Parent Super Tip: Recent Episodes
Dr. Caroline Buzanko
These daily Super Parent Tips will help you focus on one parenting strategy each day. Listening and practicing one thing daily will help build your parenting superpowers over time to promote your and your kids confidence, happiness, and connection.
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Establish boundaries and rules.
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Social skills are important for long-term success. Make sure you help your kids build them.
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Never make your kids compete. Foster teamwork.
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Do your best to nurture both relationships in time of conflict. Be on both sides.
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Everyone needs some alone time. Especially from their siblings.
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Have your kids decorate a sibling love (aka get along) jar.
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Practice conflict resolution when everyone is calm. It's too hard when things are heated
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They will need help at first, but let your kids try out different ways to solve their conflicts.
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Always focus on being consistent with the most important things. Today, love.
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Sometimes just changing how we talk about things makes a difference.
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Half the battle with homework is helping kids feel like they can be successful.
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Find the best time for your kids to do homework. Sometimes morning might be best... just don't wait too long.
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Fighting in front of kids is okay IF you model effective conflict resolution.
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Shift mindset from nagging to supporting.
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Motivate kids through connection, empathy, and influence.
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Kids will avoid tough situations if they can. But will never grow. Help motivate them to turn towards those challenges.
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We teach through our behaviours the best. What are you modelling for your kids?
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We can build our brain through practice and stretching.
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Every challenge is an opportunity for growth. We just need to see it.
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Finding meaning and purpose is key to resilience.
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Helping others is an important part of building our resilience.
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You need to build your own resilience before you can help your kids.
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Rather than fearing the worst, expect the best. Kids will develop towards whatever you focus on.
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Making goals can keep you on the right track. One step every day.
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Empathy helps us let go of control. But we must have connection.
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Our job is to establish and maintain boundaries. Best done proactively.
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Think about what rules are most important to you and the family. Then get rid of the rest.
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We might reinforce behaviours for the wrong reasons...
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And maybe stay off the computer. ;)
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There is only one time I personally would be okay with punishment... if used effectively.
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We all make mistakes, so forgive, support, and set them up for success the next time around.
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Sometimes, when things aren't working, we need to go back and make sure our relationship is solid.
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Get yourself out of the fight.
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Collaborate and synergize to effective consequences.
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Incorrectly used, consequences can become punishment. Avoid that with some key tips.
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This is what I do for punishment.... can you guess?
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Always be calm when you enforce consequences. And show empathy.
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Collaborate when coming up with best logical consequences.
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Logical consequences can be effective teaching strategies when used properly.
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Help promote more natural consequences as much as possible - kids will directly learn from their behaviours.
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Yay 100! By now we should know that collaboration is key. We can'd force our kids to do anything. We can guide though.
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When we punish, the last thing our kids do is think about what they did and how to fix it next time. Instead, they brew in anger over how much of a jerk we are.
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Some things to think about for rewards and punishments.
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Behaviours are a great time to teach. Take advantage of these opportunities.
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No matter what they do, always be on your kids' side.
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Discipline = teaching. Punishment teaches nothing.
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Kids take more accountability when they help make rules.
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A few pointers to make family meetings successful.
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Make family meetings a fun time, especially in the beginning. Always start with the positives. You'll get alot more cooperation.
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Alot can be solved within a light, fun, family meeting.
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Experiment options. See what works best. And include positives!
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Explore all the options - you might be surprised by what you find.
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Continue to synergize. You never know what you might find.
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Brainstorm with your kids. Keep an open mind.
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Always add the positive when correcting.
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Keep your feedback short and sweet.
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More on using I statements over blame: Taking control of your own feelings.
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When it's your turn to talk, use "I statements." Really is important to help minimize feeling blamed.
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Focus on showing your kids appreciation.
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Might take some time but see what happens when you trust over micromanage.
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I know I will ruffle some feathers. But what if we considered letting them choose their behaviour? And be ok with it?
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Are you on a pedestal? See if you can come down.
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Let go of other's judgments. Let go of control.
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Help them want to do the important things.
