KindnessCan: Recent Episodes
East Coast Radio
Kindness is such a simple word. We've all experienced the joy of kindness in our lives. We all aspire to be kinder. We believe that kindness has the power to change the world. Yet, knowing how to be kinder in an increasingly tough world is sometimes hard for all of us. In this podcast series, radio personality Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell explore simple ways to be kinder in different situations in our lives.
In this episode of the KindnessCan podcast, the hosts welcome guest Naomi Holdt, a psychologist and well-known author of the parenting book 'Bounce'. They discuss the concept of resilience, its importance in child development and how parents can foster it in their children. Holdt shares the journey of writing her book, her insights into the real-world challenges faced by children, and strategies for parents to strengthen their connection with their children. The conversation also centres on the importance of self-care for parents, effective boundary setting, handling bullying, dealing with children's anxiety, and navigating the complexities of parenting in the digital age. A key takeaway is the emphasis on love, connection, and understanding as crucial elements in fostering a child's resilience.
Among other things the trio talk about:
•Understanding Resilience
•The Role of Parents in Building Resilience
•The Importance of Self-Awareness in Parenting
•The Impact of Parenting on Children's Self-Esteem
•The Value of Boundaries and Connection in Parenting
•Dealing with Bullying and Building Confidence
•The Role of Parents in Problem-Solving
•Maintaining Connection and Love in Parenting
•The Importance of Conscious Parenting KindnessCan Website
Step into 2024 with a fresh perspective on tech use! Join Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell as they unveil their ‘New Year, new tech habits’ episode. Packed with insights, they share details of a screen-time contract designed for a balanced and mindful family digital lifestyle.
If it’s not part of your New Year intentions for and your family, it probably should be. Our handheld devices have become an important part of our daily lives. We work, play, connect and entertain ourselves via our phones. And as much as this can be useful and fun, there can also be a terrible downside.
Jane and Paul talk through their New Year intentions to have a better relationship with their hand-held devices.
They talk about a contract for you and your family to consider entering into, outlining specific goals and boundaries for using your phones. It’s a practical way to hold yourself and the people around you accountable to healthy screen time. KindnessCan Website
This holiday season, ditch the stress and expectations and focus on what truly matters – meaningful connections with yourself and the people who make your heart sing.
In the latest episode of the KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell delve into navigating tricky family dynamics, setting healthy boundaries, and rewriting the script of your holidays to find authentic joy.
"You don't have to live by a script written by other people in your life!" says Paul, reminding us that true happiness lies in forging connections on our own terms.
Whether you're craving new traditions or feeling pressure to tick all the boxes, Jane and Paul offer honest and practical nuggets of wisdom, sprinkled with plenty of laughter and kindness. They explore themes like:
• Setting boundaries for authentic connections
• Reconnecting with your genuine self
• Navigating expectations and prioritizing real joy
• Top tips for staying connected to those who matter most
So, step off the holiday hamster wheel and tune in to KindnessCan this episode. Learn how to rewrite the script, embrace your true self, and foster genuine connections that fill your heart with warmth, not overwhelm. KindnessCan Website
It’s report card time! And we all know this can be a stressful time for learners and parents. Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell talk through how this can be an amazing moment for connection and growth for families.
This starts with making your child feel safe and seen, followed, by a focus on the remarks before the marks. And then a deep dive into what went well and not so well, and ways to set realistic goals for next year.
Jane shares how she and her Dad used to fold the report card in half and start with the comments.
As always, their insight is real, practical, and fun. It’s about turning something potentially hard, into something healing and hopeful. KindnessCan Website
Jump into the latest KindnessCan episode with Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell as they unpack "The Power of Human Connection."
This one's all about the simple stuff—why laughter matters, the beauty of slowing down, and the magic in connecting with each other in our crazy-fast world.
Paul emphasises the importance of giving ourselves permission to laugh and play, underlining the underestimated value of these moments.
This episode isn't about grand gestures; it's the small, everyday kindness that can change the game.
