The Divorced Woman's Guide Podcast: Recent Episodes
Wendy Sterling
What if your divorce was actually a gift? The Divorced Women’s Guide podcast aims to change the conversation around divorce, helping women (and men) start the new best chapter in their lives. After all, divorce can be more than a transition phase, it can be an empowering experience. And through the conversations on the podcast you’ll come away with a new perspective, so you can turn your divorce into the best gift you’ve ever been given.
This podcast is sponsored by Soberlink. To sign up and get $50 off your device, visit www.soberlink.com/wendy
Ever feel like you're stuck in a whirlwind of your own making like you're holding a constantly swirling snow globe?
It might be time to shift your lens. This episode delves into what it truly means to shift your perspective, gain clarity, and walk with purpose.
Tune in to this episode on Shifting Your Lens to Find Clarity and Purpose with Joree Rose
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Expectations vs. Reality: Life rarely unfolds the way we imagine. Discover the pitfalls of staying in the comfort zone and the freedom to break out.
✔️ Continuous Growth: The journey of mindfulness is a constant one. Recognize the significance of practicing every day, being aware of the present, and the strength in shifting your lens on life.
✔️ A Universal Message: Recognize that anyone can overcome self-doubt. The obstacles you face are not the end but merely challenges to overcome.
✔️ Compassion Over Judgement: Shift your perspective as you understand that compassion can counteract judgments. Know that being kind to oneself can be the remedy for the harsh critiques we often subject ourselves to.
✔️ Values & Boundaries: Connect the dots between your core values and the boundaries you set. Recognize how these elements provide a foundation for transformation and self-growth.
✔️ Law of Attraction: Learn how being clear on what you desire from the universe can dictate what you receive. Challenge the notion of "seeing is believing" and realize the importance of belief before evidence.
A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Joree Rose holds a Master's in Counseling Psychology and is channeling her profound dedication to mindfulness. As the founder and proud owner of the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center in Danville, CA, she aspires to establish it as the foremost hub for mindfulness-based therapy and an array of meditation classes and workshops.
Joree's mission is to disseminate her deep-rooted passion and knowledge about cultivating a mindful practice, aiding others in breaking free from detrimental habits to architect and live their ideal life.
Links:
Website: https://joreerose.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joreerose/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joreerose33/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/joreerose33?lang=en
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joree-rose-17766399/
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Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce can be a chaotic time. And while you’re rebuilding your life, you catch yourself being pulled at every side – friends asking for the exclusive scoop, seeing your ex get into a new relationship, or sulking in pity that you’re never going to be in love again.
Divorced Girl Smiling creator Jackie Pilossoph wants you to regain your focus and take control of what truly matters… without being so hard on yourself.
Isn’t it amazing that you get to create something new? Now’s the time to give yourself grace and make the most of your clean slate.
Tune in to this episode on Staying Empowered and Focused In Your Divorce with Jackie Pilossoph
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Schedule time to feel your emotions. The most upsetting news could break out while you’re in front of your loved ones. And while hiding your feelings is helpful. Not sparing time to express it at all can be detrimental. If crying at a later time is difficult, journaling is a discreet way to release.
✔️ Make room for goodness to crowd out the negativity. Instead of allowing your worries to take up your time and energy, take a deep breath and recalibrate your focus. Get busy and fill your mind with gratitude.
✔️ You have power over how you feel. Even without a significant other, you can be secure in yourself by doing the work on your self-worth and confidence and creating the life you want.
✔️ Fix yourself to be in the best position to meet new partners. It’s not the people or your location. It’s your mindset and how you show up on dates. Have you aligned yourself to your highest, most authentic self? This will help you to attract the right people.
✔️ Start small and do what makes you happy! Be open to new experiences, revisit old hobbies you’ve once enjoyed, and take baby steps. The universe will notice your hard work and your little actions will build into something bigger.
Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-in-chief of DIVORCED GIRL SMILING, a media company comprised of a website, podcast, mobile app, and professional resources. Divorced Girl Smiling (DGS) is a well-known marketing platform, brand, and global community. DGS has a mission to empower, connect, and inspire men and women before, during, and after divorce. Pilossoph, who holds a Master’s degree in Broadcast Journalism, is a former television news reporter and features reporter and writer for the Chicago Tribune. Her syndicated weekly column, LOVE ESSENTIALLY, was published in The Pioneer Press, The Chicago Tribune, and all Tribune Publishing editions for 6 1/2 years. Pilossoph was also a Huffington Post divorce blogger for five years.
Website: https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcedGirlSmiling/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorced_girl_smiling/
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/divorcedgirlJP
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-pilossoph-0851814/
Email: jpilossoph@gmail.com
Free Gift:
Free Ebook "Divorce: Day One to the rest of your happy, authentic life"
https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com/free-e-books-about-divorce-and-dating/
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Get Notified On Launch Day: https://thepowerinthepausepodcast.com/.
It’s been over seven years since my divorce. And what an exciting ride it has been, discovering it as a gift that enabled me to fully live my higher, authentic self.
You’ve been here with me, giving my energies into this podcast, to share my knowledge and experiences in navigating your own divorce. However, I’ve felt that the universe is now leading me into a new path.
In this final episode, expect practical pieces of advice about leaning into your intuition and what this new chapter of my life will look like – a whole new podcast that you can enjoy and be inspired by.
Tune in to this episode on The Power of Your Intuition
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Your intuition is the quiet voice – amplify it. While your ego is the loud, obnoxious one that’s trying to keep you safe, ultimately it’s keeping you stuck. Paying attention to my intuition has gifted me with the knowledge I have now.
✔️ The more you lean into your intuition, the more abundant your life can become. Fighting it only gave me lack and constriction – which is what I’m feeling now about where my divine purpose is headed.
✔️ Start designing your life based on your intuition. Tune in to my future podcast, The Power in the Pause, to open the doors of prosperity and your highest potential. When you listen and tune in, you’ll be led to where you’re meant to be.
✔️ The ultimate rebirth comes from the lens of forgiveness. Moving forward and no longer identifying from my divorce is my next journey. Self-forgiveness allows us to illuminate our pure heart light and to fully lean into our intuition.
✔️ Your intuition isn’t a tool kit. It’s something you already have. What you need is the space to feel and trust it so you can start living a life that’s amazing.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
This podcast is sponsored by Soberlink. To sign up and get $50 off your device, visit www.soberlink.com/wendy
If you could do anything right now, what would it be?
You may have been putting off that career change, that first date, or even that dream vacation because you’re too concerned about other people’s opinions and expectations.
Stacey Lauren is here to help you pursue what you really want to do. She introduces her antidote to inaction and the playful challenges she has been sharing on her podcast which got thousands of people moving and going after their vision for themselves.
Tune in to this episode on How To Let Go and Just Do The Thing You’ve Always Wanted with Stacey Lauren
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Practice the “I’m Game” formula. This acronym provides the steps so you can finally take action!
- Identify the why
- Mindset
- Goals
- Accountability
- My people
- Educate yourself and others
✔️ Get rid of mental clutter with this trick! Use your phone as a voice journal. Releasing it makes it easier to let go. And listening back to your recording, you’ll find some thoughts you’re holding aren’t really serving you.
✔️ You get to change that voice in your head. It’s okay to feel your emotions. Remember that the negative chatter isn’t you! Shift what it’s saying into something that benefits you.
✔️ Trust the process. Quit striving for perfection – there’s nothing wrong with messy action. Turn up the volume on your intuition. When you do something uncomfortable, there’s always growth on the other side.
✔️ Start with the little things. You don’t have to do something crazy! Whatever that new move is for you, do it. Try one thing you haven’t done before instead of choosing to sit down and stay in your comfort zone.
A true serial entrepreneur, Stacey Lauren has many titles, including CEO, founder, owner, podcaster, investor, and author. And she wears them all while embracing human-to-human connections.
While in college, an unlikely start selling books door-to-door instilled a solid work ethic and resilience skills in Stacey. These skills launched her on an upward trajectory to become a leader in sales, HR, customer service, and management.
She co-founded and scaled a successful staffing agency, building high-touch relationships to resolve the disconnect between employers and job seekers.
Her current labor of love is interviewing high-achieving, inspirational people for her Do The Thing podcast. Each awe-inspiring story reveals a formula that encourages listeners to go after what they want in life, set goals, and do the thing.
Links:
Website: https://dothethingpodcast.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/dothethingformula
Facebook: https://facebook.com/dothethingformula
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dothethingformula
Facebook Groups:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/dothethingchallenge/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1389213811610337/
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Settling a divorce isn’t the end of dealing with your ex-partner, especially when you have kids.
Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach Mikki Gardner guides parents like you to navigate the drama of co-parenting by being aligned with your values, setting boundaries, and focusing on what you can control.
Remember, you get to be the captain of your ship. You have the power to figure out what your co-parenting relationship looks like.
Tune in to this episode on How To Co-Parent With A New Partner In The Picture with Mikki Gardner
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Guide your kids through the co-parenting relationship. They quickly learn what they see, so be an example of integrity to them. It’s going to be hard, but they’ll benefit from you living a joy-filled, stress-free life.
✔️ Move from a place of self-awareness and “response-ability”. You have full control over outcomes by being mindful of your responses. Stay clear on your values, and only partake in conversations that align with them.
✔️ Allow everyone to have their own feelings and experiences. You don’t need to fix everything. Understand your place, and respect the rules of your co-parent’s household.
✔️ Be open to your ex’s new partner. Fighting against it will only hurt you. What matters is that they genuinely love and care for your ex and your kids. You are on the same team.
✔️ The person you divorced isn’t the same person today. People grow, learn, and change. Learn how to compartmentalize and focus on your life. They need to see you save yourself.
✔️ Show up the way you want to be treated. It’s easy to be passive-aggressive. But taking initiative is the best way to set the tone of what you want the co-parenting relationship to look like.
Mikki Gardner is a Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach, the host of Co-Parenting With Confidence Podcast, and a mom of 3 (her son and 2 bonus son)!
After learning how to navigate life post-divorce & using it as a catalyst for her own transformation, Mikki now helps moms move past the divorce drama to become calm, confident co-parents, even without their ex's participation.
Mikki is on a mission to help women navigate the emotional and practical difficulties of divorce and co-parenting while creating an intentional, joy + ease-filled life after divorce.
Free Gift:
Sign Up for Free Conscious Co-Parenting Masterclass: https://mikkigardner.com/masterclass/
Links:
Website: https://mikkigardner.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikkigardner/
Mikki’s Podcast “Co-Parenting With Confidence”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/co-parenting-with-confidence/id1591303883
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
This episode is sponsored by Soberlink
Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the most convenient, reliable, and reasonable way for a parent to provide evidence that they are not drinking during parenting time.
The system’s real-time alerts, facial recognition, and tamper detection ensure the integrity of each test, so you can be confident your kids are with a sober parent.
With Soberlink, judges rest assured that your child is safe, attorneys get court-admissible evidence of sobriety, and your kids are able to maintain healthy relationships with BOTH parents.
To sign up and get $50 off your device, visit www.soberlink.com/wendy
It’s funny how life sends us on paths we don’t intend. But where it takes us is always so amazing!
While my divorce and mom’s passing shook me to my core, it also pivoted me in directions I never thought I’d travel. It became a time of deeper self-discovery and developing my intuition.
Recently, I’ve also discovered my life’s purpose goes beyond divorce recovery. And today, I’ll share my thought process and how you too can apply this in thriving through your life transitions. Believe me – this wasn’t easy. But it definitely is doable.
Tune in to this episode on Life Transitions Are Stepping Stones
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Pivotal moments are uncomfortable for a reason. Like a caterpillar waiting in a cocoon to become a butterfly, life transitions are painful but true growth is waiting for us on the other side.
✔️ Reframe your perspective. Your divorce isn’t a sign of a failed marriage. It’s the universe telling you that you’re meant for so much more. This is your time to learn and become the best, most authentic version of yourself.
✔️ Reflect on what this transition means for you. What is it awakening you to? What is it preparing you for? Instead of feeling regret for the decisions you’ve made at that point, consider where this is taking you.
If you’re holding resistance from confronting this transition, ask yourself where is this stemming from. Because what I know to be true is that you’re on the path to a new you that you’ll fall in love with.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
When challenges arise, it’s so easy to default into doing what’s comfortable. But this autopilot setting keeps you stuck in the monotony of life.
What I know to be true is that this way of thinking isn’t serving you. You need to get off that hamster wheel to live to your full potential. But what it takes is having the courage to make uncomfortable decisions.
It’s indeed scary diving into the unknown. But you get to make that choice.
Tune in to this episode on Choosing Courage Over Discomfort
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Having courage changes your life trajectory. When you take the challenge of standing up for yourself, thinking differently, making new choices, and letting go of people’s opinions, your reality will align with what you want.
✔️ The universe opens up when we surrender. August was my self-care month – and the moment I set that intention, I have reaped more rewards than any other time in my life. It starts when you resist the urge to fall into the old mindset of scarcity.
✔️ Courageous steps don’t have to be huge. It can be as simple as making a friend, seeking help from your community, or getting a mentor to help you unpack your resistance.
✔️ Change happens once you let go of what doesn’t serve you. The longer you hold on to limiting beliefs, the more you’re blocking yourself from what the universe is trying to bring to you.
I invite you to commit to choosing discomfort. Be present with everything that comes your way so you can make the most out of it.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealwendysterling/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
As parents, we often have gut feelings when something just isn’t right.
This can be especially true in co-parenting arrangements where one parent is struggling with addiction.
If you’re co-parenting with an ex-spouse who abuses alcohol, Soberlink can help.
Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the most convenient, reliable, and reasonable way for a parent to provide evidence that they are not drinking during parenting time.
The system’s real-time alerts, facial recognition, and tamper detection ensure the integrity of each test, so you can be confident your kids are with a sober parent.
With Soberlink, judges rest assured that your child is safe, attorneys get court-admissible evidence of sobriety, and your kids are able to maintain healthy relationships with BOTH parents.
**To sign up and get $50 off your device, visit www.soberlink.com/wendy
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Tune in to the full episode on Spiritual Awakening After Trauma:
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Surrender and trust in the universe. My children were worried about losing their important stuff for school. I assured them and released my worries to my spirit guides. And amazingly, my hopes were answered!
✔️ Transitioning through loss is hard. Give yourself time to feel the waves of emotions while making use of the tools to ground yourself in the moment. Anchor yourself in gratitude, and don’t forget to thank the universe for where you are.
✔️ Focus on the important things in life. After that traumatic event, I realized what outfits you bring or getting that perfect vacation picture doesn’t really matter. Being with my family, alive and well, is my priority.
✔️ Be the source of light in the chaos. This was mostly my role as the natural disaster unfolded. All it took was for me to pause, breathe, and be that positive energy that fuels my kids and everyone around me to move forward.
One of the biggest problems divorced women face is handling their finances. After so many life-changing decisions post-divorce, how can you take charge and no longer run away from your money situation?
Financial advisor Kalee Boisvert is an amazing example and resource for women who wish to gain back control of their finances. She wants you to make money your thing and actually enjoy making it work for you!
Tune in to this episode on How To Take Control of Your Finances with Kalee Boisvert
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Shift into an empowering money mindset. Write down all your limiting beliefs about money and read them out loud. They sound ridiculous, right? Now, you get to pivot and rewrite your attitude toward finances.
✔️ Detach money from your identity. Your worth isn’t based on how much money you have. And you don’t have to be “perfect” to attract prosperity. Welcome the energy and keep a positive outlook on what’s out there for you.
✔️ Know exactly where you are. How much are your monthly and yearly earnings? How about your monthly spending? What are your assets and liabilities? List them all so you know where you can start in your saving goals.
✔️ Make your money work for you. Dip your toes into investments and let your money grow. Don’t let it just collect dust in your bank account. You want your wealth to increase passively – even when you’re asleep!
✔️ Be clear on your goals. Want to go on that overseas vacation? Or eyeing a new car? Now that you know your starting point, you can determine how much you need to save in a certain period of time.
It’s important to remember that money is a tool! It can help us get to where we want to be if we use it wisely. Let go of the shame around your finances, and see abundance come your way.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
Kalee Boisvert has been in the financial industry for over 15 years, but her love of money started very young, growing up in a single-parent household. She chose to become a financial advisor to empower and support people to put an end to their money-related stress. To further her efforts supporting financial literacy, she has two books being released in 2023 – a children’s picture book called MoneyWise Mabel’s Bursting Bank, and a non-fiction book called Make Money Your Thing! Which aims to build confidence and empower people in their financial lives.
Links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaleeboisvert
Twitter: https://twitter.com/boisvertkalee
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaleeboisvert
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kaleeboisvertwealthandwellness/
Website: https://kaleeboisvert.com/
Email: kalee.boisvert@raymondjames.ca
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
One day, I had a moment where I was just so exhausted. So I was venting to my coach from a place of victimhood.
What I realized was that I was feeling this way because I hadn’t been taking care of myself. I’ve neglected my needs. I haven’t been nurturing myself to receive love and care.
If you are on a low-vibrational day, chances are that all you need is some self-care – to slow down and prioritize yourself. Doing this will open you up to the abundant life that you deserve.
Tune in to this episode on How Self-Care Creates Abundance After Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ You have the power to shift your energy anytime. You can allow yourself to lean into what you’ve been ignoring. Faking it will only waste more energy and attract things that you don’t want.
✔️ This month is dedicated to your self-care. Set the intention that you’ll be loving and caring for yourself. Every decision you make should serve you and fill your cup.
✔️ Allow yourself to feel the icky stuff. When you acknowledge these feelings, you will have to get to the other side eventually. Listen to these emotions and thoughts and consider where could they be coming from.
✔️ Carve out time for self-care. Nobody else will do it for you. It doesn’t matter if it’s an hour or 15 minutes. You get to make yourself a priority and do activities that nourish you.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Your divorce may be the end of a chapter, but it’s also the start of a new one.
And I’m here to tell you that NOW is the best time to rebuild your life – a life that is for you, that aligns with your values, and that brings you joy.
You no longer have to be consumed by responsibilities and obligations. Instead, you get to balance your life by making yourself a priority.
What is important is that each and every one of you lives life authentically and embraces the moment with an open heart.
Tune in to this episode on Building a Life for YOU After Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Release the past. It no longer defines you. It’s time to start living in the now. Don’t allow your past and fears of the future to make decisions. Let go of the stress and anxiety that come with them.
✔️ Practice mindfulness. Being in the now enables you to fully express joy and create a stronger foundation for yourself as you move forward in life. Stop multitasking and put away all distractions.
✔️ Putting yourself first doesn’t make you selfish. Set boundaries and learn to say no. When you take care of yourself, you are a better version of yourself to everyone in your life.
✔️ Self-care is about nourishing your mind, body, and soul. Pick up the hobbies you’ve forgotten after your marriage. Learn as much as you can. Finding a wholesome activity is like gifting yourself with additional therapy.
✔️ Surround yourself with positive influences. How are the people around you impacting your well-being? Keep the ones that inspire and uplift you. You don’t deserve to be stuck in negativity because of others.
✔️ Have grace with yourself. Being aware of your thoughts and habits that don’t serve you without judgment will improve your overall well-being and build resilience.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
“I want a divorce.” I had no idea about the impact of these four words until I actually went through it.
Now that I’ve successfully gotten to the other side, building a life for myself and my kids, I’m here to be your voice of hindsight.
There are so many things that we don’t know that happens once we ask for a divorce. And I want you to be able to navigate this process by having a clear picture of its implications and what you can do to get through it stronger and better.
Tune in to this episode on What I Wish I Knew Before Asking For A Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Stop carelessly throwing the word “divorce” around! The moment you say it could be the start of the dissolution of your marriage and impact you financially. Don’t use it as a threat. Consult an expert or a support group if you’re planning it – some couples actually go back together when the situation is handled properly.
✔️ Know what your finances look like. Have a financial planner to help you. Get hold of your tax returns and ensure you have a clear view of credit cards, individual and joint accounts, and other assets.
✔️ Create the vision of the life you want after divorce. A coach can guide you in visualizing that future so you can make decisions from an objective lens. With this, you’ll clearly know what you’re willing to fight for and compromise.
✔️ Divorce isn’t just between you and your ex. It affects your kids too! Consider them in every choice of this journey. You want to set up a future where you can be a good parent and nurture them in this challenging process.
✔️ Speak kinder to yourself. Quiet the negative self-talk. Constant self-judgment keeps you emotional and steers you away from your vision. This is why a coach is so important to help you correct your language.
If you’re somebody who’s in the middle of a divorce, don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You need to have somebody who’s been on this path to guide you in moving through the waves much more quickly.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
#divorce #divorcerecovery #healing
Adjusting to a blended family can get complicated. But what I know to be true is that love can be fostered and resilience can be created within the family unit.
Let’s dive into the intricacies of blended families, the hurdles and rewards of this new dynamic, and my practical advice on how you can navigate your path. And I assure you, it is possible for every blended family to thrive and be harmonious with effective co-parenting and creating new traditions.
Tune in to this episode on Challenges & Rewards of Blended Families After Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Foster communication among both adults and kids. Creating extra space for new family members and recognizing each other’s roles can get challenging. But talking it out always helps.
✔️ Balance respect and openness. Teach your kids to treat their step-parent as any authority figure, and vice versa. Practice compassion in listening and understanding their emotions during this transition period. Assure them their feelings matter and nobody gets replaced.
✔️ Love gets to expand. Assure your kids that there’s nothing wrong with loving their step-parents and step-siblings. It may be hard to accept this at first, but it’s important for your kids to have positive relationships.
✔️ Blended families create new connections and lessons. Now you and your kids have a bigger support network as you build your resiliency and empathy. This also means more memories and shared experiences with more people.
✔️ Blended families provide endless resources for your kids. There’s always more to give your kids! Having more people with knowledge and experience that surrounds them encourages them to try more things.
✔️ Blended families strengthen bonds. It isn’t easy to get in the swing of things, but the idea that you’ll get to do so many things together is exciting!
This dynamic requires so much patience and willingness to adapt. But once you get past the challenges, the rewards will start to outweigh them – making the whole journey completely worth it.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Your divorce is serious business. Sounds overwhelming, but it’s exactly why taking the lead to ensure the best outcomes should be your priority.
Divorce and Decision Coach Karen Covy guides and empowers women to be the CEO of their divorces, helping them make better decisions aligned with the future they want to prevent bigger messes in relationships and finances.
It’s not about being in competition with your ex. It’s finally owning the situation, putting your hands on the wheel, and steering the journey toward what matters most to you.
Tune in to this episode on Why You Need to be the CEO of Your Divorce with Karen Covy
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Stop telling yourself you can’t! Take a breath, and do what you gotta do to deal with your emotions to avoid making rash choices.
✔️ Get support. And it doesn’t have to be friends and family. Coaches, therapists, and groups provide different kinds of encouragement and helpful insight that you can use to keep pushing through.
✔️ Know what you want and negotiate. You can’t focus on a vision if you don’t have one. What do you want your future to look like, in terms of your kids, finances, and relationship with yourself? Discuss this with your spouse and set firm boundaries.
✔️ You know your spouse better than your attorney. Listen to their advice, but in the end, every major move you make in this journey should be based on the wishes you’ve clearly stated.
✔️ Do the necessary inner work. This applies most especially if you’re dealing with a high-conflict, narcissistic ex-spouse. Give yourself the space and tools to think things through and avoid creating long-term messes. You deserve a thriving future and the peace of mind of a new life.
Karen Covy is a Divorce and Decision Coach, lawyer, mediator, speaker, and author. She coaches busy professionals and business owners who want to make clear, confident decisions during highly charged emotional situations. Karen also helps her clients become the CEO of their own divorce so they can navigate through their divorce with less conflict, less expense, and less damage to themselves and their children. Karen is the author of “When Happily Ever AfterEnds: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially and Legally”. She is also the creator of the online divorce program, The Divorce Roadmap 2.0, and the host of the podcast Off the Fence.
💬 Get in touch with Karen Covy.
Website: https://karencovy.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KarenCovy
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/covy3498/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@karencovy95
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karencovy/
Take Karen’s quiz, “How Ready For Divorce Are You?”
👉🏼 https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5e16798fb6fed60014a30922
The Divorce Roadmap 2.0:
👉🏼 https://karencovy.com/divorce-road-map-3/
Off The Fence Podcast with Karen Covy:
👉🏼 https://karencovy.com/podcast/
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com.
One of the most significant challenges I faced after the divorce was living with uncertainty.
Having been with my ex-husband for 23 years, our family structure and daily routines were so predictable. Then, here I was, suddenly trying to pave a new road.
For sure, most of you have felt the same way. But what I know to be true is that you’re more resilient than you give yourself credit for.
Here are some of my empowering strategies to help you embrace the unknown and welcome your new life with grace and courage.
Tune in to this episode on How To Face Uncertainty in Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Embrace the present moment. The only time that truly exists is now. Have a mindfulness practice like breathwork and meditation. Shifting your focus to the now brings clarity and peace because you’re grasping something certain.
✔️ Cultivate self-compassion. Extend yourself the same kindness you give others. Acknowledge the emotions coming up for you and name these feelings without judgment. Treat yourself like you’re your own best friend!
✔️ See your divorce as an opportunity for self-growth. Now’s the time to invest in your personal development! Rekindle the parts of yourself that you’ve sacrificed to accommodate your marriage. Give yourself the chance to step out of your comfort zone.
✔️ Adopt a neutral mindset. Life changes all the time. Stop categorizing what happens to you as “good” or “bad”. This allows you to easily adapt to any situation and slowly shed the controller mindset. The unexpected can happen in the best possible way.
✔️ Have a community of people to support you. Not friends, not family – but others who have experienced similar journeys. You must have a safe space where you can gain insights and feel encouraged.
Living with uncertainty after divorce requires patience. If you implement any of these strategies, I know that you’ll be able to navigate your life with a sense of confidence, stability, assurance, and faith.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The biggest move you could ever make after your divorce (or even in the middle of it!) is aligning with your heart.
This ultimately means getting out of your head and not listening to your ego. The negative inner voice is what’s keeping you stuck in resentment and blocking you from a brighter, more abundant future.
What I want for you is to get out of that unhealthy place and incorporate these new habits so you can finally step into your heart center and live a life of love and light.
Tune in to this episode on Top Moves To Make After Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Do a spiritual practice consistently. Whether it’s meditating, journaling, reading scripture, or walking in nature, it has to be done regularly. Transformation is a 24/7 choice. But this doesn’t come automatically. As humans, we must choose to show up every day and do what we need to do.
✔️ Fight ego with discomfort. Doing something new requires the strength to intentionally do things differently. Go against auto-pilot mode because whenever you’re stretching yourself, that’s where you’ll find growth on the other side.
✔️ Push through the resistance. Do it even if you don’t want to! It’s so much easier to wallow in resentment, but combating the easy way out aligns us with our hearts. Check back in with yourself and ensure you’re within integrity as you go work your way through this divorce.
I invite you to challenge your ego daily and ask yourself if you’re speaking in your authentic voice. Have the courage and faith to overcome the challenges of your divorce by listening to your inner truth. This will catapult you into the life you desire.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
A life-changing event like a divorce can bring anger and resentment within us. But sometimes, we don’t know what to do with these feelings. You might sweep them under the rug or find yourself expressing them in unhealthy ways.
Verbally saying “I’ve let it go” isn’t exactly true if these 10 signs are still happening to you. The good news, though: When you choose to move forward, you CAN get through this!
Tune in to this episode on 10 Signs You're Still Stuck In Anger
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Do you still have lingering resentment? Check-in with yourself if you’re carrying this heaviness inside you.
✔️ Stop playing the blame game. I always say that pointing fingers at the other is like drinking poison and expecting the other to die.
✔️ Are you putting off your healing journey? The shortcut to getting to the other side is deeply feeling the emotions.
✔️ Struggling to let go keeps you stuck. Focusing on the bad times is only evidence of why your marriage fell apart. Shift and put your energy on the positive.
✔️ Getting triggered easily is also a sign. Our families and friends sometimes are the recipient of our outbursts. Do your best to be better.
✔️ Disengage with negative self-talk. Low self-confidence and self-esteem will only worsen your deep-seated anger.
✔️ Do you still have trust issues? Ensure that you’re healed and have a clean slate before getting into a new relationship.
✔️ Only you can push yourself forward. Wallowing in your sadness is therapeutic. But don’t stay there forever. No one will save you but YOU!
✔️ You no longer need to withdraw emotionally. You might still be afraid of people’s pestering questions about your divorce. Process your feelings first before getting out there.
✔️ Anger breeds stagnancy. Putting your energy into this negative emotion hinders you from pursuing the things that bring you joy.
Are you looking to find more strategies and tips for moving through your anger? Join my free online event, Rising Through The Ashes, on June 12!
👉🏼 https://thedivorcerehab.com/rising-from-the-ashes/?fbclid=IwAR1tXdP2eKm_cC10iKcNs_5HGmMLtSeoazY9jZqITbyjoenO7LY1FbObeCU
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Most of us throughout our lives have believed confidence is external.
We thought that once we get that high-paying job, lose 10 pounds, or get into that romantic relationship, that’s when we become confident.
But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Top speaker and best-selling author Nicole Kalil is here to uncover the truth about confidence, what it is, and how you can source and build it sustainably.
Tune in to this episode on The Role of Confidence In Divorce with Nicole Kalil
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Confidence is internal. Research has proven that women’s confidence fluctuates through the years, dropping in their teenage years and peaking in their fifties and sixties. Shift your mindset from “Why am I not confident?” to “Am I connected to my confidence?” It’s all in there living inside of you – you just have to uncover it yourself!
✔️ Quiet the head trash! We have a LOT of voices in our minds. The noisiest, self-deprecating one is your head trash, while the compassionate one is your inner knowing. Silence the former, and turn up the volume of the latter.
✔️ Rewrite your internal story. Build your confidence muscle by answering these questions.
- What are the facts?
- What am I making up about the facts?
- Is there a more productive, empowered way to see it?
- Where do I go from here?
✔️ Action builds confidence. The little steps DO count! If you want to be healthier, drinking more water could be the first way to go. And give yourself the grace to rest and trust yourself during the hard times.
✔️ Confidence is a choice you get to make. Other practical ways to strengthen your self-belief are to keep your commitments, set boundaries, and speak your truth.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Join The Divorce Rehab™ Facebook group!
👉🏼 https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
💬 Get in touch with Nicole Kalil.
Website: https://nicolekalil.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolekalil/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolemkalil
Get a copy of Nicole’s book, “Validation is For Parking”
👉 https://nicolekalil.com/book
Nicole Kalil’s passion for eliminating gender expectations and redefining “Woman’s Work” is both what keeps her up at night, and what gets her up in the morning. Well, that, and an abundant amount of coffee.
An in-demand speaker, leadership strategist, respected coach, and host of the “This Is Woman’s Work” Podcast, her stalker-like obsession with confidence sets her apart from the constant stream of experts telling us to BE confident. She actually tells how you build it and gives actionable tools – not just stories – to BECOME confident.
She has coached hundreds of women in business, which has given her insight as to what – structurally, systemically, and socially – is and isn’t serving women and leaders within an organization.
Maintaining some semblance of sanity in her different roles of wife, mother, and business owner successfully is an ongoing challenge… in whatever free time she has, she enjoys reading and wine guzzling, is an avid cheese enthusiast, a hotel snob, and a reluctant peloton rider.
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thedivorcerehab
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
It’s hard to create an abundant life when your thoughts are in scarcity mode.
I’m here to tell you that financial empowerment is all about mindset. When you make the conscious effort to shift your beliefs and thoughts into abundance, your entire life changes.
Now is the time to become a vessel of your desires and align yourself to the high vibration of wealth.
Tune in to this episode on 3 Ways To Create Financial Empowerment and Abundance After Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔ ️ Flip into the abundance script. Create new thoughts and feelings when making decisions. For example, that investment isn’t a waste of money but a chance to become a better version of yourself. Immerse your mind with how that feels. When you focus your consciousness in abundance, you bring it into your life.
✔️ Shift your view on how you value yourself. When you see your value, the world becomes your oyster. Stepping into the land of high vibration is your choice. Your value has nothing to do with your achievements. Instead, it’s how you show up in the world. Realize that you’re a co-creator and that your desires are already yours.
✔️ Be clear about your desires, and pay attention. Time is a man-made construct! What you want is already on its way to you, and it’ll show up at the right time and in the way you want it to be. Become a channel of abundance by opening yourself to the universe’s signs.
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: http://www.contactwendy.com.
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR Seeing your divorce through the lens of joy and forgiveness will take you to that abundant life you deserve.
I’m always working on giving you the most valuable information you need. And my past summits were intended to give you unique perspectives to get through this challenging part of your life. And with all the knowledge I’ve picked up, I realize that I want my program and this show to be calibrated to a frequency of forgiveness.
I hope that this episode gets you to a place of true healing rooted in your genuine heart.
Tune in to this episode on Moving On From Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Focus on the light. You must dive head-first to get to the other side. But this doesn’t mean dwelling in the darkness. Go through it while concentrating on the positives – the lessons and the brand-new life you’ll get to have.
✔️ Surrender to the power of the universe. Everything happens for a reason. And you don’t even notice that you’re in the midst of receiving a spiritual gift.
✔️ Heal your heart through the lens of love. Let go of polarities. Be neutral as you reflect on the past and feel your heart expand.
✔️ Forgiveness is spiritual awakening. It’s what catapulted me to true healing. We’re in this world to be open to change and be transformed. Your divorce is your ticket to up-leveling yourself.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce isn’t a punishment. It’s an opportunity for your rebirth.
I say this because of my own experience that has allowed me to start relearning everything. It sounds scary, but wallowing in a pity party won’t help you get there. It’s about making a conscious choice on what you truly want to do in your life.
The slate has been wiped clean. Now’s your chance to fill it with the things that bring you joy!
Tune in to this episode - Divorce is a Rebirth & Awakening
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Look for the light amidst the darkness. Yes, you made mistakes. But you can now forgive yourself and open your eyes to the light. That’s where the lessons are. That’s where love and gratitude are waiting for you.
✔️ Learn how to ask for help. Our negative inner voice can be loud – so have a trusted friend who is louder! They should be saturating your mind with encouragement and empowering you to believe in yourself. You don’t have to do it alone.
✔️ You’re stronger than you think. You can pick yourself off the floor and try again. You give yourself permission to live life on your terms. Listen to your intuition, and do what you feel like doing!
✔️ This is your chance at a spiritual awakening. You get to gift yourself a new life that you desire. No more feeling stuck about where your ex has left you with.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Comedian Andrea Rappaport knows what it's like going through life's biggest jokes — a love story turned toxic relationship and signing divorce plans that went wrong.
In this episode, the How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast host shares her journey going through the process with her two young boys making many painful mistakes and shedding light on how you can avoid them.
▶️ What To Do And Not To Do After Divorce with Andrea Rappaport
✔️ One of the biggest mistakes people make post-divorce is to stop going to therapy because they think it's over.
Andrea pleads those going through a rough patch never stop getting professional support pre and post-divorce. "One of the biggest things I recommend is keeping your butt in a therapist's chair. Keep talking. I have a personal therapist. I have a therapist who helps me with my children, who helps me navigate my kids' needs based on what they went through and all that stuff. And I have a therapist for my current relationship because I want to make sure that I'm not repeating behavior and traits that I picked up in past relationships."
✔️ A parenting agreement is a tough document to change.
Never miss out on having a professional help you through that step. Andrea says, "It's easy to make mistakes, especially if you are in a high-conflict divorce or where there's abuse of different types going on. There's a myriad of reasons why these mistakes get made in a parenting agreement. What are your child's needs at that point, and what is the best scenario for your kid? It is not an agreement for the parents. It's an agreement for the child, and I can't stress that enough."
✔️ Taking advice from friends and family can keep us stuck.
They try to take you out of your emotion because they're uncomfortable being in it with you. If you choose to do things independently, you will waste more time, even if you feel you are strong enough. Experts come in to guide you through the process and provide actionable steps that will get you back on your feet faster.
✔️ We will do things in our divorce that will hurt the kids and ourselves.
Yet, we must do it to make peace and end the chronic conflict. We teach our kids to make similar choices by not settling for less and support them well to become more empathetic and resilient adults.
Andrea Rappaport is a humorist and image consultant. Funny people are usually a result of something very unfunny, and Andrea is no exception. Known for her candor on her Instagram platform @theandrearappaport, Andrea shares the journey of her traumatic divorce and single mommy life with two young boys. She mixes plenty of humor, because laughter is her favorite form of cardio.
Professionally, Andrea provides goal-based consulting to individuals and businesses. She blends her 20+ years in the beauty and fashion industry with her expert communication skills from her 20+ years of acting training and 40+ years of therapy. Andrea's clients learn to speak effectively to their audience while showing themselves in the most authentic way. Her clients range from small businesses looking to rebrand to post-divorce individuals looking to get back on the dating scene.
A graduate of Chicago's Second City Conservatory, Andrea's wit has been featured on TODAY Parents, The Jam, The Tamron Hall Show, Windy City LIVE, and Great Day SA. Her story has been shared in Uploader Magazine and Voyage Chicago. Her hobbies include: keeping her boys alive, watching her own insta stories, and bragging about her VIP status at Marshall's/TJ Maxx/HomeGoods.
Check out Andrea's FREE GIFTS up on her website:
www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com.
And contact her on Instagram @theandrearappaport
@hownottosuckatdivorce
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
My journey of self-discovery was a process where I was able to truly understand who I was based on my experiences.
This meant letting go of comparison, intentionally living a meaningful and happier life, and choosing self-forgiveness.
These three things sealed my success in healing and ultimately, opened up my life to new possibilities. Only when I made that empowered choice to go through the journey that things started to change for me.
Tune in to this episode on My Journey of Self-Discovery After Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Mistakes aren’t a bad thing. It’s part of being human. But owning your mistakes and doing things differently moving forward is what matters.
✔️ Stop self-loathing. Don’t feed the guilt. It’s important to be able to face your flaws and admit them. This creates less resistance and more ease into flowing into that healed state that you want to be in.
✔️ Make amends with yourself, and take small steps to change. You did what was best for you during those difficult moments. Now, it’s time to take action. Have someone who can help you develop new coping mechanisms to avoid falling into old habits.
✔️ Forgiveness is the most freeing thing you can give to yourself. As you work on not doing the same mistakes again, empower yourself to make choices that feel good to YOU. That’s when abundance will start flowing into your life.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
The missing piece to achieving healing after your divorce is a spiritual awakening. And you have the power to uncover it yourself.
It may feel like nothing’s working out. But once you start paying attention to the universe and being receptive to what’s handed to you at the moment, your key to a more purposeful, abundant life could be waiting for you in the corner.
Tune in to this episode on Uncovering the Spiritual Gift of Divorce
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ The divorce recovery process happens in three stages.
- Being in the thick of it.
- Fully committing to rehabilitation.
- Finding your life purpose.
✔️ Focus on healing. You’ll get there. The universe will put on your path the tools and resources you need to clear your mind. Be receptive to what is around you. You could still be in the process of receiving your spiritual gift.
✔️ Opening your heart can transform your life. Going through Theta Healing allowed me to receive, forgive, and unlock the door to abundance.
✔️ Your divorce has led you to your spiritual growth. You’ll notice that everything will start to come together when you find out that every problem always has a spiritual solution.
✔️ In spiritual growth, problems become detours. Everything that happens for you is a chance to realign with your heart. As you’re operating at a higher vibration, you can now thrive in any circumstance that comes your way.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: contactwendy.com
Abundance isn’t just about money – it can also be applied to time.
I’m inviting you to surrender all your limiting beliefs and remember: What you think, you create. Step out of your comfort zone and embrace your power. You have the ability to shape the life you so badly desire once you apply these actionable tips to shift your mindset.
Tune in to this episode on Mindset Tips about Time to Create Abundance
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ When creating abundance, time doesn’t exist.
It has to do more with who you are being and what you’re thinking. These factors are what will transform your reality.
✔️ What is meant to be will come.
Co-creating with the universe means our desires manifest in ways we don’t expect. Let go of control. Stop thinking of immediate results. Allow the universe to deal with the “How”. Pay close attention to the signs.
✔️ Set your intentions.
As you go about your day, have a purpose for everything you’re doing. For example, I intend to inspire and motivate you with my work. And it has reflected in the abundant life I have today.
✔️ Regularly check in with your higher power.
Ensure that you’re aligned with the life you wish to create. Make use of the tools and resources to get you back in that aligned state when you feel like you’ve fallen out.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce is painful. And unknowingly, this pain we feel stirs up anger inside of us that is so difficult to let go of.
I’m here to tell you that holding on to this resentment won’t change your circumstances nor will it make you feel any better.
Let me share with you three ways you can finally release these emotions and open yourself up to a new life of joy.
Tune in to this episode: How to Stop Resenting Your Ex
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Acknowledge your emotions.
Step out of the victim mindset, own what happened and how you feel, and name that feeling. Being aware of its existence helps you move forward in dealing with it.
✔️ Express your anger.
You can do it in a healthy way, such as writing a letter or talking aloud in the car – as long as nobody hears you. What’s most important is releasing it.
✔️ Heal yourself.
Recovering from emotional hurt is no different from a physical injury. Nurture yourself, give yourself compassion, and pick up the lessons you need to move forward.
Get a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” on Amazon!
👉🏼 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BV9BXNWX
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast
For a woman from a household with two incomes or a wife relying on their former spouse as the breadwinner — going through a divorce can be downright horrifying. What happens when you think you are left with "nothing"?
Join me in this powerful episode with Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Lisa Zeiderman, who shares valuable nuggets to help you address your finances with less stress.
▶️ How to Navigate Complex Financial Issues and Find Empowerment Through Your Finances with Lisa Zeiderman.
✔️ As a matrimonial attorney, CFL, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Lisa Zeiderman shares her inspiring origin story of helping women and families go through a divorce. After getting into the fashion business at 18, she survived a divorce and custody case. "What most people find frustrating is a lack of responsiveness. I experienced the same with my attorneys. The client needs to feel we have their back. I decided then that I could be helpful to people. And so that's why I ended up going to law school."
✔️ There's so much emotion tied to divorce when divorce is a business transaction, yet we bring that emotional piece into it, especially regarding our finances. Lisa shares that women need to be reassured that they can go through the process less stressed. In consultations, two main issues must be addressed: custody of the children and finances.
✔️ Achieving a less complicated divorce process and a rewarding future requires setting reasonable expectations as early as possible. Divorce is hard, but you must be kinder to yourself and allow others to come in and give you the strong support you need.
✔️ No matter what the situation, divorce disputes are resolvable. People have to realize that it is a marathon and not a sprint. Lisa establishes that the lack of understanding makes divorce scary and way more stressful for many women. Her essential piece of advice: don't let that fear control YOU. Resources and services are available to help you start separating the emotion from the financial element of divorce.
