No One Told Me: Recent Episodes
Callie Holland
No One Told Me is for all of those times you wished someone just a little ahead of you would tell you what they did in the same situation, in the same season of life.
Marriage isn’t easy for anyone. You’re taking two people who maybe knew about 70% of each other, committing them for life + telling them – go figure out the other 30% as you go. I’ll be the first to say – 5% of the 30% you don’t know is discovered when you clean the bathroom for the first time after moving in together. Too much? That feels like maybe too much. But, like always, I went and found someone far ahead of me to help me navigate the really tough parts that we won’t always see coming. From communication, to new rhythms, to navigating conflict and of course the complete reset that happens once kids enter the mix. Marriage is hard – but it doesn’t have to stay hard. Push play to hear from a couple whose marriage shaped me just by proximity, and now through this conversation.
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Why does this sometimes feel controversial? I want to raise my daughter in a world where these two words – women + leadership – doesn’t cause awe…but is the norm. I want her ceiling to be set only by her own personal, healthy boundaries. I want women & leadership to be less about fighting her way to the top and more about confidently walking into rooms based on her God-given gifting, talent and specific call on her life. I hope there are people leading her workplaces that set aside assumed narratives and instead take the time to know her and position her to grow. If this is what I want for her…I want to be a part of building it. Women like Kadi Cole, today’s podcast guest, are paving the way by walking into companies, organizations and churches with simple insights and strategies on how to create space for women to grow consistently. Today’s episode, Kadi talks about gender differences in leadership styles/approaches, the role of emotions in decision making, finding your leadership voice and tons more. This is a conversation always worth having.
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Honestly, there's not catchy title here. Just the cold hard facts that I'm reminded of almost daily. My mom always said your kids have a way of making a liar out of you...and she's right. I was the perfect parent before I had kids and now I'm trying to calculate if the protein in the ice cream I promised them for cleaning up counts toward their daily intake.
Here's what I know - this is one area of life you have to find people ahead of you. Kristin Geren is one of those people for me. I love her kids and want to know literally everything she did to make them so great. So, I handed her a mic and asked all the things I need to know because parenting takes an overly populated village/metropolis. Push play to add us to your village - we all need each other.
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The current generation is the first to have their everyday influenced by people who are paid to...influence. The generation stepping into the workforce has a new category to consider and, yeah, I'm buying the gua sha because someone on TikTok told me it would give me a sharper jawline.
But in this world of influencers - how often are we paying attention to what's going in and how it impacts what's going out? How often are we considering our own personal influence? Are we hiding behind the excuse that because we don't carry a certain number of follows, likes, shares that our influence isn't real and growing?
And, most importantly, how are we wielding the influence? Because whether or not you agree - you carry influence. (I honestly can't believe how many times I just used the word influence.) Push play and share with your people who want to influence our world intentionally and actively instead of passively.
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Women today are a part of a pivotal generation. I mean, no pressure or anything. But we're seeing - and participating - in a generation pushing up against the tension of career and family without choosing one or the other. Both...we can have both. This is a generation of women choosing to dream and change course - even if it doesn't always makes sense. A generation of women raising women to know and believe that the opinions of others shouldn't always dictate her personal choices.
This conversation with author, Kimberly Stuart, brought so much validation and let's be honest - empowerment - to the art of juggling career progression and motherhood. Her significant insights into pursuing professional dreams alongside personal commitments - chef's kiss. Kimberly takes a word that usually gives me hives - "patience" - and reconstructs it to be an asset rather than a punishment in pivotal seasons of life. We talk about dealing with other people’s opinions, the need to nurture passions and the importance of engaging your whole family in your dreams and pursuits. And I'm also outed for my complete lack of understanding of general geographical information. It is what it is.
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New year, new you. Meh. If you like the vibe of fresh starts, resets new opportunities - but struggle to adjust mentally, emotionally and physically to what all that newness seems to require...go ahead and push play.
Whether it's a new major, new job, new relationship, new role (that "mom" title will sendddd you) - whatever shifts usually comes with what the 90's called an identity-crisis. A whole "who am I and what the heck am I doing" mentality. The good news: It's normal. The bad news: It's real uncomfortable. My friend Taylor, who's navigated a lot of change in the past decade, grabs the mic to share what worked - and didn't - in these twists you don't always see coming.
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I won't lie - I was on one when this was recorded. You can probably tell by the - forcefulness - of the reading...but I've had so many conversations lately with women who are riding a merry-go-round of the same sights and wondering why nothing changes.
If you feel restless, there's actually one fairly common reason why. We'll talk about it in today's episode, along with how to get off the merry-go-round of approval and the practical things I do to make sure I'm functioning fully (or, like, mostly) in the gifting I'm most confident in.
In conclusion, I'm not yelling at you in this episode. Just, more so, strongly advising with an elevated voice.
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We've all been there. Seriously, all of us. We find something that stirs us up, makes us want to run in a specific direction - but then we start pumping the brakes as we think about what someone else might say/think/do in response to our decisions. Or maybe someone makes a comment in passing that shakes every ounce of confidence we worked so hard to build.
One of NOTM's favorite guests, Kaley Hollingsworth, is back again to kick off a new season and a new year with a conversation about endurance, obedience in spite of doubt and navigating fear in the face of forward motion. This is for the ones who have an idea, dream or stirring toward doing something new or outside of your norm & the ones who need to know to keep going right where they are...even if it feels mundane.
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Okay, wait. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you're going to be real confused so just scroll up a bit and push play on that before you push play here. Otherwise, we're diving right back in to the conversation around where your confidence is and what happens when you start putting your confidence and identity anywhere but where it belongs. (Spoiler: Burn out. That's what happens.) We're continuing our conversation with Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, and you're really lucky because you'll even get to hear a part we meant to edit out, but it will live forever in episode 179. We're all just doing our best out here, guys.
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This right here...this is a conversation I wish I'd had sooner. Building confidence in any area of life is hard, but what if it was less about confidence in one area and more about being a confident person? Because if all we are is tied up in what we can or cannot do - our confidence is built on some pretty rickety foundations. Today's episode with my friend Somer Phoebus, co-founder of She Works His Way, covers questions like:
-What skills or mindsets do you wish you could go back and learn sooner?
-How do you know to pump the brakes and when to push for more?
-When do you keep at something and when do you know it's time to let it go?
And this is JUST PART ONE! This conversation was so good that we talked for over an hour and we all know ya'll aren't going to catch allllll the good stuff if you have to listen that long. So push play on part one and look forward to part two next week!
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Call it imposter syndrome, call it an identity crisis or just call it plain ol doubt - regardless of the name it carries, second-guessing yourself isn't just a you thing. If we were all a little more honest with ourselves and with each other we'd realize it's an us thing.
In the last episode, we talked about why we hit burn out, what's happening to most women in the workplace and what adjustments we have to make personally and lots of other things I wish I'd learned sooner. This is a continuation of the conversation with my friend, Michelle Myers, from She Works His Way.
I spent years trying to find someone ahead of me who was working a lot, leaning into ministry opportunities all while raising a family. Honestly, I wish I had met Michelle so much sooner and you'll feel the same after you listen to this episode.
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Every now and then we like to do episodes around the conversations we find ourselves having the most often. While on a few afternoon walks or over a McAlister's chicken salad sandwich, I'm hearing a lot of the same questions:
How do I separate my work life and my personal life?
What does it look like to work really hard, but still able to come home and do other things outside of work?
How do I grow into leadership positions without coming across entitled?
I don't like what I'm doing right now, I'd rather be doing (fill in the blank). Should I quit?
There have been a lot of questions about leadership, healthy relationships at work and really how to be someone others want to work with.
Most of what we'll talk about as we answer these questions are things I wish I'd learned sooner, things I really only learned by looking back and evaluating what should've been different before I hit the bottom of my tank.
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First time moms and multi-time moms, we need each other. NOTM favorite, Whitney, jumps in to share her own insights into arguably the biggest 'no one told me' season some women ever experience. With fresh baby waiting for her at home, Whit talks about what she wishes more women knew about motherhood and why changing her sheets has become a non-negotiable. (Those two things aren't actually related.)
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Long title, right? And that barely covers everything talked about in this episode with Amanda Held Opelt. She's one of my favorite guests ever on NOTM because of her genuine honesty and authenticity as she figures it all out right along with us. What should we be more worried about than figuring out what to do with our lives? Why is learning to steward where we are more important than uncovering where we're going? Why do we believe that being bored or frustrated means we're getting life wrong? Is it okay to sometimes be restless even though you have a good life? What are the red flags that pride is making more of your decisions than humility?
See? I'm telling you - we cover all the bases and then the outfield, too. Okay, so maybe a sports analogy isn't exactly on brand around here, but you get it. Listen and then share it with all your friends. They need it, too.
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When you find yourself in the uncomfortable, unexpected and maybe unwanted seasons of life - there's one thing we can all agree on: Bangs are not the answer. Here's the thing, you will undoubtedly land yourself in moments you wish would pass a little faster. And moments you wish would slow down.
So, how do you navigate the rollercoaster?
My friend, Kaley, has been on this coaster with me since my early 20's. We've figured out how to make decisions when none of the options seemed great, how to keep moving forward when you don't know what forward looks like and how to avoid trying to control all the small things when the big things start getting out of hand.
If you've ever wanted to push fast forward on where you're at - just go ahead and push play.
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There are few seasons of life filled with more "no one told me" moment than motherhood. This podcast launched from a living room tirade against the hospitals that let people who know nothing about babies take a baby home (i.e. hospitals *fairly* send babies home with their first-time parents). Three kids deep and I'm still trying to navigate all being a mom requires - so I brought in a mom with 40+ years experience under her belt to look back and harness her own hindsight on behalf of all the mothers coming after her. My mom, who I lovingly call Carol Barrel, sits down and shares the top things she wish she'd learn sooner when she moved into the mother-hood.
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Two things we're usually terrible at: transitions & incredibly high expectations. We spend so much time imagining the other side of a transition - the new role, new relationship, new job, new addition to the family...we forget the toll of what it takes to get there. Expectations hold more power than we think, and most times all it takes is a transition to show us that truth. I find myself in the heart of transition, within multiple areas of my life, and what makes or breaks each day is how I navigate what I expect versus what I experience.
