Ruby the Galactic Gumshoe: Recent Episodes
Meatball Fulton
Ruby is the tough, intergalactic detective at the heart of this expansive storyworld, where sci-fi meets film noir in the style of Blade Runner, but with a unique blend of slapstick comedy, cosmic consciousness, and stunning sound design. In this third season – a fan-favorite and great introduction to the series – Ruby traverses space and time as she investigates a dark force coming from Magnifico, the City of Malls.
The Archipelago Awakens. At The Cafe Garcon. Return Of The Rodent. The Islands of Twitter & Tweet.
(THE ANDROID SISTERS) It is easy to turn me on. It is easy to turn me off. We are easy. Now, the proper sequence .... Place your lip - here. Bite me gently – here. Now take your hand and move it – here. Now lower ... Oooo. Not too fast. Not to slow. Do you see how easy it is? We could drive you crazy in an instant. Shame on you.
He was the guy who programmed Angel Lips. I entered a cool tiled courtyard. There was a fountain in the center with a couple of caged parrots. A few other earth-like animals would wander through. I figured they were all animal-droids. A duck came by and took a drink from the fountain. I wanted to see if it was real - I gave its tail a little yank - the droid let out a quack.
I was surrounded by a gang of Zoot Mutants – high tech punks with shimmer suits. Sort of futuristic zoot suits - what’s really laser harnesses that emit shifting hologram images combined with their own lovely misshapen mutant bodies. As they say, you never can be certain what’s suit and what’s Zoot ... they didn’t think that was funny.
(TERU) Your toes? I love to play with your toes, your little android toes. Your nose? l like the way they simulated the sound of your breath with those little speakers hidden up your nostrils. I wish you could breathe. You would have the sweetest smelling breath in the world. It would smell like Styrofoam coffee cups!
(TERU) A Slimy blaster caught the Tookah dead center, it was loaded with an inflatable. The Tookah puffed up, and then exploded. Tentacles went flying all over the place. The rodent was quick, he took out the first Slimy. I yanked out my automatic and I fired - I missed. I fired again, I missed. Then I hit the power board, the lights blew out. I flipped on my infrareds and saw the rodent scurry down a trap door. I dove in after him. It was an underground sewer. Oh my god, it stunk. The little rat looked right at home down there.
It’s a place of meditation, where you can deal with your illusions about life, if you have any. Shadows lengthen, contract ... It doesn’t take long for your mind to join in and start sculpting these shadows into ... I don’t know, old dreams, old loves, lost loves. It’s a nice place to sit and meditate, and wonder what the hell’s the point?
We enter a large arena. The moles are climbing over each other to get to the best seats. The best seats were the ones furthest from the playing area. I’m beginning to wonder about this game.
Not a place for a nice lady like me. I knew as soon as I entered they’d be crawling all over themselves to get to me. The place was filled with Android hookers, so with a few changes, I passed myself off as another Frankie. There were the usual paws giving a feel as I passed, but nothing like it would’ve been if they knew it was live flesh.
I’m sitting in a snack bar on the beach. The pink ocean is rolling up in lazy laps against the magenta sands. The sky is rose colored, the sun is starting to rise, I’m feeling blue. I dial up a soufflé with some fresh sautéed sea creatures. Sucking on a tentacle, I dial up the Tookah. He’s on the screen - wearing a smoking jacket, with one tentacle wrapped around a cigar.
I fold in my wings and settle down, like a dragonfly on a milkweed pod. It is an exquisite ship, all fluff and down, a whole other solar technology. His long fingers take my hand. He has little sensors on the tips.
I got a tip from And/Or back at the Digital Circus and decide to sail to the Utopias, a lot of little islands where crackpots put into practice their views of how a society ought to be run. I purchase a set of solar wings and catch the air currents South.
Bolts of electricity flash back and forth...tremendous arcs of electricity crackle overhead...and there he is, Tesla himself. He’s sitting there, reading a book...he’s wearing soles on his shoes that look a foot thick...bolts snap and sizzle above his head filling the dome.
I’m looking at a thing with four tentacles, three eyes, a thin blue moustache and wearing a red fez.
Returning to Summa Nulla, Ruby, Teru, And/Or and Kapoor discover two distinct Summa Nulla’s, but one is invisible to the other. And finally, there’s a Grand Farewell as another Ruby adventure rumbles to an end.
Ruby discovers the secrets of this new Sonto Lore – where they can create buildings, landscapes, and even events, by simply thinking it. It’s easy for a fifth dimensional being, but not so easy for a third dimensional creature like sneaky little Rodant Kapoor.
And/Or, reunited with his mentor, Nikola Tesla, completes the light machine, enabling the planet of Summa Nulla to split into two planets, in two different dimensions. And Ruby encounters the Time Suspender, Father Mojo, who is living on this strange, Mad Moon.
