The 365 Project: Recent Episodes
Eric Wallack
Inspired by song diarists like David Andrew Strackany (aka PALEO), I endeavor to write, record and upload a song a day for 365 days.
visit my blog here:http://bhagiti.blogspot.com/
Well folks, I’ve met the storage capacity maximum for this site (and just at the halfway point)! The saga continues to its completion at http://songjournal2.podomatic.com/ so please take a minute to update your bookmarks and subscriptions. The first entry at the new location will be Tuesday, Oct 23 and this site will remain up as an archive of the project to this point. My deepest thanks for everyone who’s been following along and for those curious enough to drop in.
See you on the other side!
Eric
i’ll live a month of sundays all in one day if only i could make them them go away
the tea kettle mousetrap reflection tool doesn’t work as planned and the sun sets as quickly as it rises
no holy ghost building no pilgrim stranger or salvation premium
the band doesn’t even attempt to tune before they begin the sad waltz for monday nor do i dance
no holy ghost building no pilgrim stranger or salvation premium
bhagiti 10.22.07 perrysburg, oh
goodbyes and leavings beginnings middles and ends there’s no place to stay no place to stay
the machine moves with or without me sometimes i’m on sometimes i want off
a puzzle piece turned upside down doesn’t fit unless the rest of the world is too
if the world is upside down then i’m face up
bhagiti 10.21.07 perrysburg, oh
wide open spaces enclosed in a moment all that meant anything surrounded by so much detail and pointlessness was you
and then we crossed the divide together
it was the only thing that mattered not the elevator bread nor the hopeless microfine lines they drew
when we crossed the divide together
bhagiti 10.20.07 perrysburg, oh
it was all desks and beds dark from the lamps and faulty wiring and doors leading nowhere
and natalie disappeared into the ductwork of a new old house we never knew
another old house devours us another old house swallows us whole
so i bought a tiny japanese man he was on the lam to find her he disappeared in there too
another old house devours us another old house swallows us whole
bhagiti 10.19.07 perrysburg, oh
take a picture it lasts longer it’s a thousand misunderstood words but it holds no candle to a thousand incarnations of a rose
take your comic book x-ray specs and tell me can you see my secret desire my longest day my dream of the eternal return or just the pixel myth of the last day
take a picture it lasts longer
take a picture it lasts longer
bhagiti 10.18.07 perrysburg, oh
there are roads and there are roads no matter which ones you take you always end up in the same place
we can run headlong into heather birds and bees escaping into dry leaves clinging to sweaters all the same
choosing’s a game win or lose choosing’s a game win or lose
spin the big wheel and watch yourself roll off the tracks bells and whistles look best with party hats and shame
choosing’s a game win or lose choosing’s a game win or lose
bhagiti 10.17.07 perrysburg, oh
in these empty passenger cars with no engine to pull them we can live out here in the cold pile everything around us and make a go
we’ll pretend to be buried alive though this coffin is too small and whoever digs us up will be our forever and in the cold we’ll make a go
will it be you first or me another blanket please will it be you first or me another blanket please
and when they come looking for us i’ll try hard not to laugh as they poke their way through blankets and phony coffins looking for their lo and behold
will it be you first or me another blanket please will it be you first or me another blanket please
bhagiti 10.16.07 perrysburg, oh
the leaves know nothing of a mile the dirt underneath can’t see the stars
sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again
frost on the pumpkin says it’s time ice and mist leaks from the sky
sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again
at the gate
what’s your name i said what’s your name
(nobody)
sometimes you have to be dead before you can be born again
bhagit 10.14.07 perrysburg, oh
we knew the mask you wore to hide from yourself didn’t cover the words you tore up and swept under the rug
words piled high into a balcony from which lovers spurned or otherwise fling themselves into senselessness
you can get yourself some time or a rope but time is longer than rope
and we all knew the mask was better than the cranberries and salamanders you were so close to becoming
you can get yourself some time or a rope but time is longer than rope
bhagiti 10.13.07 perrysburg, oh
it was always the thinnest of thin ice spiderwebbing through your veins like lost highways no longer making the trip home afraid of what you thought you’d find there
and at camp like canoes we slept overturned our oars in our fishbaskets afraid to laugh and you never did and i knew you couldn’t and that you didn’t care for the moon
and neither could i but i did and neither could i but i did
and later in january when the ground was as cold as you could take it you pulled me outside and pulled everything off and didn’t shiver one bit and forced yourself to smile but you couldn’t make it last
and neither could i but i did and neither could i but i did
and i knew you wouldn’t have it any other way and i knew you wouldn’t have it any other way any other way any other way
bhagiti 10.12.07 perrysburg, oh
sleep comes always just before the alarm through the night trains scream and i want them to take me away or run me over
the cold through the window is finally real this time and the bed that wouldn’t let me sleep now won’t let me go but i do
when does it all stop when will it be quiet again pull the plug pull the plug
i will daydream my return in blankets sitting in the middle of the autumn woods covered in leaves and twigs warm and content
when does it all stop when will it be quiet again pull the plug pull the plug
bhagiti 10.11.07 perrysburg, oh
the high altitude jet plane reimagining cumulous with straightedge vapor trails is a phantom whose presence is unclear
i suppose that everyone who has fallen to earth regretted in an instant believing in a phantom whose presence is unclear
leave it to the birds leave it to the birds
i’m happy sticking to the ground firmly attached by forces beyond my control believing in a phantom whose power is clear
leave it to the birds leave it to the birds
bhagiti 10.10.07 perrysburg
gliding gliding hypnotized penny for your thoughts how much to keep them to yourself make me guess what broken bread can’t be fixed again what fish eaten can’t swim again what wine can’t return to the vine
meanwhile night peeks through blinds and my light sneaks back though neither have eyes needing blinding instead a threshold between life and living or knowing and not
gliding gliding hypnotized america a main drag that isn’t a cowboy that’s neither a continental divide that doesn’t a jacket that smells of leaves and leaving and in the breastpocket a notebook that reads itself
bhagiti 10.9.07 perrysburg, oh
ohio stretches like a lie toward the plains and promises of the west to the sleepy south below the cool green east and the endless forests of the north
