We are living in a world where unconditional love is hard to find. This is the kind of love that has no conditions, where one person will always love the other person, no matter what they do. Unfortunately, many relationships are based on conditional love, on what one person can get from the other, what favors they can offer each other or what happiness they can give each other.

In school, I wanted to be friends with the students who commanded respect from others, those who had a voice that could be heard in our circles. My motive for getting in such relationships was that I wanted to gain their favor, not that I really loved them or valued those relationships. And so, my love was conditional because, if they were to lose their social positions, I would no longer value them as friends.

Back then, I did not understand what true love is. But today, I want to love people—not because of what I can get from them but with genuine love—the kind of love God has shown us. Because God loved us, He gave His Son, Jesus (John 3:16). He did not love us for what He could get from us. Instead, God showed His love by giving Himself up for us (Ephesians 5:25).

God’s love is unconditional. What does this look like? Jesus showed us. On the night before He went to the cross, He took the position of a servant and washed His disciples’ feet, knowing that they would soon desert Him. And then He commanded them to love each other as He had loved them (John 13:14-15; 15:12). Jesus showed us the full extent of God’s love when He died on the cross and took our sins upon Himself, and then rose from the dead, defeating sin and death forever. If we’ve put our trust in Jesus, we can know that we are held securely in His love. And when we rest in God’s unconditional love for us, it becomes possible for us to love others.

Philippians 2 says, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (verse 5). This means not doing anything out of selfish ambition, not looking out only for our own interests but also for the interests of others (verses 3-4). Because God loves us, we can love one another (1 John 4:19). • Enid Adah Nyinomujuni

• How might knowing that God loves you unconditionally help you love others unselfishly?

• If someone has hurt you deeply, you don’t need to be in relationship with them. Instead, love might look like setting up healthy boundaries. Who is a trusted adult you could talk to about this?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son [Jesus], that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)