Jane reminds us that changing the world doesn't need a superhero cape—it can start with your next-door neighbour.
They spill the beans on their recent trip to Pietermaritzburg for World Homeless Day. Forget serious stuff; they found out how play and connection can be superheroes, too. No capes required.
Listen in for a chat that's as real as it gets – with some heartwarming stories that might just change the way you see kindness. KindnessCan Website
In this episode, Jane talks us through her very inspiring and evocative Movember Campaign. For every day in November, the campaign has been highlighting a different KZN person in a photographic portrait and a brave testimony around their mental health. Styled colourfully by Jane’s Rejoyce Collection and photographed by Amy White - the images are playful, personal, and powerful. Answering questions like - “how is your mental health?” - the testimonies highlight some of the very real vulnerabilities of men and people from all walks of life. A stand out theme is the imperative to be kind to every one, because you don’t alway know the journey that they are walking. KindnessCan Website
Join Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell in a heartfelt discussion about South Africa's incredible victory in the men's Rugby World Cup Final and what it means for South Africa. This unfiltered conversation is filled with enthusiasm, laughter, and love as the two explore the emotions and valuable lessons that come with winning a world championship.
Discover how empathetic, kind, and conscious leadership not only secured victory on the rugby field but also holds the potential to transform various aspects of South African life. The Springboks, through their actions, have set an inspiring example that every South African can emulate, becoming true heroes of the South African narrative.
As Paul says, "Despite all the challenges we face as a country, we can be champions of the world." KindnessCan Website
Is “lazy” parenting sometimes better for our children?
It's another light, fun, and practical KindnessCan podcast episode. This time Jane and Paul dip into the world of parenting and look at ways that parents can be kinder on their parenting journey.
And you might be surprised that being kinder doesn’t always mean saying yes, giving in, or doing all the work for your children.
As counter-intuitive as it may sound, having obstacles in our path is an important way to learn how to deal with obstacles, and that we are able to deal with these obstacles.
This becomes the basis for our Emotional Intelligence and other useful skill sets that are becoming more and more important in a constantly changing world. KindnessCan Website
Jane and Paul share some of the new and old wisdom that they’ve been collecting over the last two years in a post-pandemic world. Through many eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart conversations with schools, corporates and all of you, Jane and Paul keep hearing how important taking care of the relationship you are having with YOU is to being a kinder version of you. Your cup can’t just be full to help others and be the best version of you, it needs to be overflowing. But are the things that are doing to fill your cup really filling your cup? Or, are they adding to the drain? In this episode, the Kind Duo take a look at how to separate real energizers from the sometimes and the fake energizers that we all for. As always, it’s light, practical and positive! KindnessCan Website
In the first episode of the much-awaited new season of KindnessCan, Jane and Paul take a moment to reflect on life in a post-pandemic world. From hiding out to over-filling our schedules, life has sometimes felt like a pendulum of extremes. We could all benefit from pausing and trying to find the words to describe what we have experienced. Choosing the right words has the potential to help us make sense of the past and move forward in an empowered way. The kind duo are as real, supportive and practical as ever – sharing personal insights, funny moments, and useful affirmations. The new season promises to be fun, light and practical, and you are invited to come as you are and leave inspired and empowered. KindnessCan Website
One of Durban’s brightest and happiest fashion enthusiasts, Jane Linley-Thomas has at long last put together a collection of pre-loved fashion. Inspired by Jane’s grandmother, Joyce – the collection is bright, colourful and eccentric. On the back of a personally tough 2020, the collection is also a celebration of life, kindness, optimism, self-care and connection. This week Jane and Paul talk about Jane’s new fashion collection and shop, The Rejoyce Collection.
This week Jane and Paul talk about Paul’s new book, #raisingMINDFULkids.