Ruby, Teru, And/Or and Kapoor now find themselves on the fifth dimensional moon of Sonto Lore. The child Rubina persuades Ruby to play a game, while Teru delves into the mysteries of this magical Mad Moon.
Ruby searches for Teru on the reptilian planet, while Teru and Francois search for E. Gad’s hidden dimension hopper, and Kapoor searches for the elusive fourth coin. Then suddenly, the mythic fourth coin does appear, and woe to he who is caught holding on to it.
Professor Teru finds Francois’ detached head after E. Gad, the villainous reptilian, had the loveable robot taken to the smelter and smelted. Meanwhile, Ruby, with the assistance of The Creeper, uncovers a threshold used by Agents of the Dark to hop across dimensions. And Kapoor is hot on the trail of the fourth coin of Sonto Lore.
Teru plans his escape from the Reptoid planet, unaware that Ruby is searching for a way to get on the planet. And, sneaky Kapoor, having been mistakenly tractor-beamed onto the spaceship of Commander Vivakonanda, is not welcomed.
The reptilian, E. Gad, is looking for the desecrator of the Retoids most sacred temple. Meanwhile, Teru, using an ancient bilocation device, pleads with Ruby to get him off the Reptoid planet. And Toots Mutant, of the Zoot Mutants, reveals even more nastiness about the creepy reptilians.
Ruby has met Pops Teru (Teru’s grandfather). He tells Ruby that Toots Mutant may still be alive. Toots was the leader of a gang of Techno Punks called The Zoot Mutants, they lived in a far-less-than-friendly part of town, where laser-blades come in handy.
And/Or has been assembling Tesla’s light machine, a gigantic oscillator, he’s been building it in his mind (the same as Tesla used to do). Except sneaky Kapoor finds El Morya’s amazing turban, and it’s a little too tempting.
Nikola Tesla instructs And/Or to create a light machine that is invisible. But since And/Or cannot see it, he cannot do it. Tesla instructs And/Or to borrow the Turban of El Morya (in Madam Blavatsky’s Museum). Who was El Morya? He may have been an Ascended Master (a wise and fluid being), if he ever existed.
And that’s what those sneaky Reptoids did, they scanned Teru’s brain. But they want more, so they’ve recreated the Café Garcon along with the snappy waiter, Francois. And back on Summa Nulla, Nikola Tesla has returned!
On the Reptoid planet, Ruby, Teru, And/Or and Kapoor discover The Museum of Galactic Phenomena, filled with artifacts stolen from other planets. Teru encounters himself in The Museum of Dueling Dualities.
Centuries ago, Whisper Grass once covered the planet Summa Nulla. But then it vanished. Except now, it’s coming back in the strangest places. And it sings. Meanwhile, Ruby, Teru, And/Or and Kapoor find themselves on a planet filled with strange lizard-like creatures.
Nikola Tesla is the patron saint of the Digital Circus. Their techies are able to make contact through Tesla’s Cosmic Coil. And/Or (of the Digital Circus), and Ruby, have a spirited talk with long dead Nikola Tesla.
Ruby, a Galactic Detective, is given a coin that when flipped into the air, she may see other dimensions. She is told, this is one of four Moon Coins. Sonto Lore is a mythical 4th moon of Summa Nulla, a moon no one has ever seen.
The whole gang gathers together at the Digital Circus. It appears everyone is there – Ruby, Teru, Kapoor, And/Or, Man Ray, Father Mojo, Inanna, the Inky, Roger Robot, Mother Kapoor, Junior, and even Doctor Laser & Doctor Duck! The Android Sisters give a final performance.
Back in the Astral Bar & Grill, Inanna meets her father, who is a Time Lord. He tells her to take the next step, return to the Underworld and kill the ruler of Erishkigal, the Maharini - who is Inanna’s sister. Her father insists, “It is your duty!” But she is no match for the dark powers of the Maharini.
Rodant Kapoor, having learned a couple tricks from the Master Illusionist, Mister Majestic, uses his “thought forms” to distract the wrathful two-faced god, as the wise Mustapha, Ruby’s aircar, arrives to assist their escape from Zumzam’s evil city.
Professor T.J. Teru finally has his hands on the missing piece to the Ultimate Game, it’s Roger Robot. With the techie And/Or’s assistance, the wily robot is fitted into the machine, enabling Teru to make contact with the ancient, long-extinct, Nullians. But Professor Teru’s questions, and the Nullian’s answers, don’t fit well together.
Ruby discovers her ex-lover, Monet, is a Twilight Master – someone who dwells in the dark and the light. And back in the City of Zumzammim, Kapoor encounters Zumzam’s secret police, the frightening flappy-eared, pig-nosed creatures they call, “The Snouts!”
