, but it isn’t easy. My coaching programs help clients get to success more quickly. But can you do it on your own? Absolutely! I did. And you’ll find many free resources here to support you on your journey. Own your journey. You’ve got this.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Soulful Business Revolution Program — open for enrollment now
• 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough
• Mind Revolution episode The Life-Changing Power of Redefining Deserving
• Check out our free resources!

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Are you deserving of all good things?

Deep down, do you FEEL deserving?

When I asked the folks in my Abundance Breakthrough that question, I got a mixed bag of answers. Some people said yes, others said sometimes, and some said, “I feel like I have to earn my deserving.”

Many of us grew up with ideas from religion or household rules or other life philosophies about deserving being a prerequisite to having good things, so it’s understandable that the idea of deserving is deeply ingrained in many of us. Deserving presupposes that we have to achieve, do, or prove something to be worthy of having what we want.

Here’s my next question: Who decides what or how much you deserve?

Here are some sobering things I’ve observed about the concept of deserving:

• Deserving assumes we have to do something to have good things. And if you don’t do those things, then you don’t deserve the good things you want.
• If we’ve done “good,” then we might feel entitled to those good things — like somebody owes us something.
• Then entitlement puts us at effect because we’re expecting people or situations outside of ourselves to fulfill a desire.
• A feeling of deservingness can lead to inaction. If we feel like we’re already deserving, it can lead to an I-should-already-have-it attitude and a failure to take action toward what we want.
• The concept of deserving can result in justification for bad behavior. “I deserve this, so I’m going to just take it.”
• Deserving can lead to self-sabotage. “I’ve been good lately, so I’m going to cheat on my diet today. I deserve this.”

What if instead of working to be deserving you believed that:

• You don’t “deserve” abundance in the same way you don’t “deserve” scarcity.

• You don’t “deserve” good health in the same way you don’t “deserve” disease.

• You don’t “deserve” love in the same way you don’t “deserve” pain.

• You don’t “deserve” success in the same way you don’t “deserve” failure.

Think of how your focus would shift and how you would use your time and energy.

I help my clients unlink the concept of deserving from anything they want to achieve all the time because that narrative is outdated and irrelevant. We would be better served by focusing more on congruence and alignment with the abundance and worthiness inherent within each of us.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough
• Check out our free resource for rewriting limiting beliefs

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According to the principles of NLP, you’re living two realities — your internal reality and the external reality. And your external reality is going to align with your internal reality. This is why you’ve heard me say if you want to know how you’re doing on the inside, look at what’s happening in your environment.

My clients are “getting” this, and they know to look inward when they don’t like what’s happening in their environment.

Case in point — one of my clients is in an industry that requires her to make telephone sales calls. She had been given multiple verbal yeses from potential clients, but these prospects hadn’t signed on the bottom line. So she had verbal agreements but nothing concrete.

Upon reflection, she had a lightbulb moment. Her prospects were not following through with their verbal commitments in the same way that she was not following through with making her sales calls.

Boom!

This is how it happens. What’s happening internally will be reflected in your environment.

Remember that the unconscious mind is highly moral. It will be faithful to the morality it’s been taught. And I would bet that most of us came from upbringings where we were expected to honor our commitments. And if we didn’t, there may have been some sort of punishment.

If that’s the case for you, your unconscious mind can “discipline” you when you fail to meet your commitments or honor your decisions. “Discipline” can show up in a myriad of ways. And if you’re paying attention, you can find the connections and make corrections. Remember that your unconscious mind’s job is to get you back on track as defined by what it knows to be true.

And when you honor your decisions by taking action…

• You create the container for that action. It may be awkward and uncomfortable at first when you haven’t done it consistently. But the more you do it, the more your container, the more comfortable you’ll be with the change.
• Because perception is projection, the people in your space will honor your decisions too. And sometimes, you’ll see them begin to honor their commitments too.

One of my clients likens this process to a phoenix rising. Honoring your decisions and commitments builds momentum and strength and the internal conviction that “I keep my commitments.” Before long, you’ll have an attitude of “What else can I do? What’s next?”

Thanks for listening!

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• 21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough

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Evolving, growing, transforming — this is what the people in my space want (and they’re doing it!) Change is beautiful and thrilling, and it comes with some challenges.

When you're ready to create change, your unconscious mind will begin to show you all the ways that what you’re currently doing doesn’t work. And let me tell you, that can feel frustrating. But it’s just your unconscious mind confirming for you that growth is in order. While uncomfortable, this is just part of the growth process. So it’s probably a good idea to expect and embrace it. It means that your unconscious mind is getting on board — which is great news!

This discomfort is what can propel you to take action in the direction of what you want. The first step can be especially difficult because your nervous system is learning and evolving to accommodate the growth you’re seeking.

This is why taking those first steps can be painfully uncomfortable.

I’ve made two big changes in my career, and both times my new choices were uncomfortable until I learned the way around this expanded version of me. Recording and publishing my first podcast was so scary! But after doing it a few times, it was no big deal. And now I record and release episodes with speed. No sweat. When I decided to get more visible and start creating videos on Instagram — yikes! I was so nervous! Now that I’ve done it, though, I’m becoming more comfortable. I feel as if my brain is expanding and supporting me, and I’m even having fun with it.

What changed? Two things.

1. I took (external) action.
2. I had (internal) growth.

Our nervous systems have a tremendous ability to change when things in our environment begin to change. But in order for change to occur, we must do some things differently. Our internal growth is fueled the action we take during times of change. And evolution of our neurological container (the nervous system) can and does compel us to action. In other words, action, growth, and evolution go hand in hand.

To be successful in making changes in business:

• Don’t compare yourself to the outliers in your industry. You shouldn’t expect the same results as someone who has been working at their business for years or has a massive email list when you’re a few months in. Model them, sure. But don’t compare.
• Learn to sell by listening and using language effectively. (This is where the NLP Selling Series comes in!)
• Become more visible to grow your business — share content regularly, show your face on social media, try out video. Don’t worry; people are not nearly as interested in what you do or look like as you are.
• Persevere. Keep going. Take the next step. As you do, your nervous system will evolve to support you.
• Honor your vision.
• • By giving it energy
  • By learning new things
  • By getting better each day

Change is indeed hard. And you might feel like it's not the right time because you've never done this before. I’ve got to break it to you… There's no such thing as a right time when your brain hasn't done it before. Embrace the discomfort to embrace the growth. You and your vision are worth it! And I’m here to support you on your journey. Let’s do this!

Thanks for listening!

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People are social creatures, and we organize ourselves into cultures, societies, governments, groups. And here’s the thing about these groups — most people here are living in a self-sacrificial environment. At an unconscious level, we’re taught that the individual is subservient to the group, and the group is more important than the individual.

Is it any wonder that most of us have a hard time embracing our desires and dreams when we’ve been conditioned to feel guilty and selfish if we expend too much energy going after what we want?

In today’s episode, we scratch the surface of Clare Graves’ Values work. Clare Graves’ work is less about individual values and more about thinking systems. The foundational values level systems are rooted in self-sacrifice or aggressive, shoot-myself-in-the-foot type of self-expression.

It’s not until Values Level (VL) 5 (there are at least 8 values levels) that we get into expressive values with win-win scenarios. It’s a level where individualistic, “selfish” behavior isn’t viewed as being at odds with the group’s prosperity. This is huge! Especially for entrepreneurs, coaches, and commissioned salespeople.

It’s my goal to help all of my entrepreneurial clients and students transition into a solid VL5. Here you can begin to really live — guilt-free — from a place of abundance, of recognizing that it won’t take anything away from anyone else. And the nature of VL5 allows for more curiosity which usually leads to more introspective work and deeper spiritual connections.

Is Values Level 5 all there is? Hardly. But according to Clare Grave’s model, we can’t fully evolve to more complex levels until we’ve actualized the previous ones. Transitioning out of the sacrificial levels and firmly into a more resourcefully expressive level is key to your personal and financial evolution.

Yep, Values Levels play an unconscious role in your money story. The story creates internal systems and environments that affect your decision-making.

And you can interrupt unhelpful stories by…

• Remembering that it’s just a story
• Interrupting the story with reject-delete and something that makes you laugh
• Imagining the power that once belonged to the story is coming back to you, where it belongs
• Taking action that aligns with what you want

You are the author of your money story. If the story you’re currently running isn’t serving you, change it.

To learn more about how to do this, join our upcoming 21-day NLP abundance breakthrough. It’s free, and it’s powerful. Make your money story one that you want to live.

Thanks for listening!

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• 21-day free NLP abundance breakthrough, starting October 6

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There’s no such thing as small changes. All change is BIG.

Some changes might seem small, but when you shift to something outside of your usual patterns or take a path that diverges from your typical choices, that’s no small feat. Continue to make small, incremental changes, and you can dramatically change your life’s trajectory.

But change is scary because getting out of the comfort zone is uncomfortable.

I always tell my clients that intentional change is optional. You have a right to stay in what’s familiar. You’re entitled to your away-froms, negative thinking, and limiting beliefs. You can continue to do the same thing and hope that something will change. You can stay right where you are and try to make the most of it.

But the reality is that the comfort zone eventually reveals a certain discomfort. The comfort zone is supposed to be comfortable, but it’s also boring and predictable, and it becomes increasingly unsatisfying.

Why? Because human beings are meant to grow and evolve.

You were meant for change.

“But, Brenda, you already said change is hard and scary.”

Yes, it is. And avoiding change comes with its own baggage. Whether you choose to avoid change or choose to grow and evolve, there will be discomfort.

There will be discomfort in trying new things and taking chances. And there will be discomfort in staying in the same place. And the choice is yours.

We can learn to reframe the fear of getting outside the comfort zone because there is seldom any real danger involved. The safety that we feel in the comfort zone is usually nothing more than emotional safety. And years of inaction or years of doing the same thing can blind us to the other available options.

My invitation is for you to, first, realize that you have a choice. You can stay where you are, or you can choose to grow. And, second, I invite you to choose the path that helps you expand. Yes, there will be discomfort in the growth, but there will be benefits and newness on the other side of that growth.

Thanks for listening!

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• Soulful Business Reboot - 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough

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To get what we want in life, we need to balance thinking and doing, and connecting emotionally and spiritually with what we want. A lot of the work I do with my clients is about creating the emotional and spiritual space for the things they want in their lives.

This emotional-spiritual collaboration lets us get what we want with a greater sense of ease, purpose, and fun.

The problem is that our internal resources go largely untapped. We simply haven’t been trained to cultivate and use them. It’s like you have a sports car sitting in the garage, but you don’t even know it’s there. And all the while, you’re sweating on a bicycle around town when you could be driving your sports car.

We have this fantastic, powerful resource inside us, so how can we tap into it?

Often we see things we want and feel a pang inside. Perhaps it feels like jealousy or lack. The next time you feel triggered by seeing something you want, try this:

Step one — Find a sense of trust inside that you have the resources, access to them, and the power to use them to get what you want. You can say, "I use my power to access the resources to create this thing I want."

Step two — Say or write, “I access those resources and use them to achieve what I want.”

Step three — Say or write, “I assess my outcomes and make adjustments as needed.”

Step four — Say or write, “I trust the process until I reach the desired results.”

Write these steps in a favorite notebook, print them out or take a screenshot. And when you feel triggered by something you want that’s not currently in your life experience, go through these steps. With time and repetition, your unconscious mind will tap into your available resources and make way for your desires.

Run this mental strategy with emotions attached. Let your emotions fuel and propel your desires because — remember — emotions are the language of the unconscious mind. Imagine that you’re living your desired outcome now. That will help your unconscious mind get on board.

By tapping into your internal resources, you’ll see results quickly. Give it a try!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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• Upcoming Soulful Business Reboot — 21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough

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Over the last week, a theme was running through the people in my space — one of frustration. Many clients and students felt that they were doing all the right things but they weren’t getting the outcomes they wanted. It was happening in their businesses, sales, and relationships. By the end of the week, I had to use NLP to release frustration for myself!

If you can subscribe to the NLP idea that you are the sum total of your conscious and unconscious choices and can believe that you can train your unconscious mind, then I’ve got good news and bad news for you. The bad news: You’re responsible for your life experience. The good news: You’re responsible for your life experience. And you can shape that life experience by working with your conscious and unconscious minds.

If you feel like you’re doing everything you can but the results aren’t to your liking, here are some things to consider…

• Are you going deep to uncover dominant limiting beliefs? Working on surface-level things can only get you so far.
• If you feel like you’re missing the “abundance gene,” that often means your focus is on lack. Do you have a deep sense of trust that things will work out for you? Do you believe the universe has your back?
• Do your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, expectations, and behaviors align with the outcomes you seek? Maybe one or two areas are off. Focus on aligning mentally, emotionally, and energetically with your goals.
• Are you doing mindset work consistently? It’s easy to stop when you begin to feel better. The key is to keep doing internal work until feeling good and positive outcomes are the norm. And then keep going to make it even better.
• Are you doing what you’ve always done, thinking what you’ve always thought and expecting things to change? For things to change, your thoughts and actions must align with what you want.

Negative experiences are just letting you know that something like thoughts, beliefs, or emotions are out of balance. And it’s easy to get derailed by what’s going on in our environments. This is where staying vigilant and consistent with internal work pays off.

The quality of your internal filters is revealed in how you’re feeling right now. So, if you feel like you’re doing everything you know to do but aren’t living the life you crave, perhaps this is an ideal opportunity to make that inward turn to align your thinking, beliefs and expectations with your desired outcomes.

I share this with a sense of compassion because, hey, I’ve been there. I aim to inspire and empower you by asking, “And now, what are you going to do about it?”

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution episode Managing Negative Emotions Effectively

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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If you’re here, you’re probably like most of my clients. You want to have something in your life experience, but it’s not here yet. Or, there are some things in your life experience that you don’t like.

Bottom line, you want change in your life.

For many of us, things are great in most areas of life, but there are one or two challenging areas. These areas are where our conscious and unconscious minds don’t align.

In NLP, we say there are two types of problems:

1. The presenting problem — what’s in our sensory awareness
2. The deep structure problem — what’s happening underneath in our belief systems. This is the root of the presenting problems.

To achieve the change you’re seeking — you need to align your intention and your behavior.

To do this, first, let’s clear up some misconceptions:

• Misconception 1 - Plan for the future by thinking about the future.
• • The truth - Your unconscious mind understands the difference between the concepts of “present” and “future”, and while your unconscious mind exists in an ever present “now”, if in your “now” you’re thinking of something happening in the future, then you're communicating the essence of “not here, and not yet” to your unconscious mind and that “not yet” can become a thought and manifestation loop. This is HUGE.

• Rather than having thoughts and plans for “someday,” get your unconscious mind primed and ready by imagining that what you want is happening now, in this present moment. Let those feelings percolate in the now.

• Misconception 2 - Keep thinking the same thoughts and get better outcomes.

• • The truth - To get different outcomes, your thinking has to change.
  • • When you think of the person with the outcomes that you want, what do they believe?
    • What do they see in their world?
    • How do they spend their time?
    • What behaviors serve them?

• Misconception 3 - To create what you want, you have to feel good 24/7.

• • The truth - You live in the real world, and crappy stuff will come into your awareness. You’ll have negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. The key is to become aware of them and address them. We can eradicate automatic negative thoughts with some exercises you can find in the freebies section. Tackle them one at a time as you become aware of them. Perfection isn’t the goal. Awareness is.

• Misconception 4 - You can keep your limiting beliefs and make amazing things happen.

• • The truth - For amazing things to happen, you need to tackle those limiting beliefs, changing the underlying structure that will topple the presenting problems in your world.

This isn’t about living a problem-free life. Our world is a mix of positive and negative energy, and it’s impossible to be unaffected by the negative. But we can become aware, address it, and do the world to create a more beautiful life.

Thanks for listening!

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When you turn on a garden hose, do you wait impatiently for the water to come out of the spout? Of course not.

You know it’s coming eventually, so you trust that water’s going to pour out of there any second.

When you plug in the hairdryer, do you wonder if it will work? Probably not.

When you drive on a two-lane road, are you afraid that the oncoming traffic will hop into your lane? I hope not.

When you go to bed at night, are you concerned that the sun might not rise in the morning? No way!

We TRUST that these things will happen.

What would happen if we, in a similar way, trust that the universe had our backs? What if we trust the universe with our big desires knowing full well they would show up?

In today’s episode, I’m inviting you to adopt a sense of trust and surrender regarding the outcomes that you want, to trust in the power of your unconscious mind and your source (God, the universe, creative energy, etc.) just like you would the force behind the garden hose.

When you turn on the spigot, you know there’s a lag time before the water reaches the end of the hose. But the lag doesn’t make you doubt that the flow will come. You know you just need to give it a few seconds before you see evidence of the flow.

It’s much the same when tapping into the power and abundance of the universe. There’s some lag time, but there’s no need to fret about the lag. The key is to stay positive in your anticipation and expectation as you focus on your desired outcome. If you start to feel impatient, temporarily shift your focus to something else that will help you get in a feel-good state. The key is to manage your moment-to-moment state as you focus on the essence of what you want. The key is to live as if it’s already yours, and that its arrival is certain.

Trust that the universe has your back. The energy flow is always there. And you have the opportunity to co-create with your source.

Let that sink in.

If you’re skeptical, that’s okay. But what do you think could happen if your unconscious mind believed that the universe could be trusted? Isn’t it worth a seven-day experiment to find out?

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• MR116 One Simple Change for Big Results -- on disconnecting the cause and effect

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NLP places a premium on the ‘L’ -- linguistic. Language. The language we use matters. And the language we use gives us all sorts of clues about what we believe.

Today we're talking about two different linguistic assumptions. See if you spot these in your own thinking.

The first is cause and effect, the linguistic structure behind beliefs. It's simply the idea that one thing causes another. Cause and effect is all about the “how”. Like I must work hard to have money — meaning HOW does one make money? Oh, by working hard.

Or He must do ____ in order for me to feel loved. Cause and effect thinking can often lead to the next linguistic assumption: complex equivalence.

Complex equivalence occurs when we equate two things as being equal. Making money equals working hard. Or My partner neglects to _____ which means he doesn't love me.

These linguistic assumptions trip us up because instead of focusing on the thing that we want and feeling good, we’ve linked what we want to something that is uncomfortable or difficult or overwhelming. Maybe you want to see a certain amount in your bank account, and you assume you’ll have to take certain uncomfortable steps to get from here to there.

In cases like that, the key is to unlink the feel-good outcome you want from the other assumed steps that don’t feel great. Unlink those things and just focus on what feels good.

Just suppose you trained your unconscious mind to completely remove the notion of working hard, and you instead focused your energy on what it would feel to do work you love and receive all the money you need — as two separate things.

And what if you eliminated external factors in order to feel loved, and simply focused on feeling loved?

This is exactly what my clients are doing, and it works!

I know it sounds crazy and maybe a bit pie-in-the-sky. But this is what "allowing” looks like. You focus on the feel-good part and allow the universe to do its part. And if there are steps along the way from here to there that feel good, you can focus on those too for as long as it feels good.

We bring so many assumptions to the table about how things should unfold. And if we could just let go of the how, the universe can get to work on our behalf and bring us what we want in unexpected ways or with a sense of ease that we didn't realize was possible.

So if you’re finding yourself getting caught in the weeds of what it’s going to take to get from here to there, unlink that cause-and-effect thinking and those complex equivalences and just focus on the feel-good outcome. I dare you to try it and see what happens.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• “It’s not here yet…” More about this in Episode 115, Quantum Leap Thinking to Change Paradigms

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This week is Integration Week inside our Soulful Business Revolution Program which means that I’ve got more time on my hands. I used this time to revisit an old book that I’ve read again and again, Price Pritchett’s You2. — it’s a quick read and so worth the time.

The book reminded me that the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be is to work from the inside out. No doubt, there are things in the physical world that will need to change or to happen, but working from the inside out can allow the external changes to happen with much more ease.

Change starts in the mind and emotions. If you can begin with the end in mind and align your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions with your desired outcomes, you’ll be able to accomplish them.

As Carl Jung said, your unconscious mind must express itself in your environment via people, circumstances, and events. So, if you want to know what your mind believes to be true, take a look around because your environment is showing it to you 24/7/365. If you like what you notice, keep going. If you want to see something even better, then start doing the focus work and take action that aligns with what you want. Your consistent focus will eventually compel your brain to start making the shifts. And the sooner you get your unconscious mind on board, the better.

We tend to get stuck in a loop and spin our wheels because we repeatedly tell ourselves the same ol’ stories. And we keep getting the same outcomes as a result.

It’s time to change the story so that you can get a different outcome. Remember, the unconscious mind communicates through stories, symbols, and it loves repetition.

Maybe you’re skeptical. That’s okay. You can still do the work of thinking about what it would be like to be the receiver of the thing that you want, even if you’re in doubt. Make it a game. By allowing your mind to go to the positive outcome, you’re giving your unconscious mind the tools it needs to get you there.

Consider this: What if your unconscious mind believed what you told it? Wouldn’t you choose to tell it something good?

Well, tell it enough times with conviction, and it will believe you. Give it a try.

I invite you to step into your power, into your worthiness. Create your reality by first creating it in your mind. Make it fun. Dream big and let yourself feel the goodness of your dreams becoming your reality. Stay in that state as frequently and for as long as you can. Then watch what happens.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• You2 by Price Pritchett

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I’ve been studying self-development since learning English as a kid. But I have memories, even as a young girl, of being mesmerized by Gloria Steinem’s inspiring messages, seeing her on Mexican TV, as her words were translated into Spanish.

As an adult, my love of self-development led me to breathwork, meditation, books, fitness, and eventually to NLP, and then to coaching others. Over the years, I’ve evolved and have discovered my why for being here and doing what I do. It’s what lights me up and gives my life meaning.

I haven’t always known my purpose, even though I experienced success in many areas. There was a time when I felt like I had arrived. I was living in a 5,000 square-foot home — just me and my two boys, working long hours, and collecting a lot of things. But I was lacking real purpose and meaning.

My purpose has revealed itself as I’ve been on my journey. I have evolved and so have my programs and services.

I’ve become bolder, more true to myself. Some of the clients that I had a couple of years ago wouldn’t be my clients today. And that’s okay. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, there are many ways to get to where you want to go. I’m embracing the methods that have worked for my clients and me. And I’m going all-in.

I realize that I can’t make anything happen for anyone. But I can provide you with resources, a blueprint for success, and support so that you can make things happen for yourself. That’s why I offer multiple layers of resources for you to access at whatever level you’re ready for. There’s this podcast, the free Facebook Community, our Revolution Program, and one-on-one coaching. Each layer is available for you when you’re ready for it.

And I’m right there, doing the work with you so that I’m serving as a model. This allows me to live with purpose and from a place of integrity and authenticity.

“Well, this sounds great, but what if I don’t know what my purpose is?”

That’s okay! I didn’t know for a long time either. I suggest you work from where you are. Maybe you don’t know what your purpose is, but you know what it’s not. In that case, focus on what it would feel like to be living from your purpose if you knew what it was. In time, with focus work, your purpose will come to you.

The work that you’ll find in my programs requires time and effort. But the overall intention is to make everything easier, more in sync and save you so much time — because you’ll be pointed in the right direction — your direction. In the direction of your why.

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Why do negative emotions stick around longer than positive ones?

It’s because we’re wired with a negativity bias. It’s nature’s way of keeping us safe. But it doesn’t feel good.

Negative emotions have a way of spiraling into more than just negative feelings. What may start out as a negative emotion can lead to a limiting belief, an away-from orientation, negative outcomes, fewer resources, and even a general place of disempowerment that doesn’t feel good.

Don’t get the idea that negative emotions are useless — they’re not! In fact, they’re a valuable form of communication from your unconscious mind. And when handled effectively, they can, in a roundabout way, help reorient you in a better direction.

While your life is an emotional and spiritual journey, we usually have to take action to feel better.

• Recognize that emotions — negative and positive ones — are going to happen. Emotions are part of being human.
• Try to observe your emotions at a distance. It may help to imagine that you’re floating above the event or watching it on a movie screen.
• Identify the emotions. Writing them down may help.
• Acknowledge and take ownership of your emotions. This is especially important if other people are involved. Someone else may have done something, but the emotions are yours. Own them.
• Take responsibility for what you feel.
• Honor the emotions as communication from your unconscious mind.
• Explore, "What is this telling me? What is this alluding to? What’s the evidence here that supports the emotion?"
• Then explore, "So this is what I'm feeling. What would make it better?” And believe that better is possible.
• Interrupt the pattern of negative emotions with thinking, “reject-delete,” dancing, reciting a mantra like “this too shall pass,” jumping jacks — whatever gets you in a good mood.
• After the negative emotion has passed, identify the trigger.
• Then focus on intentionally and consistently creating positive states. This will put you at cause.

The purpose of all this is to help you feel better. Because when you can feel better, you can do better.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies!

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Some people are into hobbies like writing, painting, music, or fitness.

Me? I’m into self-improvement. Self-improvement is my thing, and it’s been my jam for a long time. As a teenager, I read self-help books for fun. I even put myself in therapy when I was 17. My mom found out when she got a call from Kaiser. So, yeah, that was me, feeling the desire, even as a teen, to gather as many tools and resources as possible to better myself and my life.

You might not be a self-development junkie to the extent that I am, but virtually everyone in my space is here because they want to realize something in their life that’s not yet present.

And if you’ve been in my space for a while, you know that I preach doing the work. The work involves focusing on what you want so that you can enlist your unconscious mind in the process of manifesting your dreams.

If you’ve been doing that, and you’re still waiting to see the fruits of your focus, this episode is for you.

Doing the work and waiting for results can be frustrating. In a recent Soulful Business Revolution session, one client arrived feeling very frustrated. She made it known that she was tired of “doing the work” and not seeing the results. Most of us could relate. And it makes sense on account of quick-fix promises everywhere we turn.

But there’s a vital component of “doing the work” that we can’t skip. For your unconscious mind to align with your conscious desires, you need to align with the energetic qualities of what you want to create while doing the work. This means staying in a positive mindset, which makes staying in feel-good and empowering states so very important.

When you think about your goal, if you feel upset or annoyed that it’s not here yet, your unconscious mind links your “not here” thoughts and feelings with your desired goal and the waiting period is just going to take longer, which then perpetuates the “not here” essence. The big problem is that at some point, your unconscious mind can absolutely generalize the association of “not here” with all of your desired outcomes, and before you know it, “not here” can easily become the norm.

Another client proposed a beautiful reframe for this situation. The work and the waiting time are creating space for what’s to come. That reframe can shift feelings of impatience and a sense of lack to anticipation and excitement.

Think of your waiting time like building a nest. There’s work to do, but it’s all in anticipation and expectation of the beautiful life that’s to come. Think of the “creating space” time like making preparations for a welcomed guest. The preparations you’re making create a positive sense of anticipation and expectation.

Positive feelings about your goals are what prepares you to receive the fruits of your desires. So being keenly aware of your state is crucial. It’s one of the most important things you can do to achieve the outcomes you want.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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• Soulful Business with NLP Facebook Community

Links from today’s episode:

• Take on Sales with Brenda and Maxine -- new podcast coming soon!
• Check out our freebies for ways to help manage your state

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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There’s a powerful tool in NLP called the negotiation model. The idea — it’s easier to reach an agreement the more ambiguous the concept up for debate is - think of something like “dinner”, chances are everyone in your family can agree that having dinner is a good thing. . Get more specific about what’s for dinner, and it’s harder to reach a consensus.

The goal of the negotiation model is to reach agreement with as much specificity as possible. When there’s disagreement, the model says to scale back to something a little more ambiguous until you reach agreement.

In today’s episode, we focus on using the negotiation model to reach agreement between your conscious and unconscious minds.

Goals and plans originate in the conscious mind, but it’s the conscious and unconscious minds working together that bring those plans to fruition. If you’re not living your conscious goals and dreams, your unconscious mind isn’t completely on board. And the way you know is that the unconscious mind, by need, will express itself in your environment, circumstances, and events. So, it’s always telling you what your current agreements are.

Your life experience is your unconscious mind showing you how you’re doing on the inside.

The million-dollar question is, how can we get the unconscious mind to embrace conscious goals, plans, and desires?

Use the negotiation model. Here’s how…

Remember that logic and reason is in the domain of the conscious mind, and the unconscious mind communicates through emotions, symbols, metaphors, and stories.

If making specific plans leaves you feeling anxious and uneasy, your unconscious mind is resistant to those plans at that level of specificity. To gain agreement, shift to more ambiguity.

Here’s how…

Ask, “What’s the achievement of my goal going to do for me?” Sit with that for a while, and if it feels too far-fetched, go to another level of ambiguity by asking another question, “What would the achievement of my goal make me feel?”

Your work is to stay in the good-feeling space long enough to go back to more specificity and again ask “What’s the achievement of my goal going to do for me?”. You then stay in specificity for as long as it feels good, and go up to ambiguity to feel better, and so on. Before you know it opportunities and resources will make an entrance and achieving your goals will follow.

And this, my friend, is the work you’ve heard me talk about so many times. This is it. It’s getting the unconscious and conscious minds into agreement through focus and visualization. Do this three times a day for 10 minutes at a time, and your life will change.

It’s not easy. One client calls it reframe hell because it takes conscious effort and focus. But it’s powerful and effective. And with your unconscious mind on board, you can truly achieve what you consciously want.

Thanks for listening!

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Recently, I surveyed 40 people, and every one of them cringed when we talked about sales and money.

These are people who are interested in growing a business — why would they have such a reaction? Business owners need sales to make money and money makes a business a business.

NLP teaches that the unconscious mind is “a highly moral being,” meaning it upholds beliefs. And the morality your unconscious mind works so hard to uphold is the one that you’ve taught it through your beliefs. The problem is that many of us have deeply rooted, limiting beliefs like…

• “Money is hard to come by.”
• “I never have enough.”
• “Selling feels icky.”

And your unconscious mind is doing the work to uphold those beliefs and giving you the real-life manifestation of them in your world. The result is that you’re living the essence of your beliefs. If your beliefs are positive and lead to you having what you want, then that’s fantastic. If they don’t, it’s time to get to work and teach your unconscious mind what you want instead.

In business, things can get sticky because your unconscious mind has also adopted some ideas about selling.