KindnessCan co-founder and Durban-based author, Paul Bushell is releasing a new book - #raisingMINDFULkids. A follow-up to his first #raisingkids book, this book is a beautiful and practical toolkit with over 80 activities to introduce mindfulness onto the ‘raising kids journey’. These activities are a great way of connecting, reflecting and learning how to physically and emotionally self-regulate. This seems to be more and more important in a world that is not only constantly changing, but also filled with distractions, instant gratification, unrealistic ideas of happiness and unhealthy role models. Website
Two months after the violence and looting that rocked KZN, Jane and Paul catch up with one very special community member who's been instrumental in restoring peace - and hope. Upper Highway resident, Nick Nzama has become a beacon of light for his community. Growing up in the Embo Village, he received a scholarship to Kearsney College. Little did he know then, but he began fostering a deeper understanding of the different parts and groups that made up his greater community. This would allow him to become a bridge during the recent violence, where he was able to get different groups to sit around the table and find ways out of the growing tension and violence. Get a glimpse into some of the behind-the-scenes fears, negotiating and unsung heroes. Outer West Business & Community Initiative Facebook page
This week Jane and Paul catch up with Durban-based journalist, Glynis Horning. Glynis and her husband Chris woke up one morning to the devastating discovery of their 25-year old son Spencer dead in his bed. Two years on, Glynis has released her personal account of loss and grief in her book, 'Waterboy' - released ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day on 10 September. In this podcast, Glynis talks through the devastation and agony of losing a child to a suicide. Through her own personal experience and research as a mental health journalist, she offers insights into mental health and suicide prevention. This podcast will touch anyone who has directly or indirectly experienced this ultimate heartbreak. Glynis' wisdom and insights are moving and extraordinary. Get help through SADAG
This week’s podcast is brought to you by Van Wyk Law Incorporated.
Cami B is the founder of Connect with Cami Be Yoga ZA and Yogi Bears ZA. In this podcast, she talks about the importance of connecting with oneself, especially during stressful and busy times. As counter-intuitive as this sometimes feels in a busy world, there is healing and restorative value on slowing the world down for a moment. Jane and Paul learn about how yoga is a tool that we can all add to our emotional coping toolbox. It's also a great skill to be teaching young people. And although yoga for children might be very different for adults, the lessons and value are much the same. Learn more about how you can incorporate stretching, breathing and affirmations into your daily routine.
This week Jane and Paul get some practical tips and tools for managing fear and unlocking our negative belief systems. They also play with the idea of walking on FIRE! Join them as they chat with Specialised Kinesiologist Kerry Van Huyssteen. Kerry shares some real and accessible tools that we can all use in our everyday life to overcome fear. She even talks us through how someone might prepare to walk over a fire! This especially useful in a time where we all have our own fires that we are walking through. Website
It has been a time of global loss and grief. It is often hard to know what to do with these feelings. It can also be very hard to know how to be there for other people. In this episode, Jane and Paul catch up with speaker and author, Bridget McNulty. Bridget has written 'The Grief Handbook' in which she offers personal insights and practical advice that enables people to grieve in their own way. In this episode, we talk through practical ideas for recovering through loss and grief.
You don't want to miss the latest KindnessCan podcast. Jane and Paul chat with Durban born photographer and videographer, Kierran Allen. They talk through the images he captured last week in Durban, and the conflicting feelings and moments he witnessed on the ground.
In KindnessCan's Support Each Other - Session 7 - Jane and Paul catch up with Durban-based speaker, coach and facilitator, Jess Basson. She is also author of the poem - 'We can be both'. The moving and inspiring poem helps put into words the collective trauma that we have all felt in KZN.
In today’s episode, Jane and Paul talk about managing our children’s experiences and feelings following the recent traumatic events.
They talk about things to do at home, and things to prepare children for going back to school.
A big take away is that we all need to gentle and supportive of one another right now.
In today’s session of the KindnessCan Support Session, Jane and Paul talk FEAR. They unpack ways of managing fear in the face of an immediate threat, and in the days that follow. Although fear is a normal reaction to threat, it needs careful managing and kind support.