✔️ Do not do divorce by yourself. You want reliable and credible people in your corner, explaining the law, the finances, and the psychological aspects of the divorce process. It would be best if you had a passionate and empathetic team who has your best intentions in their mind. Are you clamming up pursuing your legal separation, or are you ready to open the door for better resolution and positive outcomes?
Let us come to your rescue and make this divorce your life's most significant gift.
______________________________________________________________
Lisa Zeiderman is Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, based in New York. A matrimonial attorney, CFL and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, she regularly handles complex financial and custody divorce matters, as well as pre- and post-nuptial agreements.
Named to the Crain’s New York list of Notable Woman Attorneys for 2022, as well as a Crain’s New York Notable Diverse Lawyer for 2022, a Hudson Valley Best Lawyer in 2022, a 2021 Best Family Law Attorney for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys, among many other awards, Lisa is a founding member of the American Academy of Certified Financial Litigators and a member of the panel for Attorneys for Children. Lisa is also a member of the Forbes Business Council.
In addition to authoring a well-read blog on Psychology Today, “Legal Matters: Understanding Mental Health Issues as They Apply to Divorce and Child Custody,” Ms. Zeiderman is regularly published in Financial Advisor Magazine, the New York Law Journal, and by the Forbes Business Council. She is also interviewed on issues ranging from financial empowerment to tax issues to child custody in a host of media.
Ms. Zeiderman, a Fordham University of Law graduate, also serves as the Vice President of the Board of Savvy Ladies, Inc., and on the board of LIFT, Legal Information for Families Today.
Website links: https://lisazeiderman.com/ https://www.savvyladies.org/
IG: @lisazeiderman FB: @lisazeiderman ______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/ Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy Twitter: @thedivorcerehab Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2022-11
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast
Do you feel constantly stuck in lack, like everything could be taken away from you at any second? If so, you may suffer from a scarcity mindset. This harmful narrative leads you to believe that there are not enough resources available for you and that anything could vanish without warning.
Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — Shifting Your Mindset Out of Scarcity After Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Embracing an abundant mindset comes in many forms.
It's not solely financial but knowing that prosperity and overflow are possible in all areas of life. Having an abundance mindset means having faith that there is more than enough out there and knowing you have all the resources available to you.
✔️ You are not your failed marriage or your past.
Your history, whether a failed relationship or divorce, does not define you. Stop allowing it to damper what you are meant to be. You are nothing less than light, love, and pure joy!
✔️ Let me remind you today that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Every time wounds of the past become fresh with memories of abandonment, betrayal, and deep sadness, remember that you have released yourself from the people who did not bring out the best in you.
It may be hard to come to terms with what and who you have lost, but all that has come to be is to create a more meaningful and beautiful future.
#divorceadvice #divorcecoach #divorcehelp
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Do you want to know what your deepest divorce Super Power is? Of course you do! Take my brand new quiz and discover more about yourself and the super power you possess that will take you through divorce into your dream life. https://thedivorcerehab.com/quiz-start-site-podcast
Positive thinking has the power to transform your life, no matter what your current circumstances are.
Quantum physics tells us that we are all made up of energy. And energy carries a certain frequency or vibration. The more positive frequency we give off, the more we attract it.
This means that you have the power to control what happens in your life. You get to manifest positivity into your reality, even if you’re going through a divorce.
Tune in to this episode on Power of Positivity in Creating Abundance after Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Apply positive thinking in your life.
You can do this through visualization and gratitude. Be mindful of your thoughts and spin negative ones into ideas that serve you.
✔️ Positive thinking impacts your health and well-being.
It encourages us to take care of ourselves more, cope with stress better, and prevent ourselves from falling into a state of depression.
✔️ Drink from the half-full glass.
Instead of dwelling on the things frustrating you, focus on the good things you have now and what you can change.
✔️ Positive thinking builds resilience.
You know bad things just happen. And it’s not the universe that’s out to get you. You’re able to make the most of what’s happening in the present.
✔️ You can always start over.
Positivity allows you to wipe the slate clean, learn from your mistakes, and create something new.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
I struggled with forgiveness so much. In fact, it was the hardest part of my recovery process after my divorce.
And I know you are going through the same things, too. So today, I’ll be breaking down these struggles we experience as we get ourselves on the path to forgiveness.
I’ll also be sharing why it’s so important for you to forgive yourself so you can finally move forward into the new life you deserve.
Tune in to this episode: Why Forgiving Yourself is Crucial For Moving On
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Carrying guilt hinders us from forgiving ourselves. You may feel you’re half-responsible. But guilt just gets in the way of you seeing your true worth.
✔️ Self-blame only fosters more shame. My kids heard me kick their dad out. It was difficult to process that it wasn’t my fault. Trust me, you’ll get to the other side.
✔️ Break the cycle of negative self-talk. No wonder our self-esteem is in the toilet. You’re powerful enough to silence this pesky voice in your head.
✔️ Who cares what others think? You know yourself best. Being able to move on emotionally doesn’t make you the villain. Say no to self-judgment.
✔️ Release the pain. Resentment is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don’t allow yourself to rot. Choose to step into that world of forgiveness.
✔️ Move into your new life by practicing these:
- Self-love.
- Gratitude
- Self-compassion
✔️ You deserve to forgive yourself. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. What matters is what you choose to do moving forward.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
A miscarriage, a huge Christmas Day fight, and the decision to make a change.
Jen Riday was able to pivot and find her happiness as a married woman. Through her experience, she proves to us that if you’re feeling stuck, divorce isn’t always the answer. Maybe all you need is an intuitive hit and the mindfulness to create time for your self-care.
Tune in to this episode on Choosing Your Happiness in Marriage with Jen Riday
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ All you need is five minutes. Yoga is Jen Riday’s choice of grounding activity. If you’re scared of starting a new activity, remember that all good things are on the other side of fear. Your brain (and even your partner) will thank you for it.
✔️ Expand time. The more you believe you have time, the more it’s true. Cut out activities that don’t serve you. For Jen Riday, it’s social media and streaming, unless it’s with family.
✔️ Accept your partner’s differences. They don’t always have to enjoy the same things you do. But their presence and energy must transform you and allow you to live unapologetically YOU. Give each other the grace to let them be who they want to be.
✔️ How happy are you willing to let yourself feel? Your happiness is your responsibility, and you get to create it. Think of ways to make today great, and allow yourself to do it!
✔️ Happiness is the greatest gift you can give. If you can do the things that make you feel truly alive, it’s not a selfish act – it’s everything you need to share your vibrancy with the world.
Dr. Jen Riday is the founder of the Vibrant Happy Women movement, host of the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast, and mom of 6. She resides outside of Madison, Wisconsin. She helps burned-out moms slow down and start taking care of themselves so they can get their sparkle back.
Website: https://www.jenriday.com/about/
Facebook: Jen Riday
Instagram: @jenriday
LinkedIn: Jen Riday
Twitter: @jenriday
YouTube: Jen Riday
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
This is a sign that it's time to make a change. Stop allowing the struggles and sorrows to steal more of your precious time. Acknowledge, feel, and release those difficult emotions, and you can finally leave them in the past where they belong.
Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — 3 Steps To Manage Your Emotions and Find Healthy Ways To Cope With Difficult Feelings.
✔️ Stop being so hard on yourself.
Here we are, beating ourselves up, often playing the Should Have game. Humans as we are, we never have the power to see how our marriages can fail, or we can end up getting divorced. When you speak like this to yourself, ask if you would ever talk that way to your child, a best friend, a family member, or a colleague. If you can be an encourager to others, why are you blaming when it comes to yourself?
✔️ Release the pain.
If the pain's still not going away, what you're doing isn't working. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm inviting you to do something different. Allow yourself to feel it, to name it. Because when you do, you heal and release it. You stop giving it power. You stop giving it your energy.
✔️ Be gentle with yourself.
Going through a separation and divorce spurs the hidden pains of your past. By showing love and compassion to your inner child, you connect with the part of you living with that wound for so long. Allow yourself to see that you did the best you could with the tools and wisdom you had at the time.
Know that this isn't who you always have to be. You have the power to shift, and you have the ability to change. 👑
#divorceadvice #divorcecoach #divorcehelp
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/ Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy Twitter: @thedivorcerehab Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2022-11
Order a copy of Divorce Sucks. Now What?: The 5 Steps to Find Yourself and Heal After Going From “I Do” to “I’m Divorced” https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Sucks-Now-What-Yourself/dp/B0BVCWTFTR
Setting up boundaries is incredibly important for having the co-parenting relationship work. Learning how to communicate with an ex to make decisions for the kids is a lifelong skill you will require to ensure you achieve the life you desire.
Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — Important Co-Parenting Boundaries You Need To Follow.
✔️ Refrain from badmouthing your co-parent.
As hard as it is, spurting negative things against our ex puts our children in the middle of our relationship with our co-parent, and that is not the place that our children want to be. What we need to do is put them in the center. That means keeping comments to yourself and separating your relationship with your co-parent from the ties they have with their dad or mom.
✔️ The communication that happens between our children and our co-parent is truly none of our business.
How often have you been tempted to pick up the phone, open a text message or make that call and intervene in the children's relationship with your co-parent, especially if you don't agree with what is happening?
Undermining this could be devastating and put your child in an uncomfortable and potentially damaging situation. Be supportive by listening to your child, creating a safe space, and encouraging a healthy environment.
✔️ Communicate with your co-parent in a businesslike manner.
👉🏻 Yes, you are in the 'business' of raising children.
When dealing with your co-parent, being businesslike means taking care of yourself, being thoughtful in your interactions, and choosing to respond instead of react.
✔️ Only communicate about your child.
Never make conversations a session where you are to personally attack him or vice versa. A lot of times, our co-parents try to manipulate us or to try to poke a nerve or to push a button that if we take the bait, then all of a sudden, it becomes about you and him instead of about your child. So remember to focus the conversation around your child; that is how you keep them in the center instead of putting them in the middle when it has to do with the two of you.
✔️ Communicate with your co-parent respectfully and disagree privately.
Even when you and your co-parent disagree, consciously hold back from the instant need to snap back and argue. It's not always easy, but it's certainly worth it! Co-parenting boundaries set you up for less stress and establish a positive environment for your kids.
Find success in co-parenting by establishing appropriate boundaries. Set yourself up for less stress and adapt these critical communication and decision-making abilities. Ensure that your kids feel as stable as possible and that you and your co-parent show you love them by making the best decisions with them in mind.
Access my CoParenting Apart full course here:
https://the-divorce-rehab-by-wendy-sterling.teachable.com/p/co-parenting-apart
#coparentingdoneright #coparentingapart #divorcedwomanguide
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
The way to unlock abundance in your finances and in every aspect of your life lies in one word: Forgiveness.
You may be wondering, “What does that have to do with money?”
You’ll be surprised to discover that letting go of resentment actually determines your ability to be wealthy, successful, and joyful after your divorce.
Tune in to this episode on Take Control Of Your Financial Future and Create Abundance.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Forgiving doesn’t mean letting the person off the hook. Holding on to bitterness blocks that flow of abundance because you had set limiting expectations on what you wanted your life to be like with them.
✔️ Forgiveness is all about YOU. It’s an empowering move! The frequency of forgiveness is a catalyst for you to fully heal and shift your alignment to what you truly want. It’s a decision that’s solely yours.
✔️ Forgiveness is an acronym. Letting go is as simple as this:
- Face it.
- Own it.
- Rectify it.
- Give yourself forgiveness.
- Ignite it.
- Vocalize and visualize what will come into your life.
- Embody your desires.
✔️ Look at what things in your life need forgiveness. Instead of making up stories about how you could’ve done things differently, why not write the NEW ones of you living your dream life?
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Money can be an overwhelming source of stress or anxiety before, during, and after divorce. While it can be difficult to confront $$$ issues, women going through divorce and debts can start recognizing that it is just a number. Taking that first step towards knowing that is something you should be proud of.
Our friend Britt Baker, the money management expert over at Dow Janes, recommends mindset shifts and a weekly money ritual to help you overcome the dread, take the burden off and make taking care of your finances a light and pleasant experience.
▶️ Tune in to the ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ɢᴜɪᴅᴇ show — How Taking Care of Your Finances Is a Practice in Love for Future You!
✔️ Creating that financial self-care practice is part of the healing process.
Taking care of your financial health should be just as much of a priority as taking care of your physical and mental health. Have the courage to get to grips with your numbers, and don't delay it any longer. Financial wellness is the new self-care.
✔️ Shine a light on your mental relationship with money.
If you could manifest whatever vision you have, no matter the cost, what would it be? Imagine working on a blank canvas and painting the big picture for your life. See and feel what can bring you true satisfaction in your relationships, career, and finances, and you will find it easier to take concrete steps in making them a reality. Clarity is an essential element of financial well-being.
✔️ What is your own story that you're going to write with money?
Our concept of money comes from the mindset that our families passed down consciously and subconsciously to us. Making better spending and saving habits and becoming a more reasonable financial decision-maker requires altering our attitude toward money.
Britt recommends creating a clear picture of what kind of person we want to be when it comes to money and why we want to possess it. We should strive to write our own narratives rather than blindly accepting ones written for us.
Britt Williams Baker is a Harvard Business School graduate, an expert investor with 10+ years of experience, and a money mindset coach.
She co-founded Dow Janes, to teach women+ how to take control of their finances with a step-by-step education and community of support.
Free Gift:
Free Guide to Creating a Weekly Money Ritual: https://try.dowjanes.com/ritual/
Connect with Britt:
Website link: www.dowjanes.com
Email: britt@dowjanes.com
Instagram: @dow.janes
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/williamsbritt/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thedowjanes/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/dowjanesfinance/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dowjanes
#divorcefinancialhelp #divorcefinancialplanning #financialclarity
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
Marriage is hard. Deciding on divorce is even harder.
We have this internal conflict about whether to make the move because the choice impacts more than just us. Some will choose to cling to the illusion that things can be fixed or will get better.
But not all marriages are salvageable. And the best thing to do is to choose what’s best for you.
Tune in to this episode on Steps to Determine Whether Divorce Is the Right Decision for You.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Your communication is broken. Before the ultimatum, take active steps to resolve the issue. Ask for help from experts if needed. If the other person seems disinterested, that’s your answer.
✔️ You feel a little suspicious about random acts of generosity. If your partner suddenly spoils you with over-the-top gifts, granted that they never did this before, this could be overcompensation for something they’re hiding.
✔️ Divorce is in your mind during arguments. Intimacy should be created after fights. But if the opposite happens and the other can’t allow space for your differences, that’s a red flag.
✔️ Past memories bring more joy than the present. If you feel your marriage was better back then, work together to create more memories. Step back and evaluate if your partner refuses to participate.
✔️ You enjoy spending more time apart than together. Your partner should be investing their time and energy with you. See your worth. You don’t have to settle for less.
Are you enjoying the show so far?
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or leave me a comment down below because this greatly helps in spreading my show to those who need it the most.
An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!
👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
Get VIP access to my upcoming book!
👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Where I’m at today is nowhere near close to where I used to be when I first discovered my 20-year marriage was over.
I went from having the rug pulled out of my life to creating this amazing present for myself, finding love, and building a six-figure business out of nothing.
It won’t be easy to get there, but I want you to see me as an example that it is possible for you, too.
Tune in to this episode on Rebuilding Your Life after Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Get out of your own way. Stop trying to learn everything by yourself. This isn’t the time to prove anything. Having hands-on experience is where you start to gain real knowledge about where you are. And gather as much support as you can.
✔️ Put out a positive frequency with the Five Ds.
- Allow yourself to dream and believe they can come true.
- Declare your vision.
- Discover your superpower.
- Have the drive and determination.
- Have faith in the divine.
✔️ Look outside the box. See the areas where you need support. Find the right tools and strategies to heal your mind, body, and spirit.
✔️ Believe that you’ll get there. If it can happen to me, it can be the same for you too.
Are you enjoying the show so far?
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or leave me a comment down below because this greatly helps in spreading my show to those who need it the most.
An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!
👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
Get VIP access to my upcoming book!
👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
I was so terrified of how my children would react to my divorce.
I was willing to stay in an unhappy marriage because I didn’t want them in a broken home.
But then, I realized I had to choose ME first, and I had the power to choose what my relationship with my kids would look like.
Tune in to this episode on How to Maintain a Good Relationship with Your Children after Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ No bashing. Kids are receptive when you’re badmouthing the other parent. Don’t make them feel bad for still loving your ex-spouse.
✔️ Don’t ask your kids digging questions about what your ex did. You may ask them how their time went. Listen intently to their experience and let them have it.
✔️ Connect with your kids while they’re with the other parent. For older kids, you can have video calls with them at the end of the day. Make them feel that you want to be a part of their life.
✔️ Don’t let your kids relay messages for your ex. They shouldn’t feel like they’re in the middle of something.
An amazing community of women is waiting for you in The Divorce Rehab™. Join us now!
👉 www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy
Get VIP access to my upcoming book!
👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Overly-controlling and perfectionist parents and discovering her husband’s addiction is what led international feminine-intimacy expert, Melisa Keenan to where she is today.
Taking a break from her marriage, she saw her relationship with her husband in a new light and unlocked a divine level of intimacy when they reunited.
“People need to know that it’s not a fairy tale,” she says.
She shares her valuable pieces of advice as to how you can also achieve intimacy and access your feminine energy – regardless of your relationship status.
Tune in to this episode on The Power of Intimacy with Melisa Keenan.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️There are three ideas of femininity.
- Cultural femininity – Notions of femininity depend on one’s culture.
- Masculine and feminine energy - Every person has them and demonstrates them in varied frequencies.
- Divine feminine - It is all the parts of what it means to be a full woman.
✔️ Intimacy is all about the present. To experience intimacy and closeness, let go of the past and don’t be worried about the future. What matters is the now. There are practices that we mistakenly associate with femininity like organization and service, but they are inherently masculine as they demonstrate control.
✔️ Intimacy isn’t just sex. It goes within, and even emotionally and spiritually. The physical act is only a gateway to intimacy. It involves safety, trust, and vulnerability.
✔️ We can’t experience intimacy with another more than ourselves. Take a deep breath and notice the feelings in your body. Understand your emotions so you can find out what you truly value and want for the future. Being busy doesn’t always mean self-healing.
✔️ Practice self-compassion. It all starts with putting your hand to your heart, telling yourself that it’s all going to be okay so you can finally extend your trust bubble and let love in again in your life.
Melisa Keenan is an international feminine intimacy coach, visionary, and keynote speaker.
She is the trailblazer of a movement of powerful women who pursue the fullest experience of life by embodying intimacy, and leading with their feminine in both business and marriage. Her clients are women who know that “living the dream” is only as fulfilling as their most intimate relationship, and their impact is only as wide as they are willing to go deep, within themselves.
Melisa’s power lies in her ability to heal and claim joy for both herself and others, through the tremendous life experience she has overcome.
She enjoys dancing, singing, working, and praying at her hobby ranch in Northern Nevada where she lives with her husband, CJ, and their four children Elisagrace, Christopher, Daily Abundance, and Evelyn-Joy.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce sucks, but it doesn’t have to hurt for the rest of your life.
As I juggled the grief of losing my mother and my marriage, I learned valuable lessons and ways of pushing through the pain.
I hope that my advice will also empower and guide you in moving forward and seeing your bright future on the other side.
Tune in to this episode on How To Navigate the Ups and Downs of Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Lean into whatever feeling comes up. Let go of self-judgment, so you can acknowledge the roller coaster of emotions. Everyone’s experiences can look different.
✔️ Failure is part of picking yourself back up. As you get back in touch with your true self, you’ll realize abundance is waiting for you to open the door to your life.
✔️ Tap into your power. My upcoming book isn’t the solution but a source of inspiration for you to see your beautiful potential and shift yourself on a path to healing.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Get VIP access to my upcoming book!
👉 www.divorcesucksnowwhat.com
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Hello, 2023!
Today, I’ll be talking about how you can maintain a positive outlook for this year and keep your eyes focused on what your future can look like after divorce.
You get to choose your own adventure. And you can do this in three simple steps.
Tune in to this episode on Finding Positive and Seeing Hope on The Other Side of Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Give yourself permission to feel. The shortcut through pain is to allow yourself to be with your emotions. It’s okay to take a break when it gets overwhelming. You don’t have to be at 100% every day.
✔️ Start planning things for yourself. Schedule eating out with friends. Take a hike. Make yourself your favorite cup of coffee. It’s all about re-engaging with the feeling of looking forward to doing something.
✔️ Focus on yourself. Pay attention to what you want and act on it. Initiate hanging out when you feel like you need company. Nobody else will take care of yourself but you.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com.
Financial Dignity® Coach Christine Luken’s journey to a healthy financial relationship was no easy feat.
Bouncing checks, an ex with terrible money habits, and a poor credit score – she turned to her family for help. She worked her way out with a plan and quit her corporate job to help others with similar struggles.
Now, she’s here to pass on her wisdom to you.
Tune in to this episode on How To Heal Your Relationship With Money with Christine Luken.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Treat money as a person. Unlike your ex, you and money are together forever. It deserves your love and attention. Christine also suggests writing a letter to money to clear yourself of your negative feelings surrounding it. You and money should be on the same team.
✔️Know your money story. It’s the learned behaviors and attitudes towards money that you’ve picked up from others. It created an emotional weight around my divorce as I did asset division and signed papers. Divorce is a business transaction. And that’s the reality.
✔️Give yourself space to calm down. Often our emotions overpower our reasoning. Making sound financial decisions requires both logic and feelings. Your entire being must be holistically in good condition to avoid impulsive money choices.
✔️Money represents freedom in options. It is a tool that provides, and it doesn’t care how it’s spent. Money can be used for evil. But it can also be given to someone in need. It’s all about the energy that you choose to put around it.
✔️Have a weekly money date. Spare some time in your calendar to go over your finances and assess your money health. You can even turn it into an enjoyable experience. Just like a real person, you need to date money to cultivate a good relationship.
✔️You can still have fun with a healthy spending plan. On your path to financial freedom, you don’t need to deprive yourself of the little pleasures of a good meal or a nice pair of shoes. Know where your money is going, and avoid too many restrictions.
Ready for money to support your happiness, rather than stress you out? Then you need Christine Luken, Financial Dignity® Coach in your corner!
As the Founder of the Financial Dignity® Movement, Christine has coached hundreds of high-earning professionals, business owners, and divorcing women to pay off staggering amounts of debt and massively increase their net worth. The author of several books, including Money is Emotional and Financial Dignity® After Divorce, Christine blends wise money management with emotional intelligence.
When she’s not coaching clients from her home office in Cincinnati, you can find this member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals curled up with a good book, a fluffy cat, and a strong cup of coffee. You can find her at www.ChristineLuken.com
Books on Amazon:
Financial Dignity After Divorce
Money is Emotional
Manage Money Like a Boss
Free Gift:
The Divorcing Woman's Money Checklist
Website: www.ChristineLuken.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christineluken/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/financialdignitycoach/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FinancialDignityCoach
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com.
Can you believe that it’s the end of 2022?
In this episode, I’ll be reflecting and sharing vulnerably where I’m at, how I choose to be taking care of myself during this very hard time of year for me, and how you can practice self-care as a way to start the new year.
Tune in to this episode on Self-Care During Hard Times.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ The first year of grief is always the hardest. Navigating my divorce and my mother’s passing was a difficult experience, but it also emphasized the importance of self-care.
✔️ Trust yourself and surrender to your feelings. Allow yourself to give what you need at the moment. Let go of judgment, worry, and fear. Letting the emotions flow through you can help you recover quicker.
✔️ Make the necessary shifts to your schedule. I had to move some of my clients because I felt like I needed more time to take care of myself. And you can too.
✔️ Find solace in the simple things. If walking your dog or buying a snack from the store is the only self-care that you can afford right now, it still counts.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Best-selling author and ‘The Divorce Coach’ Sara Davison is no stranger to reinventing herself after a separation.
After finding out her then-husband was setting up a new life with another partner, she faced the waves of a turbulent divorce and swore to survive it so she can help other women experiencing the same troubles.
Tune in to this episode on 5 Phases of Divorce with Sara Davison.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Everything passes. Just because life is bad in the moment doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way forever. Have faith in the possibility that you can turn your pain into power.
✔️Change how you react. Do you find yourself repeatedly frustrated over certain situations? Notice what you’re doing and ask yourself, “What can I do to take back my power and avoid being triggered?” You have full control over your emotions.
✔️Lower your expectations. If you have an ex that’s difficult to deal with, any other good that they do is a bonus. So whenever you’re frustrated about a recurring bad habit, like being late, take back control and plan ahead!
✔️Build your self-reliance muscles. Coming out of a toxic relationship, you may have lost the ability to trust your own instinct. Whatever your ex throws at you – from their lawyers or anyone else – let them do what they want. But don’t let it break you.
✔️ Make a breakup bucket list. Write down all the things you CAN do now that you couldn’t have done before. Did your ex hate leather trousers? Wear them! Did they stop you from painting the house with pastel shades? Now’s the time to do it!
✔️Push yourself outside your comfort zone. You’re doing just great the way you are. And all it takes is a little bit of stepping up for change to happen. It’s the small choices we make that lead to the biggest leaps forward. Enjoy the process, and test the waters. What can you do differently now?
Sara Davison, best known as ‘The Divorce Coach’ is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life-empowerment.
Following the launch of Sara’s Breakup & Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Program in 2018, Sara has now founded The International Divorce Coach Centre Of Excellence which has a coaching community of 250 Divorce Coaches spanning 16 countries and five continents.
Sara is a twice best-selling author, regular media commentator, and host of the #1 podcast Heartbreak to Happiness.
Books:
The Split: Breakup to Breakthrough in 30 Days or Less
Uncoupling: How to survive and thrive after breakup and divorce
Free Gift:
Breakup Survival Guide: https://www.saradavisonbreakupsurvivalguide.com/guide1
Website link: www.saradavison.com
Instagram and Facebook: @saradavisondivorcecoach
Twitter: SDDivorceCoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sara-davison-742b453/
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com.
Are you thinking of going on a soul-searching adventure? 🌏🧳✈️💜✨
THIS IS A SIGN for you to do just that!
Take it from fantastic actress and author, Gabrielle Stone, who reveals how a solo Europe trip after a painful divorce and losing new love became a cathartic journey that changed her life.
WATCH this new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide ▶️ How Heartbreak Led to Healing & Self Love with Gabrielle Stone.
✔️ Solo travel is what everyone should do once in their lives.
In her book, Eat, Pray, #FML, Gabrielle Stone tells the riveting account of how she survived heart-crushing breakups in a span of two months. Instead of wallowing in misery, she resolves to board a flight to Europe, go on a wild adventure, and unexpectedly find the answers she seeks.
✔️ Getting to know yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Gabrielle teaches the Thought Onion technique to understand oneself better and manage emotions after going through waves of abandonment, betrayal, pain, and trauma. Look at your thoughts and reactions and peel the layers back to get to the core. Adjust and have a different response in the future.
✔️ Relationships will always mirror things for you to work on and heal.
Are you mindful of the things that get you triggered, especially when relating to other people? These incidents or events that drive you crazy tie up to the small and big trauma deeply rooted in your past. Making an intention to understand yourself by your triggers will help you facilitate your healing faster and build healthier relationships in the present and future. #InnerWorkTakesWork
✔️ Use your heartbreak to pave this beautiful, unexpected healing path to self-love. The old aphorism 'What does not kill you makes you stronger' befits a spot on the wall as a nice reminder for many of us. 🖌️🖼 Remembering that we will eventually surpass it takes firm faith and resolve. After all, decisions made that were good and bad make us who we are.
To you, my sister, know that you are made of stronger stuff. Don't give up!
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Gabrielle Stone is no stranger to the world of entertainment. Growing up on set with her legendary scream-queen mother, Dee Wallace (Cujo, E.T.), she had days of licking off mommy's fake blood and watching behind-the-scenes movie magic. Seeing the world with mom and dad gave her the travel bug at an early age—until Gabrielle experienced a real-life horror when she lost her father suddenly at age seven.
After many years in the industry herself, Stone transitioned from meaty acting roles to writing and directing. Her award-winning films It Happened Again Last Night and After Emma gained her awards for writing, directing, and acting—but she had a bigger role in life that would soon present itself: freaking badass.
After the rug was vigorously pulled out from under her when her husband's affair came to light, she found herself falling into the arms of another man. After a second failed attempt at love and a massive heartbreak, she decided that instead of landing flat on her ass—she'd make a career out of it.
And so came the birth of the book Eat, Pray, #FML, where she shared all the mistakes, all the lessons, and most importantly, how she became a fearless leader from it all
When fans around the world demanded more, the highly anticipated sequel, The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl, and the podcast FML Talk we're born—and Gabrielle soon realized that her broken heart had bloomed a movement.
Grab Gabrielle's book, Eat Pray #FML:
https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Pray-FML-Gabrielle-Stone/dp/1733963707/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=1GCDW34QO46J4&keywords=eat+pray+fml&qid=1666197806&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjY4IiwicXNhIjoiMS4zNiIsInFzcCI6IjEuNjcifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=%2Caps%2C324&sr=8-1
The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl:
https://www.amazon.com/Ridiculous-Misadventures-Single-Girl-Pray/dp/1733963723/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3JLNL62XJV8JC&keywords=the+ridiculous+misadventures+of+a+single+girl&qid=1666197831&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjY5IiwicXNhIjoiMS44MyIsInFzcCI6IjEuODEifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=the+ridicu%2Caps%2C290&sr=8-1
Free Gift:
Self-love Cocktail Download on her website: https://www.eatprayfml.com/
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
In the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year," many of us can feel incredibly alone. ❄️ Family, togetherness, and love are the highlights of the season that can bring a swell of difficult emotions for the single, separated, and divorced.
Going through these challenging, yearly holiday episodes myself, I invite you to think about this shift. Instead of saying, "Oh, I'm just a single person now," Ask: "What new and amazing experience can I get to create this year?"
▶️ Feeling Lonely During the Holidays After Divorce
✔️ Don't choose to be lonely this time of year.
A couple of years ago, when I was newly divorced, I always wondered to myself: Who would I ever travel with? My parents are not fond of going around, while all my married friends cannot leave on a whim when they have to take care of the kids. Travelling is my passion, but I dreaded the thought of being by myself.
✔️ Fulfill your travel dreams post-divorce.
The holidays are the perfect time to go on that short trip or grand adventure you've long been postponing. It's time to follow the joy of experiencing new places and reconnect with yourself.
When I finally took the courage to travel solo and convince myself to leave the children for a while, I discovered that it was the best decision I had ever made for me. Going alone made me focus on myself, experience new adventures, and find fresh perspectives in another place with other people.
✔️ You can bring back "happy" in the holidays without your ex.
I just knew that ticking off a bucket list solo travel was something that I wanted to do. I finally made Egypt happen! ✨🌄✨I didn't let anybody tell me otherwise, even when my ex-husband asked, "What.. wait, you're traveling?" It was scheduled just a few weeks before my son's bar mitzvah. People in my circle said, "Oh, my God, you're so crazy. Why are you doing this?" I replied, "Because I get to do this by myself."
Like me, you can create new experiences.
You can find your true self and a new direction for your life.
You can be happy even if you're no longer running in tandem with someone else.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
Certified High-Performance Coach Jennifer Butler is no stranger to pivoting her life trajectory.
After a divorce in 2010, she realized that being a relationship coach wasn’t her true calling. Now, she envisions herself helping people live their best life.
Jennifer Butler shares her advice on how we can stay focused on our goals, what to do to fuel that momentum, and how to deal with negative thoughts.
Tune in to this episode on How to Create Confidence, Joy, & Passion in All Areas of Life with Jennifer Butler
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Give attention to that voice. Commit to it and focus on the next step. Let go of thinking about the next steps after that to avoid overwhelm. Just get your foot out the door and lean in the direction you want to take.
✔️ Imagine your higher self. How do you want to show up in this? Do you want to be more confident? Curious? This keeps you open to seeing the next step, and it’s all in your control. Own the fact that your energy is yours.
✔️ Failure is part of success. Instead of thinking, “Why did this happen to me?”, ask yourself, “What lesson can I get from this?” Failures move the plot of your success story and are also worth celebrating. Give it the meaning that inspires and transforms you.
✔️ Show courage every day. Choosing to have that tough conversation and setting boundaries hones your “courageous muscle” and allows things in your life to positively shift. It also keeps you focused on your goal.
✔️ You direct your life. We all have 24 hours in a day. It might feel scary to take the plunge at first but start small, such as taking control of how you feel right now. Your efforts add up. Remember - it’s a journey. You got this!
Jennifer Butler is a certified High-Performance Coach helping driven professionals design the life they want by activating their confidence, joy, and passion without sacrificing success and purpose.
Jennifer combines years of experience, extensive education, and a science-backed holistic framework to empower her clients to reach heightened levels of clarity, energy, courage, productivity, and influence.
The result is long-term success, positive relationships, and improved well-being.
Website link:
www.jenniferjoybutler.com
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Can you believe 2022 is about to end?
The holidays are a struggle not only for divorced parents but also for their children. But it’s important to remember that you have control over making this time a memorable one for you and your kids.
Tune in to this episode on How to Put Divorced Kids First During the Holidays.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ You have the power to ease the tension. It relies on your ability to plan ahead and what level of conflict you are avoiding. Although stressful, the holidays are a time to put grudges in the past and create positive experiences.
✔️ Focus on the time you have with your kids. And make it quality! Start new holiday traditions or adjust what worked for you in the past and make them your own.
✔️ Be mindful of your kids’ feelings. Help them regulate their inner conflicts. Let them feel and express their sadness. Don’t make them guilty of spending time away from you. Also, watch your words when talking to your ex in front of them.
✔️ Relax and enjoy yourself. Laugh and be joyful with your kids. Make memories with them that can stand the test of time.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2022-11
The RIGHT PERSON may have already come and gone because you've pushed them away many times. Whether it's low self-esteem or childhood traumas — if left unresolved, you sabotage your chance at love.
Stop denying yourself the relationship you deserve. Join me in this powerful episode ▶️ How To Date With Confidence To Magnetize Your Man For A Long-Term And Happy Relationship with Antia Boyd.
✔️ Purpose is where wound and opportunity meet. Expert love coach, Antia Boyd, shares that her life's work came to be from wounds growing up in an emotionally absent household in communist eastern Germany. Having a mom who was a narcissist contributed to her low self-esteem, which became evident in her relationships.
✔️ A walking contradiction. Antia lived a conflicted life; on the one hand, wanting to have that deeply-connected long-term relationship, and on the other hand, thinking she didn't need a man. "I'm sure many women can relate to that to keep themselves safe. Guess what? We're living in a universe of reflection. So what you send out, that's what you get back. And so I attracted men into my life who were also conflicted inside of that self. They were emotionally unavailable."
✔️ When you learn all the information but still can't figure out the answers. Internal integration is necessary to avoid the self-sabotaging habits that come up in the dating process.
✔️ The first step is to stop hiding. Anything that you're afraid to be found out about, feeling like you're just selfish, too needy, too much, too loud, or too intense. These aspects make you who you are, a vulnerable and imperfect human. Others cannot love you if you do not love everything that you are.
✔️ Men will test you unconsciously, especially those afraid of intimacy. Antia says to "advocate for yourself" in the court of love. "We're always making a case why we can't trust the men and get hurt by them. But why not make a case about all your attributes inside yourself being incredible and highly magnetic, and you can bring in the right man by becoming like a lighthouse so he can find you in the middle of the night?"
✔️ Be willing to be wrong. 🙅 Are you too scared of accepting love or affection? Do you unknowingly push people away and deny yourself being cared for, believing it makes you weak? A marriage that ended in divorce drives us to live in fear. However, it will require a new level of courage if we desire to take the path to a new life. Become aware and stop looking for what will go wrong. Embrace the fear of getting hurt, and then try again.
✔️ When a man truly loves you, he accepts you. Your biggest challenge will actually be accepting yourself. When you are given compliments and find them offensive, assess through what lenses you accept them. He may not be a sweet talker or a schmoozer, but your low perception of yourself can influence how you think of others' sincerity towards you.
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Antia Boyd was born in communist eastern Germany before the wall came down. She was single her entire life before she finally hired her own love coach, discovered the "Magnetize Your Man" Method, and attracted her amazing, handsome and supportive husband, Brody.
She's now been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over a decade to attract their man to share their life with & have a loving, long-term relationship ASAP without loneliness, frustration or rejection.
Antia studied Personality Psychology at U.C. Berkeley, an NLP and Dream Coaching certified and has spoken on hundreds of stages and radio shows all over the world, including ABC Radio, Google, the Harvard University Faculty Club, and Good Morning San Diego. For over a decade studied everything that she could get her hands on in the areas of love, psychology and create an amazing, happy relationship with your man the easy way without fear, trust issues, or men pulling away.
Free Gift for Listeners:
www.MYMQuiz.com
Free Quiz PLUS Free Gifts on How To Attract The Right Man For Them
Check out Antia's books on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Magnetize-Your-Man-Attract-Happier-ebook/dp/B08FLZSXF3/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2M7AUADQDX35G&keywords=magnetize+your+man&qid=1651284552&sprefix=Magnetize+your+%2Caps%2C254&sr=8-1
Website: https://www.magnetizeyourman.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AntiaBoyd
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AntiaBoyd
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
The holidays are the hardest time of year for many of us, especially for those who are facing divorce or are already on the other side.
You may be worrying about which family to spend it with and where to go. But all you truly want is peace, joy, and freedom.
This time of year is your chance to change traditions and create something of your own.
Tune in to this episode on How to Survive the Holidays After a Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Being alone is a choice. If you don’t want to feel lonely, call a friend and join in their celebrations. It might feel awkward at first, but there’s NO golden rule of who and where you should be spending your holidays.
✔️ Find what excites you about the holidays. Christmas-themed movies? Light shows? Hot chocolate? Do all your favorite things with your kids. Carry a positive energy that you can pass on to them.
✔️ Think about ways to make this time special. If your children don’t like turkey and prefer steak instead, cook it! If they’re free on other days, so what? What matters is the tradition you create.
✔️ Be gentle with yourself. What will make the holidays memorable for you? Give yourself care and love. Create memories that people will fondly look back on.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2022-11
Want to find yourself again after divorce? Go Here:
https://thedivorcerehab.com/finding-yourself-after-divorce
Going back to the dating scene was terrifying for author Laura Williams.
After a sudden divorce from a 27-year marriage, she had two paths: completely retreat for protection OR find something interesting with the risk of rejection.
Being unhappy wasn’t a choice. She says, “When I hear people are scared to get out there, I think, ‘Isn’t it scarier to stay where you are?’”
You, too, can make the same decision. Are you ready?
Tune in to this episode on Dating In Your Midlife After Divorce with Laura Williams.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️You need external feedback, not validation. Dating different people can help you know more about your strengths and weaknesses. We are our own worst critics of our bodies. But what we dislike is actually attractive in another’s eyes.
✔️Sex is self-expression, not an act of service. You have the choice to partake in the experiences and be involved with the people you want. Take the shame away from enjoying sex without commitment. Reclaim your power.
✔️Have space for your children’s feelings. Their reactions to your dating escapades may be celebrating with you or having difficulties processing the change. Validate their internal struggles. Get into honest conversations with them.
✔️Being a loyal mother is an asset. Some men find a woman’s dedication and loyalty to her children attractive. If he doesn’t like it when you drop dates to be with your kids, he’s not the one. Men who want to be with you DO exist!
✔️Be honest with what you’ve lost, and embrace what you’ve gained. Divorce and dating don’t make you less of a mother. It actually makes you more of it! Your kids want more quality time, heart-to-heart talks, and meaningful experiences.
✔️Be in it to find it. Dating post-divorce is like jumping into cold water. The only way to do it is to actually do it! You CAN have a supportive and loving partner. You CAN have a fulfilling relationship on your own terms. Trust the process.
Laura Friedman Williams is a native New Yorker whose writing credits consist of countless PTA newsletters, program notes for talent shows and school auctions, and ghostwritten bar mitzvah speeches for many of her friends. Her wit and wisdom have not yet made it to a larger audience, but her years spent raising children and running events at her children’s schools have kept her writing steady and sharp. She credits her degree in English from Washington University and the ten formative years she spent in book publishing – first in Subsidiary Rights at Warner Books (now Grand Central Publishing) and then at Henry Holt & Company, then as a book scout and finally as a literary agent – for giving her a deep love and respect for the written word. She credits the break-up of her marriage for finally giving her the subject matter about which she both needed and wanted to write. She lives in downtown Manhattan with her three children.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Whether you decide to lose that stubborn love handle or that piercing pain in the heart when you think about that person you once loved - the path from losing to healing is often something you cannot manage on your own.
I realized this in my personal struggle over the past two years of losing weight and getting healthy. In 2020, I injured my ankle and, since then, have fallen into a spiral of eating poorly and not exercising. Many pounds later, I was grasping onto whatever I could take - another book, another podcast, or another nutrition program that was tangible and within my reach. Yet nothing worked for me. And then, I realized this was the same pattern I had when I dealt with my divorce.
▶️ Discover How We Self-Sabotage in Divorce & Life with Wendy Sterling
✔️ Bearing the weight isn't just physical. I was carrying the weight of my trauma around my mom, who passed away. I was still holding the pain I had been through with my ex-husband and our divorce. These impacted my ability to move toward my goals.
✔️ Ask for help because you will stay stagnant without it. It wasn't until I asked a professional coach to weigh in and see a different perspective than mine, that I could see through my fitness and nutrition goals. So many times, when left to our devices, we are our own worst accountability partners.
✔️ Where is it in your life right now that you are self-sabotaging?
What is getting in the way of your healing and happiness? Please pay attention to what you are doing and what isn't working for you, and have the strength to acknowledge and do something about it.
Until you allow yourself to be honest and start paying attention to the adjustments instead of holding on to the “what-ifs,” you will find yourself in the pain of being stuck.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
Her early health struggles and her fond experiences with her late grandfather brought Juliana Leamen to where she is today as the founder of Naturally Joyous Inc, a Holistic Menopause Transition Expert, an author, and a podcast host.
She guides menopausal women in feeling comfortable in their own skin, helping them through their “weight-release” journeys, and regaining their confidence.
She is here to discuss with us her advice on how to shift our mindset towards losing weight and be more conscious in choosing the people we look up to.
Tune in to this episode on How to Become Your Body’s Best Friend in Midlife with Juliana Leamen.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Getting into shape is all about perception. While weight loss focuses on getting rid of disliked features such as love handles and belly fat, weight release focuses on accepting everything so that one’s body can change. Having a clear “why” is also a key in going through this process.
✔️ Look at the good and the bad of your emotions. When you’re attempting to be “perfect”, you hide your authentic emotions to avoid criticism. In some instances, anger can be a positive thing to get one out of stagnation.