roads lead in or away roads lead in or away
ohio is a heart that no longer beats kept alive by trains pumping its crisscrossing veins and sad eyed summer slaves to the catsup trade
roads lead in or away roads lead in or away
ohio dead or dying no arrow filled sebastian merely an unavoidable swamp that continuously tries to refill itself with the muck long removed
roads lead in or away roads lead in or away
bhagiti 10.8.07 perrysburg, oh
the sky is as black as a crow and as beautiful
my belly full of grapes makes no complaint and the cool humidity of morning struggles between the death of summer and the birth of death
it caresses me seduces me kisses me licking my face as if to say take me now for tomorrow we are gone
bhagiti 10.7.07 perrysburg, oh
i stand in the middle of ten thousand streets all at once and everywhere they lead is nowhere each screaming in concrete seducing with slick rainsoaked curves but each a dead end none to salvation nor even to acceptable ruin
ten thousand streets all at once everywhere a spiderweb traffic jam of industrial strength chaos linear asphalt beauty a din of scrape and roar all leading to madness madness of desire madness of restlessness madness of choice madness of singularity madness of loss madness of responsibility madness of hope madness of hopelessness
bhagiti 10.6.07 perrysburg, oh
morning makes no compromises it reveals to us the actions of the night and hides the moon in its light
everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on
we are not morning like prospectors without pans we wade in murky water that hides untold riches
everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on
tripping over pebbles and god we stumble toward nothing when everything is directly below
everything before is meaningless everything before is everything which side are you on
bhagiti 10.5.07 perrysburg, oh
i went to the station no suitcase in my hand and there an old man you leavin or stayin i’m re-parting remaining and departing at the same time that is i’m here but never here
so there i sat on the platform watching the trains come and go people’s faces staring out at other possible realities each better than their own that is they’re here but never here
bhagiti 10.4.07 perryburg, oh
outside now we are all seated around a large round piano we each have the notes that are ours
we begin playing each after the other and it is strange beautiful music before it begins to rain
out of the night endlessly twisting i lay dreaming
the piano fills with water soon goldfish appear flickering in the dark water born from the music
jay closes the lid and folds everything up until it’s gone water fish and all before it stops raining
out of the night endlessly twisting i lay dreaming
bhagiti 10.3.07 perrysburg, oh
my barn is full of stars pitched up high with blankets of blue and green glowing strange sequins and when it’s cold i see my breath and in the breath-dust are spelled out the words i can’t seem to say letters spill out like a vaporized soup backlit by the barn-glow that the neighbors know isn’t quite right but later at night i return to the blue blankets awash in the radiance of my celestial secrets each within five points of right removed from their seas of night there with me burning into me dreams of olden days and days yet still to be seen the light is bright and i have lost sight of all that isn’t night and the pretend joy of all i ever wanted to be and see is there forever shielded by universal dreams never meant to be or be seen by the likes of me and here everything is everything seen and unseen
bhagiti 10.2.07 perrysburg, oh
hey now stop cowering under barley rows and hiding in the rye no escaping into wheat and corn leave that for the birds
the mind’s pastures harvested soon will sleep for the moon will too plump again for the last time and leave you to the birds
as the husks dry the worm reminds that fruit is sweetest before it dies
as kids my brother and i ran barefoot through the corn unafraid of what the crow had known and left us to the birds
hey now stop cowering under barley rows and hiding in the rye no escaping into wheat and corn leave that for the birds
as the husks dry the worm reminds that fruit is sweetest before it dies
bhagiti 10.1.07 perrysburg, oh
got to get this all together and reconcile the pines with the silver the damp with the wet and the sand with the secrets of the soul
in a st. vitus dance like a bonfire taunting all the ghosts of the forest while the flames flicker and the stars shimmer before turning away
what way what way what penelope would wait and for how long
the birds at the window ruffle their sad feathers waiting for seeds to grow more flittering bellies to rule the trees and windowsills
the compass won’t stop spinning nothing looks the same anymore the moon never stops laughing and paper boats will only get you so far
what way what way what penelope would wait and for how long
bhagiti 9.30. 07 perrysburg, oh
i am not one to take to the road i listen to the trees and stare at the moon wondering how far is far
it rains in spirals inside my head the hissing always in my ears reminding me to keep the windows open
let it in let it out let it in let it out
as leaves leap like lovers and fools and night regains control over the glass i will take it head-on
the fish eagle cannot swim nor can the flying fish fly but we all know truth is somewhere in between
let it in let it out let it in let it out
bhagiti 9.29.07 perrysburg, oh
what’s your favorite anything does it have to do with dime turn decisions or the way telephones make the tormenting stop
once in a minute i dreamt every dream i ever had vivid as life and i drank them in cool and slow so they wouldn’t stop
tie a bell around your neck let everybody know you’re there
let’s erase constellations and make ‘em up new this light is long dead before we were born our light soon will sometime stop
like some crazy lunatic who would shoot me just to see me try there has got to be a better way to make it stop
tie a bell around your neck let everybody know you’re there
bhagiti 9.28.07 perrysburg, oh
what dustspeck floating by teeming with tiny mystery was your disappearing act
where did everyone go where did everyone go
your headsup penny was one of the best stuck full of wisdom and lucky magic
i know you know I know i know you know I know
hope hangs like a wish on a string under daisies ripe with pollen and tears
listen, i can’t look away listen, i can’t look away
bhagiti 9.27.07 perrysburg, oh
the tree outside squeaking heavy with tiny hollow-boned birds weightless brown puffs of seeded white bellies behind them the dusky sky before the curtain is pulled back illuminating the deception of old gods constellations pinprick white lights waiting for some kid to shoot ‘em out
you know how it goes your petals drop though your feet are deep in the dirt like daisies pushing up through the rainy day sidewalk in kid’s colored chalk the lobster sings when he hits the pan he takes it like a man the cook faces the music as the glass pinches the sand
time is time make up your mind time is time make up your mind
when it gets down to it no matter how many times venus crosses the sky our eyes refuse to believe she’s anything but a star lost missing her arms a cool pale violet diamond hung ‘round the neck of a moon she can’t embrace what a waste all the world’s lovers can’t escape the treason of dreams