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In our final installment of the mini series, Good To Know, Sam and Katelyn take on what drives much of our fears: Failure. But there's freedom in knowing no failure is ever final. There's always more to your story.
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What if we viewed fear as an invitation into faith? What if we decided to keep walking in spite of our fear? What if we spent less time imagining scenarios that will probably never be and more time claiming the promises of rooted in all God has already done?
What if we stopped asking, "What if..."?
These are choices. And we're choosing to claim that fear will not be our future. Sam and Katelyn continue their NOTM take over with an important conversation full of Truths that are good to know - Fear Is Not My Future.
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You know what complicates? Feelings. Whether it's deciding which job to take, which relationships are healthy or if your heart wants Chick-fil-a or Moe's for dinner - it feels almost impossible to separate the onslaught of emotion from the final decision made. So how do we train our hearts and thoughts to recognize feelings without letting them dictate our everyday? While our host, Callie, is still on baby leave, our friends Sam and Katelyn step in with NOTM mini series, Good To Know, focusing today on what we all need to know: Feelings Are Not Facts.
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Sam and Katelyn are putting a different spin on things around here over the next few weeks. They’re going to take a look back on the past few years of their lives and share insights in their mini-series, Good To Know. What was actually really useful to be aware of what advice needed to go straight in the garbage?
That kind of insight really would be Good to Know.
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We have to identify and fight our hesitation to do anything until we understand everything. That's not a life of faith. We don't have to see the full picture to be confident in our next step. I can't wait for you to hear more from Katie Davis Majors as she shares her story of faithful steps on a path she couldn't always see clearly.
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We're throwing it back to one of our most listened to and shared episodes. This episode shaped my approach to my overall health as a woman as I learned what to fight for and the right questions to be asking. Dr. Edie Wadsworth provides insights, backed by research and intensive study, that will help inform the decisions you make on behalf of your health and the health of your family. Here's everything I wish I'd learned about these pesky things called hormones.
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Faithlessly discarding every circumstance that is less than what we expected or desired means we’re only faithfully following our own will instead of His. We’re claiming our own sovereignty over our story. What if instead of asking God to change the circumstance around me, I lean into asking God to change me?
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What does it look like to be faithful with what's in your hands? How do you continually put your best effort forward and trust God to fill the many gaps you leave behind?
There will be seasons you feel an urge to try something new, to do something that makes you a little uncomfortable and a whole lot nervous. This conversation with my new friend, Hannah Weidmann, is rooted in living in the tension of "I really don't want to do this" and "I know I'm supposed to do this".
She's the founder of Everyday Heirloom, a jewelry business about a whole lot more than jewelry. She shares about stumbling into starting a business and a family at the same time, her incredibly Hallmark-esque story of meeting and marrying her husband and how, while she lacked vision and comfort for what God asked of her, time in molded a brand new perspective on the story He was crafting. Here's Waiting On A Season To Make Sense.
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While none of us are experts, and honestly probably never will be because I still fly into a semi-rage every week when my husband and I play trashcan Jenga until one of us breaks down and takes the trash out - there is so much I wish I would've learned sooner about how to navigate relationships. Within this episode alone, there are so many small nuggets of wisdom to take into singleness, dating, engagement and those first few years of marriage. Here's my conversation with my friends, Sam and Katelyn, Relationships: What We Learned The Hard Way.
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The stress related to pressures can, over time, lead to physical manifestations and slowly start to impact mental and emotional stability. In the end, if left unaddressed, it can lead to a breaking point many refer to as burn out. Suddenly, you struggle to find joy in what once brought you so much joy.
Many of us don't take the time to create, implement and sustain healthy practices for navigating inevitable pressure. Growth has a tendency of happening under pressure. Not always, but pretty often.
I invited an old personal and No One Told Me friend, Kaley, into this conversation because not only has she seen me at my most pressurized, but we've walked through so many of these maxed-out seasons together.
Within this episode we'll talk about the breaking points we've rubbed up against, what we wish we'd learned sooner about healthy pressure vs. unhealthy pressure and what rhythms of life we've brought in to make sure we can navigate all of the pressures we come up against in our every day.
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There's always this temptation to leave, isn't there? In relationships, plans, jobs - prolonged discomfort makes us feel cornered into only one option: escape.
Today's guest, Natalie Runion, moved across states to walk into a dream position, but quickly found she had to navigate something less than dream-like. That moment led to the launch of a counter-cultural sentiment: Raised to Stay. Instead of validating every single reason to go, she pressed in to learn what it means to stay.
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An opportunity may be good, but that doesn't mean it's right. As we get older, more doors swing open. New relationships, job opportunities, big moves - pivotal points hinge on our ability to discern direction. And, I'll be honest, sometimes my compass is off. In this episode, I'll share the moments I had to change direction after not-great decisions and the questions I now ask myself before walking through any open door.
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Over the past year, so many of my conversations have circled back around to one topic: Calling. How do you zero in on your purpose and what does it look like to actually live within that purpose? Something about the end of the year stirs all of those questions because deep down, we're a little scared we're missing it. Or that it's somehow passed us by. All I can do is what we aim to do every week on this podcast - speak from experience. If you stumble through understanding the call on your life or just feel the pressure to understand it - start here.
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Listen, the turns this episode takes...I could barely keep up. Two of my very favorite people, twin sisters Brooke and Brittany, unpack past and current Christmas traditions, and well, just a whole lot more. Skincare, shutting down unsolicited advice, navigating Santa + Jesus with your kids and how in the world do you combine and eliminate traditions once you get married. Grab your cocoa and Rudolph sweater - we have a lot to cover.
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I get it, that word - grief - is like a red flag to keep scrolling. Why would you voluntarily push play on an emotion we spend much of our time trying to avoid? But that's the exact reason why you should push play. Grief is the greatest emotion no one tells us about...because no one wants to talk about it. Makes sense. Until you find yourself trying to navigate the loss of a person, relationship, expectation, dream. Then what? That overwhelming feeling we spend so much time trying to shove away into the back corners of our minds only begins to show up in new ways we never saw coming. Whether you're grieving now - or later - you and your people will be better on the other side of this episode.
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A few episodes ago, in For When You Feel Buried, we talked about how to keep doing what you know to do when you don't really feel like doing anything at all. Consider this a follow-up of sorts. These are lessons gleaned from a year I didn't really want to walk through. A year I wanted an escape route out of. These are lessons from letting go.
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If you're new to No One Told Me, let me explain. Our Did Anyone Tell You episodes are a break from the norm, meant to give you all you need in any small-talk-required situation. NOTM friends, Kaley and Khari, jump in this time around to share their personal Halloween experiences...that will most likely surprise you. Take a breath, laugh a little and have the happiest of Halloweens.
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You know what I'm ready for? What I'm doing my very best to build? A soft life. I'm tired of this life lived trying to prove something, you know? Because it never ends. There's always some new finish line to get to, and as I get older - I want less focus on where I'm finishing in the race and more focus on how I'm running it.
The soft life is in not trying to live a life being who anyone else wants you to be, but paying attention to who you are and who Jesus is calling you to be in spite of expectations and circumstances. It's not easy. But it's possible. And the more we focus on learning our own rhythms instead of trying to match the rhythms of everyone else - the more we'll learn what it means to walk steadily and humbly, only seeking to please our Creator instead of chasing everything we're creating.
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Today we're rolling with my new friend, Stephanie May Wilson. She's an author, podcast host, coach and all around encourager - that's my kind of people. So, I think she's your kind of people too. We spend the next half hour talking about how much we want to back out of commitment when the time comes to execute on the commitment, how we hype ourselves up in really hard seasons, how to walk with other people who aren't going through anything we've ever been through...really it's just about how to stay right where you are even though you kind of wish you were anywhere else. There's lots that can keep you from living fully where you are - but now's the time to equip yourself to grab hold of the fullness and keep walking.
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Community is just...hard. Whether you’re rolling into a new chapter in life with a new job or a new city, new husband, new baby - these big life shifts create big emotional and mental shifts and really all you want is for someone to be like, “Yeah, I get it. Let’s walk through it together." We want to show up exactly how we are without having to perform or cover anything up. That’s the gold standard of friendship, right? You can be exactly who you are without any fear of changing the relationship.
While I don’t have a magic community forming formula for you, we do maybe have ways to approach building community. Hopefully these are some points of comfort and encouragement, so by the end, you know you’re not as alone as you think in trying to find your people.
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If you've ever found yourself shape shifting, becoming who someone else needs you to be, saying yes when you really want to say no...
If you find yourself completely at a loss when someone asks, "What do you really want?" - you're in the best place to discover the best of you with our friend Dr Alison Cook.
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If you, like me, feel a little buried in your season...by disappointment, expectations, uncertainty - push play. Let's be honest, push play even if you don't, because this is just one of those things that happens. And you'll be happy to know what to do when it does.
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I didn't know. No one had ever told me how what starts with good intentions, can morph and grow into something you never meant for it to be.
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Every now and again, you need a conversation the meanders. You know the kind? It starts at A, but ends up at Z without clear directives on how exactly we there. These Did Anyone Tell You episodes with NOTM Best Friends, Khari and Kaley, are full of the things you didn't know you wanted to know. Small tidbits of information that equip you to participate in the conversation around Jack Harlow's transport over the Kentucky Derby field a couple weeks ago. See? You didn't know you needed to know that. Just over here filling all of the Need To Know gaps - one Did Anyone Tell You at a time.
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Bethny Ricks has over 18 years of leadership experience, most recently holding the position of Senior Vice President of Global Human Resources. Her ability to take that experience and equip those coming behind her has led to one of the most rich conversations I've had over the past three years of podcasting.
These are the lessons I wish I'd leaned into sooner. The words I wish I'd thought to pay attention to earlier on. Her insight into leadership dynamics from the top, down, and from the bottom, up - no matter if you're in the workplace or holding it down at home...this is worth pushing play.
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Our mid-30's (first of all, how did we get here?!) - we are different than we were and in ten years, we'll be different than we are today. Looking back, what do we know now that we didn't then? What can we say with confidence and what are we still learning?