• “Salespeople are sleazy.”
• “Salespeople are pushy.”
• “Selling is greedy.”

To effectively sell and grow your business, you’ve got to get your unconscious mind on board with an improved morality (mindset) about selling.

Here are 3 powerful ways to start making that shift:

• Learn to sell with congruence, integrity, and ecology — meaning it’s good for you, good for the other person, and good for others impacted by the transaction.
• Practice selling. Find someone you trust and practice role-playing. I know this can feel uncomfortable, but the more you practice, the more your unconscious mind will get on board. Remember, the unconscious mind loves repetition.
• Allow yourself to be on the receiving end of sales conversations. A good salesperson can be sold to. This might seem counterintuitive. Don’t they know the tricks of the trade? Sure, but more importantly, a good salesperson is open and understands win-wins.

In today’s episode, you’ll hear about the time I wanted to buy a bottle of fancy olive oil and walked out with four bottles of different types of oils and vinegar. The salesperson sold me on them. Was I a sucker? Hardly! My family gobbled up the salad I made for them. I won big, just like the store owner. Sure, I didn’t walk into the store intending to purchase four bottles, but I was open. And in the end, I made a fabulous choice for myself and my family. And, of course, the seller was happy too. We all won.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• The episode on Imposter Syndrome

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For the last week or so, I’ve been reflecting on my first job at age 16. I got a job at Carl’s Jr. (a fast food restaurant) to carry customers’ trays from the counter to their tables. I also made sure the dining room was tidy and kept an eye on the stock levels of the ketchup packets and napkins.

I wanted to do the best job I possibly could.

Before long, I took care of the customers in the entire large dining room on my own — and got tips! Have you ever seen someone tip a fast-food restaurant worker? Well, it happened to me, and it happened often

I didn’t hover around the customers, but I kept an eye on things. I was looking for what I needed to do as well as what I could do. I was looking for ways to create a more enjoyable dining experience. People noticed, and they rewarded me with cash tips that lined my pockets.

I’ve carried that same servicial (Spanish for helpful) spirit into my work today. It’s just part of who I am. And that spirit helps me stay in rapport with my clients.

What’s rapport? It’s the process of matching and mirroring another person until the process becomes unconscious, and then BAM! You're in rapport with your person. And when you’re in rapport with another human, it’s natural to feel at ease, to relax, and feel wonderful in their company, and they in yours.

A few NLP principles are particularly helpful in aiding my ability to be in and maintain rapport with my clients:

• Perception is projection.
• Everyone is doing the best they can.
• The meaning of communication is the response you get.
• The map is not the territory.

Blend these principles together, and you have a recipe for seeing yourself in your clients, accepting them, and genuinely desiring to be of service to them.

You’ll be able to…

• Care deeply about who you serve and hold onto the vision of the thing they’re wanting.
• Establish rapport in easy and effortless ways.
• Get plugged into their vision of their future.
• Check-in with them regularly in an authentic way.

All of this translates into genuine care and concern for your clients. Once you cultivate this spirit, it won’t even feel like work. There’s no better way to effortlessly retain your clients.

Thanks for listening!

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• Leave a note in the comment section below
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When people join my 12-month mentorship and coaching program, they have a goal or dream in mind. They know what they want, and they join to get help to take them there. They come excited, ready, and willing to do the work to bring their dreams to life.

A principle in NLP is ‘the map is not the territory,” meaning that while we can agree that reality exists, our individual version of reality is subjective and will never ever be the same as someone else's.

Have you ever heard someone say, “That’s the truth?”, based on the principle that the map is not the territory, the truth, is really their truth. Each person’s perspective of that reality is unique based on internal filters dictated by their beliefs, values, memories, emotions, and experiences.

This makes their truth feel very real.

Just as we can change the filters of a Google map to see the street, satellite, or terrain view, our internal “map” acts like a filter. We don’t see the whole picture. The whole picture would be all of reality. But our filters keep us from seeing reality in its entirety. Our “map” is only part of the story.

Just like a Google Map, we can change the view of our internal “maps.”

What does this have to do with growing your business and personal development?

Your map needs to expand.

I’ve learned the hard way that the best way to expand beyond our current “map,” or comfort zone, is to align the unconscious mind with the conscious desires through positive, toward language and by focusing on the essence of what you want.

Transitioning from here to there can be an uncomfortable process, but it doesn’t have to be painful. Change can be uncomfortable and exhilarating, inspiring, motivating, and fulfilling — all at the same time.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Change is hard, no matter its source. Some types are harder than others. And all types can be life-changing in a positive way.

I see three types of change in my clients:

1. You’re starting something new. You’re ready to start that business or embrace a new career or leave your comfortable gig for something else. This type of change involves leaving the Comfort Zone and creating new neural pathways that will support your success. It takes effort.
2. You’re in a phase of growth. You’re accumulating tools and resources to grow personally and professionally. You’re in the Growth Zone. You already have the neurology to go after your goals. You’re building on top of your previous successes -- enriching your relationships, getting to a new level of physical health and strength, taking your business to the next level. When you’re in this phase of change, it’s self-initiated. You choose to grow. You choose to change.
3. You’re forced to change. This is turbulent change. Life happened and you were, to some degree, caught off-guard. Divorce, a death, loss of a job, a breakup, a tragic accident... You didn’t choose this path of change. Life forced it on you. And you’re likely in survival mode. You’re in the Danger Zone. It’s a difficult place to be. But don’t despair. Turbulent change can lead to wonderful personal transformation, and you can get momentum that can propel you to a better place, built on a new, better foundation, one that is aligned with your values and beliefs.

How to make the most out of changework, no matter the source?

• Start right where you are and acknowledge all the scary unknowns. I don’t typically advocate penning down scary stuff because we want to focus on the positive. But there’s a place for acknowledging and even writing down the worst thing that could happen, look at it squarely in the face, and determine if it’s something likely to happen, possibly could happen, or is unlikely to happen. Sometimes this simple exercise reduces a threat to something that is extremely unrealistic or even laughable.
• Identify opportunities. What are the potentials and possibilities wrapped up in this change?
• Take a step in the direction you want to go. Take action.

Each win, each success will breed more wins and more success as you build your neural framework. I’m not saying it’s easy. But the steps are simple, and you’re worth it.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone, the Growth Zone, and the Danger Zone
• Episode 16 -- Find the Ten-Step Problem-Solving Formula

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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I look to the people in my space — private clients, those in the Soulful Business Revolution program, and those in the private Facebook group — for inspiration before I recorded this podcast. One thing that’s been coming up lately is the concept of balance. And, wow, we can really be hard on ourselves when we feel like we’re missing the mark.

I believe that the best way to view “balance” is to see it as a concept to aim for because perfect balance doesn’t exist in real life. Our lives are in a constant state of flux and change, and so the balance point is always shifting and moving.

But, believe me, balance is a concept worth striving for. Maybe you’ve heard me say that the balance between doing and being leads to your having.

That bears repeating — the balance between doing and being leads to your having.

I’ve observed that most of us tend to favor one side or the other — doing or being. Some of us do, do, do, do, and we don’t focus on being enough. We’re caught up in doing all the things and trying to do them perfectly. Our focus is all over the place, and it’s easy to fall into confusion and overwhelm. We feel a need to control everything and for things to be just so, and when things don’t work out, we often feel disappointed, resentful, and angry.

Then there are those of us who favor the being side. We focus on the internal so much that the external falls by the wayside. This leads to lethargy, a lack of movement, and avoidance. And we end up feeling stuck.

Whether you’re too much on the doing or the being side, you’re at effect. Somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot where we have internal processing with an external check.

Finding the theoretical balance — let’s just call it the intention of balance — begins with awareness. You’ll feel most balanced when you...

• Have intentions and goals that are worthy of you and what you want
• Set ecological outcomes that align with who you are
• Focus on what you want
• Manage your state
• Use positive, toward language

In the process, give yourself grace and take action. Slow down and recenter when you need to. When you feel re-aligned, get back to the doing. The dance of being and doing will lead to the outcomes you desire.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 32 — the Truth about Overwhelm
• Learn about direction filters from Episode 4

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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My life and business are about achieving outcomes — in my life and the lives of my students and clients. I’ve discovered some patterns related to the way we go about transforming our lives and pursuing outcomes.

These are observations from my life and those in my space, so we’re talking about a group of go-getters who desire personal growth and transformation. These are people with goals, ambitions, and a desire for excellence.

Spoiler alert: You can achieve success and positive outcomes with all of the following combinations, but the winning combination is the one that feels the best in the pursuit of the goal, the one that allows for sustained success — is the last one.

Combination #1: You believe you’re special, magnificent, and worthy — which is great. But instead of taking action and doing the things that align with what you want, you’re waiting for the universe to manifest success for you. You may be waiting for signs that the time is right. This results in a lot of positive thinking but very little doing. There’s a lack of energy and movement and no momentum.

Combination #2: You do all the things, and you want to do them perfectly. But you don’t yet believe in yourself. You’re doing things because someone told you they’d work. You’ve been educated about the “winning strategy,” and you’re ready to execute, following the protocol to a T — but you’re in self-doubt and uncertainty. The work feels mechanical, you get bogged down in the weeds, and then you find yourself in analysis paralysis, unable to complete what you started. You feel too exhausted to break out of your comfort zone.

Both Combination #1 and #2 leave you in self-doubt, uncertainty and can lead to fear, feelings of imposter syndrome, and mediocre results that are lackluster and not very satisfying.

Combination #3 (aka the winning combination): You start by believing in yourself and your magnificence and worthiness. Your belief in yourself is the foundation. Then you take intentional — almost methodical action. The winning combination involves gathering the internal and external resources you need and aligning those resources with the outcomes you want. Then the results will come on their own — especially if you adopt the following formula to turbocharge your pursuits.

• Have a pursuit that’s worthy of who you are
• Be willing to do the hard stuff
• Be willing to be unreasonable when it comes to achieving your goals
• Be willing to learn new things
• Be consistent

These will keep you feeling fueled and energetic in whatever you pursue.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Books by Wayne Dyer

• Women Who Love Too Much

• Reviving Ophelia

• MR E001 — We learned about the brain’s filtering process

• MR E002 — The Power of Perception
• MR E031 — The Narrow Raod to Achieving Excellence

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Magic bullet promises are everywhere – on your phone, your desktop, and your television. Everywhere you look there’s an offer of an easy fix to lifelong problems. While the promise is alluring, we have to dig deeper to find the evidence of true results. We’re bombarded with quick-fix messages that tell us that…

• if you do this one thing, you're going to have this amazing result
• one email can absolutely dramatically shift your business
• one Facebook Live is going to get a bunch of people to enroll in your program
• if you follow this eating plan for a week, you'll drop 30 pounds
• if you take that this pill, everything you want is going to be in your experience
• if you follow this advice, it’ll solve all your problems

So many promises, but it never really pans out that way, does it? Magic bullets may sell, but they don’t do much else besides leave us disappointed and looking for someone or something to blame for unfulfilled expectations.

I’ve bought plenty of programs, taken courses, and read books, and while some did provide a piece of the overall puzzle, they certainly didn’t offer an enduring solution.

The danger of the magic bullet mindset is those unrealistic expectations, when unfulfilled, leave us feeling stuck because, after all, this was supposed to be quick and easy, right? When reality sets in and we find that creating change is downright difficult, we feel overwhelmed, like we’re failures.

The winning formula for success is focusing on what you want and doing the work. For my clients and students, that means showing up for our sessions and staying accountable to tasks at hand. It means intentionally reprogramming the nervous system to believe in your capacity for magnificence. It means learning from others who have gone before you. It means taking action that aligns with their goals.

And it means doing the heavy lifting of being consistent and disciplined in staying focused and doing the work. That is where the magic of personal evolution happens.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• The 10-Step Problem-Solving Formula and other Freebies

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Part of your brain’s job is to keep you safe. One way your brain attempts to keep you safe is by alerting you to threats and dangers through a strong emotion — fear.

It’s important to remember that fear and danger are two different things.

Just because we feel fear doesn’t mean there is an inherent threat or we’re in imminent danger. Many times — a threat is perceived but not at all real.

And sometimes, what feels like fear is really just the discomfort we feel from pushing against our comfort zone’s boundaries. Anything new, anything we’re unaccustomed to doing, will feel uncomfortable and scary at first.

Don’t get me wrong. Fear isn’t the bad guy here.

Fear serves an essential purpose of alerting us to dangers and threats. It also alerts us to where there’s a difference taking place. Doing something different — even if it feels amazing and is a step in the direction of a big goal — can send signals of danger to the body. “Be careful! This is different and unfamiliar!”

Bottom line: We need to manage fear.

When you feel fear…

• Backtrack, if necessary, to identify the source of the fear.
• Determine whether the fear is real or just a perception.
• Remind yourself that your growth is inevitable and that you can choose how you grow and comfortably manage the growth process.
• Commit to the growth you’re seeking.
• Do as much as you can to move forward — and then do just a little bit more.
• Focus on the long-term benefits of what you want.

This episode is about carrying on in the face of fear. We cover perceived fears and significant emotional events. You’ll also hear me share a story about my dog, Gunner, and how a scary experience I had with him bled over into other areas of my life. Of course, you’ll also learn how I processed and moved past it.

Yes, I still have fears. It’s part of being human. The important thing is that we don’t make decisions from a place of fear. It takes awareness and processing. You can do it, and I’ll show you how!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution Episode 17 — The Ripple Effect of Significant Emotional Events
• Mind Revolution Episode 103 — How you Know IT is Happening

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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If you’re like most listeners, you’re on a self-development journey. Perhaps you have a big, juicy goal or dream you want to realize. And you’re doing the work to achieve it.

A student asked me recently, “Does ‘doing the work’ mean a lot of paperwork?”

No.

‘Doing the work’ focuses on what you want, saying it the way you want it, taking action that aligns with your goals, staying consistent, walking that narrow path to your excellence, and doing it consistently.

That is ‘doing the work.’

Until the unconscious mind gets on board, it takes a lot of conscious effort to make changes.

And it’s not unusual for my clients and students to do the work for a while and then begin to wonder, “Where’s my big, juicy goal? When will it happen?”

I’ve seen many transformation journeys, and I’ve observed patterns that serve as indicators that transformation is indeed happening and that you’re getting closer to your big goal. Here’s what you can expect on your way to realizing your big dream.

• You’re going to feel better. You will feel calmer. What used to upset you won’t bother you so much.
• You’ll find that you’re more patient with yourself and with others.
• You’ll take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, language, and behavior.
• You’ll be able to communicate with others in healthier ways.
• People will want to be around you more. Since you recognize what you can and can’t control, you’ll be less stressed out and more enjoyable to be around.
• You will be kinder and more gentle with yourself.
• You will begin to value yourself.
• Random good things will happen to you — like unexpected money, job opportunities, getting a great deal, stumbling upon something new that makes you happy.
• Life gets easier in general. Ideas and resources come into your life in seemingly effortless ways.
• You will get more yeses than no’s.

This is the pattern I’ve seen over and over again. Once the above have transpired, your big goal or dream is right around the corner. The challenge will be to allow your vision to unfold in the highest way possible.

My advice to you: Keep doing the work because IT is happening!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
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Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution Episode 1, Your Magnificent Mind — learn about the 50-60 bits of information
• Mind Revolution Episode 3, The Power of Perception
• Mind Revolution Episode, 4 Things You Can Control

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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A while back, I wanted to get a Ph.D. in psychology. I didn’t have a bachelor’s degree, so it was going to take a while. So Ron asked, “Why don’t you learn how to do something else where you can help people?”

Then I remembered that my Ph.D. therapist had decided to become a life coach; I trained as a life coach in 2006 to better serve my real estate clients (weird, I know, but it worked!). At that time, I discovered a thing called “NLP.” As I read more, I felt intrigued and a little apprehensive, so I let the thought of learning more about it fade into the background in my mind.

Later in 2009, I took a teaser course on NLP and loved it, but still, let it fade into the background… It wasn’t until I met an actual NLP coach that I got curious enough to give serious consideration to the NLP side of things, and I decided to get trained in NLP… and the rest is history. Here I am today as a master coach and trainer.

This podcast is like an open book of someone (me) who has taken their successful one-on-one, belly-to-belly coaching business and moved it into an online group setting. I’m sharing what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. You can learn right along with me what works and what doesn’t. Welcome to my what-you-see-is-what-you-get world where you see the real me in action.

As my students hear me say regularly, I’m right here doing the work with you.

Today, we’re talking about three superpowers you have right now that can be harnessed for your success. The beauty of these three is that the first superpower naturally unfolds into the second, which leads to the third. It’s like a cascade. But it all starts with this first superpower:

1. Your mindset. This includes your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and attitudes. Working on my mindset is the most important thing in my life. Of course, I love my kids, Ron, and my work. But my mindset affects every single aspect of my life. It can make everything else wonderfully wonderful or wonderfully dreadful. Your mindset is the genie in the bottle that you’ve been wishing for. It just needs to be tended and managed.
2. Trust. Trust is a superpower that will naturally flow from a positive mindset. When you know that you’ll get what you focus on, that will naturally lead to trust. When you have cultivated a positive, at-cause mindset, you can trust that things will work out for you.
3. Being authentically you. Being your true self will naturally follow once you have the mindset and trust. When you have the mindset and you can trust, it’s no longer scary to be vulnerable. You can own your imperfections and share what you’re learning. Being authentic is not a license to vent. It’s an act of service, and it empowers others to be themselves as well.

I don’t have the words to explain how big these superpowers can be. Cultivate your mindset and see where it leads. Your mindset spills into trust and then moves you to be your beautiful, authentic self — and then that will have a trickle-down effect on others.

Embrace your superpowers. They’re already within you!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 40, the Imposter Syndrome episode

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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When I set my mind on something, I go out and make it happen. I feel quite successful, and then I do it again. I did this with my real estate business and my one-on-one NLP breakthrough coaching.

Then, something happened.

I found myself feeling this undeniable urge to make a greater impact and reach a larger number of people. So I decided to take my in-person business online.

Only I didn’t know the online space. As far as the nuts of bolts of making this online business thing work, I was starting from scratch.

It looked easy enough, though. If I got a website up, people would start flocking to it and I’d book clients right there on my website, right?

Well, that wasn’t my experience — at all. Hardly anyone noticed my website at first.

The high-rollers, and online business big-names, those who have been hugely successful online, make it look easy because they’ve already put in the time to figure out the nuts and bolts.

But when you’re just starting, not only do you not know the nuts and bolts, you don’t have the neurological container for this new phase. No “blueprint” or “strategy” is going to build the neurological container for you.

This is why when you hear about overnight success — it’s seldom truly that. The difficult ground-breaking work happens when no one else is looking.

So, what do you do when you’re craving more soul-filling work that requires a new container?

Here are three mindset shifts to get started:

1. Recognize that success takes time.
2. Build your neurological container by working on your mindset — a mindset that you’re able to learn what you need to know, that you can be consistent, successful, and you have something of value to share.
3. Be prepared to deal with the neurological boundary of your comfort zone. When you’re about to break out of where you’ve been, it’s going to feel difficult and uncomfortable (this is a good thing!)

When my students talk about how challenging and long the road to success can be, I reply, “And so what?”. This is a good time to acknowledge that Yes, it’s hard, and ask yourself, how much you want this thing you want.

I don’t mean to sound unkind, I just want to shake them up a bit. I want my students to look at all that happens along the way to their success. You get to work at something you love and believe in. You become a better version of yourself. And you and your dreams are worth it.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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This marks my 100th podcast episode, and I’m having all the feels -- of satisfaction, accomplishment, joy, fulfillment...and I’m grateful that you are here, and I’m thankful for each of you who have been part of this fabulous journey with me.

I had been putting off recording this episode for a while, and it was beginning to feel like I was stalling. I knew that I wanted it to be about lessons I had learned from recording 100 episodes, but I wasn’t sure of the direction I wanted to take.

That became clear when I was talking to one of my clients. She was anticipating her third breakthrough with me. Her first breakthrough was around her business, the second around her health, and we were discussing where her third would take her.

As we were looking back at how far she’s come and all the lessons learned... the outline for this episode became clear.

I’ve got seven life lessons I’ve learned from recording 100 podcast episodes. They’re my lessons, and I share them with you so that you can benefit from them too. Here we go.

1. Accomplishing your big goals won’t be as easy as it seems. When you see something outside of yourself, you’re seeing the end result of a lot of previously done work.

2. Accomplishing your big goals is going to take more effort than you think. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re not aware of this, when the going gets tough, it can send you into disappointment, feelings of unworthiness, and avoidance strategies. The truth is that all great things usually require more effort than you think. And it’s worth it. Because all the effort you put in will leave you with a deeper belief in yourself.

3. Speak your mind and your heart. When you’re producing a weekly podcast, what’s inside is going to come out. This isn’t about speaking your truth just to vent. No, it’s about your authenticity shining through. It’s giving the world the gift of you without expecting anything in return.

4. You embody the work. When you’re teaching your philosophy over and over again, it gets ingrained in your very being in a new way. I am embodying and living the work like I never have before. And it feels great.

5. Your effort reaps big, beautiful rewards. Among other things, I have been rewarded with a deeper commitment, more meaning and purpose, consistency (my new best friend), and embracing visibility.

6. You’re always making an impact. Even when you don’t realize it, if you’re showing up, you’re making an impact. Sometimes people give you feedback, and it’s wonderful to hear the positive ways you’re helping others. But they don’t always tell you. Don’t let that deter you. You’re having an impact even when you can’t see it.

7. It’s all worth it. Commit to getting to your version of “there” and keep going until you get there.. The journey and the transformation along the way are worth it.

I hope these life lessons speak to you and inspire you to take on your journey and to keep showing up. You’re worth it. Your future self will thank you. And your impact will be greater than you can know.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 16: What you do is not who you are

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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My mom is here visiting me this week. We were sitting out back together enjoying a glass of wine, and she said to me, “I think you finally found it. I think you finally found your calling.”

She, of all people, knows how long I spent trying to figure out my path. And she’s right — I’ve found it!

Actually, I knew this was my calling since I was in my 30’s, but I wasn’t ready to go for because I hadn’t yet done the internal work. The last 5 years, however, have been the most fulfilling. And it’s all because I’ve been doing the work.

You see, my identity, who I am, hasn’t changed. It’s just that what I do and how I live my life has become more congruent with who I am and how I want to show up in the world. Notice I said “more congruent,” not perfectly congruent. I’m human too. And this path I’m on is a journey. There will always be more to learn.

When our experience doesn’t reflect what we want, our negativity bias can take over and skew our perception of reality and feed illusions we have about ourselves, making us feel deficient and wanting to hide.

But the truth is that you have everything you need to become who you really are — the you at your core — which is nothing but pure, positive beauty, love, prosperity, and abundance.

And yet, even though we have everything inside, sometimes we feel tentative about stepping out there and showing up.

Here’s a simple 4-step process to support you in embracing your identity, increasing your visibility, and showing up for your audience.

1. Embrace visibility and show up for the world. As you do, you’ll gradually (or quickly) get out of your head and step into your true, congruent self.
   • What do I have to learn?
   • What limiting beliefs do I need to eliminate?
   • What can I embrace instead?
2. Do the work of dealing with questions like…
3. Align your energy with the results you want. This process is about embodying the future you. How does your ideal self act in the world?
4. Stick with the process. There’s no such thing as perfection here. The only perfect thing in the process is who you are at your core. You’re on a journey, forever evolving and growing into who you truly are.

Along the way, treat yourself the way you want to your clients or your students or your children to treat themselves — with kindness. Be a model for them. Do the work and be kind to yourself at the same time.

And no matter where you are on the visibility spectrum, whether you have a huge following or you’re “just” living your life in front of your family and close friends, people are already watching. And you’re making a difference. So show up with your purpose in hand, holding it in your heart.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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NLP is all about learning how to control your state intentionally. The tricky thing about negative emotions is that they’re more automatic and more powerful than positive ones, so we have to work more to get into and maintain positive states.

Just like a puppy, the unconscious mind requires training.

One of my clients had a breakthrough recently. She’d been “doing the work,” which involves focusing on what she wants, listening to hypnosis to stay relaxed, paying close attention to her current state, and intentionally making shifts when she wasn’t feeling so great.

She had a couple of weeks where she was just on fire — lots of energy, positivity, and fresh ideas. She felt great! Then, suddenly, she hit a slump.

She was feeling overwhelmed (a negative state) and wasn’t making the time for hypnosis. And then she had an in-your-face manifestation of her state — and it wasn’t pretty. She was convinced it came out of nowhere.

But it didn’t.

By the time you notice yourself feeling “off,” you’ve been off for a while.

And unless you can nip that negative state in the bud, your unconscious mind, because it loves to generalize and “cross-pollinate” from one sector of your life to the other, that negative state is will only multiply.

The unconscious mind’s cross-contextual nature explains why we shouldn’t view our lives’ different compartments in a vacuum.

Your relationships can and do impact your health. And your health can and does impact your business. And your business can and does impact your relationships.

Good news — when you gain ground in a seemingly isolated area, it will spill over into other areas as well. This is why when you work to improve your health, your business has a better chance to thrive, and when you intentionally focus on improving your relationships, your body can feel better and more energized.

And what does all of this have to do with managing your state? Because if you can manage your state, you're going to be able to manage your outcomes.

Here’s how to manage your state, even when you’re feeling short on time:

• Be aware of your state. How do you feel in your body? Does it feel good? Stay on high alert so that you catch negative states in their early stages.
• When you’re in a negative state, do some reverse engineering to determine where things took a negative turn. It will usually be something subtle.
• Begin to reframe and focus on the next best thing that you could feel. For instance, if you’re in disappointment, shifting to joy might be too big a leap. The next best thing might be feeling a sense of ease or relief. Once you’re there, feeling at ease, investigate what would be the next-best thing you could feel. And go from there.

The golden nugget in all of this is to manage your state preemptively. Be in tune with yourself and be aware so that you can make those small yet significant shifts along the way.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution Episode “5 Daily Practices for Making it a Great Day”

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Today’s episode is about that voice in your head. The one that second guesses your actions, that says you’re not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?”

That voice is your inner critic.

If you have one — you’re not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program...and it felt like a flop because it didn’t reach my expectations. Now, it wasn’t completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for.

And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.

What’s interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too.

What is the inner critic anyway?

NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts. These are parts of your unconscious mind that don’t realize they’re parts of the larger whole of your consciousness. These parts have their own values, their own sets of beliefs, and their own personalities. And when they get triggered, it feels like something awful’s got a hold of you and you can’t get away for its grip.

I believe inner critics are just that — a part.

From my own experiences and my clients’ experiences, I’ve learned that it’s helpful to view the inner critic like a child. It’s like a child who’s grown up in a sheltered environment and is sorely lacking in information and experience.

Your job is to educate your inner critic, to educate this “child” who doesn’t know any better.

I prefer to educate with the “feedback sandwich” method. It looks like this: a hug, followed by a punch, and finished with a hug.

• Acknowledge the inner critic’s good intention. Inner critics show up to keep us in line (according to their perceptions) and are only trying to protect you. Thank them for that good intention.
• Then explain that you’ve learned some things your inner critic doesn’t know yet. For instance, you’re deserving of all good things, and you have the resources you need to achieve your goals.
• Invite the part, the inner critic, to learn these new truths and to come play with the whole of you in this bigger playground, bringing with it that positive intention while expanding its knowledge base.

When you can become aware of when the inner critic rears its head and begin to re-educate it, beautiful things can happen.

Thanks for listening!

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• Check out the 10 Step Problem-Solving Method in our Freebies section

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Any transition can feel hard. You’re out of your regular routine, and you sometimes feel off-kilter as you’re juggling change and having to make decisions that you wouldn’t usually be affected by.

I recently went through such a time. We put our house on the market in the fall of 2020. We had potential buyers in the home, were in and out of escrow three separate times (with the same buyer), thought we might move to Washington state, then decided on a house in Tennessee (and we bought it site unseen). Thank goodness for Zoom! Our realtor helped us find the right home.

We moved on a Friday, and on Saturday, we had a contractor in the house because — well, the house needed some work. Better now than later, right? So things got torn up before they got put back together.

Here we were in a time of instability for months — MONTHS!

Oh, and did I mention that I was in the middle of launching my signature program, restructuring my business, and keeping up with clients? It felt like a crazy time — like I wasn’t on my A-game. We didn’t have a working kitchen for a while, and my eating routine got out of whack, my sleep was off, I found myself at effect in multiple ways.

Spoiler alert: We’re getting back to normal. We love our new house! And Ron and I still love each other, still enjoy spending time together. And the dog — well, he’ll adjust.

But that time of transition taught me some things.

When you’re going through a hard time, okay is more than good enough. In those times, OK is the best that you can do. Really. A principle of NLP is that we’re all doing the best that we can with the resources we have. And if some of your usual resources aren’t there, don’t beat yourself up if your game is off.

Sometimes saying, “I don’t know,” is the best you can do. And that’s good enough.

In times of transition, hold on to the truth that you are wonderful, period. You’re doing the best you can. And that is — it has to be — good enough. Be patient and kind with yourself.

Then, when you feel a positive shift in the amount and quality of resources you have, get back to it.

You’ve got this.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies section
• The Benefits of Taking a Purposeful Pause

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Emotions are in the unconscious mind’s domain — and how you’re feeling is one of the ways your unconscious mind communicates with you.

This is great because we get such good information.

And emotions are powerful. Not only do they tell you how you’re doing, but they can also motivate, propel, and energize, adding fuel behind a particular direction or goal. This is why state management is so important and is such a key component of NLP.

By accepting that all emotions are valid — hey, they’re just your unconscious mind communicating with you — you can learn from them and then move on with more ease. You don’t have to stay in those negative emotions. In fact, you can learn to preemptively manage your state, decreasing your emotional fluctuations. You’ll be more emotionally steady, thus setting the tone for what will most serve you — being calm, steady, and clear-headed.

So, how does this work? Practice the following:

• When you notice a charged emotion, stop and become aware. Try to do this before an emotional state drives you to take any action.
• Employ “reject-delete” or another pattern interrupt
• Ask, “What do I want to feel instead?” and recall a time when you felt the way you want to feel.
• Having a hard time getting there? Play the ABC game (learn more about this in our Freebies section).
• Change your physiology by physically moving around.
• Calm your nervous system and allow that calmness to build.
• Change the quality of your internal representations so that they feel better. I know this is difficult, but keep practicing. It’s worth the effort!

