The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD: Recent Episodes
Johanna Draconis
With this podcast I aim to help people with my knowledge and the deconstruction to give them the tools, knowledge, security and understanding to help them with their healing journey, partner, (C-)PTSD, PTS or the like.The aim is to help people cure themselves or at least improve their journey to getting cured and not just healed and to finally have a life worth living again - not just surviving.The original goal was to just tell my path, but while doing the podcast I realized the dire situation of PTSD resources and changed it to be more broad and make my instructions more universal.This nightmare of an illness is quite easily defeated if you know what to do and it no longer can hide in the shadows, that make it immune. But it DOES require a lot of work and effort. I use PTSD to include all form of traumas. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask, I usually answer them per mail or in the episode if more is needed. I also offer therapy to help more directly.More information and transcripts you can find at: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/
Good day, this time we do something slighty different while I work myself back into the rhythm. Would love to hear your feedback.
First, I want to thank you for your patience and apologize for the long delay. I really missed you.
When I’m referring to the storm I’m talking about the many variants of it - your personal life, your surrounding, the world and naturally everything in between. And - of course - everything is interconnected. How your personal life is will influence how you view the world and of course the state of the world impacts you. It is important to recognize what is causing your personal storm, understand how it is done and then how one can counter it. This greatly affects people with PTSD and learning how to protect oneself is crucial.
We start with the world - recognizing, your world - recognizing, understanding, countering the world and then countering for your world.
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Hello my dears!
I am Johanna Draconis and I am slowly coming back. As expected the fight was successful and completely burned me out. But I am FINALLY FREE! Of Torture AND Trauma. This took WAY TOO long.
And now more and more falls into place and fully rebuilds me - which is a very energy and time consuming process. For all those reasons I will slowly make my way back.
But to ease most of you: This end boss doesn’t seem to appear unless you experienced many years of torture especially as a child. But since I am the only person I know who’s cured of torture - I only have one data point and time will tell what is required.
I also wanted to record this episode because I know the holidays are for many a particularly dark time and to strongly encourage you to take a step away from it all if needed. Your mental health is more important than being up to date.
Fear mongering and hate watching are extremely popular on social media and give the feeling, that if you don’t watch every video - you are going to be lost. Unless you are working with it - stepping away for several days or weeks will do nothing.
It can actually be quite therapeutic to be away for a while and coming back to see the same things being told. The world didn’t end. A new sunrise will come and a new set of dramatic events.
Letting go can help a lot with your anxiety, stress and getting comfortable with needing some time for yourself and slowing down.
I hope you are well and that I can bring you more soon.
Take very good care of yourself, stay safe and happy holidays
Johanna
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Hello my dears!
I am Johanna Draconis and I am going shortly into what is going on and why I’m on hiatus.
First on social media. I am going to restructure things and have plans and my silly brain decided that means I can’t post anything in the meantime.
Second - I have been still dealing with torture - as I seriously underestimated how much it would slow down the closer I got to the early years.
Then everything slowed more and more down - which wasn’t surprising given that my life got more and more on fire - and it got really hard to work and I genuinely thought I had burn out.
But then I got those CPTSD nightmares after last episode and after some looking I found the reason: A gigantic cluster trauma - the biggest and strongest I have ever encountered.
Which is unsurprising given it is strongly connected to torture and early in life. How did I overlook it? Well turns out it was hidden within the torture and with that removal it got active. A sort of really bad parting gift.
Now will I win? Yes - 99% sure.I have the skill, knowledge and tools, but I really have to focus on it and myself now - and this work especially hits too close to home. I am optimistic I can get back to work very soon.
I hope you are all well
Take care and stay safe!
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Hello my dears!
I am Johanna Draconis and I wanted to give this sign of life.Life is kind of on fire right now - thanks to the weather almost also literally - and I need to focus on that. Things should be back to normal soon - and I’m looking forward to that.
But since it’s the 4th of July and I know many in my audience will likely suffer, I also wanted to remind that it is okay on some days to have a blackout day. To remove just everything one can from the timetable.
So that only the absolute necessary and wanted remains. To spoil oneself on such a day and practice self care. Healing isn’t just about the progress we make but also the damage we prevent. And sometimes all we can focus on is limiting the damage we take.
The more rested, relaxed, happy and in good company you are - the less severe the symptoms and likely the trigger are. Or in short: Be kind to yourself.
I hope to see you again soon
Take care and stay safe
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In this episode we will talk about being lonely/loneliness and the hole inside that causes all of it. There is a loneliness epidemic that keeps spreading and cause a lot of suffering. But why do we all feel so lonely? What is causing this feeling? And what can we do about it?
We first get into lonely/alone, then the hole inside, then how it escalates, then how loneliness spreads and then how to stop it.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode176
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In this episode we will talk about abuse language - the language that is designed to weaken the victim and used as a weapon by the abuser to maintain and expand their control over the victim. Abuse language is hard to explain if you don’t know the mechanics.
We first talk about deniability, then teaching the language, then the slow game and then planting the seeds.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode175
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In this episode we will talk about flashbacks - the most known symptom of PTSD - and wrongly assumed to be a central requirement for having any form of PTSD.
Flashbacks are often referred to something along the lines of “having flashbacks like I have PTSD”. But unlike what many think it is only a severe symptom and not a requirement for PTSD. It is a sign that PTSD is in its more severe stages and needs to be addressed NOW.
We first talk about what are flashbacks, then what causes them, then when do they appear, then what can we do about them and then how can we use them.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode174
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In this episode we will talk about how abusers keep control over us - even long after we are out of that situation it can still apply. Especially if we were children at the time and we learned this to be “normal”. We need to understand to recognize and unlearn it.
We first talk about abuse language, then always on edge, then redefining normal, then always assumed guilty, then sabotaging skills, then sugar and pain and then isolation.
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-manipulation-tactics/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/narcissism-demystified/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/addiction-and-recovery/
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode173
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In this episode we will talk about fate - in particular about the fate of those marked by trauma. Are we bound to be victims or abusers? That is a question I am sure many of you have asked when only these 2 fates seem to be available. But there is more.
We first talk about how it starts, then the roadblocks, then the destructive outcomes, then the productive outcomes and then how it ends.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode172
The Quote: Criminal Minds S1E8
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive, violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.
Vincent Perotta: "Some people"?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: What's that?
Vincent Perotta: You said "some people grow up to become killers."
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: And some people grow up to catch them.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0550491/quotes/
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In this episode we will talk about what a healthy relationship looks like. The perfect relationship depends - of course - on your preferences, life and so much more. That is a science of and on itself. We just focus on a healthy relationship, that has the best chances to last and bring you happiness.
We first talk about communication, then respect, then shared values and goals, then conflict, then support and then emotional stability
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode171
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In this episode we talk about how love is not enough.
Though this episode is going to be a bit different again, because - for one - it is something that is so deeply painful and hard to accept - that it is very difficult to talk about it. A deep wound almost all of us share. Some in great - some in lesser extent.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode170
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In this episode we will talk about building up your support system - especially about solutions until new relationships are possible, which I forgot to address last time and offered just an answer, but not a solution. Your healing progress is a long journey - and good company makes it a lot easier and enjoyable.
We first talk about online groups, then online games, then animals and then local groups.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode169
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In this episode we will talk about being ready for a healthy relationship - a burning question for most. Which is understandable as a partner is invaluable in life - be it a romantic or platonic partner.
We first talk about stable situation, then emotional range, then taking care of others and then the checklist.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode168
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In this episode we will talk about achieving this new “me” that seems often so far away and some even believe is a myth. Or are you trying to return to your old true self? Both follow the same path that seems to be so hard if not impossible to find.
But today we really focus on the steps to take to achieve the new “me” - if you never had a healthy one - or return to your true “me” - if the experience has thrown you off your path.
We first talk about changing takes time, then your mental state, then your view of yourself and then the steps and signs of improvement.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode167
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In this episode we will talk about emotions once again, but this time about loosing control over them. That can take many forms and is sadly usually a common aspect in dealing with PTSD and also during the healing progress.
We first talk about how it makes things harder, then about abusers and healthy people, then why you loose control and then how to better maintain control.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode166
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In this episode we will talk about mens mental health.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode165
[1] Suicide fuel/Incel
https://incels.wiki/w/Suicidefuel
https://www.leedsforlearning.co.uk/Pages/Download/3e2842ed-6270-4d21-9b8f-86eb72f95e98/PageSectionDocuments
https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounder/incels-involuntary-celibates
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10600567/
[2] "Fathers who actively seek custody obtain either primary or joint physical custody over 70% of the time"
https://amptoons.com/blog/files/Massachusetts_Gender_Bias_Study.htm
[3] More women then men try to kill themselves
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/suicide-canada-key-statistics-infographic.html (more hospitalized - Canada)
https://www.priorygroup.com/mental-health/mental-health-statistics "Women and girls attempt suicide 1.5 to 2 times more often than men and boys."