College years to after college. Dating to marriage. Honeymoon to babies. NOTM favorite, Brooke, sits across from me at her kitchen table, combing through the years gone by and the years to come.
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Why do we feel like we have to explain ourselves? Why do we feel like we have to settle? What do we consistently lower our standards? And why do we buy into the narrative that we are, in fact, too much?
What if...we didn't? My friend, Ainsley Britain, she's out to change the story. Addressing shame, self-worth and our ability to create - and keep - boundaries...she's not just changing the story, she's re-writing it.
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We didn't know who we would be on the other side of a pandemic. How could we? Most of us are still trying to figure it out. But for all the loss we experienced over the past two years - what have we gained?
A deeper understanding of who we are? Maybe, like my friend Emma, a better view of the role shame plays in your life and a decision to stop living as if you ever had control to begin with. Once we start removing the obstacles to seeing the life God calls us to live...then, and only then, will we have a better view.
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Three years in, and these are still some of my favorite episodes. Khari & Kaley grab a mic and sit down to talk about the happenings of March...a week late. But, it still counts right? From the Oscars, to the forgotten/paused New Year Resolutions, to whether or not Millennials have already had their moment - we're checking off your "things to talk about when I don't know what to talk about" box.
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It is difficult to know God’s ways if we are trying to make our own way.
When we push, pull and maneuver ourselves to a better view, the view we’ve decided we deserve, all we end up seeing is less than what we want.
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Hey God, if what I’m walking in right now brings you the most glory…then this is where I want to be. Those are hard words to say. Especially when you feel like you’re walking through impossible circumstances. Especially when you’re in a season you don’t want to be on. A season you would’ve never picked for yourself.My friend Lauren, when she said those words a few weeks ago at The Collective, I just about fell out of my chair. When His glory becomes more important than our comfort – something big is happening. Something that could change the whole trajectory of our lives. Lauren speaks about her deepest desires, the wants she lays before God and asks for Him to show up in. And then what she does, the practices she has in place, for the days those desires and wants feel like they’re overwhelming any joy she might find. Deep joy is in loosening your grip. I can’t wait for you to hear more from Lauren.
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We wait for a feeling, a sign…a written letter addressed directly to us at “Please Tell Me What To Do, Apt 23”. We want to pray about it. We try to about it. But we wake up, or lay down…and our minds wander. The to-do lists, multiple texts, workload, laundry load…something is always in the wings, inching its way into our thoughts right when we bow our heads to address our Father. In steps Valerie. The phrase “prayer life” feels big – but what if we could break it down? What if we could learn the difference between our feelings and God’s callings? What if…our conversations with God started to feel like more than talking to ceilings?
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Those seasons of life you don't know what to do with. The ones that aren't defined by anything specific, you're just on the way to the next specific thing. You know what I mean? These are the seasons we grab at, cling to, run toward anything that feels definitive. And usually? It just slides through our hands because it really was never meant to define us.
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When all you want to do is throw it in reverse. When you're looking for a way out - any way out - of where you are right now. When the wilderness feels more like a punishment than a path to the promised land. What then?
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Today, we continue our conversation with my friend, Brooke Phillips. She speaks from her pain points, sharing the kind of wisdom and clarity gained only from walking through suffering. And the greatest gift? She pours it back out into our seasons, our pain - pointing us toward what's on the other side: Hope.
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We spend a lot of time thinking about, dreaming of, maybe writing down what we want our relationships to look like, BE like. And then we're in a relationship and we have to figure out - what of this really matters, and what is just a part of the deal? When you strip everything away - and in this case e v e r y t h i n g is stripped away - how do you rebuild?
There's still hope. Because our God only writes good stories.
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Years 9 and 10 have carried some of our greatest growth points. Our most painful, frustrating, confusing growth points. Our most rich, deep, soul-finding growth points. On this episode, the one time a year I convince my husband, Ryan, to pick up a mic, we look back and inspect how we're different, yet still feel the same about each other. Sometimes, the reality actually is better than the dream.
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I wish someone would've told me how easy it is to harden your heart. How easy it is to grab on to your preferences and sacrifice anyone and anything at the altar of what I want or think is most right.
As we kick off Realities of Relationships, Charaia and I talk about what her heart has been for since she started sharing her writing a couple years ago. How do we stay soft in a really hard world? How do we approach conversations that could be triggering with a soft heart and open hands? And how do we come back from deep pain caused by people we love the most?
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These are two people I count it a privilege to spend time with. Khari and Kaley drop in every month for our Did Anyone Tell You segment, where we talk about the things of the month that could prove super beneficial to know if you find yourself playing trivia or trying to make small talk as you fill up you two gallon water bottle you got at the beginning in January when you committed to drinking more water in 2022.
I'm never quite sure where the conversation is going to go, but man do I love being along for the ride. I hope you do, too. Here's the January 2022 edition of Did Anyone Tell You with my friends, Khari and Kaley.
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We're in heart of talking about how we can cultivate peace because I'll tell you one thing - no one EVER told me how hard peace is to keep.
My conversation with my friend Connie, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who has talked with us before about creating boundaries and dealing with our shame. This time, we're talking about pursuing peace in spite of.
Because that's what we all really have to figure out, how do we grow and maintain peace in spite of our circumstances. By the end, I hope you're better than before you pushed play.
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Instead of letting thoughts float in and out, leaving whatever damage they may in their wake, what if we thought about our thoughts? That feels overwhelming. And I don't actually know where to start on the concept.
So, I asked my friend Allysen, a counselor with degrees and experience to equip us for peace.
She talks through what happens to start the spiral and, practically, how do we work our way out of it?
How do we maintain our footing when the avalanche of thoughts, feelings and circumstance keep knocking our feet out from under us?
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I’ve spent years treating peace as a commodity to be gained or earned instead of a seed waiting to be fed and watered.
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These are the seven things I found myself saying to those I’ve had the privilege to walk beside this year. These are the seven things I found myself saying to…myself this year.
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everyone? What boundaries should you try for and how in the world do you navigate the tricky business that is your significant other seeing your family in all its glory?
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You're not alone in your loneliness. This episode proves it. Now it's time to do something about it.
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means to stop trying to make our lives look like someone else's and step into the freedom of being okay where you are. If you found yourself in those questions we talked about in the beginning - you'll definitely find yourself in this episode.
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I find a whole lot of comfort in the words of other parents floating in the same boat as me. Those of us realizing we don't know what we're doing, but really wanting to raise kids that look like Jesus. Feeling all the exhaustion that comes with the pressure.
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This conversation with Sharon Hodde Miller is full of honesty and might leave you looking a little deeper. In a good way - I promise.
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These are some of my favorite episodes. These episodes are meant to be a breath of air from the heavy, from the pressure to go, to do and to prove. Within these episodes - you can just be. I hope you feel like you're hanging out with friends, talking about the things that don't matter a lot but matter in that moment.
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If you're functioning in overwhelm, feeling the pressure of decisions or just ready to approach life with a whole lot more pressure - this is for you.
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Torn between a lot of good things? Tired of guilt guiding decisions? Ready to simplify the complicated? You're in the right place.
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try...well, anything. So, what does it look to try - even when you're afraid?
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There's the start. And then there's the finish. That space between? That's where you're becoming.
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Squarely into my 30's, I've learned something about my 20's - there's a lot of false starts. So, let me say it again - that's okay. There's something to be gained in the false starts and it ends up being one of the greatest leadership tools. We talk about how painful it can be when someone you love doesn't support you, how do you pursue what others may not always understand and what does it look like to pursue and protect your peace? It can lead to a whole lot of freedom.
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With every new season, my favorite thing to do is think about what I want to keep from that season and what I want to leave behind. It means evaluating where you were, where you are and where you're trying to go.
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Intentionality. It's a word that implies a choice. And as I've gotten older, I've learned the weight of the choices I didn't think mattered all that much. My thoughts knew no bounds. My mind wandered freely. And now there are paths carved between my heart and my thoughts that leave me feeling defeated before I've even started.
How about you? Are your thoughts what you want them to be? Have you practiced the art of training them to be for you rather than against you? Let's start here.
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This is not an episode about how to keep going or three easy steps to overcoming. This is an episode about perspective within it. You won't avoid it, this feeling of disappointment, so let's talk about how we can face it.
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How we've treated the waiting could be while we're still waiting.
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Who are you taking higher? Who takes you higher? The people in your corner make all the difference in your pursuit for more.
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This is where we lay the groundwork and then hear from a few women who have found themselves unsettled personally. If you feel a desire for more, but aren't sure where to start - we hope you find your first step here.
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This entire season of No One Told Me - all 35 episodes - was working toward this last 15 minutes together.
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You know what I’m very good at? Suggesting. Sometimes uninvited suggestions, because when my people are in something – a crisis, heartache, problem – I think they must be telling me so I can share with them how to get out of it. My heart hurts so much for them that I want nothing more than to push and pull them out if it. But the goal isn’t always to get out. We have to get through. So how can I be better about sitting in it instead of finding ways out? What’s the balance between learning what this season has to offer and navigating to the other side? I think it’s in holding both. The pain or uncertainty of now and the hope of then. I spent some time talking to ANOTHER Instagram friend, Taylor Schumann, who wrote when thoughts and prayers aren’t enough. Her story is unique. But her perspective is unifying. Learning how to come around the hard stuff with soft hearts. Knowing how to ask for help and how to help by simply listening. Taylor Schumann Writes Taylor Schumann Instagram
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While most Did Anyone Tell You episodes are meant to cover anything you might have missed in the headlines each month - this one is steeped more in the past than the present. If ever there was an episode that could be marked oversharing - it's this one. But, honestly - no regrets. Kaley and Khari are back for another round of Did Anyone Tell You.
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The path to and in motherhood is different for everyone. Literally everyone. Some of you may be on it, in it or no where near it, and some may be struggling toward it. Wherever you are - whichever season you find yourself right now - this episode is simply a moment of preparation and recognition.
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If you haven't yet - you will. You will feel stuck, knowing you want more, but not knowing where to start. Let's talk about it.