The mob boss, Mister Concertina, has a meeting with Zumzammim, the two-faced god, while Ruby, hiding behind the walls, easedrops on their nefarious plans. Meanwhile,Teru has gathered together all the parts from his dreams, to put-together the “Ultimate Game.” But one piece is missing, and that piece has the shape of Roger Robot.
T.J. Teru travels to the “City of the Electronic Dead” where he reunites with his old flame, his significant-other-android, Angel Lips. He finds her leaning against a lamp post, looking lost and forlorn. He recalls the day she was delivered, “My hands were shaking as I uncrated you, I tore off the layers and layers of packing until there you stood like a goddess, like a plastic Venus rising out of a sea of foam … styrofoam!”
Rodant Kapoor joins a carnival that is really a con game. He becomes an assistant to the grand illusionist, “Mister Majestic, Master of a Million Mental Hooks” (he used to run an advertising agency). As Kapoor learns from the Master, the agents of Zumzam come searching for the slippery novice.
Inanna finds herself on a train traveling across a flat white plain of nothingness. There is a whole world inside the train, where everyone complains, but no one gets off. Inanna finally escapes, finding herself in a friendly café, “The Astral Bar & Grill.” But the stubborn train comes crashing through walls, looking for Inanna. She flees into the mountains, the train keeps on chugging after her.
Ruby finds herself in “The Invisible World,” where thoughts become reality. Ruby gets stuck in sticky place called Romance Land, until she is rescued by her old lover, Monet (who she thought was dead). Monet shows her the glittering city of the dualistic god, Zumzammim. Meanwhile, back at the Digital Circus, the Ringmaster makes a startling announcement, the triumphant return of the incredible, “Android Sisters!”
Rodant leads Ruby and friends into the bowels of Magnifico, while in the mall above, the Digital Circus techies and the Dark Force engage in a fierce battle of seductive images on the giant screens. Frantic crowds flee as the great City of Malls destroys itself.
Inanna has passed through all but the Final Gate of the Underworld. The voice of Zumzammim orders the Inky to set Inanna free, and the Inky tells Inanna to seek her father at the Orchids of Osmos. Ruby and And/Or concoct a scheme to shut down Magnifico and locate the sinister source of its power.
While Rodant Kapoor and his family are shopping in Magnifico, he hears the voice of Zumzammim, the Dark Force, which promises Rodant the Secret Knowledge. By visualizing a pull chain inside his head, Kapoor shuts down the power to the entire City of Malls.
Professor Teru and Ruby enter the Nullian’s Grand Chamber only to find the “Ultimate Game” has been heisted. Back in Erishkigal, the Maharani orders the Inky, “Do not allow Inanna to pass through the Gate of Temptation … or else.” Defying a terrifying warrior, Inanna miraculously escapes through the Gate
Professor T.J. Teru excavates the Big Ooze, a sunken city, in search of the Nullian’s “Ultimate Game.” Meanwhile in Erishkigal, a paleontologist escorts Inanna to a group of talking stones who make god-awful puns. Back at the Digital Circus, the techie And/Or creates a techno-musical duo he calls “The And/Or Sisters!” (they’re not very good)
Mother Kapoor ask Ruby’s help to track down her son, Rodant. Ruby obliges by divulging his hideout at a monastery, the Orchids of Osmos. Back in Erishkigal, the Maharani transforms her servant, the Inky, into a Boatman who ferries Inanna to the strange city of Clay People.
Mr. Concertina, head of the Concerto Grosso, hires Ruby to find where the rival gang, The Scuzzies, acquire their hi-tech weaponry. Ruby tracks down the Digital Circus looking for her techie friend, And/Or. Performing at the Circus is a pious band of hooded robed figures that call themselves, “The Trapeze Monks.”
Sister Hooloopoo introduces Ruby to The Butterfly Game,” a machine left behind by the ancient Nullians. When Ruby plays the game, she experiences extraordinary visions of the future. At an Underworld casino, Inanna meets Lacerta, whose shifty methods bring her success at the gaming table – in fact, too much easy success.
Ruby meets Father Mojo and explains her need to find the Time Suspenders. He sends Ruby to Sister Hooloopoo on the Floating Islands of Osmos, inflatable cities that drift among the clouds. Meanwhile, in the Underworld city of Erishkigal, Inanna is summed to meet the dark ruler, the Maharani.
Ruby, our sassy “galactic gumshoe,” is hired to discover the source of a dark force emanating through the walls of Magnifico, the City of Malls, which is causing a buying frenzy. In a parallel story, techno-anthropologist Inanna seeks the meaning of the Seven Gates engraved on her amulet.