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I know I have said this lots but there is a reason it's so repetitive...
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Everyone, including our kids, want to feel helpful. Find ways to make them feel useful!
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Help your kids build their islands of success.
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Encourage kids by focusing on their effort (over outcome).
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Don't force our expectations on them.
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Be thankful for all they do. Without correcting.
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Kids need to explore on their own to develop mastery and confidence.
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Give them a chance to be experts within their capacity.
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Kids need to fail to bounce back and build resilience.
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Failure breeds mastery. Kids need to learn this important lesson.
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Control is another key ingredient to confidence.
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Connecting = confidence building.
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Make communicating with your kids effectively easier on yourself. Make a script.
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What are your typical interactions with your kids like? Keep track and see if they are more connecting or nagging. ;)
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It might not be a big deal to us - but it might be for them.
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Only one thing to do today (other than eat a whole lot of candy).
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Listening seems to be the butt of everything. Even our kids' worth.
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Put yourself in your kids' shoes. What is most helpful for them?
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Reflect what your kids might be feeling, but in a questioning sort of way (so we don't put words - or feelings - in their mouths.
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Sometimes all they need to hear is their words reflected back (in a caring, feeling heard sort of way).
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Feelings show up in mysterious ways. How do your kids really feel?
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There is no one reality. And your kids' is just as real and valid as yours.
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Take interest in what your kids say and do.
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Put away the other stuff too.
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There's nothing worse than talking to a distracted listener.
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All you gotta do is listen (and maybe bite your tongue too).
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No one wants to get along (or cooperate) with anyone who nags them all the time.
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We think we understand them. But do our kids think we do?
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How well do you know your kids?
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We can talk about what being a great parent means. But really it's about doing great parenting.
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Less talking... the most effective parenting thing you can do.
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No learning is happening when anyone is frustrated. Get out of the heat!
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It's gotta be said. We're not to blame for kids' behaviours. But we do need to take accountability for how we react to them.
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Forget the how's - help them learn cooperation, stewardship, and accountability.
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Avoid power struggles - get closer instead.
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Ask your kids - might help get their buy-in.
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Kids need to learn... don't take away their chance.
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No one is perfect. But sometimes we seem to expect our kids to be.
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Help them be cooperative - way easier than fighting!
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Let's do favours for them every now and then.
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Choices can help with cooperation when done right.
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Create an environment where your kids wanna cooperate.
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Every misbehaviour has a flipside. What is your child's?
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Find the antidote of misbehaviour.
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Kids want attention so refocus to where you want them to get it from.
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Praising effort, rather than perfection, will always win cooperation and connection.
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Expect positive outcomes - you might even get it.
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Be explicit - say what you mean. Kids can't read your mind (even if it's something you've said a million times - today is a different day). ;)
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For every action there is a greater or equal reaction. Lets make it a good one.
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Behaviours are predictable - so plan for success!
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When emotions run high, not much else can happen. Definitely not rational thinking. For anyone really.
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Sometimes kids just need you to be their brain.
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As frustrating as it is, counterwill is an important part of development.
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Did you know the word "no" is the most dangerous word in our language?
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Absolute compliance is not a healthy part of kids development. The most incredible leaders that inspire us were not the good little boys and girls.
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When kids get discouraged, they check out. Continue to connect!
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When kids feel bossed around, they can get bossy back. Give up some control to get back some cooperation.
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Hard to be good and keep calm when stressed. How can we help, even in how we respond?
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As well as belonging, kids need to feel emotionally safe.
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Kids need to feel like they belong. Be sure they feel like they do!
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There's no such thing as bad kids - they do good if they can. Let's help them!
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Foster connection through positive conversations with your kids.
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Be sure to give your kids lots of attention in all the right places.
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There is always time for fun!
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Catch em being good. And focus just on that.
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Start our mornings off on the right foot with gentle reunions.
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Be the change you want to see in your child. ;)
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Your daily tip to build your parental superpowers!
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Back to school jitters for everyone? This Parent Super Tip will help you start your day of right!
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