[4] Men not suited for therapy?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mens-mental-health-matters/202309/the-changing-view-of-men-on-mental-health (male therapist perspective)
[5] Hair loss talk but not erectile disfunction
https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/men-taboo-health-topics-incontinence-27980585 (couldn't find the original study)
[6] rather die than being vulnerbale.. partner being exception
https://www.priorygrou
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In this episode we will talk about time and life with the questions “Do I have enough time left” and “Is my life over” - which is something I went through myself and I hear so often. It’s common to get entrapped by it - and finding the answer is hard.
We first talk about why do we feel like we are running out of time, then is it too late for me, then what is lost and then where are we running.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode164
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In this episode we will talk about feeling like a child and not like an adult - often accompanied by feeling overwhelmed and lost. One of the more general issues, but also an absolute key element on recovering from trauma - especially if it happens in the childhood. Especially if neglect and parentification is involved.
We first talk about are there no adults, then why being an adult is important, then why do we still feel like children and then what can we do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode163
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In this episode we will talk about how the mind can affect the body - and the other way around. If you keep getting sick or have this weird illness that just won’t go away, then that might be related to PTSD. I can confirm the same - the issues I had disappeared one by one during my healing progress. After years and years of riddling doctors and everyone basically. This is known as psychosomatic and very relevant to PTSD.
We first talk about how does it work, then how far does it go, then stress and then benefits.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode162
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In this episode we will talk about basically the saying “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” - which I am sure most of you have heard. It is known officially as post traumatic growth - or PTG - but it has mixed opinions.
I wanted to talk about this for a while since I came across this review of research of Post traumatic growth or PTG where he found that genuine PTG is rare, but illusionary PTG is common. In other words the growth is not real but imagined. Which honestly is in line with my observations.
We end on a positive note, but we first have to clean the table - so to speak. We first talk about PTG, then why it is illusionary, then what does real PTG depend on and then is there post traumatic growth.
Link to the study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735823000594
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode161
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In this episode we will talk about basically the saying “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” - which I am sure most of you have heard. It is known officially as post traumatic growth - or PTG - but it has mixed opinions.
I wanted to talk about this for a while since I came across this review of research of Post traumatic growth or PTG where he found that genuine PTG is rare, but illusionary PTG is common. In other words the growth is not real but imagined. Which honestly is in line with my observations.
We end on a positive note, but we first have to clean the table - so to speak. We first talk about PTG, then why it is illusionary, then what does real PTG depend on and then is there post traumatic growth.
Link to the study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735823000594
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
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support me:
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about parents and if they were “good parents” - while there are many ways people define if someone is a good parents or not, we will - of course - focus on the trauma perspective, because it is sadly the root of many evils.
The main point of this episode - helping to understand, to find and to resolve past issues.
First we talk about covering the basics, then covering emotional and social needs, then what is caring love and then what does it mean to be a good parent in my eyes.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode160
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about being scared or anxious - sometimes both at the same time. Usually it’s a cry for help by your overwhelmed brain. The feeling of fear is a very familiar feeling for those dealing with PTSD and can greatly impact your healing process.
We first talk about why fear is a good thing, then the brain is confused, then why the fear is so damaging and then what we can do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode159
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about being tired - something basically everyone who deals with PTSD is familiar with it. You feel tired, low on energy or lazy - depending on perspective. But there is a good reason for it and you probably shouldn’t be too hard on yourself.
We first talk about how to know it is happening, then where the energy is needed, then what you shouldn’t do and then what we can do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode157
Mentioned video:
“what actually happens when you are sick?” - by kurzgesagt
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In this episode we will talk about scars - or in other words - the things that remain. I often say that the experience changes us - like climbing a mountain does, but what do we have to accept as that change and what can we still change after all?
Since it’s the 4th of July with a lot of veterans affected, I thought it is a good time to talk about the things that remain and how they affect us.
We first talk about things that are not scars but a to do list, then what scars we have to accept remain and then what we can do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode157
Mentioned video:
“what actually happens when you are sick?” - by kurzgesagt
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about victim blaming: This is sadly a common reality that survivors face - as well victims of all kinds of things and even if anything bad happens to you.
Victim blaming means one accuses the victim that their behavior has caused it and therefor they are to be blamed for what happened.
We first talk about exceptions, then reasons, then fear and then how to deal with it.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about self confidence, feeling unlovable and loneliness. How to be self confident and able to love oneself is integral for a life with happiness and love.
This is a continuation from last episode, where we talked about feeling unlovable and lonely. I strongly recommend to listen to it first.
These three topics are sort of a chain reaction - you feel unlovable, that causes low self confidence and thats leads to loneliness. But how do we break this cycle? For truly being able to love yourself - you need to know yourself.
We will talk first about what is self confidence truly, then ow to become self confident and then from questions to self love.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode155
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In this episode we will talk about feeling unlovable and to a part about loneliness - because if you feel unlovable than no matter how many people tell you that they love you - you won’t believe them. A very difficult topic, but also integral for a life with happiness and love.It is - of course - not to point fingers at anyone and call it a day, but to help you understand what happened, where it came from and what you can do. First we get into why feeling unlovable is so devastating, then why it is so hard to get to the source, then the cause and then what now.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode154
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In this episode we will talk about the stage between ball and ring trauma - and therefor PTSD and C-PTSD - the double trauma or macarons trauma. I mentioned before that there seems to be something missing - and now I finally pieced it together.
Now the whole set is round and no longer feels incomplete. As mentioned in a past episode - there was no point in making a step called something like a big ball trauma, because that would be the same basically just in significant bigger shape.
We go from bad to worse - while explaining briefly what you need to keep an eye out for.
We start with satellite, then we go to combined - but separate and then to coexisting.
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Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode153
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In this episode we will talk about how to remove or cut someone out of your life - the universal recommendation seems to be: Avoid contact.
But that is sometimes just not an option. So what can we do in that case? How do we cut someone out, that keeps coming up in our everyday life? Keeping as much distance as possible is extremely helpful, but what else can we do?
We first talk about the strings that tie us together, then why the brain refuses to let go, then how to cut and then when trauma is added.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode152
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about why it is so hard to leave someone - even if they threaten our wellbeing - or to cut them out of our lives. While the decision is logically so easy to make, it can be hard to understand why we struggle so much with it.
We first talk about how relationships are formed, then why are we being drawn back in and then why cutting relationships is hard.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode151
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In this episode we will talk about how a military mission can cause PTSD and what are the reasons why it could be. It is a bit of an experiment and so your feedback is especially appreciated.
But for now I will give you the categories and what goes into them and you can add more details. Now these categories cover all the elements that are relevant in regards to PTSD.
This is supposed to be a tool for you to use. Be it for better knowing where to look for triggers and the like, to estimate coming missions or to just better understand what is happening in your brain. Also these factors are all about how you personally perceived them.
We start with the factors, then the 2 left out factors and then how to calculate it.
(small correction I noticed too late: per (German) = by)
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In this episode we will talk about violence and the deciding factor for something to become a trauma or even PTSD. It is important to understand what the main factors are to know what to focus on - especially when dealing with ring trauma.
To truly trying to understand this we use our slapped in the face example again - this time with the violence being the focus, while the level of force stays exactly the same.
We first talk about the slap in the face example, then about the differences and then the deciding factor.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
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In this episode we will talk about why emotions are more important than facts - in the healing process - something I mentioned several times, but never really gotten into in greater detail. It is one of the most crucial things to get right to cure yourself.
We first start with the purpose of facts, then an example and then applying example to a trauma.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
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In this episode we will talk quickly about a big update that kept me quite busy and changes quite a bit.
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In this episode we will talk about how it comes that dealing with PTSD is so much easier than C-PTSD. I usually use PTSD to include both, but there is a very significant difference in difficulty dealing with it and its quite a jump.
It is important to understand the difference and how to treat the different versions. As they require different approaches - which is likely why many struggle to remove C-PTSD from their life.
We first talk about this in an example, then how to deal with ball trauma and then with ring trauma.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about just wanting peace - an expression often in regards with the marathon that is the healing process.
Usually the sentence “I just want peace” is said by the biggest stirrer of chaos and unrest. Usually when they are confronted about their part in the chaos. But in this case it was from a mail I received and it wasn’t the first time I heard it.
It is just a sentiment of the exhaustion of this long and difficult journey to finally be over and one can walk again without the burden.
This is part for validation but also helping.
So let us talk about it.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about survivor’s guilt, a topic I so far skipped over as I was affected by it myself.
What is survivor’s guilt?
Simplified you feel guilty for surviving and that is often accompanied with strong depression and the thought process of being undeserving of living. Last time - episode 84 where I covered it - it was for validation and finding purpose as band aid.