in the great lottery we’ve won a prize we all die but we get a little slice of heavenly pie cut six-point-five billion times all in one bite and you smile then forever in your stomach it glows to remind you that time won’t bind you and the three vultures still eye you with delicious suspicions that there is
time is time make up your mind time is time make up your mind
bhagiti 9.26.07 perrysburg, oh
i have bathed in the stream of consciousness under the featherbed pillows of reason and rhyme
the dust under boxcars makes me sad like how the purple summer sun sometimes seems all alone
it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it
staring back at me like a religion of photographs torn from a stranger’s journal or breastpocket
an alchemist’s crucible the gloomy vessel of powdery failed attempts at dreaming in gold
it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it
pound grommets into anvils of soap and birdfeathers string them with gossamer thread garments of hope
it all means something doesn’t it it’s all nothing isn’t it
bhagiti 9.25.07 perrysburg, oh
what four questions would i ask that i haven’t asked already i know the answers won’t come it’s ok
the barn doors are open and the horses are long gone they won’t return again it’s ok
this must be the place this must be the place my slow boat to china has just come in
what i wouldn’t give i long to see japan i dream of underwater seaweed it’s ok
this must be the place this must be the place my slow boat to china has just come in
bhagiti 9.24.07 perrysburg, oh
time winds through the by and by one moment is all it takes
and running through it a single shiny thread of liquid silver
but that’s not what the thief wants the root of the root is obscure
pull the blinds pull the blinds
the worm knows both the apple and the heart both sweet with desire
inside a forest silence and flight fight for impossibility alone
pull the blinds pull the blinds
bhagiti 9.23.07 perrysburg, oh
a piano wrapped around a room it will only play one tune
it will have to do it will have to do
a birdcage big enough for two but mine only knows one tune
it will have to do it will have to do
if there was only one song would it need to be sung would we secretly dream up the rest and keep them hidden inside like sidewalk pennies and good luck charms
one year wrapped around me like a shroud tune after tune
it will have to do it will have to do
bhagiti 9.22.07 perrysburgh, oh
i’m going to press this song up against the wall and in no uncertain terms
i’m going to have my way with you
i’ve had it with you let me love you stop resisting you know we’re halfway through
i’m going to have my way with you
let me take you to evergreen pines trampled leaves under toe tucked inside wool blankets under snow or slip past the undersea green weeds
i don’t ask for much in return just give up your silver threaded pearls of impulse
i’m going to have my way with you
bhagiti 9.21.2007 perrysburg, oh
yesterday i saw a leaf leap from a tree it just let go an arc of awkward freedom and instead of falling it lifted up and out of sight
stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough
like slipping through pale mist the kiss of cold against skin every button undone down to the last one down down down down
when you’re ready to leap let go crop circle geometry will be your guide you will glide awkwardly lifted up and out of sight
stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough
what mystery still remains what survives the reigns the harnessed desire that strains to reach inside and touch the dust of dreams
stand on a chair lift your hands high it is never enough
bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh
i have forgotten why tell me again
am i pushing this along or am i being dragged limply behind
sometimes i want to pretend each day doesn’t matter
can the angel-fueled furnace churning the words burning in turns bake my blackbird pie
will the rope that keeps me tied to the back of this bakery delivery truck cease to exist
besides what’s so easy about sugar fruit flour and heat
bhagiti 9.19.07 perrysburg, oh
why is it like this why does the day kiss the light from satellites above
what sleepybug journeyed eye can compromise what i have known all along that there is nothing but a heatseeking heart beating deep inside of me
why can’t i hide this why do the birds miss the sigh from my eyes above
what tatertot tasted kiss do i miss the most like the pale ghost who hangs from my bedpost a sad memory of how everything used to be
you turn your leaves and greet the trees on hands and knees and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i
like riding a bicycle full speed into snowflakes obliterating across our faces geometric teary diamonds dissolving against the heat of our cheeks
you turn your leaves and greet the trees on hands and knees and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i and wonder what kind of fool am i
bhagiti 9.18.07 perrysburg, oh
sometimes i float sometimes i sink in between there is weightlessness
i am heavy with weightlessness it presses down on me like a hawk before the kill
the moon begins to swell for the sixth time and the hawk clears the yard before weightless resistance lifts itself skyward
i will turn a corner i will turn a corner
bhagiti 9.20.07 perrysburg, oh
agile grace under four-corner street lamp humming light orange mystery
cool in the chaos of shouts squealling tires in the din you ruled from the alley
i will look for you always and again otherwise this city’s already dead
and then i lost you under the wheels they destroyed your ginger symmetry
sometimes the only thing that matters is what we will never understand
i will look for you always and again otherwise this city’s already dead
bhagiti 9.16.07 perrysburg, oh
i look over the edge and they’re all gone not a single scrap of paper to be seen
eaten buried or retrieved this transmission is slowly weakening
nothing’s lost that can be found everything is someplace
like a squirrel who spends his life searching to find
nothing’s lost nothing’s lost
bhagiti 9.15.07 perrysburg, oh
i get so tired sometimes i want to disappear into it
lose myself wrapped in the arms of morpheus forever
tonight yes i said yes tonight
i will give in very soon i will slip past the gate without fail
tonight yes i said yes tonight
bhagiti 9.14.07 perrysburg, oh
the blankets wouldn’t release me as i lay trying to go back to where i was minutes ago with the cold from the open window working its way into my failed attempt at dream recovery
morning is a cruel killer of warm blanketed bliss a destroyer of dreams evaporating the gentle black of night and pressing the moon into submission
night keeps its greatest secret during the day in hiding from the accusations of the sun
bhagiti 9.13.07 perrysburg, oh
a round house in the middle of the old neighborhood and there i snapped music around my head before leaving
you lived in a glass cube high in the trees hidden from others though exposed to me and to you i did climb
always and again the same is never the same is never the same again