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Listen, you may start this episode not knowing who Toni J Collier is, but you’ll end it wanting to know everything about her. She’s got a story to tell, and a heart to empower women to keep telling their own story – no matter what it looks like. I honestly just hope you have your tennis shoes on because you’ll want to run some laps after this one. Or just like move your feet really fast under your desk if running isn’t an option…or preferable to you. We’re inclusive here. Toni shares how she navigates the pain of her past, the push to pursue more and how she settled into who she was before she started chasing down what she wanted to do. I love this lady – I know you will, too. Toni J Collier IG Broken Crayons Still Color
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Who's in the real hot seat - the interviewer or the interviewed? We both feel it this week.
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Can you remember when it was? When you started believing there was something wrong with how you looked?
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There are some things you need to know. There are things you don't need to know. And some things you don't know how you know. These Did Anyone Tell You episodes cover all three.
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Will I allow myself to believe what only I see or will I ask myself, instead, what if my vision is clouded by voices that were never meant to shape me? You have these voices too, I bet. And I think it's time we do something about it.
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I’m not trying to be a broken record here – but do you know everything your hormones impact? Fatigue, anxiety, weight gain, sex drive, temper…overall outlook on life. As we continue trying to intentionally pursue a state of balance with our mental health – we would be dummies to ignore how our hormones play a part in all of it. I get it though, sometimes you’re sitting on that cold metal table with the thin paper that keeps sticking to your legs, trying to describe your symptoms to your doctor and you know something’s wrong – but you just can’t put a finger on the source. Today’s guest, Dr. Heather Rhodes, she knows exactly how that feels. She spent years pursuing a diagnosis that never came. One she eventually discovered herself after tons of research and paying attention to what was going on in and around her. Now she takes that knowledge and pours it into women all over the country as she teaches how we can partner with our bodies to heal the hormones our environments break down. We’ll talk about the symptoms to pay attention to, how what’s around us impacts us and the questions we need to be asking to find natural and practical options to start the process of healing what feels broken. Dr. Heather Rhodes Website Dr. Heather Rhodes Instagram
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Listen, this conversation you’re about to hear with my new friend, Alison Cook, felt like I was sitting on a couch across from her, tasking her with helping me navigate the things I’ve spent years avoiding navigating. There’s one part, about a quarter of the way in, where Alison talks about adjusting how you approach the personal narratives you’ve spent years telling yourself.
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If no one's told you yet, let me be the first: There are seasons of life that will leave you feeling restless, stuck in feelings you don't know what to do with...feelings you, at times, don't know how to talk about.
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Then, it's time for this month’s did anyone tell you with our friends, Khari and Whitney. These episodes just help you come up with something to say when you inevitably find yourself in a group of people with nothing to say.
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This is part two of answering your questions you sent in to @notmpodcast on Instagram. We’re getting into the more practical sides of things and bringing our husbands along for the ride.
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After our conversation on purity culture, we went over to @notmpodcast and asked some questions: Where are the gaps in what you know about intimacy? In what you knew?
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We enter marriage with an expectation. An idea. And when that expectation isn’t met, when the idea remains just that...an idea...we’re left with disappointment and apprehension.
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I didn't realize until my adult years how often small talk is required of you. Whether it's in the office, on the first day of class, at your kid's baseball game, at the family dinner when your aunt decides to invite her neighbors…small talk is a requirement of adulthood. These Did Anyone Tell You Episodes are here to equip you with some quick pieces of information to keep in your back pocket to use to amaze your acquaintances. Amaze is probably a slight overstatement. But just slightly.
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One of the key parts of going deeper - our intention for 2021 - is showing up. Whether it's for your personal growth or relational growth - going deeper requires you to show up.
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Wait, wait, wait. This isn't about your new year resolution or your word for 2021. It's more...focused. Intentional. On purpose.
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Here it is. The end of 2020 coming in hot, but I think we can say this year as a whole has continually come in hot. I was hoping we could end the year with the balance of mindful and mindless we’ve all been trying strike. You know, trying to be mindful of the space we’re in, the time we spend, but also needing a break from all the personal growth we, at times, felt pressured to undergo this year.
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Some weeks, I just need to unload, you know? I need some time to decompress and just talk about life here and now. Not what I want it to be, not what I wish I could do or be - but the current state of affairs. It just feels better to talk it all out, you know? So, here I am with one of No One Told Me's favorites, Brooke, talking about life which includes, but isn't limited to, virtual school, quarantine, home building, raising kids, why we say yes to chaos, the pressures of the car pick up line and why my bumper isn't attached to my car. Also, botox. Because let me tell you something, it has been a highlight of 2020.
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Reminder: Moving is the worst. And just like with moving when you discover random baskets filled with a watch battery, a phone from 2008 and sunglass cases for sunglasses you lost three years ago – we all need to be reminded that things deserve to have places in our homes and when they don’t we have to face them eventually. The only exception is junk drawers. You’re allowed three of those within your home. Who am I kidding? You’re allowed as many as it takes to make sure said junk is out of sight. I guess I just think it’s a good thing to have some reminders every season on what makes our homes spaces we are able to rest. Something about an organized house makes the disorganization in my head a little less…distracting. Anyway, this conversation with home organizer, Kristi Clover, has some easy practices for making your space, your home, office, dorm room, car…less blah and more yeah. When I wrote that, it felt right. Now I’m a little unsure. Anyway, here’s our conversation.
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This episode is for anyone who has felt like you’re not __________ enough. Funny, quiet, inviting, loud, happy, empathetic – enough. Holley Gerth is an author and life coach I stumbled on because of her passion for building real, life-shaping relationships by leaning into who you are instead of what you feel like someone expects you to be. This episode is also for those of us who take a minute to figure out how to make friends once you’re out of your college bubble. How do you continue to lean into growing relationships when everything else pulls you away from it? Really, just, how do you make friends? See, a bunch of us adults are asking the question for the first time because we’ve lived our lives essentially being friends with whoever we’re around. And then we go into the real world and learn, usually the hard way, friendships are intentional – not optional. They don’t just happen. It requires vulnerability, authenticity and – most importantly – time. Many of you have been asking the same question this year: How do you make friends as an adult? And I just happened to discover this episode Holly and I recorded a while back and knew now was the perfect time to air it.
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I like spooky stories. Until I try to go to sleep. Khari and Kaley jump on for our monthly Did Anyone Tell You episode with the perfect stories for your night around the campfire. And an ending that surprised us all. Mainly because the batteries ran out on the recorder. Enjoy.
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If you’ve ever thought, “I wonder if I could…” but weren’t sure where to start in even trying something new - this conversation is for you. The fear, the doubt, the rejection - you won’t be or aren’t the only one to face it. I hope this helps.
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A continued conversation on a topic that has inadvertently, or sometimes obviously, woven its way into the canvas of our lives. After releasing Part One, I heard from so many of you, sharing your heart and your thoughts on shame. Whether it was navigating a divorce, the way your body changes, how you care for your family, navigating your marriage or your reaction every time someone asks you about your dating life – shame has shaped a lot of us. But I think the sooner we can learn the warning signs, the repercussions of giving this negative emotion room in our lives, the sooner we can learn how to grow forward instead of being trapped by falling backward. My friend, Connie, is a counselor who not only walks alongside her clients through the damage done when shame enters the picture, but she’s also seen what it can do in her own life. Our conversation around how to recognize the emotion and restore some healthy rhythms as we walk through it was so good for me, and I think you’ll feel the same way.
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Shame has shaped chunks of who I am personally. I think you’ve probably felt it, too. Maybe it’s kept you from looking in the mirror. From walking into a particular building. It could be you can’t find a close connection because you feel the need to keep a piece of you hidden. Or you fear applying for a job because of questions asked.
What do you do with not only the shame you feel, but the shame you give? How do we start changing these patterns? Doing something about the sharp scissors of judgement cutting their way through our everyday?
This week is simply a set up to get your wheels turning, to get the conversation started internally and externally. How has shame shaped you? How is it shaping you? Are you using it, inadvertently or not, to shape something or someone around you? These are important questions to ask yourself. I hope this episode helps you take a step toward answering them.
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In the exhaustion of feeling like it’s all too big to even try to make a difference, while we’re being targeted with more information than we know what to do with and our hearts and brains are honestly just tired - Sarah and Beth occupy a corner of the internet that, in so many ways, makes you feel able. More specifically - capable - of making a difference. I’m calling this our palette cleanser - our reset button in all the chaos.
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Making sure we’re all in the know is what led to the creation of our Did Anyone Tell You episodes. Our friends, Kaley and Khari, roll in about once a month to equip us with all we need to make small talk with whoever we find ourselves trapped with for an undesired amount of time.
We’re equipping you with conversation starters, or maybe enders because who really wants to talk about the Emmys? It was weird, okay, and I felt like it was worth talking about.
If there’s anything we learned from this episode, it’s that I don’t know the names of celebrities and I can’t name where states are with any accuracy, Kaley’s 2020 mantra has become “do we really care about that?” and Khari is cheap...which honestly is old news at this point. The bad news is, our batteries ran out right when we began the discussion around if Beyonce is under or overrated...which is just the dangers of the job, I suppose. Anyway, we did a lot of ranking of what is under/overrated and we want to know what you think about any given topic so let your voice be heard by tagging us or messaging us @notmpodcast on Instagram.
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If you ever wondered how our marriage works - this is a pretty accurate picture. Ryan talks through the more complicated side of all things home buying/selling, while I just offer advice on how to pick a house based on how it feels. Yeah, I said it. The house has to feel right.
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“This is just for now, things will slow down.” -Me, Callie Holland
That’s a direct quote I say to my husband every two months or so when he tells me we have too much going on. It’s a pattern. Every time I do the work to take something away, I add something in. My pastor actually just said it this way, “If you’re going to add, you have to subtract.”