First we talk about surviving, then witnessing, then why you might struggle and lastly what one should do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about people who are victims and abusers. People who suffered and made other people suffer. There are some mixed opinions about it, but I think it is important to be clear on this issue.
We first talk about what is not abuse, then the difference between mistake and pattern, then why I call them traitors and lastly the consequences.
(This episode might have been inspired by a couple whith many projects and headlines atm).
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about nightmares, which are a common occurrences and a symptom strongly associated with PTSD. An awful and tiring experience that might be able to be avoided.
As I said, the nightmares that you get while suffering from PTSD are well known and they can range drastically. From relatively normal nightmares to being so terrifying that you don’t even dare to breathe when you wake up from them.
We will first talk about where do the nightmares comes from, then what we can do about them and then a little trick I use.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
It is this time of the year again and though a bit late, I wanted to remind you to be kind to and not so hard on yourself.
This time of the year is rough especially for those who suffered losses, already feel disconnected, have a complicated family situation and so on. If you add the limited daylight and it just gets worse. Same goes for worries about paying the bills - especially this year.
It is a lot. And in such times it is especially important to be patient with yourself and not add additional pressure. Which is hard I know. But I hope this can give you a bit of validation.
Sometimes all we can do is hang in there and that is okay. We all go at our own pace. Not giving up is important and worthy of a treat here and there.
I hope you are well, I wish you the best for the next year and that you get out of this as soon as possible.
Take care, watch yourself and I hopefully see you next year.
Johanna
In this episode we will talk about a question I seen many ask themselves ”Why didn’t I see it earlier?” and having a very hard time to come to terms with it and forgiving themselves.
We talked about Denial before, in Episode 37, where we talked about being in Denial about what happened. This is the next step, so to speak, where we talk about the fall out of that, when you try to to understand why you didn’t see it earlier.
First we talk about the why and then the what now.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about isolation - a topic which occurs throughout, from the traumatic experience itself up to the healing process.
When we talk about isolation in this episode, we refer to both the literal isolation by being separated from everyone else physically, as well as the figurative isolation where people can be around, but you are still isolated.
We first talk about the fallout, then the disconnect and then about adapting.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about survival, which affects most affected by PTSD. When we hear usually about survival it is about being stranded on an island, the wilderness and the like - which is of course accurate. But survival also refers to the state many people affected by PTSD are in.
We will first talk about surviving and then what we can do.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Song mentioned:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a5WyAjL1MM&ab_channel=Mr.Probz
Lyrics:
My face above the water
My feet can't touch the ground
Touch the ground, and it feels like
I can see the sands on the horizon
Every time you are not around
I'm slowly drifting away (drifting away)
Wave after wave, wave after wave
I'm slowly drifting (drifting away)
And it feels like I'm drowning
Pulling against the stream
Pulling against the stream
I wish I could make it easy
Easy to love me, love me
But still I reach, to find a way
I'm stuck here in between
I'm looking for the right words to say
I'm slowly drifting, drifting away
Wave after wave, wave after wave
I'm slowly drifting (drifting away)
And it feels like I'm drowning
Pulling against the stream
Pulling against the stream
In this episode we will talk about the question why we cry so much - especially during our healing process - and why crying is a good thing. It is an important part for getting better, but often quite confusing.
There is of course some opinions about who can and can’t cry and those are absolute nonsense. Crying is an important part of a healthy human being and mental health and also very important for bonding with other people.
We first start talking about why do we cry and then how it helps our healing process.
Link to Cinema wins - Lessons Animation Taught Us: Inside Out (usefulness of sadness):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8nU4RoSlpQ&ab_channel=CinemaWins
In this episode we will talk about feeling hollow, which can feel like a hole inside of you - that somehow hurts.That feeling is the reason for many problems, sufferings and harmful behavior. Not just with PTSD and many are affected.
The feeling hollow is quite widespread, but hardly talked about. Quite difficult to describe the feeling properly without having experienced it. This sometimes yawning void.
In this episode we will talk about the question “How could you make okay what happened?” that I heard many times and is a reason many people don’t seek help. A dangerous misconception that can leave people vulnerable and unable to move forward.
The short answer to the question “How could you make okay what happened?” is that I don’t.
I am not trying to make okay what happened - I am trying to make you feel okay despite what happened.
First we talk about the difference and then the first steps towards being okay.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about how during the healing process we sometimes move slow - sometimes it even feels like standing still - and sometimes fast - at least compared to the other. I covered this before during the healing wave section.
This is the biggest part of your healing process - therefor I think it is important to revisit it for a different perspective.
So we first talk about anger and then about sadness.
In this episode we will talk about feeling quite lost during the healing process and to be fair - it is quite a chaotic time. But the question is why and what can we do? Understanding is a huge part of it, which also helps to navigate it all.
We will first talk about the order of healing, then walking the path properly and then your change along the way.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxVVaTXr4FM&ab_channel=TopMovieClips
In this episode we will talk about 9 methods to counter PTSD - as in which methods help us go up against PTSD and fight it. Knowing how to turn the table changes almost everything.
First we talk about methods for finding the enemy and then about methods how to best fight them.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about methods in case of an PTSD emergency, which is usually when the symptoms take over. A situation we try to avoid for a good reason and where mistakes are punished hard.
We fill first cover the crucial first steps, then the methods used in an emergency and then the grounding method.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about methods you can use in your everyday life. It has been years since we touched upon this and I felt like a updated version was long overdue. These are the things you can use the most - and therefor important and extremely helpful.
First we talk about methods for everyday life and then resource management.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about maintaining hope - even in the darkest times. It is no secret that dealing with PTSD and trauma can lead to the darkest times a human can witness. Additionally recent events made a lot of people very scared. For good reason I fear.
But as I said often - panic doesn’t help anyone and is not the way to go. Hope is the better way and so important during your healing progress.
Now hope is once again a quite nebulous term with many interpretations and things woven into it.
I’m talking about the hope that makes you see the next sunrise. And more importantly how to maintain it. It is really like a lifeline that can take you through the darkest times.
First we talk about realistic goals, then to not cling to hope and then one step at a time.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about what we can do about feeling inferior, like an impostor, a lack of self confident and the voices in your head giving you a hard time.
It is important to do this, so you can life a fulfilling life, have less risk of getting in the hands of an abuser and can take better care of yourself.
We talked about it last episode, about the inner voices and feeling inferior. I strongly recommend listening to that episode first.
But now the interesting question I only briefly touched in last episode is: How do I remove these voices or whatever you are calling it and replace it with healthy ones?
First we talk about replacing the response and then breaking the cycle.
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the question “Why do I feel so inferior?” or the inner voices - sometimes called inner critics. The voices that beat you down and are sometimes mistaken for the inner voice of reason or the like.
In general having voices inside your head is completely normal - unless they tell you something new.
We first talk about where does these voices come from and then how we change these voices.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-127/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the question “Should I commit suicide” for the third time - this time we start with sickness, then isolation, then mourning, then we get there when we get there and lastly conclusion.
It is about the absolute crucial difference between “I want to end this life” and “I want to end my life”.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-126/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Song mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRYIrCBcI9Y&ab_channel=ImmediateMusic-Topic
And obligatory for this topic:
Useful site:
https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/
United StatesNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Veterans press 1 to reach specialised support. Press 2 for Spanish-language support
(The older number, 1-800-SUICIDE will probably stop working in the near future.)
Online Chat: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741.
CanadaNational Crisis Line from Crisis Services Canada (Pilot Project, phone only at present): 1.833.456.4566
Other Crisis Lines by Region Alternatively, 211 works in most of Canada, and they can advise regarding local resources.
EU Standard Emotional Support Number 116 123 - Free and available in much of Europe
Deutschlandhttp://www.telefonseelsorge.de/
Tel: 0800-1110111 oder 0800-1110222
Chat/Email: https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/
UKSamaritans (www.samaritans.org)
- Voice: 116 123 (24/7 Free to call, will not appear on phone bills, formerly 08457 90 90 90)
- Email: emailjo@samaritans.org
Shout - Crisis Text Line UK (https://www.crisistextline.uk/)
- Text: SHOUT to 85258
Helplines for Men from thecalmzone.net:
- Voice: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight nationwide, also 0808 802 58 58 London and 0800 58 58 58 Merseyside)
- Text 07537 404717 (5pm to midnight, start your text with CALM2)
- Online Chat: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
ChildLine (childline.org.uk), for those 19 and under:
- Voice: 0800-11-11 (Free to call, does not appear on phone bills)
- Online Chat: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx
- Email: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Pages/Email.aspx
Papyrus HOPELINEUK, suicide prevention specialist service for children and young adults (under 35)
Hours are 9am – 10pm weekdays 2pm – 10pm weekends 2pm – 10pm bank holidays
- Voice: 0800 068 4141
- Text: 07786209697
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Directory of suicide-related services: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php
Australia13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
For find one use:
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
In this episode we will talk about the question “Should I commit suicide?” for the second time. This time the focus is on internal struggles or - in other words - is the call coming from the inside? Or “Does the enemy wants you to think the call is coming from the inside so you leave the house and run into the enemies arms?”