✔️ Self-care is your responsibility. We can only be the best versions of ourselves when we are filling our own cups. No one else is doing that for us. When you exist in your most authentic light, the whole world celebrates with you.
✔️ Anything you aren’t grateful for becomes baggage. Challenging situations can either be paralyzing or empowering – it’s up to you to think of them as a teacher or a punisher. The quicker you learn the lesson, the easier it becomes. The more you know, the smoother you’ll flow.
✔️ We move with a motive. Do you catch yourself out of the blue – opening your pantry, craving that sweet treat? Though giving yourself a reward once in a while isn’t all that bad, it’s also helpful to consider where these feelings come from. Especially when you’re aiming for weight release.
✔️ Switch confidence around. Did that celebrity or influencer’s post make you feel bad about your body again? If you perceive something in someone else that makes you feel less than, it means you also have it… but in a totally different form. You love that celebrity’s hair, and you have hair too – designed in a way that’s uniquely YOU.
✔️ Everybody’s a mirror to you. In your healing journey, you are your top priority. It’s all your show. So go out there – stand in your power and let people talk. Your experiences and strength are just triggering their fears.
Juliana Leamen is the founder of Naturally Joyous Inc. She is a Holistic Menopause Transition Expert, the host of 'Confidence From Within' podcast and author of 'Release - A Woman's Guide To Releasing Weight In Midlife Through Becoming Your Body's Best Friend’.
She is a Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, Board Certified by The American Association of Natural Wellness Practitioners, University- trained with a Masters degree in Science, Registered Bach Flower Practitioner and trained in human behavior by the Demartini Institute.
She is on a mission to provide a new model of care for weight loss for women during menopause transition and post-menopause, what she calls weight release, moving away from the ‘diet mindset’ and helping women find confidence from within.
Free Gift for Listeners:
https://www.naturallyjoyous.ca/freetraining
Amazon Books:
Release - A Woman's Guide To Releasing Weight In Midlife Through Becoming Your Body's Best Friend
NOTE: the book site will be live by early May = www.naturallyjoyous.ca/book
Website link: https://www.naturallyjoyous.ca
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naturallyjoyous/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/juliana.leamen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naturally.joyous/
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Finding yourself is a lot easier than you think.
This is a topic that has been making rounds in my Facebook group and is still fresh in my mind.
I’ve been there – so overwhelmed I didn’t know how to start reclaiming myself after my divorce. I forgot who I was because she had been silenced for so long. And everything reminded me of what my life used to be.
This is why I’ve made this valuable resource so you can get out of the rut and reveal your authentic self to the world.
Tune in to this episode on Finding Yourself is Easier Than You are Making It.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Don’t give away your power. Choosing to be affected by the littlest things from your past relationship defeats your purpose of wanting to heal.
✔️ Allow yourself to have a voice. Your real self is inside of you. Intentionally bring it out and be confident in using it so you can finally be heard.
✔️ Use your internal compass. Be aware of the choices you’re making and how you’re showing up in certain situations. This is the foundation of your healing.
✔️ I want to see you not just survive, but THRIVE. And it’s best to have somebody with you on this journey. Answer these ten questions, and we’ll create a roadmap for you to find your identity and get out of the cycle of negativity. Plus, I’ll be giving you an easy-to-use resource that you can use when those intense, triggering moments come your way. You got this!
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Multimedia artist and author Mackenzie Bakewell introduces the “mindful coloring method” and shares with us the intuitive and meditative benefits of coloring that anyone – even without artistic experience – can incorporate into their everyday life as a way to relieve stress and improve focus.
Tune in to this episode on How to Embrace Gratitude, Relaxation & Mindfulness with Mackenzie Bakewell.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Get into coloring. Mackenzie Backwell teaches the steps to get started.
- Settle in, and do it.
- Grab the first color you’re drawn to.
- Take a moment to celebrate.
✔️ Studies prove coloring is for stress relief. Even just doodling or drawing for 45 minutes can significantly lower our cortisol levels. “You’re actively helping your body decrease stress and get to a relaxed state,” Mackenzie Bakewell adds.
✔️ Focus on the benefits. What if coloring isn’t just your jam? Look at the mental and psychological pros: more relaxation time, a chance to calm down, eliminates mental fog, and a handy destresser.
✔️ Include it in your routine. Seventy-one percent of Americans look at their phones upon waking up. Do it first thing in the morning. You can also treat it as your transition time before working or using any devices.
✔️ There’s no right way to color. “I’m not good at coloring. What if my art looks ugly?” Coloring is a fun activity, so don’t take it too seriously! Let your breath and heart guide you in playing with colors.
✔️ Coloring is meditation. Without overthinking it, coloring draws us into the present – we’re just there, shading between the lines and doing the task at hand.
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Mackenzie Bakewell is a multimedia artist and author based in the Pacific Northwest.
Her artwork is inspired by a lifetime of exploring nature and new places with a camera and sketchbook in hand, capturing the animals met and adventures had.
Her passion for book publishing has led to the creation of her own coloring book product line, which features her book, Journey of Colors, as well as color-your-own postcards, journals, posters, and more.
Mackenzie is also the author of ‘Coloring is Good for You: 13 Reasons to Color Daily,’ where she shares her simple mindful coloring method and creative ways to use coloring to enhance the quality of your day.
Free Gift for Listeners:
Sign-up and get Free Mindful Coloring eBook with Printable Coloring Pages
https://journeyofcolors.com/Gift/
Books on Amazon:
'Journey of Colors: Coloring Book and Guide to Technique'
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0578615460/
'Coloring is Good for You: 13 Reasons to Color Daily'
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09TY2WH82/
'Island Time Coloring Journal'
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1735850721/
'Rise&Shine Coloring Journal'
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/173585073X/
'Relax&Unwind Coloring Journal'
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1735850748/
Website link: https://www.ziebee.com/
Email: mbbakewell@gmail.com
Instagram, Twitter, Facebook: @ZieBeeMedia
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
At the heart of Sedona is the well of energy that helps cleanse and purify the spirit. I get to share an experience of this beautiful place of healing with women who couraged up after separation and divorce.
It's just so beautiful to see them transform before my eyes. I am fulfilled to witness my purpose, which has also unfolded from my marriage falling apart.
Indeed, glory and peace come to those who have faith. Always trust that the universe organizes and provides only the best for us.
Join this powerful conversation on the Divorced Woman's Guide show ▶️
How Faith Heals Your Divorce Wounds Faster.
✔️ Your essence is something that people get to experience every time they're around you. People feel you. You bring your essence through your energy. ✨ Now, think about it. When you walk into a room, do people feel compelled to come to you? Or do they step away?
Whether you choose to exude positive or negative energy determines how people would want (or not want) to be around you. Of course, you will be attracting people and things with the same energy as you. When you're vibrating at a low frequency, that's what you attract in your life.
✔️ Truly, your faith is the foundation for your divorce healing process.
What fuels your essence? Your faith in spirit. Your faith in God.
Your faith in the source. At the end of the day, if you can't get yourself to a place where you start understanding that your divorce happened for you, you will be the victim for the rest of your life. I know that you don't want to do that. Learn how to get back in touch with your faith, and start paying attention to the signs and that higher power speaking to you.
✔️ Allow yourself the opportunity to take care of yourself and to get in touch with your true essence. It's at this moment that you need to decide to go to new spaces and places that will facilitate your breakthroughs and healing. Be willing to pursue your own healing and be able to say that your divorce is your life's biggest blessing.
If you need help doing just that, the Divorced Woman's Guide is here for you. Press towards your greater destiny, sister, and I'm here to take you there.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
“Every woman needs to know that if things aren’t going the way they thought they would, they can do something about it,” says master-certified mindset coach Amy Sanders.
Her past people-pleasing self said “yes” to a proposal she never wanted. Eleven years and three kids down the road, she realized it was a mistake.
After taking back her power and control, she shares her insights and advice on how you can do the same.
Tune in to this episode on Reclaiming Control and Self-Coaching in Divorce and Life with Amy Sanders.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Divorce is just a circumstance. “Most of the thoughts we serve ourselves are lies,” says Amy Sanders. Divorcees tend to mull on the negative stigma surrounding their separation. But we have the power to flip it into an opportunity for introspection and growth.
✔️ The only person we can control is ourselves. Once you take this approach for every choice you make – whether it’s co-parenting or getting that settlement done – you start to appreciate the things you GET to do.
✔️ Acknowledge your emotions. What’s our first instinct when a wave of anxiety or sadness comes crashing in? We resist it. But Amy Sanders teaches us to let the emotion in, recognize its presence, and consciously choose to not let it ruin our day.
✔️ If the thought doesn’t serve you, pick a new one. Negative thoughts can be caught and steered in another direction, such as a bridge thought – recognize the difficult process and see the bright side.
✔️ Our feelings are ours. Nobody can hurt them but ourselves. Other people’s words and actions hurt if we allow them to. Let people say what they want and stand your ground. If you know the truth, keep your head high.
✔️ Wellness is all-encompassing. Stay hydrated, do your skincare, eat whole foods, and always keep your emotions in check. The sooner you get your emotional aspect in order, the quicker that illnesses will subside – or be prevented.
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Amy Sanders is a master-certified mindset and life coach. For more than two decades she has taught and inspired thousands of women through weight loss, mindset, and business. She works with women to uncover their purpose and help them release the deep-rooted beliefs that hold them back in life. This includes helping women heal from divorce, abuse, and other life-altering circumstances that cause trauma in women and keep them from reaching their true potential.
Free Gift for Listeners:
This is a free guide that helps you in your relationships, health & mental health. www.luckysanders.com/3-pillars-of-wellness-guide
Website link: www.luckysanders.com
Email: amy@luckysanders.com
Instagram: @coachamysanders
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Two weeks ago was the anniversary of the day I asked my ex-husband for a divorce.
It was also the day my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3C ovarian cancer.
The lessons have been so ingrained in my mind. But I’ve reached the point where the pain and rage no longer trigger me, and I look back at them as valuable learning experiences.
And I hope you will too.
Tune in to this episode on Convert Your Pain From Divorce Into Power.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Your divorce was the moment you reclaimed your power. You don’t have to look back at it as a day of loss. Soon, certain dates won’t hold as much weight as you feel now.
✔️ Live life to the fullest. Would you want to be remembered as someone who was angry all the time? There is a possibility of you going through the storm.
✔️ Be the calm in the fire of your emotions. I can guide you to get there, but it’s your choice to make that commitment and do the work. You can teach yourself to shift into that peaceful state when triggers arise.
✔️Find the lessons in what’s happening for you. Think outside the box. What’s the divorce trying to teach you? The gifts are waiting for you to open and cherish them.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com
In divorce, men are generally believed to move on faster than women – going off and getting married quickly.
However, this isn’t always the case.
Some men continue to struggle alone, without a community and resources.
Rob Roseman used to be one of them, leading him to create WTFDivorce – to help other divorced men rise from the pain and choose their happiness.
Tune in to this episode on The Male Perspective on Divorce with Rob Roseman.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Start dating to exercise your confidence muscle. It isn’t the right solution all the time. But also, you shouldn’t wait until you’re at your “perfect self” to start. This helps you learn how to set boundaries and get a feel for what you truly want.
✔️ Find resources. Give yourself grace after not being in the dating scene for decades. Learn from dating coaches. Watch podcasts and read books. Gather as much knowledge to strengthen your filter.
✔️ Diversify and find friends. Nothing’s stopping you from building friendships! It doesn’t have to be hard. Join hobby-related groups. Ask questions. Validate the other person.
✔️ Find time for self-care. Coparenting can burn you out if you don’t rest. Sometimes, you have to say no to your kids for your mental health. Then, you can come back as a better parent every time.
✔️ You can choose your happiness. Dear divorced men, you’re not alone! Groups DO exist. And this divorce will bring you more opportunities in the new chapter of your life.
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Rob Roseman is a former Las Vegas professional poker player and a divorced dad to three young children. He founded WTF divorce to help people dealing with divorce feel less alone, and to save them time searching for help.
Books on Amazon: Dad the Best I Can
Website link: www.WTFdivorce.com
Email: rob@wtfdivorce.com
Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest: @WTFdivorce
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The time after your divorce opens a new chapter in your life.
But thinking of creating a “new normal life” can be daunting. You’ve been spending years building a married life, and now you have to start all over again.
Don’t let it get you down. This means you have the chance to make something new and exciting for yourself. All it takes is a mindset shift and some practice.
Tune in to this episode on How To Create & Balance Your New Normal Life.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Embrace the new normal. Keep an open mind as you try to figure out what’s next for you, the lessons divorce has taught you, and design a life that’s all yours.
✔️ Know what your voice sounds like. Understand who you are and what you want. Make the necessary adjustments to finally start embarking on this new journey.
✔️ Advocate for yourself. Don’t let your divorce define you. The shortcut to healing is feeling through the pain. It’s your responsibility to reshape your new identity and communicate your boundaries based on your values.
✔️ Give yourself permission to craft what you want. The key to balance in navigating this new normal is honoring your values. Stand in your power and carve the new and better path waiting for you.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: www.contactwendy.com.
From a registered massage therapist to a relationship coach, Jaime Morgan didn’t let her divorce hurt her career choices and love for her sons.
Instead of making it a failure, she created it as a chance to step out of her comfort zone and embrace her new life.
Tune in to this episode on Divorce and A Spiritual Awakening: Can it Change Your Future Relationships? with Jaime Morgan.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Change starts within. Accepting that your divorce is an opportunity to be authentically you and to be truly fulfilled is the first step to confidence and self-worth.
✔️Kill the fear. When we get into new relationships after a divorce, we think, “Will I get hurt again? Am I missing something? Can I be myself with this person?” Catch them and shift them into more confident and curious conversations.
✔️Own your stuff. Look within yourself and ask, “What did I do wrong? And how can I improve and do better in my future relationships?” Take accountability. Claim your piece, and let it go.
✔️Leave behind the baggage of past mistakes. Be intentional in letting go of what happened. Not burying it. But acknowledging it, doing the work, and releasing the painful emotions.
✔️Surrender to the ride. Dating, meeting people, and new relationships after divorce can be one heck of a rollercoaster. But whatever happens, trust yourself to make better choices, especially now with new lessons and tools in your arsenal.
Jaime Morgan is a certified life coach and a Gottman Method-trained relationship coach.
Combining her academic & past personal experiences of her own struggles with a failed marriage, Jaime has a huge passion for helping unfulfilled, divorced women & couples thrive in their lives & relationships again through action-oriented coaching!
Jaime is now married to the love of her life, and she lives in Canada – B.C., with her husband and two sons.
Free Gift for Listeners:
Join the FREE VIP Abundant Life Facebook Group: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6199398cb4f6fb9d86fe6fbc
Website: https://jaimemorgan.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejaimemorgan/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheJaimeMorgan
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
If you follow me on Facebook and Instagram, you may have seen my Maui trip with my boyfriend and kids. Jeff and I decided to have a commitment ceremony, and it was magical.
Let me tell you, six years ago, I never thought I would find a love like this again. I hope that my story will inspire you to finally step out into the world and discover the amazing connections that are waiting for you on the other side.
Tune in to this episode on Finding Love Again After Divorce - My Story.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Dating teaches you about yourself. Seeing yourself reflected in others helps you learn your strengths and weaknesses. You can also hone your mental muscle in spotting red and green flags and setting boundaries.
✔️ Dating teaches you to open your heart again. This can be extremely tough if you’ve been cheated on. Once I allowed myself to trust, my intuition got even stronger than before. Your senses will speak to you and let you enjoy people’s company once more.
✔️ Build intimacy. One of the things I love about my current relationship is our strong foundation of honest communication. I highly recommend getting to know your date through consistent phone calls before meeting in person.
✔️ Maintain your identity outside of your relationship. I remember sacrificing my values and interests during the course of my marriage. With my current boyfriend, I’ve sworn that I’d never let that happen to me again.
✔️ Do the work. It took me six years to do it, and I don’t regret a single day it has taken me. Learn to love yourself again and know what you REALLY want in a partner. Write it all down. Make it your mission to never settle for less.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Coach and attorney Karen Covy saw her divorce as an opportunity to help people in need.
Everybody’s story is wildly different, but Karen Covy noticed women going through the same crossroads and making the same mistakes.
Now, she shares her expertise and advice so you can avoid them and go on the other side stronger and better than ever.
Tune in to this episode on Biggest Mistakes People Going Through Divorce Make with Karen Covy.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Understand financial implications. Settlements are not always 50/50. Even if your situation seems simple on paper, it won’t hurt to spend an hour with a financial advisor.
✔️Know what you want. Who should decide who gets to take the kids to school on Tuesdays? Not the judges. It should be YOU. You know what’s best for your family. Just be sure your ex-spouse agrees with it, too.
✔️Keep moving. Any movement is better than no movement. Nothing gets solved all at once. It’s key to take baby steps – one thing at a time – and consult a therapist to help you get through the physical and mental toll.
✔️Be prepared. It gives you the absolute best chance of getting what you want and ending up where you want to be. Get your head in the game. Know what you’re willing to compromise and your deal breakers.
✔️Home is where you are. Is moving the best idea? Should you sell your house? Strip out the emotion, and make your decision. Whatever it is, there’s nothing wrong with choosing to let go of the memories – both good and bad.
✔️ You are so much more than your divorce. Nobody gets married to get divorced or to believe that’s where it’s heading. But if it happens to you, don’t blame yourself. Remember that there’s a life after this.
Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach, Recovering Attorney, Mediator, Arbitrator, and Collaborative Divorce Professional.
Karen is the author of When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially, and Legally and the creator of the Divorce Road Map 2.0, an online program that educates and empowers those facing divorce and enables them to save time, money and heartache in their divorce.
Karen has been working as a divorce professional for over 25 years. She has been featured on the Channel 7 News, WCIU You and Me This Morning, WGN Radio, MarketWatch, and on numerous other websites, radio shows, and podcasts across the U.S. You can find her articles on The Huffington Post, Divorced Moms, GUYVORCE, Woman’s Divorce, Divorced Girl Smiling, The Goodmen Project, and Your Tango, as well as on her own divorce blog.
Free Gift for Listeners:
Free divorce toolkit www.karencovy.com/divorced-womans-guide
Amazon Link:
When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially and Legally:
https://www.amazon.com/When-Happily-Ever-After-Ends/dp/1512182214/
Website link:
Website link: https://karencovy.com
Email: karencovy@gmail.com
Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest: Karen Covy
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Nobody is truly prepared to say, “I want a divorce.”
Courses and workshops teach us about parenting and raising children, but not one teaches about divorce.
We never step into the possibility that divorce CAN happen.
Let me tell you this — Going through a divorce hits you differently when you’re in the midst of it, it leaks through all aspects of your life, and you never seem to have the space to think about what it looks like on the other side.
However, I want you to have the power to make that choice.
Tune in to the episode: How Choosing Me Meant Choosing Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Divorce is a tool for empowerment. Silence the shame of your divorce, it’s the greatest gift you’ve given to yourself! You’ve finally chosen a bright future and another shot at true happiness.
✔️ Rewrite your life on your own terms. I’ve decided that I’ll choose me – every day, from here on out. If my future partners understand why, they can come along for the ride. Choose the future YOU.
✔️ Be open to a new chapter. Choosing me meant choosing divorce, and I’m here, on the other side, thriving. You’re no different than me. You can create your vision for an amazing life. And your transformation will begin the moment you say, “Yes.”
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
“Divorce is the end of something, but it’s the beginning of something else,” says Shannon McGorry.
It was the circumstance that brought her to her true life purpose: to help women navigate through the difficult path of separation and the transition to a new life.
She shares her advice on fighting your fears of the future, letting go of resentment, taking that first step to self-healing, and appreciating your successes along the way.
Tune in to this episode on What's Next After Divorce with Shannon McGorry.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️In divorce, we’re stuck in a cycle of rumination. Shannon McGorry recommends writing your thoughts on paper. Dump it all down. What do you want to do? How do you want to spend your time? Journals have no constraints.
✔️Identify and combat fear. Fear shows up in the process, the loss, and the unknown. It’s a real problem for all of my clients. Pinpointing that fear is actually the first step in overcoming it.
✔️Make time to celebrate small wins. My clients forget to recognize that they’re making HUGE strides. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t there yet. Be proud of yourself for being courageous in taking action!
✔️Action cures fear. Don’t wait for that settlement to come through or that paperwork to be signed. A magic formula doesn’t exist. Only the choice to make the next step.
✔️Give yourself permission to dream. Making that decision to pursue change doesn’t have to be complicated. There’s no perfect way of doing it. Just getting your foot out the door is all you need.
✔️ Drain the resentment, and pivot yourself to your desires. It’s normal to resist having to face that emotional exhaustion. But it also takes so much to be proactive in finding the joy in your life again. Where do you want to channel your energy? It’s up to you.
Shannon McGorry is a Divorce Coach, passionate about creating a powerful shift in focus for women who refuse to be defined by divorce. Shannon is certified as a Professional Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, a graduate of I Heart Coaching, and a Magna Cum Laude graduate of Siena College with a B.A. in Economics. Her powerful coaching skills empower women through their chapter of divorce as they build 'what's next' in life with intention and clarity. Learn more and connect with Shannon at http://www.lovestrengthandgrace.com. (She is available for private coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements via her website).
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
After a divorce, we are constantly living on the hamster wheel of reliving specific moments of the marriage, and that can be emotionally exhausting.
But, it’s definitely possible to improve our mindset when remembering our past through the process of reflection.
I’ll be sharing the difference between relieving and reflecting and the benefits of reflecting in your journey to healing.
Tune in to this episode on Reliving vs Reflecting on Your Past in Your Divorce Recovery.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Reliving vs Reflecting. Reliving means allowing the anger and betrayal to come back and hurt us. Reflecting means processing what happened, taking the lessons, and appreciating how far you’ve come. If you’re able to tell them apart and choose the latter, that means you’re in a better place in your healing.
✔️Reflection allows you to celebrate. We don’t give ourselves much time to notice our small wins and distance from our past selves because of constant comparison. Despite what you’ve been through, take pride in where you are today
✔️Reflection shifts your perspective. Directing your energy toward a positive viewpoint is more productive than forcing one that doesn’t fit. Always remember that divorce happens FOR us. You have overcome so much!
✔️Reflection lets you reassess your present and future. Remember when you used to silence yourself? Now, you can live your life on your own terms. You can be as authentic as ever. There’s so much going on for you now that you’ve released yourself from the shackles of that person.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The last thing we think about during a divorce is ourselves.
Our health, mindset, and appearance are just thrown out of the window.
That’s why Elizabeth Resnick writes and coaches women everywhere on getting back control of their self-care.
Her realistic, no-BS, easy-to-follow advice has inspired and changed lives – from her 3-minute morning routine to her emphasis on taking collagen and increasing protein intake.
Tune in to this episode on Simple Self Care Tips To Use During Divorce with Elizabeth Resnick.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Visualize the perfect day. Not a vacation day. Just a regular day. Doing this, Elizabeth Resnick realized a lot of the things she desired were already in her daily life. Plus, she discovered something that she can actually live without.
✔️All you need is 3 minutes for a morning routine. Elizabeth Resnick teaches us step-by-step the easiest way to incorporate “happy, healthy, and hot” in your first waking hour. No excuses!
✔️Prioritize protein and produce. Whatever eating style you may have – it all starts in the kitchen. When grocery shopping, go for fresh fruit and vegetables. Don’t forget your dairy, meat, and seafood.
✔️Supplement with magnesium. Our bodies lack the efficiency to store and absorb it. Taking it daily carries tons of benefits for women – relaxation and a regular cycle.
✔️Body confidence is realizing our true physical strength and ability. Remember how it felt when you did your first 1-minute plank? Incorporating a simple daily workout may be for aesthetic reasons. But the more you do it, you realize it goes beyond that.
✔️ You’ve been showing up for others, why not for yourself? Not all days are high-vibe days. But once you make that choice to show up, speak about the things you’re grateful for, get your workout done, and eat healthy food, you’ll thank yourself for choosing YOU.
Elizabeth Resnick is a 55-year-old double-certified health coach and author who loves teaching women of all ages to love their bodies AND their lives.
Happy healthy and hot is a unique combination of mindset, nutrition, and fitness that works. Elizabeth’s clients achieve much more than weight loss. They report increased confidence, better energy, and an overall vitality that they never even anticipated.
Elizabeth coaches clients all over the US and has started branching out internationally. She has been featured on TV, and on numerous podcasts, and in 2020 was a finalist in the Maxim Cover Girl completion.
Free Gift or Promo for Listeners:
Top 5 weight loss tips for women- free PDF sharing simple tips you can implement immediately to see results
https://forms.aweber.com/form/94/35774294.htm
The Happy Healthy and Hot Journal- 90 Days to Love Your Body and Your Life
https://amzn.to/3NVRteu
Website: https://elizres.aweb.page/p/55ceecfa-987f-4288-9be6-351a50c6eb4b
Email: elizabeth@elizres.com
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/happyhealthyandhot_elizabeth
______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Imagine being in a boat in the middle of the ocean, getting bounced around by the waves, crashing in every direction.
That’s how divorce can feel. You’re off-balance all the time, and you’re working so hard to regain your footing.
Today, I want to talk about the ways in which you can finally stand on your two feet, without the fear of drowning, as you navigate through the processes of your divorce.
And all it takes is knowing when to say no and making time for the stuff that matters.
Tune in to this episode on 5 Steps To Create Balance After Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Decide what’s important for you and act accordingly. This can look like figuring out what your values are and setting boundaries. It can be difficult for recovering people-pleasers, but you can slowly exercise your intuition by paying attention to it when making crucial decisions.
✔️Avoid negativity. Fear is the root of negativity. Continuing to identify yourself with what happened to you and letting it consume you keeps you in the shadows. The key is to catch that negative thought and flip it into something positive. Come at it from a lens of love.
✔️Practice self-care. You’ve heard this a couple of times before. Devoting a little bit of time to yourself can significantly impact your self-esteem and overall confidence. Whatever feels good – taking a walk or reading a book – can easily pull you back up into your highest vibrations when problems arise.
✔️Learn how to prioritize yourself. You are in control of your life. You are the designer of your future. This means that you don’t have to be a superhero, doing everything you can to save everyone. Choose where to focus your energies and steer clear of the things that don’t really matter.
✔️ Release and accept. Forgiveness and acceptance are hard pills to swallow. But it’s time to be honest with yourself and recognize the responsibility you have for yourself and your children. To move forward, you have to let go of the things that are weighing you down.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Going through major life changes brought about by divorce renders us doubting ourselves and our capacity to rear our children. Living a solo life can be a struggle to find our way from powerless to becoming empowered.
My guest Diane Sorensen is no stranger to the pains of going through a divorce and the difficulties of co-parenting. She created the Beauty in Behavior program to educate adults on how to understand children's behavior and use them as opportunities for growth, both for them and for ourselves. Diane has been in the field of early childhood education for 30 years and holds degrees in early education and behavioral science.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Diane shares her struggles at home and in the classroom. Her fascination with wanting to understand behavior more introduced her to conscious discipline. "That's where my education started in taking a conscious approach and redefining my relationships with my children, myself, and the children in the classroom."
✔️ Powerless parenting versus empowered parenting. Diane points out that we can choose to step into our power as parents. Powerlessness is getting into the roles of victim, rescuer, or persecutor. We can challenge ourselves to step into that creative role and become our own coaches and our children as we go through challenges.
✔️ That victim mindset within your head is sometimes really sneaky. Start paying attention to how you are engaging in victimhood. As parents, the common phrase is, "I can't do XYZ because I have children." Right?
✔️Where there is blame, there is pain. Diane adds that we're off shooting our pain, blaming others to then self-blame. We don't need fixing but understanding.
✔️ Awareness is the bridge between problem and solution. We need to feel and understand our emotions and what they're telling us, and it is never too late. Diane shares that she was in her 40s when she came into parent coaching work. "I was utterly disconnected from feeling emotions. I had two feelings, being happy or mad. I did not feel them, and I acted them out. So if I was pleased, I was just over the top, and if I was angry, I was slamming things down."
✔️ Acknowledgment with compassion. Instead of moving into blame or judgment of what you feel, take power out by naming that voice that just came out. Doing so enables you to recalibrate yourself. Remember, what we resist persists and grows bigger.
✔️ We're so used to focusing on what we don't want. Diane reminds us to focus on what we do want and then take action. Action is where transformation happens. "Practice micro shifts. We traditionally live by black and white, and it's all or nothing." The little steps make a difference, and the difference they make is consistency.
✔️ We're really doing our kids a disservice when we follow them around and try to make everything great for them. We think we're saving them from feeling discomfort, but actually, it's us who don't want to see our children having emotions because we're not comfortable with their feelings. "It makes a huge impact when we can sit, be the container, give and hold space for them so they can feel sad, frustrated. They feel understood, seen and heard. As humans, that's all we want. All of us."
Diane Sorensen is a relationship-based parenting coach. She is the creator of the Beauty in Behavior parent coaching program.
Diane believes that children's behavior is constantly presenting us with opportunities for growth, both for them and for ourselves. Diane has been in the field of early childhood education for 30 years and holds degrees in early education and behavioral science.
She is also trained in Conscious Discipline, a research-based approach grounded in neuroscience. In her time as a teacher Diane implemented conscious discipline practices in her classroom. Teachers, administration and parents took notice and could see, hear and most importantly feel the difference in the classroom. Diane then took on the role of Behavior Specialist teaching other education staff these practices before turning full time to coaching parents.
The Beauty in Behavior program is designed to help parents understand their child's behavior on a deeper level, lower stress, and support parents in creating the relationships they desire.
Diane is also the creator and host of the "Beauty in Behavior" podcast.
Diane’s Free Gift for Listeners:
https://www.dianesorensen.net/resources
Parenting Myths, Dealing with a child who shows aggression, Relationship-based activities
Website: https://www.dianesorensen.net/beautyinbehavior
Podcast: https://www.dianesorensen.net/podcast
Email: dsorensen@dianesorensen.net
Instagram: @beauty.in.behavior
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Since my mom passed away, I have had a couple of really rocky months emotionally. I really needed to take some time away and focus on myself, my kids, and my father, who is adjusting to life by himself for the first time in 54 years. I realized that my mom feels like she is still with me.
For those of you who lost parents, relatives, and friends you've been so close to, have you felt their presence or perhaps seen signs that remind you of that person's love and inspiration?
Join this powerful conversation on the Divorced Woman's Guide show ▶️
How Spirit Supports Us During Grief.
✔️ We call them our protectors, spirit guides, or guardian angels — we believe that the souls of our loved ones who've passed on are still here to watch and help us.
✔️ Grief and belief. I believe that my mom is supporting me, supporting my children, supporting my dad, and from a place where she gets to do that in a way that serves us better.
✔️ When losing serves a purpose. Whether death or divorce, the experience of having somebody leave your life will make sense as you move forward. Those experiences, whether sad or happy, make you a stronger person.
✔️ I invite you to think outside the box and ask who else is supporting you spiritually? You have the opportunity to connect to that higher power. I encourage you to engage with them and articulate your desires, wishes, and dreams.
✔️Awareness is so incredibly important as you navigate wherever you are on your path. Life is happening for you and not to you. Sometimes our lessons are learned in ways that we don't like or ways that we wish would happen differently. Know that a higher power is guiding you, supporting you, and has your back.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
One question remains unanswered for many women post-divorce: What makes you happy? Failing to find the answer and knowing what feeds the soul is essential to healing, transformation and building a purposeful life. Certified Coach, Mentor, Mastermind Facilitator and NLP Practitioner Diane Forster shares that women can be selfish in a good way. To love oneself unconditionally is to be your life.
Watch ▶️ Intentional Living The 'I HAVE TODAY' Way
with Diane Forster.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️For Diane Forster, her calling was so big that she had no way to go but follow it. She turned her life's pain into her greater purpose. An award-winning inventor, best selling author, TEDx speaker, TV host, podcaster, and mentor — Diane lives to tell the tale that achieving life's ultimate plan is by first seeing your worth, loving yourself unconditionally, and having the strength to change.
✔️ "I Have Today" started as a poem two years after Diane's lowest point in life that became a movement. She teaches a three-step process: LOVE IT, THANK IT and BRING IT. It means love your life, no matter what has ever happened to you. Be thankful even for the pain as it teaches you strength, gives you clarity and instructs you wisdom. Learn from it, but don't hold on to it. Release and understand that it has served its purpose. Being grateful, the highest emotional vibration, allows you to bring abundance into your life.
✔️Living intentionally means that you do not leave your life up to the outside circumstances, events or people. It means that you are the one in control of your life. You get to decide how you want to live and how you want to feel in every moment, every situation.
✔️ Be a magnet to so much love in your life when you fall in love with yourself. A relationship ending can be a gift for you to discover who you are and what you're worth. Healing and transformation start from seeing one's worth first because the love you seek comes from within, not outside you. Find the confidence to speak from your heart and get clear on what makes you happy, and you will live your truth.
✔️Asking yourself the right questions. Discover enough of the things that are true for you to help you build your way into the future you desire and deserve. Every moment will allow you to make choices that serve you and the world.
Diane Forster is an Award-Winning Inventor, 2X Best Selling Author, TEDx Speaker, TV Host, Podcaster, Intentional Living Expert and Re-Invention Specialist. She works with clients privately and helps you clear away mindset blocks and limiting beliefs that can block you from reaching your full potential in business, life, and relationships.
She is a Certified Coach, Mentor, Mastermind Facilitator and NLP Practitioner, Certified Practitioner in Human Interaction Technology. She is the international best selling author of “I HAVE TODAY: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile...Finally!” and “A BETTER TODAY.”
Her LIVE TV Show along her Podcast, “I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster” and all her other products/programs help people live enriched, empowered, inspiring lives through their transitions, to reinvent themselves.
Diane has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, QVC, The LIST, 2nd Act TV, The Chicago Tribune, San Diego Voyager, Business News Daily and many other TV, Radio and Podcast shows. Diane is a regular guest and co-host on “The Edge'' Radio Show on KHTS Radio in Los Angeles. She has written articles for Inventor’s Digest Magazine and writes an inspiring weekly blog. Diane is a mother of twins and lives in San Diego. Her mission is to see that 1 BILLION people who don’t know their self-worth discover their true divinity, power, and purpose.
Diane’s Free Gift for Listeners:
Launch and STAR in Your Own TV Show Masterclass
https://www.dianewebinar.com/optin16111733186451648050654331
Website: www.dianeforster.com
Email: 4stardiane@gmail.com
Facebook and Instagram & TikTok: @DianeForsterOfficial
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Fear and intuition are often confused.
And it has to do with the fact that they are both felt in the gut.
Unfortunately, going through a divorce means you’ve been out of touch with your gut for so long that you forget what it actually feels like.
What happens is we get so preoccupied with our thoughts, making it difficult to understand what our gut is trying to tell us.
So I’d like to teach you different ways to distinguish your gut feelings based on intuition and fear.
Tune in to this episode on The Difference Between Fear and Intuition.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Fear vs intuition. Intuition is an odd, illogical hit that comes to you after the fact. Fear kicks in your anxiety. Your intuition is far more reliable than your fear. Train it. Listen to it. Know when it comes.
✔️Check your self-trust. Our self-trust gets worn down over time by our parents, teachers, and our ex-partners. So when you can’t trust your inner self, you’re disconnected from your intuition.
✔️Sit with your feelings. Get curious about it. Give your feelings a voice. Look at it dead in the eye so you can really hear what it’s telling you.
✔️Your intuition is a powerful tool. Fear is saying “no” in your head. Intuition is saying “yes” in your body. The more you practice it, the more you lean into your self-trust; the more you’ll learn to step back and become self-aware when something feels off.
✔️Feelings are data; don’t ignore them! They are your friends – even the uncomfortable ones! Trusting them allows you to access a wealth of information to help you in your journey to healing.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Psychologist and author Abby Medcalf loves talking to people about relationships. Her mission is to make research-based hands-on information accessible to everyone, regardless of what stage in the relationship they’re on.
Most couples would think communication is the #1 reason why relationships fail.
But Abby Medcalf thinks it goes deeper than that.
Tune in to this episode on The Reason Relationships Fail with Abby Medcalf
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Competition is the root issue. Couples work best when they’re on the same team. However, when they’re constantly keeping score, that’s where the connection takes a dive.
✔️Acknowledge the simple things. How do we pay more attention to our partner’s good deeds? Sense neutral actions as positive ones. They may start your car for you or make coffee. Make sure you acknowledge them every day in your head.
✔️Connect to correct. There’s nothing wrong with correcting our loved ones. But doing it from a place of “I’m right, and you’re wrong” is unfair. Make sure both sides are in a good headspace to receive information.
✔️Respected boundaries start with yourself. It’s not your partner’s job to enforce them. Take full responsibility for what you truly want and be clear with them. Remember, they’re not mind readers!
✔️Happy long-term couples have positive illusions about their partners. Remember when you first got married? The time it drove you crazy when you discovered their quirks and habits? Constantly remind yourself how lucky you are to have someone so unique, interesting, and loving — just for you!
✔️It’s better to be effective than to be correct. Does it frustrate you when your partner just doesn’t do the dishes? Or when they do, they still miss a spot or two? For your own mental peace, choose the smartest solution, not the one that feeds your ego. Pick your battles wisely.
Abby Medcalf is a Relationship Maven, psychologist, author, podcast host, and TEDX speaker who has helped thousands of people think differently so they can create connection, ease, and joy in their relationships (especially the one with yourself)!
With her unique background in both business and counseling, she brings a fresh, effective perspective to life’s struggles using humor and her direct, no-nonsense style.
With over 30 years of experience, Abby is a recognized authority and sought-after speaker at organizations such as Google, Apple, AT&T, Kaiser, PG&E, American Airlines, and Chevron.
She’s been a featured expert on CBS and ABC News and has been a contributor to the New York Times, Huff Post, Women’s Health, and Bustle.
She’s the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling book, “Be Happily Married, Even if Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing,” and the host of the top-rated “Relationships Made Easy” Podcast now in over 150 countries.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
It wasn’t until my divorce that I allowed myself to feel the spirituality that was in me.
How did it surface? On the night I found out about my husband’s affair, something punched my gut – telling me, “Wake up, Wendy!”
And that’s how I knew that I had it in me the whole time – the awareness, the instinctual voice, and the more I acknowledged it, the stronger it became.
It isn’t as simple as a snap of a finger. But rather a whole process that took a lot of learning and self-reflection.
Tune in to this episode on How I Grew Spiritually After Divorce.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Learn more to connect. Even with my Jewish roots, I sought spirituality from different places. Surrounding yourself with a community with faith in a higher power helps you keep in touch with your spiritual side.
✔️Identify your North Star. How? Recognize your values and how you can implement them as you move into your new life.
✔️Practice forgiveness. It doesn’t mean forgetting and condoning. It’s accepting what happened and letting it go to allow yourself to see the light, so you can bring back joy and love into your life again.
✔️Throw a divorce party. Spiritual healing doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes, you need unique methods to help you move forward. It can be an event to mark your bright future of endless possibilities!
✔️Destroy the dress. It symbolized closure and releasing that old identity and married life I had. Doing a ritual like this that you can actually see can be enough for us to process our feelings.
✔️Spirituality doesn’t look the same for everyone. Whether it’s a retreat, a burning of your ex-spouse’s gifts, or singing – the end goal is to release all the pent-up negative energy and manifest what we desire to create in this new life.
What’s your way of practicing spirituality in your healing process?
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce sucks no matter how you cut it.
But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Take it from best friends Jessica Klingbaum and T.H. Irwin.
Marrying and getting divorced around the same time, they supported each other through the process and vowed to help other women going through the same journey.
Tune in to this episode on The EXexperts: How To Deal with Divorce as a Woman with Jessica & T.H.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Don’t buy into social media. Pretty vacation snaps and huge smiles online can be a mask. T.H. Irwin shares that her “Facebook facade” was there to hide the crumbling state of her then-marriage.
✔️Foster a peaceful atmosphere. The impact of divorce on children all depends on how you respond to the situation. Kick the victim mentality and the pity parties. Carry yourself with grace and self-control.
✔️Kids can sense everything. They are receptive to our body language, our energies, and even the divorce. If you’re about to have an emotional outburst or engage in an intense conversation with your ex, make sure your kids aren’t around.
✔️Different divorces have a common thread. What ties them all is fear. We’re afraid of the unknown, of the future that lies after the separation. But no matter what, continue to empower yourself. You can still be a beacon of self-respect and integrity.
✔️Be resilient. You can control your own destiny. Will you continue to beat yourself up for what happened? Or will you push forward stronger and better than ever? You decide.
✔️Never sacrifice anything to save the relationship. You can’t fix people.
But you can definitely decide what you’re going to do next after knowing them more. Stop sacrificing your non-negotiables and counting on potential. Say no to half measures.
Jessica Klingbaum and T.H. Irwin are two best friends who got divorced at the same time. Although they had completely different experiences, they were lucky enough to have each other through it all. Rising from the lack of resources, support, and information during their separate journeys, along with the desire to help others maneuver through the process, they created The exExperts online community, and ultimately, they are your reality check. They are an honest, encouraging, and positive space for everybody at any stage of divorce. While there isn't a “right way” to divorce, the exExperts can help you find your way.
T.H. Irwin is a mom of three, happily divorced, and living her best life at 50. She has a special “girl gang,” a wonderful family, and an amazing boyfriend. She surrounds herself with people who encourage, productively challenge, support, love unconditionally, and teach her something new.
Jessica Klingbaum is a recovering Emmy-nominated TV producer, always moving faster than the speed of light, and always with a smile on her face. She’s pushing 50, raising two teenagers, and fully embracing her happily divorced status.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Contrary to popular belief, divorce doesn’t necessarily have a negative impact on our lives.
I teach my clients to understand how stepping out of a relationship that no longer serves us helps us regain control of what we truly want.
I’m here to share with you four positive effects of divorce that I’ve experienced that I’m sure you will too.
Tune in to this episode on How Divorce Helps Spark Self Discovery and Growth Among Women.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ You’ll become more self-aware. During my marriage, my world revolved around my ex-husband and my kids. I’ve never even thought about my desires – but now, it has never been clearer. I’m starting to learn what makes me happy, my needs, and what I wanted to create.
✔️ You’ll regain your confidence and power. Rebuilding your relationship with yourself and choosing to start a new chapter takes so much courage. Trust the process. Be excited about the thought that one day, you’ll get to see your true strength.
✔️ You’ll get to spend time how you want to. My weekends are freer than ever. I’ve gotten more breaks than I could imagine. I never had to coordinate with others when making plans. I sacrificed so much of it to my ex-spouse. And I won’t make the same mistake again.
✔️ You’ll have a stronger relationship with your kids. Take your mind off of yourself and bring all those energies to your little ones. Connect and have one-on-one time with them. Nothing is stopping you now.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Genuine girl power enthusiast, speaker, and author Michelle Dempsey knows how difficult divorce is for mothers with young kids.
