Reuben Recommends: Recent Episodes

Reuben Wachs

Hey, my name is Reuben Wachs and I'm a trainee counsellor. I believe that finding great resources and theories can change your life and as a result, I have a passion for sharing what I find with you!

In Reuben Recommends, I mix it up by either taking you on a deep dive into a particular psychology, counselling or philosophy theory, or we keep it casual and I share my favourite books, podcasts and videos of the last four weeks.

Each solo episode comes out on the 1st of each month and the guest episodes come out on the 15th.

I hope you enjoy the podcasts!

This is a recording of a live talk I gave at a tech company called Kaluza. If you'd like to book me to give a talk at your company or charity you can reach me on reubenwachs@gmail.com

Everything I talk about is linked below:

RESOURCES

Counselling Directory - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan Chatterjee

The Stress Solution - Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Stutz - Netflix

Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTw

How to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149s

How to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66s

QUOTES ON SELF
‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows

‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung

‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera

‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus

WORK QUOTES
“Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss

‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss

‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Everything I talk about is linked below:

RESOURCES

Counselling Directory - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan Chatterjee

The Stress Solution - Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Stutz - Netflix

Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTw

How to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149s

How to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66s

QUOTES ON SELF
‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows

‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung

‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera

‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus

WORK QUOTES
“Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss

‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss

‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Hey I hope you all enjoyed the talk I gave at CAE Technology on Point.

Here is the list with everything I mentioned in the talk:

RESOURCES:
4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan Chatterjee
The Stress Solution - Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Stutz - Netflix
Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTw
How to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149s
How to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66s

QUOTES ON SELF:
‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung
‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera
‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows
‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus

WORK QUOTES:
“Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss
‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss
‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Happy 2023 everyone and I hope you enjoy the video!

After watching, if you're interested at all and you’ve got any questions such as, why not just vegetarian instead of vegan? Or where do you get your protein from? Then please feel free to message me and ask

You can find the things I mentioned below:

The Game Changers - Netflix

Earthling Ed’s Ted Talk - Arguments Against Veganism - Youtube

A Meat Eater’s Case For Veganism - Youtube

Gousto

Sending you all big love!

Hi and welcome to the Annual Reuben Awards where I give you my top recommendations for 2023!

Here is everything that is mentioned in the podcast!

Best Non-Fiction
No bad parts - Richard Schwartz
Stolen focus - Johann Harri

Best Fantasy
Lord of the silver boy (Troy) - David Gammel
The Blade Itself - Joe Abercrombie

Sci-Fi Speaker of the dead - Orsen Scott Wells

Best Comedy/enjoyable Book
And away… - Bob Mortimer
First Person Singlular - Murakami

Overal best Book
First Person Singlular - Murakami
No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

Best Podcast
Sam Harris Waking Up
Hey riddle riddle

Best film: Letterboxd
Everything Everywhere All At Once
Top Gun Maverick
The Last Duel
CODA
The King

Best documentary
Stutz
Tim’s Vermeer
The Making of Arcane

Series:
Severance
Arcane
Cheer

Best album:
Low Island - If You could have it all again
Khruangbin - Mordechai

Best video:
Guy knocking down dominos
https://twitter.com/OnlyZans/status/1569416356839280640

Best idea or concept
Top Idea in Your Mind
Taking action Triangle of life

Best purchase
Blackout eye mask

Most important change in my life
Switching departments at work
Taking action
Top idea in your mind

Favourite fact
Griezman having 3 separate kids born on the same day

NASA mission controllers for the Apollo mission - their average age was 21 when the mission started and when they did the impossible they were an average of 28

Favourite quote
FEEL THE FEAR...AND DO IT ANYWAY
Often we think, 'I'll do it when I am not so afraid.' But in reality, it works the other way round. The 'doing it' comes before the fear goes away. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.

The Five Truths about Fear
1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow. 2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out... and do it! 3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out... and do it! 4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else. 5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from feeling helplessness. 6. I'll Handle It! ---- Susan Jeffers

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters Written by Portia Nelson

‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

‘Animals are my friends, and I don’t eat my friends’ - George Bernard Shaw

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” — Attributed to Rabindranath Tagore

‘It is perfectly human to be afraid and, while afraid, that one is still obliged to live one’s life and to undertake one’s journey.’ (Hollis, 1994 p. 90)

Robert Hilleger says, ‘Shame started as a two-person experience, But as I got older I learned to do shame all by myself.”

Welcome to my first edition of What Have I Learned This Month?

In this episode, I talk about:
Limits on your emotions
The importance of releasing anger
The power of the group
Acceptance
Receiving compliments
How it can only takes a couple times to become much more comfortable with something
Feedback
Not judging others

I hope you enjo

Today I discuss Paul Graham's blog post 'The Top Idea In Your Mind' and how what we naturally drift to in the shower is more important than you think

I also spend a few minutes covering perfectionism and our journey as human's and therapy clients

Subscribe to know when the next monthly episode comes out

I hope you enjoy!

In today's episode with Catherin Llewellyn, we talk about:
Blame
When we hold other people accountable for our suffering
When we need everything to be right to feel joy?
How people learn from who they decide to learn from
How to facilitate others growth
And building resilience

I hope you enjoy!