We first start with depression and then the hidden outside influence. I cover next week sickness, mourning and the conclusion.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-125/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
And obligatory for this topic:
Useful site:
https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/
United StatesNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Veterans press 1 to reach specialised support. Press 2 for Spanish-language support
(The older number, 1-800-SUICIDE will probably stop working in the near future.)
Online Chat: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741.
CanadaNational Crisis Line from Crisis Services Canada (Pilot Project, phone only at present): 1.833.456.4566
Other Crisis Lines by Region Alternatively, 211 works in most of Canada, and they can advise regarding local resources.
EU Standard Emotional Support Number 116 123 - Free and available in much of Europe
Deutschlandhttp://www.telefonseelsorge.de/
Tel: 0800-1110111 oder 0800-1110222
Chat/Email: https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/
UKSamaritans (www.samaritans.org)
- Voice: 116 123 (24/7 Free to call, will not appear on phone bills, formerly 08457 90 90 90)
- Email: emailjo@samaritans.org
Shout - Crisis Text Line UK (https://www.crisistextline.uk/)
- Text: SHOUT to 85258
Helplines for Men from thecalmzone.net:
- Voice: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight nationwide, also 0808 802 58 58 London and 0800 58 58 58 Merseyside)
- Text 07537 404717 (5pm to midnight, start your text with CALM2)
- Online Chat: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
ChildLine (childline.org.uk), for those 19 and under:
- Voice: 0800-11-11 (Free to call, does not appear on phone bills)
- Online Chat: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx
- Email: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Pages/Email.aspx
Papyrus HOPELINEUK, suicide prevention specialist service for children and young adults (under 35)
Hours are 9am – 10pm weekdays 2pm – 10pm weekends 2pm – 10pm bank holidays
- Voice: 0800 068 4141
- Text: 07786209697
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Directory of suicide-related services: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php
Australia13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
For find one use:
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
In this episode we will talk about false accusations, as the Johnny Depp Amber Heard Trial is dominating the minds of people these days and there are a lot of emotions and reactions that have me quite worried.
So I decided to insert this episode, while emotions seem to climb ever higher and the constant coverage triggering quite a lot of people and it being a taboo that needs to be addressed. It is hurting a lot of people and causes enormous damage.
We will first talk about the false accusations affecting real victims and then about being falsely accused.
Since my pronunciation wasn't so good, the line is "Just for the record, that men can’t be victims is utter nonsense and is not up for debate."
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-124/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Mentioned Clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDIDW-JtkTY&ab_channel=blu789sky
HQ at 4:01 :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bvne1hu36CU&ab_channel=ScreenSlam
In this episode we will talk about a questions, that many of you might have asked yourself - “Should I commit suicide?”
And it is a choice that can’t be undone - there is no going back. So we should be extra sure we make the right call.
We first do a little thought experiment, then we talk about external struggles and how to get out of the trap. We continue next week with internal struggles and finding a solution.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-123/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Quote: https://imgur.com/Wt2DTDA
And obligatory for this topic:
Useful site:
https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/
United StatesNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Veterans press 1 to reach specialised support. Press 2 for Spanish-language support
(The older number, 1-800-SUICIDE will probably stop working in the near future.)
Online Chat: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741.
CanadaNational Crisis Line from Crisis Services Canada (Pilot Project, phone only at present): 1.833.456.4566
Other Crisis Lines by Region Alternatively, 211 works in most of Canada, and they can advise regarding local resources.
EU Standard Emotional Support Number 116 123 - Free and available in much of Europe
Deutschlandhttp://www.telefonseelsorge.de/
Tel: 0800-1110111 oder 0800-1110222
Chat/Email: https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/
UKSamaritans (www.samaritans.org)
- Voice: 116 123 (24/7 Free to call, will not appear on phone bills, formerly 08457 90 90 90)
- Email: emailjo@samaritans.org
Shout - Crisis Text Line UK (https://www.crisistextline.uk/)
- Text: SHOUT to 85258
Helplines for Men from thecalmzone.net:
- Voice: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight nationwide, also 0808 802 58 58 London and 0800 58 58 58 Merseyside)
- Text 07537 404717 (5pm to midnight, start your text with CALM2)
- Online Chat: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
ChildLine (childline.org.uk), for those 19 and under:
- Voice: 0800-11-11 (Free to call, does not appear on phone bills)
- Online Chat: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx
- Email: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Pages/Email.aspx
Papyrus HOPELINEUK, suicide prevention specialist service for children and young adults (under 35)
Hours are 9am – 10pm weekdays 2pm – 10pm weekends 2pm – 10pm bank holidays
- Voice: 0800 068 4141
- Text: 07786209697
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Directory of suicide-related services: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php
Australia13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
For find one use:
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
In this episode we will talk about mental health again or more precisely: What it means to be mentally healthy. We will continue from the last episode with our example to better understand mental health.
First we talk about abusive persons, then severe impact, then loosing sections and projects and lastly signs of things going wrong.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-122/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about a statement I hear all the time - “But I am totally fine! I am not crazy!” and - in case of PTSD - “I don’t have flashbacks!”. Usually coming from someone who is not totally fine and many with PTSD don’t have flashbacks.
Which lead me to come up with a model to explain first how your mental and physical health are connected and how they escalate.
We will talk about setting up the model, then how crazy looks like with it and then we end with bad childhood influence.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-121/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about moving forward in your healing journey - or how to know if you are or not. As in “Am I slowing down because I need to or am I just lazy?” That is a good question that likely many asked themselves - including me.
Since pacing and managing your energy is such a crucial point - it is important that we know.
First we talk about having the same response, then trigger response despite making progress and about one trigger not moving forward does not mean no progress.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-120/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Intro
Hello my dears,
My name is Johanna, and I welcome you to the Johanna Draconis - The Deconstruction Of C-PTSD podcast.
This episode will be something a bit different and we will talk about dealing with hopelessness, helplessness, despair, suffering and anger - in light of the Ukraine Conflict sadly.
I had a complete different episode planned, but recent events can’t be ignored and I apologize for my voice in advance.
Prelude: The recent situation
I will keep it brief, but before we start I want to make clear: The invasion of Ukraine is unacceptable and using the playbook of the Nazis just adds insult to injury. We Germans have a heritage and I take it rather seriously.
It has been a very long time since a conflict has been this clearly black and white. Though I do want to clearly separate between the Russian government and its brave people - who protests despite being arrested and the threat to their lives.
I hope for the best.
With that being said - let us talk about the emotions as we enter a new age with these events. Lets talk about dealing with the hopelessness, helplessness, despair, suffering and anger - not only regarding this particular conflict.
What we can do
It is very hard not to feel these emotions in regarding such pictures, atrocities and all the suffering that is happening. It can be like a huge wave threatening to wash away everything and all - including yourself.
That is the reason why it is so important to have a little island - a small refuge that stands against the tide. That island is your surrounding, the thing you can achieve and sadly the acceptance, that we can only do what we can do.
Sometimes it is important to see the big picture, but in situation like these it is crucial to focus on the small picture. We can’t change the world, but we can change the world of tomorrow. Even if it is by the slightest of margin.
The world is a huge weight on ones shoulder - one even superman struggles with. There are just too many. At least for one person. But the more people work for a bettering of the world - the better the world of tomorrow looks like.
The best way to combat it is to focus on what you CAN do. The pile of the world is too big for one person - which means we have to pull out something we can help with and hope that others will pick up the other pieces.
It remains a group project - with all its up and down. So focus on what you can do and keep pushing to see how much you can do. That is the best thing we can do. One step at a time.
Outro
That was it for todays episode. Please help if you can.
In this episode we will talk about what I hinted at last time and as requested - we will go more into detail and talk about dismantling these sort of traumas. The method or tool is - of course - also helpful for any other trauma or situation. It is crucial and can be a game/life changer.
So first we will talk about the structure of trauma, then going against the outer defenses and then working towards the core.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-118/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the statement “you just don’t get over something like that” - as I keep running into it and which causes so much harm and can lead to the worst outcomes. It is a topic very close to my heart and connected to this podcast.
Therefore it is important we take some time and question this statement - which is long overdue.
First we talk about how we reach this sentiment, where it can lead to and then what can help.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-117/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about kind of one of the things that keep popping up every new year: New years resolutions. Or more precisely we talk about how to make change last.
We first get into why people with PTSD struggle to make change happen and then how to make it work.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-116/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about a topic that might came up during the holidays: Lagging behind everyone else.
It is hard to not compare oneself with the others. Even if we know better than to do that. The heart gets heavy and we are often reminded, that we are behind in our plans.
ometimes it seems like the others are running past you and you just seem not to get into gear. Nothing anyone likes to really talk about - it is rather embarrassing and quite a lot of shame involved. So let us break the ice.