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I do not like the name of this episode. I don’t like even considering this concept. As a fully-realized two on the enneagram – the thought of someone CHOOSING not to like me…well, now, I just convince myself I can surely change that. But, the reality of life is there are times you’ll run into people, beginning all the way back in elementary school, who just simply don’t like you. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes for a season or sometimes just because. And then there are people who won’t be good for you. Relationships that you allow – yeah, you heard me, I said you ALLOW – in your life that actually make you worse. Or push you to be someone you don’t like. I didn’t know what a toxic relationship was until I started learning who I was created to be. I get it, you don’t always allow these relationships – at times you’re stuck in them whether it’s at your job or in school. You can’t always hide from them, so how do you learn to function within them? How do you protect yourself? A few weeks ago my friend Sierra reached out to share her story about this exact topic. How do you keep yourself encouraged when it feels like people are against you? How do you not believe what they say about you or get tangled in what they think about you? As you come to learn with time, sometimes people just won’t like you and let me be the first to say…that’s okay. Actually, you’re probably better for it. Even if it’s painful. These are tough truths for me, but I love the openness and honesty of this conversation mixed with the actual fact that Sierra sounds like Miley Cyrus. That’s a win-win situation.
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Last week felt like the emotional equivalent of pulling on compression leggings while sweating. Is that not the worst? All it does is make you sweat more…it’s a vicious cycle. In the heart of a season full of transitions, I knew some time spent looking back on life with NOTM regular, Brooke, and answering questions based on past experiences would simply remind us that we’re able to handle more than we think. We invited you all to send in your questions and we categorized them with surprising ease because they all centered around a few things: body image/fitness, honeymoon nights/marriage, pregnancy/childbirth and personal growth. These are almost all transitional seasons, things that require us to change whether we’re ready or not. So, if we can help prepare you – well – that’s exactly what we’ll do. Journaling Bible
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If the motherhood side of life isn't your cup of tea just yet - go ahead and skip to around 33 minutes in for all of the make-up/skincare talk! This is maybe one of my biggest areas of flat out no one told me and I blame my mother for this hole in my life. But she made up for it by plucking my eyebrows for me in high school. Life has a way of balancing out doesn’t it? But, what I can do is find people who know more about topics than I do and let them lead us in their ways. So, we find ourselves with my friend, and soon to be yours, make-up artist, Emily Odom. We talk about starting a business, juggling said business with motherhood and then we spend far longer than I thought was possible on a podcast talking about all the tips for what to buy and the tricks for making it work for you when it comes to make-up and skincare. And Emily is giving us a surprise at the end, so make sure to stick around!
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Creating healthy boundaries with yourself - whether it’s while using an app, in relationships or in everyday life - is essential to knowing the value you carry. You’ll hear some pretty great insight from our friends, Rachel and Caitlin, who have been digging their way through the profiles online dating has to offer for a little while now and have learned a thing or two - or seven. How do you build a profile that hits right? What are the red flags to avoid in your own profile and in the profiles of others? When do you know it’s okay to meet? How do you stay safe? And, sprinkled throughout it all - we’ll hear the good stuff...and by good stuff I mean the terrible dates they had to sit through, obviously. Getting to hear from two successful, healthy, ridiculously fun women and their approach to this world I don’t understand - well, it’s a ride.
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Today's guest is a semi-old friend (is seven years considered old? no? kind of?) who allowed me to walk through some seasons that leave you unsure about yourself and about what's next. Leah found herself in an unhealthy cycle of relationships, struggling against what she knew she should do and the ability to actually do it. We take a pretty hard look at some topics we Southerners struggle to voice. If you've ever struggled to figure out who you are outside of a relationship, to completely re-make your mindset or allowed someone else to put a value on you - this episode is for you.
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We’re starting with this surprise episode - a summer recap Did Anyone Tell You, which is just an installment we do every now and then to equip you with information that only proves useful to fill in the uncomfortable silences of a Zoom call or prove to those younger than you that you are still cool even though you’ve really gotten into the art of crochet lately. Okay, that’s me. I’m talking about me. Two of my favorite people, Kaley and Khari, are here to talk about what’s worth watching on one of your 40 streaming platforms, Taylor Swift’s absurd abilities to turn out an album in secret and, my personal favorite, that I probably took too far - Hamilton. I GET IT THAT WAS LIKE A MONTH AGO, BUT I’M STILL LISTENING TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND I NEEDED TO KNOW MORE.
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The last episode of season two developed about six months ago when I was laying in the middle of the living room floor crying while my kids napped. What I thought would happen...didn’t. What I wanted to happen...didn’t. And I wasn’t sure what forward looked like. My battle to get to the other side was just beginning. You will face a season you didn’t see coming, a time you want to just skip past - what will you do? What did you do? Let’s talk about it.
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This episode is a story. A story of a lot of pain, loss, uncertainty. And I think it will speak most to what no one tells us about loss as a mom. My friend Melanie speaks with such painful honesty - I know many will relate. So, if you know someone who maybe wants to avoid Mother’s Day, or someone who has felt the loss that is a miscarriage or infertility - share this with them. Let this be how they know they're seen. Here's No One Told Me About Moms and Loss.
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A conversation about mental health while Staying At Home: What do you do when the world is swaying? There's no shame or guilt in admitting something's wrong. The way you feel right now will not be forever. Take this time to ask: What was I doing because I thought I had to but I really don't? ...And a whole lot more!
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Some of us are just a few weeks in and some are months into this at-home season. We though it was time for a check in. Many of you shared how you're doing and what your life looks like. And then myself and Brooke just go right into quarantine grocery staples, what's normal now and really, how much damage are we going to do to our kids in this season?
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Instead of releasing an episode specific to right now, the chaos of work life led me to pull from the reserves. And what I came out with was an interview with Phylicia Masonheimer. Even though it was recorded at the end of February, it’s almost eerie how relevant it is right now. So much of what we talked about matters even more now. Here’s my conversation with Phylicia Masonheimer.
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Who are we going to be on the other side of all of this? Everyone will have a different story to tell...but our perspective through it will probably help shape our perception after it. I found myself getting a little too lost in the news and stats of it all, so I decided this week, we'd all take a breath. Sit and talk a little bit with some of our No One Told Me favorites, Kaley and Khari. We'll talk about what we're learning about ourselves right now, who we think we'll be on the other side, the intense amount of content we're taking in - what's the best and what can we do without - and about how all of a sudden those neighbors who refused to make eye contact are walking themselves all the way down the driveway for a little chat while you're in the middle of your morning run. Let's just shoot the breeze together a little bit in Did Anyone Tell You: At Home Edition.
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So now what? What do we do with all the feelings and uncertainties? Let’s figure it out.
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Two of NOTM’s originals are back again today. We’ve had some incredible guests over the past few months, but it felt right to bring some NOTM family in to talk about the realities of life. What our 20's feel like vs our 30's aka listening to everyone’s opinion as fact vs learning to comb through what actually applies to you. Then we go into listener questions that, honestly, were just a good time. Here’s No One Told Me: Listener Questions.
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Today’s conversation is for anyone who tries hard to prove themselves, for anyone who wants to step toward what God has called them to, for anyone who leads or will lead in the future, for anyone who wants to empower those coming behind you. I hit record with the plan to prep her for the interview but our conversation started rolling immediately. Forget the get-to-know-you part, Gina started speaking encouragement into my heart from the moment the call started. And I think she’ll do the same for you. Here's No One Told Me With Gina McClain.
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My conversation with Erin Moon revolved around actively and intentionally making decisions. We talk about a hard season for her family that required continually trusting the decision they made, we talk boundaries with our screens and, most importantly, Erin talks about Lent. It's probably one of the most intentional seasons we can step into. Here's No One Told Me With Erin Moon.
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Before they moved away, I made a point to sit down and tell this couple the influence they had on my life simply because I was in close proximity to them so regularly. A big part of how I view marriage came from spending time in the home of Mr. David and Mrs. Cheri. Listen...is it weird that I’m grown and still referring to them by a title and their first name? Absolutely. But I can’t shake it. It’s a southern thing and it honestly feels absurd to be on a first name basis with them, so I just need you to accept it. Here’s No One Told Me What Over Thirty Years Of Marriage Teaches You.
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We are influencing everyone who engages with us. For good or for bad. Over the next few weeks, you’ll hear from some of the couples who influenced me the most. Who taught me, without really meaning to, what healthy relationships look like. These are people I admire and love. And I think you will, too. First, is a couple who has taught me what generosity and thoughtfulness practically look like. I learned the art of finding middle ground and choosing to keep giving more in seasons you don’t really feel like it. This all came from my friends Jimmy and Amanda. Here’s No One Told Me Love Means Giving Without Expectations.
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The only way to kick off a month of relationships is handing over the mic to my husband Ryan for an episode highlighting the ups and downs of long-distance, if you know you know, and what we wish someone would’ve told us about the married life. Here is No One Told Me I'd Marry Best Friend.
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I sit before you three TWO HOUR episodes in and I still fully don’t get The Bachelor. I had to dive deeper into the backstory of it all. How are they really making this work? What are the facts that no one is thinking about when they watch this...whatever this is? Which leads me to my next topic...healthy relationships. We’re talking about them all throughout the month of February with couples who played a part in shaping my view of relationships. We’ll start next Monday. But before we get there, let’s finish talking about the things you didn’t know you needed to know from this month. Other than The Bachelor, we talk about the royal family, new music, an update on Taylor Swift, something with space that I’m still not sure I needed to know and a few other things as Khari and Kaley are back again for Did Anyone Tell You.
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Courtney Cleveland hosts a podcast, All The Best Days, where she goes looking for the best day in every city. The goal here is learn how to take smaller bites out of travel. We’re not going for a week at a time; what if we traveled more but for less amounts of time? She highlights her favorite cities for quick trips, the trips to take when you’re broke and the ones to take when you’re doin' alright. The ones to take kids, the ones to go on when you’re single and the ones for just marrieds. We talk potties in cars, loofas in the hands of other people and honestly an episode I thought would be hard to make entertaining took care of itself. Here’s one of my all time favorites, No One Told Me with Courtney Cleveland from All The Best Days.