In today’s KindnessCan session Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell speak to Matthew Willman, documentary fine art photographer. Matthew also had the privilege of photographing Nelson Mandela for 10 years. In this podcast he shares stories and lessons from his time with Madiba, and their powerful relevance in our recent trauma.
Today's KindnessCan Support Each Other session covered the anger you may be feeling. It's okay to be angry, it's normal. Don't judge these feelings, choose wisely what you do with them. 🛑 Stop 🧯Cool Off 💭 Think 💝 Choose Our free online Zoom sessions happen daily at 9am and everyone is welcome to join. https://zoom.us/j/98453610493?pwd=VS9EWGlwQ3poM1JDZWhmdHE3MWpwUT09 Take care of yourselves.
We're living through extremely emotional and challenging times. Take a listen to KindnessCan founders, psychologist Paul Bushell and radio personality Jane Linley-Thomas, as they unpack the variety of emotions we're all experiencing at the moment in South Africa. They hope to offer personal and practical ways to manage our feelings during these unsettling times. Today, Jane and Paul touched on trauma.
KindnessCan will be hosting FREE online supper sessions for anyone at 09:00.
If you are needing ongoing support, please contact SADAG.
To contact a counsellor between 8am-8pm Monday to Sunday, Call: 011 234 4837 / Fax number: 011 234 8182 For a suicidal Emergency contact us on 0800 567 567 24hr Helpline 0800 456 789
In this week’s episode of the KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul catch up with Cindy Norcott, founder of the Robin Hood Foundation. In Mandela Day Month, the foundation have a range of exciting and kind activities on the go. As always they hope to touch the lives of thousands of deserving people in KZN. Find out how you can get involved. Robin Hood Foundation website
South African viewers will recognise him from Season 3 of the hit television reality show, The Voice South Africa, where he places 6th overall. In this week’s KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell catch-up with talented performer – Yahto Kraft. A special feature for International Pride Month, Yatho is a strong voice in the LGBTQIA+ community, who hopes that his music can bring the world together. In the podcast, Yahto talks through the realities of holding onto pride and kindness in a world that often sends mixed messages. Yahto also shares practical ways for all of us to grow a healthier relationship with ourselves and the world around us.
In the latest KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell speak to Luke Dillon from Watershed Transformation. Luke is a divorce coach, who for the past 10 years has been helping men move through and past their divorce.
In this week’s KindessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell catch up with the Purpose Paddler – Stuart Geldart. The brave Durbanite is attempting to paddle the 2000 km from Kosi Bay to Cape Town to raise awareness and funds for Adopt-a-River. Stuart shares some insight into how and why we need to be kinder to the environment, and especially our dams, rivers and seas.
He also talks sharks, the breathe-taking quietness of paddling alone, how to manage big thoughts, and what the personal journey means for him.
You don’t want to miss this week’s KindnessCan podcast. Jane and Paul talk with South African humanitarian legend, Dr Imtiaz Sooliman. Founder of the Gift of the Givers, Dr Sooliman shares stories of the incredible humanity, kindness and hope he has found in the over 40 countries he has worked in. Recipient of countless awards, the kind Doctor talks about his greatest rewards and what he does to recharge. He also talks about the recent Cape Town fires and how the community rallied to help UCT students who were affected.
In this week’s KindessCan podcast, Jane Lindley Thomas and Paul Bushell catch up with the one and only, South African comedian, Kevin Fraser. Listen in not only for the laughs, but also the serious side of Kevin.
The podcast covers cyber bullying, life under the bright lights of a stage, and ways that we can all be a little kinder to one another.
In this week’s KindessCan podcast, Jane and Paul catch up with biokineticist, 2019 World Surfski Series Champion and new mom, Hayley Nixon, to talk about balancing a career, professional sports, parenthood and staying fit, healthy and well along the way. Hayley shares heart-warming stories of kindness and encouragement, and talks about the importance of both lending and borrowing a helping hand every now and then. It's a special reminder to all of us that asking for help is an act of kindness.