A beautiful thing about these practices is that you can always know if they’re working simply by noticing how you’re feeling, and the things that show up for you.

Once you’re able to control your state, what then?

• Cultivate a sense of fun and curiosity around your dreams and goals.
• Embrace a sense of patience.
• Get into a state of trusting yourself. If you don’t know what that feels like, imagine what it would feel like.
• Cultivate a sense of trusting the people in your world.
• Explore what it would feel like to have compassion.
• Explore what it would feel like to be in a state of certainty.
• Explore what it would feel like to finish what you start and to feel fulfilled and satisfied.

When you practice intentional state management, you’re going to be in charge of your emotions. This is so powerful. Instead of your emotions controlling you, you're going to be able to achieve the things that you want in a big, powerful way.

Let’s cultivate and then harness those feelings to help us get where we want to go.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies section to access the ABC game — and more!

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Do you ever see advertisements that sound something like this, “Join my program and follow my proven formula to achieve a 6-figure income in 12 months!”? Wait a few months, and you might see the same coach upping the promise to a 7-figure income.

Now, strategies are great, and we can learn a lot from following one.

The problem with following someone else’s template is that you don’t have that person’s identical experiences and mindset. What sort of changes have they gone through to get where they are? What have they had to learn about themselves? What beliefs do they have about themselves and others that have led them to where they are today?

If you were to adopt the practices that they have today, now that they’ve achieved success, success is unlikely to come to you because you would be skipping some of the vital, foundational steps that happened in the background. All those invisible changes that the public doesn’t see.

I’m talking about unconscious shifts.

You’ve probably heard me say before that you are living your beliefs. You’re living your beliefs right now. So if you want to change something in your world, your beliefs need to change.

Our beliefs are mostly unconscious, and we’re often unable to achieve our conscious goals because of our unconscious beliefs. Our unconscious beliefs create a sort of invisible ceiling and keep us from achieving what we want.

Have you ever heard someone say, “I seem to hit an invisible ceiling and can’t seem to make more money”?

Here are five steps to help you break through your unconscious success ceiling:

1. Identify your fears. Are you afraid of disappointing others? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Afraid of the changes success would bring? To get to the root of fear, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Then ask, “What else am I afraid of?” two more times and see what comes up.
2. Tap into your purpose. Know the meaning behind the result you seek. For what purpose do you want success? Get to the root of what motivates you. You’ll initially find some negative reasons. But look for the positive aspects by asking, “What is the best thing that can come as a result of my success?” and then focus on that.
3. Cultivate a positive network. Your current environment is supporting your current outcomes. Change your environment to change your outcomes. Be selective about the shows you watch. Be selective about the conversations you have. Be selective with the company you keep.
4. Believe that you will achieve your outcomes. Have big, bold, powerful expectations. Work to change the beliefs that don’t serve you.
5. Identify ways you’re self-sabotaging. Are you engaging in thinking or behavior that contradicts your desired outcomes? Call yourself out on those things and do the opposite.

Remember that the journey toward success is mostly an unconscious one. With some focus and a supportive community, you can create lasting success in a satisfying way!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• The Ten-Step Problem Solving Formula -- find it in the Freebies section!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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There’s something you can begin doing to increase your choices and give you more options in life.

It’s simple (not necessarily easy, but you can start now) — it’s to challenge your biases.

We all have beliefs (biases) that we believe. Beliefs are often those things we believe just because — we don’t personally know they’re true, but we believe them to be true. And it’s those beliefs that affect the choices we make and how we live our lives.

Our cognitive biases are unconscious. They’re beliefs that are running in the background of our minds, influencing how we live. Maybe we believe them because we trusted the source of the belief or because of an event or circumstance. To throw fuel on the fire, our unconscious mind filters our experiences and brings to our consciousness experiences that confirm — you guessed it — our biases, further cementing those beliefs.

If you automatically discount the perspective of those who believe differently from you, you’re likely to have a cognitive bias about those specific areas. You may fall prey to cognitive bias if you’re loyal to a particular brand when you haven’t even tried the alternatives.

It’s worth it to challenge your cognitive biases because doing so can open up to you a world of choices.

Explore your cognitive biases, starting with these questions.

• How do I know that what I know is “truth”? Did it come from a trusted caregiver or authority figure? Where am I getting information that confirms the belief?
• What if I’m wrong in my thinking? How might that change things?
• What if I could be thinking something else?
• If I believed the opposite, what would I believe?
• Does having this belief support me in my growth? How does it support my outcomes? Does it support the things that I want?

A helpful exercise is to put yourself in the shoes of someone who holds an opposing view. If you lived their experiences, listened to their news outlets, had their upbringing and their circle of friends, would your perspective be reasonable?

If you’re feeling confused, unsure of what’s true — that’s progress. When you think you know everything, it feels safe, but it’s also limiting. An element of uncertainty, a dose of honesty about how little we actually know for certain, might feel unsettling at first, but it also brings options, freedom, and choices.

I invite you to increase your choices by questioning those unconscious cognitive biases.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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There are lots of NLP practitioners in the world, but few live and breathe NLP like me. Not only have I studied NLP and the work of Carl Jung, Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir, and the other greats, I’ve taken the principles of NLP to heart and have made them the foundation of my life.

I started this podcast right after listening to the podcast of a big NLP “influencer.” I was stunned by some of the things he said. It was clear to me, as someone who had studied and practiced NLP, that he was way off on some things.

This was my fuel to set the record straight and bust some NLP myths:

1. NLP is manipulative.
   Well, sure, it can be. Just like a hammer, NLP is a tool that we can use for good or harm. NLP in the hands of a skilled practitioner who uses it for its intended purpose, will only use it for positive influence. Remember the ecology check? We ask, “Is it good for me? Is it good for those directly involved? Is it good for the community? Is it good for the planet?”
2. NLP doesn’t work. If someone says NLP doesn’t work, they probably haven’t mastered the material. It’s like saying exercise doesn’t work. Learn it, practice it faithfully, and decide for yourself. In my experience, NLP works 100% of the time.
3. You can learn NLP from books. Reading about NLP can only take you so far. NLP takes practice and real-live application. It’s a way of living and viewing the world.
4. NLP is therapy.
   NLP is not therapy, and I am not a therapist. But NLP is therapeutic and can be healing. NLP explains the reasons things are the way they are and using NLP allows shifts to happen at an unconscious level.
5. NLP is spiritual.
   On its own, NLP isn’t a spiritual practice. NLP has its roots in brain science. That said, employing the principles of NLP can lead to deep spiritual transformation.

If you’re interested in incorporating NLP principles and practices into your life, join the free community to embrace the NLP principles and stay on track with a method that will serve you day in and day out, both today and in the days to come.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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I took a break around the holidays and, for a while, I wasn’t sure I was going to return to the podcast.

Spoiler alert: I’m back!

2020 was a beast of a year in its own right. With the pandemic, quarantines, racial and political tensions, it was anything but a “balanced” year. Despite all that, some great things came out of 2020 for me:

• I continued to grow my business in the online space
• I learned new skills to build a thriving community
• I created some content-rich and really helpful courses

The year was challenging — some of it self-imposed and much of it not.

Then we decided to sell our house and move. And, with many big moves, there were some hiccups along the way. Bumps involving water leaks, contracts falling through, and deals suddenly landing on hold. Fun stuff like that.

And by the end of the year, my nervous system was exhausted and craving a break. At that point, I was uncertain about the future of this podcast. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy podcasting. I was just… tired.

So I intentionally took a break, and in doing so, I got some much-needed perspective.

Here’s my 4-step prescription for a purposeful pause:

1. Refresh. I stopped. I gave myself permission to disconnect and do nothing. I took a break. I let go of “have to” thinking. In fact, I emotionally let go of the podcast altogether. I even told a friend that I had recorded the podcast’s final episode, that there probably wouldn’t be another one. And I felt a weight lift from my chest.

2. Restore. After releasing myself from self-imposed obligations, I felt renewed. My energy started coming back.

3. Reassess. At this point, being free of immediate pressure and feeling revitalized, I was able to reconsider what I truly wanted to do and how I wanted to show up for you.

4. Reenergize. Once I got clarity and perspective, I felt energized about the work I love again. I refocused and was ready to get back behind the mic.

One of the learnings from this experience is that I didn’t need to wait to feel tired before taking a purposeful pause. Intentional pauses along the way bring a perspective that helps tweak our path and bring focus to what most lights our fire.

I’m so glad to be back, friends. Let’s rock 2021.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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As we approach the holidays, maybe you’re thinking about the new year’s goals. We all know the life cycle of the typical New Year’s resolutions — start off with a bang, make progress for a few days, and then fall out of sync by February.

Perhaps at this point, you’ll make a few more floundering attempts before finally giving up and deciding, “New Year’s Resolutions don’t work!”

In working with a client recently, we uncovered how she has a pattern of giving up on her goals. She gets going and then unconsciously takes herself out of the game. This is a form of self-sabotage. And once there is a pattern of “failure,” it’s all too easy to assume that failure is a given. We actually develop an expectation of failure on future attempts.

How can we make progress if, unconsciously, we believe we’re going to fail?

Dreams come to us (not the other way around), and they won’t let go until we start taking deliberate action.

Don’t think that your dreams are going to give up on you. They know better!

Why do we turn away from our dreams?

We think it will be too hard or the outcome won’t be worth the effort. Maybe you’ve attempted things in the past that have flopped.

I’ve been there, so I get it. I had a dream of helping people on their personal development journey for years, but I believed I didn’t have enough to offer, so while I toyed with the idea, I didn’t do anything about it because it was scary as hell.

But still, my dream kept me up at night. I finally took action.

Eventually, by aligning my conscious, unconscious, and higher conscious minds, my self-talk turned from “Can I do this?” to “How can I do this?” It was no longer a question of if but how.

And that’s a game-changer perspective because it turns “failure” into feedback and progress. Following my dream became a journey of self-development and learning. The buttercream icing on the red velvet cake is that my business became really successful.

I’m doing what lights my fire and getting paid for it.

It’s worth it to nurture your dreams. They will, in turn, feed you and give you purpose and meaning.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
• Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube

Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution episode, The True Meaning of Happiness
• Check out our freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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This is Thanksgiving week in the US. I love this holiday because it’s a reminder of the abundance we experience every day. But instead of focusing on gratitude for this episode, I want to focus on love.

We have many false concepts about love, concepts handed down to us from others and “affirmed” by our life experience. The ego would have us believe that love comes from others as if it’s outside of ourselves. Many of us grew up believing that love is conditional and is something we need to earn.

If we believe love is something we have to earn, there’s an inherent assumption it can also be lost, withheld, or taken away when we don’t perform or measure up.

And if we believe that we only receive love after doing something “worthy,” there will always be an element of questioning our own worth, which can easily lead to a sense of not-enoughness hanging over us.

This is not love.

Love just is — it’s all around you. It’s there whether you accept it or not, and is unchanging and is always available to you.

Why does having an improved concept of love matter anyway?

Because living in the reality of love as an ever-present force brings peace to the self. When you embrace that love simply is, that it doesn’t have to be earned, you can begin accepting yourself as you are. And when you accept yourself as you are, it’s much easier to accept others as they are. This is the personal freedom we all seek.

See how beautiful and contagious can this be?

If love could speak for itself, what would it say?

Maybe the message would look like this:

Stop it already. You are enough. Give up trying to win love. You already have it. Just be.

Love — or better said, the seeking of it — is behind every intention, every behavior. (This might be difficult to believe at first glance, but dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that it’s true.)

Look beyond your perceived limitations. You are capable of anything you want to achieve.

Love is always present.

Love does not judge.

Love is patient.

Happy Thanksgiving, with much love.

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If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about goals and achieving outcomes. Why do we focus on those things? Because who we become in the process is where we discover the real gold.

Goals and achievements? Those are nice. But what really stokes my fire is the learning and self-development that occurs in achieving those goals. That’s where we find the richness and juiciness.

And where does it start? Five years down the road.

Imagine where you want to be five years from now.

What do you want your life to be like?

What will you be like?

What will you believe?

What sort of conversations will you have?

How will you spend your time?

How will you invest your energy and resources?

Don’t get bogged down in the minutiae. Start by considering the qualities you want to be present in your life.

With that five-years-in-the-future picture, reverse engineer what you need to do today to get where you want to be five years from now. Think about how you need to shift your focus and priorities to support the quality of life experience you want to have in five years.

Here are four tips to get you started in the direction of your dreams:

1. Believe in yourself. You have everything you need inside of you to realize your dreams. It’s okay if you don’t yet believe that about yourself. If you can recognize success or the things you want in someone else, you’ll eventually be able to see them in yourself too.

2. Trust yourself and the process. Stay committed to the process, and you’ll begin to see shifts in your life.

3. Get into a state of allowing. Allow goodness and abundance to come into your life by focusing on the “what,” not the “how.” Focus on the essence of the outcome you want, and the “how” will become apparent in time.

4. Take inspired action. Take action based on how your successful future self behaves and thinks. As you do this, the answers to the “how” will become more evident.

Ultimately, the “how” is not as important as you aligning with the qualities, beliefs, language, and states of the successful, future version of yourself. You can do this!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Eliminating Limiting Beliefs
• The Only Things You Have Control Over

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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The United States has a projected next president. With more certainty than we had in the days approaching the election, you’d think that the tension would be waning.

Well, unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case.

While some of us have moved on (or never went there in the first place), others are still pointing fingers, blaming, and shaming. This behavior is happening on all sides of the spectrum.

Sometimes you’ll even hear influencers talk about unity in one breath. Then, in the next, they refer to people who disagree with their particular political stance calling them “socialists” or “white supremacists.” Whatever happened to unity? What about tolerance?

You don’t have to look too far to find common ground. So why are we not focusing our attention there?

In a word — it comes down to fear. The powers that be — on all sides — are playing on our fears like a virtuoso plays the violin. When we’re uptight and scared, we’re easier to control, more likely to do what people in power or perceived authority ask us to do without question.

Who benefits when we act out of fear? You guessed it. Not me and not you and not your next-door neighbor.

NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) has taught me that everyone is doing the best they can with their resources at a point in time. When you can recognize that, it’s easy to be tolerant of other people’s points of view. When you can look at the world from their perspective, their choices and decisions will make sense.

And you will feel respect for them and their position. Name-calling would be out of the question, and not even a consideration.

What the name-callers don’t know (or forget) is that perception is projection.

The people slinging harmful language are frustrated with others because deep down, they’re frustrated with themselves. By cutting off others, in some capacity, they’re cutting themselves off.

Ready for the antidote for blame and shame?

• For at least a couple of days, turn off the news and stop looking at anything remotely political on social media. Shift that energy into personal growth or the growth of your business. The ROI for the time you invest here will be much greater.
• Become your best friend. Do things that feel good and that are truly good for you.
• Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can (and so is everyone else).
• Instead of feeling bogged down in the weeds of “how” things will be accomplished. Focus on the “what” and the “why.”
• Remember that we have much more in common with one another than we do differences.
• Love your neighbors, especially the ones you disagree with.
• Do the ecology check — Before speaking or acting, ask yourself: Is it good for me? Is it good for those directly involved? Is it good for those who will be affected?

When we can do these things, we’ll be on our way to a more unified and inclusive society. Perhaps the greatest benefit is that such attitudes and approaches will make us whole, undivided individuals. We’ll be at peace with ourselves.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Last week’s episode, The Only Thing(s) You Have Power Over
• Mind Revolution Episode — Speaking Your Truth and Other Bad Ideas

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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I recorded this episode the day before the United States would elect their next president. U.S. citizens and residents of every stripe and color have been on edge over the past several months due to many things — lockdowns, protests, riots. Folks on all ends of the political spectrum feel anxious and fearful about what may be in store if their candidate loses.

The fear and uncertainty runs thick and has seeped into seemingly every corner of our culture. My clients, whom I deeply respect, are across the entire spectrum.

NLP has taught me that everyone is doing the best with the resourceswhat they have. This helps me respect others right where they are.

I’ve also learned that in the end, we all want the same things — love, certainty, and safety. And behind every behavior — yes, even crappy, jerky behaviors — there’s a positive intention.

Let that sink in for a minute.

During this election season, some clients have accused me of not having a political opinion. Sometimes they say I don’t care about what happens to our country this November. And nothing could be further from the truth.

My commitment to myself and my clients keeps me focused on the things I (and my clients) can control.

The presidential election is not one of those things.

While this may feel like a do-or-die election — is it really? Is the result of the election going to change your health-and-wellness situation? Will it improve the quality of your personal relationships? Is the president-elect going to keep you on track with your personal development goals?

We get so worked up over this out-of-our-control election, yet we would be better served to tend to the things we can control.

There are only four things over which you have complete control. And when you’re intentional about them, you will see positive results in your life, and quickly. Here they are:

1. Your thoughts. While it’s true that others can influence your thinking, your thoughts are your own. No one else can think them for you. And if you have negative or unpleasant thoughts, you can change them. Recognizing when you have negative thoughts is half the battle.

2. Your feelings. Yes, it’s true! You can control the way you feel. When you’re in a funk, recall a happy time — a time when you felt fulfilled, energized, or loved. Your mind can transport you back to that time. Notice how your feelings instantly shift.

3. Your language. The words you speak with your mouth and with your mind matter. You get to control the narrative. Keep your story and your commentary positive, and watch your environment conform to that positivity.

4. Your behavior. No one can control your actions or conduct, but you. Be the good you want to see in the world, and the world will reflect goodness back to you.

Let this episode empower you to take control of the things you can. You have the power to place your focus on the things that only you can control.

So, this week (and every week after), instead of getting bogged down in things outside of your control, focus on your thoughts, your state, and on doing what feels good. That’s where you’ll truly find happiness and a sense of security and safety.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Mind Revolution episode Controlling the Controllables
• Mind Revolution episode On Sharing Your Truth and Other Bad Ideas
• Check out our Freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

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Impostor syndrome. You know what that is, right? It’s when you’re in your space and having success but you feel like a phoney. Like a fraud who’s about to be outed. Like you can’t really take credit for your achievements. That it was actually just luck all along. Or coincidence.

Imposter syndrome can happen to the best of us. I recognized it in myself at a conference recently. “Who am I to be teaching people about self-development?” It was uncomfortable at the time, it but turned into a beautiful experience of releasing negative emotions and shifting focus.

That came after announcing over the microphone to all the attendees what was going on with me.

No, I’m not kidding. It was a sweet release as I squarely addressed my own phantom fears. You’ll have to tune in to learn more…

So, yeah, impostor syndrome is real. I often see it in my clients too. Impostor syndrome creates issues around the notions of competence, confidence, and criticism.

• Competence. Where did you get the idea that you need to know it all to be competent? No one can know it all. And no one needs to know it all. The idea is ludicrous, right? You know that. So why let yourself feel small and incompetent when you realize you don’t know something? Competence is about learning along the way. And you can only learn by giving yourself permission to fail and get back up and try again.

• Confidence. Everyone has moments of self-doubt. Instead of letting those moments put you in a funk of low self-esteem, recognize that self-doubt is normal. Ask, what could I change about this situation to feel more confident? Is there an opportunity for me to learn and feel more confident?

• • Criticism.
• • • First recognize that the fear of criticism is nothing more than the fear of rejection.
• • • Consider the source of the criticism. Is the critic in a resourceful place? Do they know what they’re talking about?
• • • Remember that perception is projection. If there is no truth whatsoever in a piece of criticism you receive, you won’t even notice it. It won’t register. But if it stings, if you have a reaction — be it strong or mild — you should investigate it. In what way is this criticism true? Because remember, the unconscious mind will project back to you what’s inside.

Once you’ve recognized impostor syndrome for what it is, take time to give yourself some credit. Recognize your achievements, your contributions, your uniqueness. It’s important that you do that. You need to congratulate yourself to keep your conscious and unconscious minds working together on the same goals. That’s how stuff gets done. That’s where the real successes happen. When you’re reaping success from that congruency, recognize it, celebrate it so that it continues to happen.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 — We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 34 — We talked about deserving and that, yes, you do deserve good things.
• Episode 4 — We learned about toward and away-from motivation

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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My guest on today’s show is a special client and friend. You could say she’s my ideal client. Though she has had a challenging path, her tenacity for something better is driving her to change her life from the inside out.

It’s been so beautiful to see.

Maxine Ramirez and I have been working together for a year and a half, and today you get to hear her story and see how far she’s come in that time. Maxine had a rough childhood that included sexual abuse, substance abuse, dropping out of high school, eating disorders… Comparable circumstances have left many feeling helpless and doomed to repeat unhealthy patterns. But Maxine always wanted something better, wanted something more. Her rough beginning has just made her progress that much sweeter.

When Maxine and I first started working together, she shared a secret that she hadn’t voiced previously. She wanted to start her own business. Within three months, she launched her web design and digital marketing agency. Today she is also training to be a master coach of NLP.

Maxine and I started our work together by identifying strategies and patterns, releasing negative emotions, and getting rid of limiting beliefs. Maxine says it felt like a weight lifted from her body. Our first priority was to help her get congruent, to get her conscious and unconscious minds in sync, working to move her in the direction she wanted to grow.

With my clients, I consistently see that all of their negativity, all of their limiting beliefs, their sense of unworthiness, their sense of lack of trust and uncertainty are manifested into one specific area of their lives more so than others. For some people, it shows up in their work or business, their relationships, or their finances. For Maxine, it’s her body. She has noticed how when she doesn’t honor her body, chaos often spills over into other areas of her life. Similarly, when she treats her body well, client relations go more smoothly. It’s all linked.

Maxine shares some tips as you progress on your own self-development journey:

• Tell yourself a new story. Use your imagination. Believe that you not only deserve to get what you want but that it’s already yours.
• Pay attention to your language -- the language that comes through your words and that is in your thoughts. Use positive, toward language.
• Take action towards your goal. There is no such thing as perfection, only progress.
• Love yourself along the way. Feed your mind with positive content (like what you find at Mind Revolution). Join Brenda’s Facebook community where you’ll find support and inspiration.

Do it for yourself. You’re worth it! Maxine and I are rooting for you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• How You’ll Know It’s Time to Level-Up episode
• What to Do When It’s Time to Level-Up episode
• Taming the Perfectionist Self episode
• Escaping the Comparison Trap episode
• Check out our free resources!
• Find Brenda on Instagram
• Soulful NLP group on Facebook

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Are you in the midst of leveling up? If you’re not sure, make sure you listen to last week’s episode. Today’s episode is the second of a three-part series on leveling-up. Once you know you’re ready to level up (last week’s episode), you’ll be ready for this week’s episode where we discuss what to do in the leveling-up process.

Change is part of life. We were meant for change. And sometimes we seek to create change, and other times change happens to us. For many, 2020 has been a year of forced change.

Either way, you have a choice about how you respond. You can be an active or an inactive participant in the change.

The inactive strategy carries attitudes and beliefs of…

• “I’ll just go with the flow.”
• “The universe will guide me.”
• “I’m going to trust that everything will work out.”
• “I’m just going to let things be.”

If you’re ready to have input in your life and drive change in the direction that you want to go, I have five tips for you.

Make a plan.

1. 1. Even if you don’t know what you want the end result of the change to look like, focus on how you want to feel on the other side of the change.
   2. Then identify and commit to doing three things you can do to help you feel the way you want to feel and work towards those things.
   3. Identify things you should start doing and things you should stop doing to help you achieve your goal.
   4. This should be an intentional time of validating your emotions, working through the grieving process, and practicing forgiveness. (Remember, forgiveness is for you. The other person doesn’t even need to know that they have been forgiven.)
   5. Be careful to not get sucked into negative states. Know when it’s time to move on.
2. Validate your journey.
3. Practice self-care. This cannot be overstated. You can’t take care of anyone else well until you’ve tended to your own needs first.
4. Be patient with yourself and with the people in your world. You’re going to be doing some reassessing and going through times of uncertainty, times when you’re not sure what to do next… Be patient and kind to yourself as you’re figuring things out.
5. Expect good things and pay attention to your language. Drop the “I need to…” or “I should…” in favor of “I get to…” and “I will…” or “I can…” It seems like a little thing, but it will have a profound impact on your sense of self-control and empowerment. You have choices in what you do and in how you respond.

In the end, to achieve the outcomes you want, you need to do two things: manage your state in the moment-to-moment experience and focus on what you want. And when it’s all said and done, it will be clear that the pot of gold isn’t found at the end of the rainbow but along the path of getting there. The golden nuggets will be found in the process, not the destination.

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Have you ever noticed how you’re wired to want more?

If you’re here, it’s probably because you’re on a self-development journey. You know intuitively that there’s more in store for your life experience if you can tap into your higher power.

But how exactly do you listen to that inner voice, your higher power, your soul?

Even the idea of “wanting more” makes us uncomfortable. Are we greedy? Can’t we just be satisfied with what we have? When have we reached “enough” success?

Wanting more isn’t about trying to fill a void inside. It’s about becoming aligned with your meaning and purpose.

Keep in mind that your bank account, your relationships, your work, your pipeline — these are all just symbols of how you’re doing internally.

Ultimately, you want to be “more” of your true self, to get closer to that place where your conscious mind, unconscious mind, and higher conscious mind align.

But before you can make any moves in that direction, you’re going to feel some internal nudges inside that something needs to change. Remember that any time you move out of the comfort zone, it’s going to be… well, uncomfortable.

How do you know when you’re in a state of transition and transformation? Perhaps you:

• Feel confused. When what used to feel right doesn’t feel good anymore, expect questions to come up and to experience some confusion.
• Feel unconfident, uncertain, and maybe even stuck — what do you do first?
• Notice yourself in negative states. Perhaps you’re feeling frustration, sadness, anger, resentment and even regret.

You’ll feel the above when you’re sensing nudges or hearing an inner whisper. Whether you’re unhappy with your finances, relationships, work, or your body, these are all clear signals that something is off. These are our biggest areas of projection.

So you’re in this icky-feeling stuck place, you know that you can’t go back to the way things were because that wasn’t feeling good anymore either. So now what?

Your higher self is alerting you that it’s time to level-up in one or more areas of your life.

It’s easy to assume that making a change has to look drastic, that you have to start over from scratch with a new business or get yourself out of a stagnant relationship. Sometimes that’s best, but it’s certainly not always the case.

Making a shift towards a new beginning could just mean giving yourself some time and space to establish new boundaries. It could involve replacing what wasn’t working with something that will serve you better.

This is the time…

• To make decisions that will allow you to evolve while maintaining a positive state.
• To find a support system.
• To do some writing exercises where you ask your unconscious mind, “What’s the shift happening now? What’s being set up that’s going to allow me to take action?”

Transformation is about doing the work on the inside. And the extra-beautiful thing is that the work you do internally will benefit everyone. When you give yourself the time and space to evolve into this leveled-up version, everything else will evolve too. That’s just how it works.

If you’re in this place, congratulations! Better things are in store for you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our fabulous freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Inside today’s powerful episode, we’re going to work with your future self.

You’re going to learn how to connect with and the ideal, most resourceful, and powerful version of future YOU.

If you're a practical person, NLP will be your jam because it’s straightforward.

The purpose of working with your future self is to create the experiences you want.

Say you want to start a business. You have an idea, and you know this business is alive and well somewhere in your consciousness, this business is there, and thriving. In that moment, when you're aware of that thriving business, you’re having a conversation with your future self. And from the perspective of your unconscious mind, this is happening right now. This will help you to create that experience of a thriving business.

We create our experiences based on the essence of our focus.

And when we become aware that we’re creating our experience based on the essence of our focus, we can intentionally use that focus because we know the unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between real, imagined, or remembered. To the unconscious mind, it’s all the same.

It's a really fun and easy way to begin to train your focus in a direction that will allow you to have more of what you want.

Think of your future self, and ask yourself these questions:

• What’s this person doing?
• What time does this person go to sleep?
• What time do they get up in the morning?
• What kind of books are they reading?
• Where are they finding their pleasure and their joy?

As you ask yourself these questions, see yourself moving through your day.

Tune in, and hear for yourself what your future self has to say.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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When you hear the word “abundance,” what comes to mind? Maybe the first thing you think of is your bank account. And while that’s one way of measuring abundance, it’s a limited view of the concept of abundance.

Abundance means plenty.

And is about more than money. Think health, relationships, time, energy, and self-image.

Abundance is everything.

Yet money is a great metaphor for whether we’re embracing abundance or pushing it away. If it feels like there’s not enough in your bank account, then my (evidence-based) guess is that you probably feel you don’t have enough in other areas of your life.

Abundance is everything — it’s a way of life. You have access to an internal flow of abundance just because you’re here.

And here’s the interesting thing — your body will tell you when you’re not living in abundance.

When you sit down to pay the bills and get a knot in your belly, that’s uneasiness. And abundance cannot flow to you in that state.

Your state (there’s that word again) — is key. It’s crucial you manage your state to tap into the flow of abundance that’s always there, and it starts by noticing and appreciating the abundant things in your life.

See if you can notice some good things around you right now.

Even if you’re thinking, “But I can’t think of anything.”

That’s when we need to go back to basics.

Are you breathing? Notice and be thankful.

Did the sun come up this morning? It did here, and it was beautiful.

Do you have a memory of feeling loved? Remember and bask in it.

Once you’re in an improved state and feeling the abundance that’s there, then pay your bills from a state of plenty. And as you write the checks, or click that payment button, remember the amazing things you get in return — water, electricity, heating and cooling, and even that comfy new sofa.

And notice how different you feel in your body. See how your face softens to a smile.

Your body is your gateway to connection and your spiritual experience.

I invite you to tune in. Listen to your body. It will tell you how you’re doing.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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I recently started a new group coaching program designed to help students achieve big things in a short amount of time — just three months. As you can imagine, it’s pretty intense. We’re setting goals (and making progress) almost daily.

Some people in the group have expressed concern about not being able to do it all. There’s work, home, family, kids — obligations galore — plus the coaching program. How can they make the time to do it all?

I understand what they’re feeling. Trust me. I’ve been there. I was a single mom, and it was always a balancing act.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my own journey and from my clients’ journeys…

The balancing gets easier and answers become clearer when you prioritize self-care.