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I like the word yes way more than I like the word no. Saying no makes my stomach turn and my mind jumps about 10 steps ahead, ending in believing whoever I've just said no to has ex-communicated me from their lives as a whole. The word "boundary" sounds so final, doesn't it? It sounds like a punishment. But I'm getting older - and while the retinol is doing its best to delay those effects physically - I'm comfortable with the effects of it emotionally and mentally. Age has given me perspective. So, as we get into the heart of January, I'm less about the specific and more about the whole. Less about building my life around a specific number and more about learning what builds my life. That's where this conversation with registered Marriage and Family Counselor, Connie Crossley, really comes into play. Boundaries are less about saying no to someone or something, and more about finding where I end and the other person, thing, situation begins. How do you create these boundaries? Better yet, how do you maintain them? How do you know if the relationship or situation needs a boundary set? This episode covers a lot. But it's all things I wish I'd known sooner. Here's No One Told Me The Art Of Setting Boundaries.
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Let’s take a look back at the year with our friends Khari and Kaley in our last Did Anyone Tell You of 2019.
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I don’t understand grief or loss. Pain that is triggered by a song, street, place as a memory you thought you’d stuffed down suddenly shoots to the front of your mind. I don’t think we’ll understand it in this life. But I know we’ll experience it. All of us. And something about the holidays stirs up those memories, subtlety forcing us to live what we just want to forget. I asked my friend Don Wilson to sit down with us again because this subject requires someone who has walked through it and directed others in it. Here’s No One Told Me Grief Is Healing.
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What lie are you believing? Do you know how to silence it? Do you know how to take Scripture and use it as a shield from the parts of the world aiming to devalue you? I love this conversation with Gretchen Saffles, creator of Well Watered Women. Here’s No One Told Me How To Stop Believing The Lies.
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The story of the holiday season: We scroll and see the best and we feel like the worst. So this year, I’m laying down some boundaries. Some standards we Hollands are going to live by. Hopefully. Until I see someone with a well-placed ‘Welcome Santa’ on their front porch and demand we turn our front yard into a poor man’s Dollywood. But, until then, these are the things I will and will not do this holiday season and I’m bringing the person you want along with you on any new venture - our friend Brooke. Here’s No One Told Me I Get To Decide What My Holidays Are Like.
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We've lost the art of small talk. Our phones have robbed us of the ability to make idle conversation. So, today, we’re going to help with that. Whether it’s storing up information to keep the conversation going at the Thanksgiving dinner table or just having something to talk about at the copier..these Did Anyone Tell You episodes are here to give you some entertainment and some information you didn’t know you wanted. Here’s the rundown on Dolly, the Christmas holidays and Disney+.
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Your burdens aren't yours alone to carry. Sometimes, we struggle to let loose of the control we're white knuckle gripping in our hands. But Jesus never wanted that for us. Here's No One Told Me I'm Not Alone.
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Some people forget to eat and some people plan every single meal down to the mashed cauliflower with cheese substitute sprinkled on top. I’ve fallen in both categories. Our relationship with food, good or bad, runs over into much of our lives. But what if we stopped looking at food with the mindset of good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. Maybe this topic doesn’t necessarily strike a chord with you but I would be willing to guarantee someone in your life struggles with their view of food and, in turn, their view of themselves. This mindset we’re talking about today changes all of that. Here’s No One Told Me I Can Change The Way I Think About Food.
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Have you ever felt like you should definitely do something, made a huge decision, threw yourself into uncertainty because you knew it was the right thing...and then nothing? It didn’t immediately work out. Whatever your expectations were became distant dreams but you still knew it was the right thing. For Michael and Heather, that’s what their journey into international adoption has been. Lots of hope, lots of disappointment, but a confidence along the way that made putting one foot in front of the other always the right thing to do. From closing adoption agencies, to slow paperwork, to months of waiting, this sweet couple has navigated a hard road because they knew their baby girl was waiting for them on the other side. Hear more in No One Told Me About International Adoption.
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When I get to record some episodes, I feel almost like I need to write down every word that’s said because I want to remember it. This is one of those episodes. My friend, Heather, put a voice to a lot of the lessons I’ve learned, but need to be reminded of - and a whole lot more that I need to learn. Here’s No One Told Me How To Step Into A Calling.
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Whether you’ve been to a wedding, have been in a wedding or you’re the reason the wedding is happening in the first place...this episode is the real deal when it comes to talking through the planning, the juggling and the real or imagined pressure you feel to dance to songs other than the Cupid Shuffle. We talked about it all in No One Told Me What Really Matters About Weddings.
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Making decisions only seems to get harder as we get older. The pressures change but the emotions linger...fear and doubt. They give a steady rhythm to our decision making process...or maybe it can be more accurately called our decision-stalling process. How I walk into these seasons of my life has been completely changed by the insight Pastor Don has been pouring into my life over the past year. I think you’ll feel the same after this episode.
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Do you really need to know everything in this episode? That’s debatable. It’s a chance to take a breath, realize there’s room in your day to remember some things you’ve tried to forget - like my “I’m becoming an adult haircut” from my first year out of college - and admit you actually do have strong opinions about what should and should not have the word pumpkin on it. Coming up are just few things to put in your “I don’t know what to say right now so here is some random information” pocket on Did Anyone Tell You?
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In today's episode, we're going to go another round on hormones. Hormones impact us physically and emotionally and in ways I think many of us don't even realize. You'll be surprised when you hear some of the causes of what we just deem as "crazy". Dr. Mariza Snyder is a hormone specialist with loads of information. This episode's goal is to give you a foundation in hormone health, to really learn why they matter, and more specifically, why they matter to your every day life. Here's No One Told Me My Hormones Are The Crazy Ones.
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My friend Lyndsey will be a mom for the first time late this fall and she has some questions. Those questions led to others she didn’t even know to ask. I pulled in my friend, Natalie, a trained labor/delivery nurse and mom of three. We’re just going to mom-splain a few things and pull back the curtain on this whole “I’m going to bring a human being into the world” thing. Here’s No One Told Me About Becoming A Mom.
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In our longest and hardest seasons, we forget about the seasons we’ve already walked through that were tough...but worth it. We think, all of a sudden, goodness has run out for us. We are no longer worthy of or willing to wait for the better. We settle in. Settling keeps us from great. It leaves us in the land of just okay. Last year, Caroline jumped on an episode about being Friend Zoned and all the ups and downs of living that single adult life. And here we sit, a year later, with a very different story to tell.
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Do you know how many children are waiting for homes in your city? The answer will surprise you. It surprised me. Foster care can feel intimidating, but my friend, Amy, and her daughter, Lexy, show us why a home matters.
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We don’t have to live overwhelmed lives. Our environments feed our hearts and minds more than we realize. The good news? We can actually control a lot of it. No one told me I don’t have to be overwhelmed.
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When we asked what topics to cover this summer, I was honestly surprised by the amount of people who asked about community. In high school and college, friendships generally come pretty easily, in the sense that you're continually around people in the same stage of life as you, mostly dealing with the same things you're dealing with. But then you get older and everything that was so easily lined up gets trickier. Your best friend gets married, and then your other friend gets married and before you know it you're literally a bridesmaid 27 times before you've even met anyone marriage material. Or you're married and you're the first of your married friends to have a baby and your world is now only consumed with tar-like diapers and counting up how many hours...or minutes...you'll get to sleep in a day. Or you aren't having kids but every time you get together with your friends, the topic always turns to what little Andy said during bath time last night and all you can contribute is how your cat was startled by a fern last night. Friends ebb and flow, but the craving for real, authentic friendship doesn't go away. I brought in an old friend of mine, Heather Zempel, and our conversation revolved around community. What keeps us from really experiencing it? And why the heck does it feel so weird at first? Heather has literally written the book on community...books actually. She's straight forward and asks questions that make you think bigger. Here's No One Told Me I Need Community.
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Here we are, spending too much money on our kid's lunch box so it has their name on it and trying to figure out if we actually have to buy everything on the teacher's supply list. If you're in college, you're trying to figure out if you really need the books for class, or if you should've read the assigned reading that, come on professors, you know we're not reading. To celebrate, or commiserate, back to school I've got my teacher friend, Kristin, and old faithful, Brooke, on our first episode of Season Two! I wonder how Brooke's going to feel about me calling her 'old faithful'. It's a compliment, really. We talk about our own back to school experiences through the years and what teachers really expect when they give you the title, Room Mom. It's so good to be back!
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Welcome to Season Two of No One Told Me!
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So, today, we’re taking it back to the very basics with one person who has helped shape me, my beloved Mrs. Jacque, who talks about how three years of intentional gratitude has changed her life. And another person joins us who is reminding me of the incredible seasons of growth you experience in your 20’s. My friend Sam shares about finding your people when you’ve never had to seek out community before. And I share a little about a topic no one really ever even hinted at...postpartum anxiety. Here’s No One Told Me...The Basics.
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On the majority of the episodes up to this point, I’ve had a vague notion of the subject. Nutrition, anxiety, mom-ing - I knew just enough to be a somewhat meaningful part of the conversation. But not now. You’ll hear the phrases “I didn’t even realize that” and “I have never thought of that” a lot of times. My friends Tom and Brooke walked a unique journey for years. They have taught me so much in the time I’ve known them. They’re genuine kindness, consistent thoughtfulness and unwavering faithfulness has been an example I have admired and followed. They walked a path few have to walk, but many can help contribute - if only someone told them how. Here’s No One Told Me I Would Need An Organ Donor.
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The process of buying a house, finding a place to live your life, that’s stressful enough. But then you get through that process and you’re left with a house. A big, ideally empty, house. Then what? There’s so much space! So many walls! What goes where?! Our house sat like a blank canvas for several months before I knew I wanted it to be more inviting, more comfortable and a place of rest. So, I called in the professionals, i.e. my friend Amanda, and gave her a budget and like a fairy from Pottery Barn she came in, worked her magic and one day when I got home from work I walked into a home. A place I loved to be because it so easily showed our heart. A place I was proud of. Amanda is here today, and my friend Emily, whose house is straight out of Home and Garden, to talk about the ups and downs of decorating in No One Told Me How To Make A House A Home.
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An episode that will make you relevant at the Mother's Day brunch or your cousin's graduation. Enjoy!