First we talk about the lopsided comparison, then falling behind according to whom and then the best way to compare yourself.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-115/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
Hello my dears,
Another year has gone by and it feels like barely any time passed and the whole world changed at the same time.
This is the darkest time of the year - for the northern hemisphere at least. For many this is also the most joyous time of the year - the food, the lights, the celebrations or whatever makes the holiday season special for them.
But many of who are struggling, be it PTSD or something else, find it often to be the hardest time of the year.
Not only is there the long darkness and missing daylight, but also the strong contrast between those celebrations and their day to day struggle.
And it is completely normal to struggle especially during this time - it is completely normal and many are affected by it. This is sadly one of those times, where it is best to just sit back a bit more. Not a wise thing to try to swim against the current.
And it will pass - as is always does.
But the holiday season can also be the perfect time to take care of yourself a bit.
I hope you can take the time and treat yourself with something. Doesn’t have to be big - maybe some chocolate? A good meal would be nice. Maybe go somewhere nice you haven’t been to for a while? Play a bit? I always enjoy the light decorations.
Whatever makes you feel better and you can do.
Hope you all are doing well.
I wish you a happy holiday season and a good slide into the next year - as we say here.
Take care and watch yourselves
Johanna
In this episode we will talk about something else a bit - we are going through the first steps you can take to find the trigger core and the root of the problem. I try to make it a sort of starting point tutorial.
I thought loss was an universal known topic to everyone - so a good start.
We start with the why questions regarding missing then with what if questions.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-113/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about how your living environment affects you.
We talked last week about finding yourself at the bottom again - which is often reflected by our surrounding. Especially our place where we live. And often at rock bottom… is it most likely a mess.
Which is why we first talk about how this feedback can turn into a trap and then what you can do about it - be it by yourself or with help from others.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-112/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about finding yourself at the bottom again where you never wanted to be again and the shame that is usually part of it and the reluctance to get help in that moment.
That is why we first talk about why it is so hard and then things that might help to get out of there.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-111/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about once again about feeling nothing regarding a trauma, but this time we talk about what was hinted on before: Why feeling nothing regarding what happened to you is actually a very bad sign.
And since so many ignore it and suffer because of that - it is time we cover it.
irst we will talk and explain the mechanism and then what you can do and a short “how to start” at the end.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-110/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about a topic that came up during my time at “live from America Podcast “ last weekend, which turned from therapeutic abuse to a conversation about C-PTSD.
We talked - VERY briefly - about what the therapy for PTSD should look like and I feel like I didn’t do it proper justice and wanted to explain it better, because I do think it is very important to clear things up.
We first talk about what it should feel like, which type of therapy, then goals of therapy and finally what the base structure looks like.
Topic: C-PTSD (instead of therapeutic abuse) and WARNING: I talk relatively at the start about what types of things were done to me.
Video https://youtu.be/8Q-wqXJQ9mI
Audio https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-from-america-podcast/id1159634513?mt=2
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-109/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about therapeutic abuse again - this time about the why it is such a problem. Besides the obvious of course, that abuse in general is a problem. But this abuse is taboo, people don’t know what is right and wrong.
The reason I picked this topic this time is a rather unusual one: I am going to be on the “live from America Podcast “ where we are going to talk about therapeutic abuse in the episode released next Tuesday on the 5th of October.
You can listen to the podcast or watch the conversation on Youtube. I do not know what we will talk about exactly, but this topic in particular is very important and close to my heart.
While we looked last time into 5 no-go practices, this time we talk about why it is so bad and how a therapy session should be like.
Topic: C-PTSD (instead of therapeutic abuse) and WARNING: I talk relatively at the start about what types of things were done to me.
Video https://youtu.be/8Q-wqXJQ9mI
Audio https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/live-from-america-podcast/id1159634513?mt=2
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-108/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about trauma behavior, as it is often confused with triggers. And while they are at times annoying - they are not triggers nor are they are sign of bad health. A side effect of your experiences.
But they do cause a lot of confusion, uncertainty and muddy the water. So let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-107/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about something that keeps popping up: If that caused my PTSD why don’t I feel strongly about it? This is a good question to ask. As this can lead you down a complete false path and severely sabotage your healing journey.
We are looking into two variants of a small trauma activating the big one and then some ways to find the hidden trauma.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-106/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about Introspection, one of the most useful tools you ever get in your life in general - not just for PTSD. It is the same base mechanic EMDR uses and helps you to process anything so much faster and more. So it is VERY useful.
We talk first about how to get into it and then how to best use it in regards to PTSD.
EMDR studies:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6106867/ (overview)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27744424/ (Regarding eye movement)
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-105/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about a very sobering moment in your healing journey that is sadly also reflected in real life. The question “Was it all for nothing?” is a deeply dark question that can make you very easily very bitter. Or worse.
It is one of the key moments in your healing journey, where you can easily get stuck, and one of the hardest and most painful things to open up about. So let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-104/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about the question “Why can’t I just be normal again?” - which is something heard throughout the journey - from start to finish - and one of the reasons why people can’t progress on the healing journey.
Which is why it so crucial we address it and spill the tea - as the saying goes. So let us talk about it
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-103/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about bad people doing good things, which I know is a complicated and loaded topic on its own, but under our circumstances it turns into a complete mine field.
I am talking about the person who causes so much suffering doing good things. Sometimes even great things. It is a taboo we need to talk about, as we have to properly sort it out before we can move on - as conflicting as it can be.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-102/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about a topic that is the reason why many don’t seek help or accept they have PTSD or the like.
“They were good people”.
Sometimes even stating that they have no bad intentions. Sadly, that matters little - only what happened does.
So we talk this time, about good people doing bad things and why that doesn’t necessarily makes them bad people or anything less true.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-101/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we do things a little bit different.
With this being the 100th episode, I thought it would be a good time to redo the introduction, as quite a bit has changed since then.
We will go chronically from my earliest years to the most recent perspective. I will summarize a lot to keep the size manageable and try to avoid being graphic or anything the like. This should help not to overwhelm people.
I have more information in episode 1 and there will be more on the website.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-100/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about - bad days.
A rather uncomfortable topic and something everyone of us would rather avoid, but sadly is a significant part in your healing journey.
It is something we need to be open and honest about, especially with ourselves
It is frightening, unsettling and demotivating, which is why we talk today about 5 points to help you hopefully to better deal with bad days.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-99/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Therapy: https://www.johannadraconis.com/therapy/
In this episode we will talk about a question that I had on my mind ever since I started fighting back against PTSD. Why do people think PTSD can’t be cured?
There are though things that keep people from being cured, which is important to know.
I have yet to meet a person I thought was a hopeless case on principle. I met a lot of people who were stuck and therefor ended up giving up. Which is understandable but was not necessary.
But how do people get stuck and even worse remain stuck?
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-98/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about trauma again, this time about where to separate them and when they are actually belong together.
Usually the trauma get separated by the time that passed between them and then what form the trauma took. So we first talk about common vs sporadic and then how different form of abuse result in different form of traumas.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-97/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about suicide - focusing on those left behind and the coping with the suicide of another person.
It is important as we need to talk about it but it is still often taboo.
We first will talk about how PTSD/Depression warps ones sense of reality and then why it is not your fault.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-96/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Useful site:
https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/
United States
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Veterans press 1 to reach specialised support. Press 2 for Spanish-language support
(The older number, 1-800-SUICIDE will probably stop working in the near future.)
Online Chat: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
Crisis Text Line: Text "HOME" to 741741.
Canada
National Crisis Line from Crisis Services Canada (Pilot Project, phone only at present): 1.833.456.4566
Other Crisis Lines by Region Alternatively, 211 works in most of Canada, and they can advise regarding local resources.
EU Standard Emotional Support Number 116 123 - Free and available in much of Europe
Deutschland
http://www.telefonseelsorge.de/
Tel: 0800-1110111 oder 0800-1110222
Chat/Email: https://online.telefonseelsorge.de/
UK
Samaritans (www.samaritans.org)
- Voice: 116 123 (24/7 Free to call, will not appear on phone bills, formerly 08457 90 90 90)
- Email: emailjo@samaritans.org
Shout - Crisis Text Line UK (https://www.crisistextline.uk/)
- Text: SHOUT to 85258
Helplines for Men from thecalmzone.net:
- Voice: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight nationwide, also 0808 802 58 58 London and 0800 58 58 58 Merseyside)
- Text 07537 404717 (5pm to midnight, start your text with CALM2)
- Online Chat: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
ChildLine (childline.org.uk), for those 19 and under:
- Voice: 0800-11-11 (Free to call, does not appear on phone bills)
- Online Chat: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx
- Email: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Pages/Email.aspx
Papyrus HOPELINEUK, suicide prevention specialist service for children and young adults (under 35)
Hours are 9am – 10pm weekdays 2pm – 10pm weekends 2pm – 10pm bank holidays
- Voice: 0800 068 4141
- Text: 07786209697
- Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
Directory of suicide-related services: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php
Australia
13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
For find one use:
https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
In this episode we will talk about something that is the question at the core of the illness: When does a trauma become PTSD? And when doesn’t it?