We tend to think that we’re either accomplishing great things or we’re stuck. But it’s really not like that. It’s easy to forget that it’s often the little things we do consistently that have the greatest impact. The big results come from faithful practices — practices like eating well, exercising, writing, taking the next little step towards your goal, and then taking the next step and the next step. Take consistent small steps and you’ll not only get there, but your healthy habits will also have taken root, and they’ll be there to serve you in future endeavors.

The alternative to not prioritizing self-care is to let yourself be driven by others’ demands and external circumstances. You’ll give, give, give, and will likely end up feeling frustrated and underappreciated.

If that’s where you find yourself, here’s the hard truth:

What you’re experiencing has more to do with the filters inside your nervous system than with anything in your environment.

This is why your relationship with yourself is your most important relationship. Thankfully, it’s also the only one you can control.

So how do you start putting yourself first? Here’s a challenge is for you:

• Get up 30 minutes early and invest some time meditating, reflecting on your own goodness, the good in those you love, your intentions for the day, exercising, reading — whatever serves and nourishes you.
• Decide to say yes to the things that serve you and will bring you closer to your goals.
• Commit to saying no to the things that don’t serve you or your future goals.

Give it a try. Within a week, you’ll see consistency, clarity, self-control, and increased confidence. Why? Because you will be more in charge of you.

And the cherry on top is that it’s from there that you can best care for those you love.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Check out our fabulous freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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As a human being, it’s nearly impossible for you to stop thinking. Here are some quick “thought” facts for you. You’ll understand the weightiness of these a bit later…

• You have about 70,000 thoughts each day.
• 90% of those are repetitive thoughts.
• Half of your thoughts are automatic. (Your unconscious mind is trying to be efficient.)
• The majority of your thoughts are negative. (We have a negativity bias to keep us safe from saber-toothed tigers and other dangers)

Thoughts are powerful. I often say that you get what you focus on. And since your focus comes from what you think, in essence, your thoughts will determine your outcomes. Especially those repetitive thoughts.

You might be wondering, Where do these thoughts come from, anyway?

Good question. Your existing neurology is made up of everything that has happened in your life experience, especially before the age of 5-7 years. Before then, you were like a sponge, soaking up whatever your caregivers told you. Repeated thoughts then became beliefs as the brain sought to make connections between those internal thoughts and your external experiences. Yes, for better or worse, the unconscious mind essentially seeks to validate repeated thoughts.

That’s why it’s so important that we think good thoughts. The brain is going to do work to give the essence of what you focus on, in other words, what you think about! So we might as well make it something good. Right?

Are you getting a glimpse of the power of your thoughts?

A client had been having some struggles with her business. In talking about it, she revealed that she met each day with dread. That’s no way to productively tackle challenges. So we worked to change that.

Within just three days of doing some thought work before going to bed and upon waking, she saw a shift. She became empowered by changing her thoughts!

You are significantly more powerful than you think you are. And it has everything to do with your thoughts.

This work is not hard to do, and you don’t have to go from zero to 60 all at once. Start by asking, “How is it that I want to feel?” because just thinking about it will create a tiny shift in the right direction. Then you can build momentum from there.

To change your thoughts, utilize these tools:

• When you have a thought that doesn’t serve you, reject-delete it.
• Practice pattern interrupts when negative thoughts arise
• Use our free resource to rewrite negative thoughts
• Play the ABC game
• Make a list of all the things you love about the people in your world
• Make a list of the things you love about yourself

Change your thoughts; change your life.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode on Rewriting Negative Thoughts
• ABC worksheet
• Rewriting negative thoughts worksheet

To help out the show:

• Leave an positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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If you’ve been listening for a while, you know that this isn’t another motivational podcast. We go much deeper than that here.

Let me explain…

Have you ever felt compelled to do something, to take action? A client recently contacted me because she wanted to have a quick talk about a business she wanted to start. It would be a business aimed at helping others feel safe and secure — well aligned with what we all need today, right?

Sounds good so far, but we need to get some context.

She has been, understandably, upset by all the turmoil she sees in the world. It makes sense that she’s craving safety, security, and certainty for herself and for others, especially since those things were lacking in her own upbringing. We all want these things. She also thinks that her current job is in jeopardy, so she feels the need to create options.

What she thought would be a 20-minute chat turned into a two-hour deep conversation of us exploring the birthplace of her ideas.

As in, where do all those ideas, inspirations, and nudges come from?

You might be wondering why it matters.

Because externally-motivated goals or plans lack a key ingredient: inspiration.

Motivation is externally-driven. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when you’re talking about a big change like starting a business for the first time, you need to be inspired, not just motivated. If you’re only motivated, most of the process is going to feel like a grind. And before long, you’re going to be exhausted.

Inspiration, on the other hand, is internally-driven and is always positive.

It lights you up inside and gives you energy. And you’ll need it to do the hard things required to make your dream a reality.

When you’re inspired, you don’t need an alarm clock to get you out of bed in the morning. In fact, in the early days, you might have to use the alarm clock to discipline yourself to take breaks.

In today’s episode, we revisit the concept of the direction filter. Are you primarily moving towards what you want or away from what you don’t want? Both have you moving in the same general direction, but the focus is in opposite directions. If you’re focusing on what you don’t want, you might not even know what you do want!

From an NLP perspective, we have the conscious mind, the unconscious mind, and higher consciousness — which consists of the higher conscious mind (or higher self, or soul) and the superconscious (God, Source, the Universe or another name you choose). That higher conscious mind is the part that’s connected directly to your unconscious mind.

My goal is to help you align your unconscious mind with your higher conscious mind so that you can be truly inspired from the inside, keep your focus on what you want, and take inspired-action steps from there.

Now inspiration is all about having divine guidance. This is where we meet our higher consciousness and where we’ll find the blueprint for good things in their ideal form. This is where we find our flow, where everything feels clear, easy, and effortless.

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“I know you talk about it all the time, but what is the unconscious mind again?”

The unconscious mind is your power center that’s controlling things in the background. You don’t go around reminding yourself to breathe. The unconscious mind handles that for you. It’s also keeping straight which is the brake and gas pedal, how to ride a bike, what your phone number is, your children’s birthdays, all your memories...and so, so much more!

The unconscious mind processes boatloads of information every single second so that the conscious part of the mind can focus on just the (relatively) few things that are filtered in by your focus. Otherwise, we would live in overwhelm and overload.

So, in the end, whatever comes into your consciousness originates in the unconscious mind and is then filtered out into your awareness.

This is why it’s so important that you manage what goes in.

Some important things to remember:

• The unconscious mind loves repetition. The things you focus on frequently are what the unconscious mind will latch onto.
• The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. This is why positive, toward language is so important. If you “don’t want to get sick,” you’re unconscious mind hears “get sick”. Focusing on the positive, on “being healthy.” is way more useful.
• The unconscious mind takes everything personally. If you’re thinking or talking about someone else, the unconscious mind thinks it’s you. So watch what you think and say. If you bad mouth your neighbor, your colleagues, your spouse, from your unconscious mind’s perspective, you’re essentially beating up on yourself. Keep it constructive and positive.
• Emotion always wins with the unconscious mind. This is why it’s important to recognize and combat negative and limiting beliefs.

In NLP, we say that what you see, hear, speak, and feel is what you’ll get. This is why it’s so important that you guard what comes in and what you focus on.

• One place to especially watch out is social media. Carefully choose what media to consume. Make sure it’s positive and that it leaves you feeling good.
• Similarly, engage in conversations that are positive and that feel good. Sure, tough conversations need to happen from time to time, but as a general rule, avoid conversations that leave you feeling disempowered.
• Don’t talk about your problems. This just serves to reinforce neurology around the problems. Solutions will be found by getting out of the problem and to broader perspective.

The truth is that we’re unconsciously programming our unconscious minds every day with what we expose ourselves to. So make a conscious decision to create an environment that is positive and resourceful and that will serve you as you move forward.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 — We learned about the reticular activating system
• Episode 2 — The Power of Perception
• Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 38 — Taming the perfectionist self

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Everywhere I go, people notice and comment on the fact that I’m an upbeat person. And they’re right. I feel good and positive almost all the time. Really.

Sure, I have moments of setback and overwhelm just like everyone else, but what I’m talking about is the state of my typical, usual days. They’re happy, positive...plain ol’ great days. Wondering how I do it?

First, you should know that it’s not by accident that I have good days the vast majority of the time. I plan to have good days, and I plan to feel great. The days are too precious to leave to chance. So I work at it. And it’s so worth the effort.

I’ve developed some daily practices that keep me on a positive track.

And those practices start the night before. Here are my top five practices for having a great day.

1. The night before, calm the nervous system. Pay attention to how you spend the last few hours before going to bed. If scary, dramatic movies give you fitful sleep, avoid that sort of thing. Figure out what is calming to you and do that instead. A cup of soothing tea, walking the dog, a lighthearted show…
2. Visualize the end of the coming day and feeling good about the day you just had. Visualize, in a soothing way, the projects, meetings, and conversations you’ll have in the coming day. Visualize what it will feel like to come home and relax after a productive day. Do you have a spiritual practice? If so, harness it during this time.
3. Get plenty of sleep. Go to bed early and get seven to eight hours of sleep.
4. Before you get out of bed in the morning, set your intentions for the day. Don’t get too granular here. Think big-picture intentions. This could involve meditation or a spiritual practice.
5. Finally, throughout the day, set high expectations. Pause before you do the next thing and talk to your unconscious mind about the outcomes you want to have. When you get congruent, you’ll be amazed at the doors that open for you.

My clients and I have proven these techniques over and over again. They really make a difference! The quality of your days is too valuable to be left to chance.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 -- We learned about the reticular activating system
• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations and perception is projection
• Episode 4 -- We learned about toward motivation
• Episode 32 -- We learned about chunking

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Impostor syndrome. You know what that is, right? It’s when you’re in your space and having success but you feel like a phoney. Like a fraud who’s about to be outed. Like you can’t really take credit for your achievements. That it was actually just luck all along. Or coincidence.

Imposter syndrome can happen to the best of us. I recognized it in myself at a conference recently. “Who am I to be teaching people about self-development?” It was uncomfortable at the time, it but turned into a beautiful experience of releasing negative emotions and shifting focus.

That came after announcing over the microphone to all the attendees what was going on with me.

No, I’m not kidding. It was a sweet release as I squarely addressed my own phantom fears. You’ll have to tune in to learn more…

So, yeah, impostor syndrome is real. I often see it in my clients too. Impostor syndrome creates issues around the notions of competence, confidence, and criticism.

• Competence. Where did you get the idea that you need to know it all to be competent? No one can know it all. And no one needs to know it all. The idea is ludicrous, right? You know that. So why let yourself feel small and incompetent when you realize you don’t know something? Competence is about learning along the way. And you can only learn by giving yourself permission to fail and get back up and try again.

• Confidence. Everyone has moments of self-doubt. Instead of letting those moments put you in a funk of low self-esteem, recognize that self-doubt is normal. Ask, what could I change about this situation to feel more confident? Is there an opportunity for me to learn and feel more confident?

• • Criticism.
• • • First recognize that the fear of criticism is nothing more than the fear of rejection.
• • • Consider the source of the criticism. Is the critic in a resourceful place? Do they know what they’re talking about?
• • • Remember that perception is projection. If there is no truth whatsoever in a piece of criticism you receive, you won’t even notice it. It won’t register. But if it stings, if you have a reaction — be it strong or mild — you should investigate it. In what way is this criticism true? Because remember, the unconscious mind will project back to you what’s inside.

Once you’ve recognized impostor syndrome for what it is, take time to give yourself some credit. Recognize your achievements, your contributions, your uniqueness. It’s important that you do that. You need to congratulate yourself to keep your conscious and unconscious minds working together on the same goals. That’s how stuff gets done. That’s where the real successes happen. When you’re reaping success from that congruency, recognize it, celebrate it so that it continues to happen.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 — We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 34 — We talked about deserving and that, yes, you do deserve good things.
• Episode 4 — We learned about toward and away-from motivation

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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I help others live congruent lives. I support others in aligning their beliefs, emotions, and actions to get in touch with their true selves so they can live the life they were meant to live.

Meet Sydney Ward — an energy healer and intuitive guide. She uses yoga, reiki, sacred geometry, and crystal healing, and she also uses components of tarot, moonology, meditation, and Celtic shamanism in her work.

While it may all sound woo-woo — don’t worry, even the most skeptical won’t offend Sydney. She understands because she’s a very grounded person herself with a degree in finance and experience in Corporate America.

It’s not difficult to recognize that we’re energetic beings. Our bodies metabolize food so our bodies can use it as energy. We’re also electrical beings with neurological synapses all over the body, sending out electrical signals. Sydney’s work focuses on balancing the energy in the body so that parts of the body with pent up energy share the energy with the parts that lack energy and need a little boost.

Sydney helps others balance the energy in the physical body so they can become more aligned with the spiritual self. The result is a life of more ease, flow, and openness to the universe’s opportunities.

The result — becoming an aligned, harmonious being.

Sydney and I are after the same thing. I approach it through training the unconscious mind and she approaches it through energy healing.

Get us in the same room, and we have a lot of interesting things to talk about! It’s a complete mind and body approach.

In my chat with Sydney, she shares her story of how treatment for a chronic medical condition was the catalyst that led to a career change — and a whole lot more.

She shares how, when she stopped trying to plan every next move and instead embraced rest, the universe brought her completely aligned opportunities.

We’re all searching for purpose, and Sydney found it not by striving but by letting it come to her.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn:

• That Sydney believes Western medicine has its place
• How her extremely logical husband helped her see her that she was tapping into something special with energy work
• How she decided to train in reiki
• How as a schoolgirl, Sydney would pretend to read palms during recess
• That reiki, like meditation, lowers stress hormones
• How devastating a disproportionate amount of stress hormones can be
• About theta-wave brain state
• That the nervous system is the physical integration point for the energy system
• That you don’t have to “believe” in energy healing to experience it

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out Sydney’s website
• Donna Eden
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Find Sydney on Instragram and Facebook
• Lake Anama Intuitive Wellness

To help out the show:

• Leave an positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Starting this podcast was the beginning of my venture into the online space. When I decided to “put myself out there” I didn’t really have a master plan. Over the last year and a half, I’ve created a sizable amount of content — here on the podcast and on the blog. I decided to hire a visibility strategist to give me some guidance.

My goal was to be more visible. I’m creating all these great things, so how can I invite more eyeballs (and ears) to see and hear what I’ve put out there.

At my meeting with the strategist, we looked at my follower and engagement numbers compared to those of my “competitors.”

And my numbers didn’t look so great.

“Hey, I’m a winner at zeros,” I joked.

Even though I was joking, looking at those zeros hurt. I felt shame and thoughts of “not good enough” creeping in. “Who am I to be doing this work?”

Here’s what was really at the root of this reaction — I was seeking external validation.

When I’m in my genius zone creating content or working with clients and students, I’m great. I feel congruent and completely in my element. But this online space still feels new to me and so uncertain. Self-doubt creeps in. “How will I be received?”

As I’ve been talking with clients and students, the same external validation trap has been an issue for them too. Why do I call it a “trap”? Because it is! We do things that may or may not feel good to us to try to get someone else to notice and validate our efforts, give us a pat on the back, or tell us to “keep up the good work.”

But other people have their lives to live, their issues, and they may also be chasing validation from others.

So we increase our efforts. And we try to be amazing at everything we do. And we do more and more, and push and push.

And it’s exhausting.

And for what? What are we doing this all for? So someone will notice? So someone else will tell us we’re good enough? Or that we’re worth it?

No matter what others say or do (or if they notice at all), it will never be enough. It’s a never ending cycle. When we’re in that needy, craving state of mind, no amount of praise will be sufficient. We’ll always be efforting, seeking validation — and we’ll stay in that exhausted state of feeling unappreciated.

There is a better way. In short, it’s validating yourself. Also:

1. Deciding your worthiness is an inside job.
   You don’t have to feel worthy yet. Just recognize the goodness within and that your sense of worthiness is up to you.
2. Practicing self-acceptance.
   Accept who you are right now — every part. And recognize your higher consciousness is part of something much bigger.
3. Practicing self-compassion.
   Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can with what you have. So treat yourself like a good friend — with love, patience, and kindness.
4. Committing to doing whatever you do for you.
   This is how you can discover your strengths, passions, and purpose.
5. Appreciating your effort and celebrating your progress. Don’t expect anyone else to be proud of you. You be proud of yourself and celebrate your journey.

These steps are simple, and not always easy. Be consistent with them, and you’ll reap big rewards. When you can rest in your own goodness and stop seeking outside validation, you’ll become highly magnetic. Why? Because you’ll no longer be needy but aligned with the beautiful you that you are.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 75 — We talked about going all-in on you, even though it’s not all for you.
• Check out our fabulous freebies!

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Have you ever felt like you were meant for something different than your regular day-to-day? Maybe it’s just a hunch that you have right now. Jacq Fisch, my copy and content writer (and now a client) had those kinds of hunches and nudges years before starting her own business as a writer and writing coach.

Jacq joins me on the podcast today — as my first on-the-air guest! — to share her story of congruence. The story centers around her work, but it reaches much farther than that because when you get aligned in one area of your life, it spreads to other areas.

Jacq had a great job (as far as jobs go), but after having kids, the corporate-world honeymoon was over in a big way. Work was less fulfilling; she had almost zero family time and even less personal time. After three layoffs in five years and moving the family across borders and states multiple times, she knew something had to change.

Still, she found another job after the third layoff because she was a co-breadwinner. Her family depended on her income. But she determined that the next time she left a job, it would be on her terms.

She and her husband agreed that she’d quit her new job once her side hustle brought in half of her day job’s salary.

Game on.

After three months in a row of exceeding that number with her side hustle, she quit her job and hasn’t turned back. Today she can’t imagine not working on her terms.

In today’s episode, Jacq shares...

• A low parenting moment – a blow-up in front of the kids where she afterward asked herself, “Why am I yelling at the people I love for a job that I hate?”
• A revelation – While reading self-help books, she discovered that some people made money doing work they loved. You really could mix work and fun!
• An ah-ha moment – She realized that A) people often asked for her help with their writing projects and B) she loved helping people take their writing and make it better
• How she trained her unconscious mind – She’d pretend she was getting dressed to go to work in her home office as her own boss.
• Deep questions – She explored questions such as, Who do I have to be to start my own business? Will I like that person? Will other people like that person?
• An irony – Going all-in on herself meant putting herself first. The result was that those who matter most to her got more too. Taking care of herself first meant big benefits for her family as well.
• About self-doubt – “Feel the self-doubt and do it anyway.”

You can learn more about Jacq on her website, linked below. If you’re a business owner struggling to drop your expert industry jargon and sound like a human being in your writing, she can help. I’m living proof! Even if you’re a writer who struggles to make time for your own creative endeavors, Jacq’s Write Like a MOFO community will help you prioritize your writing goals and get it done.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check out Jacq’s website.
• Find Jacq on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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When I set my mind to something, I do it. That’s how this podcast got off the ground. I decided I was going to make it happen, did the work, and here it is.

I haven’t always been that way. I used to be a procrastinator. I’d have great ideas and start on projects, but I couldn’t complete them. Instead of finishing, I’d move to the next idea.

Then I learned about NLP strategies.

I realized that I had trouble completing things because I had a fear of closure stemming from a fear of abandonment. (If you know my childhood history, you’ll understand why.) Unconsciously, I wasn’t letting myself finish projects to insulate myself from the threat of abandonment.

Once I understood the root of the problem and became aware of how this fear was impacting my life, I was able to address it and — well, here I am today, creating, launching, and finishing online courses, recording and completing podcast episodes — the list goes on.

Do you have trouble finishing what you start?

Many of my clients do too, and they often feel shame about it. Sometimes there are legit reasons for stopping in the middle of something you aimed to complete.

Maybe you’ve had your nose to the grindstone, and you’re tired and need a break. Let’s face it; it takes effort to work against the existing nervous system.

Maybe you started on a goal and then needed to reassess and ask, “Is this the direction I want to go?”

Maybe you’ve outgrown your original vision, and now you realize the goal you were after is no longer what you want.

For many of us, we repeatedly don’t complete projects because we feel:

• shackled by the pursuit of perfection and by a standard that doesn’t even exist
• convinced we need to start over because we didn’t get a few things quite “right”
• afraid of failure, closure, or of the change success will bring
• we’ve created a pattern of not completing things

The pattern of failing to complete things can be remedied by this:

Completing things.

You don’t have to release negative emotions or eliminate limiting beliefs. It calls for some behavioral changes. The key is to start with small, measurable goals.

1. Become aware of your current unconscious strategies. Why are you getting your current results?
   • The “A” items are the must-dos.
   • • Keep your A list small and manageable. Limit your A list to 3 items a day.
   • “B” items are things that feel congruent with your goals and values, and will feel good on the other side of doing them
   • • Only do “B” items when you’ve completed the “A” items
   • “C” items are unimportant — these are a low priority
2. Have an ABC list.
3. Carve out time and commit to the work. Start with what time you can create — 15 minutes a day, and then increase it to 30 minutes a day.
4. Change your language from “I have to,” to “I get to.” An attitude of opportunity (instead of obligation) brings positive energy into the process.

Your unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between a big goal and a small one. It only sees one thing — the goal. For this purpose, train your unconscious mind on small targets.

And then, break down big goals into small pieces and tackle one chunk at a time. Each subsequent goal will be easier to complete than the previous one.

You can do this, one small step at a time.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 16 — The 10-Step Problem-Solving Formula
• Episode 47 — Declutter Your Life, Declutter Your Mind
• Check out our free resources!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Remember those 30-minute TV shows back in the day like Leave it to Beaver and The Brady Bunch? They left me with the impression that American family life was wonderful, happy, and harmonious.

And when it wasn’t, no worries. A resolution was sure to come within 30 minutes!

When I moved to the US, that image of the happy American family didn’t match my own experience, yet I sought that happiness for years.

That was until I let it go and replaced the search for happiness with meaning and purpose.

Ironically, the place where I found the most joy was not in a neat-and-tidy script or happy-life formula.

Here’s what I found:

Doing hard things gave my life meaning.

Sometimes I get into conversations with people who want to realize happiness through manifestation. After all, some “enlightened” gurus meditate their way to peace and happiness.

Maybe in time, that can happen for the rest of us, but most of us aren’t there yet. I’m still on a journey, always evolving. And in my personal experience — and my clients’ and students’ lives reflect this — we find happiness by doing difficult things that are meaningful to us.

It’s in the doing that we grow, gain confidence, and hone new strategies, leaving us with behavioral flexibility and increased choice that spills over from one success to another.

More than just thinking about it, it takes deliberate and constant action.

Here are some ways to find the goodness in doing hard things:

• Decide on your hard thing. It could be related to business, health, relationships, a purchase you want to make, or an experience you want to have.
• List the steps.
  Make a list of the action items needed to support you in achieving your hard-thing goal. This won’t be a complete list of everything you need because you probably don’t know everything it’s going to take. That’s okay. Start where you are with what you know now, and adjust along the way.
• Create a “stop doing” list.
  Make a list of things you need to stop doing to support you in achieving your hard-thing goal. This could be something like stop watching Netflix mindlessly, or stop indulging in unhealthy foods until you reach your health goals, or stop putting off something you’ve needed to do.
• Take action.
  This step is crucial. Taking action signals your brain that you’re doing things differently now. Actions are both big and small — all kinds of actions here count. You’ll take action, and then do it again, and again. Eventually, it will feel natural.

Focus on one area, one thing. And the new strategies you develop will be great resources when you’re ready to tackle another area of your life.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Remember Leave it to Beaver?
• The Brady Bunch intro
• Check out our free resources

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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I’m so inspired by the people around me — my clients, my family, my husband, and my students. We’re still seeing some tough things in the world, and witnessing my people carry on doing “normal” things during these tough times is inspiring and a reason to celebrate.

I see parents keeping dinner on the table and keeping the kids busy, pet owners who are attentive to your pet’s needs, businesses who are still serving customers, neighbors who are checking in on one another, you are all amazing and you rock!

And if you’re tending to yourself — whether that means giving yourself some grace and a bit of a break or you’re upping the ante in your self-improvement journey — you have my utmost admiration and respect. Just make sure you’re taking your cues from you — not from some inspiring blog post you read or from someone else’s book or program.

Don’t let anyone “should” on you with what they think you’re supposed to do. All the answers you need are within you. You don’t need anyone else to save you.

You — and you alone — are the hero of your story.

You don’t need another hero. Here are some ways to keep putting YOU at the top of the list:

• Stand tall in your magnificence.
  Because, yes, you are magnificent. Avoid comparing yourself to others. The best person to compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Ask, “What could I achieve if I stood tall in my greatness?”
• Keep doing what empowers you.
  Focus on the things that let you feel powerful. If you’re struggling to think of things that make you feel empowered, look for things that make you feel good — not just good in the moment but good on the other side of doing them. Nurture that “I’m in charge of my results” feeling.
• Honor your gifts and talents by using them. Doing so will lead to the greatest success you could possibly imagine. Your gifts are what make you unique, and when you use them, you become more like yourself.
• Be brave.
  Take calculated risks. Brave things don’t have to be dangerous or panic-inducing. Start small. Simply start.
• Choose love.
  Doing so calms the nervous system. Choosing loves means accepting others just as they are, recognizing they’re doing the best they can with the resources and knowledge they have. Choosing love means loving self and loving others without expecting anything in return.

When we can operate from a place of love, we find the hero within. Only then, will we become who we were meant to be.

And when you do — the world will become a more beautiful place.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Check our the fabulous resources in the Freebies section

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In helping clients and students with changework, I’ve noticed that shame often weasels its way into the change process. It often shows up, disguised as a motivator...which can only be effective in the very short term. Shame is too disempowering to be used as an enduring tool for positive change.

That goes for yourself and for those trying to shame others (maybe you) into change. In the long-run, it’s a losing battle.

Momentum is going to happen whether we like it or not. Momentum tends to spiral into either a positive or a negative direction. And, believe me, shame is not going to propel you in a positive direction in a sustainable way.

Why not? Because shame diminishes our self-worth. It causes us to experience a sense of deep powerlessness. It leads to demotivation...the ultimate stuckness. And can eventually lead to a downward spiral.

So let’s ditch the shame “motivator” that will only derail our attempts of positive change and replace it with momentum in a positive direction. Think of it as an upwards empowering spiral.

• Separate what you do from who you are. You are so much more than your behavior, which is mostly based on conditioning given to you by someone else. You have the power to change your ideas, your beliefs, your behavior. So don’t let yourself or anyone else define you by your current or past behavior.
• Recognize what triggers your shame. When you can recognize triggers, you’ll have a greater ability to avoid triggers and to recognize the trigger in the moment. When you can be aware in the moment, you’ll have access to more options.
• Reframe negative self-talk. Negative self-talk quickly leads to shame spirals. When you’re aware of being harsh with or unkind to yourself, ask, “Would I speak to a loved one like this?” If the answer is no, then ask, “If I knew they were not in a good place, what would I say instead?” And remind yourself of those things.
• Focus on making progress. Instead of looking at how far you have to go, focus on how far you’ve come!
• Pause to celebrate wins. Set small, achievable goals, and then celebrate their completion. Make celebrating part of the journey.

When your momentum is headed in a positive direction, it will support and help sustain your changework. As a bonus, positive change doesn’t stop with you. It will positively affect those around you too.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 16 -- The Ten-Step Problem-Solving Formula
• Episode 3 -- Rewriting Automatic Negative Beliefs

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

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We’re still in the thick of hard times of 2020 with both the pandemic and racial tensions here in the US and all over the world. Many of us are also in the midst of doing some deep change work. And change work is difficult even under normal circumstances. Throw a pandemic, protests, social injustices, and other tensions into the mix, and — well, it can feel like too much.

When we received shelter in place orders, some of my one-on-one breakthrough clients wanted to take a break from their active change work. Their desire for change was still there; it just wasn’t the right time. There was too much going on to be able to focus.

After taking a breather, most of them have returned — more ready than ever to get back to it.

They realized that it takes constant effort even to hold onto the progress they made.

Then there’s momentum to consider. Humans are designed for growth and change. The question is, where is your momentum? Change is going to happen. The question is, will it happen on your terms?

There is, no doubt, a time to focus on being rather than actively doing. Sometimes we need to make ourselves comfortable. This episode is about listening to yourself and understanding what you need in the moment and what will serve you over the long term.

If you’ve fallen off the change wagon and are feeling the self-improvement blues, it’s okay, I’ve been there too! Here are seven things to know to support you when it comes to making intentional change:

1. You’re battling against your existing nervous system.
   When you feel resistance to the changes you’re trying to make, realize it’s only the nervous system letting you know that, “Hey, I’m not programmed this way. We do things the old way, remember?” Please be patient with yourself and keep going.
2. Getting stuck in the process of change could mean you’re making progress.
   The stuckness you might feel is an awareness that where you were is no longer satisfying, and you’re not yet where you want to be. Getting stuck and being willing to continue the work is a win in my book.
3. Change work takes time.
   You’ve got to schedule and prioritize accordingly. Waking up earlier might be the best way to squeeze in the extra time.
4. Be consistent.
   This is crucial for creating momentum in the direction you want to go. How can you start taking small, regular action toward what you want?
5. Change is a process.
   It’s about incremental growth and incremental results. Feeling stuck, tired, or even overwhelmed are all progress — celebrate that!
6. Sometimes taking action means taking a break.
   Sometimes the best thing we can do is focus on simply being rather than actively doing. This way, we can return to our self-development with even more vigor than before.
7. Find support for your growth journey.
   Going it alone can be tough, especially during times when you’re feeling off-balance. Look for a coach or support system to help you along the way.

It’s important you feel good on your journey, that you operate from your own integrity. Sometimes that will lead to making changes. Other times, it will mean staying the same. Sometimes it will be a combination of the two. Ultimately, this is about trusting yourself, knowing that you have the answers inside.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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• Check out our fabulous free resources!
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I normally steer clear of potentially sensitive topics. It’s important to me that my clients feel safe with and respected by me, so it serves me and that “safe space” well for me to not go there. I have clients from all walks of life, on all spectrums, and I honor and respect them all.

You all know what’s going on in the world post-George Floyd’s death. People have taken to the streets to protest the biases that exist in our world against Black people.

One of those protesters is my 23-year-old son.