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This episode will go down as one of my favorites. It’s honest. And my goodness if I didn’t have a personal revelation about halfway through; t’s like you’re going to be sitting in on a therapy session. This is one of the most substantial conversations I’ve had about the power of the Enneagram to help navigate life. I pulled in the reason I even got interested in the Enneagram, Kaley is back with us, and then we pulled in the reason she got interested...Hannah. This is only the second time I’ve gotten to spend time with Hannah and honestly she is one of the most fun people to be around. And I walked away with more insight than my brain could really process. Here’s No One Told Me How The Enneagram Can Change Me.
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I have learned an insane amount about myself through the Enneagram. I’ve learned the why behind so much of how I respond, how I act, why my emotions get away from me. And based on the response to our last Enneagram episode, I think a lot of you are figuring yourselves out, too. Over the next two weeks, we’ll go further into the Enneagram - how it applies to our personal and professional lives. Today, we’re talking to my friend Jackie Brewster. She shoots straight. Like real straight. Jackie connects with people so quickly and both her and her husband are incredible at intentionally investing in others. She’s a certified Enneagram coach and she unloads so much about how this test plays into our relationships. Here’s No One Told Me The Enneagram Can Help Me.
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I knew I needed to do some No One Told Me About Dating...but I had no idea where to start. I think the last book I read about dating relationships was I Kissed Dating Goodbye and most of you would say goodbye to this podcast if I used that as my base. So, I started doing some research. I wanted to find someone who could speak on the topic with their feet planted firmly in a relationship with Jesus, but not really someone who says things like “it’ll all work out” and “there are plenty fish in the sea,” because sometimes you're just tired of fishing. Kait Warman started The Heart of Dating Podcast for this exact reason. I wanted a fresh perspective and some “Hey, I get it. I feel it. But, let me tell you what I’m doing about it.” A random email to Kait resulted in the interview you’re about to hear. And good golly do I appreciate this girl and all she’s doing. Apparently enough to say good golly. Geez. Here’s No One Told Me Dating Isn’t Like The Movies.
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If I'm honest, dating is a world I’m a little lost in. I have the most basic answers to the most complicated questions. I’ve brought in some people who can speak to it with a whole lot more wisdom than I can. Today, we’re hearing from Sarah Cain. She speaks with a whole lot of honesty and is so open about some of the hardest seasons of her life...like how she knew when to walk away from something that was really good because she knew God had something great. Here’s No One Told Me When To Walk Away.
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I can’t watch E! News every night and I miss half the headlines in the morning news because I’m trying to get pants on someone so we can leave the house. Since this is a podcast to make sure you’re informed on well, life, I think it’s time we start a new segment called Did Anyone Tell You? Once a month we’ll gather up some of our favorite things we’ve heard about and share them with you. We’ll at least feel relevant when someone asks if we’ve heard Britney Spears is bringing a musical to Broadway. We can say, “Yes, I have and let me tell you about it!” I don’t know if that’s something to be super proud about, but we cover lots of other topics, too, like Apple’s new venture, what Aunt Becky’s actual name is, is Full House’s dog, Comet, still alive and what did Taylor Swift learn before turning 30. My friends Khari and Kaley join me for our brand new segment, Did Anyone Tell You?
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Researchers are finding one of the biggest reasons we don’t exercise is because we feel like it’s all a big comparison game. We’re intimidated by going to the gym. We know comparison robs us of joy, but now, if we’re not careful, it’ll rob us of our health. I know that seems dramatic. But there’s a reason I prefer a dark cardio room when I run on a treadmill and if, Lord help us, I ever do Zumba, it needs to also happen in a very dark room. Or we bird box it and all wear blindfolds because I don’t need people seeing what moving with rhythm does to me. Today, we’re talking about fitness. We’re talking about what makes us want to take care of ourselves and what makes us avoid it. One of my favorite guests, Brooke, joins me as we dispel some myths associated with exercise and gives us some tips that have helped her over the years. And, finally, we launch one of our dreams. Right here. My heart starts racing thinking about it because I’m excited/nervous about it all. I’m so excited for you all to hear and be apart of No One Told Me Fitness Isn’t A Number.
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Purpose didn’t sound so intimidating until I started getting older. It felt more important. Bigger. Checking off a to do list was less satisfying because I didn’t know what those to do’s were really for. I didn’t know the why behind them. Pursuing your passion isn’t about getting it right or wrong. It’s about pursuing Jesus. And knowing any decisions coming out of that pursuit are full of grace. Here is No One Told Me How To Pursue Purpose.
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Retail therapy is a thing. A very real thing. But, there’s a difference in buying just to buy, and moving toward an attitude of intentional purchases - specifically where our clothes are involved. Today, I’m talking to the fashion director of a Nashville based, lifestyle brand focused on empowering women around the world. ABLE creates jobs for women who have overcome extraordinary circumstances while ending the cycle of charity dependency. Jordan Soderholm shares a little about what she does as ABLE’s Fashion Director and then we talk the do’s and maybe don’t do’s of style and fashion. Great tips that are easy to follow and hopefully mean less taking pictures in the mirror and asking my people if I can pull off overalls. Here’s No One Told Me What Dress Casual Actually Means. And don’t forget, ABLE is partnering with us with a special 20% off your purchase with promo code noonetoldme20!
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I kept getting questions about organizing a house. Spring is coming and we’re starting to look around and realize we have a bunch of stuff. Everywhere. And it needs a place to go other than random piles. I am very good at piling things. I should have a show called Piling Up because it takes real skill to stack the way I stack. Anyway, I couldn’t answer any of these questions about organizing. So, I turned to what we lovingly call in my household, Dr. Google. I found a company called Help You Dwell. I reached out to them and was able to set up an interview with Taryn, the company’s co-founder. Let me tell you...she’s the best. Really. You’ll find out why in this interview as we talk about how there’s no one right way to de-clutter, how our stories help build our home and how I do not have to cry every time I see a label maker.
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You know what’s hard? Transitions. You know what no one really tells you is hard? Transitions. Exciting, yes. But hard. What makes the biggest difference in how you navigate these transitions? Community. I met Julianne in college and have watched her walk through so many different seasons. I’ve seen her figure out that no one really has it all figured out. I’m excited for you to hear from her today in No One Told Me How To Move Through Life.
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This episode is based on all the conversations I’ve had with so many women ranging from high school all the way to retirement about the way we see ourselves. And, you know, it’s not just a woman thing. It’s a human thing. The majority of people have a skewed view of who they are. Most people don’t have a positive self-image, but then others have an extremely positive one. So where’s the balance? What’s it rooted in? Why does it seem to get worse as we get older? I don’t know. But I’m trying to figure it out. And, I kind of feel like we can figure it out together. Let’s talk about it today in No One Told Me How To Like Myself.
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Everybody has thoughts and feelings about Valentine's Day. More specifically, everybody has thoughts and feelings about everyone else's bad dates. And, as the saying goes, when you post it on social media you are thereby giving everyone the right to share their thoughts and feelings...or something like that. These are some of my favorite bonus episodes. Brooke, Whitney and I take the date stories you submitted and ask a lot of questions. Let's just say I am so thankful I am no longer a part of the dating world. Just so thankful.
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The first years of marriage are a lot of just figuring out the other person. How they fold their underwear, why they won’t load the dishwasher the right way and if I stare at your French fries long enough will you give me one. These are the big questions. But, as your rhythms sync up and your days somehow seem to get shorter and fuller - you change. And, unless you’re incredibly on top of things, you forget to take time to keep getting to know each other. Understand each other. You just let life sweep you along. I asked someone who has spoken a huge amount of wisdom into my life to jump on here with us today. He's honestly someone who many people turn to for insight and direction. And, really, this interview is in my top five favorites. I hope you love today’s podcast on love. Here’s No One Told Me How To Be A Spouse.
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Honestly, I feel like I’m getting this mom thing wrong more than I’m getting it right. I feel like there’s an unspoken set of expectations that linger out there that everyone else knows how to reach but I don’t. I feel like I’m not being the best for or doing the best for my kids and I’m scarring them for life with my decisions. And the more I talked about it, the more I learned it’s not just me. Whether it’s work or the day-to-day decisions we make for our Littles...we can’t escape this feeling. So I asked the best mom I know - my own of course - and my friends Natalie and her mom Rose to talk about the guilt so often connected to motherhood. This is No One Told About Mom Guilt.
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Makeup is not something I ever cared about. I mean I threw on some mascara when I wore pants that buttoned and counted that as dressing up. But then I was squarely in my mid-20s and knew I wanted to walk into work or even the grocery store and occasionally look like I had my life together even if that’s also an occasional occurrence. My friend Rachel is ridiculously knowledgeable on all things beauty. Seriously. She’s done a huge amount of research and has compared so many products. And she spills it all for us on No One Told Me How To Take Care Of My Face.
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Here’s the problem with expectations. We develop this mentality that we’ll exceed all of them. They become hard and fast rules. Not necessarily goals - they become facts. And then, when they go unmet, we face the emotional, spiritual and physical toll of what seems like failure. But that’s just not true. Expectations can change. They can be molded...but only if we hold them loosely. Many women expect getting pregnant to be a simple, easy thing. But as I got married, as my best friends got married, we all started approaching this next stage with this expectation of pregnancy. Morgan was my childhood best friend and continues to be one of my very best friends today. When she told me she and her husband had decided to start having kids, I was ecstatic. I knew she would be this incredible mother who would actually remember to pack her child’s juice for school and cook meals that include at least one vegetable every day. Months passed. And I never got a call with exciting news. Instead it was disappointment as Morgan came up with a negative sign - on every single pregnancy test. But how she faced this season, how she chose to respond to these unmet expectations is an encouragement to any woman facing infertility. This is No One Told Me How To Walk Through Infertility.
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Cancer. Even saying the word, hearing the word - it makes my stomach drop. But when it’s tied to someone you love - it’s hard not just to say or to hear, all of a sudden, you feel it. When that word comes into your life, it’s a permanent marker. The lens through which you see the world shifts. Places have new meaning. You hear songs differently. Every day moments don’t feel so every day anymore. I didn’t think of any of this. Honestly, I didn’t know any of this, until my friend Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer last summer. JENNY has invested in my life since I was a freshman in high school. She taught me unfiltered kindness, genuine openness, that it’s okay to not know where your keys are 80% of the time and more than anything else - she has taught me grace. How to give grace. How to receive it. How grace should be your default instead of your last resort. And, how, through the unexpected, through the fear, the worry, the pain - you take a posture of grace. A position molded by God’s faithfulness, goodness and His redemption. Jenny shares her story with us on No One Told Me Suffering Can Be Sweet.