and after we climbed out onto a limb dangling our feet over the black water underneath the moon and laughed
always and again the same is never the same is never the same again
bhagiti 9.12.07 perrysburg, oh
i awoke to the crispy cool of autumn in the air today it’s chill embraced me with its leaf mold caress as i lay sleeping dreaming a kiss
fall the reverse resurrection i love you and your harvest moons and your chilly clarity but you are no lover you take but cannot ever give
i will be here same time next year i will be here
every day i will slip into you surrounded by increasing night and breathe deep your cool before we part again never having shared a single secret
i will be here same time next year i will be here
bhagiti 9.11.07 perrysburg, oh
peas in a pod what does it all mean the vines are long but have surely reached something
tell me something anything tell me something anything
last night a kitchen full of dying birds in cages we healed them with sunflower seeds
tell me something anything tell me something anything
everything quiet speaks again but we don’t always hear it doesn’t mean we’re not listening
tell me something anything tell me something anything
bhagiti 9.10.7 perrysburg, oh
my shoes in a dream and my feet in them in awful brackish water where i found indian drums and later a man tried to kill me for them
i woke up again to rain already feeling the wet seeping in to my bones wondering what water means to me and if it figures in my death
why water why do i never seem to escape love and death within your cool green and blue brine at once i breathe then die
bhagiti 9.9.07 perrysburg, oh
nothing beats rain in the morning before the sun and bird worms here the bed a paradise of non-escape a warm refuge in diaphanous gossamer at one with lingering half dreams and the hissing against the leaves outside the moon that tormented me last week is gone now and the sky through my window drips dark as i make my way out of night to fight off the day
bhagiti 9.8.07 perrysburg, oh
no full range bleary eyed evening moon hypnosis can make the morning snowglobe cry
daybreak dreams everlast the longest haunting the rest of the day
for two weeks here i’ve lingered each of these a cipher
shouts and kissing nowhere running underwater flying clamshell mystery
stuck between night and day a limbo of consciousness i can’t escape
for two weeks here i’ve lingered each of these a cipher
bhagiti 9.7.07 perrysburg, oh
i want to float i want gravity to lose its hold on me just a little i want to move with a little less resistance
i used to dream i was invisible and that i could fly i would disappear and float away over the playground
it sounds simple but there’s no comprehending this
now invisibility is an impossibility but there’s still hope for light between the earth and the bottom of my feet
it sounds simple but there’s no comprehending this
bhagiti 9.6.07 perrysburg, oh
i once knew this girl and rain poured from her fingers but the only parade she ever touched was her own
once i squeezed my finger to see if the water would come and just as i was about to stop i could only raise a drop
some people have all the luck some people have all the luck
when counting stones or stars you need to go by thirteens and sevens the logic of happiness has nothing to do with elevens
the bridges crossed and powders lost are not for coming and going but for dandelions growing and fingers that weep
some people have all the luck some people have all the luck
bhagiti 9.5.07 perrysburg, oh
last night the moon waning from behind dappled backlit clouds directed my dreaming
even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you
there i witnessed three deaths including my own each still heavy within me i am shaken
even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you
tonight i will pull the curtains in tight to keep that light from seeping into my senseless sleeping
even so cruel arid moon i’ll still love you
bhagiti 9.4.07 perrysburg, oh
all the notes to myself the to-do’s and to-be’s the unpurchased groceries reminders and crazy ideas have all fallen from a bulletin board in limbo
i tried to put it all back together but all i got was a paper version of me an effigy full of crazy ideas and unpurchased groceries lying legs akimbo
life is a day job full of unheeded to-be’s and listless schemes and then we realize everything falls apart
bhagiti 9.3.07 perrysburg, oh
these stones have fallen from those stars and these stones here have fallen from my ears
last night at dusk the sun whispered to the moon it’s going to happen soon you’ll see
come closer to me like the ocean i have become so obsessed with the pace of the day that i have forgotten who i am
bhagiti 9.2.07 perrysburg, oh
there is a determined hopping fish deep inside me flopping his way to the pool of green great escape in my heart it is where he meets eternity
no one to rain on his plans he speeds to his school of wisdoms in session everywhere inside me and like in that dream i am late for class
there is no here beyond there there is no here beyond there
don’t hold it against me the rivers inside me they are teaming with brine
who knows what futures lie beyond the walls of sleep deep within the hollows and pools inside thousands of fishes try to find their way back home
there is no here beyond there there is no here beyond there
bhagiti 9.1.07 perrysburg, oh
sometimes we all try to explain it i do it too but sometimes it’s unwise to unravel and dabble in the why because the fruit is soft beneath the rind
like they say if you explain it away it’s gone
we have looked out the window upon the giant face who strokes its chin while we’re inside quickly rendering it invisible the diamond in the mine is still a stone
like they say if you explain it away it’s gone
bhagiti 8.31.07 perrysburg, oh
king loui the blank-teenth your reign was short an unlikely snow king a loner from the get-go unaware of your own perfect purity
sometimes timetables times three just don’t make sense to me
you in your sweet pea television set bed plastic versailles with your vices and habits you could be cruel but it wasn’t your fault
sometimes timetables times three just don’t make sense to me
king loui the blank-teenth your reign was short an unlikely snow king but in an instant you taught me how to love a cricket i never knew
sometimes timetables times three just don’t make sense to me
bhagiti 8.30.07 perrysburg, oh
it’s unwise digging up some pharaoh’s tomb are the all wars pestilence and curses worth it for somebody else’s dusty flea market
and who’s curse is it anyway ours or his stuck for millennia with an out of date awkward chair a dead cat and impractical gold headwear
if there’s a lesson from history it’s this the past is dead and if you die with lots of stuff you’re still dead but we still keep moving million-year-old garage sales into better digs
bhagiti 8.28.07 perrysburg, oh
i’m anticipating that day when you can feel that something has changed you can’t put your finger on it but you just know that summer is over and you smell autumn in the air the sky paler the leaves beginning to molder the chill of the morning and the sharpness of night i do not mourn the loss of summer but i celebrate the birth of autumn and its continuously failing resurrection
bhagiti 8.28.07 perrysburg, oh