My son schooled me this week on why it’s important to speak up. How saying “all lives matter” is hurtful. And how right now, it’s important that we highlight the importance of the lives of our Black neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family members.

I raised my boys to not consider the color of a person’s skin. I didn’t want to be distinguished on that basis, and I didn’t want my boys distinguishing or classifying others by skin color.

But now I realize that color matters because it’s part of what makes up their reality — our realities — and pretending like it doesn’t matter is contributing to the problem.

So today I’m speaking my truth. I’m sharing stories about how skin color has impacted my own family — especially my brother (who has darker skin than I do) and my son — and the tension in my household as my own biases towards the current administration AND towards Ron for being a former Trump supporter bubbled up to the surface. The emotions are raw and real. And I had to speak up.

In NLP, there is a technique, called perceptual positions, designed to create understanding, flexibility, sympathy, and empathy. Our world could use some of that now, don’t you think?

The technique goes like this…

• First look at a situation from your own perspective. Notice your beliefs, emotions, ideas, and frustrations.
• Second, take the opposite perspective and do your very best to put yourself in their shoes, and imagine their experience at an emotional level to try and identify the beliefs, emotions, ideas, and frustrations from that perspective.
• Finally, take the position of a third-party observer, someone who can objectively view multiple perspectives simultaneously.

The more we can practice this technique, the more we’ll increase the sympathy and understanding in the world. Join me in that, won’t you?

Thanks for listening!

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I had a call this week with a client, and I could tell that something was off. She seemed angry yet insisted that everything was okay. You see, she considers herself fortunate because she’s in a safe neighborhood. While she’s saddened by all that’s going on in the world related to people feeling disenfranchised, she has been counting her blessings and being thankful that her area hasn’t been as negatively impacted as others.

So what was this negativity I was sensing from her? This agitation, anger? I could see it in her countenance.

I kept probing, and it finally came out: her mother, who had lived nearby, was moving away. And when it came out, the tears flowed.

By the time we ended our conversation, she had worked through the negative emotions, and we were laughing and smiling. She was at peace.

Your emotions matter. Emotions are your unconscious mind communicating with you. It’s true -- your emotions are essentially your unconscious mind having a conversation with your conscious mind...if you’ll let it.

Too often, though, we discount our suffering because “it’s just emotional stuff.” Our emotional responses sometimes feel petty, especially when you consider the big losses that others in the world are experiencing.

But when we ignore those emotions or stuff them down, they fester. Instead, we need to recognize them, validate them (because they are there for a reason), and work through them.

Strong emotional reactions are often related to values and/or boundaries, and by exploring our emotional responses, we’ll learn a lot about what’s important to us and what we need to do to feel better. For example, maybe our values are not being honored. Or maybe those values should be revisited. Are they really serving you? .

The only way that you can make an impact is going to be when you choose to honor you first by honoring your emotions and knowing that they come up for a reason, that they're there to serve you. To change, to make a difference, to be your best self, you must honor your emotions.

Thanks for listening!

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Humans are designed to grow and evolve. Growth is part of the beautiful human experience.

So, why is change so hard then?

There’s a sort of tug-of-war going on. On the one hand, we need a certain level of safety and security, and so we’re programmed with a desire for the familiar and predictable.

On the other hand, growth and change happen. It’s an inevitable part of life. In fact, it will happen with or without our consent.

And believe me, it’s better to initiate growth on your own terms than to have life do it for you.

The truth is that your unconscious mind, which is tapped into the superconscious mind, knows when you’re ready to evolve. Have you ever sensed nudges from your unconscious mind, that sense of restlessness, or discontent?

Sometimes when we sense the nudges we’ll try to rekindle the flames of a strategy that worked for us in the past. But the results are never the same. We just don’t work that way. In those instances, what we need is real growth, not a re-do of something from the past.

Times of transition, that muddled middle when we’re on our way to transforming, are tough. They’re often characterized by a lack of direction, a lack of answers, an “I don’t know” feeling.

I know that transition space can feel awkward and disorienting, but the “I don’t know” space is actually a good place to be. Think of it as a chance to be open to opportunities, to what could be.

There are some ways to make transitions more comfortable…

• Stay congruent. “Is this action going to be good for me right now, and is it going to be good for me on the other side of doing it?”
• Make an inward turn. Journal about what you want. Make a list of what you want to feel and experience.
• Focus on the essence of what you want.
• Take steps that will move you in that direction.

I know the comfort zone feels...well, comfortable. But life has more in store for you. You were meant to change, to grow, to transform. You were meant for this.

Thanks for listening!

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As you probably know, I’ve been working on a new course on prosperity and abundance, and it’s impossible to do that work without reflecting on my own journey from severe poverty to abundance. In today’s episode, I share my personal story so that you can understand where I’ve been, how much I’ve had to overcome to get to where I am today, and that the tools that I teach, preach, and live by really do work.

My story is one of dirt walls and a dirt floor...no indoor plumbing...feeling abandoned by my dad when he left my mom...feeling abandoned by my mom when she left Mexico to seek a better life for herself, my little brother, and I...delivering freshly cleaned laundry, on foot, through the streets of Tijuana with my grandmother...eating discarded bread scraps from a local restaurant that previously fed them to their dogs...immigrating to America as a preteen...culture shock...eating disorders...a failed marriage…

My rough background left me with a lot of hurt and a lot of limiting beliefs. But I had a few things going for me. I come from a line of feisty women -- my mom is strongly independent, and my grandmother taught herself to read, and she fed a bunch of kids largely on her own.

As you’ll hear, my life began to really pivot when I started being self-disciplined, consistently working towards goals. Finally I was able to build and maintain momentum by embracing and living by the following 10 things:

1. It’s critical that I manage my state. This helps me operate from a place of logic rather than emotion.
2. Think before I speak. I ask “For what purpose do I want to share this?” and make sure it’s for my and everyone else’s benefit before I say it.
3. Turn my dreams into goals and commit to achieving them.
4. Take action to achieve what I want. Daydreaming and thinking won’t get me anywhere. I’ve got to act.
5. Love and accept people for who and where they are. In so doing, I accept myself.
6. Surround myself with people who I can learn from.
7. Commit to lifelong learning.
8. Embrace the fact that it’s up to me. I take full responsibility for my outcomes.
9. Persevere. Keep going, especially during the tough times.
10. Live my purpose. Doing so has shifted everything in my life in a positive direction.

I live by the above each day. They are tools and principles that keep me learning, growing, and getting better. Yeah, I’m still a work in progress, but look how far I’ve come! If I can come this far, I know you can make huge strides too. Let me know what resonates with you. I’d love to hear your feedback!

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 48 -- The Big Forgiveness episode
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Few of us grew up in environments of prosperity and abundance. I certainly didn’t. And what I’ve learned over the years is that those of us who didn’t grow up in a near-constant state of prosperity have limiting beliefs around money and abundance. And we can break free from limiting situations when we can break free from their corresponding limiting beliefs.

Prosperity has to be cultivated. We have to work to create it in our lives...and the work that I’m talking about begins with changing our beliefs and focus.

In today’s episode I share five practices for cultivating prosperity in your life. Here we go…

1. Be mindful of your thoughts, especially the automatic, negative ones. Remember that the unconscious mind brings into your experience only and exclusively the essence of your focus. Use our free resources to rewrite each negative thought and limiting belief. When you begin to focus on what you want, you’ll find that you have more of the essence of that thing in your life experience. Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, put your focus on what you do want...and see what happens.
2. Be mindful of your words. Language doesn’t just label experience. Language determines experience.
3. Practice appreciation and gratitude. Start with appreciating yourself and your journey. Find things to love and appreciate about where you are right now.

You have breath in your body -- appreciate that!

Notice the beautiful things in the people around you -- appreciate them.

Find beauty in the nature around you, in your habitat, in your comfy clothes…

Notice, appreciate, and be grateful.

1. Focus on what’s going right. Notice what you do well, and celebrate the small wins. Practice making “feedback sandwiches,” where you recognize what you’re doing great, identify a small improvement that can be made, and end on another high note of praise. Keep a positive perspective by “sandwiching” what can be improved in between the good stuff.
2. Create and prosperity mantras to rewrite negative beliefs and to train your unconscious mind to embrace abundance.

In the end, this really isn’t just about money. It’s about you living your life in the way that brings you the most fulfillment. Changing your beliefs and focus will take discipline and perseverance. And you and your life’s purpose are worth the effort.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 3 -- Rewriting negative thoughts
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I’ve lost count of the number of weeks we’ve been in this pandemic, this time of elevated uncertainty. When we find ourselves in uncertain times, our minds seek security and comfort. That makes total sense, is natural, and is to be expected. We need to comfort ourselves during this time.

But what we need to be careful about is sacrificing our future happiness for feeling good in the moment.

What does happiness look like anyway? It’s easy to think that it’s the achieving of a goal, crossing some sort of finish line. But when we dig deep, we find that real happiness is found when we’re living in congruence -- that is, when our conscious and unconscious minds are aligned with the superconscious mind and are in pursuit of our life values and goals. That is true happiness. It’s not in the achieving, per se. It’s in living out who we’re meant to be.

This uncertain time, though, leaves many seeking comfort from sources that, on the other side of “enjoying” them, don’t feel good at all. Hello, eating the whole pizza, drinking the extra glass of wine, Netflix binging when there are other things to be done.

There’s no judgement here. I’ve been there too.

This is a reminder about having a future-forward focus so that we can make empowering decisions and maintain balance as we meet our need for comfort now while not losing sight of our future happiness.

These five things will help shift us from short-term “feeling good” to long-term, sustainable happiness.

1. Decide on the big things you want. Go big picture and avoid getting specific. Focus on the essence of the things you want in life.
2. Set two or three goals around things that really matter to you.
3. Every day take action to achieve those goals. Small action steps absolutely count! But take action daily, and you’ll find purpose in meaning in what you do.
4. Be mindful regarding impulses. Ask, “Is this action going to support me in the achieving of my goals?”
5. Only do things that leave you feeling good about yourself. This will help keep you mostly congruent (I aim for being congruent 90% of the time) and help maintain your forward momentum.

To you happiness! Both in this present moment and in the future.

Thanks for listening!

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As you know, a big part of my work involves harnessing the power of the unconscious mind. But retaining our focus requires a lot of repetition. It’s not hard. It just takes a time investment. After all, we’re usually having to address decades-old neural programming.

I’ve been creating a course, and part of the development process is having some clients take the material for a test drive and give me their feedback. Since the first audio in the series is addressing the unconscious mind directly and setting the stage, the audio was on the long side. 47-ish minutes long.

Can you guess the feedback I got?

“Do you have a shorter version of this?”

“I don’t have a 47-minute block of time.”

“This is too long. The kids are hungry, and the dog is barking.”

In case you don’t already know, I love getting to the bottom of things, so, naturally, I launched an investigation with four clients who “didn’t have enough time.”

Here’s what I found… “Not enough time” wasn’t the issue. They were spending time on unresourceful things. They were procrastinating, putting things off, and feeling overwhelmed. In the course of their day, there was time wasting going on.

When I dug even deeper, I uncovered this lie (prepare to reject-delete the following) -- “I’m not worth the time.” Of course, nobody actually says that, but it shows up in the form of “There are other more important things.” “I’ll do it if I can fit in.”

Dear ones, your life is precious, and you are the one -- the only one -- in charge of your life. If you want things to be different, it’s up to you to focus on what you want and to take action in that direction.

When we waste time or engage in unresourceful things, we’re just giving our power, giving away our ability to be at-cause.

Consider this -- If you want things to be different a year from now, you’ve got to start making shifts now. You absolutely can have big, beautiful change in your life. You just have to be willing to commit to doing the work. You, your dreams, your life are worth the investment.

Thanks for listening!

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Last week we talked about four common lies that can keep us feeling stuck, and we listed the truths you can use to combat those lies.

This week we’re taking on three more lies and the corresponding truths that will send the lies packing.

Why are we doing this? Because being hunkered down during coronavirus is hard. It messes with our sense of what’s normal, and it’s easy to fall prey to the negative. Hopefully the content here shifts you toward the positive and/or gives you a lightbulb moment that feels empowering. And, hey, I’m right here with you. Though I’m congruent most of the time, I have my moments, and we need to extend grace to ourselves and pack in the positive truths, especially during this time.

So let’s get to it.

• Lie #1: “You have to be, do, or have something in order to be loved.” “If only I was ________, then I could feel loved.” “When I achieve _________, then things will be different.”

No, friend, love is unconditional. You are loved already. You are loved, period. You were loved from the start. It’s not something to be earned or achieved.

Love is an inside job. Love and appreciate yourself first, and the outgrowth will be that you’ll begin to feel love from others and also love others unconditionally.

Combat the lie with this truth: You are loved. And you are love.

• Lie #2: “You don’t deserve to have what you want.”

The power of this lie stems from the idea of limitations and scarcity, ideas that were conditioned into us as young children, ideas that have been perpetuated by our negative focus. The truth is that if you can conceive it, you can achieve it.

Combat the lie with this truth: You deserve to have exactly what you want. Focus on it, and you will get there.

• Lie #3: “You’re not good enough.”

Not good enough for what? Not good enough compared to what? It’s easy for someone who grew up in a disempowered environment to believe this lie, but it’s time we recognize that lie for what it is. It’s only existing at-effect neurology that needs to get rewritten with the truth.

Combat the lie with this truth: You are good enough. You were born good enough. You will always be good enough.

I call these “lies” because they are just that -- untruths. You were born capable, worthy, loved. You were born good enough. You just were...and are. And now it's time to start believing it.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 61 -- The Lies We Tell Ourselves and the Truth to Squash Them (Part 1)

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For the last couple of episodes, we’ve talked about what beautiful things can transpire when the conscious, unconscious, and superconscious minds intersect. Most of the time, we’re not aware of the connection we have with the superconscious mind (what some call the “higher self” or the “soul”). Aware of it or not, the connection is always there.

Your superconscious mind is tapped into all of the goodness and energy of the universe. Being led by the superconscious mind is where you’ll find your highest purpose and the most fulfillment.

You may find yourself feeling inspired, desiring to see change and move in the direction of your big dreams or a higher purpose….only to find that you feel stuck.

Feeling stuck often comes from lies we tell ourselves that leave us feeling deflated and disempowered. Today’s episode addresses a few of the lies we’re prone to believe.

• Lie #1: “You can’t overcome your past mistakes.”

This lie shows up in the form of guilt and regret. To get past this lie, recognize that we’re all doing the best we can with the resources we have. That includes you too. Reframe those past mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Now that you know better, you do better.

Combat the lie with this truth: You are not your past, and you can learn from the past to make better decisions now and in the future.

• Lie #2: “You need to do it all right now.”

Hurry! Time’s wasting. Realize those goals ASAP! …. Hold on. The real power is in the process of our journey, not the product of our goal. The achievement of the goal is just the cherry on top.

Combat the lie with this truth: The process of achieving is more powerful than the achieving.

• Lie #3: “It needs to be perfect.”

Believing it needs to be perfect will keep you stuck in a mode of forever planning yet being afraid to execute on anything less than stellar. Repeat after me, “Good enough is okay.” It’s better to take action and get some momentum than to be stuck, striving to meet some unattainable ideal.

Combat the lie with this truth: Progress is real, and perfection is an illusion.

• Lie #4: “You’re not capable.”

Oh, dear friend, you are fully capable! If you can conceive it, you already have everything you need to make it happen. Use modeling as a tool to get you started, but put your own spin on it. Make it yours.

The truth: If it's been done before and you're willing to get the resources to do it, then you can do it too, and you can do it in your own unique way.

If you’re feeling stuck, see if any of these lies are holding you back. Meet them head on, armed with the truth.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 31 -- The Narrow Road to Achieving Excellence
• Episode 10 -- Achieving Your Big Goals

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We’ve talked about pattern interrupts before. It’s a tool we use in NLP to get out of neural ruts, to break out of those processes that we run automatically that aren’t serving us. A pattern interrupt is a powerful tool for retraining your unconscious mind.

In these days of hunkering at home while we wait out this virus, the universe has basically given us a big ‘ol pattern interrupt! (See my optimistic side coming out here?) Many of us have noticed some less-than-desirable things that, in our normal day-to-day routine, we were blinded to.

Hello, opportunity!

You may be seeing areas in your life where you seem to be stuck. They might be unhealthy habits or thought patterns or just that sense that you know something valuable is missing. You’re seeing, perhaps more than ever, that you’re not living your best life.

How do you know if you’re stuck? Check your….

• EMOTIONS. Are you feeling good? Where is your focus? Does what you’re focusing on feel good?
• BELIEFS. Identify beliefs that don’t serve you. Remember, you are living the essence of your beliefs.
• STRATEGIES. Become aware of how the strategies you’re running (beliefs, patterns, etc.) are dictating your results.

If you are feeling stuck, don’t despair, friend!

Now is the time to look inward and to tap into your Superconscious Mind. The Superconscious Mind is also known as your higher self, or your soul. Tap into the part of yourself that holds all your wishes, desires, all the things that you want to achieve. It’s in there. It’s part of you. And it communicates with your unconscious mind.

I know what you’re thinking. But, Brenda, if my higher self is in touch with my unconscious mind, why are those good things not my life experience right now?

Remember, the unconscious mind is at the mercy of your conscious programming. That’s why we use the conscious mind to reprogram the unconscious mind. It’s not hard. It just takes some time and repetition.

Back to turning inward…

To help you tap into the Superconscious Mind, I have an exercise for you. You could do this exercise focusing on your life as a whole or just around a single area where you feel stuck.

• Write a list of the things you want in life, including work, your relationships, experiences...
• Now, using the power of your unconscious mind (which is responsible for involuntary movements), rapidly rank your list.
• Rewrite your list in the order of importance.
• Become aware that you are in tune with your unconscious mind by recalling your childhood address or your first-grade teacher’s name -- something that you know lives in the unconscious part of the brain
• Instruct your conscious mind that your want to open communication with Superconscious Mind.
• Write, stream-of-conscious style, answering the question, “What is my purpose?” (or it could be a question related to your work/business or something else). Keep writing until you feel empty.
• Then write, answering the question, “What will living this purpose do for me?” Write until there’s nothing left.
• Then write, answering the question, “What will me living this purpose do for others?” Write until there’s nothing left.
• Then write, answering the question, “How will living this purpose make me feel?” Write until there’s nothing left.
• Put your list away for a while.
• When you come back to it, see if you can identify anything that you can take action on now. Focus especially on the how-I-would-feel part. Do something that makes you feel that way.

Tapping into your higher self is a powerful tool for getting unstuck and moving in the direction you want to go. There is power there. And it’s always with you. You just need to become aware of it.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Rupert Sheldrake’s banned TEDTalk
• Episode 15 -- a resource for identifying negative emotions
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During this pandemic, many are growing weary of being stuck at home. They’re having to adjust to a new way to life; their plans have been disrupted; there’s a lot of negativity all around; the people around us are stretched thin… It’s a hard place to be.

There’s a lot in our environment over which we have little control.

But you can control how you feel.

Really, Brenda? Even in times like this?

Yes! No head burying in the sand needed. This episode is not about denying reality or pretending life is something it’s not. It’s about taking control of your state, moment by moment.

I have a lot of tools for breaking out of negative patterns to feel better. I’ve narrowed this episode down to 7 things you can do now to not only save your sanity in this current crisis; you’ll simultaneously be setting yourself up for a more fulfilling life on the other side of all this.

1. Acknowledge negative thoughts and feelings but don’t let them run their course. Interrupt them! We’ve talked about pattern interrupts before. Get out of old, negative neural ruts by throwing a monkey wrench into mental patterns that no longer serve you. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, and then identify what you want to feel instead. Imagine the positive consequences of feeling better.
2. Practice gratitude. No matter how bleak things get, there are still things to be thankful for. Focus on those positive things. Many are holed up with family members and are feeling stir crazy. Make a list of the positive qualities of the people you’re “stuck” with -- your significant other, your kids, your in-laws -- and watch how your attitude towards them will change for the better. Remember that you can choose to focus on the positive.
3. Practice compassion. We’re all worn a bit thin. Don’t expect anyone around you to be at their best during this time, including yourself. Be patient. Have compassion on yourself and on those around you.
4. Avoid toxic people and conversations. Remember that your unconscious mind takes everything personally, so keep it positive and refuse to get sucked in by the negative rhetoric.
5. Focus on self-care. Meditate, read an uplifting or funny book, take a nap on the couch, take a bubble bath, cut off work early on Friday, bake, call a friend, garden… Do things that are uplifting to you. Make self-care a nonnegotiable during this time.
6. Remember that we’re in the midst of a crazy situation, but you are not the situation. You are so much more than that.
7. Stubbornly focus on the essence of what you want. Don’t give up your dreams. Let them fuel you during this time.

The fog will lift, friends. The sun will come out again. And when it does, if you’ve cultivated these practices during this dark time, you will shine on the other side of COVID-19.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 3 -- I first introduced the Alphabet Game
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I regularly meet with and talk with people who are living in fear. No, I’m not talking about fear of the coronavirus. These people are living in fear because they know that they are not living their purpose. They know their life could mean more, that they could feel more fulfilled.

Essentially they are living with a sense of future regret. They are afraid that they’ll one day look back with regret that they said no to their true self.

One thing all these people have in common is they know deep down that they’re special, that they have a unique purpose and a calling. We all do. Each of us is here for a reason. The more tuned in we are to our spiritual side, the easier it is to recognize when we’re on our “purpose” path and when we’re not.

I talk a lot about the conscious and unconscious mind, but in this episode, I also talk about the heart, that part of each of us that is connected to the Super Conscious Mind and gives us our drive, our passion, our desires.

In today’s episode we discuss the importance of the conscious mind, the unconscious mind, and the heart all being in balance. I’m not advocating for anyone to quit their day job to go find their purpose. Uh, no. We can be smarter and more resourceful than that. I mean, that’s kind of what I did years ago with my real estate business, and it turned out okay, but it really wasn’t the best way…

What I am arguing for is this: Don’t give up on your dreams, on the things that make you light up inside. Those impulses are there for a reason. Let them guide you (but without throwing caution to the wind).

Take cues and hints from your heart. Then use the power of your conscious mind to train your unconscious mind to filter into your experience the things that light your fire.

You can train your focus in 60 days. If you’ve spent decades focusing on the “wrong” things, it doesn’t matter. After 60 straight days of shifting your focus, you’ll be able to see the difference.

Nothing in this world can satisfy like the sense of operating within your purpose.

You’re worth it.

And the world needs you.

Thanks for listening!

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There’s no doubt about it -- COVID-19 has brought more widespread turmoil into our world than I’ve ever seen. Unless you’re a self-sufficient hermit living an unplugged lifestyle, you can’t get away from the news about what to do, what not to do, the effects, the graphs, the new rules, the fear, anguish, and anxiety.

You’ve been hearing me tell you repeatedly that you are going to bring into your experience the essence of your focus. Now what? You can’t get away from this negativity -- not without burying your head in the sand.

We are essentially living at effect. Something outside of ourselves is determining our circumstances.

if you’re a highly suggestible person like me, watch how much goes in. Of course, you need to be informed, but don’t feed the fear all day long. Exercise restraint around how much you let in.

Recognize that you’re at effect and out of balance. When that happens, there’s tension in the body, begging for some certainty, belonging, safety...for the sense that “everything is going to be okay.”

So comfort is a top priority.

When you’re looking for comfort, be judicious. You want to indulge in an activity that is going to make you feel better on the other side -- not worse!

Some of us have a history of finding comfort in unhealthy ways -- like eating unhealthy foods, smoking, drinking, etc. Those old neural patterns are still there. So watch out for falling into old patterns. Seek comfort from sources that will actually feel good after you’ve indulged in them.

You could…

• Read a book
• Go for a walk
• Journal
• Sneak away from the kids for a couple of minutes to meditate in the bathroom
• Cook something
• Call a friend or family member.
• Practice morning and evening routines. This brings a much needed sense of control and stability.

Another priority is controlling your state, which is something you always have control over. Controlling your state is not a one-and-done practice. It’s something that happens in the moment to help you shift toward positive feelings.

• Use “reject, delete” as a pattern interrupt.
• Play the ABC game. Do this with your kids!

Focus on the now, but try to do it in a way that's going to be resourceful for you in a way that's going to serve you in the long term.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 50 -- We learned about controlling the controllables
• Episode 15 -- Stress and letting go
• Episode 24 -- The Power of Words on the Brain
• Episode 3 -- Rewriting Negative Thoughts

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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So you’ve decided you’re not happy with something (or maybe many things) in your current life, and you want to make a change.

You get inspired by me or by some other motivating person. Maybe you read a self-help book or attend a conference. Maybe you hire a coach, go on a retreat, or join an online group.

At some point you finish the book, or the conference or retreat ends, or you walk out the doors of your coaching session.

And then reality hits.

No one else can make the change for you. It’s up to you.

This episode is about how to follow through with your intentions instead of getting sucked back into comfortable patterns that will keep you stuck.

Whenever you want to make a change, there’s an internal tug-of-war going on between two sides of yourself. There’s the you who wants to change. Then there’s the you who prefers the ease of what’s always been. After all, doing the same thing is predictable, comfortable, and, though it might not be great, it’s familiar.

Some things to help you follow through with your aspirations…

• Remember that old habits and limiting beliefs are nothing more than patterns. They’re powerful, though, because once you’re in the middle of a pattern, it’s nearly impossible to get out of it. The key is to anticipate the triggers that set a pattern into motion, and then interrupt that pattern as soon as you recognize what’s happening.
• Pay attention to your language. Are you making disempowering statements? By listening to your language (that includes your thoughts too!), you’ll be cued in to the orientation of your mindset -- away-from or toward. It might seem like a small thing, but it matters. Your focus needs to be on the positive if you want more good things in your life.
• Hang out with people whose goals are aligned with yours. If you’re spending lots of time with away-from-motivated people, you’ll easily get sucked back into that negative mentality. Keep your environment positive.
• Be patient with yourself. Replacing old neural patterns with new ones takes time.
• Do something daily that you’re proud of, no matter how small.
• Love yourself through the change process. Celebrate your small wins. They’re important in building your momentum and building a foundation for bigger goals. So celebrate those achievements.

The bottom line is that the desire for change has to be greater than the allure of staying in what is comfortable. You can do it by loving yourself, knowing you’re worth it, and believing in yourself enough to get it done.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 4 -- Toward and away-from motivation
• Episode 22 -- Using Language to Achieve Desired Outcomes
• Episode 31 -- The Narrow Road to Achieving Excellence
• Wayne Dyer
• Lead the Field by Earl Nightingale
• Tony Robbins

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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It feels good to get this one out. I’ve been holding onto this episode for a while now, waiting until the time felt right. And its time has finally come.

Most of you have heard my story by now and know that I’ve had to overcome some pretty big hurdles to get where I am today. My clients are the same way. We all have stuff from our past that, if dwelt upon, would just leave us stuck. I’m talking about bad experiences, wrongs committed against us, bad luck, injustices, accidents -- all of that.

But that was then and this is now.

By holding onto past injuries, we rob ourselves of the present life we could be living. If we ruminate on past injustices and stew in bitterness or feelings of helplessness, we’re just reliving those old memories and reactivating neural patterns of pain and negativity. To our unconscious mind, we’re reliving the past, reinjuring ourselves, over and over again.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I’m living proof, as are my clients. And you can be too.

To get out of the negative past and into the positive present…

• Forgive. Do it for yourself. Holding onto anger and resentment doesn’t hurt anyone but you. Forgiveness isn’t condoning a wrong. It’s refusing to let an event from the past continue to reap negative effects in your life. For more on
• Recognize when you get triggered and break out of those old neural patterns. There are many ways to get out of neural ruts. Sing a song, talk directly to your unconscious mind, do a dance. But don’t take the easy path and keep running the same paralyzing script you have been.
• Control your state. By putting yourself in a positive state, you’ll be more resourceful about shifting your focus to the things you want, to the life you want to live, to the person you want to be. Controlling your state puts you in the driver’s seat -- not your past experiences.
• Remember that this is the present moment. You are here; you’re not stuck in the past. You have choices that you can make right now to make this moment a positive one.

Your past experiences, even the bad ones, contain valuable learnings that can deepen your wisdom and broaden your perspective. Moving past those past experiences doesn’t mean they’re invalid, that they didn’t happen, or that they have no value. It just means they don’t have an emotional hold on you anymore. The past doesn’t need to negatively affect your outcomes. You can get on a positive path and build a beautiful life, free from the past, starting now.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 15 -- We learned about loosening the charge of negative emotions of past experiences
• Episode 50 -- We learned about controlling the controllables -- your state
• Episode 48 -- The big forgiveness episode

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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We’re social creatures, and we have an innate need to connect with others. But did you ever notice that one of the ways many people connect with others is through complaining? Girlfriends like to get together and gripe about their husbands. Golf buddies complain about work and business. The elderly complain about aches and pains. Parents complain about their difficult children.

Social complaining is an easy trap to fall into.

It’s a trap because falling into complaining focuses the mind on...you guessed it. The negative. And you know what happens when you focus on something. You get more of it!

Complaining is really just self-sabotage.

The act of complaining is detrimental in many ways. It focuses the mind on the negative, reinforcing those negative neural networks. Focusing on problems just strengthens our negativity bias, which stems from the most primitive part of our brain, activating the fight-flight response and all the bodily responses that come with that -- increased blood pressure, increased blood sugar, increased cortisol levels…

Research is also finding that complaining can affect the hippocampus, which is no laughing matter, as two of its functions are problem solving and thinking critically.

Rather than focusing on our problems, we need to focus on solutions.

• Start by recognizing that if there are things in your life that you don’t like, it’s because of your focus. You create your environment based on your focus.
• Be picky about who you hang out with. Limit your time with those engaging in disempowering, unresourceful behavior and talk. Seek supportive, uplifting company.
• Stop complaining and focus on the positive things in your life. Look at life through the lens of abundance.
• Engage in solution-based thinking.
• Take action in the direction of what you want to achieve.

Life happens, and no one is perfect. Even I catch myself complaining every now and then. The key is to catch yourself, to recognize what’s happening, and course correct as soon as possible. Complaining is a sign that you’re at effect and that you need to refocus to get at cause.