Drink spiking is a serious problem, as one local family discovered. In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell catch up with Peach Piche, who has taken her family's frightening personal experience and turned it into something that can help stop drink spiking. Drinkerbell is a unique hair accessory that doubles up as drink cover. From victim to victor, Peach is passionate about creating awareness and offering solutions.
Kindness often starts with a small idea and little gesture. It has the power to set into motion something really big and special. In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul chat with Naomi Holdt about an amazing community initiative to inspire and treat frontline healthcare workers in the Pietermaritzburg area of KZN. An idea started by 4 friends, the project has turned into a seriously moving and inspiring community event. The outpouring of support has ranged from truck-loads of treats to hand-made cards from local families and pensioners. There is no doubt - we live in a kind province. Facebook page
It’s the first KindnessCan podcast for 2021. But as Jane and Paul have discovered - it may be a new year - but there’s still a lot of last year that we’re still dealing with. Sigh. Lockdowns, home schooling, social distancing, masks, scary statistics, and a cocktail of big feelings...As Paul reminds us all, “you are not alone.” As always, Jane and Paul offer their gentle, practical and fun tips on how to keep finding kindness and light in life. We will get though this.
As promised, let's talk about the original birds and the bees. In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul give parents some tips on how to talk to their children about their bodies, sex and sexuality. Gone are the days of this being an awkward once-off conversation. In a digital world, it's a conversation that we need to keep having over and over again. We also touch on porn and teenagers.
[Adult content advisory]
In this KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul take a real and practical look into navigating the technology and social media world with our children. It's a minefield out there! Not only is the technology constantly changing, but most parents have very little experience or role model on how to manage this part of their child's life.
Watching their friends lose their income from the shutdown of the Shongweni Farmers Market during the COVID-19 lockdown in South Africa in March, Branden Gee and Cameron Blair decided to support them by creating 'Our Local Market' - an online space for small businesses to trade. Visit their website
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul hold space for hijacking survivor, Sam Musk. In 2015, she was involved in a hijacking which left her partially paralysed and deeply traumatised. Today, she has found space for inspiration, positivity, and forgiveness in her life again. It's an inspiring and practical conversation, where hope trumps crime.
In this weeks KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul talk about being kind with your finances. They are joined by Heather Flack, from HW Accounting Services, who takes you through some of her kind money tips! This is a must listen in these financially tough times.
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul talk with Paul's little sister all the way from Melbourne, Australia. Amy tells us all about her experience of facing a global pandemic and dealing with a national lockdown far away from home and the people that she loves.In this special podcast, Amy also talks about her charitable event, Across the Oceans, and how it has brought people around the world together for a good South African cause.
Across the Oceans is an international running event for charity. On Saturday 22 August people are invited to walk or run as far as they can, post your pictures to the Across the Oceans Facebook page and make a donation. This year, the proceeds will be going to Home Meah, a home for abandoned children in South Africa. For more information, go to https://www.backabuddy.co.za/across-the-oceans-run More info here
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell talk kind design with super star interior designer, Margaret Westerhof from Margaret Rose Interiors. Managing the colours, textures and layouts around us can have a big impact on the way we feel and act. In this podcast, Mags shares some practical tips from managing your space to creating the right energy for you.
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul catch up with South African icon, Claire Johnston. Recorded with a live audience, the podcast beams good vibes and possibility. Claire talks about Mango Groove, her big South African moments, her favourite songs, meeting Madiba, the power of music, and living through a lockdown with her precious pug. The special star encourages South African's to hold on and see how special, resilient and magical we really are as a nation.
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul speak with chef and healthy living champion, Shannon Smuts, after she tested positive for COVID-19. They talk testing, symptoms, isolation, parenting, guilt and shame, stigma, healthy living and positive thinking. For a pandemic that has gripped our attention for so long now, here's a personal glimpse into what COVID-19 looks and feels like at home. It is so important that we stop the stigma around testing positive. There is value in knowing your status, as a way of protecting your self and others.
*The comments and advice on this show are based on personal experience, and can of course vary from person-to-person. Please contact your local health professional for more information.