coming out of nowhere what a place to be why would anybody leave trade you my here for there
nowhere is somewhere got to be
does it work in reverse can the tables be turned is it a key without a door or the other way around
nowhere is somewhere has to be
someone once told me you’re going nowhere but i got lost on the way now i’ve forgotten the directions
nowhere is somewhere has to be
nowhere is somewhere got to be
bhagiti 8.27.07 perrysburg, oh
sleep the great equalizer and mystifier we have not danced well together for such a long time
what have i done to turn you away
take me in your arms and caress me seduce me headlong into your wetless dark waters
to swim with the fishes of dreams
sleep the more you ignore me the further i slip into this waking coma strung up by your puppeteer
who pulls the strings but won’t let me dance
bhagiti 8.26.07 perrysburg
rain splatters the trees out my window coming in small crescendos the hissing rising and falling against the leaves
i want the green glistening forever
in here the lights and speakers hum but i am detached squeezing the life out of this through filters and sieves
i am not losing myself fast enough
there is a tree resembling each one of us hidden in a forest somewhere we seek it stumble upon it or hide from it
if we find it we know how we die
bhagiti 8.25.07 perrysburg, oh
when we were kids it was always tree-fort go-cart for-ends forever and then there was no end
from start to finish to start
and now oceans of endings the seas defending clinging and bending over backwards
from start to finish to start
so we’re for-ends forever strange loops blending endings into openings
from start to finish to start
bhagiti 8.24.07 perrysburg, oh
i have reached the breaking point there is no more i can do they have asked too much
time and time again here i am here i am
i’ll fold myself into an paper moth and toss myself over the edge flutter or fall i’ll be free
time and time again here i am here i am
my shell has cracked i am used up i can no longer sleep worried i say it will change but
time and time again here i am here i am time and time again here i am here i am
bhagiti 8.22.07 perrysburg, oh
too much morning in here not much night both have their quiet loneliness but the morning’s wonder is not the night’s mystery
what is it to be ruled by the moon or the sun life forces the day upon us desire compels the night each a sentence
march into glory retreat into shade the day a battle the night an arcade emerge from one and slip into the other having changed
bhagiti 8.22.07 perrysburg, oh
like the moth knows the flame is warm but deadly and proximity is everything
but the moth was not made for delicacy it flits recklessly unafraid
carelessly we tumble unaware that the wind may dash us on the rocks
our powdery wings obliterated freckle the moss with the only thing that really matters
bhagiti 8.21.07 perrysburg, oh
what are we supposed to do get lost in the fields turn under the wheels spit up apple seeds or weep in the weeds
or disappear into the sky
there’s one thing to be said about dandelion society they lose their heads and the wind just blows them away
and disappear into the sky
the balloon let go over the grocery store is both joy and horror like a ghost
it disappears into the sky
bhagiti 8.20.07 perrysburg, oh
my roof has a leak i am still asleep i think the puzzle is not puzzling and i should know better
the house tries hard to keep the water out yet our bodies work equally hard keeping it in
what is the answer what was the question
i have a friend who says he is a laundry room he washes and he dries and the dirty clothes keep coming
my soul has a leak i am still asleep i think the puzzle is not puzzling and i should know better
what is the answer what was the question
bhagiti 8.19.07 perrysburg, oh
it was the desert before me from a sliding glass door everybody i knew from childhood was there
two tiny black spots writhing in the sky grew and twisted into angels that only i could see then they were gone
i came to show you a song i had made and everyone there was already singing it
i took you to your door to show you the angels you held my hand but they did not reappear
bhagiti 8.18.07 perrysburg, oh
every morning the train and every engineer says hey it’s me i want to be free in his horn long and low or three quick high hits and this one guy today a melisma
born in a faraway place or maybe here without a home looking for the familiar face that means you have meaning
it’s ok we’re all dropped here anyway it’s up to us to find our way out
so mr engineer hit it like this one time for me
bhagiti 8.17.07 perrysburg, oh
i made my way through crowded streets and a million voices i couldn’t understand
it was the mystery and melancholy i had seen in a painting
soon i turned into darkness and a stone archway was lit by candlelight
behind it a flea market and a woman at a table with a single, oddly-shaped container smiled
i knew what was inside but i dared not look she opened it for me and i could not look away
bhagiti 8.16.07 perrysburg, oh
billions of miles away there is a star with your name on it whose light hasn’t reached us yet don’t stop wishing upon it
deep in the sargasso a treasure is hidden protected by eels and waiting to be found
trust is a pearl and a star somewhere there is a box of all the stolen pearls and the light of all the distant stars they are yours
bhagiti 8.15.07 perrysburg, oh
what matters make matters worse four horsemen and madhatters drawing and dancing crazy patterns and speaking in tongues and math
soon august’s withering will be a thing of the past and soon we’ll be shivering and dreaming that the sea is the sky inverted and the stars are fishes
bhagiti 8.14.07 perrysburg, oh
what happens in an instant can last forever what takes hours is easily forgotten a falcon on a lamp pole a haiku on the way to the grocery store
warm morning insects the dawn chorus rouses me i’m out of coffee
bhagiti 8.13.07 perrysburg, oh
i’d walk down the street if there was a street to walk upon but nothing’s the same now that everything we once knew is gone the times they did change but i’m afraid i’m the same and it hurts me to say that i still feel like i’m the only one
would you lie in my bed tell me it’s gone to my head i’ll agree that the things that i see are not even the way they’re supposed to be and i’ll you a secret about nineteen eighty three that when you were gone i knew that something was wrong
oh what i would do to be part of everything if you see that i do then i’ll come back for you and then you will see that our feet could be laughing at the stars and that nothing would ever take us apart that our feet could be laughing at the stars and that nothing would ever take us apart
bhagiti 8.12.07 perrysburg, oh
i keep waiting and waiting but all it leads to is more waiting
i keep writing and writing but all it leads to is more writing
i keep wishing and wishing but all it leads to is more wishing
i keep loving and loving but all it leads to is nothing
i keep sitting and sitting and all it leads to is nothing
i’ll stand out here all night and count to thirteen you can be all you ever want in a dream
bhagiti 8.11.7 perrysburg, oh
sometimes we earn our stars and our stripes sometimes our stripes are black and white or our star has fallen