Her struggle in finding resources motivated her to write and launch a podcast, aiming to guide other women in defeating the challenges of divorce and moving forward into becoming their best selves.
What’s her main piece of advice? Seek support, and focus on yourself.
Tune in to this episode on Moms Moving On: Conquering Divorce and Conflicted Coparenting with Michelle Dempsey.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Keep your ego in check. You may not have full control over other people’s opinions. But you have the power over your response. Michelle Dempsey touches on women’s paralyzing worry over their ex-spouses, badmouthing them to their children.
✔️ Co-parenting expert Bill Eddy says, “One reasonable parent is enough for the kids to be okay, even in unreasonable situations.” Cut out all the fighting and talking badly about your ex, then your kids would come out more resilient than ever.
✔️Everybody’s journey post-divorce looks different. And that’s okay. Don’t rush the process. Hastily securing your financials, parenting plan, or even living conditions can have long-term consequences. You want to be set up for success after this life-changing experience.
✔️The person who should change after marriage is you. No, it isn’t your fault, nor did you do anything wrong. But because you have to pick yourself up and learn how to co-parent with someone you once loved.
✔️Personal validation is your responsibility. You’re in this situation to be a parent, not as a former lover. If you’ve been so used to receiving approval from this person, it’s time to set boundaries.
✔️Take it slow in finding a healthy relationship post-divorce. It can be exhausting for the children to be introduced to someone new every two weeks. Enjoy your singlehood as you search for the right person that brings comfort and safety into your home and your heart.
Michelle Dempsey is a writer, mom, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist, speaker, and genuine girl power enthusiast. She fully believes in the power of having someone by your side to help you through the uncomfortable process of divorce as a way to empower and educate, making clients stronger. Her work has been featured in publications including Forbes, Scary Mommy, Parents, Daily Business Review, HuffPost, Elite Daily, and more. She works with women at all stages of divorce; from just deciding to end their marriage to looking for their stride in co-parenting and everything in between.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
What if I told you there’s a world out there where pain doesn’t paralyze, and instead, awakens?
Catching your spouse cheating, struggling to decide on getting a divorce, and finally doing it… it’s all excruciatingly painful.
But have you ever paused to think, “Is this trying to tell me something?”
I hope that my story will be a source of inspiration in navigating through the tumultuous waves of your own divorce.
So when’s the pain going to stop?
It stops now. Make that choice.
Tune in to this episode on When Will The Pain After Divorce End.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Cut yourself some slack. Nobody’s perfect. Don’t beat yourself up over what’s happening. You have the power to find a new perspective. Steer into a mindset of opportunity, not a challenge. What awesome things might be waiting for you at the end of the tunnel?
✔️ Treat your thoughts with kindness, compassion, and grace. Your thoughts and emotions are going to come in waves. Or it may feel like a rollercoaster. So when’s the ride slowing down? When you surrender to them without judgment.
✔️ Look for the silver lining in your pain. Everything is happening for you, not to you. It’s possible to take that pain and make it meaningful. You WILL experience catharsis if you allow yourself to. Life without pain makes it difficult to know what true happiness feels like. So go out there. Convert your pain into purpose. And make good things happen.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
A relationship with a narcissist can feel like a never-ending cycle.
At one moment, you always feel like you're in the wrong. Anger ignites inside of you. But in the next moment, you’re showered with gifts and affection. You shut down your initial feelings, but then the same things happen again.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s never your fault.
Narcissism exists on a continuum of varying degrees, making it difficult to pinpoint the red flags. However, Dr. Jaime Zuckerman is here to dissect the warning signs and the most effective ways to break free from the abuse.
Tune in to this episode on Narcissistic Relationship Abuse with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Spot the fairytale tactic. Dr. Jaime Zuckerman explains that even people of high stature aren’t immune to falling into the trap. One of the methods of a narcissist is labeling you as a soulmate on day one. It’s innately human to feel enamored, but be warned: It’s unusual and toxic.
✔️ Set an exit strategy. The destruction of a complex, layered relationship puts you at risk of physical and psychological harm that narcissists are capable of. Make sure you have somewhere safe to flee and reach out to as many people as you can.
✔️Rebuild your self-esteem. Getting therapy is crucial. Victims of narcissistic abuse start to feel like a shell of their former selves. Being deprived of choice for so long, choosing a song to listen to or a dress to wear becomes extremely difficult.
✔️A relationship with a narcissist is a tightly spun web. Their behavioral patterns tend to be like spoiled food wrapped in a pretty package. Most of the time, victims don’t even know they’re abused.
✔️Narcissism is a cycle built on intermittent reinforcement. Every move a narcissist makes is calculated. Find the right moment to step back and evaluate the situation. You don’t have to endure this for longer. You have the power to escape.
✔️You can’t fix a narcissist. Period. End of story. Ready to start dating again? Surround yourself with supportive individuals a.k.a. “relationship checkers”. Stop chasing potential. Be educated to avoid falling into the same trap.
Dr. Jaime Zuckerman respects how difficult it can be for people to seek treatment. In her practice, she creates a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental therapeutic environment to help you feel better, do better and ultimately, live better. Dr. Zuckerman specializes in the treatment of adults presenting with anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, adjustment to chronic medical conditions as well as everyday life stressors. These difficulties can greatly impact your ability and willingness to enjoy life, connect with loved ones, and effectively function in your daily life.
As a trained Cognitive Behavior therapist, Dr. Zuckerman uses only interventions that have been proven effective by empirical research. She will assist you in the development of emotional coping skills, help you identify unproductive patterns of behavior that are keeping you "stuck" and replace them with more adaptive styles of interacting. Using various mindfulness-based techniques, she helps patients become more objective to their own worrisome thoughts and internal negative self-talk. You will incorporate your personal strengths into your therapy and work together to improve self-esteem and overall personal growth.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
We've all been there, dealing with a narcissistic co-parent that puts our bodies into defensive mode every time we try to handle their inflexibility, arrogance and unhealthy feelings of self-importance. Whether it's a full-blown personality disorder or simply has the characteristics that test your boundaries, don't let your narcissistic ex wear you down by learning how to speak with them effectively.
Join this powerful conversation on the Divorced Woman's Guide show ▶️ Communicating with a Narcissist with Wendy Sterling.
✔️ We're often quick to react when communicating with a narcissistic ex. Release the initial urge to respond and hit them back with painful words as they hurl them at you. All that's going to do is make you feel bad. It's going to hurt your relationship with the people in your life, and at the end of the day, it doesn't achieve the outcome that you want in the easiest way possible for you.
✔️ A tell-tale sign of a narcissistic person is the language. If you're hearing them say "YOU" all the time – You're doing this, You're responsible for this, You're creating this, that's a finger-pointing game where they're trying to turn the story back on you like you did something wrong, trying to manipulate, gaslight and hit at you with emotional, verbal abuse. And so, understanding when that is happening is crucial.
✔️ Recalibrate to take your power back. You hear them say something and pinning back at you for doing something wrong. When this happens, I invite you to take a breath. Just take a second and hold; you do not have to respond right away. Remember, there is power in the pause.
When you react without thought, you're giving that person your power rather than choosing to respond calmly and frame an answer that will help you get your way and aid a beneficial situation for you and your kids.
✔️ Live your best life even when co-parenting. It's really valuable that we learn how to shift our communication with our ex from the lens of an ex-spouse into a parenting partner. I teach how you can start communicating from a place where you feel seen and heard instead of constantly feeling that the conversation is turned on you. Get out of the tailspin and live your best life, even when co-parenting.
Learn more at www.coparentingapart.com
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Toxic relationships can manifest anywhere - in the workplace, among your friend circle, or even within your extended family.
Join chiropractor-turned-life-coach Heidi Brocke as she unpacks her experiences into a purposeful business venture, helping others deal with and escape the overwhelming cycle of being with an energy-and-esteem-draining individual.
Tune in to this episode on What is a Toxic Relationship? with Heidi Brocke.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Recognize a toxic relationship. Heidi Brocke believes that the word “toxic” isn’t a diagnosis but an adjective to describe an unhealthy relationship - be it mentally, physically, or emotionally.
✔️ Catch the signs of a toxic relationship. They’re unpredictable and difficult to pinpoint. However, Heidi Brocke shares that it’s never too late to distinguish patterns of a toxic individual. The constant need to belittle and criticize is a glaring red flag.
✔️Keep your reactions in check. The toxic personality constantly looks for a reaction, whether it be tears, panic, or distress from the oppressed. The latter’s first instinct is always to spring into action to avoid conflict, like a dog fetching a stick.
✔️A toxic relationship is like walking into a stinky room. The longer you stay in a stinky room, the bad smell goes away. But that doesn’t always mean the smell is gone. The same principle applies to toxic relationships. The oppressed become desensitized to abuse because it happens daily.
✔️An emotionally abusive person uses the same playbook. Put yourself in an outsider’s perspective. Find out what motivates their behavior. You have the power and courage to analyze the situation and make educated decisions leading to your departure from the relationship.
✔️Use your voice. One loses so much of their esteem and identity when they’ve undergone a controlling and draining environment. Heidi Brocke and Wendy Sterling share the passion for empowering people to reclaim their autonomy and make decisions that align with their beliefs.
Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship, she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion; She left her 24 years career in healthcare to be the person she needed when she herself was trapped in the darkness of an unhealthy relationship to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors.
Today, she has helped hundreds rid and heal their toxic relationships and hosts the popular podcast, It’s Not Normal, It’s Toxic: Rid your life of toxic people, with over a million listens worldwide.
She’s an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area.
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Website link:
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Email: hello@coachingwithdrheidi.com and kasper@njorconnect.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachingwithdrheidi
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Going through an immense betrayal can be the most difficult thing to get over.
In fact, it makes it hard for us to trust others again.
Believe me. I know how it feels. My ex-husband cheated on me, and he was the last person I’d have ever thought to be capable of hurting me.
It took me some time to realize that trust has to start within ourselves.
Tune in to this episode on 3 Ways To Learn How To Trust Again.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Know your inner wisdom. You’ll never learn how to trust others if you don’t trust yourself. Listen to that inner wisdom inside of you. It’s that comforting voice that guides you to understand and learn when to let go.
✔️Determine your core values. To figure them out, group together all the words that resonate with you, and pick out the most powerful ones. Fully understand what matters most to you.
✔️Trust your intuition. It can feel like the universe whacking your head with a two-by-four. It’s sudden. It’s spontaneous. And it’s there to protect you.
It teaches you to avoid destructive patterns and leads you to the people with the best intentions.
✔️Your inner wisdom will always be in your favor. Know the difference between the negative voice and your inner wisdom. The negative voice judges.
Your inner wisdom is a soft, subtle push that stirs a pot of love and tenderness.
✔️Your values are your inner compass. “Should I trust this person or not? I can’t even trust my own feelings!” Check back on your values, and let them lead to your decision. Ask yourself the right questions, so you can gauge what trust feels like in your heart.
✔️Build your intuition muscle in your recovery process. Part of working on your intuition is starting to trust it. It’ll never let you down. And the only way to intensify it is to pay attention to which part of your body it hits and what it tries to tell you.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
After her son was born, Kristy Carruthers had to sell off their clothing, jewelry, and belongings. She started interviewing for jobs at four weeks postpartum. After living on credit cards for a few months, she just hit the end of the rope and ended up having to sell the house to pay the credit card bills. "The only thing at that point that kept us off the streets or from a program was the fact that my parents let us camp out in their basement for a few months to get back on my feet. And you know, it could have been so much worse. I set up a desk in their basement, and I would work the radio station during the day and go back to their place in the evening. And then, after kids were in bed, I would work for a few hours and keep trying to build my business. That's when the mind shift happened. I said to myself, 'You know what? This can never happen again. This is not acceptable.'" 👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Resetting Your Vision in the Hard Times with Kristy Carruthers. Top points you'll discover: ✔️ From rock bottom to rocking life. Before she became a successful CEO and Founder of SHEcorporated, Kristy Carruthers' journey to get there is one worth hearing and learning from. In this episode, she shares what it takes to rise from rock bottom and craft the life and business of her dreams.
✔️ Why balance is a lie. Balance means that sometimes you have to make some really hard choices that will pan out one day. But in that particular given moment, some sacrifices have to be made.
✔️The value of keeping your vision in the toughest times. As little girls, we had great imaginations. But then, as we get older, we start getting into day-to-day living just checking stuff off of our lists, and we forget what dreaming gets to look like.
✔️ Set the goal, work toward it and accept nothing less. There's no reason to fear failure because your success is guaranteed if you don't give up. Decide how you no longer want to stay where you are and do everything you can to live the life you deserve.
✔️ The vision of what that action looks like will look different in each step. We tell ourselves these stories that how we do things must look a certain way, and I tell you: it doesn't. Once you take the first steps, everything will shift and evolve. You're going to find out that all of those things you thought you needed to do before you could start aren't even necessary. Just start moving forward.
Kristy Carruthers is the CEO and Founder of SHEcorporated, a company dedicated to helping women start and scale their businesses by connecting them with resources, training and a community to support them on their journey. Kristy is the host of the One Step Empire Podcast. A successful entrepreneur, writer, and speaker, she believes that entrepreneurship is really the path to freedom. SHEcorporated offers a free 5-day Business Kickstart Bootcamp for women ready to get into business for themselves. You can sign up at the site to join a community where women are supported.
As a resource mentioned in the episode today, the Vision Board Kit would be great to download for free. Go to https://shecorporated.com
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call.
When I was married, divorce was never on my mind.
It never occurred to me that it had to be something I should learn about.
Fast forward to today, it continues to be that gift that keeps on giving. It has taught me about myself more than I ever knew.
Even though I’ve undergone therapy, I still believe that what I’ve endured and experienced post-divorce unraveled five lessons that I never would’ve discovered on my own.
Tune in to this episode on What Divorce Taught Me About Love, Marriage, and Relationships.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Pay attention to red flags. Ignoring red flags only justifies their actions. Look back on your own past relationships and think, “What were those red flags that I could reference to protect myself in future dates?”
✔️ Learn to make new friends. Maybe you’ve formed your entire circle based on your ex-spouse’s mutual friends. It’s either too awkward to reconnect or they’re busy with their married lives. The best thing to do? Find new people to hang out with!
✔️Reclaim your authentic self. Admit it, we’ve all been there. Don’t be afraid to show your real self to the world. Start being the woman you’ve always wanted to be.
✔️Single and alone is better than being married but lonely. Living alone isn’t the end of the world. It’s a privilege and a gift. Embrace it. You’ll notice that you now have so much free time in your hands. Why stay in a relationship that feels like a one-man ship?
✔️Point the finger at yourself and own your life. When married couples are in rocky waters, so much blaming happens. Divorce teaches you to stop surviving and start thriving. It’s time to take ownership of your choices.
✔️You are worthy of love and abundance in your relationships. Your story doesn’t have to stop at the terrible experiences. You can write the next side of that page to be full of happiness and success. You’re the author of your romantic endeavors.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Two-time TEDx speaker and underwater shark-photographer Marie-Elizabeth Mali joins the podcast to share the concept of relationship alchemy and give advice on dealing with grief, reclaiming self-acceptance, and opening oneself to accepting the purest love we deserve. Coaching has always been Marie-Elizabeth Mali’s life purpose. Early on, she has already recognized her desire to “bring people out of their daily experience.”
Tune in to this episode on Achieving Relationship Alchemy with Marie-Elizabeth Mali
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Find purpose in the pain. Marie-Elizabeth Mali believes that we teach what we most need to learn; thus, she deep-dived into the world of relationships and sexuality to support people with similar struggles.
✔️ Allow grief to sink in. Marie-Elizabeth Mali assures us that allowing ourselves to be sad can actually accelerate the healing process. Taking your time to acknowledge your feelings can bring you to a better space mentally. Wait for your soul to give you that nudge of “Hey, it’s time to get up!” and follow it.
✔️ Cultivate self-acceptance. Change never happens in an atmosphere of shame. You’re done crying, and now you’d like to be in a new relationship. Give yourself enough room to make mistakes and say the craziest things on dates, because it’s part of your healing journey.
✔️ Alchemy is knowing how to turn conflict into relationship gold. In medieval times, alchemy was the science of turning lead into gold. Relationship gold is the ability to maintain the connection and deepen your intimacy with your partner - even in tough times.
✔️ Retrain your brain to look for green flags. The more you celebrate your wins, the more of that begins to happen. Going through an emotionally painful experience wires us to constantly watch out for red flags. But this anxiety-driven mindset blocks us from the best life experiences.
✔️ Navigating through relationships is lifelong research. Dating, meeting new people, and keeping a long-term partner isn’t as easy as a walk in the park. Practice speaking up in real-time about your feelings so you can align your relationships to your purpose - be it to have children or experience comfort and affection.
As a Relationship Alchemist and two-time TEDx Speaker, Marie-Elizabeth Mali shows visionary women how to cultivate deeper love and connection in their intimate relationships.
Drawing on her Master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine and over 20 years of working with clients, she teaches women how to show up as authentic leaders in their relationships and work instead of twisting themselves to fit in.
Marie-Elizabeth’s work has been featured in Thrive Global, SWAAY, and Forbes. Marie-Elizabeth is also a member of the Forbes Business Council, a published author with an MFA in Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College, and an underwater photographer who has a thing for sharks.
Free Gift or Promo for Listeners:
Relationship Alchemy Assessment
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Website link:
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
It's so interesting to see my full circle with the healing I have done and to finally see a huge difference where I am today versus where I was. With a hundred episodes aired here at the Divorced Woman's Guide, there's always something from my own experience and the rest of our other guests and experts that you can glean lessons from and apply in your unique situation. So please don't give up and give yourself grace and compassion as we're all riding this divorce rollercoaster. As always, I am here to support you. WATCH ▶️ Losing and Finding Yourself After Divorce with Wendy Sterling.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ The divorce rate shows mind-blowing statistics. Do you know that women initiate two out of three divorces, making almost 70% of all divorces is women initiated? Even though the divorce rate is slightly declining, the rising area is called gray divorce, which comprises the 50 to 65 age group. The divorce rate has gone up close to 90% in the last five years and doubled in the previous 20 years. Isn't that insane? The statistics tell you literally that you are not alone in this journey.
✔️ Whatever causes push one party to decide the marital dissolution, the psychological benefits for the persons involved far outweigh the costs and emotional distress of a divorce. Women go through more burdens after the relationship is over, yet they take the courage to stand up and decide when enough is enough.
✔️ You've gone through the heartaches of divorce, but you don't necessarily have to let your health suffer for it. The risk of a heart attack in divorced women is two times more likely than in someone who is not. Your blood pressure spikes, you are in a heightened state, you're anxious, angry and pained. Start your healing and recovery, overcome physical manifestations of divorce in your body and find support to get back to who you loved yourself to be.
✔️ My R.E.H.A.B program has helped me immensely and all the other women who walked their journey with me.
Reclaim your identity
End the victim mindset and the pity party
Heal your wounds
Acceptance and accountability
Building your new life
Are you ready for your healing?
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Through movement, mindset, and nourishment, it was possible to overcome life's biggest hurdles for Jessica Gershman to ultimately achieve being The Zen Mom. A yoga teacher and an overcomer of eating disorders, Jessica gives women hope that it is possible to live in joy and daily peace. 👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Mindfulness Tips And Tricks And How To Be More Present In Your Life with Jessica Gershman.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ We're not coming up with new problems that others haven't encountered. Jessica emphasizes that it is important to find comfort that many others have already experienced everything you've experienced. Whatever you're going through in yourself and your relationships, it is wise to learn and ask for help from others. As much as it can be very isolating -- in reality, we are all in this together.
✔️ We give others care and compassion -- but how about ourselves? Many of us going through a divorce live in the land of bitterness, resentment, guilt and sadness. We prevent ourselves from entering the world of joy, peace and love because we're just so focused on the past. Don't let the valuable time you have now get wasted, and let life pass you by.
✔️ Mindfulness is the tool to bridge our head and our heart. Yoga and meditation are a big part of getting more present to what is here in the now. I would say that these are a great first step for anyone, especially as moms, to make ourselves a priority.
✔️ Yoga and meditation are called "practices" and not competition. The tight, confining, stringent expectations of women keep us from achieving our wellness goals. "Give yourself the grace to go through the human experience and take baby steps. Commit to creating a better life for yourself to recover from divorce, death and any suffering in some way."
✔️ When you are honest about your experience, your suffering or what you're going through -- you permit someone else to show up just as they are imperfectly perfect.
Jessica Gershman is the founder of The Zen Mommy and the voice behind the Mom, Slow Down! podcast as well as a passionate believer in the power of self-care.
Through her work as a certified yoga instructor, an accomplished home chef, and a dedicated mindfulness practitioner she has created a holistic program that supports women, especially moms, in giving them the tools to create a satisfying life.
Jessica has experienced juggling the demands of a career, as a successful commercial real estate developer, with the life-changing role of “mom.”
Through the work of The Zen Mommy, she shares her personal story of overcoming disordered eating, redefining her sense of self as a new mother, and finding ways to feed herself first as a foundation for a more joyful and less stressful life.
Jessica’s mission is to reframe the idea of what a "good mom" looks like - and give moms the permission to show up just as they are.
Know more about Jessica and visit https://thezenmommy.com/
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Regardless of where you are in your co-parenting relationship with your soon to be ex-spouse or your ex-spouse, there are five ways to always get yourself back on track and create the co-parenting dynamic that works for you.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Tune in to Co-Parenting Done Right - 5 Tips to Get Back on Track with Wendy Sterling.
Key points covered in this episode:
Tip #1: Always put your kids first. When you put your kids first, it essentially means that you are also putting yourself in their place. The best way is to think about how you communicate with your co-parent. If your kids were ever to get a hold of that voicemail or to see that email, would they find you coming from a place of bitterness or anger? Would you have no shame or embarrassment around how you were communicating with your ex?
Tip #2: Stop thinking that your co-parent will show up any differently than how you were together in the relationship. Truth bomb: your ex is never going to change. YOU will not help them change. They have to want to change by themselves. When we are constantly in the mindset of trying to get them to be somebody we want or expect them to be, we're focusing on all the things that we don't have control over instead of focusing on the things that we do have control over.
Tip #3: Create boundaries. Creating boundaries is crucial when shifting out of the marriage dynamic and into a co-parenting relationship. You make new limitations based on your role as mom or dad instead of coming in as ex-wife or ex-husband.
Tip #4: Co-parenting is a constant dance. The marriage may be done, but it is never over. When you share kids, your relationship is forever. That is just the reality. And so what I always say is be flexible. Sometimes the dance may go fast; sometimes, it may go slow. Sometimes you take the lead, and sometimes you don't. But at the end of the day, you must make sure that you don't compromise your values and compromise your individuality as you navigate a co-parenting relationship.
Tip #5: Less is more when communicating with your co-parent. How many times do you go into explanations and share too much information with your ex? Learn to master situations when you don't have to give and entertain the extra commentary.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The Three Hidden Financial Hacks To Avoid with Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison and Catherine Shanahan, CDFA
Don’t let divorce mess up your financial health.
Instead of going through the awkward process of approaching that accountant who’s friends with your ex-spouse, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan share hacks in getting your information and reclaiming your financial independence.
Tune in to this episode on The Three Hidden Financial Hacks To Avoid.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️You’re entitled to get your information. Ask for access and secure a copy of your tax returns and other documents. Don’t be afraid to put red flags up as you hold the right to your personal information.
✔️ Pay attention. Karen Chellew shares that marital agreements come in the form of paragraphs, and it’s quite easy to overlook minute details. Ensure that the dollar amounts are accurate and aligned with the terms you’ve negotiated.
✔️Don’t look back on your divorce with resentment. Regret is a painful thing to experience after a divorce. Don’t let this happen to you. Reach out to experts who can help you get back on your feet and retrieve your wealth and assets. You are your own boss now.
✔️ You have the legal right to have a copy of your full tax return. All you have to do is fill out the IRS Form 4506 and send your request to your financial planner. Know your options in securing the post-divorce life that you want.
✔️ Be careful when you’re compromising. It can keep conflict at bay. Everyone has their considerations and opinions on how much the other party can own and should pay. However, what exactly are you negotiating away? Be wary of what you’re signing off at the moment and don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison
For over 30 years, Karen has worked in the legal field as a paralegal and business manager. During her career, she served as an affiliated member of the Pennsylvania Bar Association and President Elect of the ALA (Association of Legal Administrators). Karen now serves clients and the professional team in her role as legal liaison. She is an affiliate member of the American Bar Association (ABA) Dispute Resolution Committee, a certified QDRO Administrator, Founder and President of Sisters U Foundation, and an Auditor of East Rockhill Township. As the mom of three children and one granddaughter, Karen is extremely passionate about helping women in all that she does.
Catherine Shanahan, CDFA
After 25 years in the financial industry, having raised five children and endured her own experience with divorce, Catherine became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), trained Mediator and Daily Money Manager (PDMM). Catherine is collaboratively trained and was a member of the Bucks County Collaborative Law Group. She is a member of the American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM) the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, and the Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP). Catherine is fully dedicated to helping clients understand and navigate all aspects of divorce including planning a secure financial future post-divorce.
Join the The #1 summit for empowered divorced women:
https://mydivorcesolution.com/mrs2me-summit-2022/ . Receive 20% off for Mrs2Me Event using the promo code: WendySterling
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
I hate Valentine’s Day. No, this isn’t a result of my divorce. It’s something I’ve believed in even while I was married to my ex-husband.
Valentine’s Day has been watered down to a hallmark holiday. The media has instilled in us that we deserve to be showered with love only one day a year.
But the truth is: Loving ourselves and others should last all year round.
Tune in to this episode on All the Reasons Why I Dislike Valentine’s Day.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Revisit old hobbies. What is something you used to love doing that you had to give up? Something simple as reading 10 pages of a book or going on a quick hike can give you that extra mood-lifting boost to your day.
✔️ Speak kindly to yourself. We would never say terrible things to our friends. But when we speak to ourselves, it’s the complete opposite. We are our own best friends. Throw away all the excuses, start paying attention to your thoughts, and ask yourself: “Does this serve me in my process of self-love?” Give yourself a compliment because you deserve it.
✔️Commit to loving yourself every single day of the year. You may be in a tough time right now, but it’s not worth sacrificing your self-worth. At the start of my journey, it was hard to find something positive. But I realized I was capable of finding love - by finding ways to give it to myself. Take this as a challenge.
✔️ Understand the things you love about yourself, even if people can’t see them. I tend to be obsessive when it comes to cleaning. Others may define this as a flaw, but I consider this a vital part of me. Embrace your qualities, and see them as something positive.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Author and mom of 7 Rachel Marie Martin shares her pivotal moments when faced with her life's biggest trials. Divorce, financial troubles and illness in the family are only a few of what she went through. Join me in yet another insightful open-hearted discussion in this new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Finding Joy After Divorce with Rachel Martin. Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Meet Rachel Martin, the writer behind the site FindingJoy.net. Her articles have been translated into over 25 languages, and her site has helped so many people find their own joy.
✔️ Rachel shares the story of her first marriage, dealing with extreme financial issues and pretending to be strong, which in turn was a sort of emotional abuse. "When you live in the fog, you don't really know that you're in a fog. But during that time, I started a blog, started writing online, and in that writing, in the beginning, it was just kind of this outlet like, this is what we do every day and just sharing my life. And as time grew, I realized there's this whole community of women and moms in this space of looking for community, looking for camaraderie."
✔️ Blogging as an opportunity and a breakthrough. "I started to sell an ebook, that's when I realized I could make money, it became an opportunity for me to see a pivot in my life. Did I know the beginning would lead to my divorce? No, but it became a solution for me because I was living in this financial despair. And by then, the site continued to grow so much that it became my full-time business, and I started a business with my now-husband, where we teach and train bloggers and podcasters and entrepreneurs how to go from being a hobby to a full-time income."
✔️ The pivotal moment. "I was flirting dangerously with just becoming numb to life. Time was still passing by no matter what time was going to keep going, and I was either going to live with joy or live with bitterness because you can't have a foot in both camps; I realized I was trying to do both, but I was starting to get more and more bitter. And that apathy part, I'd seen too many women that had just ended up resigned to life. And even though I had no money, I had no options. I didn't know what to do. The drive to not live an apathetic life took root that day."
✔️ In the beginning, be willing to not know. Rachel emphasizes how we forget that we are all lousy at the start. "I think that we all see the end of people's success and forget to underscore the backstory. We celebrate the underdogs, yet we forget their years of practice in the beginning."
✔️ One small thing every single day is 365 small things. Understand the value of constantly challenging yourself. Always ask what's the next small thing you can do and have faith in the future. Put yourself out there. The worst somebody could say is "no".
✔️Finding joy is looking for the good despite the circumstances. See what is good every day and know that there's something worth being grateful for even if life is hard.
✔️ The best things in Rachel's life wouldn't have happened if she hadn't checked that divorce box. Maybe it's time for you, too, to recognize that divorce is just part of the story that helped you in those moments when you fell.
✔️ Instead of fighting grief or uncertainty, allow yourself to experience it. Those times when you're down, give yourself some grace, sit in the emotion of the moment, and tomorrow -- decide to stand up again.
✔️ Step through the muck and embrace the possibility of joy on the other side. Divorce isn't an easy thing, but don't let it define the potential of what you're going to do and be in the future.
Rachel Martin believes in the power of the human spirit to overcome, thrive, and find deep joy, and because of that, she pours out her heart via these platforms: she is the writer behind the site FindingJoy.net and author of The Brave Art of Motherhood. Her articles have been translated into over 25 languages, her site reaches millions of visitors per month, and she has a robust, engaged Facebook community.
Her content has been featured in The Huffington Post, The Today Show, The Today Show Parents, Star Tribune, Tiny Buddha, iVillage, Stuff New Zealand, John Tesh, PopSugar, Motherly, Parents, What to Expect, Independent Journal Review, Dr. Greene, Power of Positivity, Her View From Home, CafeMom, and many more. She speaks worldwide, encouraging moms and entrepreneurs to live each day with purpose and drive. Beyond that, she's a mom to seven and calls Nashville, Tennessee, her home.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Never have we experienced a point in our lifetimes that we've experienced so many people that have left us and died brought about by this ongoing pandemic. Grief comes as indescribable pain that can render even the most emotionally strong feel helpless.
Tune in to this episode on Death, Divorce and Overcoming Loss.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️Whatever you're feeling -- acknowledge it. It will do you no good denying that this is what you are going through in this season of your life. But also recognizing that you are not alone and that many others have gone through the same way makes the pursuit of healing and peace possible in chaos and pain.
✔️ Do you feel like driving through an unknown road, dazed and confused, not knowing where to turn? I have come to realize that you can't let go of the wheel in life; just keep your foot on the gas. Don't stop. Trust your inner knowing and the divine providence that you will be brought on the correct path.
✔️ In the toughest moments where you can't see through the fog and don't know what the road ahead looks like, allow me to show you how it is still possible to maintain balance to come back to a place of acceptance, trust and freedom. And it's not about you doing this by yourself, but me coming along with you on your journey.
✔️Join me on February 2, 2022, a unique event to create peace and harmony for ourselves. The 2s represent numbers telling us that our angels are here guiding us. Know that you don't have to go through your troubles alone. Allow me to hold your hand and help pull you to the other side where there's inner peace and direction.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
We have all experienced betrayal in one form or another. Former attorney, bestselling author, international speaker Lora Cheadle tells the story of how she was able to go from the devastation of betrayal to achieving her most brilliant life! Courageously stripping out of old beliefs and revealing exactly who she was is the key to true healing and uncovering her power!
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —
Overcoming Relationship Betrayal with Lora Cheadle.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ The pain of betrayal and infidelity is an opportunity to grow and to understand yourself better. Know that only you can do your healing work for you — and set no expectations that you can do the same for your partner. Focus wholeheartedly on yourself, and use this experience for good.
✔️ If somebody else judged you -- it's absolutely their prerogative that says a whole lot about them and nothing about you. Lora is the epitome that it's possible to become BRILLIANT and BOLD after BETRAYAL. "I was shattered personally; not only have I given up my life professionally, but I also don't even feel comfortable saying anything because of the way people are going to start judging me. It took a while for me to see it was not my fault, untangle myself from that perceived judgment, and get strong in myself that his infidelity had nothing to do with me or my choices. If somebody else judged me, that was absolutely their prerogative, and it said a whole lot about them and nothing about me. That was really the catalyst for a lot of my work, coaching women around empowerment. I almost betrayed myself by hiding my story. How many other ways have we betrayed ourselves by putting up with the world and just shutting up, not to rock the boat? I saw my entire life in a different light and decided I would not do that anymore."
✔️ Discover Lora's Five Steps of FLAUNT! and the magic of burlesque to help you untangle yourself from the past, release judgment, and uncover your inner power.
✔️ Think who you would want to be and NOT who you're supposed to be. What is a good daughter? A good coparent? A good mom? Create your own definition of what your roles mean for you and not what is expected of you.
✔️ Your burlesque persona can do all the things that you're too afraid to do. The word "burlesque" screams so many different meanings for people. As a routine, Lora has employed burlesque to empower many women's lives. When incorporated in the healing process, they "strip out of" their pain, confusion, and insecurity and playfully reveal themselves as they are - and not what the world dictates them to be.
Lora Cheadle helps women overcome the devastation of betrayal and confidently engage in life again. She's a former attorney, podcast host, and bestselling author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self.
After being shattered by her husband's fifteen years of infidelity, she uses her experience to help others reclaim their identity, self-worth, and enthusiasm for life after betrayal.
Named a Top Influencer by Success Women's Conference, she has spoken on numerous stages, including the Women Economic Forum in New Deli, India.
Her work has been published in Thrive Global, Yoga Magazine, and Om Yoga Magazine, among others.
Connect with Lora:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lora.cheadle
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/loracheadlelifechoreographer
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loracheadle/
Website: www.loracheadle.com
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call.
Even though my divorce is four and a half years behind me, what I have been going through these past days with my mom feels extremely similar. I went through the experience again after my wonderful 74-year-old mother lost to ovarian cancer.
Mom found out about her condition on the same day that I told my now ex-husband that I wanted a divorce. Talk about grief hitting me twice in one day with probably the two people that were my biggest rocks.
In the middle of grief, I find myself feeling completely numb and weak and yet the need to stand strong.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Grief comes in waves and a myriad of different ways. As I am going through this again — the death of my marriage and now the death of my mother— the feelings feel very similar. It's never easy to say goodbye to somebody. The grief comes rushing in — whether it's the feeling of death like how divorce can be for so many of us or death in the family due to an accident or illness. There are moments where it feels debilitating.
✔️ Be present in the life that you have. Whatever you are going through right now: permit yourself to feel it all. Go through the motions to your healing. The only way to the other side is to be fully present now and hopeful of tomorrow's promises.
✔️ As we enter the new chapter of 2022, the good days will be amazing, and the bad days will be hard. But just staying present in what you will be feeling and the roller coaster of emotions that comes with it is OK.
It is OK to be authentic.
It is OK to express yourself,
and it's OK to take a break from life.
✔️ Life is now. If there's a significant thing that death and divorce taught me, life is truly short. We need to make a conscious decision if we continue to live in fear of what's to come or be present in the life that we have — because the only time that exists is now.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Why do people struggle in relationships, and so many women are their own worst enemies? In this episode, I share the screen with Junie Moon, also known as The Love Coach, who shares how true healing can be possible for women that have been through hell, heartbreak or betrayal and finding new love that they deserve. After gleaning wisdom from her own painful experiences, she holds the flashlight and teaches many others to walk through the dark tunnel and get to the other side.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Why we are our own worst enemies, and yet we are our best friends as well. We can beat ourselves up with thoughts of "What's wrong with me? Why did I do that? Why did I say that? Why do I keep creating the same horrible scenarios with people who seem different but end up being the same?" On some level, we're also choosing these patterns as a way to stay safe and be careful while, on the other hand, also sabotaging the very things we want.
✔️ Know your inner risk manager. The mechanism of a "safety valve" built into our survival system ensures that we don't take certain chances so that we don't get hurt again. Call it an inner critic, a saboteur or a gremlin. Such results in self-sabotage and getting in our own way, afraid that if we do something differently & open up our hearts again, the same thing might happen.
✔️ Discover the miracles of shadow work. This healing modality allows us to shine a light on our hidden parts and show up fully with our beauty and imperfections, and feel comfortable with that. In shadow work, we can identify a wound or a pattern that keeps showing up, that there are special processes that we do to break through those patterns.
✔️ Understand the four love shadows. If you've been wounded in one of these four areas, this is going to be potentially detrimental to you opening up your heart and having a great relationship with others or with yourself.
✔️ Know that love is not only possible, but it's also our birthright. We need to get out the way of being who we are, being ourselves and loving ourselves without apology and be able to experience next-level love just as we are.
✔️ What is a miracle? A shift in your perception. Become aware of the pattern or the pain or whatever is not working for you, and then say, I want something else, and I'm going to figure it out. Deciding that your circumstance is unacceptable is the most crucial step to achieving a breakthrough and massive change.
✔️ Take your power back on your choices and start making new decisions. Peeling back the layers of your shadows helps you get stronger and healthier. And at the end of the day, we can take back our control, clarity, and self-worth and be way more conscious.
Junie Moon, The Love Coach, teaches women in midlife how to magnetize their ideal partner and experience Next Level Love.
Using her unique heart-centered dating strategies, coupled with some powerful mindset tools that helped her magnetize the love of her own life, women learn to embrace this precious stage of life with confidence, playfulness and ease.
Junie’s an award-winning international speaker, #1 Amazon Best-selling author of Loving the Whole Package: Shed the Shame and Live Life Out Loud, director/producer of the film Shed the Shame, host of the podcast Midlife Love Out Loud and a Certified Shadow Work® Facilitator.
Free Gift or Promo for Listeners:
Find Fabulous Love After 40 Guidebook: 10 Easy Steps Proven to Welcome In Next Level Love
https://coachjuniemoon.pages.ontraport.net/findfabulousloveguide
Website: www.coachjuniemoon.com
Email:junie@coachjuniemoon.com
Grab Junie’s books in Amazon: Loving The Whole Package: Shed the Shame and Live Life Out Loud
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Whole-Package-Shed-Shame/dp/1944177752/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=loving+the+whole+package&qid=1631138495&sr=8-1
Follow Junie on social
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovecoachjuniemoon/
https://www.facebook.com/junie.moonschreiber/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovecoachjuniemoon
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCflI1ts0J4gZ0ur6YOfav1A
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/love-coach-junie-moon-995262a/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/coachjuniemoon
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Can you believe it — we're finally in the year 2022! It is insane and crazy even to say that out loud. I am looking forward to what a new set of 365 days has to offer.
In this episode, I share what I love to do at the start of every year: reclaiming and becoming who I am meant to be as we look forward to a new chapter of challenges and opportunities.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Reclaiming Your Sense Of Self.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ What goals have you already set? Don't get me wrong; it's essential to know where you want to go. However, what I know to be true is that setting goals is just the first step; what matters is setting an intention behind those goals.
✔️ A powerful tip is to develop your word of the year. What word will you live into with every decision you make as it relates to your personal life and business? Everything throughout 2022 gets to come from that word of the year.
✔️ Declare it to the universe and say it out loud. Close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like to embody that word every day, every action you're taking, everything you set your mind to and every ball you put into motion.
✔️ If you commit to becoming your most authentic self, you will feel free, peaceful and in harmony. Set the intention and surrender to the path you will take on.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
As an author, coach and expert on relationships, Lindsey Ellison went through 2020 with so much devastation and felt like dying from grief, self-doubt and shame. She never felt so heartbroken and like a fraud should she be "exposed" that her second marriage has failed.
Today she comes back stronger, wiser and happier with a book full of blessings.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide — Blessings of a Breakup with Lindsey Ellison.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Lindsey tells the desolation she went through handling COVID, the kids and a failing marriage. "It just felt like the whole world was on me to manage, and I wasn't managing myself. On top of that, I'm a coach. There was just huge cognitive dissonance between what I thought everyone thought of me and what I had to be. My world was falling apart. I had just stopped working. My husband doesn't have a job. Within a couple of months, I was starting to have a nervous breakdown, shutting down all day, sitting outside, staring out, crying, depressed at everything."
✔️ Codependency is like a disease — you can't be cured of it, and you have to manage it. Lindsey shares how this is also a sort of addiction. "We have a thinking problem. We can't manage our thoughts because we have had so much trauma and all this other stuff going on and things that we've learned are wrong."
✔️ The ego is the chief operating officer of the belief system of our past.
It takes courage and a whole lot of faith to move forward and hold the belief that you are no longer what happened to you in the past. While it feels painful when everyone expects us to "move on," the process of healing may feel like forever but know that soon, you will get there.
✔️ With help from the world-renowned center for childhood trauma, The Meadows, Lindsey shares how she was able to understand how her past created a false belief system of her present, which continued to dictate and have control over her future.
✔️ Who's your higher power? "I see this with my clients all the time. As women, we are culturally rewarded for making men our higher power. So that's what I realized is when my higher power was gone, I felt utterly broken and lost. And that's where I recognize I have to go, find the higher power within. So that's really where my grieving started to shift and to dive in and connect with this thing called God."
✔️Lindsey sends a daily email, Blessons of a Breakup — a short "Blesson" (a blessing with a lesson) to help readers heal from pain, to think differently about a breakup and future romantic partnerships.
Lindsey Ellison is a breakup breakthrough coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc., a coaching practice dedicated to helping people navigate their divorce or break up.
She is the author of the best selling book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist and her latest book, Blessons of a Breakup.
Get Lindsey's book for free if you opt-in to the daily email, Blessons of a Breakup.
Find Lindsey on her popular podcast, Unbreakable You: Breakup Without Being Broken or visit her website www.lindseyellison.com
Socials:
IG: https://www.instagram.com/lindsey_ellison/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/ThriveWithLindsey/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsey-ellison-8884643/
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The holidays bring up a smorgasbord of emotions that stir up the dynamics of how we relate to each other. In this episode, we talk about the impact of divorce on you, your family, the extended family and managing your ex's family during this time.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —The Impact of Divorce on Family Dynamics.
Key points covered in this episode:
✔️ Surrender to the shifts. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. This holiday season, know that it's OK if your family dynamics shift. Allow yourself to redefine what "family" looks like for you this year. Accept the changes. Don't let your divorce dictate what it seems like every year for you to enjoy and make the most out of this season.
✔️ If you spend the holidays that people usually don't consider "normal", it's OK. Create new traditions that suit your family. While that seems sad or scary, there's also so much excitement that comes with it.
✔️ There will always be new situations and circumstances because this is life. It's really about how you navigate the bumps, managing in the now, choosing to show up and create something memorable and special for yourself and having grace for the emotions that come up during this time of year.