This also covers why some traumas cause some people PTSD but not others.
And this leads us to the factors that determine the size of the trauma, first we get into the factors of the person affected and then the factors of the trauma itself.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-95/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about something I skimmed over only before - how it comes that trauma take what shape. What factors lead to what kind of trauma (core)?
This is mainly so you can identify if what you experienced counts towards trauma and/or for what shape and therefor category it belongs to.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-94/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about triggers once again - this time we differentiate between two different kind of triggers and how to identify them and how they can be helpful.
Last time I left out that there are different kind of triggers and you should handle them differently.
We first get into the emotions trigger and then into the trauma trigger.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-93/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about something that I keep running into: What is the difference between healed and cured? What does it mean to be cured? What are the other stages that lead up to it?
We will go through the stages and we start with hidden, then we continue with uncontrolled, contained, healed and - finally - cured.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-92/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about why separating PTSD in categories (stages in the last episodes) is so important and needed for everyone involved.
A system of categories that tell the patients where they are, so they know what to expect and what they need.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-91-100/episode-91/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the two final shapes of trauma and also update the sleeper trauma as it has changed quite a bit and then we going to get into the new shapes of Cluster Trauma and Sea Urchin
This belongs to my effort to categorize and organize PTSD and Trauma and PTS so people are better informed of what they need and more tailored help can be organized. So let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-90/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the question that is important to the way we treat PTSD and in society: Is there a difference between military and civilian trauma?
Luckily it is no longer a question if only soldiers get PTSD, but there have been some muddied water and confusion on those different situations.
I think it is very important to understand this point, as this leads to confusion and to a lot of dead ends. So let us shed some light and talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-89/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
I’m sorry to say that I just can’t record an episode.
Down with a nasty cold, which sadly makes my voice not work properly… and recording the episode in cough code would take a bit too long.
I am mostly fine, which is why I HAD hoped I could record it in time, but alas it was not meant to be and I had to admit defeat, as much as I hate it.
Hope you are all better than me and in a good place
Take care and watch yourself
Johanna
In this episode we will talk about how we end up in bad relationships - we suffering from PTSD or the like - often find that we keep having bad relationships. Be it family, friends, partner, coworker - simply any form of relationship.
You are not only imagining it - it is something that is known and it is really important to understand the reason behind.
This episode gives you an overview for the reasons that could be behind it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-87/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we get into the age old question of "Why do I sabotage myself?" - or keep if you repeately doing it. Despite our best efforts we seem to run into the same issues again and again. It happens to many, but especially those affected by PTSD can end in a loop or worsening their situation or the like.
So why do we do it? Why does it fail? We need to break the cycle, which starts with talking about it. So let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-86/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
I am sorry to say that I have to skip this episode again, because I am sick. I hope it is just a regular cold.
I had to make the decision to push myself or to skip and this time my body made my choice clear to me.
Why this is such an ongoing theme I get into in an episode soon - I plan to at least.
I am really upset, that I can’t record an actual episode this time, but next time it should be all back to normal.
Hope you are well and safe.
Take care and watch yourself
Johanna
In this episode we will talk about quite a personal topic - survivor’s guilt. We will focus this episode on validation and first band aid measure. Which means we first talk about how survivor's guilt affected me and perceived it and then the first band aid I applied with success.
We might get into counter measure in another episode - in case there is interest.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-84/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about something most of us go through when they start uncovering the trauma - and what it is connected with. The truth we once believe crumbles and in worst case - we are only left with rubble.
This is one of the most bitter and harshest truth, but how do we go from there? Even if it just an aspect of your life that needs to change, it is good to know in what direction to head. So let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-83/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about why people believe liesespite evidence clearly in front of them. Be it conspiracies, groups, people that defy reality with every breath or yourself.
As it is part of the denial process of your healing journey. So let us talk about it
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-82/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the big problem that is having made PTSD a spectrum - which it became as more and more illnesses were put under that umbrella term.
I want to emphasize the problem and - how it sadly affects you.
We first get into the different traumas and how it affects their needs and then the big problem of the limited resources this causes.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-81-90/episode-81/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears!
First I just wanted to say I hope you had a wonderful holiday season - independent from the form or shape you choose to celebrate it.
Though sadly it is that especially in this season we get a lot of dark thoughts - be it because of the darkness or for the chance to reflect what we have, had and could have. Or remind us of “things”.
Often we are forced to put on a face - I hope it wasn’t necessary this year. All oft his can make you feel incredible lonely, alone and isolated. I feel you - and not just me.
You are not alone, your family - be it by blood or kinship - might not be in the same boat as you, but they do care for you and try to help you. And if they do not - there are millions in a similar situation.
You are not some weird phenomena that barely exists - most of them are just hiding - for their own safety. It is sad how widespread this illness is. You don’t deserve this - neither do the others. You are not alone in this.
And if all fails - I care. I wouldn’t be here doing this if I didn’t. I can really only recommend keeping people around you who care and are a good influence on you. As you are hopefully on them.
This year took quite a toll on most of us - so I am happy to see it end. Hoping that the next year will be A LOT better.
So I wish you a “good slide into the new year” - the word by word translation of the German saying for Happy New Year - and all the best for it.
Hope to see you next year.
Take care and watch yourself
Johanna
In this episode we talk about being empathic is oneself. This is harder than many people believe and most don't even know where to start. We talk about where it comes, about what might help, choices from the past, learned behaviors, perfectionism and being grounded in reality.
This is improtant for your healing journey therefor it is important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-79/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about a feeling many have - the feeling of faking the whole ordeal and where It comes from. (Not the imposter syndrome)
Ever felt you turning a mouse into an elephant? Felt like "this can't be right - it wasn't THAT bad"? Struggling with coming to terms with your situation?
This is a rather common problem and it is important we talk about it
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-78/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this short episode we get into why the beginning is so hard - be it taking the first step or the uphill battle - and how we go from here.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-77/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about torture - which doesn't just affects people in prison of unjust regimes. In this instance we talk about what defines torture and if what happened to you does so too. Which is not unlikely.
It is a topic with many myths and taboos - so it is important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-76/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about a question “Are you healed yet?” - or the many variations of it.
This of course leads often to us asking “Why am I not healed yet?” - which is destructive and harmful. I know how frustrating this topic is - so let us talk about it and put things a bit into perspective.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-75/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we tak about being raised to be a victim - it doesn’t really matter if it is intentional or not. (Not grooming)
Many people wonder why they are prone to fall for predators or why they have such a hard time to stand up for themselves or why they are just such a doormat or the like.
This leads often to feeling of strong insecurity, vulnerability and so on. Many don’t really know why they are like that. So it is important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-74/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
I REALLY tried to avoid this, but there is no way around this sadly.
I am sorry, I should have recorded it earlier - but as mentioned I am VERY stubborn and refused.
I am very sick, the seasonal flu, kept me basically in bed the last weeks - I was actually surprised I could record last weeks episode.
It is caused by the situation I am in and I hate every minute of it, but I rather give myself a bit more rest than to push too early.
So, I hope to see you soon and please stay well, safe and healthy.
Take care and watch yourself
Johanna
In this episode we talk about a topic I keep running into - especially with men: Why can’t I change my emotions with logic?
Despite logic being a useful tool to keep emotions in check and use them responsible as an adult - it isn't helpful in dealing with the source of our emotions.
We talk about the difference between logic and emotions - and how we change the latter.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-72/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about 2 big problems with support groups: Reaffirming victim hood and hidden agendas. They can lead to your support group being depremental to your health and hinder your healing journey. That is why it is important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-71-79/episode-71/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the backlash we receive from our Surrounding / Social circle and society while we are on our healing path.
This has a lot to do with change and we get into why.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-70/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about what kind of life is worth living, as this question usually comes up during the PTSD period.
We are comparing the argument "Surviving - Life is precious on its own" and "Living - Life needs to be worth living" and at the end have some final words about it.
I think it is an important topic to talk about, despite being quite ab it of taboo. It is a question we need an answer for - for ourselves.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-69/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
I really, really had hoped I could avoid it this time. I even postponed the episode by a day in hope of this - but it is just too much.
The situation with my dog is coming now truly to an end. I spare you the details, but it is a horrendous situation that will end horribly either way.
The only good news is, that it will be over in the next days - one way or another.
After that I should also be finally more active again. It has been a very long fight and struggle.
I am sorry for the inconveniences that causes you.
Hope you are well and safe.
Take care and watch yourself
Johanna
In this episode we will talk about something very crucial: The subconsciousness. Why is it so important? Why is communication with it so hard?
We will dive shortly in why I use subconsciousness and not unconsciousness.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-67/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about something quite overdue: What do I do after I got my diagnosis? What am I supposed to do now? There isn’t really an instruction manual for that.