prisons stand where we build them brick mortar or invisible stars don’t actually fall the world merely turns
day in day out breathe in breathe out
bhagiti 8.10.07 perrysburg, oh
in deference to the hills the sun comes shining for love of the trees swallows on the wing
it is real it is real
like night to the moon your face is glowing for love of the breeze you trust in knowing
it is real it is real
once a white dress meant something but after swimming in the clear green water i have forgotten my name and what everything means
like shipwreck treasure long fused together the old man carved an icon in silver and placed it into my chest and there it began to beat
it is real it is real
bhagiti 8.9.07 perrysburg, oh
today i beat the lowdrone and the temple bell ipushed them down before they could seduce me into twenty more minutes of sleep
today the morning hums and rings even before the sun sings its heliocentric summer humidity and i wonder if i’ll live today like it was my last
so much wasted so much forgotten i know what i gotta do but i can’t seem to get it done
maybe tomorrow i’ll let the lowdrone and temple bell hum and ring and escape into twenty minutes of dreaming and stillness and be alive
what’s wasted is wasted what’s forgotten is forgotten here everything is vivid now never happens again
bhagiti 8.8.07 perrysburg, oh
last night i dreamt my closet was full of unrealistic animal costumes bears rats rabbits squirrels and a porcupine they wore tophats and vests the bear had a watchchain i wore them everyday it was both liberating and terrifying like a mummer on the solstice i wanted it to be true
once again when night falls in my head i’d like to know that i know nothing
bhagiti 8.7.07 perrysburg, oh
i am moving in spirals both twisting upward and fainting in coils
bhagiti 8.6.07 perrysburg, oh
it’s finally raining here again the birds and worms are wriggling the mud is letting go from my head down to my toes the empty cobwebs in my head tell me that philosophy’s dead that bats that were in my belfry have all gone home to bed this one’s not my best one but i’ll do it anyway
i throw these things together fast i don’t know any other way it’s just my way to remind myself to be here everyday
after gulping down my coffee i got an idea for a line i’ll wring it to it’s inevitable sometimes confusing conclusion toss in some stuff from dreams work in mouths flowers and the sea wrack my brain for memories and twist myself into reverie sometimes it’s like giving birth to a pink hippopotamus
i throw these things together fast i don’t know any other way it’s just my way to remind myself to be here everyday
the third verse is the hardest one the rhythm got screwed up i know ain’t got time to make it right didn’t get enough sleep last night it’s at one minute thirty-three and the muse has just abandoned me think of something nice to sing but i can’t seem to think of anything like staring at a wall sometimes seems like nothing’s happening
i throw these things together fast i don’t know any other way it’s just my way to remind myself to be here everyday
bhagiti 8.5.07 perrysburg, oh
i’m sliding down a wire i’m counting on the fire that burns inside keeps me dry
i’m looking for a sign i need a small reminder fools are always kinder if they are loved
i was told there is a lake with a woman underneath anyone who tries to find her is never seen again
i’m tripping up a staircase i’ve fallen flat on my face trying to get back to the top of that wire
bhagiti 8.4.07 perrysburg, oh
season after season my veins are full of blue and my soul is ripe my soul is ripe
there is an elevator to the top of your flower but the sign says don’t bother
where did you go where did you go
remember when you were pregnant with the sea but you had to give her up
where did you go where did you go
there is a cricket in the afterlife whose leggy violin will put us all to sleep
where did you go where did you go
bhagiti 8.3.07 perrysburg, oh
i had a dream last night that i was sleeping in a bed outdoors in the middle of winter
it was snowing and i was surrounded by douglas fir and pines it was freezing cold
but i was warm but i was warm
i wanted to stay there forever in my bed as snow continued to pile high and slowly bury me
but i awoke to august but i awoke to august it’s already hotter than hell it’s already hotter than hell
bhagiti 8.2.07 perrysburg, oh
pour it in pour it out fill it up and dump it out again
full or empty full or empty
worry not of this fear more for the empty heart than the empty life
life is a journal the heart a tasty morsel three vultures told me
bhagiti 8.1.07 perrysburg, oh
what will i do when there are so many i’m already forgetting most all of them
is it better to blend in and be forgotten than to be small and shine for a moment
you can’t pour water into them you can’t sweep the floor with them
i’ll ask myself what’s better a look back a sidelong glance or eyes fixed forward
you can’t pour water into them you can’t sweep the floor with them
bhagiti 7.31.07 perrysburg, oh
silence nursed from cacti and a million grains of sand in a single square inch each with its own eternity each capable of finding its way into a bottle a beach or nowhere at all each locked in its own oblivion secreted from the buzzards the lizards the tumbleweeds the noon hellfire and the frigid moonlight
bhagiti 7.30.07 perrysburg, oh
like a dentist who gives kids lollipops for good behavior we stare into the dark and the light our pupils will adjust to both a dry wilting ripple and an eagle’s echoing shriek trying not to be done in by this garden ripe with the color of sound
bhagiti 7.29.07 perrysburg, oh
we’re living in dangerous times everybody needs a survival kit
pack carefully there isn’t much room
you’ll need:
three cans of irony quick wit spare hearts and a book of unwritten rules
you’ll need a photograph of paavo nurmi a bottle opener and an empty bottle
find some skin thickener a recyclable container and a soft drive with an undo button
you’ll need a redo button
a self-made songbook writer’s cramp travel pillbox and an incurable disease
you’ll need infinite capacity for love and a healthy appreciation of contradictions
bhagiti 7.28.07 perrysburg, oh
the price for wisdom is feeling what’s locked inside you is stealing
what you were meant for a blue heart on a wall another about to fall
make your case to the judge but no judgment’s gonna come
you’re a blank sheet of paper ask yourself this what’s left to find
the bird knows what’s in his beak but not what’s in his breast
bhagiti 7.27.07 perrysburg, oh
who believes in the earth do you believe in the sky i believe in the sea the oceans brimming with fishes swimming
and they are perfect and they are perfect
am i me beyond this sea is it a reflection of me or is it reflected in me we’re all regular people aren’t we
sometimes snowflakes look like stars sometimes starfish dance like stars sometimes people feel like stars sometimes stars aren’t stars
and they are perfect and they are perfect
bhagiti 7.26.07 perrysburg, oh
even if i had to write it five hundred times on a chalkboard it still wouldn’t be enough a midas touch in reverse is hard to get unstuck