✔️ It isn't very easy, but I know that just because it seems this way this year, it doesn't necessarily mean that it will be the same in three years. I always tell my clients to root themselves in the now instead of worrying about how it's going to be.
✔️ Family is not just by blood. What I know to be true about family is all about love, connection, respect and relationship. Therefore spending the holidays can also be about being with acquaintances and friends.
✔️ How do you deal with your ex's family after divorce? It can be a struggle during the holidays when we become acutely aware of how incomplete things are, especially if you were super tight and close to your ex's parents, siblings, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Have the grace for the emotions that come up for you and decide if you want to reach out, if you're going to send gifts or still have a get-together.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Are you thinking of going back to work, going into business, or switching careers during or after a divorce? Nobody can teach you how to navigate this better than Marlo Lyons. With 20 years of experience under her belt, she has transitioned careers 4x now - from TV News Reporter to Entertainment Lawyer, to HR Business Partner to Executive and Career Coach, and now as a Book Author.
Tune in and join us in this powerful episode Switching Careers After Divorce with Marlo Lyons.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Sure, you haven't been back in the workforce in eight to twelve years, now what? Marlo Lyons shares that people get confused with being stuck versus being lost. "We can make any choice we want. It's really about not knowing what to do. Now, that's different, but remember - you have worked. You don't want to say domestic engineer or conflict resolution specialist in your resume. You have to go out and be willing to relearn and get those resources."
✔️ Shift that fear into curiosity. It takes that one person or wake-up moment to get out of your fears and know there are possibilities. Limiting beliefs hold us all back, especially if you are in the depths of despair and pain and hurt and do not know how to get out of the quicksand that can swallow you whole.
✔️ Be OK without dumping all your accomplishments in your resumé. "When you look through the lens of the new job, look at job descriptions, what's required, and only those skills that apply to the new job. You don't want to muddy up your resume with everything you've done. I see this every day when every day resumes."
✔️ Define your values and translate them into skills. When your values are fulfilled, you are engaged, excited, and wanting to work. "So dream big like you don't get to choose. You don't get to tell me that not having enough money or not going back to school and all the excuses can keep you from what truly interests you. Dig deeper and go figure out what that is."
✔️ Maximize hiring opportunities worldwide. Companies are more open to people transferring their skills because they can't find enough workers. And as long as you position yourself well and show that you can do it, there are much more opportunities open than before. They're not going to find that person with 20 years' experience.
Marlo Lyons has spent more than 20 years inspiring, motivating, and empowering people to excel in their careers and businesses. Marlo's career is fascinating - she transferred her skills to change careers from TV news reporter for more than a decade, to entertainment lawyer for another decade, to HR Business Partner in both entertainment and the medical technology industries, to executive/career coach and strategist. She currently uses her coaching skills as a strategic HR business partner, working with senior leaders, and as a strategic career coach to clients globally. Her HR, career coaching, and leadership expertise combined with her own personal career transitions have provided her great insight into how to give each job seeker a strategic pathway forward, whether that path means obtaining a new job at the right company, transitioning to a new career, recovering from termination, or re-entering the workforce after a long absence. That is why she has now put all of her experiences and clients she has coached along with a step-by-step playbook on how to do it into a new book titled Wanted -> A New Career, The Definitive Playbook for Transitioning to a New Career or Finding Your Dream Job.
Grab Wanted -> A New Career on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09BJ19751?pf_rd_r=HTP1DKP6X9HS9M160YRB&pf_rd_p=8fe9b1d0-f378-4356-8bb8-cada7525eadd&pd_rd_r=37ce9a86-7465-45de-8c0e-fada523a8485&pd_rd_w=uZlQI&pd_rd_wg=zO8K1&ref_=pd_gw_unk
Visit her website for more info: www.marlolyonscoaching.com.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
After the first year of separation or divorce, former husbands and wives often don't get to have a clear playbook on how the holidays should look like. The preparation and logistics are already complex and get exacerbated if you haven't figured out how to manage your emotions. It's overwhelming as it is.
As you face the fact that the family unit has disintegrated, the ways used to celebrate this time are no longer the same, and those changes can be devastating.
I can tell you from my own experience that there are ways for you to navigate this, and there are possibilities available to you to experience the gratitude and the joy that comes with the holidays.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —Tips To Survive Divorce During the Holidays.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Tip #1: Focus on what is best for your kids. This can be hard, but it means putting aside your feelings towards your former spouse. You can do this by ensuring that you have emotional support, either talking to friends, a diverse group, or even your own therapist. Process through your emotions and feel whatever comes up. However, it's not a good idea to share any of that information or to put any of that on our children. They can feel it; they can sense it and remember that your kids know that they're a part of both of you. And so they still want to enjoy their time with their other parent, and they want to be able to enjoy time with you as well.
✔️ Tip #2: Have a clear plan. This is why, when you're going through your divorce that it is so essential to spell out custody for the holidays. Depending on your arrangement, discuss what days the kids spend with each parent or how and where you pick up and drop off. For the sake of your kids, coordination and clarity are incredibly important.
✔️ Tip #3: Don't look at the holidays as a competition with your ex. How many of you are like chomping at the bit to inundate your kids with "Where did you go? What did you eat? Who was there?" Go easy on questions when you get the kids back and prevent yourself from going down that path and bombard them with questions about the experience that they had with their other parent.
✔️ Tip #4: Give yourself grace and patience. Losing the idea of the family we had is so painful for everybody, even for the person who initiated the separation. The emotional ups and downs will be there like a roller coaster because perhaps you're still in that grieving process. I encourage you to do this holiday season to immerse yourself in your new future, come up with new traditions, and maintain some old ones that perhaps get to look a little bit different over time.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The Impact of Divorce on Finances for Women with Sara Chevere
One of the scariest realities when you go through a divorce, is finding your way around your finances. Nothing is more terrifying than having to confront what you don't know. Sara Chevere has been helping women get smart about money while navigating the pain of separation.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️When it comes to divorce, you want to learn how to delay gratification. Often when we are going through pain, we want to have external things fulfil us. We start spending a lot of money. Take those emotions out and embrace anticipation. Instead of focusing on your current circumstances, look at the potential of what your future will look like. Ask yourself: now that I'm divorced, who am I? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to end up? When you learn to shift, practice delayed gratification and embrace the anticipation; you're going to come out a lot better, stronger and hopefully richer than your previous circumstances.
✔️ You've heard financial coaches stating matter of factly that if you can't manage $1,000, you can't manage $10,000. Nothing can be more true for a reminder. Contrary to what you believe in, learning how to handle your money will not come when you get more money! (Heard stories of lottery winners & celebrities losing their fortune?) It's time to invest in getting financially savvy and see how wealth will naturally follow.
✔️ Many women hustle and hustle hard. But they forget that they shouldn't be only working for their money, but let money work for them. Being in the financial industry for so long, Sara sees women struggle financially, wanting to start other businesses, which is great. But at the same time, if they don't understand how money works, they might be thriving but find themselves still losing money.
✔️ Should you fight for the house? Sara Chevere has this to say about working with women going through a divorce and being strategic on what to do with the marital estate as an asset. When they can set their feelings aside, they can come from a logical place to make the best decisions for themselves and their kids. To realise that the house is not something they should be fighting for despite not being able to afford it. The money they spend on attorneys fees could go to a college fund or invest more strategically. Doing so helps them avoid making mistakes during the divorce that can be a costly liability in the future.
Sara Chevere is an Intuitive Financial Coach who helps single/divorced Professional Women struggling to manage their finances and feel stuck trading time for money by teaching them how money works, so they can dream again and live their lives on their own terms, without depending on a man.
Her clients are achieving a level of financial success that they didn't feel was possible.
Sara's methods are not of the typical Financial Advisors. What she teaches and the way she teaches are considered non-traditional, unorthodox, and revolutionary.
Website: www.financebabe.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarachevere/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/financebabe.net
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarachevere/
Join Sara's Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/financebabes
Free Gift or Promo for Listeners: 90 Days Financial Blueprint
https://www.sarachevere.com/90-day-financial-blueprint
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call.
Feelings of stress and heartache seem to be on steroids during the holidays. Not only do we have to deal with overspending and logistical nightmares, but we're also going through an emotional roller coaster dealing with separation or divorce that we do not want to wish even on our worst enemies.
This magical time of the year is bound to have some challenges for you and your kids. But I'm here to tell you that there are some things that you can do to help everybody get through it and possibly experience a lot of joy.
👉🏼 Tune in to the new episode of the Divorced Woman's Guide —How To Manage Thanksgiving/Holiday Stress After Divorce with Wendy Sterling.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Tip 1: Make new traditions. If you always spend Thanksgiving with your spouse's family, get them to go to yours this year. Or perhaps you create a Thanksgiving tradition at your own home. You might also want to consider volunteering or possibly inviting friends over or asking if you can attend dinner with your friends. When you guys deal with divorce, we tend to dwell on the past and how things used to be. So if you've always wished that you had more connection or relaxation over the holidays, take a second to think about how you can get them mapped out and take steps to achieve them.
✔️ Tip 2: Model being grateful. Thanksgiving is a holiday about being grateful, and I understand it may feel impossible, especially if you're still in a place where you feel sad, angry, hurt or lonely. You don't need to fake your feelings; I'm encouraging you to identify things you are grateful for in your life. Perhaps it is your close relationship with your kids, an amazing, supportive community. Or maybe it is your family. When we highlight what we are grateful for, you model what positive coping looks like for your kids.
✔️ Tip 3: Acknowledge what your kids are feeling even if they don’t share yours. They might feel sad or angry. Instead of trying to spin things positively, recognize that they think it's not easy. Your kids get to know that you hear them, and they get to feel understood.
✔️ Tip 4: Take care of yourself. I invite you to plan for how you want to spend your alone time. There isn't a right or wrong way to spend the holiday; it's about what feels most enjoyable and meaningful for you! Be sure to reach out to family or friends and stay connected. Please don't become a hermit and don't retreat, which is what we tend to do. ______________________________________________________________
Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
In this episode, I share the screen with Christine Pittman, the founder of COOKTheSTORY, whose passion is to create recipes that take less time in the kitchen and help women get more time at the table. As a busy single mom of two, Christine totally gets how tough it can be. She shares the wisdom after figuring things out for her own family and the transformative journey of life after Divorce.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Overcoming mom guilt and maximizing "me time". Christine shares her initial feelings of sharing custody of the children. "When you're a parent, your kids consume all of your time. Suddenly, I had moments to rediscover myself and figure out what I wanted to do with that time. And that has been the most energizing and centering thing for me.
✔️ Divorce will teach you to focus on the things you have control over. "Convenience and enough food is the priority at their dad's. For me, it's making sure to have a variety of vegetables and fruits. When I used to be so fussing about that, I think it's good for the kids to see different adults having different priorities feeding themselves."
✔️ Compromise doesn't mean caving in or giving up what's important to you. This is one of the biggest lessons you learn when dealing with your former spouse, kids, parents, and friends. You can compromise but still honour your identity, likes and dislikes, and understand how to navigate and voice what feels right to you and engage in dialogue around what will work for everybody.
Get in touch with Christine Pittman
Website: https://cookthestory.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CookTheStory
Podcast: Time Management Insider
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call.
There are so many things I wish I had known before I uttered the D-word to my now ex-husband. In this episode, allow me to impart the essential points to consider if you are mulling over the idea of separation or know that it's time to end things.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ The finance piece of divorce is the most important element. One of the things that I didn't know was that I should have contacted my financial planner before even uttering the D-word. It was an emotional decision on my part, and it wasn't something that I had prepared for. For so many of us, our divorce settlement language tends to be vague around what you and your former spouse are responsible for paying as it relates to your kids. What ends up happening is that one parent can decide whether or not to cover the support needed while the other party gets to make the tough choice to ensure that children can receive adequate care.
✔️ Co-parenting as it relates to those of us on the other side of divorce, it doesn't have to be as hard as we make it. The constant thought at the back of my mind was losing the time to be with my kids. From spending 100% of the time with them, I can no longer tuck them in bed every night. My now ex-husband wanted to co-parent, and I was not in a place to be able to do that with him because I still had so much anger, resentment and bitterness and all those negative feelings towards him that I didn't see it as a possibility. Having all those negative emotions, I was sad for my kids because that wasn't the relationship I wanted our family to have.
When I focused on myself, sought therapy, coaching, energy healing and spiritual psychology work -- I was able to come to terms with my ex as a co-parent and not of my old role as his wife.
✔️ Divorce is a gift. Choosing divorce was the wake-up call that I needed to start creating a life standing on my own two feet. Everything was hard until I decided that I needed to invest in my healing. Only then was I able to get to a place where I was transforming. I was changing my story. I was starting to forgive myself. I was accepting my circumstances, building and creating a new life for myself and my children.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Have you ever thought about how we were so invested in our previous marriages but forgot to invest in ourselves? As you go through life during and after divorce, it's time to prioritize YOU.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Divorce is definitely a kick in the butt and a catalyst for transformation. Divorce coach Julie Danielson describes her experience as a massive catalyst for her growth: "all of a sudden life is stripped away from you, and you have an opportunity to reset, rebirth and renew yourself."
✔️ So many women use that "Time heals all wounds" as an excuse not to do anything after Divorce. Julie and I are products of our painful pasts. We live to help others survive and thrive after going through their marriages falling apart. Understand that you can go fast forward and still be in the same place where there's pain, fear, disappointment, and lack of self-esteem.
✔️With coaching, you are better equipped to handle what life throws your way. If you're waiting to recover and not take action, seek help or do anything to try and facilitate that healing, you are hindering yourself from getting over divorce. Understand that time will not heal alone, but coaching will.
✔️ The information doesn't give you the transformation -- you have to apply it. You can read all books in the world and listen to all the motivational videos & podcasts, and you will still find yourself in a slump. NOT APPLYING the information you've learned or NOT INVESTING in yourself to do the work and get the tools hinders you from moving through the divorce as soon as you hope it could be.
Julie Danielson is a Certified Professional Coach through the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). She is also certified as an "Energy Leadership™ Index – Master Practitioner" (ELI-MP and a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
Julie serves on the board of Thriving Coach Academy, a coach training school that trains new coaches with the most cutting-edge tools and practices in the industry.
An avid writer, her works have been featured in many publications. Julie's article on divorce went viral in 2018 and earned her top 10 blog post with Divorcemagazine.com.
Follow Julie's podcast Get Over Divorce
and visit www.thrivingthroughdivorce.com for more information.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
The internet is brimming with different co-parenting information, forums and groups. Still, the problem is that a lot of the content can sometimes be unmonitored.
Those already struggling in their co-parenting relationships can get more frustrated and hopeless without getting expert help tailored for their unique situations.
In this episode, I will debunk three myths about co-parenting that make raising kids apart a big challenge for you.
Top points you'll discover:
Myth #1: "I need to get more information from podcasts, books and other resources to get the right co-parenting tool." This is a belief that will not serve you! It's not that you need more information, but what you need is the correct information from trusted sources.
Myth #2: "I am not trying hard enough to compromise." Talk about trying to move a mountain with the tip of your finger. Staying on your side of the fence gets tricky if you are co-parenting with an ex who has narcissistic characteristics or perhaps is a sociopath. Compromise can get difficult. Instead, what to do is to reframe what give and take means to you (especially the kids) and always find a place to meet in the middle even while you have conflicting beliefs.
Myth #3: "I need to be more firm or more loud or perhaps on the opposite side of the spectrum -- to be more quiet for things to fall into place." The co-parenting truth on this is that, unfortunately, neither will work for you. Establishing boundaries is crucial in minimizing unnecessary stress dealing with your ex. Stick primarily to the topic of your children and maintain respect to be able to work together as parents.
Ask your questions to gain clarity and access the wisdom of reliable experts on Friday, October 22nd, for the CoParenting Apart Live Zoom Event.
Register for FREE to get the Zoom link
And access to the replay!
www.coparentingsummit.com
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
There's still so much shame and guilt surrounding divorce when there doesn't have to be. In this episode, I am grateful to share the screen with entrepreneur and visionary Kimberlee Hoertz, the founder of The Graceful Exit platform. She stands by the mission of telling her own difficult experiences to help so many who are going through the same path. Discover how Kimberlee has turned her pain into purpose and how she is now supporting and inspiring women to regain their voice and start using it as they recover from their divorces.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ You have the choice to take the Graceful Exit. As a mother, as a female, as an entrepreneur, you could go down and take the vicious cycle, that horrific road in getting hostile about your ex. Some children will take the damage. It is crucial to move this harrowing experience with grace.
✔️ The question is often asked so many times, "should I keep the family home?" Kimberlee Hoertz reminds us of this when deciding about the family home as you go through a separation or divorce. "Don't lose sight that they're only four walls. You can create new memories wherever you go, as long as you feel confident in your space."
✔️ The Graceful Exit that is rooted in Kimberlee's own horrid experience. "I have found my purpose in all of it. I have found strength that I have never known before and would like to share my vulnerability to inspire others that YOUR voice matters. I have now been able to make my own graceful exit, and my hope is to share my experience and education of what I have learned."
✔️ Everybody is there for your wedding and to hold your hand through the good times, but not for divorce. Kimberlee shares, "We have this section called the Trusted Professionals, and that's where I take the time to vet through each of those people that I bring on to make sure that they align for our mission and values. Because unfortunately, through my divorce, I had to fire my lawyer at one point because they weren't in it for me. They were in it for the dollars. Referencing or referring other women to the site is part of our mission is to create this trusted professional network and a community within our network to feel confident to ask for help and support."
✔️ No matter your background, ethnicity, or financial background — an unhealthy relationship can happen to anybody. Education is vital to avoid having complicated relationships. Kimberly states, "My mission is to educate people on what is a healthy relationship or a marriage? What are the signs of a narcissist? What are the signs of abuse? Had I had some of that education before marriage, I wouldn't be in this place. So if I could go back and have that piece of it, I think it would be so powerful. I don't want anybody to go through a divorce if they don't have to. So if I can educate that younger generation, the teens, the tweens, the college-age women, perhaps they'll never get to this point. However, if you do get to it, know that there's a way out. There's joy on that other side, and that's where the graceful exit came through."
About Kimberlee Hoertz
Kimberlee is a believer, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a CPA, a realtor, a leader, and now a visionary. The founder of The Graceful Exit website, a platform for women to come together and support one another due to the tremendous sense of isolation during divorce; a network they can turn to for support and guidance.
Website: Thegracefulexit.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thegracefulexit/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.graceful.exit/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-graceful-exit/
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Surviving divorce has taught me many lessons that help me navigate through these tumultuous times. Some of what I'm going to share is not often discussed but is important for every one of you guys to know.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ My divorce taught me how much I needed to control things. Dictating on others or trying to fix what can't be fixed can get SO exhausting. We can only focus on the things that we do have control over, and that is ourselves. It's not just our actions; it's our choices, behaviors, reactions and our responses. Doing so will save you time and energy and keep you from stress and overwhelm.
✔️ My divorce taught me never to disregard my intuition. I knew for quite some time that things felt unsettled until my separation finally happened. So many times, you hear them saying, well, it's "mind over body." While the truth is the opposite, where it should be "body over mind." Your body has a reaction, and then your mind plays catch up. Start paying attention to that, and then learn how to retrain your mind to respond.
✔️ My divorce taught me who my real friends are.
I had a lot of people who were more interested in the breakup details versus my well-being. Every time I saw them, it was a continuous dig around what was going on. My kids were 7 and 10 at the time, and the last thing I needed was for them to hear stories from other people that weren't coming from their dad or me, and it was nobody else's business. That moment made me see the spectators and the real ones who genuinely reach out to give support.
✔️ My divorce taught me how to be independent. It wasn't until my 40s that I learned how to live alone, manage my finances, & make my own decisions. This forced me to take a long, hard look and assess what I like? What do I truly want? What do I desire? Such was a luxury when I was married. How many of you guys can relate to that?
✔️ The biggest piece that I learned in my divorce was my worth.
Growing up, I had consistently seen my worth through other people's eyes. As a result of my divorce, I finally saw how frickin amazing I am, how worthy I am of anything and everything that I get to create for myself. My truth is yours, too: that you are deserving of creating the desires of your heart and worthy of health, wealth and love independent of anyone else.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Is dating fatigue getting the best of you?
In this episode, lean in and listen to Connell Barrett's journey of self-discovery and living a life that he loves that started after a divorce. (He jokingly shares it was over so fast they could have fought for custody of the wedding cake!) After spending years training with the world's best relationship and self-development experts and wisdom from his own experiences, Connell is now on a mission to help men defeat loneliness and attract their soul mates as their most authentic, confident selves. He's the founder of Dating Transformation and author of "Dating Sucks, But You Don't: The Modern Guy's Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner."
Top points you'll discover:✔️ Lean into who you truly are at your core and take off the dating mask. There's one thing we all ask on a date, and it's "how can I get them to like me?" Connell posits that it's not a good question because the answer makes you someone who's seeking validation. Instead, ask a much better question to ask yourself like "HOW CAN I MAKE THIS PERSON SMILE?" or "how can we connect in a genuine place?" If your date feels that you see the real them, you have a much better chance of a fantastic romantic connection.
✔️ Dating during COVID is like the 1890s, and courtship came back. The pandemic has drastically changed the dating scene to become slower yet better. Covid encouraged people to discover emotional intimacy through communication in finding the perfect partner by listening to each other a lot more closely and connecting emotionally.
✔️ You can't connect with someone else unless you connect with your awesomeness first. Connell reminds us that as we've been through rough relationships, it is crucial to hold those truths and build a rock-solid belief system in yourself — that you are enough! You are attractive! You are a great catch! Every day, remind yourself that you are valuable and worthy, and see that your dream person will ABSOLUTELY come for you.
Connect with Connell BarrettConnell is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting business founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on his A.C.E. Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expressiveness. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine, and Today.
Website: datingtransformation.com
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Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Does Divorce Make You Happier?
A question that I get asked all the time is, are you happier after divorce or, better yet, does divorce increase your chances of happiness? My experience tells how separation in itself is definitely a tedious, painstaking process. Regardless of whose choice it was or the reasons behind it, you do have the opportunity to create a better life after divorce. In this episode, we go deep into how to be happier after divorce.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Women tend to be happier after divorce. Women are more likely than men to seek out support and community for the emotional trauma they are experiencing. Traditionally, men try to keep it close to the vest (not all, but most try to deal with things on their own with emotional upheaval.) So the amount of time they spend in suffering is prolonged, and therefore the time it takes to heal takes that much longer.
✔️ Women seek out new experiences. Activities that enrich your life and gives you a sense of hope is an excellent way to cope. If you love attending women's retreats, I host one in October in Tucson at Miraval Arizona Resort. This is a splendid way to nurture ourselves with a fantastic community.
✔️ Women are more likely to prioritize their needs. Granted, many of us put other people first. But one of the things that I know to be true is that we do put our physical health and wellness at the forefront. And sometimes, we need a reminder around that. One of my saving graces, when I was dealing with the trauma of my divorce, was running. It helps my mind sort through where I was, what I was doing, and the right direction for me.
✔️ Women have a strong sense of perseverance. Our resilience demonstrates our ability to get things done. We moms tend to take on a lot of responsibility as it relates to the home and also as it relates to our kids. And I know that when I was presented with the opportunity to be single and raise my kids, it wasn't even a question of whether I can do it right? It was a question of what gets to happen, what is it going to look like? And I relished stepping into that role and taking it head-on. We always figure it out.
✔️ Women can be comfortable in our skin being alone. When you understand that jumping into a new relationship is not the answer, what ends up happening is that you start dating yourself, rediscovering things you enjoy and are never allowed to explore.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Do you often find yourself coming back on Day 1? Are you tired of setting new goals and never taking off to achieve them? Do you get sick breaking the promises you make to yourself? We get you; this happens to so many of us. You will change your mind about food and your body in this episode as sought-after life, and weight loss coach Tanja Shaw shares the truths on what it takes to put together better habits that actually stick and finally achieve a long-term lifestyle of transformation.
Top points you'll discover:✔️ When we're fighting food and fighting ourselves, we're always going to lose. Tanja teaches her time-tested mind hacks so that you can spend your precious mental energy on loving life instead of being stuck in the cycle of disappointments and self-hate when it comes to your body and what you eat.
✔️ Motivation is not a passive process. You don't sit down and wait for it to happen. Whether it's the number on the scale you never want to see or that scare from your doctor, these motivating factors will subside unless you keep painting the whole picture of what you want to be after the process. Focus on where you're going and how great it'd feel when you nurse your body well and make better choices.
✔️ The five minutes of stretching you're going to do is better than the forty-five-minute walk you planned and didn't do. So we have to adopt this all-or-something mentality and ask ourselves, what can I squeeze in a busy and overwhelming day to take care of myself and make me feel proud?
✔️ Get clear on your big why? Yes, you want to be fit, vibrant, and healthy, but there's a measuring stick for that. On a day-to-day basis, get specific, get clear on what success looks like for you, and then make sure it's doable. You might learn after a couple of attempts what's workable and what's not. And then how can you make that habit easier for yourself? How can you make it simpler? How can you make it more fun to do?
✔️ Be honest with yourself. If you have done so many diets before, it can be tempting to go and do that next new best thing. However, you don't want to be held down by some diet plan, counting points or calories for the rest of your life and tracking everything you eat. Instead, keep focused on what works for you that is realistic, doable, and sustainable.
Connect with Tanja Shaw:Tanja Shaw is a sought-after life and weight loss coach, host of the Fit and Vibrant You Podcast, founder of Ascend Fitness + Lifestyle, a holistic health coaching studio in Chilli-wack (wack a mole), BC, and Fit + Vibrant Over 50.
Tanja has built a credible reputation for helping 1000s of women get to their happy, healthy weight permanently, naturally, and without the obsession so that they can LIVE their life.
Tanja, her husband Keith, and their son Jacob live in Chilliwack, BC, about an hour outside of Vancouver, Canada.
She loves being active outdoors, such as running, hiking, paddle boarding, mountain biking, and camping. She also loves a good cup of coffee and a glass of red wine.
Access your Free Gift from Tanja 🎁
For Women Over 50: Discover the 3 Steps that have Helped 100s of Women Achieve their Happy, Healthy Weight, Permanently and Naturally, Without the Obsession: www.fitvibrant50.com
Join the Fit + Vibrant Women Facebook Community! https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitvibrantcommunity
Connect with Wendy Sterling:Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call
When do you know that you finally need to CUT the KNOT?
Lean in and discover the signs when divorce needs to be the right option. If these signals are prevalent in your marriage, the earlier you face this and accept it, the sooner you start your healing process and the better chances you have for a more amicable relationship.
I am not advocating BUT educating people to live their best lives, and that separation is a decision that each of you gets to make for ourselves.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ What does happiness mean to you? Being in a marriage with somebody is an opportunity for you to create happiness as a couple. So ask yourself, do you wake up every morning being thankful that you are with this person? Do you come skipping through the door on your way home from work, and you cannot wait to be in this person's presence or to share with them about your day?
✔️ Think about your interactions with your partner: Are more of them negatively charged than positive? Do you find that you are fighting and fighting unfairly? Do you find yourself raising your voice, not listening and just hoping to say things more negatively, hoping that you will be heard?
✔️ Identify if good communication is happening in your relationship. Do you feel comfortable and trusting that whatever you want to talk about, you can do so in a safe place, that you can do so with somebody who's going to hear you?
✔️ Finding ways to avoid each other. Is there less communication, but a whole lot of Netflix, TV watching, or catching up with work that had to get done?
✔️ Better off as roommates. A lack of intimacy doesn't just mean sex but the absence of true connection. If behind closed doors, your life looks very different, it's time to open crucial conversations.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Have you ever thought about how YOU are the common denominator in all the relationships that didn't work in your life? Speaker and bestselling author Karen Stanley lifts the box lid and opens this idea to remind us how we must look inward and take the lessons from the pain and move on stronger from those exes in your life.
Key points in this episode:✔️ Know that no matter what hell you've gone through, you can experience lasting love—starting with yourself. Karen reminds us that we need to ask first: How do I respect myself? How do I trust myself? How do I love myself? Building your self worth first will allow you to attract someone who will love, cherish, trust and respect you.
✔️ Every single person who has been in your life teaches you something. If you focus on that, you can avoid making the same mistake with the next person and move forward.
✔️ Self-esteem and confidence often take such a hit because we tend to play the comparison game with our former partners. So take notice when the negative self-talk starts coming in, and recognize when that voice is creeping in and learn how to combat it.
✔️ Your personal evolution is beautiful as it is painful. Reinforcing new beliefs in yourself doesn't happen overnight. It's a slow, tedious process. Give yourself grace and compassion, and you will get to the person, the partner and the life you want by choosing to take the first courageous steps.
✔️ Your dreams are put into your heart because they're meant to be. If you have trouble believing that what you want to create is impossible, start journaling and discover how the universe is showing you what resonates with you in your heart. Your past does not determine your future, and get clear and put down in writing what you desire.
Connect with Karen Stanley:Karen Stanley is a marketing executive, professional speaker and author of the bestselling book Becoming Mrs Stanley. She is Amazon's #1 new release author and frequently speaks in self-improvement podcasts.
Her life's experiences paved the way for Karen to help many others. Learn her story:
"Hi, I'm Karen! I'm not a doctor or a psychologist. I was a single mom for a thousand years (OK, eight), and I finally attracted real love after divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure and repossession of my car – while raising two kids alone.
After struggling with self-worth and attracting the wrong partner time and time again, I wondered if I could use similar strategies I used in business to create a plan to build self-worth — one with easy-to-implement, actionable steps. So I did, and IT WORKED.
I believe no matter what hell we've gone through, we can experience lasting love—starting with ourselves."
Website: https://mrskarenstanley.com/
Instagram: @officialmrskarenstanley
Connect with Wendy Sterling:Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call
We were the perfect family that we were portraying to be on social media. Suddenly, it was that moment where I was lost and confused, asking what I was supposed to do when my marriage had to end. I've been with this man since I was 18 and I don't know life without him.
While I was terrified and stayed in that mindset for probably longer than I wanted to, it wasn't until I discovered the world of coaching where I could start envisioning and stepping into the life that I wanted to create. I began to see my blank slate as an opportunity— to figure out who I am instead of thinking who I am through the lens of somebody else. It allowed me to step into my power of deciding to leave corporate America, something that I had wanted to do for so many years but needed somebody's blessing to be able to do so.
All this time, my divorce was that kick in the butt that I needed to wake up and start becoming the woman I wanted to be instead of being who everybody else thought I should be.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Divorced at the age of 40: you can choose to look at it as a tragedy or an opportunity. Indeed it can be scary, but it can also be amazing that you get a redo of your life. When in discomfort, it means that growth is on the other side. Have an open mind about what is possible for you.
✔️ Wake up and become the woman you want. As I look back: I was on autopilot, miserable, and sacrificed myself. I was a horrible communicator who wasn't ever really able to verbalize how I felt and what it was that I genuinely wanted. With my divorce, misfortune became my breakthrough.
✔️ Remember, age is just a number. If you allow it to dictate what you can and can't do and associate it with being "too late", then guess what? You're going to create that for yourself.
✔️ Embrace the blank slate and pick the colors that you want your life's picture to be. It's time to stop asking permission and define for yourself what it means to be happy, carefree, and peaceful. Breed love into your home, and people will see what happiness indeed looks like on your face.
✔️ Life after marriage is something that you decide to create for yourself. If you have to get rid of your home, perhaps you have to move into a new place; it can be scary. But remember, you are home for yourself and your kids; it's not the space itself.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
Divorce is complex and traumatic to all parties involved, especially for the children. Co-parenting adds a whole other layer of challenges, especially when behavioral problems arise in children and you're not on the same page with your ex.
In this episode, I share the screen and engage in valuable conversation with Kimball Lewis, the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. Lewis shares timeless and practical parenting advice to help parents manage the most challenging child behavior problems.
Key points in this episode:✔️ Kids who act out have difficulty in problem-solving. Lewis cites these are emotional troubles dealing with frustration, anger, and issues that kids don't necessarily understand why they act out as a result. In addition, they may have functional problems and have a hard time meeting responsibilities like getting up and going to school or putting the video game down.
✔️ Blaming your co-parent for your child's behavior doesn't do your child any good. Children see themselves as an extension of both parents. So when you're blaming the other parent, you're essentially creating more issues with your kids instead of treating them as an individual.
✔️ Put accountability on your child, and they'll have a much better chance of improving. Lewis shares, "you're not responsible for your child's behavior. Your child is. If you want to keep the accountability on your child, what you're responsible for is your response to it. There are effective and ineffective responses, but don't consider the child's behavior as your fault. The child needs to be held accountable, and that's how they're going to learn to behave better."
✔️ Stop participating in an argument with your child. When your child's arguing against your rules, and you've explained yourself once, you don't have to have that argument any longer. You can say, "look, these are the rules you need to comply with, or else there will be consequences tomorrow. We can sit down for 20 minutes, and we can talk about it. We'll schedule it out."
✔️ Applying consequence is not a punishment. Instead, you're helping to train and teach your child how to behave and solve problems appropriately. Although it may not work the first time, you're going to have to keep applying these things, so if you use a consequence and then the child does it again the next day, it doesn't mean that it's not working. You have to keep applying it right.
✔️ Don't take their behavior personally. Lewis reminds this even when they swear at you because they're not solving the problems effectively, and you end up being the recipient of it. For example, they could be repeating something that the other spouse told them that they should and have no business knowing, and they'll use it against you to solve their problem, which is to get out of responsibility or out of frustration. So you can't take it personally, and you have to view it as a behavior problem.
✔️ EmpoweringParents.com provides a total transformation program called "Two Parents, One Plan" that serves as an instruction manual to help separated parents deal with defiant kids.
Connect with Kimball Lewis:Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com, the leading provider of parenting and coaching programs for parents struggling with severe defiance, constant arguing, and other behavior problems in children ages 5 to 25. This company is the home of James Lehman's The Total Transformation® child behavior program, used by over 500,000 families worldwide. Their objective is to put the knowledge of America's most respected psychologists and therapists in the hands of parents to give them not just the theory but emphasizing the "how-to" as a practical roadmap to achieve a better family life.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
For the first 40 years of my life, I believed that I could change other people because I'm Wonder Woman. And lo and behold, it took my divorce and feeling betrayed to learn that all the love in the world was not enough to change him.
Reframe what it means to go through betrayal and discover how the person you want the most can be the person that you are your best without — because the people who come into your life don't mean that they're meant to stay.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ The person you look at every day in the mirror is YOU. You don't have to wait to be in a romantic relationship to feel in love or wait for someone to start enjoying your life, do that starting today.
✔️ Stop wasting your valuable time trying to change another person because all you're doing is fighting an uphill battle or swimming upstream. How much energy are you selling to somebody who is not willing to receive it?
✔️ Remember the movie Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger, "You complete me." In the film, I bet you also had a teardrop-falling moment right there. And yet, the truth is, even in the absence of another person or a relationship, you are whole. People come into our lives to complement us, NOT complete us, to make us feel loved, or to make us feel validated.
✔️ A conscious and equal partnership is rooted in acceptance. If you feel the need to change somebody else, that person probably isn't the right person for you. A conscious and equal partnership is rooted in accepting one another, which doesn't mean that you have to be something you're not or that you have to change someone to be what you want them to be.
✔️ It can be quite challenging to understand, but things happen FOR us. Know that the right person will come for you, someone who is willing to shower you with love without you having to ask for it! Trust the universe to open and close all the doors that are meant to be opened and closed. Things happen for you to prepare for what's next and a much bigger plan to fulfill your purpose.
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Connect with Wendy Sterling:
Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
For so many of us who went through a divorce, love is something that we dream of finding again. In this episode, Dr. Holly Battey, a dating expert, matchmaker, and coach, reminds us that, after all, love is still in the cards.
Tune in as we talk about what it means to balance being selective and not being selective enough with your next relationship, what to look for and how to vet a potential soulmate, and how your future can be very different from your past.
Key points in this episode:✔️ To manifest a soulmate, you have to be your radiant best self. Finding new love requires that you have entirely accepted yourself and are willing and ready to show up differently this time. Regardless of who else is in your life or not, how you feel about yourself matters more than anything else.
✔️ Divorce was not a failed relationship when you learned the lesson. The experience can be painful and devastating, but looking at what worked and what didn't work in your significant relationships allows you to become better moving forward.
✔️ A scarcity mentality tells you to take the next best man instead of the RIGHT man. So many have experienced dating "Mr. Right Now" as opposed to "Mr. Right." And for men, there's "Ms. Right Now" instead of "Ms. Right."
✔️ The number one reason that you can't find your soulmate is that you settle. So if you truly want a long-term relationship or marriage, don't choose someone who isn't a good fit; know what to look for and be intentional about it. Know the balance between being too selective & not selective enough. You have far more power than you know in dating.
✔️ Be willing to teach men how to treat you. It doesn't have to be as complicated if you start communicating what you want and need. Men are not mind-readers, but they care. Hence, you must learn how to speak your mind and speak it authentically. Does your partner show up differently, or does he keep doing the same thing? Doing your part will leave you no regrets whether he'll rise to the occasion or not.
✔️When do you know that your love is right? When your heart, your head, and your gut are all aligned. You will come to terms that you will feel the way that you want to feel. So many people ignore how they're truly feeling out of fear of rejection or fear of not being what they want instead of setting the bar higher. So paying attention to that is vital.
Connect with Holly Battey:Dr. Holly Battey has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is hailed as a dating expert, matchmaker, coach, and image consultant for over 8 years.
She founded Find Love At Last in 2014 to help women and men find lasting love. An inspiring speaker, she empowers, advises, and speaks on image, strategy, online dating, partner suitability, communication, and commitment.
With a successful career in executive search, she helps sincere, kind-hearted, conscious single clients find the love of their dreams.
Website: www.findloveatlast.com
Connect with Wendy Sterling:Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call
Betrayal: Just hearing or reading this eight-letter word conjures up quite many emotions and beliefs within each of us. This is one of the deepest hurts that we can experience as it hits us right at the core of our ability to love and trust again.
Those of us going through the end of a relationship and having experienced deception can understand how bitterness and hurt can feel in a completely new way. Often in the aftermath of separation and living through the broken vows, we are left doubting the person who betrayed us and also questioning ourselves.
In this episode, I cover the biggest lessons learned from my healing journey and how I started seeing my divorce and betrayal as a gift and as a silver lining.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ The truth is we created every event, every action, and every circumstance that happened in our lives — including the betrayal. We took part in the outcome just as much as our spouse did. Every choice we make carries a consequence that leads to all of the painful experiences.
✔️ Betrayal can teach you to take responsibility for your own life. Now, what does that mean? It can be hard to accept, even utter those words, or to consider it a possibility. But the sooner you understand it, the sooner you begin the healing process of your heart. And I learned that everything we experience, the good, the bad, and the ugly, are created by us.
✔️ The universe will use any means necessary to get our attention. It is often through painful experiences that we awaken, and our former partners reflect the things hidden in the depths of our soul to reveal the things we need to see.
✔️ Instead of seeing your ex as the villain, understand their integral role in your story. Their part was to hold the mirror for you to see your deepest wounds and beliefs and bring out all the things you had to address and heal.
✔️ Like how a diamond's raw beauty is formed from intense heat and pressure; painful happenings can also be life's greatest blessings in disguise that will transform and empower us to achieve our ultimate purpose.
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Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/support-call-with-wendy?month=2021-07
More often than not, when people hear the word "litigation," they think of battle, war, or fighting. In this episode, I share the screen with divorce and family law attorney Evan Schein sharing his insights about the stigma around divorce litigation and how it isn't the horror stories we all read about and see on TV.
Understand why often litigation becomes necessary and how so many cases would not have settled if a judge or the court personnel wouldn't have been involved. Learn the bright sides that aren't spoken about enough, how litigation becomes necessary, and possibly have a peaceful outcome.
Key points in this episode:✔️ Reframe your mind from associating litigation being knock-down, drag-out divorce portrayed in the news or movies. Evan reminds us that it's absolutely not often the case. Litigation for many people brings structure, clarity, and accountability to a divorce process since dates and deadlines are established. A judge oversees the process, and many times, litigation often helps quickly accomplish cases settled either on the courthouse steps or in the middle of a first proceeding or shortly after that.
✔️ Consider the judge as a partner in coming up with a fair resolution. The judge spends time and effort working with you, your counsel, and the opposing side in every case to help settle what wouldn't be reached if you never went to court. Judges want nothing more than to help people transition and move forward.
✔️ Unless you have that team and the right people in place — divorce is overwhelming. So instead, get experts and people who have your best interests in mind to provide you with the information you need to make the best rational decision for your future.
✔️ Educate yourself at the beginning of the process and do your due diligence. Please do your research and talk to professionals to support yourself as you go through the divorce process regarding questions or things to ask and consider your goals and what's most important to you on the financial side.
✔️ The more you can come to an agreement with your spouse, the better and less expensive it is. Next, try to have a conversation with your spouse about your kids. Making the decisions with your children in the center is how you ultimately create the most peace in the divorce process.
Connect with Evan Schein:
Evan Schein is a New York City-based divorce and family law attorney, partner, and the Head of Litigation at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP.
During his career, he has litigated high-conflict custody cases and complex financial matters.
He has helped clients find post-divorce happiness, build successful financial lives, advocate to protect children, and fight for the rights of victims of domestic violence.
Evan is the host of the Schein On Podcast, where he talks about marriage, money, and divorce.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call
You ASK, Wendy Answers!
Question: How do you remind yourself to stop focusing on the past and putting energy into your new story?
We grew up with family, friends, and other people who helped us create many stories that we now continuously have on repeat in our minds. They have become truths that we revert to for a long time. Staying in the past can hurt us, and it is up to us to squash the negative things we have let ourselves believe that no longer serve us.
Top points you'll discover:
✔️ Pay attention to your physical body. From a happy place, all of a sudden, you feel a twinge of jealousy, frustration, anger, resentment, or fear of abandonment coming in. That's the moment you realize that your thoughts are evoking a reaction in your body from the language that is coming up inside of your head. Become more watchful as they happen so that you will be more in control.
✔️ Be mindful of what your thoughts are. Only you have the power to help yourself move on and build a life that you love after going through separation or divorce. The first most crucial step is being mindful of how you are speaking to yourself. Your self-talk can either help you or stall you from going forward. Take the time to notice your thoughts and the negative stories still on replay inside your mind.
✔️ Ask yourself, "Is this true?" Dispute your self-talk and challenge the negative thoughts that are taking space in your mental real estate. You can choose to respond and ask yourself, "Is this actually true, or is this just something I've always assumed?"
✔️ Recognize that voice is not you. That inner negative voice within you is trying to keep you rooted in the safety of your old story. You are no longer your failures and mistakes; it's time to separate the past from what is new.
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Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15...
