"Relationship DIY" DIY Relationship Skills with Julie Colwell, PhD.: Recent Episodes
"Relationship DIY" DIY Relationship Skills with Julie Colwell, PhD.
If you know me, you know how much I appreciate having the right tool for the job. I love the satisfaction of getting the perfect wrench to loosen that darn rusted nut, or having the instructions specify “drill using a 5/16” bit” and having THAT EXACT BIT.
Similarly, I’ve amassed a whole chest of tools and practices for creating more expanded consciousness. These will help you shift out of the stuckness and suffering of Reactive Brain and back into Creative Brain, or they’ll simply support you to feel even more expanded and creative than you already feel.
My plan is to intersperse teaching you about my favorite consciousness power tools with other topics I blog on. Try them out, practice them, gain some mastery in using them. Over time, you’ll discover your own satisfaction—in having the right tool for the job.
POWER TOOL #1: THE INNER MAP
I’ve been developing the Inner Map for the past ten years.* At this point, it’s simply second nature for me know where I am on the Map. Like the temperature gauge on the car dash, the Inner Map gives ongoing feedback on whether all is well, things are easy and cool, or whether something is happening to cause overheating and possible seizing up of the engine.
The Inner Map is such a useful and versatile tool. I want to be sure you get the most out of it, so will introduce different aspects of it over the next few blogs.
Step One:
Download a copy of the map here. Here’s what it looks like:
Get to know your way around it. Knowing your location on the Map will tell you when you are best able to solve problems, cooperate with others, have true connection, and operate in ease and flow. Or, alternatively, when you need to slow down, stop to put some more oil in the system or take time to hang out in the next rest area.
First, orient yourself to the vertical line. Start at the bottom with Shame and look up the line to Guilt, Despair, etc. These are states that start at the most contracted (Shame has very little movement, little more than Death; in fact, when mammals are in Shame they are a deeply frozen response, an anesthetized response that is preparing them for death). As you move up the line, each state has a little more energy, more space, is somewhat more expanded. In fact, Hawkins saw the movement up the line as creating exponentially more energy.
As you start to orient yourself, understand that this isn’t about higher is better. In fact, though the Inner Map you’re looking at is two-dimensional, a much more accurate version of how this works is the model of the Hoberman Sphere. Check this out:
http://juliacolwell.com/-content/uploads/2017/03/Hoberman_Sphere_test1.mp4Now look back at the Map and find the horizontal line (aka, “The Line). That is an important demarcation, one we’ll come back to over and over. It’s the difference between being in Reactive Brain and Creative Brain. Anytime we perceive a threat, we go into Reactive Brain. How do you know you’re in Reactive Brain? You don’t feel good. You might feel adrenalized and focused, but you don’t have a sense of relaxation and ease that are the hallmarks of Creative Brain. As you start to pay attention, you may notice a sense of slight nausea and stiffness. Or, as your own Reactive Brain intensifies, tune into the full-out rapid pulse, muscle contraction, narrow focus, increased blood pressure, and other classic symptoms of the fight/flight/freeze response.
OK, that’s a good start on the Inner Map. Once you’ve downloaded the Inner Map, your homework from today is to pay attention to your state. Watch for when you’re Above the Line (in Creative Brain) or Below the Line (Reactive Brain); you may even be able to tell what more specific state you’re in.
I’m teaching a (Core) Essentials Retreat Weekend March 17-19. This is a fabulous way to learn these tools intimately!
*Note that the Inner Map is based on David Hawkins’ brilliant Map of Consciousness, that he introduced in Power vs Force, 1994, Veritas Publishing Co)
The post Power Tool #1: The Inner Map first appeared on Julia B. Colwell, Ph.D..
http://juliacolwell.com/-content/uploads/2016/10/Meditation-Reactive-Brain-to-Creative-Brain-102016-9.31-PM.mp3Use this meditation to shift out of Reactive Brain and into Creative Brain.
The post Meditation: Reactive Brain to Creative Brain first appeared on Julia B. Colwell, Ph.D..
In this podcast, Dr. Colwell describes a tool that will give you true power in your relationship with yourself: Finding yourself on the Inner Map. Once you locate yourself (by noticing your thoughts as they reflect your inner state) you can learn to generate a new, more expanded state.
The post Podcast #10: Creating a Powerful Relationship Between You and You appeared first on Julie Colwell.
Life gives us ongoing opportunities to make a choice: Do we go to sleep, relying on automatic responses, just getting by? Or--what about showing up? Dr. Colwell tells you how to take this step into aliveness and creating flow in every relationship.
The post Relationship DIY Podcast #9: Show Up! appeared first on Julie Colwell.
Have you ever felt like you were getting swept away by emotion? Had an interaction with someone where one (or both) of you were going DOWN? In this podcast, Dr. Colwell takes you through a concrete, easy-to-remember picture about what to do when in an emotional flood: Just get to the shore!
The post Relationship DIY Podcast #8: Get to the shore! appeared first on Julie Colwell.
The SHIFT: Moving from Reactive Brain to Creative Brain. The skill for getting out of relationship conflict is to notice when you're in Reactive Brain and then know how to move into Creative Brain. In this episode, Dr. Colwell gives you an introduction to this powerful ability.
The post Relationship DIY Podcast Episode #7 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
The Tyranny of Reactive Brain Have you wondered why seemingly mild-mannered people escalate in relationships? Or why one moment you know that all is well, and the next your mind totally changes? In this episode Dr. Colwell walks us through some of the ins and outs of what it means to be in Reactive Brain, [...]
The post Relationship DIY Episode 6 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
“Living the biggest relationship you can imagine.” Have you always wanted intimate relationships that will support your essential nature, that will take you into greater and greater possibilities for your own self and the deepest, most passionate connection? Dr. Colwell describes how to create those relationships--that are possible for just about anyone! [...]
The post Relationship DIY Episode 5 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
“Living the biggest relationship you can imagine.” Have you always wanted intimate relationships that will support your essential nature, that will take you into greater and greater possibilities for your own self and the deepest, most passionate connection? Dr. Colwell describes how to create those relationships--that are possible for just about anyone! [...]
The post Relationship DIY Episode 4 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
Listening to your body.” Did you know how crucial it is to be able to notice and describe your body sensations? Dr. Colwell helps you tune into your body to find this simple and powerful technique, key to communicating your experience to yourself and others. Check here for episode [...]
The post Relationship DIY Episode 3 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
“Would you rather be right or be happy?” Knowing how difficult it is to give up being right (and all the blame and struggle that goes with that), Dr. Colwell introduces the tool that opens the door to happiness: Speaking the Unarguable Truth. Check here for episode 3!
The post Relationship DIY Episode 2 appeared first on Julie Colwell.
30,000 Feet View: The Four Pathways to Galvanizing your Relationships. Dr. Colwell gives you the map to follow to create amazing relationships: Would you rather be right or be happy?; listening to your body; the route to true power; how to live the biggest relationship that you can imagine. Check here for Episode [...]
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Listen to Julie's interview with Tami Simon of Sounds True, part of a series produced by Sounds True called "Deepening Intimacy-First Aid for Love." This 14 part series is available at Sounds True.
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Audio Comments: Treasure Blog Last Saturday, I taught a class to the Intensive Learning Community (the ILC, the ongoing community of learners committed to living consciously) that is about skills to take us beyond living from intention. As I've explored living from and into essence over the years, I've discovered some of the [...]
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