sometimes like natalie slumped in her bed the only reason to get up is to show you’re not ready for the blue juice yet
the sun overhead like a lightbulb over a big stupid idea laughs like an overheated man in the moon
the joke is on me the joke is on me
i know what is right but i’m not sure what is left
bhagiti 7.25.07 perrysburg, oh
of all the fish in the trees and birds in the sea don’t pick me
i am a pile of pebbles and each day i try to skip one across to the other side
some bounce two or three times before they sink others not once not one has made it yet
it’s a long way to go it’s a long way to go
of all the fish in the trees and birds in the sea don’t pick me
bhagiti 7.24.07 perrysburg, oh
love and confusion conspire to tear you apart still you are lillies spilling from the mouths of lovers
but at night belladonna you become its poison numbs you its gift no pain so you may fulfill your destiny
the antidote you
7.23.07 perrysburg, oh
how much smaller can you go if you could only have three hundred things what would you keep what would you throw away
what dusty keepsakes living in a shoebox do you take to remind yourself of parties vacations birthdays and funerals long gone
did you take the pictures steal the towels or buy the t-shirt because you wanted to remember or because you knew you’d forget
bhagiti 7.22.07 perrysburg, oh
your ghosts silent brushstroke tombstones behind lilacs and grasses
lo and behold lo and behold
with one silent brushstroke forever ruling matisse obsolete
lo and behold lo and behold
bhagiti 7.21.07 perrysburg, oh
how could you of all people be stuck here alone in toledo i just don’t get it what’s the matter with people
it’s something else isn’t it there’s something i can’t put my finger on what’s the rest of this story
i’ll ask i’ll ask now
did you see me look at your hands there was something i wanted to ask i saw you turn in the mirror
i’ll ask i’ll ask now what do you say
bhagiti 7.20.07 perrysburg, oh
the past is no friend’s couch upon which to sleep bedbugs there hobnob with haints
look back and turn to salt disobey daedalus and get yourself dead
everyday i deal in yesterday i dance the dance of death one foot forward do si do one foot back fall apart
at the end i’ll sing one last eulogy for everything that came before
bhagiti 7.19.07 perrysburg, oh
i’ve been here before and it’s always the same love lets them go and i’m half drowned
do you not see the irony i do
i tuned my strings too high and they’re starting to break my heart it won’t make a sound
but i’ll listen real close you too
a hundred thousand flowers i give you just walk to the top of this hill and look down there they are
they are yours they always were
you always will be the moon to me
you always will be the moon to me
bhagiti 7.18.07 perrysburg, oh
you are a flower undiscovered still unnamed but with a beauty surpassed only by your fragility no color dare contain you
no narcissus bending to the water to sob restrained at her reflection no willow weeping in untold lengths of green tendrils reaching
where do you go from here you don’t know the way you don’t know the way
what the world wouldn’t give to love you to see you wake in the morning to weave silver in your hair smelling of outside
how can you choose between the things you love when you feel unloved when the arrows you’re shooting keep missing the apples of your watery eyes
where do you go from here you don’t know the way you don’t know the way
listen you don’t need to know you just go
bhagiti 7.17.07 perrysburg, oh
the old house wasn’t quite so scary this time john’s father didn’t fall off the ladder but i went off the roof despite being able to fly and was broken badly the grave was a gimmick and so was the gate you were so much younger than i remember and went to your room to play with the cat and the other jennifer and i kissed in the kitchen when i was skipping school until mom broke a blister on my hand before washing the dishes and we all looked at dirty pictures and ate our breakfast
bhagiti 7.16.07 perrysburg, oh
today i am tired i cannot resist i will be pulled along by the rising and setting of the sun i will not put up a fight i give
the sandman has poisoned me i cannot come to my senses i’m not fully awake and i have no control over my urge to dream
i am sleepwalking i am delirious i am some twisted rabbi’s lonely golem
from mud i am made and my curse lasts until the universe calls for rain but it hasn’t rained for weeks; the forcast eternal sunshine
bhagiti 7.15.07 perrysburg, oh
i have been plowed under and rolled over i have stretched for miles but it hasn’t changed a thing under the sun
the sky above still tips the universe and its ever-expanding holdings and still the beetle cringes under the rug
how can you explore the ocean from a balloon how many times have we bet the sun and the moon
the world is everything without us with coal for eyes we see what we are tricked into believing and so live under the gun
how much of it were we ever really prepared to get has anyone here ever dared to cash in that bet
bhagiti 7.14.07 perrysburg, oh
remember that summer when everything was new and how from our seperate rooms we shared a wall our headboards only inches apart yet so far away and once late in the night you tapped three times on the wall and waited and i tapped back and waited and like this we carried on for hours and in the morning over the cereal we stirred aimlessly we smiled silently at our newfound language of love and how every night after we lay awake waiting and it always came then back and forth we tapped everything out and understood without words each other then one night you tapped differently three times then silence i tapped four and there you were and then you were gone
bhagiti 7.13.07 perrysburg, oh
like rolling down a hill into heather or running barefoot through the corn the pebbles just roll off my tongue they plop into the brook so the water rises and slowly covers my feet
how many needles does it take to weigh down the pines how much silver would it take to thread them all why is there a toad at the bottom of every empty well
a myth is nothing mysterious meaningless or ambiguous someone once dreamt she was me sometimes you pay the price for giving things away for free
what would it take for you to kick off your shoes and run what is keeping you from being what you were meant to be when the ripe peaches fall will you be there to catch them
sometimes wishes don’t come true even when we wait we don’t know the reasons why what will you say when they finally find me
bhagiti 7.12.07 perrysburg, oh
how much of this am i willing to let go with every one i lose a little bit more of what i think is me and that’s what i wanted i thought but now i don’t know because what’s still stuffed deep inside is all i have left of a few things i don’t want to lose that i want to myself that i want to be real again but i know they never will
c’mon give it up now sentimentality is your liabilty your achilles heel your unenlightened weakness
what would the buddha say
the robin’s breast full worm eating its way through dirt self dropping away
bhagiti 711.07 perrysburg, oh