If you are contemplating going for divorce or currently going through the process, who are the right players that you need to assemble and have on your side? In this episode, Top Lawyer in Family Law, Matrimonial, Arbitration, and Mediation, Eric Broder joins us to share valuable inputs on where to start and identify who and when to get certain professionals involved in the process — whether that be before, during, and after your divorce.
Key points in this episode:✔️ Eric posits that early on, it is necessary to get a therapist or a divorced coach, "we are not as qualified as a therapist who can get to know you in an entirely different manner and be with you when the case is over." Lawyers most often can focus on the legal side and are not fully qualified to assist you in dealing with the emotional and psychological aspects.
✔️ Be careful who you listen to. Friends and people close to you should be supportive and encouraging during the process. However, should your friends tell you about their case, or the people they know may confuse you. Remember, every case is different, and you must focus more on yours and talk to the professionals.
✔️ Remember that while a divorce is personal, it is also a business transaction. Eric shares that clients who had their cases move the fastest are the ones that decide rationally and treat it like a business transaction. "In 80 -90% of our cases, people figure out what to do with their kids and don't have many issues."
✔️You may need a real estate appraiser to come in. Many states don't recognize what a real estate broker values a house; if you cannot agree on the value of a house with your spouse, you may need a certified real estate appraiser.
✔️ Seek the guidance of parenting coordinators. They can be your fallback and prevent everyone from going to court and resolving new issues. It's much more expensive to go to court and pay your lawyers than it is to see an excellent therapist or social worker.
✔️ Other experts you may have to bring in are a business evaluator, a forensic accountant, a financial planner, and trust and estate lawyer in the three stages of the divorce process. They will help you make sound decisions and save you from spending higher costs in the future.
Connect with Eric Broder:Eric Broder is a co-founding member and partner at Broder Orland Murray & DeMattie LLC.
He is an AV Preeminent rated attorney by Martindale Hubbell®, the highest possible rating in both legal ability and ethical standards, earned through a strenuous peer and judicial review procedure.
He has also been designated a "Top Lawyer" in Family Law, Matrimonial, Arbitration, and Mediation in Westport, Greenwich, New Canaan/Darien, and Fairfield Magazines.
Eric has been selected as a Connecticut Super Lawyers® in Family Law each year from 2013 to 2020. Each year no more than 5% of the lawyers in the state are selected to receive this honor.
Connect with Wendy Sterling:Website: https://wendysterling.net/
Instagram: @divorcerehabwithwendy
Twitter: @thedivorcerehab
Facebook: @wendytsterling
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call
Co-parenting with a difficult ex can be incredibly frustrating and draining. Everything from deciding where your child will attend school, to what is an appropriate bedtime, to if their clothes match can be an uphill battle. Unfortunately, when you share custody of your children with your ex, you need to maintain communication with them, (avoiding will ultimately not help you or your child).
What can you do? Set boundaries! Setting boundaries will help to limit your frustration and, ultimately, only benefit your child’s future. In this episode, I will share 5 Tips to make co-parenting easier by sharing boundaries you get to start setting today!
Need to learn to set better boundaries? Join me beginning July 7th for BOUNDARIES 101 WORKSHOP. Learn more here!
Are you bracing yourself for a traumatic divorce and unsure where to start? The truth is, you have more control over the divorce experience than you think.
Credentialed mediator and divorce coach Paulette Rigo was inspired by her own relationship experience to find a way to help her clients stay in control and out of court throughout the divorce process.
Listen in as Paulette and I discuss the common mistakes women make during divorce and how they can make better decisions by surrounding themselves with the right kind of support. We’ll also explore Paulette’s Better Divorce Blueprint and how she’s helping women overcome fears, handle trauma, and align with the right professionals to create an empowering and safe experience.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * (9:57) Learn what happens when we trust our spouse to “do the right thing” when it comes to finances + Paulette shares the impact of placing too much trust in our partners to make financial decisions when it comes to the divorce process * (12:19) Know how to transition when your attorney isn’t a good fit + The legal process of divorce can be overwhelming. Find out Paulette’s advice for bringing in a new person to your legal team if your current attorney isn’t working out. * (14:17) Identify the seven different types of abuse + Understand the warning signs of abuse and how those experiences can impact your legal case and your life after the papers are filed.
GUEST BIO:
PAULETTE RIGO is a Credentialed Mediator, (CDC) Certified Divorce Coach, Trauma-Informed Recovery Coach, Career Transition Specialist, Book Writing Coach, Speaker, Host and Author.
Her new soon to release "Better Divorce Blueprint" the Book, Planner, Course and No Matter What card deck, Thriving in Chaos Project Podcast, Best Life Ever Private Island Retreats and Better Divorce Academy are tools she created and utilizes to help her clients create an optimal divorce experience and the new life chapter they deserve and desire.
It is Paulette’s personal 8.5 year litigated and appellant experience and expertise that makes her so skilled in allowing her clients to stay in control, stay out of court (if possible) maintain their dignity, create the right team of professionals from the early stage of contemplation to the necessary final steps of healing using practical tools, inspiration and a proven wellness model.
WEBSITE:
https://betterdivorceacademy.com/
UPCOMING WORKSHOP BEGINNING JULY 7TH!
BOUNDARIES 101
One of the few boundaries that we recognize setting is the ones with our children. And as any parent knows it is in our children's DNA to poke and test us repeatedly. They continue to push our limits and the upside to this behavior is that it enables them to learn boundaries. It is a really important skill for our children to learn because it helps teach them independence and ultimately one day to start thinking for themselves. In this week's episode, I will share the 3 reasons why our children need boundaries and to know (and respect) who the boss is.
In this episode, you'll learn how childhood trauma impacts our ability to engage with people and how it holds us back from truly having the life and love that we dream of. Riana shares 10 childhood traumas that sabotage us in life, love, relationships, and business
GUEST BIO: Riana Milne MA is a Certified, Global Life & Trauma Recovery Coach, a Certified Clinical Trauma Addictions Professional & a Certified Mindfulness Coach. She is also the host of her podcast, Lessons in Life & Love, and a Licensed Mental Health Counsellor.
Riana is the author of 'Love Beyond Your Dreams - Break Free from Toxic Relationships to Have the Love You Deserve is available from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Riana-Milne/e/B00J7CCT3I%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Website: https://RianaMilne.com
Podcast: https://LessoninLifeandLove.com Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/RianaMilne
[00:11:48] Right? Okay. So here's the first one. Your caretakers are mom and dad. Did they have any addiction? Now? I'm an addiction specialist. So I name addictions that maybe people haven't thought of, but there's drugs and alcohol sex, meaning you knew your parent was cheating, but you couldn't tell anyone porn, gambling, hoarding spending.
[00:12:11] Eating gaming TV, watching workaholism. And now I've added social media addiction. You're on the computers all the time. Ignoring your child. Okay. So that's addiction. Number two is verbal abuse. Now you could have watched them. Mommy they're fighting and yelling. They could have been yelling at you quite a bit in the household.
[00:12:34] It also includes verbal slights or put downs, like change that outfit. You look fat in that, you know, something like that, or never hearing compliments like way to go kiddo on proud of you or even hearing the words I love you. So verbal is quite important as we go through the other, uh, outcomes. Number three is emotional abuse or neglect.
[00:12:59] Number four is physical abuse, rape or molestation, and these could have happened inside or outside of the home. So you can add a perfect home life, but you go for school and you got beat up every day, going to school. That's an issue. Okay. The next one is a pretty important one too. That's based around the abandonment and I identify faults and no faults abandonment.
[00:13:22] So I know false abandonment would be if a parent happened to die early. If they go, went off to war or, and believe me, we working in the schools as a trauma counselor, my little elementary kids who are we're just so blanked out, they couldn't study, they couldn't learn. Cause they're just so worried is my mom and dad going to come home alive.
[00:13:42] So military kids have a lot of trauma ongoing in their mindset. Um, it also could be a parent that travels a lot. Um, and that's how they supported the family. And I could identify with that when I'm like, oh my gosh. I remember now asking my mom as a little [00:14:00] kid. Where's dad and when's he coming home? And my mom would never know much later in life.
[00:14:05] We found out my dad was CIA FBI. You can't tell your family where you are and what you're doing. But as for a child that was very unnerving because I was very close to my dad. I was always wondering if he's okay, but that's how he supported the family. Okay. So that's a no fault, a fault abandonment. It would be never being in the child's life, being in the child's life until the couple stays together.
[00:14:28] When. Because it breaks up. They're pretty much gone and they're gone emotionally and physically. And the third one is that parent may be still in their house, but emotionally they're absent. So they're not spending time with a child. They don't go there. Athletic games or art shows. They're just not stepping up.
[00:14:46] They're just not that involved or concerned with the kids. So that's an emotionally checking out. Okay. The next one is being part of adoption, being adopted part of the foster care system. Or needed to [00:15:00] live in another person's home because your parents couldn't keep you at that house. They lost their house.
[00:15:05] They couldn't afford to have you with them. Okay. Trauma number seven is one of the ones that people recognize the most. We call this personal trauma that when I could identify, it's like, yes, I was skinny and gawky and I was teased in middle school horribly. Okay. So anywhere you felt different, you could have been an overweight and chubby child called the nerd.
[00:15:29] Um, You could have had a medical issue like asthma. So you had to walk around with a inhaler and you couldn't go to the sports and sit down with Jim. You could have been identifying as LGBTQ and you were afraid to say anything or people teased you because you were different. It could have been racial.
[00:15:46] You might've been an African-American and a primarily all white school and they just didn't accept. You didn't feel the same. So there could be so many different things wrapped around trauma. Number seven, you just didn't feel good enough fit in or feel [00:16:00] worthy for some reason. Trauma number eight is sibling trauma.
[00:16:04] Most often this one is when you identify your sibling as being the golden child, they were favored. For some reason, they could have been more handsome or beautiful, the athletic star, uh, the better student, um, or they could have bullied. You. And another reason is I could have been born with the medical issue that commanded more of moms and dads time.
[00:16:27] And they were with them more than you. And you felt slighted now, trauma number nine. This is one that everyone can relate to today. So this is one of your 10 going on right now. It's called community trauma and under community trauma is our reactions to COVID. Okay. This is a packing everyone around the world.
[00:16:46] Think about our little people that can't go to school, have to wear mask can play with friends. Don't know if their mom and dad are going to get sick. Are they going to die? You know, all these frightening. Things traumatic [00:17:00] statements on the news, um, that are impacting us every day. So whether an adult or a child, we're all going through this community trauma.
[00:17:09] Now, other community traumas are floods, fires, mudslides. Uh, our mass shootings are school shootings. A tack on our Capitol. I mean, us watching that in America was like, oh my God, are we serious right now? This is happening in our world and our country. So anything affecting the community and this is getting worse and worse and worse as time goes on.
[00:17:34] I'm a baby boomer. So when I was growing up, we barely had community trauma. It was in the later list because there are more than 10 traumas. But I had to bring it down to trauma. Number nine, now trauma. The other part of trauma number nine is family trauma. So now let's think of all the families impacted by people being laid off stores and businesses.
[00:17:53] Closing no income kids afraid if they're going to have. Or the, the [00:18:00] bill, you know, the lights are going out off or they don't have heat or air conditioning. All these are happening today. Right? Other family traumas, living in a dangerous neighborhood. You're afraid of that. The military families move every two to four years that puts the child in a new school every time.
[00:18:18] Uh, if you have an incarcerated parent, So there's a lot around the family trauma piece, lack, monetary lack, and that went impacts a lot of people in business decisions. If they've come from that statements of lack. And then in trauma, number 10 is any mental health issues in mom or debt. Now, baby boomers, we often did not see our parents going to counseling.
[00:18:43] It rarely existed. So we kind of have to guess. The two most difficult mental health is, um, bipolar and borderline personality disorder is, are the toughest for children to negotiate. So borderline [00:19:00] I describe it as fast trigger anger. You never know what you're going to get when they're bad, they're really horrid, but then they have really good moods too.
[00:19:09] So the moodiness is all over the place and it keeps a child in a very anxious state. Bipolar is the other one, which is manic depressive. Depression shows up as extreme exhaustion, um, checking out emotionally or even anger when you're depressed and a manager. Face could be a gambling spree, eating binge spending spree when you don't have money.
[00:19:33] Um, and then that adds to all the anxiety around watching these manic behaviors. And even as a child, you know, like why is she buying that we don't even have money to eat? You know? So is
[00:19:48] WENDY: [00:19:48] alcohol a part of that too, with the manic side of depression?
[00:19:51] RIANA: [00:19:51] Well, any type of addiction, compulsion acting out, but that usually would go under trauma.
[00:19:57] Number one, if there's addiction in the house. Yeah.
00:20:00] WENDY: fascinating. I like as you're going through and I'm sure everybody listening too. I'm like, is that one me? Is that one me? Oh, that one's me. Okay. That one's me. That's right. So, so talk to me a little bit about like, people obviously were just going through the exercise that I just went through.
So once we've identified, which of the top 10 traumas we've experienced? Then what
[00:20:25] RIANA: then what? Well, if they are, my clients are coming to me for a discovery session, I do that in one hour. I give them four assessments, five assessments, actually, we go through all of them and then I look at the severity levels.
[00:20:38] Well, do you remember getting punished with about. Weiss. And that was pretty bad. What number would you give that one to 10? Well, they might say maybe a four, you know, and then there's other people that say, why come home every day to a beading and that's a 10. So we have to do the severity levels of where they felt they feel on that scale.
[00:20:58] And then once we got that, now we go into, if they signed up to coach with me, we start with healing, the trauma first. Creating that life dream that they have, like, what do you want in your life? And let's get rid of the trauma. That's holding you back, keeping you stuck in fear, negativity, self doubts, raise your self esteem, raise your confidence, give you the mindset for success tools.
[00:21:24] And when we've got all that for my singles, when they're feeling really great about who they are. They are the life they want. They cleaned up any financial, legal problems. They've got a good relationship with their kids. Their kids aren't angry anymore. We work with all of that. Then they get the dating and love piece.
[00:21:41] What does the emotionally healthy, evolved and conscious relationship look like? And part of it is really understanding the 10 traumas in themselves and in another. So just even on your first or second date, my clients have like 25 questions that does he just casually ask. Okay. And they know, yes, this person is healed or this person by good luck and God bless.
[00:22:04] I'm moving on to the next one. So you learn to identify early, what's emotionally healthy and what's not. And why the why's the most important part. Um, but you should know how this plays out. Like what are the characteristics that come up, right. If you had this or you see this in your X, so those are that you that are divorced and moving on from that look.
[00:22:28] That the singer X and see how many of these they had. Okay. So one is lying and manipulation. Where'd that come from? Let's take a little boy that had a very strict, angry punishing father, and this kid was supposed to get all A's and B's and he came home with a. F on his report card. He tried to change it to an a, because they had avid sign.
[00:22:49] It's like, oh my God, that works. So he learns to become an expert liar and manipulator because otherwise, if he didn't, he would've gotten beat for childhood things that kids do. Right. And these parents want their kids to be perfect. And if they don't, they get beat. So they learn lying as a survival tool.
[00:23:10] Right. It's a coping mechanism. Okay. Let's talk about jealousy and control that when comes, if you had trauma number seven and trauma number two, which were those verbal messages that were punishing or put downs, leaving you, not feeling worthy enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, whatever. And you're jealous because you think that partner who's so great is going to go after someone else, even though he's doing all the right things consciously he's okay.
[00:23:39] Calling you and he's texting you and he says, he loves you. All those things are great, but you still have this underlying fear that there's going to be somebody else. Okay. Let's talk about men who cheat. Why are they cheap? They usually looking for adoration. They go to had a bad relationship with their mom, also trauma number seven, trauma, number two, they didn't feel good enough.
[00:24:03] They might've been a chubby kid. Some know like them now that they grew into the man and they're kind of handsome. They want women to adore them. Now I see a lot of dynamic. I get a lot of women successful in business, but struggle in love. And this one happens a lot. They might go for that charm, enhance some guy, but is not on her success level.
[00:24:25] And initially these relationships they're very attentive. They're loving, they'll do anything for you. And then four months to nine months in the research shows, as soon as things start getting serious. Is going to start controlling you or asking you to make love. And he's like, well, I got an eight o'clock meeting.
[00:24:43] I can't be late. Oh, come on, come on. And they try to convince you. And you know, so they're starting little by little to whittle away at your power and control that you have for yourself and in the workplace. Just to step up. I mean, if you ladies have seen dirty John or, and if you haven't, you should see it on Netflix.
[00:25:02] It is the classic example of someone with childhood trauma who became a sociopath and what sociopath's do. And he actually became psychopathic in the end. And the differences are psychopath is a sociopath, um, and narcissists who kills. A sociopath is someone who uses someone for pleasure or profit and lifestyle.
[00:25:25] So if you are earning more than that, man, and initially they seem like the great partner. You could be better. Be careful if they're an underlaying, if they're not as successful as you, they could be sociopathic and wanting your life and trying to do everything to win your love and attention. But these are probably going to be toxic over time.
[00:25:46] So you have to be super careful on that. Um, so that's where jealousy and control comes from. And sociopathy people pleasing is something a lot of women do. They let's take a [00:26:00] woman that had a difficult mom, let's say she was an alcoholic. So she, as the older sister used to get the siblings ready for school and out to the bus stop and do all the morning chores instead of the mom, because the mom was hung over and was grouchy and angry in the morning.
[00:26:15] So she overdid and she learned if she did that, she received love back. And compliments, thanks Han for taking care of the kids or whatever. Um, so she learned this as a coping mechanism. It became normalized. And then I see these couples later, whether a woman says I don't get it. I do everything for him and my kids.
[00:26:36] And nobody shows me the kind of love and respect that I give to them. And their boundaries are so stretched doing, doing, doing to get love back. Right. And again, this is all unconscious. It all comes from, you know, uh, these behaviors that became so normalized abandonment issues. If you have abandonment issues in your life, this is where we see love addiction, [00:27:00] codependency.
[00:27:01] And the repetitive breakups cycle of toxic people and the research shows if you're in a toxic relationship and toxic attracts toxic, okay. That's how they get together. Then, um, they go back and forth, breaking up, making up over and over again, seven times until the healthier partner says I can't stand this anymore.
[00:27:25] This is ridiculous. You know, the person sway heirs are got changed. They changed it's usually 10 days is the average. The things are good. And then it gets stocks like again, and we call that the cycle of abuse or cycle of toxic relationships. Um, perfectionism by the way, I mean, yeah, isn't it perfectionism wanting your partner to be perfect.
[00:27:50] Um, these are the guys that want that perfect woman by their side. Even if they're not, they want that size for a woman with a per perfect skin and [00:28:00] hair and dress. And why? Because they got no attention as kids. So they're using again, that woman to be the it couple. And, you know, God forbid you go up a dress size.
[00:28:11] They're all over you. But the controlling and jealous man will change the way you dress. Right? So none of them are good, a blaming behavior. They never take responsibility. It's always your fault or not willing to talk to you. Passive aggressive behavior. Where's that come from? In other words, they shut down.
[00:28:30] They won't talk through an issue. There'll be mad at you and put you into the silent treatment for two days. Um, that comes. From they learned as a kid. If I speak up and say, what's on my mind or my feelings about it, I'm going to get whacked across the face. So they totally shut down. That is their coping skill.
[00:28:49] Right? So these men have a hard time, uh, talking about their feelings. So there's so many, those are just a few
[00:28:58] WENDY: I literally could sit here and listen to you all day. I, this is so fascinating because it's like, what happens, right. If people don't, what I love about what you're sharing is that, I mean, I don't know about everybody listening, but you to past relationships and even my ex-husband I'm like.
[00:29:15] Oh, my God, this makes so much sense now. Or, or this person I broke up with that I was dating. Thank God. I broke up with him because you know, oh, M G right. So yes. So how can somebody start stepping into the healing process of this? Right, because I imagine that if they don't do the work, right, I say this in divorce.
[00:29:36] If you don't do the work, you're going to just keep duplicating. That's right.
[00:29:40] RIANA: You're going to keep duplicating these types of relationships. You're going to keep attracting the same type. And that's what everyone that comes to me. It's like, oh my God, I've had the same type of person over and over again.
[00:29:51] What's the matter with me. And like I said, I get their point of frustration. I was there in their shoes. Right. So it's a huge learning. Curve. Right. And you're not just going to go out and pick up a self-help book and get this. No, this is all based on psychological research. So I describe it like a rainbow, your start at the place where you don't know what you don't know, and that's perfectly fine.
[00:30:13] We do the deep dive into the childhood. Trauma piece and recognize how your traumas are impacting you now, what you're attracting into your life and why then we have to rewrite the story. We have to do some reparenting. We do capping, and then we do a lot of holistic things. I do vitamin therapy for my people meditation.
[00:30:34] None of my people are on anti, um, psychotropic drugs, like, uh anti-anxiety or anti-depression meds. No, my people are all for those. Once we get started, there's only 33% success rate there. Rest is placebo and the side effects are bad. So I do everything holistically. I haven't looked at your diet right.
[00:30:53] Everything right. Your space that you're living in, I check everything. So it's a learning [00:31:00] curve. And as you do better and you're feeling better about your life, you're going up the rainbow, but then you're going to slip and then you'll go up. But then you slip and people are like, well, what is the slippage?
[00:31:08] Why do I have to slip? And it's because the unconscious is so strong. Most people just act without thinking. That's the unconscious in control. So what I'm teaching you with the mindset for success is to have total conscious awareness, 24 seven before you speak, right? Anything texts, anything these thoughts go through your mind and you've learned to slow down the anxious thoughts.
[00:31:36] Now all my people with childhood trauma usually have ongoing anxiety. That's one of the ways you can identify yourself. Like if you're always feeling anxious all the time, that's a sign. There's a lot of internal healing to do because trauma stays stored in the brain and the body cells and all my trauma education to become certified as.
[00:31:58] The professional was saying that trauma recovery is about six months long. Right? So we have to do the practices of all these different techniques and what person a gets is going to be different than person B and person C. And it's very individualized because nobody came from the same environment. Or the same story, right?
[00:32:20] So I have to work with you to put your individual puzzle together. And the cool thing is with this workbook I put together that's 150 pages. How you answer is how I then teach you to do the things that you need to do to change, heal, and grow and transform. So it's all back and forth interactive like a team.
[00:32:42] Yep. Yeah. And that's why I love coaching versus counseling, you know? Yeah. I've been a licensed mental health counselor for 21 years, but my people have texts access to me. If they need me, boom. They can reach me because I understand the state of trauma. That they need help. So it's a, like a coach in your pocket for six months.
[00:33:03] It's a very different approach to healing growth and creating the life you desire. And that's what my people do. And then when they go out dating, they're ready, they're feeling amazing. They know that they're the whole package. They know all the dating do's and don'ts. Trust me. I armed them with all of that.
[00:33:21] The questions to ask who is emotionally healthy and who's not. And why. Yeah.
[00:33:27] WENDY: everybody listening, you hear me say this all the time. You hear every guest that comes on my show, say this, you've got to do the work. And you've got to do the work with somebody who knows what they're doing.
[00:33:37] Right. You've got to do the work before you start moving forward with it. What your next life looks like and, oh my goodness. Brianna, thank you so much for being here. I'd love for you to just leave our audience with one final tip, um, that we maybe haven't gotten to yet to, to help them in this process.
[00:34:00] RIANA: Sure for singles. I always say, be who you want to attract. So before you go out there dating, if you know, you have some things you have to work on, invest in yourself and do that first, do not be dating because you might meet a fantastic guy that says, whoa, She, I don't like her energy. She's too negative.
[00:34:19] Right? So the first who you want to attract for singles, so important, get the skills that you really need, which is psychology spirituality. There's a whole lot of edge that you need to compete in single world. So get that first couples, if you're in a relationship and you're not sure if you're going to stay or go, um, You sign up first.
[00:34:42] And I have a married man right now that says she doesn't want to do it. And I don't know if I want to stay in this marriage. We've been in counseling for a year together and it's getting worse. And I'm about to tell her to leave my house. And I said, Then you do it, not a problem. So I'll call him bell.
[00:34:59] And on the third session she says, oh, you know, she's here. And she just wants you to know, thank you. You have been changing so much already. And by the fifth session, he goes, I feel better than I ever had in my life. She actually came on to me for the first time in two years with some intimacy and sexual advances.
[00:35:18] Why before he was pushing at her, he was lazy. He was watching too much TV. He wasn't working like he was, he wasn't shaving. He smelled. And he even admitted by the second session, he goes, oh my God, I'm the narcissist. I thought all the problems were her. But, and I said, good for you. Great. For that insight, he goes, oh, I'm this I'm that?
[00:35:39] And I said, no, no, no, no. Don't put yourself down. These are just outcomes from what you experienced from a very critical toxic mother. Right. So now let's just heal those things. Right. So, you know, you start, if you're in a couple of relationship and if they don't want to, it doesn't matter. Now he's happier than ever.
[00:35:59] She's attracted. Their marriage is taking off and she goes, I can't believe this is working. We've been in a year for therapy and. This is your fifth session.
[00:36:08] WENDY: Wait a minute. And this is the power of, of what you do, right? This is a power. I believe the power in just coaching overall, right. Is, you know, I, I'm a huge proponent of therapy.
[00:36:18] I think therapy is important for many reasons. And at the same time, there's other ways that you also get to heal that address other issues that therapy doesn't necessarily. Well,
[00:36:30] RIANA: [00:36:30] as I learned, we don't learn this in our college prepar that ration for our licenses. We don't get it now. So most therapists will not know how to go deep with this top.
[00:36:41] Yeah. Just because we didn't get it. Exactly.
The best way to start on your divorce recovery path to regain confidence and self-esteem is to start focusing on and get connected to the things that have value to you and fill your cup.
And it is easier than you think! In this episode, I am going to share 3 tips on how to start on your path to rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem because it isn't as hard as you think! In fact, it is easy once you start. So let's get you moving and building that muscle today!
FREE DIVORCE RECOVERY SUMMIT BEGINNING JUNE 7TH! LEARN MORE HERE!
Are you holding back on deciding on a divorce because you're afraid of what financial independence might look like?
Financial expert Stacy Francis has a passion for helping women who feel financially trapped in relationships and has powerful advice to help assess and make financial decisions throughout the divorce process.
In this episode, Stacy and I discuss the common financial mistakes women make when transitioning out of a relationship and the key things everyone needs to know about finances before, during, and after divorce. We'll also share resources to help you feel empowered and ready to take the first step to create your long-term plan for financial stability.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Take the fear out of your financial future
Stacy shares her best tips for assessing your current financial situation and things to consider when creating a plan for moving forward
- Learn how money impacts the decisions we make
Financial assets influence more choices than you realize. Learn the first thing you should do financially when facing divorce and how it sets up your future decisions
- Avoid mistakes when dividing assets
Thinking you want to keep the house? Learn why that decision may not serve you and other things to consider when looking at your current assets
GUEST BIO:
Stacy Francis is the CEO & President of Francis Financial a fee-only Financial Management, Financial Planning, and Divorce Financial Planning firm dedicated to providing ongoing comprehensive advice for successful individuals, couples, and women in transition such as divorce or widowhood. She is a Certified Financial Planner® (CFP®) and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) with over 20 years of experience in the financial industry.
Stacy is also the founder of Savvy Ladies™, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating and empowering women to take control of their finances. She is a nationally-recognized financial expert featured on CNBC’s Digital Financial Advisor Council, the Forbes Finance Council, Kiplinger, and The Wall Street Journal. Stacy is the host of Financially Ever After, a podcast focusing on women, money, and divorce. She is also the author of the white paper, Unveiling the Unspoken Truth: The Financial Challenges Women Face During and After Divorce.
https://francisfinancial.com/
https://twitter.com/FrancisFinance
https://www.facebook.com/FrancisFinancialInc/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/francisfinancialinc/
Does your morning routine set you up for the rest of your day?
It's natural to feel rushed and overwhelmed in the mornings, especially while transitioning out of relationships or going through hardship. However, you might blame that overwhelming feeling on being "busy" or not being a "morning person" might be lifted by empowering yourself to create a customized morning routine.
In this episode, I'm breaking down my morning routine and how it has positively impacted my life. We'll discuss the core components of a routine and how making a commitment to change the first few hours of your day can improve your mental and physical health.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Stop feeling scrambled in the morning + Listen to how I broke my routine into individual parts to set intentions around my time. * Learn how to embrace silence + Understand the benefits of sitting in silence and learn how the practice helps you focus on what you want most. * Set the tone for how you want to feel + Routines are critical for putting intention behind your feelings. Learn how your commitment to a consistent routine can change everything.
Did you know there are unconscious patterns that are preventing you from having the love you want?
Melanie Hersch is a psychotherapist-turned-dating-coach that understands the power of limiting beliefs and how they can stop you from connecting authentically and attracting the kind of relationships you desire.
In this episode, Melanie and I define the most common limiting beliefs that are blocking your intimacy and how to identify and heal your own subconscious beliefs that are holding you back. We'll explore what intimacy means, why women struggle with creating intimacy in any relationship, and why getting uncomfortable is necessary for growth.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Learn how to identify limiting beliefs
Understand the definition of a limiting belief and how they show up in your daily thoughts and actions.
Identify the difference between compatibility and intimacy
While working together on an external level is important to any relationship, learn how to focus on the internal intimacy of a relationship.
Get uncomfortable to experience growth
Address the negative thought patterns that you are holding onto and why they are important to let go of to grow and nurture yourself.
Guest Bio:
Melanie Hersch is a psychotherapist turned dating coach who teaches singles how to rewire the unconscious patterns that have been preventing them from having the love they want. Melanie believes that dating and relationships are some of the most powerful catalysts for personal growth. Her approach isn't focused on how to 'get' the person you want... but on how to become the person who easily attracts love in.
Melanie blends psychology, spirituality, and energetics to help her clients increase their self-esteem, know their worth, and easily attract healthy love into their lives! Her work has been featured in Oprah's O Magazine and in Psychology Today.
https://www.goodatyou.com/ https://www.instagram.com/melaniehersch/ https://www.facebook.com/goodatyou/
Having good communication starts with the ability to listen.
When it comes to speaking with our exes, it’s easy to slip into fear-based thinking that leaves all parties feeling frustrated and unheard.
In this episode, I’m breaking down the top five ways conscious listening can help you build stronger communication with your ex and improve your confidence and mindset when it comes to making your own needs known. We’ll explore how fear impacts our ability to listen, how to identify when you’ve stopped listening, and when nonverbal communication skills are critical to understanding
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Identify when you’re ready to start listening to your ex + Many factors contribute to poor communication during the divorce. Learn how past events leave us feeling hurt, angry, or resentful, and how those feelings impact our ability to communicate today. * Understand how listening can improve your relationship + Learn how I saw my relationship with my ex reached new growth levels after slowly building trust over time. * Clarify the difference between the stories we tell ourselves and the conversations with others + Understand how fear can create new stories in our minds that have less to do with the people in our lives and more about the fear and resentment we’re holding onto.
Does processing your divorce feel like you’re constantly navigating life in the dark?
Often after a divorce when we seek out ways to start the healing process, it can feel like no one understands. That feeling leaves people thinking that if there are no options out there to heal from the experience we weren’t meant to heal at all, and Elizabeth Cohen is here to help.
In this episode, author, psychologist, and community creator Dr. Elizabeth Cohen shares the lessons she learned after dealing with her own divorce from her ex-husband due to substance abuse. We discuss everything from the fear and judgment that comes with telling your story to others to flipping the script and shining the spotlight back on yourself. If you’re feeling lost and unfocused while on the road to healing from divorce, you should listen to this episode.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Learn how to recognize and correct your inner dialogue
The stories of our past derail our progress forward. Listen to the stories you’re telling yourself and empower yourself to create your next best life.
Understand the difference between feelings and facts
Being able to separate reality from how we feel can help to ease the pain, shifting things into a new perspective.
Get reacquainted with yourself
When relationships end we realize that somewhere along the way we may have lost what makes us, “us.” Learn how to explore what it means to be you and how that feeling fits into your new normal.
Guest Bio:
Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist. She is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce and the CEO of the Center for CBT in NYC. Dr. Cohen’s online course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast, and Good Housekeeping.
Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column.
Dr. Cohen hosts the Divorce Doctor podcast where she interviews people about their divorce experiences.
Website: https://drelizabethcohen.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElizabethCohenPhD
REGISTER FOR WENDY'S CO-PARENTING WORKSHOP! BEGINNING MAY 5TH.
Does the idea of working with your ex to establish a co-parenting schedule fill you with dread?
Dealing with divorce while nurturing and raising children can be complicated. It requires patience, compassion, and open communication in order to create the stability children need.
Understanding how to communicate with your ex about issues regarding your children includes establishing boundaries and taking responsibility for your part in the divorce as well as your contribution to the co-parenting partnership.
In this episode, I’m sharing the most important things you should consider when entering into a co-parenting relationship and the key things you need to know in order to manage your expectations of your co-parenting team.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Learn how to avoid bringing pain into your co-parenting relationship
- Understand how you can avoid bringing past experiences with your ex into your current co-parenting situation and keep the children the focus of your communication.
Understand the value of your family as a support system
- Recognize the people you need in your life to work through the pain and frustration of divorce without complicating your co-parenting situation
Reinforce boundaries in the way you raise your children
- Adjusting to a new co-parenting schedule can be complicated, but establishing and enforcing boundaries allow you to catch yourself before heading into an argument and keep communication open.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BECOME A BETTER CO-PARENT? REGISTER FOR MY CO-PARENTING WORKSHOP BEGINNING MAY 5TH. LEARN MORE!
Do you feel isolated and in need of connection after divorce? You’re definitely not alone.
Choosing who we spend time with after divorce is an intentional choice that requires us to first look at what we truly want and how we want to spend our time.
In this episode, Divorced Over 40 creator Daniel Herrold shares his journey to creating a community for divorced individuals. During this conversation, we dive into the importance of connection and why so many people start dating too soon after divorce when what they’re truly looking for is a tribe.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Learn the impact of community on your emotional recovery
During this interview Daniel shares the moment he realized the importance of community and how those connections helped him do the emotional work of divorce.
Understand how the divorce process differs between women and men
Daniel discusses how men process emotional needs post-divorce and we explore how processing may look different but come to the same positive result.
Challenge yourself to have tough conversations
Think about the questions you should be asking yourself when dating potential partners in order to avoid difficult situations later.
Guest Bio:
Daniel is the Co-Creator of DivorcedOver40, an online community of divorcees in their 40's & 50's, as well as a dad to 3. Daniel enjoys helping others find joy in their independence and self-discovery over 40 by providing content & creating a community for this age group.
Website:
www.divorcedover40.com
Have you ever watched a movie montage with a recently divorced woman and wondered why you couldn’t be more like the leading lady and just buy a new outfit and get over it?
Hollywood, the media, and American culture make it seem like divorce is a linear process, but if you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while now, you know things aren’t that simple.
There are several uncomfortable truths that we as a society need to face about the process of divorce, including the fact that it is a process and there is no “right” amount of time to go through each stage.
In this episode, I’m revealing 10 ways that divorce can impact your life, relationships, and mindset. I’m diving into everything from finding the right support system to letting go of friendships that no longer serve you. If you’ve asked yourself more than once “is this normal?” this podcast episode is for you.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: Learn the emotional process of divorce
Identify the emotional process of grief involved with divorce and the importance of allowing yourself to experience all of the emotions created by the loss of your relationship.
Embrace changes in your relationships
Adjusting to life post-divorce involves changing your relationship with friends and your kids. Address the fact that divorce is a disruptor and identify ways to rise to the occasion and strengthen the relationships most important to you.
Create and enforce boundaries
Establishing new and healthy boundaries is essential for processing emotions and trauma associated with divorce. Learn how to initiate those boundaries and how they serve you.
How do you know when you’re truly ready to start dating again?
According to dating and relationship expert Bella Gandhi's research, 48% of Americans are single and ready to mingle. That means there’s ample opportunity for finding love after divorce, but before we start swiping right there are a few things to consider.
Working through the internal issues associated with self-worth and divorce are critical for success in your next relationship. There can be a lot of fear with joining the dating world, not only with the possibilities that a new relationship can bring, but managing the responsibilities of technology and safety as well.
In this episode Bella and I discuss the important questions you should ask yourself before downloading that dating app, and how to avoid some of the common mistakes that people make when making their return to the dating scene.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Figure out how to stop falling into old patterns + Bella has some great advice for identifying and stopping the pattern of returning to relationship patterns that no longer serve us, as well as how to embrace the uncomfortability of positive change. * Overcome the fears of technology and dating + Learn how to share information and market yourself in a way that feels honest, safe, and positive. * Identify what to look for in a new love interest + Understanding what you want from a relationship is critical for your overall happiness. Listen to the key questions you should ask yourself when looking for a new potential partner.
FREE Divorce & CoParenting Summit Starts April 13th, 2021
Visit CoParentingSummit.com for details!
GUEST BIO:
Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, and a weekly media correspondent.
She is a relationship expert and has been featured on most national/local media outlets. She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009.
Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation's top date coaching firms - and teaches busy, successful professionals to jump-start& their dating lives successfully.
Smart Dating Academy is described by its clients “like going to Harvard Business School, but for dating and relationships”.
https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/
Instagram: @smartdatingacademy
Twitter: @BelaGandhiLove
One of the hardest things I had to do in the divorce process was to look at myself in the mirror and take responsibility for how I spoke to my now ex-husband.
There are profound lessons to be learned when we face the past and begin the journey of forgiveness, starting with ourselves. The weight of our past pushes against what’s possible for the future, making it nearly impossible to embrace new opportunities.
Have you considered what the cost will be if you don’t forgive yourself? Once we pause and understand the true value of self-compassion, we’re better able to understand the urgency in facing our mistakes and moving forward.
In this episode, I’m sharing the power of self-forgiveness and the simple questions you can ask yourself to remove the weight of the responsibilities you’re carrying, making room for love and compassion in your life.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Understand how to deal with anger from past choices + It’s a natural instinct to turn away from feelings of anger and resentment that surface from the memories of past mistakes. When we embrace that pain and work through it, we’re learning the process of letting go, making room for better things. * Learn the difference between condoning behavior and accepting what happened + Part of our resistance to forgiving others is getting wrapped up in the idea that by letting it go we’re condoning what they did. Learn the process of working through past events and maintaining clear boundaries of behavior you will condone in the future. * Find out how self-compassion can make you kinder to others + True happiness begins with ourselves. Learn the questions I asked myself to get to the bottom of the pain I was holding onto and how focusing on treating myself with kindness created a more authentic version of myself.
DIVORCE & CO-PARENTING SUMMIT, STARTING APRIL 13TH, 2021. LEARN MORE.
Do you feel like you and your ex treat parenting as a competitive sport?
Nurturing and supporting children while going through a divorce can be difficult, but creating mutual understanding and respect between us and the other parent is critical for a peaceful transition from one household to two.
What does the ideal co-parenting situation look like? Who should have the final say in where and how our children live?
Before we’re able to create a plan that works for all members of the family, it’s important to agree upon and define what co-parenting looks like to everyone involved.
In this episode, Karen Bonnell discusses her nearly 30 years of experience helping families transition into co-parenting plans that cultivate child-centered parenting.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode: * Understand the true definition of co-parenting + While getting along is always ideal, co-parenting focuses on respect, clarity, and mutual understanding. * Parenting doesn’t have to feel like a competition + It’s important to teach our children to communicate their needs to both parents and to avoid leaning into behaviors that establish an “alliance” attitude. * Taking time to learn how to solo parent is normal - and encouraged + It’s okay to give ourselves a little room to learn how to navigate parenting on our own terms. Part of co-parenting is having confidence in our own decisions and empowering our children to make their needs known. Those skills don’t evolve overnight and might take a little practice - time is essential to mastery.
A graduate of the University of Michigan, Karen has been board-certified and licensed as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner since 1982 and served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984.
Karen’s work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write “The Co-Parenting Handbook” “ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist.
Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.
Karen also created “The Parenting Plan Workbook” with contributor Felicia Malsby Soleil, JD to provide valuable access to the mechanics behind writing a strong, child-centered parenting plan.
And most recently, Karen and Patricia Papernow (PAP-ER-NOW), PhD released the newest handbook for parents ready to date and hoping to one day successfully create a stepfamily, “The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a ‘Blended Family’”.
Her deep listening skills make all the difference working with co-parent pairs in conflict as they find their way through the pain of divorce into a future with optimism.
Karen's website: CoachMediateConsult.com (she has two free downloads there)
Twitter.com/Karenbonnellcmc
linkedin.com/in/karenbonnell/
facebook.com/karenbonnellcmc
When it comes to divorce, emotions are at an all-time high. Living in that emotional survival mode makes every conversation carry the potential of sparking a negative reaction from one party or the other.
When is the last time you had an immediate reaction to something your ex said and you regretted it later? Often those instant reactions to sensitive topics can be spoken without thought to the long-term effects of our words.
Learning the difference between a response and a reaction allows us to practice a habit of taking back our power when it comes to our emotional well-being and our decision-making.
In this episode, I’m revealing the strategies you need to know to make a habit of responding vs. reacting to negative conversations.
Co-parenting comes with its challenges, and it can be especially tricky when we’re not always in agreement with our ex’s parenting style. However, by creating a sense of detachment between our approach and theirs, we can make the process a lot easier on everyone involved.
However, staying neutral can be easier said than done. Is there a quick-fix for staying objective, even when we would love to say something?
How do we give up trying to control the situation in a totally different household, and where should we be sending our energies instead?
In this episode, parent coach and founder of Mom-Me, Ann Kaplan shares why detachment is the key to successful co-parenting.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to stay level-headed when a co-parent does things differently: Parents often feel attacked when they see their exes doing things differently than they would, but there’s no need to read too deep into it. Just because they do things one way, doesn’t mean they’re suggesting our way is wrong, so create some detachment and avoid overanalyzing.
- How to stop our kids from baiting us into conflict with their other parent:The reason our kids try to bait us into getting involved in our co-parents’ rules is because we’re showing them we’re open to it. We have to do the work to feel genuinely detached from the second household, so when the situation arises we’re already neutral.
- Why we need to stop trying to do it alone:Human beings are tribal creatures, so trying to go through difficult experiences like divorce or co-parenting on our own is counterintuitive. We have to give ourselves permission to ask for help, whether from coaches, therapists, or even friends.
Guest Bio -
Ann Kaplan is a parent coach and mother to 4 children, ages 6-16. Her holistic approach includes emotional support and home management skills as well as teaching parents effective discipline that empowers children while improving behavior. She brings her experience as a Love and Logic independent facilitator and as a life coach together to create unique support for parents on multiple fronts.
Find out more at:
https://ann-kaplan-coaching.mykajabi.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1312805702136863/
https://www.mommeexperience.com/
https://ann-kaplan-coaching.mykajabi.com/public-appearances
And for Ann’s FREE Guide to Getting Kids To Listen The First Time, go to: bit.ly/kidswholisten
I did another reach-out to my community to hear about some of the things they’re struggling with as they continue to heal from divorce.