You can find Catherine's work and contact details at:
Website: Yesyounow.today
Podcast: Truth & Transcendence
E-book - What is Humanistic Coaching and Why do we Care?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Humanistic-Coaching-Why-Care-ebook/dp/B01BYNJNYK/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2NSJVB4PS63TW&keywords=humanistic+coaching&qid=1651498905&s=books&sprefix=humanistic+coaching,stripbooks,106&sr=1-3

In this episode Amy takes us through an exercise called a Should Detox.

Working on how we speak to ourselves and others can drastically change our lives and I think you'll all enjoy what Amy brings here.

You can find her at

www.wholeheartedaf.com

or at wholehearted.af on instagram

Enjoy!

Today we're talking about why you should consider choosing joy and play in your everyday decisions and in your weekly and monthly plans.

Play is a fundamental way that we create joy in our lives and it is often one of the fastest ways into creating great relationships. I believe that this is an essential part of life that we miss out on when talking about our health and happiness and I was glad to hear Amy's thoughts on how to bring it more into our lives.

Amy Guerrier is a play facilitator and practitioner, as well as being a renowned coach. You can find out more about her at www.wholeheartedaf.com and at wholehearted.af on instagram, where you can reach out to her for 1-2-1 or group coaching.

It was a joy to talk with Amy and I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did.

Have a great May!

Disclaimer - Talk of childhood sexual abuse in this episode. Please take care of yourself if you feel that this may bring up things for you.

This recording is from a presentation I gave on my counselling training about the impact of trauma in the therapy room.

In it I discuss:

Trauma
Shame
Treatment
Splitting
Dissociation
and Projective Identification.

I hope that the episode is useful

This week we discuss the unspoken silence of men's suffering.

We cover a ton of ground and we really hope that you enjoy the episode.

To find out more about Nick and his fantastic events, you can find him on facebook at:

Brothership Connection: https://www.facebook.com/groups/668263904528233/

and at his website: https://www.nicholasmalin.com/online-group-work/

The two books I recommend are:

Under Saturn's Shadow by James Hollis

and The Truth by Neil Strauss

Enjoy!

Welcome to the first Annual Reuben Awards. Here is everything that is mentioned in the episode!

Best Non-Fiction Book:
Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrists Memoir by Irvin Yalom

Best Fiction Book:
Schopenhaur’s Cure by Irvin Yalom
When Nietzsche Wept Irvin Yalom
Monma and The Meaning of Life: Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom

Best Comedy Book:
Round Ireland With A Fridge by Tony Hawks

Most Useful Book:
A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen

Overal best Book:
The Schopenhauer Cure - Irvin Yalom

Best Podcast:
Hey Riddle Riddle
Dungeons and Daddies
Armchair Expert
Tim Ferriss show

Best film:
Bo Burnham - Inside
The King
Jojo Rabbit

Best Series:
Ted Lasso
Love on the Spectrum

Best album:
Kacy Hill - Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me Again

Best video:
Chris D’Elia reacts to Hilarious You spin me right round Jesus cover - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sky-iP-j4iI
Chris D’Elia reacts to most Italian family ever - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4vza3UdJP4

Best idea or concept:
Free Will by Sam Harris
Lying by Sam Harris

Jon Hopkins - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozWfP91RXkM

Best Purchase over £100:
Subpac - https://subpac.com/what-is-the-subpac/

Best purchase under £100:
AirPods

Most important change in my life:
Yoga - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTw

Favourite Fact:
Valcono in 1815 caused year with no summer in 1816 which lead to the price of oats going so high that loads of horses died and indirectly lead to the invention of the bicycle

Favourite Quote:
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.”
- Anne Frank

Have a wonderful 2022

Hi everyone,

I have decided to share my live appearance on the Delightful Dissent Podcast with Matthew Bellringer.

In this podcast we discuss the accusation of 'you've changed' and also how we should desire people to change. We also cover how we should be using the eastern view of compassion and acceptance to bring about positive change.

I hope you enjoy the conversation!

Is it possible to help someone who doesn't want help? In today's episode I am going to share with you some ways that will hopefully shed some light on this idea.

I cover:
Why they may not want to get help
How to communicate with them through the LEAP method
What to do when you finally offer help
and How to work on yourself to improve your chances

Thanks to Dr Xavier Amador and his book I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help for the amazing work.

Enjoy!

In this episode I recommend:

Becoming Myself by Irvin Yalom
When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin Yalom
The Lazarus Heist podcast
Ted Lasso
Inside by Bo Burnham
Funny Dreams podcast

and then I share two fun facts and two lovely quotes.

Have a wonderful October

Hey there, a reminder that this is the second half of the Life Script podcast, so if you haven't had a chance to listen to that first, I'd highly recommend you jump back to episode #7 and then you'll be able to enjoy this one even more.

In the second half of Life Scripts, we cover the 6 script patterns of:

Until
After
Always
Never
Almost 1 & 2
Open Ended

And the 5 main drivers:

Be Perfect
Please Others
Be Strong
Try Hard
Hurry Up

I use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow.