Nothing quite like being called into the principal’s office! In this week’s episode, Jane and Paul talk with Reddam House Umhlanga Principal, Adam Rogers. They talk about how schools have transformed over the past few months; about how learners and teachers have adapted to change and how to deal with the disappointment of lost opportunities for matrics. Schools are slowly opening up and there is so much to consider and celebrate. A practical and hopeful podcast, full of love and kindness.
In this week's podcast, Jane and Paul talk about the ins and outs of going back to school. Listen in for some practical things you can do to help prepare yourself and your children for returning to school. Although there are so many new protocols and uncertainties, we can take control of how we prepare and respond. Don't miss the opportunity to prepare your children.
In this week's KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul talk about moulding in and out of new routines on the home school front. In the initial phases of the lockdown, educators and parents were bombarded with making sense of the tech. In the middle, parents and educators had to work hard to keep some kind of consistency, routine, and spirits going. This week, the Basic Education minister announced the return of Grade 12s and Grade 7s next month, and a whole new set of decisions and routines need to be considered. Listen as Jane and Paul pay tribute to our teachers.
In this week's episode, Jane and Paul talk about digging deep and the importance of resilience in a constantly disruptive and changing world. Finding that fight isn't always easy (especially when you're in the middle of one of your greatest tests!) It takes learning, practice and patience. Resilience is a skill that we can all keep growing, and sharing with our children. Listen here for some real tips and tools on how to nurture your resilience in this moment.
In this week’s podcast, Jane and Paul talk through some of the highs and lows of another week in our national lockdown. It’s been an emotional and practical roller coaster. School is back (but not like we remember it). The work worries are still there (but more than we ever remembered them). Our life and relationships, and parenting responsibilities...still there (but on a whole new level of intensity!) With moments of sadness and worry, and then moments of light and laughter, Jane and Paul talk through some simple and practical ways that we can all walk each other home. This moment will come and go. We’ve just got to take it one step at a time.
In this week’s KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul reflect on week 2 of the national lockdown. It’s been an emotional roller-coaster and many of us have experienced a range of feelings over the last 2 weeks. Jane and Paul make space for some of these feelings, and offer some tips on how to manage them better. You are not alone during this time of national action and concern.
In this week’s KindnessCan podcast, Jane and Paul talk about what’s been on everyone’s mind and heart this week - Coronavirus. It is in South Africa, and the fear and uncertainty is real. In this podcast, Jane and Paul give tips on how to manage some of the panic and fear that is creeping into all of our lives. It is so important that we don’t let hysteria become an even more dangerous and destructive virus in our country. Now more than ever, we need to learn the facts and work together.
South Africa is faced by many challenges. The news reminds us every day. We can sometimes feel angry, overwhelmed and helpless by so many realities. In this week's podcast, Jane and Paul talk about how we can take back some control and be part of making this place better. Some of greatest leaders started out as ordinary people like you and me.
Pregnancy Awareness Week is observed from 12-16 February. An important part of this week is to raise awareness around the physical and emotional risks that face mothers, foetus and babies during pregnancy. This week Jane and Paul talk to mother and journalist, Lauren Shapiro about her personal experience of perinatal depression, her journey to recovery and her recent book on the topic. It’s a real and personal account of pregnancy and mental health.
Modern parenting seems to get tougher and tougher! With so many uncertainties, it’s no wonder parents are feeling overwhelmed, guilty and anxious. We need to be careful of how these feelings negatively affect our parenting. Over-shadowing and over-protecting can lead to our children feeling anxious, and ill-equipped for the world that awaits them. This week Jane and Paul talk about anxious parenting.
In this week’s KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell have an exclusive interview with Fields Hill truck driver Sanele May. This follows his recent release from Umzinto Prison where he served a six year sentence in connection with the horrific truck crash in 2013 in which 24 people died and many others were injured. We talk with Sanele - who's back in his home country of Swaziland - about forgiveness: forgiving oneself and others. Crash footage
This week, Jane and Paul talk about how to be kind when starting your employment journey. Whether you're starting your job hunt or going into a new job, keeping your head above water can sometimes feel like a challenge. Managing your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are all within your control.