It’s simple, but it’s not easy. And you’re worth it.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Today we’re talking about an important investment. No, I’m not talking about finances today. I’m talking about something much, much more important than that. The most important investment in your life. It’s you. We’re talking about investment in self.

I know, I know... Reading that probably rubs you the wrong way. The problem is that we’re conditioned to think that focusing on self means being self-absorbed. That is absolutely incorrect. When you take care of your needs first, only then can you bring your best to the people -- to the world -- around you.

When you’re focused on responding to the needs of those around you, you’re going to find yourself running on empty with little to nothing of substance to give to those around you.

Oh, and you’ll likely be frustrated, pouty, discouraged, or in a funk...wishing your circumstances and/or the people around you would change.

What you’re really longing for is control of yourself. And no one can give you that...but you.

Let’s play a little mind game.

Here’s scenario #1. You want things to change -- to start that business, have a better relationship with your partner, get in shape -- but you do nothing. You’re just going to wait for now and hope the situation will get better with time.

Now imagine things 1 week from now, 1 month from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now... Has anything changed? How do you feel?

Here’s scenario #2. You decide to focus on one or two key aspects of personal development and really do the work to grow.

Now visualize the results. Imagine how things might be different 1 month from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. How does it feel?

Here’s scenario #3. You create a lifestyle of focusing on your personal growth and development, creating time to focus on continual personal improvement.

Imagine the repercussions from this type of focus on self 1 month from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, 20 years from now. How does it feel?

Which scenario would make you happiest? Which scenario would benefit those you love most? Which scenario would be best for the world?

“Okay, okay, Brenda, you’ve made your point. But how can I actually make that happen?”

The formula is simple, but it’s not easy.

1. Focus on self-care. Eat well; sleep well; pray or meditate; connect with yourself; and be patient with yourself.
2. Identify one thing you want to change. Maybe that will mean focusing on one thing. Maybe it will mean creating balance by giving attention whatever is most out of balance at any given moment.
3. Decide on a measurable (preferably small), achievable goal.
4. Take action. Make sure that you’re in a positive state. This will help reflect goods things back to you. Celebrate your success and build momentum.

We’re not designed to stay stagnant. We’re designed to move, to grow, to create, to impact. It all starts with you taking care of you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Purely Positive Quiz
• Make sure you check out our free resources

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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We’re more than a month into the new year. How are you doing on your New Year’s Resolutions? If you’re like most of us, you’ve hit some bumps in the road.

Maybe you’ve lacked consistency. Maybe you’re feeling discouraged. Or maybe you’re feeling like you bit off more than you can chew and you’re ready to throw in the towel. To that, I say NO WAY! Reject-delete that idea.

You started out with a clean slate and a lot of excitement and momentum...and now it’s getting really tough. Why? Because our old neurological patterns typically outperform that desire to create change.

But that doesn’t mean those patterns can’t be changed. It just means that wishing for them to change is not enough. We have to take action.

So today we’re talking about how to keep going when the going gets tough. No, it’s not just you. Anyone who is trying to make changes has the same uphill battle. The key is to keep taking action consistently and repeatedly.

When you’re trying to implement new habits and reach goals…

• Remember that you’re dealing with old programming that was handed down to you. Though it was imparted to you with the best of intentions, some of it likely needs to be changed. “Putting self first” is a relatively new idea that we all need to adopt so that we can, first, be our best and, then, bring our best to the world. We’ll serve best when we are at our best. And that means putting you first.
• You’ve got to remember that creating new patterns and habits means creating new pathways in the brain. You’re running against the ingrained neurology and patterns that you’ve been running for years. To get out of those ruts is going to take work. Repeated work. Lots of repetitions.

As you take action in the direction you want to go, you will run into obstacles, and you’ll be tempted to skip your new routine for today...and then two days in a row. Next thing you know, you’ll have skipped a week. Then it’s a scramble to get back on the bandwagon!

Instead, when you hit those obstacles, don’t budge. Push against that boundary of the comfort zone. Keep pushing ahead. The breakthrough will come. It will come more quickly and easily if you push through it rather than see-sawing your way back and forth between change and old patterns. Keep yourself in a toward-motivated mindset and posture, continuing to take action.

It’s worth it. YOU are worth it. Growth and change are on the other side.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• BrendaTerryNLP.com

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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I’ve told you before how there’s often a uniform undercurrent in my work with my clients, a subject or a theme that most of them are working on. Right now that theme is confidence. And confidence is all about taking action.

It’s easy to confuse self-esteem with confidence, as the two do go together, yet they’re different. So let’s review…

Think of self-esteem as the set of beliefs you have about yourself. Self-esteem is a regard for self that has been developed over time and is an outgrowth of your experiences and what you’ve learned. Your self-esteem is directly related to your sense of self-worth.

Confidence is the sense of knowing that you can do something well. It is an outgrowth of action. It’s an outgrowth of learning, of hard work, of practicing and honing your skillset.

Perhaps the ultimate sense of confidence is in knowing that you can learn whatever you set your mind to learn. That valuable skill can breed success over and over and over again.

To build confidence…

Remember that you are unique. Nobody can do exactly what you do in the way you do it. Even if you model others who have been successful, you’ll be putting own own personal spin on everything you do. So don’t waste your time and energy comparing yourself to others. Just focus on honing your craft and on being the best you that you can be. The world needs you.

Accept compliments. I know it’s hard, but drop the urge to divert the attention, to downplay your achievements, or to give someone else the credit. Instead, genuinely thank those who recognize your contribution, accept a pat on the back, and use that momentum to keep moving forward.

Interrupt negative self-talk. Remember our discussion on rewriting negative beliefs? Negative self-talk is toxic. When you become aware of falling into those negative neural patterns, don’t beat yourself up. The negativity bias is just part of being human. Our brain’s top priority is to protect us, so it naturally is looking out for dire situations. That’s why we have to work at positivity. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. And it’s definitely worth it.

Take action. Confidence is directly related to the actions you take. It’s okay to start small. Little action steps will build your confidence. The important thing is to start.

As you take the steps above your self-esteem and your confidence will increase. And confidence in one area will breed confidence in other areas of your life. Growth breeds growth. Confidence breeds confidence. You’ve got this.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 40 -- We talked about our unique gifts and impostor syndrome
• Episode 3 -- We learned about rewriting negative thoughts
• Check out the Purely Positive Quiz

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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You’ve heard me talk about the Mathematical Theory of Communication a time or two. Okay, it’s probably more than that. But it’s for good reason, as you’ll see in today’s episode.

We talk about being at cause, about living the life you want to live, about creating your own reality essentially...and all that stems from harnessing your 50 to 60 bits of information.

What 50 to 60 bits? Here’s a quick refresher. Your unconscious mind processes 2 to 11 million bits of information per second while your conscious mind only processes 50 to 60 of those bits. Only 50 to 60 of those bits reach your awareness.

Here’s the kicker -- you get to choose which 50 to 60 bits reach your awareness. This is powerful, because your internal representations -- how you interpret outside events -- is determined by those 50 to 60 bits.

Now, we all have a negativity bias. Our brain is designed to protect us, to look out for the bad stuff, to anticipate worst-case scenarios. If we want to see the positive, we’ve got to focus on the positive. And we need to work at it to counter that negativity bias.

By consistently shifting your focus, you’ll notice positive change in your overall life experience.

It all begins with focusing the conscious mind on what you want, which, when repeated often enough, directs the unconscious mind to reflect in your experience the object of the focus. The bottom line -- the unconscious mind will filter to your conscious mind what you’ve been focusing on. In essence, you’ll be choosing those 50 to 60 bits that come into your consciousness.

Where to start?

• Watch your language.

• The things you hear that come into your consciousness are a reflection of negative talk on the inside. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want.

• Watch what you say to others. Your unconscious mind takes everything personally, and complaints are just an invitation for more negative things to come into your awareness. So keep it positive.

• Watch what you say and believe about yourself. It all starts and ends with you. The people in our lives are merely a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. When you see beauty and awesomeness in others, it’s a reflection of what’s inside of you. Pause and bask in that reality.

• Notice your environment. After all, it’s a reflection of your inward state. When things aren’t going well, shift your focus. When things are going great, recognize that you did it!

• Choose your trance. As Milton Erickson said, “Everybody is in a trance.” We’re all filtering life through a set of beliefs. Get in rapport with yourself and decide what you want to believe. You can choose your trance!

Doing the above will help you control the controllables -- those 50 to 60 bits coming to your consciousness each second.

When you’re controlling the controllables, you can see the best in your children, find the positive things in that once annoying coworker, see the love in your partner’s gaze, and stop blaming external factors when things go awry.

No one else can choose those powerful bits for you but you. It has to come from you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Have you taken the purely positive quiz yet?

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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For the last couple of weeks we’ve been talking about decluttering our physical and mental spaces. Today we’re continuing that discussion, especially as it relates to carving out time and space for you -- for your goals, for your dreams, for your growth to become the person you want to be.

After all, if you don’t plan your time and decide what you’re going to focus on, chances are someone else will do it for you. There was a time when that was okay. That’s what all good adults do for the children in their care. They plan their time. They tell them what not to do, what to do, how and when to do it.

The result is that we get accustomed to complying to the wishes of others, to saying yes, even when we think we know better.

And let’s be honest, when you were a kid, you probably didn’t know better, and you learned that things went better for you when you just did what you were told.

But now you’re an adult. And you know you better than anyone else. It no longer makes sense to say yes when it’s better for you to say no.

In today’s episode, you’ll hear the story about my client who said yes when she knew she should say no. The result wasn’t pretty, but it was a great learning opportunity for her.

See, in the moment, it’s easier to do the “easy” thing and say yes, even when we know better. Why? Because it feels like it will be easier to deal with our own internal objections later than the face-to-face objections of others in real time. We’re putting off social discomfort now for internal discomfort later.

But there’s almost always a higher price to pay. There ends up being unanticipated fallout from those unwanted yeses. Sometimes those unwanted yeses snowball and have lasting, detrimental effects.

So let’s not go there.

The key is to say yes to you first and to look for win-win scenarios along the way. If you say yes when there’s no win-win...you’re ultimately saying no to you.

In today’s episode, we talk a lot about boundaries. Boundaries help us stay true to ourselves -- our values, our goals, our beliefs, and who we want to become.

It’s important to pay attention to our emotions -- especially the negative ones -- as our emotions let us know when our values are being violated.

Of course, we might be holding onto a value that doesn’t serve us, as I once did in my relationship with Ron. Again, emotions cue us in what our values are and when they’re violated. Once the emotions subside, take a broad-view perspective and see if those values are worth holding on to, if they really serve you, or if you should work on changing them.

Here’s to you, to your boundaries, and to saying no so that you can say yes to your best self.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 8 -- we talked about values that no longer serve us
• Purely Positive Quiz

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Last week we talked about decluttering physical and mental spaces. Well, this week, we’re addressing an important part of mental decluttering -- decluttering old hurts. We’re talking about forgiveness.

We’ve all been wronged. Sometimes they’re little offenses. Other times they’re big, hurtful, life-jarring events that rock our world and our faith in humanity. You know the ones I’m talking about.

How can we move in a positive direction with events like that percolating underneath the surface?

Well, it starts with forgiveness. Without it, we’ll continue to replay negative events, focus on lost opportunities, and pine for could-have-beens… That’s no way to move forward with meaning and purpose.

So, what is forgiveness anyway?

• Forgiveness is about letting go.
• Forgiveness is for you -- not the perpetrator of the offense. After all, harboring bitterness and resentment hurts you way more than it could ever hurt the perpetrator. Forgiveness is for you. It’s how we move beyond the painful past to a productive, positive, happier present and future.
• Forgiveness is a process of peeling back layers of hurt.
• Forgiveness is a decision to let awful moments stay in the past and consciously choose to focus attention elsewhere.
• Forgiveness is openness to be in the present and not react through a lens of anger or resentment.
• Forgiveness is not letting the past keep us from obtaining the future we desire.

Here are some things that forgiveness is NOT.

• It’s not stuffing down negative emotions or pretending the offense or event didn’t happen.
• It’s not condoning, minimizing, or excusing.
• It’s not permission to continue hurtful behaviors.
• It’s not reconciliation. That’s a completely separate decision.
• It’s not acting like life should continue as it was before the incident. You have greater awareness now, and that will change how you do life.

There are three parts of forgiveness:

1. Make the decision to forgive.
2. Let go of the negative emotions around the people and the event involved.
3. Stop activating the neural networks, meaning stop replaying and focusing on the event and the subsequent hurt.

Who do we need to forgive?

• Those who have hurt us
• Those who are no longer in our lives because of death, divorce, or disagreement
• Those who we love and with whom we want to maintain a deep connection
• Ourselves

An important thing to remember about the unconscious mind…

Your unconscious mind is never going to judge what you’re thinking. Instead, it’s going to take what you’re focusing on, create a filter for it, and bring that into your experience. This is why you don’t want to focus on past hurts. You’ve had enough of that already, right? Not forgiving can just perpetuate the essence of that bad experience.

To get started on the path to forgiveness, make sure you check out the download for the Ho'oponopono-based “prayer” that will help you direct your unconscious mind to really let go of the past so that you can embrace a better today and a more positive tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Ho'oponopono-based prayer download
• Have you taken the Purely Positive Quiz?

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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The New Year is a great time to declutter...and for good reason. We’re making plans and setting goals, but if we have cluttered minds and spaces, our results are going to be seriously hampered. When we have cluttered physical spaces, they’re a reflection of cluttered mental spaces. Our mental clarity will increase when we can get rid of that clutter.

That bears repeating. To gain mental clarity, we need to get rid of the mental clutter. And that will be easier to do as we clean up our physical spaces.

This episode is about gaining ground with physical clutter, so that we can then deal with mental clutter, thus gaining more clarity of mind.

It can be tempting to go on decluttering binges and try to tackle everything at once. Nope. That’s not what we’re trying to do here. Ditch the all-or-nothing mindset. What we want is a disciplined approach to creating sustainable clarity and balance. So no blitzing and bingeing. We’re going for chipping away at the clutter and building habits that support clean, clear spaces -- both physical and mental ones.

Here’s my five-step process for doing just that.

Step 1: In NLP, we talk about unconscious spaces. We all have them. Unconscious spaces are those places in our environment that are mostly out of our awareness. They are places that tend to become dumping grounds for clutter. It might be a kitchen junk drawer, your bedroom closet, your nightstand, the trunk of your car. It could be your purse or the desktop on your computer. Or all of the above!

Identify those unconscious spaces and make a schedule for decluttering them -- focusin on one at a time -- for a specific amount of time each day or each week, whatever is sustainable for you. Stick with it until it’s free from clutter, and then celebrate your success.

Step 2: Declutter your digital spaces. I’m talking about your computer, your phone, your tablet -- and any other digital devices you use. Unused apps and screenshots -- get rid of the digital load that is slowing down your device and getting in the way of your productivity. Deal with cluttered inboxes, and unsubscribe to email lists that no longer serve you.

Step 3: Limit media consumption. I’m talking about social media and news media. Few realize the real impact of this mental clutter. Make careful selections, paying attention to the language being used, avoiding negative content, and embracing positive content that you trust.

Step 4: Commit to finishing what you start. I get just as excited about starting a new project as you do. Trust me. That’s way it’s easy for people like us to jump into another project before finishing the one we’re in the middle of! The problem is that our focus gets scattered. You’ll get more done when you focus on one thing at a time. So have the end goal in mind, know what the last step looks like, and power through till you complete it. And don’t forget to celebrate your success!

Step 5: Let your internal focus be greater than your external focus. Limit comparing yourself to others. Focus on the goodness in you and on being a better, more empowered version of yourself. Live your life at cause. You really can be in control of your life.

These steps will help you gain clarity and embrace positive change, putting you more squarely in the driver’s seat.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 9 -- We learned about the Comparison Trap
• Episode 32 -- We learning about overwhelm
• Check out the Purely Positive Quiz

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Last week we talked about rising above the need to be right. The episode was aimed at the more talkative, assertive ones among us. Today we’re talking about the opposite -- when to speak up for yourself. This episode is primarily for the quiet ones who tend to hold their cards close to their chest.

As children, many of us were expected to “not talk back” to authority figures. That strategy has its place when you’re a child, but once you’re an adult, it’s important -- for others and for yourself -- that you make your thoughts and feelings known...when it comes to certain topics, and at appropriate times.

Here’s why.

Speaking up for yourself…

• Gives others a chance to understand you.
• Gives others a chance to explain themselves and clear up any confusion.
• Gives others a chance to meet your expectations.
• Removes any doubt about whether or not you approve of the other party’s beliefs or behavior

I’m not implying that you should expect something in exchange for your honesty. Don’t expect the other party to change, agree, or to comply.

The act of speaking up is purely for yourself and for your personal growth. It’s about honoring yourself, your beliefs, and your values.

When considering speaking up for yourself, timing is extremely important. If you’re in the midst of a heated discussion, don’t even think about doing it then. When emotions are high, it’s unlikely that either party is in a calm, rational place. Save it for when the emotions have subsided and you’ve gotten clarity on the situation.

Then, if you still deem it appropriate to share, and if you believe it will bring clarity to the situation, do so in a nonjudgmental way, not expecting a response from the other party.

There are times when should always speak up. When a boundary has been crossed or when your beliefs are challenged in a way that leaves you feeling disempowered, you need to take action. When a boundary has been crossed, you know it inside. There’s often a felt-reponse in the body. Don’t ignore that sensation.

Finally, speaking up for yourself in a sign -- to yourself and others -- of self-respect. Others can only respect you to the degree that you respect yourself.

Navigating the waters of if, how, and when to stand up for yourself takes clarity of mind, and it takes practice. You’ll get better at it by doing it. The key is to know yourself, know your beliefs, know your boundaries, and then respect those. You can do this. You -- and everyone else involved -- will benefit.

Thanks for listening!

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Are you finding yourself being more social this time of year? Seeing extended family you haven’t seen in a while? Going to holiday parties and get-togethers? Once the small talk is over, we sometimes find ourselves in conversations that can get...tense. You know the ones I’m talking about. It happens to some of us more than others.

Too many of us find our self-worth in being right. This compels us to share what we know and, when we get resistance or pushback, we get defensive, tend to dig in our heels, and stand our ground. We might even get loud and monopolize the air space as we try to convince others of our line of thinking.

If we can become self-aware enough, we’ll realize that our pulse is elevated, our breathing is more quick, more shallow, and the adrenaline is flowing. We’re in that fight-flight mode.

When that happens, the prefrontal cortex, the logical part of the brain, has taken a backseat to the more primitive part of the brain. Reason goes out the window. We’re in full-blown defensive mode, which is not a great way to listen, make connections, and build relationships.

In full-blown fight-flight mode, we’re limited to four responses: fight, hide, flee, and submit/appease.

Nobody wants to have such limited choices, and no real, positive growth or change can result from those defensive responses. So how can you keep from putting yourself and others in that position?

Here’s a three-part strategy for letting go of the need to be right and better connect with others:

1. Recognize that being right is not an irrefutable fact, and it doesn’t mean you win. Similarly, being wrong doesn’t mean you lose.

Human connection opens the neural networks of the prefrontal cortex, giving you a greater ability to focus, to understand, and to predict the consequences of your actions.

Remember that people process information in varying ways. So be patient with yourself and with others.

1. If you can stay out of fight-flight mode, try “putting on the hat” of the other person’s belief system. Imagine what it’s like to be them, to believe what they believe. Try to identify with them and find common ground.

Exploring shades of gray on the spectrum between two extremes will open you to new ideas and will bring greater flexibility to your thinking. The more flexibility you have, the greater your influence will be.

1. Focus on the big picture. What do you really want out of the conversation? What is the goal of the exchange? Staying flexible will help you lead the conversation from a logical place that will serve everyone involved.

The bottom line is we want and need connection more than we need to be right. Focus on fostering connection, and, in the process, we’ll be able to approach relationships from a more logical, reasonable, less emotional place, elevating all involved out of the fight-flight reptile responses.

Thanks for listening!

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We’re approaching a new year -- a new decade! -- and it’s not too early to start making plans and setting goals. In fact, I like to start this process in October so that, by January, my goals have incubated, and I’m raring to go when the new year hits.

But don’t let the timing of things throw you off. You might be on a different cycle. If you like to plan your goals at the beginning of spring or before the school year -- totally fine. This material is here when it’s the right time for you.

Start by sizing up the last year.

• How did it go for you? Did it meet your expectations? Did you get out of your comfort zone? Did you play a bigger game? Did you embrace what you want? Take time to think about these things and write down your answers.
• What worked? What didn’t work? Where can you improve? What resources did you add to your toolbox? What did you learn? What role did you play in both your successes and your setbacks?
• What people made a positive impact on your life? What do they have that you want to develop in yourself? Remember, you can’t recognize greatness in others if it’s not in yourself! Let that sink in...

The above exercise is about becoming hyper aware of your goodness and of your power to control your destiny. What you want and who you want to be is inside of you already!

Now you should be feeling good, empowered, and ready to set some goals. Commit to achieving three big goals in the coming year. Your goals should be...

• Specific
• Measurable
• Meaningful to you
• Achievable
• Time-based
• Toward what you want
• Personal and specific to you. Your goals shouldn’t depend on anyone else.

Now, the person who can achieve your desired goals is likely different from the person you are today. Who is the person you’ll need to become to accomplish your goals? You might need to learn new skills, build new habits or patterns, stop some unresourceful practices, limit exposure to negative people. Your work is to adopt behaviors that will help you reach your goals. Once you’ve designed your plan, it’s time to take action.

When you encounter obstacles -- which you will -- remember that obstacles are signs that you’re moving closer to your goal. They’re part of the process, part of the journey of becoming who you were meant to be.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 35 -- We talked about the ecology check
• Episode 42 -- We learned about beliefs

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The holidays are upon us! Some of us feel excited. Some feel dread. Some feel overwhelmed. Others are on edge.

Let’s not lose sight of what the holiday season is about!

Today’s episode is a refresher on how to stay positive and how to get through the holiday season with a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

The bustling season can sometimes really knock us out of balance. We tend to be in our little bubble, working on our stuff, doing our thing, and then -- bam! It’s time for parties and dinners; we’re out of our healthy habits and routines; we’re seeing family and friends we don’t frequently rub elbows with; we’re “dealing” with lots of different personalities… How to stay grounded?

First, chunk up and get the big-picture perspective. What is this season about anyway? It’s about connecting with people who are different from us. It’s about finding common ground. It’s about family, togetherness, love.

Now for some practice tips for getting through the holiday season in a congruent, feeling-good way:

• Only do what you can comfortably do. And nothing more.
• Take care of yourself first. Your presence and your time are the most precious gifts you can give. So tend to you first.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. We’re all unique. That’s what makes us special. Let go of perceived expectations and just do you.
• Do the holidays in your own way. For me, that means skipping the holiday gift giving -- at least for the adults in my life. For you, it may be something else.
• Realize and notice that each one is unique. The holidays are not about inserting your opinions or beliefs. It’s about coming together.
• Only consume media that feels good. This might mean avoiding the news.
• Actively look for the good in others.
• Actively look for the good in yourself and celebrate you!
• Reflect over the year and celebrate your wins. Even the “little” wins like that happy sweater purchase or the newly painted mailbox counts.
• Start your day with good intentions. This might be the best return you can get for the time spent.

Of course, despite our best intentions, there will be hiccoughs along the way. Here’s how to deal with negative events or situations and keep them from co-opting your day -- or your holiday:

• Remind your unconscious mind of what you’re trying to achieve by saying/thinking, “Unconscious mind, you know the difference between suggestions that are good, positive, and healthy for me and those that are not. From now on, only allow suggestions that are good, positive, and healthy for me like _____” and you fill in the blank.
• When someone says something that you don’t like or you see something you don’t like, think, “Reject, delete.” Get it out of your consciousness as quickly as you can, and get back to the positive stuff.

With these practices, you’re armed with the tools you need to have a rockin’ holiday...and to play a positive role in helping those around you have a wonderful holiday too!

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 42 -- We learned that beliefs are nothing more than ideas, stories we tell ourselves.
• Episode 33 -- Daily Habits for Having a Great Day
• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Check out our Purely Positive Quiz!

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Your beliefs -- good or bad -- are guiding your life experience.

A problem is that it’s our unexamined beliefs wreak havoc and dictate the quality of our life experience.

Why? Because we probably don’t even realize that some of our beliefs are beliefs. We assume those beliefs are facts when, in reality, they’re just ideas. They’re nothing more than stories in our heads.

Remember, what you believe and repeat often enough, your unconscious mind will, via the reticular activating system, filter out and deliver to you. So you might as well believe good stuff. Right?

There are three types of beliefs:

• Fundamental beliefs. These are powerful, die-hard beliefs that you learned as a child. They drive your expectations, your behavior, and your results. They’re the guiding principles you live by -- whether you like them or not.
• Newly adopted beliefs. These are the beliefs that you’ve grown into as you’ve matured and experienced the world for yourself. They’re not as deeply rooted as the fundamental beliefs. They’re newer, fresher, more fragile.
• Conflicting beliefs. This is what happens when new and old beliefs contradict one another. It’s what happens when new data conflicts with old neurology. Unless sorted out, conflicting beliefs will leave us paralyzed, confused, and feeling stuck.

The challenge is to make sure your beliefs feel good, serve you, and move your life in your desired direction. You can create your own beliefs. You can change your beliefs. Beliefs happen in the mind before you experience them in your environment. The process of changing beliefs requires patience, dedication, and repetition.

To make sure your beliefs are serving you…

1. Make a list of your fundamental beliefs. What are your beliefs about other people? What are your beliefs about yourself? About prosperity? About the future?
2. Identify whether those listed beliefs serve you. Do they make you feel good?
3. For the beliefs that don’t serve you, ask, “How is this belief limiting me?”
4. Ask, “What would I like to believe instead?”
5. Answer the question, “How will this new belief serve me?”

It will be some time before you see evidence of your new belief, but don’t let that bother or deter you. Just focus on the big picture and on the outcomes you want...and once you change your beliefs, you’ll change your reality.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 1 — We learned about the reticular activating system

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“I know you talk about it all the time, but what is the unconscious mind again?”

The unconscious mind is your power center that’s controlling things in the background. You don’t go around reminding yourself to breathe. The unconscious mind handles that for you. It’s also keeping straight which is the brake and gas pedal, how to ride a bike, what your phone number is, your children’s birthdays, all your memories...and so, so much more!

The unconscious mind processes boatloads of information every single second so that the conscious part of the mind can focus on just the (relatively) few things that are filtered in by your focus. Otherwise, we would live in overwhelm and overload.

So, in the end, whatever comes into your consciousness originates in the unconscious mind and is then filtered out into your awareness.

This is why it’s so important that you manage what goes in.

Some important things to remember:

• The unconscious mind loves repetition. The things you focus on frequently are what the unconscious mind will latch onto.
• The unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. This is why positive, toward language is so important. If you “don’t want to get sick,” you’re unconscious mind hears “get sick”. Focusing on the positive, on “being healthy.” is way more useful.
• The unconscious mind takes everything personally. If you’re thinking or talking about someone else, the unconscious mind thinks it’s you. So watch what you think and say. If you bad mouth your neighbor, your colleagues, your spouse, from your unconscious mind’s perspective, you’re essentially beating up on yourself. Keep it constructive and positive.
• Emotion always wins with the unconscious mind. This is why it’s important to recognize and combat negative and limiting beliefs.

In NLP, we say that what you see, hear, speak, and feel is what you’ll get. This is why it’s so important that you guard what comes in and what you focus on.

• One place to especially watch out is social media. Carefully choose what media to consume. Make sure it’s positive and that it leaves you feeling good.
• Similarly, engage in conversations that are positive and that feel good. Sure, tough conversations need to happen from time to time, but as a general rule, avoid conversations that leave you feeling disempowered.
• Don’t talk about your problems. This just serves to reinforce neurology around the problems. Solutions will be found by getting out of the problem and to broader perspective.

The truth is that we’re unconsciously programming our unconscious minds every day with what we expose ourselves to. So make a conscious decision to create an environment that is positive and resourceful and that will serve you as you move forward.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 — We learned about the reticular activating system
• Episode 2 — The Power of Perception
• Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 38 — Taming the perfectionist self

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Impostor syndrome. You know what that is, right? It’s when you’re in your space and having success but you feel like a phoney. Like a fraud who’s about to be outed. Like you can’t really take credit for your achievements. That it was actually just luck all along. Or coincidence.

Imposter syndrome can happen to the best of us. I recognized it in myself at a conference recently. “Who am I to be teaching people about self-development?” It was uncomfortable at the time, it but turned into a beautiful experience of releasing negative emotions and shifting focus.

That came after announcing over the microphone to all the attendees what was going on with me.

No, I’m not kidding. It was a sweet release as I squarely addressed my own phantom fears. You’ll have to tune in to learn more…

So, yeah, impostor syndrome is real. I often see it in my clients too. Impostor syndrome creates issues around the notions of competence, confidence, and criticism.

• Competence. Where did you get the idea that you need to know it all to be competent? No one can know it all. And no one needs to know it all. The idea is ludicrous, right? You know that. So why let yourself feel small and incompetent when you realize you don’t know something? Competence is about learning along the way. And you can only learn by giving yourself permission to fail and get back up and try again.

• Confidence. Everyone has moments of self-doubt. Instead of letting those moments put you in a funk of low self-esteem, recognize that self-doubt is normal. Ask, what could I change about this situation to feel more confident? Is there an opportunity for me to learn and feel more confident?

• Criticism.

• First recognize that the fear of criticism is nothing more than the fear of rejection.

• Consider the source of the criticism. Is the critic in a resourceful place? Do they know what they’re talking about?

• Remember that perception is projection. If there is no truth whatsoever in a piece of criticism you receive, you won’t even notice it. It won’t register. But if it stings, if you have a reaction — be it strong or mild — you should investigate it. In what way is this criticism true? Because remember, the unconscious mind will project back to you what’s inside.

Once you’ve recognized impostor syndrome for what it is, take time to give yourself some credit. Recognize your achievements, your contributions, your uniqueness. It’s important that you do that. You need to congratulate yourself to keep your conscious and unconscious minds working together on the same goals. That’s how stuff gets done. That’s where the real successes happen. When you’re reaping success from that congruency, recognize it, celebrate it so that it continues to happen.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 — We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 — We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 34 — We talked about deserving and that, yes, you do deserve good things.
• Episode 4 — We learned about toward and away-from motivation

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Change is hard, no matter its source. Some types are harder than others. And all types can be life-changing in a positive way.