You are not the person you were in your marriage, and part of the recovery process is figuring out who you are today.
Having self-confidence in who we are and showing up authentically is how we get to build the life that we want going forward.
How do we deal with our relationships with in-laws? Why do we have to put kids in the center of everything? How can we create affirmations that resonate?
In this episode, I continue with the What Would Wendy Do series and answer more of your questions!
**DON'T MISS MY FREE MASTERCLASS TUESDAY, MARCH 2ND AT 6PM PT! LEARN MORE HERE:
How Your Guilt & Fear Limit Your Ability to Set Boundaries
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to put the children at the center of our relationships with ex-in-laws:One of the challenging things about divorce is the change in relationships with our in-laws. When children are involved, we have to be able to put hard feelings aside. It’s not about getting even, it’s about putting the kids in the center so they don’t suffer.
- Why we don’t have to feel alone: Feeling alone is a choice. There are so many ways we get to create companionship when your kids are at their other parent’s home. We create the life we live and the experience we have based on what we tell ourselves, and we can tell a different story and create a space we love to spend time in.
- How to build our own self-confidence:The person you are today is not the person you were in your marriage. You get to re-establish your relationship with your ex based on your own boundaries and values.
Most of the time, when divorces go horribly wrong it’s because we’re afraid of the unknown and what’s on the other side. As a result, we lawyer up to protect ourselves, but by doing that we’re only fueling the fire.
The truth is, far too many divorces end up messy because we put lawyers at the center of the process, instead of seeing them as just one piece in a complicated puzzle.
How can we stop our divorces from becoming more acrimonious than they need to be? If lawyers are only one piece of the puzzle, who else should we be looking to for support?
In this episode, Founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, Erin Levine shares how to make divorce an empowering experience.
And to sign up for my FREE Summit, Beyond Divorce: Learn the Secrets to Move Forward Joyfully, Find Forgiveness and Experience Peace airing LIVE February 23rd @ 8:30am PT / 11:30am ET click here: https://www.wendysterling.net/beyonddivorce
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How irrationality leads to messy divorces:When our actions come from a place of fear, it's easy to slip into irrationality. Take a breath and focus on responding, rather than reacting when difficult issues arise.
- How to get divorced without hiring a lawyer: We tend to think of lawyers as synonymous with divorce, but they don't need to be. If we can mediate through legal assistants or even a social worker, we can start the process from a more amicable, less aggressive foundation.
- The key thing to remember when going through a difficult divorce:Many times, we’re so anxious to be done with the divorce process that we’re willing to do anything to speed it up. However, we have to resist that urge. Don’t risk losing something important for the sake of short-term relief.
Guest Bio:
Erin Levine is a legal innovator, entrepreneur, speaker, and Certified Family Law Specialist. In addition to owning Levine Family Law Group, she is the Founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, an award-winning online platform that makes divorce easier, cheaper, and less stressful. Her mission is to change the conversation around divorce -- making the legal process transparent and the experience empowering, so you are set up for a positive co-parenting relationship and a happier, healthier next chapter. Erin’s legal technology and access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond - with recent press features in Above the Law, Brit+Co, Forbes, Mind Body Green, LawSites, and Entrepreneur. Recent accomplishments include the American Bar Association‘s James I Keane Memorial Award for Excellence in E-lawyering and Duke University School of Law’s Legal Tech Accelerator - Grand Prize.
To find out more, go to:
www.hellodivorce.com
Social Handles:
https://twitter.com/hellodivorce?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
https://www.instagram.com/hellodivorce/?hl=en
https://www.facebook.com/pg/hellodivorce/posts/
And for the $50 off Coupon mentioned in this episode, use the code: WENDY
Every one of us has a story about money - a set of deep-rooted beliefs and thoughts about wealth that color and shape our lives and our experiences.
When you form a mindset around money, it starts shaping every decision we make. If you don’t confront the stories and biases about yourself, you’ll end up limiting yourself.
Money isn’t just physical currency or the money in our bank accounts, it is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. We often think that wealth is something we have no control over, that our money reality is determined by our external circumstances, but creating wealth is actually an inside-out process.
Your world and your wealth are 100% created by you, and if you set the right intentions and believe without contradictions, you can write a money story of abundance.
How do we examine our money story and remove the limitations we have around wealth?
In this episode, I share why wealth is a state of being, and how to create it.
And to sign up for my FREE Summit, Beyond Divorce: Learn the Secrets to Move Forward Joyfully, Find Forgiveness and Experience Peace airing LIVE February 23rd @ 8:30am PT / 11:30am ET click here: https://www.wendysterling.net/beyonddivorce
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- The root of your money story: Your story about and relationship with money was formed in your childhood, by the adults around you. Consciously and unconsciously, we absorbed the money beliefs those people had. As we get older it’s important to identify these stories so we can rewrite our own money story.
- How to change your view on money: Money is something we use to exchange value, and in order to create wealth and attract money, we have to see value in ourselves first. Instead of letting your external circumstances define your value, look inward and see that you are powerful, capable, and valuable.
- Why we control the creation of our wealth:Wealth is a state of being, and it’s something we can create with our own intentions. Our minds are so powerful, and if we think, imagine, and live as though we’re wealthy, we can create wealth for ourselves. Focus on nurturing consistent crystal clear thoughts around our own wealth. When you are able to think without doubt, the Universe will respond.
We often hear about the toll divorce takes on our emotions, but it’s also a financially costly exercise, and one we need to be prepared for ahead of time.
Thinking about life after divorce is tough while we’re in the thick of it, but we have to remember that this is the start of a new chapter. We have to start making financial decisions our future selves will benefit from.
What do those decisions look like, and how can we get better at making them? Where does the new divorcee with no experience looking through finances even begin?
In this episode, Founder of Lifecycle Financial, Hirsch Serman shares how to keep finances stable during and after divorce.
And to sign up for my FREE Summit, Beyond Divorce: Learn the Secrets to Move Forward Joyfully, Find Forgiveness and Experience Peace airing LIVE February 23rd @ 8:30am PT / 11:30am ET click here: https://www.wendysterling.net/beyonddivorce
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to set ourselves up for a more advantageous place, post-divorce:The best time to start thinking about our finances is before the divorce is finalized. Start looking at which spending could be reduced to fit the future financial situation prior to signing any papers.
- The questions we should ask ourselves before making financial decisions:It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of buying something new, but sometimes splurging isn’t the best choice. Before committing to a big purchase, think about whether our future selves would be impressed or frustrated with our decision.
- How to look at the marital home from a more financially savvy perspective:It’s tough walking away from a marital home because we associate so many memories with them. However, sometimes it’s helpful to remember that not all the memories are happy ones, and finding a new home could be a fresh start we can afford.
Guest Bio -
Hirsch Serman is a financial coach and CPA. He founded Lifecycle Financial, LLC through his personal experiences related to divorce and having an aging parent. Through his divorce, Hirsch saw many people struggling through the financial aspect of their lives. Since then, he has devoted his career to helping those struggling through divorce and other life cycles to achieve financial wellness and empowerment. Hirsch has been featured on a number of media outlets, including Divorcedmoms.com, SplitReady.com, The Divorce Coaching Hour, Going Solo Network and Memphis Business Journal, and is the host of the Financial Wellness Radio Show.
To find out more, go to:
https://lifecycle.financial/
linkedin.com/in/hirschserman
https://www.facebook.com/groups/430131954438755
https://lifecycle.financial/financial-wellness-radio-show/
Or email him at:
Hirsch@Lifecycle.Financial
And to take advantage of Hirsch’s gift of a FREE consultation to understand your situation and help you identify crucial your next steps to creating financial wellness and empowerment, go to:
https://lifecycle.financial/wendy-sterling-listener-promo/
Parenting comes with its fair share of difficulties at the best of times, and when we add divorce to the mix, we’re faced with an extra layer of frustration and stress.
However, successful co-parenting is vital for our kids' best interests, so we have to learn how to put our own issues aside.
Staying cordial with our exes is easier said than done when we’re struggling with feelings of resentment, anger, and hurt towards them. Top that off with being skeptical of their parenting style, co-parenting is full of landmines. That being said, staying mature in our dealings with them is doable if we’re willing to put in the work.
So, where do we start? How do we stay focused on the goal of raising our kids and putting their needs first, in spite of the challenges? What can we do to keep our co-parenting relationship as drama-free as possible?
In this episode, I'm sharing my top tips for effective co-parenting.
Three Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to set aside the anger we have towards our exes:Successful co-parenting demands that we put our own emotions aside. That may not always be easy, but we have to remember that co-parenting isn't about our feelings, it's about our kids’ best interests.
- How to communicate more effectively with an ex:Whenever engaging with an ex, it's a good idea to behave as though our children are in the room with us. Stay neutral and respectful, and approach communication in the same way we would when addressing a colleague.
- How to listen more effectively, even if we aren't thrilled with what we're hearing:Listening is a vital part of effective communication. We have to make sure our co-parents feel heard, even if we don't necessarily agree with their points.
So often, when thinking of divorce, we think of it in the same way we would a death. However, there is no comparison between the two, and thinking this way will only make the process harder on us than it needs to be.
While it’s normal to grieve the end of a marriage, we have to remind ourselves that post-divorce, we’re still alive, and that means we have a ton of opportunities to create beautiful lives for ourselves.
However, that can be easier said than done. In a world so determined to equate death with divorce, how can we see the silver linings of the situation? How can we shift the way we’ve been taught to think of divorce entirely?
In this episode, Founder of Moms Moving On and Coach & Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®), Michelle Dempsey shares how to stop viewing divorce as a death.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to view divorce as a learning opportunity:
When we lose a friendship, we don’t write off ever having another friend, and it should be the same with divorce. Take whatever contributed to the breakdown of the relationship as a lesson and use it to move on to something even better.
- Why we need to reframe divorce:
Divorce signals the end of a chapter, but it also comes with massive opportunities. Post-split, we have the chance to create a life we love, with the right person by our side.
- How to get closure after a divorce:
When experiencing a death, we have a ceremony, and that helps to give us closure. While death and divorce are not the same, having some kind of a celebration can give us a much-needed sense of finality.
Guest Bio:
Michelle Dempsey is a writer, mom, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist, speaker, and genuine girl power enthusiast. Michelle fully believes in the power of having someone by your side to help you through the uncomfortable process of divorce as a way to empower and educate, making clients stronger. Her work has been featured in publications including Forbes, Scary Mommy, Parents, Daily Business Review, HuffPost, Elite Daily, and more. She is also the host of the Moms Moving On podcast. Michelle works with women at all stages of divorce; from just deciding to end their marriage to looking for their stride in co-parenting and everything in between.
To take advantage of Michelle’s free gift, a 15-minute consult, go to:
https://momsmovingon.com/schedule-a-call/
And to find out more, go to:
https://momsmovingon.com/
https://momsmovingon.com/podcasts/
https://www.instagram.com/themichelledempsey/?hl=en
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrRLbdPiRn6-UGGONrxFGSw
https://linktr.ee/Themichelledempsey
When we step into a new year, we all have a renewed focus on our goals and the things we want to accomplish. The challenge is, when we think about our goals, we miss out on the part that allows us to show up as our most empowered and confident selves, intention.
If we want our goals to have a purpose, they have to be backed up by intention, by something other than an outcome or accomplishment. We need both goals and intentions so we can focus on what we want, but also so that we can enjoy the journey to that goal.
What is the objective of an intention? How do we combine a goal and an intention so that we’re living in both our masculine and feminine energy? In this episode, I talk about the magical combination of goals and intentions.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
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Masculine vs. feminine energy when it comes to our goals: A goal is about what we want to achieve and accomplish, it’s grounded in masculine energy. An intention is about how you want to feel, and what you want to experience. We shouldn’t just focus on what we want to achieve, we also have to think about the feeling we want to have whether or not we reach that goal. It’s about being present in our feminine energy.
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Why intentions are an important aspect of goal setting: If we set a goal without an intention, we create a situation where we won’t feel happy or empowered until we achieve that goal. Sometimes goals get in the way of the journey, of the joy, and the path of discovery. Setting intentions allows us to have the gift of mindfulness, which is important.
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Why focusing on intentions isn’t settling: Focusing on your intentions doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your goals, lessening your desire, or that you’re less than because you didn’t achieve. It just means you’re choosing to care about the process as much as the outcome.
Getting back into the dating scene after divorce can feel really scary, especially when it comes to online dating. We want to create a better relationship dynamic and find a happy, healthy love connection, but we often find ourselves stuck on the first milestone, creating a dating profile.
How do we even know if we’re ready to dip our toes back in the dating pool? If we feel like we’ve done our inner work to deal with our divorce and feel excited about meeting new people, that’s a sign that we’re ready.
Did you know that right now is the perfect time to get back into the dating scene because it is peak dating season? There are thousands of people putting themselves out there right now and YOU GET TO TOO!
How do we overcome the fear of online dating apps? How can we create healthier dating patterns? In today’s episode, I’m joined by dating/relationship expert, and founder of Smart Dating Academy, Bela Gandhi. We talk about how to prepare ourselves to get back into the dating game.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- Common mistakes people make as they dip back into the dating world:
People tend to end up dating people who are exactly like their exes. That’s because we tend to do what feels comfortable, not necessarily what’s right. Unless we work on ourselves and deal with our own internal dating patterns, we’ll continue to be a magnet for familiarity and not a magnet for who will make us happy.
- Why we shouldn’t give up too much of our stories early on:
Be honest about where you live and how you look. You need to look the way you look right now. You want someone to say you look like just your photo or better. With other information, there’s no need to lay all your cards on the table on your dating profile. People need to earn your story and earn your time, so we can go into deeper detail about our life story as we get to know someone.
- The mindset we need to have about the dating pool:
Having a funnel is an important part of dipping your toes back into dating. Instead of dating just one person, date more than one so you can get a better idea of what you really want. Don’t focus on being with someone who looks good on paper, finding the right person is more qualitative than quantitative.
Guest Bio:
Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, and a weekly media correspondent. She is a relationship expert and has been featured on most national/local media outlets. She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009. Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation's top date coaching firms - and teaches busy, successful professionals to jump start their dating lives successfully. Smart Dating Academy is described by its clients “like going to Harvard Business School, but for dating and relationships”. SDA’s coaches become personal trainers for their clients’ love lives.
The SDA coaching program is results-oriented and fun - which helps you to clarify who is right for you, stop old dating patterns, and use technology the RIGHT way. You become positive and enthusiastic about dating / relationships again! Its clients receive personalized dating plans, and essential training in how to meet high caliber singles, personal style, conversation, and online success. For more information, to sign up for the newsletter and to learn about The Online Dating Love Lab, visit https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/. Follow @smartdatingacademy on Instagram.
Feminine energy is one of the most misunderstood concepts in our society, but it’s also one of the most powerful things we all possess. We interpret femininity as something weak, and we miss out on all the good that comes with it.
Very often, we lean more into our masculine energy, focusing more on doing than on being, which leads to us feeling depleted and disconnected from ourselves.
It’s time for us to start recognizing the power, beauty, and strength that comes with our feminine energy, and use it to enrich every part of our lives.
How do we surrender to the flow of the feminine? Why is self-care such an important aspect of femininity, and what are the ways we can take care of ourselves across mind, body, spirit?
In this episode, I talk about leaning into the feminine, and why it’s so critical right now.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- The difference between masculine and feminine energy and why we need both:
Men and women possess both masculine and feminine energy. In today’s society, we’ve become accustomed to leaning into, owning, and projecting masculine energy. It’s the side of us that’s very linear, goal-oriented, and results-driven. Our feminine energy is the side of us that’s nurturing, feeling, creative, and in tune with our hearts and our souls.
- Why basing self-worth on external achievements is dangerous:
As women, we often equate our worth with what we do, and we value ourselves on our achievements and ability to cross things off a list. When our self-worth is so closely tied to things outside of us, we lose control of it. We also risk losing ourselves if and when the external things we identify with change or are removed.
- How self-care helps us tap into our feminine energy:
Self-care is a process of reconnecting with who you truly are and what is important, it’s so much deeper than just taking care of yourself. The best thing you can do to improve your self-worth is to step up your self-care game. When we take care of ourselves, we’re actually showing ourselves that we’re worthy.
Healing from a high-conflict divorce is one of the biggest challenges we can ever face. When our former partner has narcissistic capabilities, it feels like the wounds of that relationship are too deep and impossible to work through, but you can heal. You can come out of it with the tools that will attract the life you want.
Being in a high-conflict marriage reveals deep truths about ourselves. How we were treated and how we showed up is a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.
Often in the desire to be loved, we abandon ourselves by giving so much to an unworthy partner. The journey to self-healing requires us to dig into the root of those wounds to truly heal them. It’s a painful journey, but a very necessary one.
What are some of the challenges we experience in high conflict divorces? Why is a high-conflict divorce a powerful opportunity for us to heal our emotional wounds? What do these relationships teach us?
In this episode, Journey Beyond Divorce founder Karen McMahon shares the emotional and mental tools we can use to come out of our divorce with self-love and self-forgiveness.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
What our marriages teach us about our inner state:
A difficult, high conflict marriage is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. When we’re wounded and yearn so much to be loved in place of our own self-love, we end up with a partner who pours more into that wound. Once we accept that love is an inside job, we’ll end the pattern of seeking love externally.
The danger of trying to fast-forward through the pain of divorce:
It’s natural to want to skip over the emotional discomfort of divorce, but there are powerful and pivotal lessons we can learn from pain. If we were to fast-forward, we would be the same person we were in that relationship and attract the same type of relationship again. If we go through the pain and grow from it, we get to change emotionally and energetically, and we’ll never attract the same type of high-conflict relationship again.
How to turn emotional triggers into lessons:
We’ve been taught to blame our pain and dysfunction on an external circumstance or person, but the answers and the healing are within us. An emotional trigger shows us we have something that needs to be healed or refined about us. Emotional triggers can help us look inward and get clear on the root of the pain. If we’re willing to look inward, we’ll be able to find solutions instead of remaining stuck on the problems.
Guest Bio
Karen’s passion is to help men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups, and divorce. Her work helps to open up the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010 after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation. For more information, visit https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/.
To get Karen’s Divorce Survival Kit visit https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/divorce-recovery-plan.
In my Facebook Group, I did a reach-out to my community to hear about some of the things they’re struggling with as they continue to heal from divorce.
My community came up with some really great questions, so I decided to share the answers with all of you because I have a hunch you are asking for answers to the same questions!
The holiday season can bring up a lot of emotions around our divorces and changes to our family dynamic. This includes our children having to be around our ex’s new spouse, feelings of not being enough, and not being able to get past a betrayal. By changing our thinking around these issues, they can stop having power over us.
In today’s episode, I answer What Would Wendy Do questions from my Facebook community.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to overcome negative emotions:
Name your feelings and get clear on the hurt that you’re feeling. When you name your feelings and get specific about the emotions that are coming up for you, you actually take the power away from them. That way you start to escape the trap of being held hostage by the past.
- How to stop worrying about your kids being around a step-parent:
When our exes remarry, one of the biggest hurdles we might face is being okay with their new spouse being around our kids. Most of the time not wanting them to be around your kids is due to something being triggered within us. If we can get clear on this, we can focus on putting our kids at the center of everything.
- Why retaliation only hurts us more:
When our marriages end over infidelity and betrayal, it’s such a natural response to want to act on our anger and hurt by retaliating through snide and bitter comments. The problem is, this only delays our healing. Retaliation is like picking a scab, it will keep exposing the wound and cause further pain, and we won’t be able to move forward.
It’s easy to get caught up in feeling like we’re the only ones experiencing the pain of a divorce, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We’re not the first people going through it, and we won’t be the last, so we have to start giving ourselves some grace.
Many women get so entangled with their roles as wives and mothers that the thought of being anything but those things feels wrong, and we punish ourselves as a result. However, when we realize we’re not alone, everything changes.
How can we stop being so hard on ourselves and start treating ourselves with more kindness? Will we ever be able to accept that everyone goes through difficult phases at some point?
In this episode, CEO and founder of Boss Mom, Dana Malstaff shares how we can stop judging ourselves.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why amicable divorces aren’t always as easy as they seem:
For women going through amicable splits, the reality of our pain can be surprising. However, we have to acknowledge that when it comes to divorce, everyone goes through the same grieving process and none of us are immune to emotion.
How speaking about our divorces helps the healing process:
Many women avoid talking about their divorces because they’re afraid of judgment, but the truth is we’re not alone. In fact, speaking publicly about what we’re going through is the fastest way to surround ourselves with others who can relate.
The importance of self-compassion:
There are so many things we say to ourselves that we would never say to a friend, and that’s because we’re harder on ourselves than we should be. Remember that everyone goes through tough times, which makes it not only okay, but normal.
Guest Bio:
Dana Malstaff is the CEO and Founder of Boss Mom, and host of the Boss Mom Podcast. After launching the brand and her first book, Boss Mom: The Ultimate Guide to Raising a Business & Nurturing Your Family Like a Pro in 2015, she started an international movement. Since then, the Boss Moms Facebook community has organically grown to over 50,000 members and there are now Boss Mom local meetups in over 80 cities. Dana is passionate about giving women permission to follow their dreams, and strongly believes that we need to show our children that doing what we love can be financially viable.
To find out more about Dana and to connect with her, go to:
www.boss-mom.com
www.boss-mom.com/facebook
https://www.facebook.com/BossMomDana/
https://www.instagram.com/DanaMalstaff
https://www.instagram.com/DanaMalstaff
To get a copy of Dana’s books, head to:
Climb Your Own Ladder - https://www.amazon.com/Climb-Your-Own-Ladder-Business-ebook/dp/B07MGMPQ7T/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=dana+malstaff&qid=1599602975&sr=8-1
Boss Mom - https://www.amazon.com/Boss-Mom-Ultimate-Business-Nurturing-ebook/dp/B018K0VSP2/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=dana+malstaff&qid=1599603002&sr=8-3
Confessions of a Boss Mom - https://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Boss-Mom-Power-Knowing-ebook/dp/B0714CMSJ7/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=dana+malstaff&qid=1599603002&sr=8-2
And to take advantage of the free gift mentioned in this episode, go to:
https://boss-mom.com/challenge/
We’ve all experienced adversity, trauma, tragedy, and significant stress in our lives. The reason we’re able to adapt to these situations is resilience. It’s how we take our power back. It’s the difference between going through something and growing through it.
Resilience isn’t a trait possessed only by certain people, it’s something we can all develop. In fact, resilience is something we can create for ourselves. Like building any muscle, it takes practice, time, and intentionality.
Going through divorce challenges us in so many ways, but building my own resilience is what helped me realize that my divorce was a gift. Resilience is how we create the next great chapter and see that this is happening for us.
What steps can we take to create resilience for ourselves when we go through a trauma? How does mindfulness make us more resilient?
In this episode, I share why resilience is something we can create for ourselves and how to do it.
When we increase our capacity for resilience, we not only grow but we increase the toolkit from which we pull from any time we experience treacherous waters. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- Why resilience is achievable for all of us:Resilience isn’t a personality trait, it’s something we learn. We all have the ability to tap into thoughts, ideas, and behaviors that allow us to adapt to adversity and grow through the challenges we face.
- The truth about what it means to be resilient: Being resilient doesn’t make us immune to the emotional effects of difficult times. We will still experience emotional pain and stress, but when we’re resilient, we’re equipped with tools that allow us to see beyond that trauma. It allows us to grow from our adversity instead of feeling defeated by it.
- Why self-care is a pillar of resilience:Focusing on our emotional, mental, and physical health is a huge part of creating resilience. Our self-care is tied to our self-worth, and when we’re not taking care of ourselves, the challenges we’re facing feel heavier and more overwhelming. Self-care also allows us to focus on what we can control, which makes us more resilient.
Many people stay in unhappy marriages because we struggle to have faith that we’ll get through our divorce and find joy on the other side.
When we’re so focused on the physical world and what we see on the surface, we won’t see that our divorce is a divinely orchestrated plan that’s working for our good.
Having trust in that plan is what will lead us to our healing.
Tapping into spirituality gives us the insight of knowing that everything will work out for us, and the strength to get through the challenges times. Our divorce recovery can be impacted by seeing it from the perspective of a higher purpose.
How do we find healing by surrendering to our higher selves? Will we ever feel like we’re making the ‘right’ decision by ending our marriages?
In this episode, Founder of Live Authentically, Pamela Savino shares how her spirituality transformed the way she experienced her divorce.
When you are completely aligned with who you know yourself to be, that's when you soar in life. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to gain control through surrender:Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, it means acceptance. When we accept the situation and the reality that we have everything we need to deal with it within ourselves, it’s easier to jump into the unknown.
- How to trust that this is for the best:The universe always works with our best interests in mind, and it’s important that we realize that. It’s also important to acknowledge that our highest good might not be what we want in the moment, but it will all work in our favor in the end.
- What to do when we haven’t received a sign that we’re on the right path:It’s easy to get caught up in receiving signs from the universe, but we shouldn’t be waiting for something specific. Waiting has an air of desperation to it which will only cause resistance. Practice patience and let the universe do its job.
Guest Bio-
Pamela Savino is the founder of Live Authentically, a life coaching business, and host of the Live Authentically Show podcast, whose guests include people committed to playing a role in raising collective consciousness and helping others discover the essence of who they are. Also the author of SOAR, Pamela is pursuing her spiritual calling with an unparalleled fervor. She relentlessly helps others find their voice, speak their truth, and live authentically via several modalities. Her wish for everyone in this world is that we all live deeply fulfilling and authentic lives. Achieving this goal often requires radical change, and she is vowing to embody, embrace, and model this change to inspire others to find their own voice and leave this world a better place than we found it.
To find out more and to contact Pamela, go to:
www.liveauthentically.today
www.liveauthentically.today/fb
https://www.amazon.com/SOAR-Spiritual-Journey-Transformation-Self-Actualization-ebook/dp/B0852QF6ST/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=soar+pamela+savino&qid=1589208848&sr=8-1
pamela@liveauthenticallytoday.com
And to take advantage of Pamela’s free gift, go to:
https://learnto.liveauthentically.today/5-powerful-ways-to-embrace-your-authentic-self
Parenting is challenging at the best of times, and divorce only adds an extra layer of frustration and exhaustion to the mix. If we want to act in our children’s best interests, we have to push past the obstacles and prioritize co-parenting.
Staying in communication with our exes after a divorce isn’t always easy, especially when we’re still going through emotions like anger, resentment, and hurt. Is it possible to push those feelings aside completely and keep our kids at the center of every interaction?
How can we make sure our issues with our former spouses are off the table whenever we’re making decisions about our kids, and what can we do to keep our communications as neutral as possible?
In this episode, I explain how to keep calm when co-parenting.
Be sure to watch my FREE live show Co-Parenting and Divorce ON TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1ST to Learn the Secrets to Successfully Co-Parent, Communicate Effectively, and Create Financial Success After Divorce. I will be joined by power-packed co-parenting experts to help you overcome co-parenting challenges and develop a cordial working relationship with your ex. Don't miss it! To find out more go to coparentingsummit.com
When you think about your co-parent as the father or mother of your children, rather than your ex, you’ll see them in a less emotionally-charged light. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to keep your emotions in the backseat as a co-parent:It’s completely normal to feel angry or bitter towards our exes after a divorce, but we have to make sure those feelings don’t dictate our actions. Keep a happy memory on hand to think of any time things feel too overwhelming in order to avoid lashing out or losing sight of what’s most important: our children’s needs.
- How to improve communication with your co-parent:When dealing with our former spouses, staying neutral is key. Commit to listening to what the other person is saying and approach every conversation with respect, even if we choose to disagree with them.
- How to co-parent as a team even if you’re parallel parenting:Co-parenting requires consistency, and there are certain guidelines both households should stick to, especially when it comes to rewards or punishment. That being said, we should also always leave room for flexibility. We have to pick our battles wisely.
When we’re in the thick of a divorce, it feels nearly impossible to imagine being happy again, but we can and will be able to feel genuine joy again.
Divorce doesn’t have to be something we just survive. It can be an opportunity for us to truly thrive and create a happier life for ourselves.
All of this may sound easier said than done, especially in the early stages of the process and during a global pandemic. It’s challenging to think of life after divorce when we’re dealing with so much, but there is hope and happiness on the horizon.
How can we mitigate the feelings of anger, resentment, and overwhelm brought on by divorce? What can we do now to facilitate healing in the long term?
In this episode, award-winning divorce attorney and published author, Renee Bauer shares how to set ourselves up for a happier life, post-divorce.
At the end of the day, your divorce is only a blip on the map. Every moment in our lives leads up to our full story. -Renee Bauer
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to cope with the early stages of healing:We have the power to cut back on some of the overwhelm of divorce. Stop trying to cope with everything at once and start celebrating smaller, more attainable milestones. This could be as simple as crying less in a day, or not at all.
- How keeping our kids at the center helps speed up the process of moving on:It’s difficult to move forward when we’re battling for custody with our ex. By actively deciding to keep our kids’ best interests at the center of our divorce, we can avoid spending any more time in the divorce process than necessary.
- How to remove some of the pressure:Not everyone will have the perfect blended family after divorce, and that’s okay. Everyone’s family is different and so are their divorces, so if we aren’t interested in or comfortable with going to gatherings with our exes, we don’t have to.
Guest Bio-
Renee Bauer is an award-winning divorce attorney and the author of Divorce in Connecticut, Percy’s Imperfectly Perfect Family and The Ultimate Guide to Solo and Small Firm Success. She is also the Founder of family law firm, Bauer Law Group. A certified Guardian Ad Litem, Attorney for the Minor Child, Collaborative Attorney and Mediator, Renee has nearly 2 decades of experience in the field and is passionate about helping women redefine their sense of peace after divorce. Regularly sought after by local and regional media outlets, podcasts, and conferences for her expertise in co-parenting, blended families, and the art of reinvention, Renee is also the CEO of Happy Even After LLC, creator of its d⋅course, and host of the podcast of the same name.
To find out more, go to:
https://msreneebauer.com/
https://www.instagram.com/msreneebauer/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rbauer1
When something bad happens to us, our first reaction is the fear and panic that we’re suffering a crippling setback, but what if it isn’t a setback at all? What if this challenge is actually setting us up for a huge breakthrough?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this after sustaining an injury. For a moment, I felt like it was a bad thing, but after it forced me to slow down and refocus, I saw it for what it was. My setback was instigating my next level, it was what I needed to push through the ceiling.
My biggest breakthroughs come after I have a breakdown. Life throws a curveball, but after that, I break through to a new level.
I think it’s the same for you too. An illness, injury, and even a divorce could be the sign that you’re reaching the upper limit before you elevate.
What lessons are we supposed to learn from a breakdown, and why do breakdowns happen for us? In this episode, I talk about a powerful lesson I recently learned about what Steve Taylor calls The Upper Limit Problem.
Our breakdowns are the rocket ships that enable us to get to our next level. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- We have an inner thermostat of happiness. It’s the level we subconsciously become comfortable with. When we try to cross that threshold, our subconscious panic response is triggered.
- Before we have a breakthrough, it’s common to get sick, get injured, look for something to get upset about, and experience emotional upheaval.
- When you suffer a setback, don’t become attached to the outcome and what’s happening in that moment. Choose to see the positive aspect of the breakdown, how it’s happening for you, not to you.
Betrayal has a lasting effect on anyone who has experienced it. From emotional distress to physical health issues, betrayal is a traumatic event that requires healing.
Luckily, we have more power over the healing process than we may realize. If we’re willing to put in the work, we don’t need to let our betrayal hold us back or stop us from moving on.
How can we push past the “survival mode” that typically follows the disbelief of broken trust? Can we ever return to the way we were before being betrayed?
In this episode, holistic psychologist and Founder of The PBT Institute, Dr. Debi Silber shares how to truly heal from betrayal.
Telling your broken heart to “get over it” is never going to work. You have to choose to heal. -Dr. Debi Silber
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- The common saying we need to stop believing:The idea that “time heals all wounds” simply isn’t true. Until we’ve actively dealt with our trauma, no amount of time will stop us from having a lack of trust or experiencing repeat betrayals in the future.
- What we need to be willing to let go of in order to heal:For many people, the story of our betrayal has become part of our identity. While this can bring us immediate benefits, like comfort from our support systems, if we genuinely want to move forward, we have to be willing to let go of that story once and for all.
- Why we need to be honest with ourselves:The key to healing lies in acknowledging what we’re doing to halt the process. If we’re filling our schedules to avoid being with our own thoughts, we need to be able to admit that to ourselves.
Guest Bio-
Dr. Debi Silber is the President and CEO of Debi Silber Companies, LLC. and Founder of The PBT Institute, dedicated to helping people transform their lives after betrayal. She is a holistic psychologist and recognized health, mindset, empowerment, and personal development expert. Dr. Debi is also the author of the Amazon #1 Bestseller, The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, and the host of the Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast. In addition to that, she has contributed to Fox, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx, among many others.
To find out more about Dr. Debi, her books, and her podcast, head to:
https://thepbtinstitute.com/
One of the most common emotional challenges of going through a divorce is feeling stuck and not being able to put the pain behind us so we can truly move forward. This is rooted in our inability to find closure.
We seek closure in many ways, but often we try to find it in the very same place we were hurt. I recently came across a quote that reminded me that closure is a gift that we can give ourselves. It’s an ongoing process of rising to new levels of awareness and releasing the past so that it doesn’t control us.
We control our own closure, and searching for it externally only keeps us rooted in our pain. Additionally, focusing on the past instead of the future also makes it hard for us to gain closure in a meaningful way.
What are some of the ways a search for closure can be harmful? How do stories we tell ourselves delay our healing process? Why is it important to find closure on our own terms? In this episode, I share what closure in divorce means to me.
Part of the closure piece is finding who you are, and doing it on your own terms. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- The quote about closure that really resonated with me:Closure comes to us from within. It comes when we accept that letting go and moving forward is more important than remaining stuck in a situation that is no longer serving us.
- Why owning our part is a key component of gaining closure:A huge part of what keeps us from gaining closure in divorce is refusing to come to terms with how we contributed to the demise of our marriage. This denial fuels shame and embarrassment and keeps us stuck in the past. You free yourself by admitting to it and taking responsibility. This takes the power away from your past and puts the power and the focus on the future.
- Why closure has nothing to do with your ex:We often make the mistake of thinking we will get closure by getting an apology or acknowledgment from our exes, but that will only reopen wounds. If you keep involving your ex in your need for closure, you are going to continue focusing on your past and your ex. You moving forward has everything to do with focusing on your future and you.
For women, the financial aspect of divorce is often the part that feels hardest to get a handle on. If we didn’t take an active role in the financial side of things in our marriages, it’s natural to feel a lack of confidence figuring out how to negotiate and navigate our finances during and after divorce.
This doesn’t mean we’re not capable of thriving financially. From the negotiation process to future financial decisions, our divorce can be a powerful tool that empowers us, gives us confidence, and allows us to thrive.
By educating ourselves on the most important financial details of life after divorce, we can be more prepared for the process. What are the crucial steps we need to be taking in the lead up to divorce?
In this episode, I’m joined by Divorce Financial Consultant and founder of The Women's Financial Wellness Center, Rhonda Noordyk, CFEI, CDFA®. She talks about what holds women back from financial recovery after divorce and how to start your next chapter with confidence.
The reason women feel like they don’t have confidence with finances and negotiating is not that we aren’t capable. We just haven’t had the opportunity to get skills in that area. -Rhonda Noordyk
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to take care of yourself in the divorce process:There are 3 pieces to the divorce process: the financial aspect, legal aspect, and emotional aspect. For many women these are all intertwined, which is a big reason why we don’t take certain actions or make certain decisions in the lead up to the divorce. To protect yourself on each front, get a team that can help take care of each aspect.
- Where to focus our investigative energy:If there’s infidelity involved in the end of our marriage, it’s so easy to focus on knowing all the details of the affair, but this doesn’t empower us. Instead of those details, keep the focus on financial stability and security. Find out if there are any financial implications of the infidelity and what it means for you and the future of your children.
- Why we should be cautious when accepting a settlement:Don’t sign a divorce settlement until you’re truly aware of what’s on the table, and are sure that it’s equitable. Even if the offer seems generous, remember your spouse is looking out for themselves. We might have trusted them financially in the marriage, but when negotiating finances in divorce, trust yourself, your instincts, and your team.
Guest Bio
Rhonda Noordyk is a Divorce Financial Consultant, heart-centered business owner, and founder and CEO of The Women's Financial Wellness Center. Her relentless pursuit of financial justice for women going through divorce drove her to leave the financial industry in 2014 to open The Women's Financial Wellness Center. She used her knowledge, passion, and experience to build a leading-edge business model. The intention was to create a business that provided a safe place for women - especially those in a vulnerable position - to find their paths, voices, and the financial confidence they need to lift themselves out of seemingly hopeless situations.
Since starting the Women’s Financial Wellness Center, after a 10+ year career in the financial industry, she has helped alleviate financial vulnerability for thousands of women. Rhonda also hosts a podcast called Divorce Conversations for Women. Rhonda brings energy, transparency, and likeability to her audience. She has also appeared on Fox6 News, Real Milwaukee, and Morning Blend. Her dynamic and inspirational style leaves women with a sense of empowerment. For more information visit https://www.wfwcdivorce.com/
For a free 30-minute consultation call with Rhonda visit https://WFWC.as.me/30minutediscoverycallrn
You can also listen to her podcast Divorce Conversations for Women on all podcast platforms.
Victim mentality is something we all suffer from as we go through divorce, especially when we focus on the negative. However, there is actually some positivity in this situation, and when we start to see the silver lining, we get to stand in our power.
As we start to heal after divorce, we get to look past the current situation, shift our perspective, and focus on the gifts divorce grants us. We have choices and do not have to choose to be the victim. If we focus on gratitude and self-compassion, we can see divorce as an empowering experience that happens FOR us, not TO us.
What actions can we take when negativity strikes? How can we feel more powerful and in control of our lives?
In this episode, I share how to fight the victim mentality and experience the gift of divorce without guilt.
Being a victim keeps you in the past and looking in the rearview mirror. Allow yourself to be free of the past, and move into the next chapter with grace. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why we hold on to pain and fear instead of looking for the positives:
Sometimes we feel stubborn in our negative emotions and we don’t want to look for the good because we don’t want to see it. When we’re hurt, it’s easy to refuse to change our perspective.
How a victim mentality plays into our self-talk:
Our inner critic isn’t the only inner voice we have. It’s only one internal point-of-view caused by past experiences and circumstances. The inner critic feeds on us believing the negative stories we tell ourselves. Remember, it’s the voice of self-preservation and past trauma, not the truth.
The true definition of mindfulness and why it’s important:
True mindfulness is our ability to observe our thoughts and feelings without attaching meanings, reactions, or stories to them. We perpetuate and react to the negative stories we tell ourselves because we’re believing them instead of observing them without judgment.
Our society tends to stigmatize divorce and frame it as something to be ashamed of, but for those who left unhappy, toxic, and abusive marriages, divorce is actually empowering. It is a pivotal moment where we get to rediscover ourselves, own our power, and start designing the life we want.
Divorce is a gift and something worth celebrating, and we can celebrate it with a special piece of jewelry, our very own divorce ring!
By wearing a divorce ring, we have a symbol to remind us of the power our divorce brings us, and the incredible new journey we’re about to embark on. Like my guest, so many of us come out of marriages where we lost our financial independence. Her story shows us that it’s possible to reclaim our independence and make powerful decisions for ourselves and our future.
Where did the idea for a divorce ring come from? Why is divorce jewelry becoming a phenomenon among divorced women?
In this episode, I’m joined by opera singer and divorce jewelry curator, Sara Duchovnay. She shares how she reclaimed her power after her own divorce and turned her second passion into a business that helps divorced women symbolize their strength.
When so many of us come out of unhappy marriages, we’re having to relearn how to love ourselves. A divorce ring reminds us of our power. -Sara Duchovnay
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How to tell your divorce story your way:
Many divorced women are uncomfortable saying the words “I am divorced” because there’s so much stigma and shame society attaches to it. We want a different way to express that our marriage ended and that we’re not ashamed about it, but that we want to actually celebrate it. A divorce ring is a way to communicate that and take the discomfort away.
What it takes to move on from the financial identity we had in our marriages:
Even if we came from a financially abusive marriage, or we’re afraid of losing our financial security in divorce, we have the ability to recover from financial hardship. It can be scary to rethink our financial life, but if our determination, strength, and power are stronger than our fear, we can have abundance after divorce.
Why divorce is empowering and worth celebrating:In unhappy, toxic, or abusive marriages, we put ourselves on the backburner and internalize all the terrible things our partners have said to and about us. We start feeling like we don’t deserve good things in our lives. Divorce wakes us up and reminds us that we are worthy of good things and that we deserve to do good things for ourselves too.
Guest Bio
Sara is a professional opera singer who has turned her obsession with antique diamonds and estate fine jewelry into a dual career! The two sides of her professional life work together in perfect harmony; while performing major roles with opera companies around the country and traveling alongside her opera singing husband, Sara is able to source incredible heirloom pieces from all over the world. An unexpected but meaningful niche in her business is also “divorce rings”, special rings that women purchase for themselves to celebrate their strength and independence from unhappy and/or unhealthy marriages. This unexpected niche presented itself when Sara shared a photo of her own divorce ring that she purchased after leaving an emotionally abusive marriage. Many women were moved by her story of survival and felt inspired to buy their own. Sara is also an ambassador and educational facilitator with the One Love Foundation, a nonprofit that teaches young people about healthy vs. unhealthy relationships in an effort to end relationship abuse. She loves being a part of the healing process for her clients and helping them celebrate themselves. Follow @songbirdsarajewelry on Instagram. For a Free 20-minute divorce jewelry consult, send an email to smduchovnay@gmail.com. Shop Sara’s pieces at https://songbirdsaraantiquejewelry.com/ and use the promo code DIVORCE for free US shipping.
For most human beings, it’s terrifying to show our real selves and let people see beneath the armor we present to the world.
We see vulnerability as risky because it reveals our flaws and creates the possibility of being judged or worse, hurt. However, feeling vulnerable doesn’t mean we’re in danger. It’s actually something we get to embrace.
The armor we wear is nothing more than our attempt to numb ourselves from feelings we urgently need to face. When we go through a trauma like divorce, this is where that starts to chip away. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually an opportunity for massive growth and self-acceptance.
You see, exposing our true feelings of fear, insecurity, and pain is a risk worth taking. When we deny our vulnerability, we cause ourselves more pain.
How can we start to brave the world without our armor and face the uncomfortable emotions we have? Why do we need to stop chasing perfection and excellence? In this episode, I share how to respond to the fear, uncertainty, and emotional exposure that vulnerability creates.