The only thing most people know is that they need therapy - which is usually pretty hard to get.
So here are the first steps that can help you tremendously you should do after you have gotten the diagnosis.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-66/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about just wanting a break from life - you know a pause button.
This doesn't just applies for PTSD. Sometimes in life it would just be wonderful to have a button to pause it.
We will talk about why we feel this way and what we can do.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-61-65/episode-65/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears.
This year has truly proven to be a challenge on multiple levels.
I received recently the news of the loss of the last outer family member of mine I still on good terms with.
My grandfather almost 96 years old.
I am sure you understand and I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Watch yourselves and take very good care of you.
Johanna
In this episode we talk about Forgiveness and why it isn't necessary. Often we hear "you need to forgive to heal" which is not accurate. Let us talk about why and what we can do instead.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-61-65/episode-63/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we clarify what it means to have PTSD, what happens at the breakout, when it happens and why it happens usually. After that we get into to what kind of false assumptions and actions this leads.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-61-65/episode-62/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about something most likely all too familiar for most of you. The feeling of not being able to talk with anyone truly. Be it about what happened or what you feel.
This feeling can make you feel very isolated and can lead to depression. That is why I think it is very important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-61-65/episode-61/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about opposite of the healing wave - the recovery wave.
This happens if you get triggered, hurt, traumatized or anything the like.
Unlike the healing wave the recovery wave just reestablishes the status quo - if not worse.
We talk about the phases of the wave and where it differentiates to the healing one.
It might help you understand what is happening to you.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-56-60/episode-60/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about the phases of the healing waves and when it doesn’t really apply. The healing wave is the up and down that mark our healing path.
It is about explaining why we feel the way we do during the healing process. And it helps us access where we are at and how we can improve our healing - by learning to 'ride the wave'.
So we first go step by step of the healing wave, then when it doesn’t apply and why it sometimes seems it doesn’t end.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-56-60/episode-59/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this Episode we talk about being overwhelmed, when everything is just too much and you can't really do anything. Not just limited on PTSD, but this is the focus on this episode.
We first get into why does it happen, then in what we can do and lastly why that sometimes means we might have to take a step back
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-56-60/episode-58/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the question many don't dare to ask out loud: Will this nightmare ever end? And the hopelessness associated with it.
We first get into why we feel this way, then we answert the title question and lastly what we can do about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-56-60/episode-57/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about living with your decision and a bit about the guilt that is sometimes associated with it.
We talk about the impact of the decision, shortly about forgiving yourself and accepting the decision.
Many topics we surely will revisit.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-56-60/episode-56/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about why you feel sometimes worse, when you are getting better.
It is counter intuitive that you feel worse, when you are getting better, which is why many think this is them getting worse and this causes depression and the like.
We first talk about why you feel first worse, when you start your healing journey or a new chapter. Then we talk about why the lack of emotions is bad and the suddenly outpouring of emotions is good.
In the end just a short summary how you can actually see if you are getting better.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-51-54/episode-54/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about change, why it is necessary and why it is so hard.
Not just something we face when healing from PTSD, but also in life in general.
So it is important that we talk about it and maybe (and hopefully) better accept change.
Clip mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VbYokM9dY4
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-51-54/episode-53/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we revisit the topic trauma again to update it.
This time we go intot he shapes of the Ring and Ball Trauma. Unlike the Sleeper Trauma these two aren't really hiding and more obvious.
Nonetheless it is really helpful to know what their shapes look like.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-51-54/episode-52/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we revisit the topic trauma to update it.
We talk about what kind of shapes the trauma can take. This time we talk about the most sneaky and sabotaging one, the sleeper trauma.
Named after sleeper agents and their similar behavior. So first we get into the name and behavior of the trauma and then how we can try to find it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-51-54/episode-51/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the up and downs of healing. What they are, why sometimes going down means you are healing. As this is one of the more confusing and frustrating parts of the healing process. After that we ask what we can for our healing progress.
And in the end a little thank you for 50 episodes.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-46-50/episode-50/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this Episode we talk about therapeutic abuse, about 5 No-go practices to be precise.
The 5 practices I will go into in a bit go from being wrong to being harmful for the patients.
That means we start with peddling, then we question if the past is irrelevant, that men don’t have feelings, the meaning of a person being a family member and how you have to be "y" if you are "x".
It is a taboo subject, so it is really important we talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-46-50/episode-49/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about Injustice and dealing with the emotions - which we talked about last week. Not just with the sadness and the anger and everything in between.
Dealing with the emotions is crucial in removing it from your system or at least lessen the symptoms. We first talk about how to address it and then a few examples how to do it.
So, let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-46-50/episode-48/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about Injustice. More specifically about the feelings that are caused by Injustice. Especially for people suffering from a Trauma often end up with the short end of the stick. First we talk about what is unjust and the cause of the emotions we get.
Let us talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-46-50/episode-47/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about a rather somber topic: The sudden need to kill yourself that a Person suffering from severe (C)PTSD might encounter.
This is not the normal suicide thoughts that build up nor the random wild thoughts you might encounter. This comes out of nowhere and disappear in a similar fashion - it is something unique to this illness (as far as I know).
I think it is something important to know, that is why we talk about it in this episode.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-46-50/episode-46/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this weeks episode we talk about the cause of Depression: Helplessness.
We talk about the cause of Depression and how it can help us with Depression.
This is a baseline that is supposed to help and reveal what to aim for.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-45/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we get into the mechanism of triggers. Fight or Flight or Freeze.
We talk about how tiggers work and how they are caused.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-44/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Hello my dears,
sadly the Corona Virus returned. I had no control over the factors causing it
I should be fine next week, but I was in no position to record a full episode.
So I hope to see you next week.
Watch yourselves and take care!
In this episode we talk about how I experience my Corona.
Since there a lot of questions going around and people are scared and confused, I thought it might be helpful if I share my insights.
Sadly I am still in a strong grip by this illness, but I hope I be back to the regular topic next week. I am pretty optimistic about it.
Hello my dears,
sadly I am sick and have the Corona Virus.
I should be fine soon, but to be sure, I skipped recording this weeks episode.
I hope I am back soon.
Follow the safety instructions!
Watch yourselves and take care!
Am I still me? A question many ask who are hit with great challenges in their lives. During that time a lot of change happens and sometimes people wonder if they are still themselves.
This applies to people who suffer from tragic losses, mental illnesses, being handicapped, suddenly loosing everything and so on and so forth.
But I noticed a lot of people seem to think that a mental illness is like a transformation that will turn you into something you are not. Like a werewolf. Which is one of the reason to fear admit they need help and/or talk about it.
So let us talk about it and shed some light on the whole thing, shall we?
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-40/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Are you sometimes feeling there is something dark inside of you? Somethings that makes you uncomfortable? Or sometimes you react in a situation that is really unlike you?
There is something inside of you and we talk about how to deal with it in this episode.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-39/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Do you feel sometimes empty inside? Or do you have regularly pain in your chest? Which kind of feels like a constant heart break?
Is the emptiness inside you make oyu feel hollow? Empty? Your life empty?
This might help you against that.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-38/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Do you ever wonder if it really happened? Like... you know it happened, but was it really that bad? Like, really?
There is often denial and a form of uncertainty regarding the trauma received or what happened to us. It is usually accompanied by doubt and insecurity.
So let us talk about it and break the silence a bit about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-37/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about silence, this time the one that is forced upon the victim from the abuser.We go over how the silence is used and how it gets established by the abuser.
Ensuring that the victim remains silent is one of the central methods of abusers - so it is important to know about it and how it is done.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-36-45/episode-36/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about silence. THE silence. The silence that you need to break usually, when you try to talk abotu your trauma/PTSD/etc.
Where does the Silence come from? Why is it harming the victims and aiding abusers?
We talk about why it is so hard to break the Silence and if we even have to break the silence.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-31-35/episode-35
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Many are unsure if what they went through is really a trauma. Especially if it didn't was this one big time event. There are obvious traumas, the more gray ones and there is a nice trick you can use to try to find them.
So in this episode we try to shed a bit of light on that.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-31-35/episode-34
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
Do you just feel... low battery? Like you have barely enough energy to do everyday things? Everything seems to be just different shades of grey?
With a few sprinkles of color here and there?
Does your favorite food doesn't taste anymore like it did? The games you once loved to play are just not really fun anymore? Or the book you liked to read?
Do you find it hard to motivate yourself doing... anything really?
If those question somehow ring a bell within you, then it is likely you have depression.
So let us talk about it.
The owl poster I mentioned in the podcast is from Boggle! the owl.
https://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/post/41509206591/ive-been-getting-a-lot-of-these-lately-and-i
And another one I found while looking for it:
https://boggletheowl.tumblr.com/image/60014554946
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-31-35/episode-33
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about why breaks are important, though not only for PTSD.