I see three types of change in my clients:

1. You’re starting something new. You’re ready to start that business or embrace a new career or leave your comfortable gig for something else. This type of change involves leaving the Comfort Zone and creating new neural pathways that will support your success. It takes effort.
2. You’re in a phase of growth. You’re accumulating tools and resources to grow personally and professionally. You’re in the Growth Zone. You already have the neurology to go after your goals. You’re building on top of your previous successes -- enriching your relationships, getting to a new level of physical health and strength, taking your business to the next level. When you’re in this phase of change, it’s self-initiated. You choose to grow. You choose to change.
3. You’re forced to change. This is turbulent change. Life happened and you were, to some degree, caught off-guard. Divorce, a death, loss of a job, a breakup, a tragic accident... You didn’t choose this path of change. Life forced it on you. And you’re likely in survival mode. You’re in the Danger Zone. It’s a difficult place to be. But don’t despair. Turbulent change can lead to wonderful personal transformation, and you can get momentum that can propel you to a better place, built on a new, better foundation, one that is aligned with your values and beliefs.

How to make the most out of changework, no matter the source?

• Start right where you are and acknowledge all the scary unknowns. I don’t typically advocate penning down scary stuff because we want to focus on the positive. But there’s a place for acknowledging and even writing down the worst thing that could happen, look at it squarely in the face, and determine if it’s something likely to happen, possibly could happen, or is unlikely to happen. Sometimes this simple exercise reduces a threat to something that is extremely unrealistic or even laughable.
• Identify opportunities. What are the potentials and possibilities wrapped up in this change?
• Take a step in the direction you want to go. Take action.

Each win, each success will breed more wins and more success as you build your neural framework. I’m not saying it’s easy. But the steps are simple, and you’re worth it.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone, the Growth Zone, and the Danger Zone
• Episode 16 -- Find the Ten-Step Problem-Solving Formula

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“I can’t wait until I have it together, like you.”

I actually get this sort of message from my clients sometimes. Okay, maybe they don’t actually use the word “perfect,” but they seem to be elevating the positives they see to a level that, quite frankly, isn’t real.

Do I have good days most of the time? Yep. Am I positive most of the time? Yep. Am I happy and at cause most of the time. Yep.

And... Do I have moments when I’m at effect? Yep, I do. It’s not the norm, but it does happen from time to time. In fact, it happened this week, and you’ll hear about it in today’s episode. I’m human, and I live in the real world. I don’t expect to be able to hit home runs every day. It’s not realistic.

And if you think it is, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. If someone is selling you the lie of perfection, you need to recognize it for what it is.

Look, the marketers have got your number. With all the digital activity going on in your life and the algorithms running behind the scenes, you’re constantly being bombarded with images of “perfection” -- all completely staged, of course. None of it is real.

But your unconscious mind doesn’t know that.

And when your real life doesn’t seem to measure up to that picture of perfection, negative emotions and limiting beliefs set in.

This is why it’s so important that you guard yourself from untruths and from unrealistic standards. Instead…

• Focus on your progress. Recognize how far you’ve come from where you started. Celebrate the successes you’ve had.
• Challenge your thoughts. Question and challenge negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. Rewrite the negative thoughts with positive ones that will fuel your continued progress.
• Guard your heart and mind from the marketers. What they’re selling isn’t real, and it won’t satisfy. The real, the good, the authentic is already alive and well in you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection and rewriting negative thoughts
• Episode 9 -- Escaping the Comparison Trap

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Remember when we talked about the Comfort Zone? What’s outside of the boundaries of the Comfort Zone is going to be...we’ll, uncomfortable. And when you’re in the midst of growth and change, it inevitably involves getting out of the Comfort Zone. It’s going to feel unfamiliar and awkward and...hard. Count on it.

This is one of the reasons why I only work with clients who are ready to “do whatever it takes” to achieve their goals. Because I know that without that kind of resolve, most will start whining about the difficulty of the changework. “It’s too hard,” or, “I can’t do it.” “This is impossible for me.”

But it’s not. And it’s so worth it. You are worth it.

Change is a process worthy of surrendering to. It’s not all going to be a walk in the park. It’s called change-work for a reason.

To get ‘er done, you’ve got to maintain your resolve. Once you’re able to put some distance between yourself and the pain that drove you to make the resolve to change in the first place, it’s easy to move backwards and drift towards the zone of what’s familiar and comfortable. Yes, some people sabotage their own breakthrough by negotiating their way right back into the Comfort Zone.

Focus is critical. Maintaining a focus on the change you want, on the good you seek, will keep you in a toward-motivated posture. And if you keep pushing ahead, change will come to you. It simply has to.

And I’ve never seen it take longer than 60 days.

As a matter of fact, when my clients hunker down, get to work, and stay focused, it often only takes a couple of weeks.

But let’s assume 60 days… Think about it. Less than 60 days. In less than 60 days, your life can change. You can be at effect and feeling good.

Honor your revolve. And when the going gets tough, keep your focus. Only 60 days. You got this.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 4 -- We learned about toward motivation
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone and the Growth Zone
• Episode 35 -- We learned about the ecology check

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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When I was recording this podcast, I thought I was going to get a cramp in my hand from all the air quotes I was doing around the word truth. Because it really should be “truth.”

When we start growing and having breakthroughs and learning about ourselves and seeing things in a new light and gaining insights at every turn, it’s only natural to want to share those “truths” with the people around us, especially those we care about the most.

But sharing your “truths” is not always a good idea. In fact, it’s usually a really bad idea. You could even look at it as bullying. Yes, really.

Look, when your conscious mind can only process 50 to 60 bits of information per second out of the millions of bits that are available for us to focus on, do you really think that any other person is going to be focusing on the same 50 to 60 bits as you? Is their “truth” going to look like yours? Uh, no. No chance.

And for you to barge into someone else’s world, into someone else’s experience, into someone else’s truths, and expect them to understand and validate your truths… Well, I hope you can see that that’s a tall order. In most cases, you’re going come across as annoying and needy...at the very least.

When you get the urge to share “truth” with others, take a step back. Chunk up. Look at the big picture, and ask yourself, “For what purpose do I want to share this?” Your intention is critical here. Get in touch with your positive intentions -- to feel connected, to be closer to those you love, etc. Make sure that you approach things from a place of positivity and commonality. And if, in your sharing, you sense defensiveness or get negative vibes from the other person, respect their time and respect your intention by stopping, taking a break, and reevaluating your approach.

Remember, the sucks-for-you meaning of communication is the response you get. The response you get matters. Let that sink in.

At the very least, rethink what you hope to gain from sharing your “truth.” Is whatever you’re hoping to gain realistic? Is it a fair and reasonable to have that expectation of those around you?

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 -- We learned about the RAS, the Reticular Activating System
• Episode 2 -- We learned that perception is projection
• Episode 23 -- The sucks-for-you meaning of communication

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Have you ever wanted to make a “selfish” decision but then considered the guilt that would likely follow, and so you made a different choice instead?

Most of us grew up being instilled with the mantra of “put others first.” “Don’t be selfish.” “Think of others before yourself.”

Sounds nice and noble, right? But the “me last” formula is a recipe for keeping you stuck, run ragged, and being an enabler of the weaknesses of others. You -- and everyone around you -- will be better off when you put yourself first.

Yeah, I know this is going to rub a lot of you the wrong way. You don’t have to believe me. But I dare you to give this a try.

The next time you have a decision to make, do an ecology check. It’s an NLP concept that’s based on a sort of trickle-down effect. First you, then those close to you and/or the situation, and finally the broader community. The idea is to make choices that are good for you, good for others, and good for the world. But it all starts with you.

Here’s how the ecology check works. The next time you have a decision to make, ask yourself:

1. “Is this good for me?” If the answer is no, stop there. Your decision should be no. If the answer is yes, go on to question two.
2. “Is this good for the people directly involved and for the people closest to me?” This could involve your clients if it’s a business decision, your immediate family, etc. If the answer is no, your decision should be no. If the answer is yes, go on to question three.
3. “Is this good for the greater community?” If yes, full steam ahead! It’s a win-win-win.

Caution: Be careful about assuming a decision will be “bad” for someone just because they may not like it at first. Look at the long-term big picture. Your kids might not like having to pack their own lunch, but it might be what’s best for them in the long run.

Your happiness matters. What’s good for you will, in the long run, be what’s best for those closest to you and for your broader community.

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Why is our culture so obsessed with the concept of “deserving”?

“You deserve a break.”

“I feel I deserve this workshop.”

“I don’t deserve that yet…”

“I deserve this upgrade."

“I don’t deserve that…”

At a recent conference, I heard that word, that notion of “deserving,” so many times. If you’re like me, the word “deserve” doesn’t sit well. Doesn’t the very word imply that there are conditions on deserving? There’s “deserving” and then there’s “not deserving.” At what point do you reach the coveted “deserving” status? What do you have to do? How much do you have to do? How long does it last?

One of my breakthrough clients had cleared the obvious negative emotions and was doing great. She was more in control of her life and was taking happiness for her own happiness. In getting ready to take a vacation with her family it crept up -- a deep limiting belief that was ready to be addressed: “I don’t deserve to feel good.”

Watching her address and work through that limiting belief was a powerful, emotional experience -- one that I will not soon forget. It was so powerful, I had to record a podcast episode about it!

What she learned -- the powerful truth she discovered -- is that it doesn’t matter whether you feel deserving or not. You just are.

Deserving presupposes that there are things that we can do to make us undeserving. And I tell you that there is no such thing.

You’re alive. You’re conscious. You are. Period.

Stop focusing on whether or not you “deserve” or whether or not you feel “deserving.” Use the resources at your disposal to get to cause, to be the primary mover and shaker in your own life, and to feel better and more in control than you’ve ever felt in your life.

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• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection

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Everywhere I go, people notice and comment on the fact that I’m an upbeat person. And they’re right. I feel good and positive almost all the time. Really.

Sure, I have moments of setback and overwhelm just like everyone else, but what I’m talking about is the state of my typical, usual days. They’re happy, positive...plain ol’ great days. Wondering how I do it?

First, you should know that it’s not by accident that I have good days the vast majority of the time. I plan to have good days, and I plan to feel great. The days are too precious to leave to chance. So I work at it. And it’s so worth the effort.

I’ve developed some daily practices that keep me on a positive track.

And those practices start the night before. Here are my top five practices for having a great day.

1. The night before, calm the nervous system. Pay attention to how you spend the last few hours before going to bed. If scary, dramatic movies give you fitful sleep, avoid that sort of thing. Figure out what is calming to you and do that instead. A cup of soothing tea, walking the dog, a lighthearted show…
2. Visualize the end of the coming day and feeling good about the day you just had. Visualize, in a soothing way, the projects, meetings, and conversations you’ll have in the coming day. Visualize what it will feel like to come home and relax after a productive day. Do you have a spiritual practice? If so, harness it during this time.
3. Get plenty of sleep. Go to bed early and get seven to eight hours of sleep.
4. Before you get out of bed in the morning, set your intentions for the day. Don’t get too granular here. Think big-picture intentions. This could involve meditation or a spiritual practice.
5. Finally, throughout the day, set high expectations. Pause before you do the next thing and talk to your unconscious mind about the outcomes you want to have. When you get congruent, you’ll be amazed at the doors that open for you.

My clients and I have proven these techniques over and over again. They really make a difference! The quality of your days is too valuable to be left to chance.

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• Episode 1 -- We learned about the reticular activating system
• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations and perception is projection
• Episode 4 -- We learned about toward motivation
• Episode 32 -- We learned about chunking

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Overwhelm -- the word itself sounds oppressive, doesn’t it? When I hear “overwhelm,” I feel a heaviness in my chest, some tension in my shoulders.

There was a time when I lived in overwhelm. I actually prided myself on how well I could work under pressure. Don’t get me wrong, the ability to work under pressure is a great skill to have, but don’t kid yourself into thinking that your body is cool with you living under pressure all the time. Eventually, if you don’t slow down, your body will make you slow down, like mine did. You don’t want that to happen.

I work with outstanding people. They’re go-getters. But sometimes they go, go, go so much that they end up feeling paralyzed in overwhelm. Do you know the paralysis of overwhelm, when you have so much to do that you don’t even know where to start? Yeah, I thought you did. It can happen to the best of us.

In NLP, we talk about “chunking up” (looking at the abstract) and “chunking down” (looking at specifics). When you’re in overwhelm, you might have a to-do list, but you’re so caught up in everything that you can’t focus on any one thing. It’s all too abstract. You don’t know where to start, and that feeling of paralysis creeps in.

That’s when you need to chunk down. Get specific. Focus on one thing. Just one little thing that you can do right now.

Don’t let yourself look at the entire list. Just the one thing that you can do right now.

I don’t want you to live in a general state of overwhelm. Your very health depends on you not allowing that to happen. And it’s all about focus.

Say no to some things so that you can build focus into your day. Meditate or relax or walk the dog -- there are lots of ways you can slow down, recognize where you are, remember your goals, and appreciate how far you’ve come. Doing that just might be the most important thing you do today.

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Can we agree on something? We're not going to get to where we want to be by doing the same stuff we've been doing that isn't working. Agreed?

It’s like two plus two equals four. You can’t keep adding two and two and expect to get anything but four. If you want a different result, you have to change something.

Change. This is one of the hardest parts of breakthrough work. You can release negative emotions and limiting beliefs -- and that’s an excellent place to start -- but, like it or not, your existing neural pathways still exist. They’re like ruts in the brain. They’re the paths of least resistance for the mind. It feels good, comfortable, familiar, easy to do the same things we’ve always done.

It’s hard to break out of ruts, even when you really want to do so.

But I know you want change; you want something better. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this right now. You want to see excellence in your life...and you can. It requires two key traits: discipline and self-control.

Identify what you want to change. Determine what are the habits and practices that you’re engaged in that are not supporting your goal.

Then decide what habits and practices you need to implement that will support your new goals. Why? Because it’s not enough to stop doing the same ol’ things that got you nowhere. You need to build a new practice, a new habit that will take the place of the old, bad habits and support your new goals. This is key.

Focus on your goal. Practice your new habit over and over again. You’ll need to be religious about it. You might need to rearrange some things in your life that will make it difficult to not do the new habit you want to establish. And -- this will be hard -- you’ll almost certainly need to say no to some things.

This ain’t easy. But it’s so doable. And you are so worth it.

Practice your new habit for 45 to 60 days and see what happens. I dare you. Once you see that you can do it, once you succeed, once you get a taste of excellence in one area of your life...watch out, world!

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• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
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We think of scarcity as a negative thing...and it is if you wallow in a scarcity mindset. But you can harness the feeling of scarcity to motivate you to get more of what you want.

If you really think about it, we all experience scarcity in areas of our lives from time to time. Perhaps the most universal area is scarcity of time. Rich, poor, thin, fat, young, old -- we all feel scarcity of time sometimes. Some of us feel a scarcity of money or health or uplifting relationships or energy or fun...

But did you know that the feeling of scarcity can be a good thing? Here’s what I mean…

Sometimes you do laundry because there’s a scarcity of clean clothes. You grocery shop because there’s a scarcity of food in the house. You schedule time with your significant other because you’re feeling a lack of quality time. The “scarcity” in these cases propels you into action. But your focus quickly shifts from the item of scarcity to solving the problem. That’s the key.

So the feeling of scarcity can be used as a call to action. Here’s how…

1. Don’t wallow in the scarcity mindset. That can be disempowering. Instead, recognize that you’re not where you want to be and ask, “What is it that I want?”
2. Shift your focus away from what is lacking to what you want in positive, toward language. Ask, “How can I get more of what I want? What can I do now?”
3. Choose an action step and go after it. Deadlines and specific goals are helpful here.

Life is a journey, and it’s never going to be perfect. Use that sense of “I don’t have exactly what I want” to focus your mind and take action. That’s how real change comes about.

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The principle thing that keeps us from the money that we want are the beliefs and the patterns that we're running unconsciously.

In my experiences with my clients, there are certain beliefs and patterns that show up over and over again. These patterns are bad for your bottom line. They’ll keep you stuck in your financial comfort zone, or worse, they can send you to the poorhouse.

The five detrimental money patterns I most commonly see are the following. Can you spot them and their effects in your life?

• Complaining about money. Complaining about the price of gas, complaining that money is so hard to come by, complaining that you’re broke, complaining that finances are stressful, complaining that money comes and goes so quickly…It’s all negative.

One of your unconscious mind’s very important jobs is to protect you. If something is perceived as negative, as bad, as stressful, your unconscious mind is going to try to keep that stressful stuff at bay. Really.

Complaining? Just stop that. It never solves anything anyway.

• The idea that “the universe will provide.” It’s a nice, sweet thought, and, well, maybe it is true to some degree. I really don’t know. The real poison here is that if you’re waiting on the universe to do its thing, you’re not in control. You’re turning over your ambition, creativity, and desires to some maybe-there-maybe-not-there, unseen force. Talk about being at effect… Don’t got there. Better to take action and take control of your own financial destiny.
• Hoarding money. This stems from the idea that money is a scarcity. It’s hard to get and in limited supply. We get stingy and can’t really enjoy the pleasure that having and spending money can bring.
• Spending too much money. This often stems from the here-today-gone-tomorrow belief. “Better spend it while you’ve got a chance.” This is a short-term mindset that makes you a slave to money instead of having it serve you.
• Worrying about money. Worry is a type of fear. Too much of it is detrimental for our health. Your unconscious mind knows this and will push away sources of worry.

The remedy? Appreciation. Cultivate it, nurture it. Develop a deep internal appreciation for money, for what it can do for you, for how it smooths our everyday lives.

And saving. Develop a pattern of putting away savings, no matter how small to begin with. The amount doesn’t matter. What matters is the repeated action, the repeated pattern.

Break free of poorhouse patterns and replace them with helpful, positive beliefs and patterns, and… Well, you’ll see the difference in tangible ways.

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• Episode 1 -- We learned about the reticular activating system
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When it comes to getting help from your unconscious mind to make changes in your life, there’s such a thing as dreaming too big. And make no mistake about it, you want help from you unconscious mind. Change is difficult. We need all the help we can get. And since our unconscious mind is, ultimately, what delivers our reality, it’s crucial that the unconscious mind be fully on board with any changes we want to make.

This is true in the realm of finances as well as other areas, but with finances it’s easier to measure.

But what happens if you set a goal -- monetary or otherwise -- that the unconscious mind doesn’t believe is attainable? If your financial goals seems outlandish, no matter how focused you are, you’re not going to get the support you need from the unconscious mind.

What to do? Stop dreaming big?

No way, José! You know me better than that. Don’t quit your big dreams…

But do put them on the back burner temporarily.

Deciding to make a deliberate change involves marrying the conscious and unconscious minds. You can logically make a decision with your conscious brain, but to get the message into the unconscious mind, you need baby steps -- believable, attainable baby steps.

Set a small, believable, achievable goal with a clear deadline. Focus on your goal. Remember, you unconscious mind thrives on repetition. Speak your goal in positive, toward language. Focus on the final step, the task or event that would occur right before the completion of your goal. Internalize that moment so that it’s comfortable and familiar to your unconscious mind. And then finally, take a step in the direction of your goal.

When you’ve reached your goal, set the next one, and do the process again. Success breeds success. This is how my clients double, triple, and quadruple their incomes.

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Our relationship with money involves more than just how much we have in the bank. It’s much more complicated than that. It involves more than our salary, more than our benefits, more than what’s in our 401K.

We learned in previous weeks that most of our unconscious beliefs -- those around money, prosperity and many other important topics -- were handed down to us from our caregivers. What we learned in our youth -- whether good or bad, whether favorable to or suspicious of money -- is what’s known and comfortable to us.

And it’s uncomfortable to get outside of our comfort zones, even when those zones are keeping us in less than ideal life conditions.

Most of us fall into one of four prosperity comfort zones:

1. Level 1 is about survival and scarcity. It’s a hand-to-mouth existence. Consumption and instant gratification are hallmarks of this level, and there’s little, if any, planning for the future.
2. Level 2 is about creating financial security. This level is characterized by “corporate America,” hard work, perfectionism, good benefits, caution, calculated pleasure spending, and giving lip service to saving for the future. But substantial savings don’t materialize.
3. Level 3 is characterized by entrepreneurship. This level is characterized by self-expression, creativity, multiple income streams, investing, an abundance mindset, calculated risk taking, delegation, ambition.
4. Level 4 encompasses the innovators, the movers and shakers of the world, the philanthropists. They’re able to use their wealth to improve the existence of many and to leave a deep impact on the world. Think Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg.

No matter what social class you grew up in, moving out of your given prosperity comfort zone, too far out of those familiar ideas and patterns around money, will be challenging if you aim too high too fast.

You can level up, but it needs to be done in a gentle, gradual way. By shifting your focus gradually and giving your nervous system time to adjust, you’ll begin to integrate new thought patterns around finances will move your reality in the direction you want to go.

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• Episode 4 -- We learned about comfort zone
• Episode 1 -- We learned about the reticular activating system

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Beliefs about money -- we all have them. And they tend to fall somewhere between “Money is great, and there’s plenty of it for all,” and “Money is evil...and so are those who have it.”

The thing is, no matter where we are on that belief spectrum, we probably didn’t consciously decide what we were going to believe about money. Our beliefs about money -- like so many other topics -- were handed to us. They came from our parents, our caregivers, or our culture.

Whatever your beliefs about money, are you happy with your current financial situation? Can you see that the current state of your funds reflects your inherited fundamental beliefs about finances? What is the story you have in your subconscious about money? Is it time for a rewrite? Because if you have negative feelings about money, your unconscious mind is going to make sure you don’t have too much of it.

But the truth is that money is part of the fabric of our lives. We need it to survive and to have a spot in the marketplace. Money gives us options; it can increase our impact; it can give us more free time; it can give us a measure of security.

And if money can do all of those things, wouldn’t we want to have a positive money story playing in our minds and writing our reality?

If you inherited negative unconscious thoughts about money, you don’t have to stay with that story. You can rewrite the story, and, in so doing, rewrite your relationship with money.

This requires a blending of the conscious and unconscious minds, which take repetition, repetition, repetition. With patience and baby-step goals that -- this is super important -- speak to you on an emotional level, you can begin to move in the direction that you want. It’s a matter of writing a new, believable story and of deliberately repeating it to yourself in a toward-motivated way, until your subconscious integrates that new, positive money message.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the comfort zone
• Episode 4 -- We learned about toward motivation

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When you start growing, changing, thriving, finding success, and having breakthroughs of your own, it’s only natural to want the same for others in your life, especially those who are close to you, those whom you love.

It would be easy to fall into nagging, pressuring friends and family to change -- “Read this book; take this class, join this group, listen to this podcast…” But problems arise when we try to push others into change before they’re ready. Motivation to change has to come from within the individual. They are the ones who have to do the work. No one else can do it for them.

A core tenet of NLP is that every person is doing the best they can with the resources they have. Once we accept this, we’ll relieve ourselves of the felt duty of trying to fix other people. After all, the only person we can “fix” is ourselves.

This next point might hurt a bit, so take a deep breath… If we’re honest with ourselves, the real reason we want friends and family to change is because their growth will benefit us in some way. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just something to be aware of and honest with ourselves about.

Another thing to keep in mind is if we feel compelled to rescue friends or family who aren’t making good decisions, what motivation will they have to change? Coddling those engaged in unresourceful behavior is a huge barrier to their growth. Don’t do it! Consequences, setting boundaries, and saying no will be much more impactful.

The best way you can help others is to help yourself by setting boundaries and taking responsibility for your own life experiences, looking inward, and seeing how you, yourself, can grow and develop. You are the only person you can fix.

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• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 17 -- The Ripple Effect of Significant Emotional Events
• Old Spice Mom

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I have several clients who have moved from phase one to phase two of the breakthrough process. Phase one happens with me in my office. That’s where I help clients release negative emotions, eliminate limiting beliefs, install strategies, and align values… It’s exciting, invigorating work.

Then comes phase two -- the hard part. It doesn’t seem as dramatic as phase one, but this is the nuts-and-bolts, boots-on-the-ground work that must be done for sustained success in the real world, outside of the safety of my office. This is the not-fun stuff. It’s boring. But it’s so, so powerful, and it will impact every area of your life.

Don’t miss the implications of these truths:

• The unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's real, imagined, or remembered.
• And it takes everything personally.

Having some negative thoughts about your brother? Your unconscious mind thinks those thoughts are about you.

Dwelling on a scary movie?

Relaying tragic events that happened in your town? Sorry, but your unconscious mind is processing all of that as if it’s happening to you right now, as if those events are an actual threat to your wellbeing.

Remember -- you unconscious mind is trying to protect you, and everything you think and say is processed by the amygdala as if it’s happening to you in the moment.

So you’ve got to watch what you think and what you say, because your unconscious mind is going to deliver to you what you dwell on.

I know I’ve said it before, but the importance of the language you use and the thoughts you think can’t be overstated. It impacts every aspect of your life. It’s easy to gloss over this fact because our thoughts and the language we use is so deeply ingrained.

Work to rewrite those deeply ingrained patterns of negativity. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Awareness is half the battle. And with some diligence, you could be seeing results in just a week!

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations and the power of perception
• Episode 1 -- We learned that the unconscious mind loves repetition.
• Episode 3 -- We learned about the negativity bias. You’ll also find the Rewriting Negative Thoughts Worksheet
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the comfort zone
• Episode 4 -- We learned about toward and away-from motivation. Access the Shifting to Toward Motivation Worksheet
• Episode 15 -- Access the Let it Go Worksheet

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There is a presupposition in NLP that the power of our communication with others is revealed in the response that we get.

Yeah, you read that right.

When we speak, we tend to focus internally on what we want to say, on the message we want to deliver, on the ideas we want to share. We want to be heard.

The problem is that in focusing inwardly, we get caught up in our own thoughts and forget about those of our listeners. We’re “listening” to ourselves instead of listening to those we’re trying to communicate with. We forget that they too want to be heard and understood.

Even if they’re not audibly speaking, our (at least face-to-face) listeners are sending messages through their countenance, their silence, their level of eye contact, their body language, the color and tone of their skin...

If the purpose of communication is to get all parties on the same page, learning to pay attention to these cues is vital.

It’s also important to remember that, in most cases, all parties involved want the same outcome. The couple wants to be closer. The business partners want to succeed. The neighbors want to be at peace.

And the communication between those parties can make or break their chances of finding mutual success and win-wins scenarios.

I’ve learned that when I’m trying to communicate something and I’m not getting the response I want, I need to take a hard look inward and then reframe my message. And the first step is to listen to the whole person -- to their words, their body language, their countenance, etc.

The hard truth is that the response that you get in communication has everything to do with you...and not with anybody else.

The good news is that you can learn skills that will take your communication to a new level, giving you -- and those you interact with! -- just what you were hoping for.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 2 -- Perception is projection
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Language -- it influences more than you think.

It’s not just how we communicate with others. It’s how we communicate with ourselves. It's how we understand our world.

As humans, our very consciousness -- our thoughts, beliefs, ideas -- is built around words, around language. We build patterns and strategies based on those labels, and all of this put together gives you your life experience.

Don’t like your current life experience? Change your language. Really. It’s the key to changing your beliefs, changing your thoughts, changing your experiences, changing your life.

I have yet to meet a single human being who is living a life that is different than their thoughts. What you think is what you get. And if you want to change your thoughts -- guess what? You’ve got to change your words. You’ve got to change your labels. You’ve got to change your language.

It’s simple, but it’s not easy. Remember: the unconscious mind loves repetition, so you’ll need some persistence, but it won’t take long for you to see evidence that your work is making a difference.

Start by paying attention. Pay attention to your thoughts, to your words, to how you think about yourself and others. Notice how the things you say and think are reflected back to you in your environment and experiences.

To begin to shift your language (and life) in a positive, toward direction, do these three things:

• Reframe your automatic negative thoughts. See the link below for a great worksheet on this.
• Use toward language and positive language. Don’t focus on the negative reasons for why you want ________ (fill in the blank). Always keep it positive.
• Set small achievable goals, and celebrate your accomplishments along the way.

It’s not exciting or glamorous, but it’s the mellow work done deliberately that proves to be where the real power lies. And you’re worth it.

Thanks for listening!

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• Episode 3 -- We learned about rewriting negative thoughts
• Rewrite Automatic Negative Thoughts Worksheet
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You probably never expected to have a hate club. But now that you’ve started working on yourself, started growing, changing, releasing negative energy, and being the real you...well, there are bound to be some people who aren’t thrilled about changes.

This is the not-fun part of self-growth. But it’s normal and to be expected when you’re experiencing breakthroughs, growth, and change.

The people in our sphere almost always align with us. For instance, if we have a glass-half-empty mindset, those around us are going to confirm that negative attitude. If we’re into complaining about our spouses, guess what the people we keep company with will enjoy doing? You get the idea.

When we begin to change and leave our old patterns behind, our old sphere of friends are left wondering what happened to us. The old negative attitude turned sunny. Instead of participating in the gossip, we’re pushing back, defending the absent third-party.

Old friends are wondering, “Who does he think he is?”

“What’s gotten into her? It’s probably just a phase...”

Little do they know…

As a result, some who drop out of your life on their own. They’ll just lose interest and move on.

Then, there will be others who you’ll need to let go. They’re the ones who will never embrace the new you, and continuing to give them your time and energy will only bring you down. You’ll need to be the one doing the moving away -- but only after you’ve reached a place of logical neutrality regarding the relationship.

Finally, there are others, those closest and dearest to us, with whom it’s worth being extra patient. Change is hard and scary, so be patient and don’t give up too easily. With kindness and a bit of nurturing, some will embrace and delight in the new you...and might even have a breakthrough of their own.

Thanks for listening!

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone
• Check out the fabulous Freebies section!

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Do you know that paralyzing feeling that you’re not good enough? It’s debilitating. How did we come to feel that we’re lacking? Who said so? What do they know? Who decides how much of whatever attribute is enough?

As we’ve established before, your sponge-like brain soaked in the ideas that were fed it, especially when you were young. But even adults are bombarded with and have lapped up advertisements and images of “ideals” that simple do not exist in the real world. We’ve been sold a bill of goods, and our unconscious minds soaked it up, leaving us feeling less-than, lacking...like losers.