Vulnerability gives us a more fulfilling and richer life versus the pain of suppressing our emotions. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode:
Why avoiding vulnerability prolongs our pain:
When we’re healing, what we desperately need is to be seen, heard, and supported. When we avoid our vulnerability and numb ourselves, we actually make it impossible for us to be seen deeply. We end up turning our back on the very thing we desire.
How the past keeps us from facing ourselves:
We tend to avoid living in the present by reverting back to the past, but that’s just another trap that keeps us from being vulnerable and experiencing the uncomfortable and terrifying feelings we have right now. The past is a shield that keeps us from experiencing our truth in this moment, and it delays our healing.
The truth about other people’s opinions:
The fear of being vulnerable is rooted in the fear of being judged by others. But other people’s opinions of us are none of our business. People are focused on themselves and their own struggles, they’re not focused on us. Whatever opinions they have of us are projections based on where they are in their life, not on what is in our best interests.
When we leave something, whether it’s a place, a job, or a relationship, we aren’t just closing a chapter. We’re leaving a dream, an identity, and an enormous component of ourselves.
But here’s the thing, leaving isn’t the same as letting go. People can leave a bad marriage and still cling to it mentally and emotionally.
True healing happens when we have the courage to completely release the past, and listen to that inner truth that tells us we’re meant for better. The journey to letting go isn’t easy, but it is one worth taking.
Once we leave our past in the rearview, and stop looking back at it, we can fully step into that new chapter and experience the gift divorce can be.
How do we examine ourselves and determine what our inner voice is trying to tell us? What does moving on actually look like? In this episode, I’m joined by Jill Sherer Murray. She is a TEDx speaker, influencer, and author of the brilliant book, Big Wild Love: The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go. We discuss how to let go, especially after the end of a marriage, and what we can look forward to when we release the past.
When you do hard things, it’s only natural to have moments of regret and moments of questioning. You’re in deep dark denial if you never have those moments. -Jill Sherer Murray
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- Why we struggle to let go:As human beings, every choice we make comes down to safety and avoiding perceived danger. Even when a relationship is bad for us, we get used to it and it gives us safety. Leaving that situation and letting go feels like a loss of safety, and that’s what makes letting go so difficult. It’s natural to have those moments of fear and doubt, even when letting go is the right thing.
- How to own the power we have when we let go:The fear of letting go stems from a fear of the unknown. When we leave something familiar that we’ve known a long time, it’s like jumping off a cliff thinking we don’t have a safety net. Instead of waiting for external safety, we have to trust that we’re strong enough to be our own safety net and catch ourselves.
- The process of overcoming limiting beliefs:Limiting beliefs are a sign that we fully haven’t let go of something in our past. Before we can dispel them, we have to become aware of them. Once we know them, we can revise and eliminate them so that our beliefs start working for us, not against us. We can turn limiting beliefs into epiphanies by becoming woke to ourselves.
Guest Bio
Jill Sherer Murray is a TEDx speaker and influencer, author, blogger, coach, and founder of Let Go For It®, a lifestyle brand dedicated to helping individuals let go for a better life and businesses let go for better communications. She is also an award-winning journalist and communications leader who can trace practically every success she’s had in her career, love life, and more to letting go. Her TEDx talk, “The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go” has been viewed by millions of people. She wrote her new best-selling book, Big Wild Love: The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go in response to many people who’ve reached out to her for help and inspiration after seeing her TEDx Talk and appearances in various media and podcasts. Jill spent a year studying improvisation comedy at the famous Second City Training Center in Chicago, and another five years writing a popular blog called “Diary of a Writer in Mid-Life Crisis” for the Wild River Review magazine. She also let go of just about everything to put her weight in Shape Magazine—12 times—as part of a year-long assignment to document her weight loss journey for millions of readers.
You can learn more about her at www.letgoforit.com. Follow her at @letgoforit on Facebook and Instagram, and Jill Sherer Murray on LinkedIn.
Buy Jill’s book Big Wild Love: The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go here.
Watch Jill’s TEDx talk here.
When we’re going through divorce, the emotional upheaval can be so distressing and unsettling that inner peace seems impossible. With everything going on in the world, is it even possible to lead a peaceful life?
Yes. It absolutely is!
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we can’t always control what’s happening around us, but we do have the power to choose how it affects us. Peace doesn’t mean the absence of challenges. It’s the ability to choose tranquility by controlling our emotional and mental state.
When we have peace, it impacts the filter we see the world through, it changes the stories we tell ourselves, and it releases our attachment to the past and the future so we can live in the present.
What are some of the things that hold us back from inner peace? How can we become neutral towards the things that happen to us, and why is that a strength, not a weakness? In this episode, I discuss why inner peace is in our control and how it helps us through challenging seasons in our lives.
When you say yes to peace, you’re saying no to what disrupts it. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why it’s important to focus on the journey, not the destination:Our society focuses on the destination. That means we’re always waiting for something big to happen to us which makes it hard for us to live in the present. Don’t wait to find joy when you reach your end goal. There are going to be small wins, breakthroughs, and milestones. We need to celebrate them because they matter.
How we find peace by becoming neutral:Peace means maintaining internal neutrality, observing what’s happening around us without reacting or attaching meaning to it. It’s a state where no external force can impact us internally because we have achieved internal equilibrium and centered ourselves.
How to create your own inner peace:Inner peace doesn’t just happen, it’s a decision we have to make for ourselves to release our attachment to the past and the outcome. We need to take responsibility for who we choose to be and the actions we take. If we can dig deep from within, and do some honest self-reflection, we can combat the things that try to disrupt our inner peace.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call?month=2020-09
Click here to sign up for my free live show, Divorce and Narcissism, on September 29th: https://www.wendysterling.net/divorce-and-narcissism-live
Bad relationships drain us of our happiness, purpose, and most of all, our best selves. When people leave an abusive or traumatic relationship, they may feel like strangers to themselves. So often, we find that we can’t recognize who we became in that situation, and it feels impossible to reconnect with ourselves.
Divorce is a powerful catalyst for taking the journey to self-rediscovery. We get to make changes to our lives on our own terms, break out of the box we were in, and unlock all the amazing and unique things that make us who we are.
I know it’s hard to see through the fog of fear and doubt after a marriage ends, but trust me. On the other side is more joy and authenticity than you could ever imagine.
Why do bad relationships take so much from us? How can we start reclaiming ourselves after losing our identity? In this episode, I’m joined by coach and founder of the You Get To Be You This Time program, Veronika Archer. We talk about how she helps people reclaim themselves after a relationship, and her upcoming summit.
When you’ve given up so much of yourself in your relationship, it’s hard to even know who you are. -Veronika Archer
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why we shouldn’t have to change ourselves in the right relationshipWhen a relationship is traumatic, challenging, or makes us disconnect from who we are, we lose touch with ourselves. That’s because we start believing something is wrong with us. Part of our healing journey is realizing that who we are is already great, and that someone can and will love us for it.
What holds people back from the process of rediscovering themselvesSociety puts us in boxes that require us to be more “normal” to fit in. When we do something that steps out of that box like getting a divorce, we often feel ashamed for not doing what’s deemed the right thing. When we start taking on other people’s projections of us, rather than seeing ourselves for who we really are, we lose ourselves.
The power we have to create the life we wantOne of the most necessary steps we have to take is recognizing and accepting that the situation didn’t happen to us. Certain patterns made us create the relationship we had.
The great thing is, if we created a bad situation, we also have the power to create a good, healthy, and fulfilling dynamic.
Guest Bio
Veronika Archer is the founder of the You Get To Be You This Time program where she works with people to break the cycle of traumatic relationships and create a life they love, even if they don’t believe it’s possible. She draws on her own life experiences of decades of emotional and psychological trauma, which she hadn’t even realized had occurred until her body fully shut down. After leaving her marriage of 16 years, she uncovered the hidden root causes and now lives a life with full physical health and joy! Using the tools she developed from years of research and trial and error, she now guides people to achieve this same success in creating a life, and love, where they get to be truly themselves. Veronika is committed to inclusivity in her practice and she is passionate about serving the LGBTQ community and people in alternative relationship structures. For more information, visit www.veronikaarcher.com.
To sign up for Veronika’s free summit, visit https://yougettobeyou.com/wendy.
Going through a divorce doesn’t just make us question ourselves, it can also shake our faith tremendously. It’s normal to ask our Higher Power why this is happening to us, and what we did to deserve this pain.
It can feel like the Universe is working against us, and that can make us want to turn our back on our faith, but this is when we need it the most. Faith is how we see past our temporary darkness and believe in the light ahead of us. Faith is how we stop being a victim of divorce and realize that this is happening to help us, not hurt us.
You’re meant for more than your unhappy marriage, and you’re meant for more than the pain you’re experiencing right now. When we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, all we can do is step out on the faith of knowing that the Universe has our back.
How can we lean into our faith as we go through a divorce? Why is it so important for us not to hold onto fear and suffering? In this episode, I share how our relationship with our faith can shift in divorce, and how we can find healing through it.
Faith is knowing the solution is already chosen for you and you will be guided to it at the right moment. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How faith is the ultimate healerIf we decide to see our divorce through a lens of suffering, and feel like God or the Universe is allowing this to happen to us, we’ll become fear-focused. This usually leads us to reach for short-term ways to fix or numb the pain. Faith is the long-term solution to truly heal from the pain.
- How to practice your faith in a divorceFaith is all about trusting the journey and surrendering to not knowing what’s next, but knowing that the Universe is doing this for us, not to us. Our divorce may be painful, but there’s something beautiful on the other side. In order to surrender, we have to detach from the outcome and trust the journey.
- What my divorce taught me about surrenderI used to think the word surrender meant giving up, that it was a sign of weakness and defeat. After going through my divorce, I’ve learned that surrendering means stepping into faith and trusting that everything will work out to make us better. This is where we find our healing.
Many of us worry that divorce will have long lasting negative impacts on our kids, that the trauma to our kids is inevitable. But if we come at the process from a place of love and understanding, we can minimize the trauma and stop it from affecting them in the long run.
That’s not always easy when we’ve already established a contentious dynamic with our exes.
It all comes down to keeping our children at the center of our decisions. If we agree to focus on our childrens’ best interests, we can escape the true cause of long-term trauma: nasty litigation.
How can we shift from a bitter dispute to an amicable co-parenting relationship?
In this episode, host of the critically acclaimed The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, Kate Anthony explains how putting our kids at the center of our divorce can make for a more amicable split.
It’s okay if you’re not amicable immediately. Divorce is a living, breathing entity that constantly evolves as you find and adjust your boundaries. -Kate Anthony
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How inner work fosters a friendlier dynamicTo create an amicable relationship, we have to know who we are, what we stand for, and where our boundaries lie. Self-reflection helps us understand what works for us, so we can communicate that to our co-parent.
How centering our childrens’ needs promotes more constructive litigationGoing into negotiations with our children in mind is like putting on a new pair of glasses, we can see everything more clearly. It’s much easier to see our ex-spouses’ point of view when we know their decisions have been based on the childrens’ wellbeing.
How to handle a hostile exDon’t force amicability. Every divorce goes through twists and turns, and it’s not always easy to be on friendly terms with an ex. Continue self-reflecting and deal with everything else as it comes.
Guest Bio:
Kate Anthony is the host of the critically acclaimed The Divorce Survival Guide
Podcast and the creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate is widely known as an expert in communication, co-parenting, divorce, and emotional intelligence.
To find out more, go to:
www.kateanthony.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/shouldistayorshouldigo/
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcesurvivalguide/?hl=en
A lot of us think signing divorce papers will give us a sense of relief, but that isn’t always the case. Many women continue to feel a deep connection to their exes even after paperwork has been finalized.
For women who have experienced this sensation, it’s more than missing a former spouse, it’s a deep, energetic pull. It’s a feeling of being bound to someone, even though we’re trying to move forward.
During romantic relationships, we share DNA with another person and ultimately parts of our souls are taken on by our partners, creating a powerful bond. Once the relationship ends, is it possible to sever that connection for good?
ThetaHealing®️ is a meditation process that promotes healing in multiple areas of life, including long-standing connections between former spouses. In this episode, I share my experiences of ThetaHealing®️, as both a practitioner and a patient.
If you’re still feeling a deep level connection with your ex long after signing divorce papers, you may need to heal your energy. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why we keep feeling connected to our exesWhen we have intense emotional encounters with another person, we share soul fragments with them at the ‘history’ level. The energies at this level offer important learning experiences, so while they can be resolved, they’re rarely deleted entirely.
How ThetaHealing®️ heals long-lasting woundsThetaHealing®️ uses focused thoughts and prayers to let us go into our subconscious minds where memories, sensations, beliefs, and attitudes are found. Once we enter a Theta state of mind, we have the power to change our realities instantly.
How a ThetaHealing®️ session worksBefore starting a session, we have to give permission to the practitioner to work with our energies. None of our beliefs, memories, or attitudes can be changed without our consent, and we decide what needs to be healed.
Next to the emotional fallout, finances tend to be the biggest challenge in any divorce.
From the fear of going down to one income to how the new financial dynamic will impact our children, it’s perfectly natural to worry about the financial implications of splitting up
Those fears come from a place of uncertainty because divorce is such a significant change in so many aspects of our lives.
In divorce, especially when it comes to finances, it’s critical that we intentionally design an exit strategy instead of being emotionally reactive. If not, we risk making the process harder, more expensive, and more emotionally draining than it needs to be.
How do we start the process of financially planning for life after divorce? How can we address the financial fears that come with divorce? What can we do to navigate an ex who shows love by buying things for the kids?
In this episode, I’m joined by Certified Divorce Coach® and Divorce Financial Analyst®, Debra Doak who shares how to dump our money fears!
Make strategic decisions, not emotional ones. If you can meet your financial needs, that’s going to get rid of some of the fear. -Debra Doak
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Sometimes the answer isn’t to divorce immediatelyFinancial implications are one of the reasons we need to be strategic about divorce. Instead of rushing to get out of the marriage, we might have to consider holding off filing. That allows us to fully consider how to get the best financial outcome for us and our children.
Avoid focusing on shiny objectsWhen the income that used to provide for one household has to provide for two, money isn't going to go as far. Our standard of living is going to go down, and the funds we’ll have to spend on our kids are going to be reduced. However, it is a challenge when our ex shows our kids love by buying them things, but remember it’s not a competition and what truly counts is the relationship we nurture with our kids.
Start with your end goalPart of divorce is remembering that we love ourselves enough to create a life for ourselves, and in doing so we get to plan for it and budget for it. If we do it with an expert, the sky’s the limit and we can actually create a great life and financial reality in the aftermath. It starts with us knowing our budget before we get to the negotiating table.
Guest Bio
Debra Doak specializes in helping women make hard decisions about marriage, divorce, money, and life. She is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Ohio Supreme Court trained Family Court Mediator, and the author of High Conflict Divorce for Women. She specializes in giving women the confidence they need to speak up in their relationships or at the negotiating table. Visit https://debradoak.com/ and Get Debra’s Exit Strategy Checklist here.
As we go through divorce, we’re going to experience our fair share of difficult emotions that make joy and peace feel out of reach. This includes bitterness and resentment.
While it’s normal to harbor some negativity towards our marriages and our exes, we can end up stuck and unable to heal or move forward.
As the saying goes, being resentful is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to be affected by it. Being bitter means you’re letting the past continue to hurt you and dictate how you feel. Letting that resentment go is critical if we want to find peace, joy and happiness.
It seems easier said than done to let go of the resentment you’ve held onto for so long, but you have way more control of it than anyone else does.
Why does resentment make it impossible for us to see our divorce as a gift? How can we start to reframe what makes us feel bitter and turn it into something that makes us grateful? In this episode, I talk about how to release resentment and stop being a prison of our past.
You don’t owe your ex any more emotional energy. Start channeling that emotional energy into visioning your future. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why being resentful is poisonousResentment leads to bitterness which creates other negative experiences in our lives. We won’t be able to recognize ourselves and those who love us will struggle to be around us. We also won’t be able to focus on all the good things we have going on... and we won’t move on.
How to reframe the past so it doesn’t control usThe factors leading up to our divorce are in the past and we can’t change them. The only thing we can do is stop letting the past control us. We can own the control that we have to create the future that we want.
What causes resentment and bitternessAnger turns into bitterness, which turns into resentment. We become stuck in resentment because we keep telling ourselves the same story over and over again. It’s critical that we start to reframe our divorces as something good for us so that we can change the narrative.
Divorce isn’t just the breakdown of a relationship, it’s also an emotionally distressing experience. When we go through the significant trauma of a breakup or a divorce, we trigger an initial emotional trauma, along with narratives and limiting beliefs they created.
We have a hard time recovering from divorce because it requires us to face and address the micro-traumas that contribute to and compound the bigger trauma of divorce.
We need to go deeper with our divorce trauma because it points to patterns that are keeping us stuck in unhealthy patterns of behavior, including our marriages. How does that initial micro-trauma affect our lives well into adulthood? How do we uncover the stories we created about ourselves so we can heal them?
In this episode, I’m joined by renowned “Conscious Co-Parenting Coach”, Dorcy Pruter. We talk about how we can heal from the trauma of divorce and all the other traumas we’ve experienced.
Taking responsibility is the first step of forgiveness. -Dorcy Pruter
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
- How to overcome patterns of blame and fearWe’re always operating from two filters and two levels of consciousness, our higher selves and our lower selves. High consciousness is love, forgiveness and responsibility. Low consciousness is fear, victim mindset, blame. How we move through a traumatic experience is determined by which filter we view our divorce through.
- How to take responsibility instead of passing blame.Everything in our lives is a manifestation of what we believe we deserve. There is power in taking responsibility for how we showed up in the marriage; and the fact that we sourced our marriages from our own limiting beliefs.
- What to do when micro-trauma resurfaces.True healing isn’t a matter of things not hurting anymore. Painful things will continue to come up, but when we do the work, we’re able to recognize the trauma and the stories behind them. It also allows us to recover faster because we have the tools to work through trauma.
Guest Bio
Dorcy is recognized as one of America’s Top Reunification Specialists, a “Conscious Co-Parenting Coach," who teaches divorcing parents, struggling with Attachment-Based Parental Alienation, how to reunite with their alienated children and resurface the bond that was obstructed. She teaches children “HOW to be in relationship with BOTH parents” and delivers high-impact reunification strategies that inspire left-behind parents to take immediate action and restore the relationships with their children. In just a few years, Dorcy created one of the world’s leading co-parenting companies, The Conscious Co-Parenting Institute, to meet the needs of parents wherever they are in the divorce process.
Visit www.consciouscoparentinginstitute.com for more information and free resources
Get a discount on Dorcy’s program Healing from Emotional Trauma. Get $100 off with the coupon code is DWGUIDE.
Our self-esteem can take a beating during our divorce. The sense that we’ve lost part of ourselves, the pity of others and feeling like a failure all contribute to it.
The good news is, self-esteem is something that can be rebuilt and it’s in our control. The aftermath of a divorce is a great opportunity to reclaim parts of ourselves that we compromised, sacrificed and lost in our marriage!
But we need to commit to releasing our past to do that.
How do we remind ourselves of our value, and begin to feel good about ourselves again? In this episode, I share how to get self-esteem back after divorce knocks it down.
If you stay stuck in reliving and clinging to what is no longer your reality, you won’t see the correct path to the next chapter of your life. -Wendy Sterling
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Change your focus to raise your self-esteemNegative thoughts come from us trying to drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror. If we keep shedding light on the negatives, we end up defining ourselves by them.
Understand how divorce can shake your identityBeing in a couple can make us build our identity around the relationship, and see ourselves in relation to someone else or the role we played in our marriage. When that goes away, it shakes our self-esteem.
The more we chase perfection, the lower our self-esteem becomesPerfection creates misery and feelings of failure, and trying to attain it destroys our self-esteem. When we say that we “should” or “must”, we get caught in the trap of believing there’s a better way to do something, and that our way is wrong.
For most people, the idea of a ‘happy divorce’ is incredibly confusing. How can those words even belong in the same sentence?
It’s possible to love an ex-spouse without being in love with them, and that’s what we need to aim for if we want to successfully co-parent with them.
Still, divorce can be a war zone and there are many landmines we have to get past if we want to be genuinely happily divorced.
The best way to move past the landmines is by agreeing to put our children first, in every decision we make.
On this episode, co-founders of Our Happy Divorce, Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond share how to move beyond the war zone and embrace a happier divorce.
There are landmines all over divorce. You can either avoid them or step on them, but you have to keep moving forward. -Ben Heldfond
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Take out the ‘co-’ and just be parentsWhen we choose to have children, we make a vow to protect them and put their best interests at heart. A divorce doesn’t need to change that, our children should always be at the center of our interactions.
Be upfront with new partnersOne of the biggest landmines we deal with in divorce is the prospect of our former spouse starting a new relationship. The best way to ensure our new partners respect our happy divorce dynamic is by being upfront about what we are trying to achieve.
Keep moving forwardIt’s easy to think back to how our former spouses used to be- but we have to acknowledge the changes they have made. Embrace the new person they’ve become and instead of dwelling on the past, commit to moving forward from every landmine we may encounter.
Divorce brings about a roller coaster of emotions like fear, anger and/or loss. And it is comforting to know that whatever you are feeling IS normal and others do experience similarly. Divorce brings about grief - grief of many things. Loss of the marriage, loss of your family, loss of the dreams you had and SO MUCH MORE. While we all grieve differently and for different reasons it is important to understand what the stages are and how they work.
Grief is a close counterpart of divorce recovery; expect it and allow it. You’re going to grieve the loss of the identity of what you thought your family would look like, the loss of love and companionship and the end of life as you knew it.
You may feel like grief brings nothing but pain, but this is temporary. It’s also necessary, and you’ll discover hidden silver linings and blessings within it. Grief is a process, and as you move through the journey, you will get stronger.
That’s why you need to embrace grief and allow it to happen. What are some of the ways grief will manifest itself in our lives? How do we move through grief and recover from it? In this episode, I talk about grief and why it’s the path to healing and recovery.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
What denial looks like
Denial is a normal stage in divorce. It often makes you feel numb or disconnected from what’s going on. Although you may give the appearance that all things are normal, you may just be letting the motions of your day to day carry you through instead of dealing with your emotions.
How to address anger
Our own anger is usually connected to the anger of other people that we’ve internalized. This could be our kids’ anger about breaking up the family, and our exes being angry at us for instigating the divorce. If you find yourself lashing out more, ask for support and for professional help
Why there’s no perfect way to grieve a divorce
Decide your own course, even if others don’t approve of it. Don’t try to fit your grieving into someone else’s opinion of how you should be handling your sadness. Have self-compassion, be patient with yourself and make sure you’re taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Living in an unhappy marriage and going through the process of divorce can feel like a constant internal tug-of-war, filled with guilt, regret and feelings of failure. The truth is, divorce is brutal and life changing and there is just no way around that.
But that doesn’t mean that being divorced is worse than staying in your marriage. Divorce doesn’t have to just be something you can survive. It can be the launching pad for the life you really want, and the catalyst for your incredible next chapter.
Divorce has its inevitable hard moments, but it’s worth fighting for your happiness, finding your inner voice and balance again. But to get there, we’re going to need to go through guilt and the reactions of our loved ones.
How can we avoid getting caught up in a downward spiral of guilt and shame? How do we deal with the reactions of our loved ones? In this episode, divorce litigator, divorce survivor and co-founder of Divorceify, Sonia Queralt talks about living in a miserable marriage, walking away from everything and building a new life that brings her joy.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How it feels being in an unhappy marriage
Being in a miserable marriage is lonely and isolating and we end up feeling like we’re living a double life; one life internally where we’re in pain and anguish and a whole other life we’re trying to portray outward. We carry the weight of pretending everything is great because we’re under so much pressure to portray the perfect marriage and family.
Why our families and friends can make it harder to go through divorce
When we start the process of getting a divorce, we shift from the loneliness of being in a bad marriage to the guilt and shame of having to tell our families. Sometimes our friends and families can keep us stuck in a bad marriage because of their judgment. Remember their judgment is a reflection of their discomfort with the situation, and them trying to fix it for us.
How to avoid the guilt and regret spiral
After a divorce, we can start to feel regretful that we didn’t get out of an unhappy marriage sooner. This shouldn’t be our focus though because it robs us of our joy and being able to actually enjoy this new chapter. Remember, what matters is that you were brave enough to take the step into your new chapter.
Guest Bio
Sonia is a divorce litigator, divorce survivor and co-founder of Divorcify. She dedicates her career to helping people going through divorce focus on making their happily ever after possible. Sonia earned her bachelor’s degree at American University and studied law at Northeastern University School of Law. She lives in New York with her husband, her 9 month old son and two cats, Bella and Ninja. “Divorce is brutal and life changing, there is just no way around that. To get through a divorce in the healthiest way possible, people need the right type of help that addresses their pain points and personal needs – divorce cannot be a one size fits all approach. Surrounding yourself with a safe space and the right team will make all of the difference. Trust me – I’ve lived it.”
Visit www.divorceify.com for more information and follow @divorceify on Instagram.
To get a Free 30 minute concierge session with Sonia send an email to sonia@divorceify.com.
Whether you wanted your divorce, saw it coming or not, life after splitting up won’t look the same as before. You’ll feel this especially and significantly when you have to experience your first big milestone post-divorce. For me it was my son’s graduation.
Leading up to it, there were so many raging emotions that made me dread the day.
Then I realized that I was allowing my past to dictate my present. I was letting anger and fear control me. We always have the power to choose what to do. How do we handle milestones within our new reality? What does moving on after divorce actually look like? How can we start to come from love and compassion instead of fear and anger towards our ex?
In this episode, I talk about an important lesson I learned as I experienced a challenging post-divorce day.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How to cut your emotional tether to your ex
When we are constantly triggered by everything our ex does or says, it shows that we are still tethered to them, and that they have a hold on us. Start creating your own lens and your own status, cut the cord and release yourself from them. This is how we can successfully reestablish our own identity outside of my marriage, relationship status or our ex.
Why anger is a trap
Continuing to be angry and replaying all the negative things in your mind takes away your power, and puts your focus on the wrong things. It also means that your ex wins because they control you.
The power of acceptance
Accepting where you are doesn’t mean giving up or resigning to the circumstances we’re facing. Acceptance allows us to get present to what is, and stop focusing on and experiencing the pain of what we think we lost.
Don't miss out on the Beyond Divorce Online Summit. It's loaded with tried and true methods that have helped many in your same situation (http://beyonddivorcesummit.com/)
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call.
One of the toughest challenges of going through a divorce is answering the question “what comes next”, and adjusting to the fear of not knowing the answer.
The truth is we grow and find peace when we lean into the fear of the unknown instead of trying to actively avoid it and be in control all the time. Surrendering is key.
But that means we have to sit with our uncertainty, instead of clinging to how things used to be or how they should be. It’s okay to feel nervous and uncomfortable when everything is changing. The problem arises when we try to fight the fear. How do we come to peace with the unknowns that come with divorce?
In this episode, I talk about how we can become more comfortable with uncertainty and maintain greater inner peace.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
The danger of telling ourselves stories when we feel uncertain
When we feel uncertainty, many of us try to fill the holes in our minds with stories to help us make more sense of the world. But creating our own stories takes us further away from what helps us grow, which is total acceptance.
Why we shouldn’t bury our emotions
When you sit with your emotions by yourself for too long and you sit in your own head, you just start creating emotional repression. The longer we bury our emotions, the more these negative emotions grow.
How to avoid loneliness
Don’t lone wolf it, while there are things we can do ourselves, like meditating and journaling, we need support and accountability. Unfortunately, we are our own worst accountability partners and as we go through divorce recovery we need more than ourselves to heal.
Don't miss out on the Beyond Divorce Online Summit. It's loaded with tried and true methods that have helped many in your same situation (http://beyonddivorcesummit.com/)
Healing from divorce is certainly not linear. You will have highs, lows and setbacks that trick you into believing that you’re regressing. It’s normal to crave an end to the challenges.
But setbacks are actually necessary. They are an important part of your road to recovery, and the path to a bigger and better outcome. Ultimately, setbacks help us set up for a comeback!
In order to recover from the end of our marriage, we’re going to relive some of our hardest moments, but also get the chance to deal with all the emotions and repercussions so that we can step into the next chapter healed.
How do we change how we react and respond to setbacks? What steps can we take to make sure our process of dealing with divorce is not self-destructive? In this episode, I share how setbacks help us heal and how to come to terms with divorce in a healthy way.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why you shouldn’t see your setbacks and failures
When we get the chance to look back on our setbacks, we often find that they were relatively minor hiccups and humps in the road, in comparison to all the great things we accomplish. Even the most successful people experience setbacks and hurdles.
How to empower yourself in the divorce process
While we can’t change the fact that our marriage ended, we can choose to feel through it and move forward in a constructive way. We need to own what we control and that’s our own thoughts, behaviors and reactions. These things control how we process and heal from divorce more than the circumstances we find ourselves in.
5 strategies to help you overcome your setbacks
Setbacks are part of the process of unpacking everything that comes with the end of our marriage, so that we can get to the other side and build the life we want. We need to allow the focus to be recovery and healing, not the fallout of our marriage. Our focus should not be on emotions and thoughts of bitterness and anger.
Don't miss out on the Beyond Divorce Online Summit. It's loaded with tried and true methods that have helped many in your same situation (http://beyonddivorcesummit.com/)
Going through a divorce is a difficult process as it is, no matter the circumstances or the people involved. Dealing with a narcissistic former partner doesn’t make things any easier.
A lot of the time, narcissists are determined to make the divorce process even harder than it needs to be, by withholding documents, filing a huge number of complaints and refusing to cooperate.
It can seem counterintuitive if we are trying to avoid conflict, but when it comes to divorcing a narcissist, the best thing we can do is be prepared for a fight.
How can we negotiate with a narcissist and do we even stand a chance of winning?
On this episode, top divorce attorney, bestselling author and media personality, Rebecca Zung shares how to negotiate with a narcissist and win!
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
How to identify different types of narcissists
Narcissist is a broadly-used term. We have to be able to distinguish the type of narcissist we’re dealing with: are they covert, grandiose or malignant? Knowing the difference can help us prepare to negotiate with them.
How to avoid getting sucked into the negativity of narcissism
We can be empathetic towards narcissistic former partners, but don’t make excuses for them. Having a bad childhood is devastating, but it doesn’t excuse mistreating others in adulthood.
What it takes to win against a narcissist
One of the most crucial ways to win negotiations against a narcissist is by getting leverage over them, but don't be hung up on finding huge smoking guns. Most of the time, leverage is found in the tiny details.
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Guest Bio
Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of divorce attorneys in the country and is a master negotiator, bestselling author and media personality. She has been featured on Extra, Dr. Drew, NPR, Time, Forbes and Huffington Post and more. She’s also a popular YouTuber, and is the creator of the program SLAY Your Negotiation with a Narcissist. Rebecca is the host of the Negotiate Your Best Life Podcast.
To find out more about Rebecca, head to:
www.rebeccazung.com
https://www.rebeccazung.com/negotiate-your-best-life-podcast
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/rebeccazung/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnhT4fBE1OWOn7c0Quxdf4w
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rebeccazung/
To find out about her S.L.A.Y. Your Negotiation with a Narcissist Program: https://www.slayyournegotiation.com/slayyournegotiationwithnarcissist?affiliate_id=2421027&aff_sub=&aff_sub2=&nopopup=false&noautoplay=false&cookiepreview=false
And find her books at:
Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win https://www.amazon.com/Negotiate-Like-YOU-T-T-R-ebook/dp/B07Y234TSX/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=rebecca+zung&qid=1588698042&sr=8-1
Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide
https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Free-Step-Step-Achieving/dp/0989833607/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1588698071&sr=8-2
To take advantage of Rebecca’s free giveaway, visit: Winmynegotiation.com
One thing I’ve discovered is that we are so often very unkind and judgmental of ourselves, in a way we’d never be to anybody else. We also tend to be unkind to ourselves when we need self-love and self-acceptance the most.
Our lack of self-compassion makes it harder for us to move through hard and challenging times like divorce.
You see, true self-love and acceptance goes beyond self-esteem and feeling good about ourselves when things are going well. We need to give ourselves kindness when we fail or things don’t go as planned. It comes to caring about ourselves no matter how fragile or imperfect we are.
What is the difference between self-love and self-compassion? How do we embrace self-compassion and maintain it through the highs and lows of our lives? In this episode, I talk about the power of self-compassion and the steps we can take to achieve it.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
Why self-compassion has advantages over self-esteem when things go wrong
Self-esteem only thrives when we’re getting praise from people, but that can easily run dry when we feel challenged by life or we face failure.
When we have self-compassion, we’re more resilient to face the challenges of life
Unlike self-esteem, the good feelings associated with self-compassion don’t depend on us needing to be more special or above anyone else.
Why self-compassion is a path to healing
By embracing self-compassion, we can come out of our divorce happier and more insightful than we were before.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call (https://calendly.com/wendysterling/15-minute-divorce-recovery-call).
The portrayal of divorce in the media doesn’t put people going through a split on a healthy or healing path. An acrimonious and bitter divorce does not create the inner narratives that bring emotional freedom or the legacy we want to give our children.
We require a space for patience and positivity, a process that will improve our lives going forward. This is where the Better Apart Method comes in.
What steps do we need to take to heal and live more wholeheartedly after a divorce? How do mantras envelope our thinking and change our way of being? How do we grieve our marriages in a constructive way?
In this episode, I’m joined by divorce lawyer mediator, author, speaker and founder of the Better Apart Method, Gabrielle Hartley. She talks about a different approach to divorce, and why it’s changing lives.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
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How to go from reacting in a heightened state to responding from a thoughtful and neutral place
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Gabrielle’s process for creating a shift in our narratives to get ourselves on the right track
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An insight into the difference between a broken home and a transformed home
Guest Bio
Gabrielle Hartley, Esq., is an experienced compassionate and effective divorce lawyer mediator, author and speaker. For the last 25 years, she has served couples in reaching a reasonable resolution. She is well-known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom and for launching The Positive Divorce Movement. Gabrielle founded The Better Apart Method, authored Better Apart; The Radically Positively Way to Separate and is the Founder of The Better Apart Method Online Certification.
For more information and to get Gabrielle’s Survive and Thrive giveaway, and to buy her 6-week online program visit gabriellehartley.com.
Buy Gabrielle’s book Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate on Amazon.
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Get 5 proven tips to get unstuck while waiting for your divorce to be done. Click here to download instantly. (https://www.wendysterling.net/5-Free-Tips-To-Move-Forward)
Divorcing a narcissistic spouse has its own unique set of issues and emotions. If we’re not equipped to deal with them, the breaking up and co-parenting process can be incredibly frustrating, especially when we’ve woken up to who this person truly is.
When narcissists realize that they are losing their pedestal status, we see another side of them, a side that’s actually triggered by fear. You see, a narcissist is terrified of what their identity means without the way we see them.
What actually drives a narcissist’s behavior? How do we cope with their manipulation tactics? In this episode, I talk about how to avoid falling into the old patterns with a narcissist, and how to stand in our own power.
3 Things You’ll Love About This Episode
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The truth about narcissism and why a narcissist’s ego is their only protection they have from the world.
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How to overcome the manipulation of narcissists, and how they objectify people.
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How we can claim our space without falling into old dynamics with a narcissist ex.
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Get 5 proven tips to get unstuck while waiting for your divorce to be done. Click here to download instantly. (https://www.wendysterling.net/5-Free-Tips-To-Move-Forward)
Divorce can truly be the greatest gift that we can give ourselves. Many people going through it are so focused on what they think they’ve lost, that they are completely unaware of what they are gaining.
This leads to them focusing on the past and seeking some way to punish themselves or their soon-to-be ex, instead of looking forward to their next best chapter. It’s so critical to start to change the focus so that we come out on the other side happier and ready to create the life we want.
What is the difference between emotional reactions and practical responses? How do we set ourselves up for a less negative divorce process? In this episode, I’m joined by nationally recognized Family Law and Mediation Attorney and podcast host, Susan Guthrie. She draws on 30 years of helping clients and her own divorce experience, and shares the roadmap to getting through divorce.
3 Things We Learned From This Episode
The difference between being past-focused and future-focused
Many people going through divorce use the process to seek revenge or retribution, or to hold onto the past, but in order to create the future we want, our approach to divorce needs to be different. Susan shares what a future-focused approach to divorce looks like in this podcast.
How to Create Your Divorce Roadmap
The first step is to get an idea of what divorce looks like in your state and what the process will entail. The basics of divorce are how assets will be divided, alimony and custody and co-parenting.
Why litigation in divorce can make things worse
Mediation is a different approach to litigating. In litigation, the mindset is focusing on the things that brought about the divorce and the facts of the broken relationship, and using that to bolster the case and throw blame. Meditation focuses on creating a new future for your family that works for everyone.
Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world and provides curated resources to those experiencing divorce through her business, Divorce in a Better Way. With a podcast that has been listened to more than 3 million times, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. For more information, visit www.divorceinabetterway.com. Listen to the podcast www.divorceandbeyondpod.com.
Watch Susan’s Top 5 Tips for a Successful Divorce video here https://youtu.be/CO9U61PX6Cg
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Get 5 proven tips to get unstuck while waiting for your divorce to be done. Click here to download instantly. (https://www.wendysterling.net/5-Free-Tips-To-Move-Forward)
There are so many negative emotions that come with divorce, including fear. We fear what the future holds, how different life will be, and all of this changes the way we view ourselves and the world around us.
When fear creeps in and negativity takes over, the lens we start seeing through is one of lack, doubt and darkness. Our thoughts become our experiences and our realities, making it hard for us to see past what we’re going through.
These feelings make it hard for us to move forward and we’ll remain stuck and paralyzed. We’ll also miss out on the love that will help us heal and start a new chapter.
What can letting go of fear and embracing love do for our lives moving forward? How can we let go of fear from the past and return to love? How do we learn to navigate the loss of the end of our marriage? In this episode, I talk about how to shift from fear to love, acceptance and ownership.
3 Things We Learned From This Episode
Let go of victimhood
When you’re going through a hard time, it’s easy to want to blame someone else. Holding onto blame makes you a victim, and gives that other person control over you and your reality.
Accept where you are
By making peace with the darkness and all our insecurities; and accepting and embracing ourselves, we can actually overcome fear because it no longer controls us.
Put your focus on love
We tend to focus on controlling outcomes or circumstances, which breeds fear, resentment, frustration and sadness.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call.
Sometimes it feels like society tells us that showing our pain is a sign of weakness, and this is especially true for people going through a divorce.
We put pressure on ourselves to portray an image that we’re doing great even when we’re having a hard time.
There is no template for how we should look or feel as we struggle through the pain of divorce, but the truth is, we will struggle with sadness, loneliness, doubt and fear.
Part of my work is to take the shame and embarrassment out of divorce to allow and give permission for women to feel their pain without feeling weak. How do we cope with the hard days of divorce? How can we rediscover ourselves and also stop feeling ashamed of having those bad days?
In this episode, I share how to navigate the emotions of divorce and reasons to appreciate this new season in your life.
3 Things We Learned From This Episode
You are allowed to feel crappy as you go through a divorce
As you go through divorce, you’re going to have different feelings from one day to the next. Sometimes you will feel good, other times you will feel sad, and this is normal. There’s no need to pretend that you are happier than you are. In fact, our healing comes from going through all these emotions.
Being single can be really good for you
Being single doesn’t have to be a lesser experience than being in a relationship. In an uncoupled state, you can allow for growth, self-improvement, authenticity and joy.
Get to know yourself on your own terms
Many women lose themselves in their marriages, divorce creates the opportunity to get reacquainted with yourself, and even discover new things about yourself. What you learn will set up a path to a happier and more fulfilled life.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call.
We all have self-criticism and self-sabotaging voices that hold us back, the dreaded inner critic. This voice wants to make us more acceptable to others by criticizing and correcting our behavior, so we don’t get rejected or hurt.
They are built on expectations placed on us by parents, caregivers, peers and the media; not on what actually fulfills us. It’s an attempt to control you by molding you to the world’s criteria and that you’re broken. You’re not broken, you’ve just been believing your inner critic for far too long.
If you’re struggling with negative self-talk and wondering how to silence those voices, what are the first steps you need to take? How do we separate ourselves from our inner critics?
On this episode, I talk about how to stop succumbing to the pressure of the inner critic, how to actually work with your inner critic to get more desirable outcomes and see the voices as a catalyst for growth.
3 Things We Learned From This Episode
How the inner critic can trigger a disruptive cycle
Your inner critic collaborates with other not-so-helpful parts of ourselves that when they get out of control create more harm than good. This is the pleaser, the rule maker and the perfectionist.
Why the inner critic holds us back
The inner critic wants to protect us and keep us safe, but it tends to go on a power trip when we let it take control. If we listen to it too much, we’ll remain stuck, limited and living in fear of being ourselves.
How to separate ourselves from our inner critics
The part of our personalities that we developed to protect ourselves is a small piece of who we are, not all of us. If we make our inner critic ruler of everything we think and do our relationships, work and self-esteem will plummet.
Need an opportunity to share your pain points and receive judgment-free support? Want to create a vision of a future after your divorce? Click here to schedule your Free Divorce Recovery Call.
Free but scared and empty, that’s how I felt the moment I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I knew that it wasn’t working, and I couldn’t recognize myself when I looked in the mirror, and I didn’t know who I was without him.
This was the beginning of my journey to becoming a divorced recovery specialist.
To initiate my true transformation, I had to search for answers, rediscover myself, stand in my power and design a life I love. I know it’s not an easy process because I’ve been on that journey.
If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know how to get your transformation going, I’m here to tell you that you can do it. Whether you’re still deciding whether to stay or go, about to file, going through the divorce or you’re on the other side of it, this podcast is for you.
Welcome to The Divorced Woman’s Guide Podcast. I’m so happy you’ve decided to join me on this journey. Together, we are going to rediscover your identity and use your voice to design a life you love!
3 Things We Learned From This Episode
How little changes will add up to big results
Instead of envisioning change as something huge, start seeing the smallest little shifts leading to the largest rewards. As a divorced woman, it doesn’t take great leaps to get better, even though it feels like. It takes a commitment to change. I’m here to help you start making these shifts.
How to change your mindset to get through divorce
Your mindset is key to navigating your divorce. It’s important to change how you see and feel about yourself. By becoming more aware of how you speak to yourself, you can start retraining your brain to create the new thought patterns that will take you into your next best life.
Figuring out who you are again is part of the process
Like many women going through divorce, I found myself in a conflict between who I was in my marriage and who I was at work. At work, they know who I was and how to use my voice. In my marriage, I had lost my voice and my sense of identity. This is common and I did overcome this conflict.
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward? Get 5 proven tips to get unstuck while waiting for your divorce to be done. Click here to download instantly.