We first talk a bit why breaks are generally a good thing, then we talk about how breaks help our brain sort things out and then we talk about how it helps with our PTSD especially.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-31-35/episode-32
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we learn to rewrite our brains or how to change yourself or how to change your habits or the like.
As one can imagine, this is useful beyond (C-)PTSD and can help you in many aspects of your life. This episode just explains the process and how it works. Deeper dives might happen in the future.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-31-35/episode-31
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we learn how to plan the healing procress by making multiple steps plan, which is very helpful. We also talk about what those steps realisticly look like and get an example for it. Lastly we take about the importance of timing and why it is important for dealing with blocks.
This is once again not just helpful for PTSD but generally how to tackle things and how to deal with bigger problems/plans/etc.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-26-30/episode-30
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about how to find the light in the darkness. The light within you. Or in other words: How to become your own cheerleader or support.
This is important. Not just for PTSD, but for life in general. First we talk about celebrating our own victories and then how to handle our own negativity.
I hope you have wonderful holidays.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-26-30/episode-29
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the age old question: Am I wrong or is everyone else?
We first start with a simple experiment, that shows how strong the influence of the group around us can be. Then we talk about group pressure and standing your ground, which is hard, but not impossible. Then we are checking the logic step by step to make sure we are in the right and figure out the other person position. Ant in the end we ask for a time out.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-26-30/episode-28
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the frustrating feeling of how slowly the change and healing process is.
First we talk about a better prespective regarding your healing progress and why you should give yourself a break sometimes.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-26-30/episode-27
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about the question that often starts the journey: Could I have (C)PTSD?
I will start asking for the simple symptoms and then work myself up to the harder ones. This is to help the people who are unsure and want to get answers. For others who already know this might be helpful to be aware what also could be connected to ones PTSD.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-26-30/episode-26
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we once again talk about manipulation.
This time we don't talk just about how you are expected to accept the blame but also do something.
We give a short overview over guilt tripping, then a common example and then a bit darker one.
Knowing how it works is half the trick to beat it, that is why we are talking about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-21-25/episode-25
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we will talk about why I believe in you. The reason why I did this podcast, because I believe in you and your ability to cure yourself.
First we talk about the question often heard "Can I do it?" and then I answer the question "How did YOU do it?" and then we talk about the benefits of "Just keep walking".
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-21-25/episode-24
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about manipulation language. About how it is all your fault, to be more precise. Or at least that is what they want you to believe.
We talk about the language, who uses it, the type of logic used and how to deal with it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-21-25/episode-23
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about hallucinations or visions, this time we turn to the darker side. We first talk about how PTSD can escalate, how it then can lead to a loosing grip of reality and later on about the lost grip of reality.
We talk about how it can come to those results often seen in the media and how harmful the visions can be, if they are not kept under control.
We end it on a few words of comfort.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-21-25/episode-22
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about hallucinations or visions. First we talk about what they are, how they appear and why. Then we talk about how we can use them on our healing path.
After we went over their purpose and usefulness, we talk about the unwanted ones we have in our everyday life and how we can cause wanted ones, to serve our purpose.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-21-25/episode-21
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about shame of your behavior, first as an overview and then in the form of the question "Why did I let this happen?".
Afterwards we talk about feeling ashamed of what happened to you, as it is a shame of defeat and afterwards we talk about the feeling regarding what others have.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-16-20/episode-20/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about shame - in this episode spefically about the feeling of shame regarding the reactions of people. Explaning your situation can lead to unhelpful reactions.
So, we first talk about them, the caring and the uncaring ones, then what we can do about them.
Afterwards we talk about why this is so effective on us.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-16-20/episode-19/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we talk about shame - in this episode spefically about the shame about your current situation and the shame about telling anyone about it.
Shame is sadly a topic that is used by abuser and is something, that keeps lips sealed and wounds open. That is why it is important to talk about it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-16-20/episode-18/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode I over what helped me get through the darkest times of my life, then about signs you are getting betters, then signs you are healed and in the end the difference between healed and cured. I hope with this episode to help people get through dark times and give them something to look forward to.
I apologize for my weak voice, I am still sick it seems. I hope you like it nonetheless.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-16-20/episode-17/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we deal with the most imporant part of the therapy - the understanding of the trauma. We go into more detail why it is so important, how the brain works, what the difference between knowing and understanding is, how we can train it and why you can't just talk away the trauma.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-16-20/episode-16/
Contact: contactme@johannadraconis.com
In this episode we examine the last of the more common therapy methods, EMDR, the eye movement therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing to be precise), things that are helpful, may it be supportive behavior or therapies and patient abuse, which is sadly a thing that occurs and needs to be talked about.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-11-15/episode-15/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12533038526/Ep15+PTSD+therapy+methods+and+abuse+II.rtf?t=1568759272
In this episode we examine the first 3 of the more common therapy methods, we examine what they are, for which form of PTSD they are useful and their downsides.
In this case the methods are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) and Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PE or PET).
The rest will be up next week.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-11-15/episode-14/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12529425126/Ep14+PTSD+therapy+methods+and+abuse+I.rtf
In this episode we talk once again about something many people struggle:
About how to explain the illness itself, the healing process and some of its symtoms.
It is difficult to find the proper words when facing something like PTSD and communicate it to ones family.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-11-15/episode-13/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12522238726/Ep13+Communicating+PTSD+with+family%2C+etc+II.rtf?t=1567563047
In this episode we talk once again about something many people struggle:
About how to break to your family you have PTSD and how to respond to questions.
It is difficult to find the proper words when facing something like PTSD and communicate it to ones family.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-11-15/episode-12/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12519574526/Ep12+Communicating+PTSD+with+family%2C+etc.rtf?t=1566949482
Today we talk about something, many people I help with struggle.
They are lost, don't know where to turn to and are overwhelmed.
So we are taking it step by step to get out of that situation.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-11-15/episode-11/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12517349026/Ep+11+How+to+deal+with+Too+many+choices%2C+lost+in+the+dark%2C+overwhelming.rtf
This time I explain the plan or roadmap for my therapy/podcast.
Since my therapy isn't as linear as I thought it to be, I realized it is about time I properly explain how the therapy plans out.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-6-10/episode-10/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12514701426/Ep10+-+The+plan+of+my+therapy+%28podcast%29+TS.rtf
In this episode we learn how we can track down other trigger.
There are several methods to do it and how they work.
Basically part 3 of the removing triggers episodes.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-6-10/episode-9/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12507992426/Ep9+How+to+hunt+down+tiggers+TS.rtf
This is the second part on how to remove triggers once and for all.
Triggers are indeed completely removeable and doing so, greatly improves your life quality.
This is a rather broadly approach, so that as many people as possible can use it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-6-10/episode-8/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12504223826/Ep8+How+to+remove+triggers+II+TS.rtf?t=1564540320
This week we get into part 1 on how to remove triggers from your life.
Triggers are indeed completely removeable and doing so, greatly improves your life quality.
This is a rather broadly approach, so that as many people as possible can use it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-6-10/episode-7/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12497183726/Ep7+How+to+remove+triggers+I+TS.rtf?t=1563929209
In this episode I explain why we can use triggers to help us defeat PTSD.
And how we get life quality back this way.
Next week we get into the how.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-6-10/episode-6/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12494752826/Ep6+Why+triggers+are+helpful.rtf?t=1563314965
In this episode I explain what you can do everyday to keep your PTSD as low as possible and give your brain the energy it needs to combat PTSD.
It can help you to know, what you can do in your everyday life to improve your situation and what is helpful against PTSD.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-1-5/episode-5/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12491570926/Ep5+%28Daily%29+counter+measures.rtf?t=1562723271
This episode it about what to do in case you get a phase/episode/triggered/etc. and what helps reduce its symptoms.
It is a basic 4 step plan what to in such situations and of course what you can to preventive methods.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-1-5/episode-4/
https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12487384326/EP+4+In+case+of+an+emergency+TS.rtf
This time we go into the heart of PTSD, which is the trauma. It's the root for everything. We get into the many factors that influence the extent of the trauma and see what we can do to get rid of it.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-1-5/episode-3/
Transcript file: https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12485728126/Ep+3+Trauma+Transcript.rtf
In this episode we talk about PTSD, C-PTSD and PTS shortly. After that we dive into the 15 Symptoms that are most common to accompany PTSD. These are the basics, so we are all on the same page for future episodes.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-1-5/episode-2/
Transcript file: https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12484440026/Ep+2+PTSD+and+Symptoms+Transcript.rtf
In this Episode I tell a short summary of my story and what lead me to making the podcast.
TRIGGER WARNING: I might not go into details, but if you are in a not safe position at this moment, I don't recommend listening to it.
My story isn't a pretty one and it can be hard to listen to.
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/podcast/episode-1-5/episode-1/
Transcript file: https://www.johannadraconis.com/app/download/12484437626/Ep+1+Introduction+Transcript.rtf