We so easily fall into the comparison trap, measuring ourselves against unreal, imaginary standards, and then wonder why we feel powerless!

The sad story is that when we compare ourselves to others, we become at effect rather than at cause. We’re no longer the one in charge of our lives. We’re letting someone else dictate what we should look like, act like, have, and do, etc.

But you can feel worthy, and you can take back control of your life, starting by implementing five simple steps:

• Appreciate. When you look in the mirror, instead of noticing what you don’t like, find things to be thankful for about what you see. Appreciate how hard your body works for you, that your heart automatically beats for you, that you don’t have to think about breathing... Appreciate your knowledge, your experience, your kindness to others, etc.
• Focus on what you want -- not on what you don’t want. Have the end goal in mind.
• Speak in a positive, towards direction.
• Quiet automatic negative thoughts. They’re not real. They’re only thoughts. And you can conquer them.
• Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s a trap. The world needs you to be you.

Change and transformation starts on the inside. Once you change the inside, you’ll begin to see change on the outside as well.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 3 -- We learned about rewriting automatic negative thoughts
• Episode 9 -- We learned about the Comparison Trap
• Check out all of our helpful resources in the Freebies section!

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Body image. Probably for most people -- both women and men -- those two words bring up all sorts of negative feelings and emotions, feelings of not-good-enough, feelings of embarrassment, possibly guilt and shame.

Where did those feelings, that negativity, come from? Likely from Photoshopped images of “perfect” figures and complexions that don’t actually exist in the real world. Where there is advertising, there will also be Photoshop. We need to recognize that fact and factor it into our perception of the images we see, because perfection simply doesn’t exist in our world.

When we think of our “body image” our thoughts typically go to our most “problematic” parts -- the lumpy thighs, bulging belly, and saggings arms -- instead of our assets -- the sparkling eyes, hearty laugh, good circulation, adequate mobility, the ability to breathe effortlessly on our own…

It’s not wrong to want better than what we currently have. Bu we’re never going to get our bodies to cooperate with us in the change process if we’re body shaming it.

Change begins with appreciation. Appreciating where you are now, how your body is right now is the first step.

The second step is being truly kind to your vessel, which is your body. You’ll want to care for and nurture it. You’ll want to treat it well and care for it with nutritious food, pure water, exercise and adequate movement, and sound rest.

You can’t body-shame and body-hate your way to an “ideal” figure. Appreciation and kindness are the keys to transforming your body.

Positive transformation begins with self-love and self-acceptable. Start by looking in the mirror and thanking your body for all the things it does for you. Focus on the things you like about your vessel. Then speak to what you want in positive, toward language. Finally, take action in the direction of the change you want to see.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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• Access our worksheets in the Freebies section!

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Have you noticed, like I have, that many people who have money struggles also struggle to maintain a healthy weight?

When you get to the heart of the matter, we really shouldn’t be surprised. Both food and money struggles are likely the result of a scarcity mindset. “I can’t purchase what I really want because there might not be enough in the bank tomorrow.” “I’m already full, but I was taught to eat everything on my plate.”

The processed food industry isn’t helping the problem of overeating. Because they want to sell us more and more of their wares, they add chemicals that make their junk taste great, downright addictive. Our brains respond by telling us to get another handful...and another and another.

It might seem like a hopeless situation, but it’s not.

The first step is to realize it’s not your fault. It’s not that you’re undisciplined or lazy or destined to be overweight. Somewhere along the way, you embraced the scarcity mindset -- perhaps from your parents, environmental factors, or difficult circumstances -- and you were fed cheap, empty, addictive “food” that kept you hungry and wanting more.

So, it’s not your fault. There’s no need to feel guilt or shame.

But -- and here’s the key -- you don’t have to be powerless, either. You can find and address the root cause, learn, get to work, and drop the weight.

How? You could get coaching to speed up the process, but coaching is not necessary to find and weed out the root cause. I dropped 150 pounds on my own -- without the aid of a coach, NLP, or Time Line Therapy®. Certainly those tools would have been helpful and sped up the process, but there’s more than one way to cook an egg. You can do this on you own. If I can do it, so can you. You already have everything you need to address and overcome your struggle. It’s all inside of you.

I’ve got some great -- and free! -- resources to help get you started.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 16 -- We learned about at effect versus at cause
• Episode 11 -- Overcoming Unconscious Consumption
• Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us by Michael Moss
• Episode 15 -- find the Let it Go worksheet
• Do-it-yourself coaching with our free worksheets

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Let’s face it. We’re not in complete control. Sometimes things happen to us -- bad things. Sometimes we are victims, and our lives are affected negatively by the actions of others.

If that was the end of the story, it would be a sad, depressing one for many of us. But our lives are a journey that we can participate in. We have the power to rationalize, to learn, and to grow from the events that shaped our lives, even -- perhaps especially -- from the bad ones.

In today’s episode, we talk about significant emotional events -- about what they are, why they’re so powerful, and about the link between the physical body and the memory of these events. We learn that our body brilliantly suppresses significant emotional events until we’re ready to process, integrate, and release the negative emotions. Yes, when a bad memory comes flooding back, your body believes you’re ready to let go of the negative emotions surrounding that event.

I share a recent experience of the surfacing of one of my own significant emotional events, about how it affected my life and the life of my oldest son, and about how we’re working to learn from it and move on.

Finally, we discuss at affect and at cause. At affect is having an external locus of control. At cause is having an internal locus of control. Rather than living with a victim mindset, being at cause puts you in the driver’s seat to process events from your past, release negative emotions and limiting beliefs, and move on in a positive direction.

Being at cause involves looking at your life and asking…

What is my part in this?

How did I create this?

How is it that I landed here to being with?

What can I do to make the changes I want to make?

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• The Introduction Episode -- we talk about how NLP, Time Line Therapy®, and hypnosis are used in concert to create breakthroughs
• John Sarno, author of The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain
• “How to Release the Past and Return to Love” by Deepak Chopra
• The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson
• Episode 4 -- the Unconscious Goal Stopper and direction filters
• Freebies!

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Each baby comes into the world as a blank slate -- pure love and 100% human potential. Their developing mind takes in their environment like a sponge, soaking in both the obvious -- the names of objects in their world, the ABC’s etc. -- and the not so obvious things, like the emotions, behaviors, limiting beliefs, and the values of those around them. This is why most people’s values and beliefs were acquired by default rather than intentionally chosen. They were simply absorbed from the environment in which they grew up.

BUT those acquired values, behaviors, and beliefs need not define who you are. They are not who you are. You are, even now, 100% human potential.

Don’t believe me? Look around. There are countless stories of people who have beat the odds, turned their lives around, traded beauty for ashes. Why not you?

If you don’t feel like you’re a bundle of human potential, if you’re not happy with the circumstances of your life, if you’re unhappy with your relationships or your career or your business, it’s time to realize that you have the ability to change -- to change your values, your beliefs, your actions, your circumstances, your life.

The steps to making meaningful change are simple -- not easy, mind you -- but simple, uncomplicated. And the prescription is the same, no matter what background baggage you bring.

You might be ready to tackle the changework when you realize that you’re not happy with the way things are, when you realize that you have the power to initiate change. Sure, someone (or many someones) might have wronged you, violated you, cheated you, fed you lies… But you’re the one who can process and integrate those past experiences, learn what’s to be learned, let it go, and move on. You have the ability to process past negative experiences in way that will release the emotional baggage of those events.

Imagine the energy you’ll be able to put into healthy relationships or growing your business or creating something unique once you stop defining yourself by negative emotions, limiting beliefs, and other people’s values.

You can do this. And you can start with my free Ten-Steps Problem-Solving Formula.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Episode 7 -- We learned about the comfort zone
• Ten-Step Problem-Solving Formula

To help out the show:

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To say we all get stressed from time to time is a vast understatement, especially in the modern, always-on world in which we live. We’re continuously bombarded with content, and that sometimes leads us to put undue pressure on ourselves to perform at a certain level or achieve unrealistic goals.

77% of people regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress. Yes, physical symptoms.

Stress can be a quiet creeper. For some of us, it slowly builds, and we don’t even realize it’s there until we’re nearly at a breaking point.

Then there’s another class of stress -- the stress that comes with anxiety, anxiety about things over which we have little or no control. Anxiety is really nothing more than fear of the future, the projection of which is changing day by day if not minute by minute!

Sometimes the future can be made brighter by simply shifting our focus. And when the future is brighter, your stress level decreases.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn a powerful tool for dealing with negative emotions and letting go of things that bring you down.

Eliminating negative emotions and the stress that comes along with them can have a direct impact on your physical health, your immune system, how you move and feel in your body, and even your weight.

This powerful tool begins with simply asking, “What am I feeling right now?”

Name the emotion. Recognize it. Honor it.

Then ask again, “What am I feeling right now?”

Again, name the emotion. (It will likely be different from the first time.) No need to overthink it. Just honestly answer the question.

Then repeat the process over and over again until you feel...nothing.

Your emotions may span frustration, hurt, anger, confusion, sorrow, hope, and love… Some may bring with them a physical sensation in the body -- flutters or tears. That’s fine. Honor and acknowledge each emotion one by one.

The whole exercise will only take about five minutes. And afterwards, you’ll understand yourself better, and you will realize that you do indeed have control over how you feel.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection
• Emotions Worksheet

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• Leave an positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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At some level, we’re all salespersons. All of us. If we’re in the workforce, if we have relationships, if we ever try to influence or teach others, we’re selling. We may be trying to sell our boss on a strategy, or sell our partner on the next vacation destination, or sell our kids on eating their vegetables. We sell ideas, instructions, opinions, preferences, products, services...

One beautiful thing about sales is that when voluntary transactions happen, win-wins occur. All parties feel better and richer as a result of the trade.

Wouldn’t it be great to create more of those win-wins?

You can...by focusing on your prospect. It’s imperative that we move away form the stories we have in our own heads, away from what we think we know about our customers, so that we can glean information and speak directly to their needs, their issues, their potential fears, their desires. We need to understand the potential transaction from the prospect’s perspective.

How can we do that? Learn to effectively ask the following questions…

Have you ever ______?” (Fill in the blank with the service or product the prospect is seeking.) Have you ever bought life insurance? Have you ever worked with a wardrobe consultant? Have you ever purchased real estate?

How did you decide to _______? (Fill in the blank.) How did you decide to buy life insurance? How did you decide to work with a wardrobe consultant? How did you decide to purchase real estate?

What’s important to you about ________? (Fill in the blank with the prospect’s previous responses.) What’s important to you about diversifying your portfolio? What’s important to you about looking put together? What’s important to you about having farmland?

For what purpose _______ ? (Fill in the blank.) For what purpose do you want to secure your family’s future? For what purpose do you want to feel more confident? For what purpose do you want to raise livestock?

By carefully listening to the responses to the above questions, you’ll have all the information you need to create a tailored offer that speaks to directly to the underlying concerns and needs of the prospect.

Another beautiful thing about sales… The more you sell, the better you get at it. The more you close, the more you’ll close. The more you close, the less anxious and more relaxed you’ll feel. Your confidence will increase, and your personal relationships will benefit. Last but not least, having wins creates neurological pathways for future wins.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 4 -- We learned about away-from and toward motivation
• Upcoming training: Thrive in Business and Sales with NLP

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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When things go wrong, when we have a bad day, when we seem to be out of luck, we tend to ask, “Why? Why me?”

That’s the wrong question

Instead we should be asking, “How? How did I make this happen? What is going on inside me to bring about these results?”

As soon as we begin to blame someone or some circumstance or some situation for what’s going on in our lives, we’ve given away our power and given up on any hope of change.

This podcast is all about harnessing the power of the mind to achieve the results we want in business, relationships, and life. This podcast is about take responsibility for your life, your reactions, and your outcomes. It’s about empowering you to achieve what you want out of life, no matter what you life’s path has been like up till now.

And it all starts with internal representations.

Remember, perception is projection, and what you perceive in others is a reflection of what’s inside of you.

Let that sink in... It’s a sobering thought. If you perceive something negative in someone else, it’s an indication that there’s cleanup work to be done in your own life.

But there’s no need to feel overwhelmed! The unconscious mind will only allow unconscious information to surface when it deems it ready for resolution.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn the three steps that, when done consistently, will clean up your negative projections. We revisit internal representations and see how they play a role in...well, everything. I disclose my litmus test for how I’m doing (hint: it has to do with the state of those around me). We discuss why our physiology and emotional state must be aligned. And we talk about luck...why luck has nothing to do with your results. Good or bad, you create your results. And those results stem from your internal representations.

Let’s clean them up.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations
• Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection

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To discount or not to discount -- that is the question.

Since the Great Recession a decade ago, discounts, coupons, slashing prices, and flash sales have been the norm in many industries, so much so that some shoppers have the mentality of “I never pay full retail price” and expect to have a discount on everything, even services.

It would be easy for the small to medium-sized business owner to assume that discounts and coupons are just part of doing business, that it’s what you have to do to close a sale.

But there’s a downside to discounts. Once you start down the slippery slope, there’s almost no end in sight. How big of a discount is enticing enough? Should you raise your regular price so the discount won’t hurt your bottom line so much? You might be thinking, “I’ll just offer a discount to first-time customers,” but by doing so you set a bad precedent. A repeat customer who initially received a discount will almost certainly want a redo of the discount on future transactions as well.

And you might find it difficult to look yourself in the mirror if you’re feeling that you’ve been unfair to those customers who paid full price.

When you open the can of worms that is discounts, your well thought through pricing structure is reduced to mind games.

An unapologetic, stable price demonstrates confidence, integrity, and trustworthiness. It also sends the perception that you believe in the value of the service or product that you’re offering.

In today’s episode, you’ll hear my own experience with discounts, from both the giving and receiving end. You’ll hear about the repeatedly discounted “bottom line” price I got at a car dealership and why it left a bad taste in my mouth. We talk about perception is projection and why, if you expect discounts from others, you can expect others to demand discounts from you as well. Finally, we discuss non-discount methods for reeling in first-time customers.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- we learned about “perception is projection.”

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Did you know that people consume almost twice as much food and drink when they’re in a group of six or more? It happens for the same reason that we can mindlessly consume a bucket of popcorn at the movies or find ourselves having had one too many beers at the big game. We’re consuming unconsciously.

Of course, it doesn’t help the situation that we tend to reach for convenience foods when hunger strikes and many of those easy-to-grab, convenient-to-fix processed foods -- the boxed stuff, the canned goods, the frozen dinners -- are engineered to make you crave them, to keep you coming back for more and more more...long after your dietary needs have been met.

Another reason we tend to overconsume is that overconsumption of food and/or alcohol fires off the reward center of the brain. Plain and simple -- it feels good. We get a dopamine high when we gorge.

But food and drink aren’t the only things that can give us that feel-good high. One of the keys to overcoming unconscious consumption is to train yourself to feel rewarded by achieving the healthy, good-for-you goals that you consciously set.

As someone who once weighed 300 pounds, I’m no stranger to unconscious consumption. I’ve been there, done that. And I’m living proof that by eating and drinking consciously, it’s possible to take control of your weight and your health.

In today’s episode, I share my personal relationship with food and alcohol and how it’s changed over time. I share what foods make me feel the best and which ones I typically avoid. I also share about my current practice of intermittent fasting, and we talk about how to make positive changes in the direction you want to take your health and why setting small, achievable goals is the key to creating feel-good, sustainable results.

And it all starts with awareness.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

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Links from today’s episode:

• Salt, Sugar, Fat by Michael Moss
• Episode 2 -- We learned that our behaviors control our results
• Episode 10 -- We talked about achieving big goals

To help out the show:

• Leave an positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Many of us have unspoken desires that are bottled up and hidden away. The upside to that approach is that you’ll have no obstacles resting in your comfort zone. The downside, of course, is that you’ll never realize goals that are not acted upon.

In today’s episode we talk about what needs to happen in our conscious and our unconscious mind to realize goals. We’ll learn why the two most important steps of achieving a goals are the first one and the last one. And we discuss congruency and why the alignment of our thoughts, actions, emotions, and behaviors is so important when it comes to goal setting and getting.

Perhaps the most beautiful thing about setting and achieving goals is that the person who achieves the goal is never the same person who set the goal. Why? Because growth, change, and transformation have happened along the way! Success breeds success. Fulfilling the next goal will require less effort, less neurological wiring, than the first.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone
• Episode 4, the Unconscious Goal Stopper -- We learned about toward-motivation

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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If you are unique... If no one else can be you… If no one can do what you do in that way that you do it… then why would you ever compare yourself to someone else?

Comparing -- It’s a trap we so easily fall into, especially in the age of social media, where so much of what we perceive is not even reality! Falling into the comparison trap feeds all kinds of negative emotions. The trap is stifling. It’s certainly not a breeding ground for personal growth.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, keep it positive by focusing on being a better version of yourself. Be a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday.

In today’s episode, we learn why comparing ourselves to others is so detrimental to our own growth and happiness. We discuss the difference between comparison and modeling, and we learn how to harness the positive power of modeling to inspire and propel us into action in the direction we want to grow. I also share a few personal stories about my own comparison struggles and some words of wisdom from my 25-year-old son.

In short, this episode is really about you -- how the world needs you to be you.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- We learned about filters, internal representations, and why we can’t have an unbiased opinion of anything.
• Episode 5 -- We learned about the true key to happiness
• Episode 6 -- We talked about money
• Slim Lucy and fuller Ethel -- beauty’s in the eye of the beholder
• Worksheet to help you do more of you and less of them.

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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Why is your friend triggered by one thing and you something else? A difference of values.

What makes you call someone out? Your values.

Why do you get that how-can-I-look-myself-in-the-mirror feeling when you choose to not make a scene when someone has crossed a line? Again, values.

Our values are mostly unconscious. They drive our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and our actions. Want to know what your values are? Look at how you live your life.

Many values were programmed or conditioned into us, and perhaps they served a function at one time but no longer serve us. For personal discovery and growth, it’s important to identify what our values are and change the ones that no longer serve us. Like all change work, this takes time. But it’s so worth it. You are worth it.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to identify your values, discover which ones serve you, and how to create new ones.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 2 -- we talked about conscious and unconscious filters
• Episode 4 -- we talked ab toward and away-from motivation
• The directional motivation worksheet

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• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
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The comfort zone -- It’s not exciting. It’s not bad. It’s stagnant and … well, comfortable. Your life is basically on autopilot when you’re in the comfort zone. You know the routine. You know what to expect.

But humans were designed for growth and transformation -- not stagnation.

In today’s episode, we learn about the Yerkes-Dodson law and that a healthy amount of stress increases performance. We discuss the growth zone and how it’s possible to put yourself in an upward spiral of growth. Finally, we learn about the danger zone and why it’s imperative that you not take on too much, that you grow at your own rate, and that you refrain from comparing yourself to others.

Welcome to the growth zone.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
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Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 -- the unconscious mind is always evolving and growing
• Yerkes-Dodson law

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Money -- can’t live without it. So we might as well have a healthy relationship with it.

But many of us have negative feelings and perceptions around earning money or using it for things we enjoy. Some of us can’t even pay for services we need without a sense of guilt or waste.

To complicate matters, if your unconscious mind believes money causes you stress, it will try to keep that stress -- in this case, money -- away from you. Let that sink in.

Typically we inherit our perceptions of money from our parents, but that doesn’t mean we have to be stuck with them. In today’s episode we learn about the “comfort zone” of money and what it takes to break out of that zone and get rid of limiting beliefs. It involves, of course, working with our unconscious mind.

The really exciting thing is that mastery of this or any area in life is a sign of personal growth. And growth in one sphere always bleeds over into others.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth by T. Harv Eker
• Episode 1 -- we talked about the reticular activating system
• Episode 2 -- we talked about perceptions and internal representations
• Episode 4 -- we talk about direction filters
• The Shifting to Toward Motivation Worksheet form Episode 4

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Despite what marketers would have you believe, happiness will never come from a purchase, an investment, or a new methodology. We’ve been led to believe that happiness is “out there,” that it can be reached or achieved.

But research shows, believe it or not, that most people are happiest at work. Why? Because we experience happiness when we’re in pursuit. Happiness is in creating. It’s in striving. Happiness is a journey, a way of living and being, not a destination to be reached.

In today’s episode, we’ll learn why we grow disillusioned with the good things we already have in our lives. We’ll discuss “positive anticipatory dissatisfaction,” and why it’s the key to staying on the happiness path.

You can put yourself on the happiness path right now. It begins with taking responsibility for yourself in the present moment. No matter how negative your current state, you have the power to shift your state toward happiness.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

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We all want to increase pleasure and avoid pain. But did you know that we tend to be motivated by one of those objectives more than the other? We all have a direction filter which determines if we’re focused on moving toward pleasure or moving away from pain.

Those who focus on pleasure (“towards” people) tend to get it. They are the folks who seem to have all the luck in life. Good stuff just attracts them like magnets. They’re positive, and seem to have boundless energy to realize their goals.

Those who focus on avoiding pain (“away-from” people) seem to have a rain cloud over them. They have success in bits and starts, but because their focus is on the pain they want to avoid, they find it challenging to get in a positive flow.

The good news is that if you have an “away-from” focus, you can change it -- and thereby the direction of your life -- by working with your unconscious mind.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “Suggestion or Question” button below
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Remember the Noid, the pop icon from Domino’s Pizza commercials in the 1980s?
• Shifting to Toward Motivation Worksheet

To help out the show:

• Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.
• Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn.

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We all have a negativity bias, even generally positive people. The automatic negativity bias evolved to keep us safe from lions, tigers, and bears, so there’s no need to beat yourself up about your negative tendencies. You come by them naturally.

That negative bias, though, is antiquated, just like the slingshot our ancestors used to bring home dinner. It simply doesn’t serve us well in the modern age.

Studies show that 90% of our thought are repetitive, and 70% of them are negative. That’s reason enough to want to nip negative thoughts in the bud.

In today’s episode, you’ll learn four techniques for reining in negative thoughts and keeping them from running amok in your mind and ruining your day. These simple techniques -- some accessible even to children -- are tools that can steer moments from the negative to the positive. And once you get the hang of them, you’ll begin to do them automatically, trading in the negative spiral for a positive one.

Thanks for listening!

To share your thoughts:

• Leave a note in the comment section below
• Use the “I have a question” button
• Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn

Links from today’s episode:

• Episode 1 -- the unconscious mind loves repetition and needs it to establish new patterns and behaviors
• Episode 2 -- we covered the filtering RAS, tending our negative representations, and states (the emotional byproducts of our internal representations)
• Snap out of it: Three Foolproof Techniques to Feel Better Fast.
• Upcoming Event: THRIVE in Business and Sales with NLP, March 22 – 24 in Reno, NV
• Upcoming Event: Keys to Your Empowerment, April 12 -14 in Reno, NV

To help out the show:

• Leave an positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one.

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

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Have you ever been in a situation that was upsetting to you, and you knew that if you could only see things a little differently, you’d feel much better?

Have you ever been offended by someone’s behavior towards maybe the way they said something or did somethings, and when you mentioned it to them, they had no clue what you were talking about?

Is there something you do, or think, or way you react consistently, but you can’t seem to help yourself in certain situations?

The purpose of this episode is to give you a framework for how we form perception and how you can change your perceptions to help you achieve your desired outcomes. How we interpret information to produce our perceptions, how those perceptions effect how feel, how our bodies react to our perceptions, and how our perceptions lead to our behaviors. To put all this together, we’re going to dive into a super-power model for NLP.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is an evolving field and can be applied in different ways in different situations, so the definition can vary. Here’s the working definition as given by the creators of NLP:

It is a modeling approach and pragmatic discipline relating to bringing desired outcomes into real life experience. It is known as a study of what works and the context in which it works. It is also known as a study of excellence and consists of three components.

• Neuro – relates to the nervous system, or the mind, through which our experiences processed via the five senses and the result of that process creates a mental map.
• Linguistic – relates to language and other non-verbal language through which our mental maps.
• Programming – relates to the behavioral response as a result of our mental and linguistic maps.

Because NLP is about learning about how we do things, not necessarily why we do them, once we learn how we do something, we can change the structure of how we do that thing to get different results.

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Today we’re going to talk about your magnificent mind. Specifically your magnificent unconscious mind. When I say magnificent I really mean it – because that’s what it is.

Do you have a knack for getting in your own way? Often our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors don’t support our goals in both our business and personal lives. This episode will show how you can make positive shifts to get more of what you want out of life.

In this episode, I will explore the unconscious mind. I will talk about what the unconscious mind is and the 4 important things you need to know about it. I will then look at how you can use that knowledge to create a shift on an unconscious level that will create lasting positive change.

How most of us are in the habit of getting in our own way

The difference between the brain and the mind

What the mind-body connection is

That terms unconscious and subconscious when describing the mind

The differences between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind

How the conscious and unconscious mind work together

That the conscious mind is the source of all learning, behaviour and change

How the unconscious mind is active in 92% of all brain activity

1. What the Reticular Activating system is
   1. We become what we habitually perceive
2. How your unconscious mind is always listening and that includes your internal thoughts and beliefs
   1. What Timeline Therapy is
3. The unconscious mind remembers everything
4. How the unconscious mind keeps us in our comfort zone

How I had to step out of my comfort zone when I became a coach

Once you start to step out of you comfort zone, you’re going to discover how much more you can do:

1. Become keenly aware of your focus
2. Say it the way you want it
3. Feel it the way you want it
4. Repeat, repeat, repeat

That a greater perspective will give you more choices so you can choose what is right for you.

Links

• Quantum Healing: Exploring the Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine by Deepak Chopra M.D.
• The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain by John E. Sarno M.D.

Please email any suggestions to suggestionbox@mindrevolutionpodcast.com

If you have questions for my monthly Q&A episode, send an email to questions@mindrevolutionpodcast.com

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The purpose of this episode is to:

• Share with you a little about me, my work, and desire to start this podcast
• Share my vision and intention with Mind Revolution
• Share what you can expect with this podcast

My name is Brenda Terry, and I’m an NLP trainer and master coach, a timeline therapy trainer, a trainer of hypnotherapy, and I’m the founder of 7 Together Success Training. I work with business leaders and up and comers who are ready to do what it takes to achieve big results in their businesses and their personal lives.

I use Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques, hypnosis, and timeline therapy coaching techniques to help them identify and change patterns and behaviors that aren't supporting their goals so that they can make more money, find more joy, better manage relationships, and communicate more effectively. I use all these modalities to help people get from where they are to actualizing their big goals in a short amount of time let's quickly unpack NLP hypnosis and timeline therapy techniques.

The reason the unpacking of these terms is important is that when I tell people what I do specifically about ninety five percent of them get this glazed over look in their eyes. Because let's face it - Neuro Linguistic Programming, hypnosis, and timeline therapy coaching techniques is a mouthful. And other than the word ‘hypnosis,’ the labels are not self-explanatory. One of my intentions for this podcast is to change all of that.

Neuro Linguistic Programming is an unfortunate name for a powerful practical and life changing field of study that helps us figure out how our minds work and how we can use that knowledge to change or improve patterns of behavior thoughts and beliefs to design strategies for living happy successful lives in a highly conscious way. At its core NLP is all about using the mind language and other non-verbal communication to discover change and utilize the programs that we run unconsciously. So the stuff that happens in the background of our minds that we're not even aware of it is really fascinating stuff and the techniques create lasting change so so quickly.

Hypnosis, also known as hypnotherapy, is a trance-like state in which an individual has heightened focus and concentration all the while feeling calm and relaxed and being more open to suggestion. Hypnosis works because that trance like state allows for the critical faculty to be bypassed. The critical faculty is like a wedge or a gate between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind designed to trust and act upon only on that which your conscious mind knows to be tested and true and therefore considers worthy of your attention. The suggestions your unconscious mind accepts can only be suggestions that are aligned with who you are with your values your desires your hopes and your goals. You can not be made to do something you wouldn't ordinarily do.

Timeline therapy coaching work is incredibly fast and effective and has been used successfully by thousands. Timeline Therapy is also not therapy. It is a set of coaching techniques that based on my experience and so many others who practice the techniques that are by far the most effective set of techniques for letting go of the past that doesn't serve us and for creating compelling futures.

I discovered NLP in my previous career when I was looking for personal development solutions that could help me scale my business. At the time, I was running a company and I knew that whatever personal resources I had in the form of clarity drive motivation leadership ability and complexity of thinking were enough to get me to where I was in that company. I knew that in terms of my personal growth I'd been stuck for a while and I could feel myself bumping against an invisible ceiling and it felt like very much that I was where I was and where I wanted to be was on the other side of this thing that was in front of me that felt insurmountable and yet it was invisible, but it still felt like I couldn't overcome it.

When I had my first personal breakthrough with NLP time line therapy and hypnosis, it was like taking blinders off with the help of an excellent and LP coach. I was able to break through that invisible ceiling and witness a world of possibility before me that I hadn't seen before. I just didn't have access to it because of where I was.

The change was so swift and so powerful and so exclusively positive that I was really kind of annoyed. I was annoyed because I spent years. In therapy throughout my life trying to solve problems. This code helped me to solve in just a few hours over a two day period.

What value can you expect to get by listening to the mind revolution podcast?

• General information about how our minds work and when it comes to making change. And also in staying the same. This relates to thoughts emotions beliefs behaviors patterns.
• Understand the core components of NLP. There's so much jargon in there it's almost like a language unto itself, so I'm going to do the very best I can to make the information relatable and understandable.
• Learn practical ways for you to use them to take your business and your personal life to that next level.
• Receive access to free resources that you can download in the form of worksheets and hypnosis audios.
• You will have episodes available once a week on Thursdays. Episodes are going to be right around 30 minutes of topic based content with a Q and A episode on the last Thursday of every month. So you'll be able to ask me any questions about NLP. You can submit your questions at Questions@mindrevolutionpodcast.com.
• Mind Revolution will have sponsors. I will always let you know who they are and share any offers available and you will be able to find that information for each of those offers in the show notes.
• Announcements about live training events coming up and how that event may serve you.

Ultimately this podcast is all about you. And with that in mind I would greatly appreciate your feedback so please email. Any suggestions on how I can add value through Mind Revolution to suggestionbox@mindrevolutionpodcast.com.