Join Jane and Paul as they talk about bringing the old you into the new year. An inspiring, real and balanced take on setting kind goals and celebrating ourselves in 2020. We could all be a little bit in kinder in the way we talk about ourselves!
This week Jane and Paul talk about dealing with loss at this family-orientated time of the year. It can be especially hard having to face the holidays without a special person in your life. Dealing with the firsts - the first Christmas or New Year celebrations without that special person can be overwhelming. In this episode of KindnessCan, we hope you find comfort.
In this episode of KindnessCan, Jane and Paul talk about the importance of being kind this holiday season. It's a reminder to you that your greatest gift is you and your love and attention for others. Worry less about the fancy gifts and focus more on the heart stuff.
This week, Jane and Paul spend time talking with Jaci Mun-Gavin almost one year after daughter, Kiara's horrific head injury in a freak accident in Durban North on Christmas Eve. The aspirant ballet dancer needed brain surgery and was placed in an induced coma. Swelling on Kiara's brain led doctors to expect the worst possible outcome and part of her skull had to be removed. However, Kiara not only survived, but has been able to walk again and has not suffered any permanent brain damage. In this podcast episode, Jaci talks about Kiara’s accident, her amazing recovery, and how kindness comes in different shapes and sizes on the journey of healing.
As South Africans, we spend a lot of time in cars. So often, they become places of stress, frustration and unkindness. But, they can be great places for self-reflection and sharing with the people in our lives. This week, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell talk about how to be kinder to ourselves and others in the car.
Emigration stories are once again coming up between friends, family members and colleagues. There seems to have been a new wave of people opting to leave South Africa, for whatever reason, and so in this week's podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell talk about emigration - from both perspectives. They're not offering input on whether to stay or go, rather talking about kindness for those who're dealing with what is no doubt a very difficult decision, as well as respect and kindness for those who choose to stay.
On the back of the Boks amazing Rugby World Cup win, Jane and Paul talk about kindness when winning and losing. This is an excellent listen for parents, and anyone for that matter, navigating the highs and lows on either side of victory. This episode includes practical tips on how to manage impulse control in all of our lives.
This week Jane and Paul are talking kindness in sport with Springbok Rugby legend Pat Lambie. Pat shares some of his stories about rugby, life, life after rugby and most all - kindness. It’s amazing the places kindness turns up, and the impact it can have on so many parts of our lives.
Affirmation: Kindness is everywhere.
Although kindness is free and accessible, it’s not always easy to put into practice. In the latest episode, Jane and Paul talk about the importance of expressing gratitude to others in order to grow and develop kinder relationships with others, and with ourselves!
Affirmation: Gratitude equals happiness.
Watching a child leave home for the first time is like watching a lifetime of emotions flash before your eyes. Join Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Bushell as they talk about the experience of having a child leave home for the first time. The kindness duo take listeners through some of the emotions to expect, and practical ways to deal with these for you and your child. Raising children (even when they’re big) is a wonderful, tough job.
Affirmation: I must trust that I have done the best I could. Find more here
In July this year, the Durban home of actors / comedians Lisa Bobbert and Aaron McIlroy was gutted by a devastating fire. In today's KindnessCan podcast, Jane Linley-Thomas and psychologist Paul Bushell talk to Lisa about the traumatic experience of losing her family-home of over 20 years, along with almost every single item they possessed, but -in the process - of gaining the kindness, love and support of the community. Find out more about KindnessCan
Parenting is a wonderfully tough job. Doing it with another person can be such a relief and joy. It can also be a point of conflict. In this episode of KindnessCan, Jane and Paul talk about co-parenting with kindness.