I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening.

Have a fantastic month!

Here it is! 2 months in the making but hopefully worth the wait!

In this episode we go on a journey into understanding your Life Script through Transactional Analysis. I use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow.

In the podcast I talk through:
What is the Script?
The Script in adult life
Life positions
Injunctions & Counter-Injunctions
Your Script process
& Drivers

I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening.

Have a fantastic month!

Today we're talking about a core counselling and psychology theory: The Ego-States.

Please note: I am using the book TA Today by Stewart & Joines to base my understanding of the theory and therefore I use examples and quotes throughout the podcast. I don't cite throughout however, otherwise it would interrupt the flow. If you would like to learn more then I highly recommend buying the book.

In this episode we go into:

The basics of Parent, Child, Adult and why it’s applicable in therapy and in life.
Splitting each of the parent and child states in two. Looking at the Controlling Parent / Nurturing Parent at the top, and then Adapted (compliant) Child / (care) Free Child at the bottom.
Showing how each state we are in can be positive and negative, and how that affects you and those around you.
Then lastly, we’re gonna talk about the slogans and beliefs that we’ve picked up from our parents or our own childhood, which still creep into and occasionally control our lives.

Next month will be TA Life Scripts.

I hope you enjoy the episode!

Welcome everyone to my first interview, with the wonderful Nicholas Malin.

In this episode we talk about:

The Basics of What Is The Shadow
How Does it Often Turn Up
Why We Need to Integrate The Shadow
Projection
How to Spot the Shadow
How to Work on the Shadow

Nick also leads us through an exercise and a 6 minute meditation at the end.

I hope you enjoy this conversation and you can find Nick at:

https://www.facebook.com/nic.malin

https://nicholasmalin.com/

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/nicholas-malin-3324341aa

See you in June!

Welcome to the big philosophical chat about knowing when you're struggling, happiness, meaning and whether we can and should want to change the people around us.

Including 2 new jingles for you!

Philosophy Rap:
https://soundcloud.com/reuben-wachs/philosophical-flow/s-5wOKLKmwgcn

Exercise Break: https://soundcloud.com/reuben-wachs/exercise/s-vUrwCDd5UKz

Here is everything mentioned in the podcast:

Viktor Frankl - Man's Search For Meaning: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=1HF3dPZ6TF&rank=1

Bertrand Russel - Conquest of Happiness: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51783.The_Conquest_of_Happiness

Round Ireland with a Fridge: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23316.Round_Ireland_with_a_Fridge?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=swz9bfXEUR&rank=1

Podcasts

Amy poehler: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/id1345682353?i=1000511086639

Sam Harris: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/making-sense-with-sam-harris/id733163012?i=1000516062451

See you in two weeks for an interview on Shadow Work with the amazing Nick Malin!

Resources Mentioned:
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
Bootcamp For The Brain by Derren Brown

Video: https://www.redbull.com/us-en/videos/from-avoriaz-with-love-speedriding-valentin-delluc

It took a few seconds to load, so just click it, wait & full screen!

In this episode I talk about what codependence is and how it can play a part in your relationships. I also go into Derren Brown's new audible series, which looks at how the brain works through behavioural economics.
Lastly, I share some lovely quotes and some fun facts!

I hope you enjoy part 2 of episode 2!

Hey everyone,

In this episode I focus on Internal Family Systems Therapy and I explain how using this in your life can be incredibly beneficial for yourself and those around you.

(Small trigger warning: I talk about concepts that may make you self reflect on past events. If you’d rather not do this, then don’t worry and it’s fine to just skip this episode)

Books mentioned:
Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz
The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haigt

Part 2 will be coming out in two weeks and will be about:
Facing Co-dependence by Pia Mellody
Derren Brown's Boot Camp for the Brain
+ Quotes and Facts

Song: by Reuben Wachs

If you’d like to reach out to me about recommendations or anything in the podcast then my email is reubenwachs@gmail.com

I hope you enjoy the episode!

All links mentioned: https://reubenwachs.wixsite.com/my-site/post/1-yalom-philosophy-psychotherapy-negotiation-feminism-and-abuse-quotes-and-facts

Hey everyone,

I hope you enjoy today's podcast which recommends two books, four podcasts, a hilarious video and a wicked series for you to enjoy over the next month. I also finish with a couple powerful quotes and two great new facts.

I love sharing resources as I believe they can have a hugely positive impact on people's lives as they have done for me.

If you have any questions, recommendations or thoughts on the things mentioned in the podcast, please reach out to me at reubenwachs@gmail.com

Hey, my name is Reuben Wachs and I am a trainee counsellor and a lover and sharer of audio content and books.

On Reuben Recommends, I will be sharing my favourite books, audiobooks, podcasts and videos of the last month. Plus, I’ll be sharing my favourite quotes and facts.

For any links mentioned, please visit my blog: https://reubenwachs.wixsite.com/my-site

To keep track of my ongoing reading, you can follow me on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/89300378-reuben-wachs

To contact me with any questions, recommendations or whether you wanna chat about any resources I have shared, please contact me at reubenwachs@gmail.com

I hope you enjoy!