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Alright, so really, how many times have you heard or read the word enneagram in the past six months? Whether you have a vague knowledge or you’ve researched all there is about your number - this particular episode is for you. I feel like “what’s your number?” is our generation’s replacement for “what’s your sign?”.
My friend Kaley isn’t necessarily an expert in the enneagram but she’s the reason I even heard about it to begin with. And I’ve seen what a huge tool it has been in self-discovery in her own life over the past year. I know I’m just personally scratching the surface of what I can learn from it. I’ve discovered an addiction to being needed, Kaley shares how the enneagram has changed how she views her world and how she hardcore doubted my number - we talk about it all on No One Told Me What The Enneagram Actually Means.
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As we prepped for this final show of 2018, there were lots of topics we thought we could cover. And interviews lined up to talk about them. But, something in me has been unsettled. Have you ever felt that? A restlessness? And here’s some real honesty...I’m just tired. This particular episode is short, mainly because of this weariness in my heart. And the emotions that started welling up. Sometimes, you just don’t need a lot of words simply because you can’t find them. Anyway, I hope you hear this and feel the hope it’s meant to bring. And I know the holidays make everyone feel something different - ranging from joy to dread. Wherever you are on this spectrum, I hope you feel some connection here. Because No One Told Me...About Weariness.
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Buying gifts is real hard. I didn’t realize how hard it was until I was old enough to actually start picking and buying gifts out for friends and family. So I got to thinking - how can I can make this easier this year? Option one is to send a family email out saying I’m making a donation in their name to Henley and Hagan's college fund. Option two is perhaps a nice coin counter that was $5 at Kohl’s on Black Friday. And then there’s option three which is...effort. I’m just going to have to try. But I want this effort to result in some excitement and maybe some sentimental tears from my mother. So, I called my friend Kayla. She’s a writer for BuzzFeed, which is where I learn all of the things that seem important but probs don’t matter that much. Her job is kind of a dream. She’s the queen of putting together gift guides, which we link to in the show notes, and it was good hearing what some of her favorite things are this year. Here’s No One Told Me How To Buy Gifts As An Adult.
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Growing up, I generally wasn’t an anxious person. I mean, I worried about who was going to ask me to prom and if my turtleneck gave me a double chin - but my life was never really altered by any of it. Until my mid-20s. Until my life started changing in big ways. Whether it was avoiding large groups of people because I didn’t want them to sense something was wrong. Or the times I would be so overcome with worry it was hard to fall asleep. It was varying degrees of just simply feeling overwhelmed with life. I’d be willing to bet many of you have felt this same thing. Maybe on different levels, probably about different things. My friend Connie is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has seen, and experienced, anxiety in so many different seasons of life. I hope you find some new insight in No One Told Me How Controlling Anxiety Can Be.
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When I graduated high school, I started thinking a little bit about what I ate. I started intentionally exercising. And, slowly, it became an obsession. The problem was, I was just going off what I read on social media and some unhealthy habits that would help me lose weight - but it wasn’t sustainable. No one ever taught me about food. All I knew was diets and restricted eating. My friend, Megan, is a registered dietician who dispels lots of myths we read about daily and partners with us in learning what it means to feed our bodies well. Take a listen to No One Told Me Food Is Our Friend...Just Not Our Best Friend.
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In this episode we talk about the best sides (#corncasseroleforlife), "special" family dynamics and some things you maybe shouldn't bring up when you're gathered around the table.
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I didn’t know anything about hormones. Honestly...nothing. I didn’t know they corresponded with menstrual cycles, eating habits, moods...everything. I was at a loss until I got married and went on birth control. And then, literally, my life changed. I share about that time in my life and learn so much, SO MUCH, from Dr. Edie Wadsworth concerning a woman’s health, hormones and overall well-being. This episode is full of so much information. Dr. Edie has an incredible story found in her memoir, All the Pretty Things, listed below, and also on her Lifeingrace website. But listen, you may not agree with everything you hear. And that’s okay. The main thing to take away from this particular episode is to study, research - find your answers. You’ll be better equipped to make decisions concerning your health and the health of your family. My hope is you finish this episode wanting to learn more and knowing facing all of these changes is done better with a team, a community. And, lastly, you might want a place to take notes because ol Dr. Edie is a wealth of information. Enjoy No One Told Me Hormones Aren’t Just For Puberty.
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Alright. We’re getting practical here. I’ve gotten lots of messages about grocery shopping. Personally, I kind of like it. There’s something kind of comforting, soothing even, about walking aisle by aisle. Of course that’s not actually a thing when a one and three year are yelling about getting another cookie from the bakery. We have to park at the lobsters for a little while to get everyone to simmer down. Anyway, there’s not a real rhyme or reason to my shopping. I’m just free wheeling it. And then there are others who hate it. Like really hate it. So this time around we have my friend Liz who’s got a system down and is ready to make us shopping pros and my friend Whitney who basically just cries every time she’s forced to the grocery store. We’ll talk about it all on No One Told Me My Mom Won’t Always Buy My Groceries. Show Links: Food City Aldi Kroger Clicklist Kroger App Publix Dessert Hummus Riced Cauliflower Papa John’s The Lazy Genius The Lazy Genius Meal Plan Chick-Fil-A Ibotta Crock Pot Liz’s Crock Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipe 2 chicken breasts can of corn can of black beans can of great northern beans can of rotel package of ranch mix package of taco seasoning large can of V-8 juice Cook chicken breasts on low for 3-4 hours. Shred chicken and add remaining ingredients. Cook on low for an additional two hours. Serve with shredded cheese, sour cream and tortilla chips. Liz’s Crock Pot Pork Loin Recipe 2 lb pork loin package of onion soup mix 1 lb bag of baby carrots and/or baby potatoes Sprinkle pork loin with soup mix. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. Add in veggies after 2 hours. Shred and use for pork tacos or BBQ baked potatoes.
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After lots of convincing...lots of convincing...my husband, Ryan is finally joining me for an episode! Honestly, we took on parenting blind. Like completely blind. We didn’t read a bunch of books or go to any seminars. We actually got kicked out of a birthing class. I mean who knew you actually had to sign up for those things? Be more clear, birthing people. All we went off of was what people told us. In this episode, we talked about the worst advice, how kids changed who we are and we even learned some new things about each other. For example, Ryan really needs to work harder to appreciate my hilarious jokes. I hope you love No One Told Me Parenting Is Super Hard.
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This special Halloween episode was honestly born out of sitting and talking about stories that make your skin crawl. You know the kind. The ones that make your heart rate pick up just a little bit - or actually your heart is lodged in your throat. And your stomach is rolling because just the idea of some of these stories is enough to make you grab your mace. Or wasp spray...that’ll make more sense after you listen to this episode. I gathered up three friends who have some stories of their own to share. And, I’ll warn you, one or two of the stories are just a tad…much. But we let it ride because, well, Halloween and all that. You’ll learn one very important thing in this episode...I’m scared of everything. Just all of the things. So, if you’re looking for just a little scare this Halloween, this bonus episode is for you.
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I thought I had forgotten what the Friend Zone was like. I haven’t. And it made me want to pull my shirt over my head and just take a minute to get myself together. My friend Caroline has a few of those stories. We shared our worst ones, but then we just honestly talked about those seasons of life where emotions run our lives. When our emotions make us do some...regrettable...things. I grew up with Caroline and good grief has she become a woman with a whole lot of wisdom. It doesn’t matter if the friend zone isn’t a threat to you anymore, this episode is worth a listen.
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Listen, there is no shortage of advice out there. Everybody has something to say about every something. Including me, apparently. But, just because everyone wants you to know something doesn’t mean it’s something you need to know. Listen carefully doesn’t just apply to the flight attendant’s pre-flight instructions. (As a nervous flyer, you better believe I’ve got pen and paper out every single time. I’m not going down like that.) You can’t always control who shares insight with you, I get it. But, in this episode, we’re going to talk about how you know if the advice you’re getting is advice you should be taking. Because, honestly, just because it’s offered doesn’t mean you should take it. No one told me not all advice is good advice.
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Whether you’re a first time mom calling the doctor because your little one’s left earlobe seems slightly smaller than the right one and on various Google search results, that’s a marker for the plague or you’re a 2nd, 3rd, 4th time mom (because if you’ve crossed the line to child number five, bless you and may the Lord be with you) who honestly is contemplating the pros and cons of asking that random lady you’ve seen walking the neighborhood a few times if she’ll keep your kids because good gravy you just NEED A MINUTE - either way you cut it...this mom thing is no joke. But, it’s within this what am I doing vs. this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done tug-of-war that we discover we may not be the world’s best mom, but we are the best mom in the world for our kids. Brooke joins me today to cover how to keep it together in the chaos of mom-ing, why alarm clocks matter and how often your kids really do make a liar out of you.
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When I got married, I was all about that ‘wifey’ vibe. I mean, I legitimately bought aprons to wear. APRONS. What even? I had great intentions of home cooked meals, fresh laundry, clean bathrooms and snuggling on the couch beneath the glow of Netflix. I created some pretty intense expectations. Did you catch that, “I created…”? And the pressure to deliver, whew, made me not really, um, the nicest person. In this episode, two of the funniest people I know got together with me to compare notes of what this married life is all about. We discovered getting engaged is hard, how we knew he was ‘the one’ and what we do to make sure our husband really is our best friend.
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I’m going to be real honest here...I was flying blind on this episode. I thought of myself as a pretty good matchmaker. No...I don’t have any examples. But, you know, it’s like buying gifts - it’s the thought that counts. Right? Um, apparently, no. My friends Rachel and Laura set me straight and then we go over the highs and lows of dating apps, the leagues we’re all in and the meantime of being single. It doesn’t really matter if you’re single or not - I think you’ll love this episode.
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No One Told Me is for all of those times you wished someone just a little ahead of you would tell you what they did in the same situation, in the same season of life.
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