Going through a break-up is never easy. There are often a lot of hard thoughts and feelings. It's important that we slow this moment down and give ourselves the chance to process and react to these thoughts and feelings in the best and kindest way possible. Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Buschell talk about kindness in the wake of a breakup in this episode. Read more here
If most of us are spending as much as 80% of our lives at work, the people we work with are a big part of lives. These relationships can have a big impact on the way we think, feel and act. These experiences are the stories, feelings and habits we take home with us. We have been overwhelmed by emails from people feeling so unhappy because of unkind relationships and vibes at work. Breaking the cycle of unkind sometimes starts with us. Smile more. There are only one or two places in the world where smiling isn’t seen as a gesture of warmth, caring and kindness. You have the potential to change the course of a conversation and relationship by carefully attaching a smile. It can be a scary thing to do at first, because putting ourselves out there feels vulnerable - what if people don’t smile back? Or they think we’re creepy? Take the chance for yourself. You might not always get a smile back right away (or ever), but the odds are definitely in your favor. It will feel good for you. Ask more questions. It’s hard to hate someone up close. When you don’t understand something, ask questions. We are ore the same than we are different. Affirmation: I am part of a special community.
Over time, we can all start to take our special relationship for granted. All the little and big things that we do for each other become lost in a feeling of routine and amongst all the business of life. We start to give the best of ourselves to our children, our friends, our colleges, our social media. It becomes easy to be unkind and uncaring. If our feelings and actions are a product of our thoughts, we need to go back to the drawing board and start connecting with thoughts about our partners and lives, which will allow us to feel kinder and be kinder. A really useful way of doing this is by connecting with the little and small things we are grateful for. Start by making a list of things that you really value in your partner. Then, make a list of things that your partner does for you that really matters and means something. You might want to share these lists as a way of affirming and encouraging each other. Affirmation: I am grateful for you.
It’s not always possible to be kind to our children all of the time. Life is demanding and busy, and there are moments when they seem to bring out the worst in us. We are impatient and short, unavailable and limited by our own shortfalls as a person in a stressful world. In your quest to be kind to yourself and your children, start by setting all of you free from the idea of perfection. By holding ourselves ransom to an unrealistic idea of the perfect parent and person, we are overwhelming ourselves. And, we are building the illusion that ‘perfect’ is possible for our children as well. It’s okay to make mistakes and get it wrong. Use these moments to learn and grow together in supportive and kind ways. We do this by role-modeling certain key behaviors – admitting when we’ve messed up, saying sorry and asking for forgiveness, brainstorming ways we could all do it better next time, taking the consequences, asking for help when we don’t know what to do. Affirmation: I can turn regret into wisdom. Find more here
Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Buschell talk about being kinder to ourselves in this episode. Self-Talk is the conversations that we have with ourselves. They become the basis of our thoughts. The more we have these thoughts the more we believe them as TRUE. These thoughts are very powerful, because they become the way that we feel and then the way we act in different situations. From early on in our lives, we start having these conversations. However, it’s important to learn (from as young as possible) that many of these conversations and thoughts are NOT true. We have the power to confront and change these thoughts. This is a very powerful way of setting ourselves free from the negative feelings and behaviors in our lives. We do this through a process of - Catch, Confront, Change. Catch negative thoughts about yourself. Confront them by asking – are you true and useful? And then where appropriate, change them for something more accurate and useful. At first, you might miss the thoughts before they have already become a hard feeling. When you have the hard feeling, start by asking yourself – what thought might have caused this unhappy feeling. Then confront that thought. Affirmations are a great way of gently correcting and realigning the conversations and thoughts we are having. Take control of your thoughts and feelings, by periodically dropping in kind and affirming thoughts about yourself. Affirmation: I am enough. I am a deserving recipient of love and kindness in the world.
Kindness is such a simple word. We all have experienced the joy of kindness in our lives. We all aspire to be kinder. We believe that kindness has the power to change the world. Yet, knowing how to be kinder in an increasingly tough world is sometimes hard for all of us. In this podcast series - which launches on 31 August 2019, Jane Linley-Thomas and Paul Buschell explore fun and easy ways to be kinder in different situations in our lives. Website