remember that drive through the old sleepy south for seventeen hours in the car we dissolved for eons in silence sometimes and other times shouting over the roar of the road and the ruin spinning by the road made shimmering by the endless dripping of the wet orange sun and both of us somewhere between loving and hating each other which didn’t stop us from everything in between and twenty three years later everything pains me just a little bit more and now i think i know what you meant when you said nobody knows what love really is because when you know what it all means that’s the moment when you die and when you said love me now i told you i wasn’t ready to die just yet rachel where are you now i wish i would have tried i dreamt about you last night you were the wallflower dying just like the last time except this time i was the one who couldn’t stop crying
bhagiti 7.10.07 perrysburg, oh
what went wrong just before you plunged into the new mexican desert
did you pray did you think of your wife did you try to pull it up or had you given up outside the island of stability
were you gone in an instant or did you survive long enough to suffer our primal scientific cabal or did you die with your secrets intact
now the kids you never knew are grown and once a year they make the long trip down to look upon the christmas lights and wonder where the hell you had gone
bhagiti 7.9.07 perrysburg, oh
i woke up this morning having just dreamt the perfect song
moments later it was completely gone
not a word not a sound
bhagiti 7.8.07 perrysburg, oh
for every lightning bug there’s a streak of light he’s a freak of night the junebug dreams of a winter that he’ll never ever see the katydid knows what katy did the mantis on my window is not afraid of me but why she prays i don’t know what sins has she
if we could take a deep breath and squeeze our hands tight we’d lift ourselves up and float in the night then like bubbles to the surface we’d rise
truth never forgets it’s always on time it hides under your clothes it has no regrets
bhagiti 7.7.07 perrysburg, oh
once it rained everywhere around me except where i stood it was dry and the sun for a minute warmed me until the rain slowly filled in the hole
once we stood on the beach at the lake with your toe in the sand you drew me a jellyfish and in a minute warned me that i was soon to receive my sting
where did everybody go what does anybody know we don’t build any walls that can’t fall down
once you knew what it was to be happy and now you’ve forgotten it was a lie you believed for a minute warned me then it rained everywhere around you
where did everybody go what does anybody know we don’t build any walls that can’t fall down
bhagiti 5.6.07 perrysburg, oh
i’ve got plates spinnning on sticks in my hands i wonder if i let go will anything change will everything crash down in front of me will it all just float away or disappear completely
bhagiti 7.5.07 perrysburg, oh
once a girl planted me deep in a garden up past my knees i was a bleeding heart but she left me there and i took no roots
eventually i was scattered by birds if i had been a waterlogged spiny cactus i would have made it just fine
is this what i was meant for is this what i was made for
i kiss the gates of possibilities i hug the walls of impatience how much longer do i have to wait how much longer do i have to wait
i have waited long enough i have waited long enough
bhagiti 7.4.07 perrysburg, oh
i took them down to the water’s edge there i let them all go from my hands hidden in tiny walnut shell canoes i waved goodbye for the last time
the first one tipped and sank right away a fish heaved and swallowed another then the sky opened and pelted the third a fusillade of tears battered it under
why did i do it why did i let them go i am a dusty streambed i am a shipwreck
so while it continued to rain i jumped in and there they all were glittering silver with wings and fins living and breathing tiny river nymphs living happy and free
i had to do it i had to let them go i am a dusty streambed i am a shipwreck
bhagiti 7.3.07 toledo, oh
like lapis and pearls strung together in long crimson ribbons words cannot live breathe or die
but like people they are fragile or robust elusive and beautiful some are easily confused
what is this jewel or gaudy bauble sparkling noose or silver arms beneath your shirt
bhagiti 7.2.07 perrysburg, oh
a train whistle splits the morning pushing straight through the middle
i hit the future bluntly no cutting edge to part the way destination unknown
they say it’s the getting there that matters most the arrival is the end
a crow holler splits the morning his beak pushing through the middle
bhagiti 7.1.07 perrysburg, oh
oh god who lives in a cave upstate
please let me write one song just one
as good as david’s
for i am weak and my loss of self is failing
but i want something beautiful to show for it
oh god who lives in a cave upstate
please let me write one song just one
as good as david’s
bhagiti 6.30.07 perrysburg, oh
the other night i saw god he lives upstate in a cave he moved up there from flatbush a few years ago
he was angry beause i was late for a meeting he called up at the cave he was younger than i thought
i didn’t know anybody else they were all diamond cutters dressed in black trying to capture diffused sunlight
bhagiti 6.29.07 perrysburg, oh
let me hide in your mirror stow away in your sad sack tag along in your loose change tucked away in your glad rags
an angel moonapples a humming bird egg you are a mystery at once so close yet so far away
i'll meet both the dawn and the dark head on but you i have to imagine or invent from the ground up
let me hide in your mirror just to see you sometime push me down in your pocket i'll be your good luck charm
bhagiti 6.28.07 perrysburg, oh
something’s not right i have an uneasy feeling like how parakeets can predict earthquakes
maybe it’s nothing i’ll shake it off forget about it until somebody tells me something bad
and i’ll say man i had a feeling this was going to happen
bhagiti 6.27.07 perrysburg, oh
back again slipping through darkness i slept most of the way this time
so did the girl next to me once in the early morning she forgot and put her arm around me
between rochester and erie i didn’t move and secretly pretended we were lovers
she awoke and said i’m sorry i don’t know what came over me i said don’t worry it’s ok
bhagiti 6.26.07 perrysburg, oh
it’s been a while i remember your sandy pines and stone quarry hill your racetrack fairgrounds deep gully ravine
remember me we have unfinished business car wrecks and near misses the first kiss that never was
what did you do to earn your name how low did you go what else can you bury
i miss your mystery and red brick ubiquity you were so close yet so far away i only made it once by bike it was a long ride home
bhagiti 6.25.07 lowville, ny
sunrise here in beaver falls moving over and through the pines
and in an instant i realize it all of it is me or rather i am it
i you we are the fence the trees the moth the hawk the sunrise
we are every stranger and they are us and all of this too
no selves we are everything and you are it
bhagiti 6.24.07 beaver falls, ny
i was a big d major add 9 chord as i rolled over western new york lush green with vineyards plumping fruit fit for spirits and ghosts
clickity clack you can’t go back clickity clack you can’t go back
then writhing trapped in my four-foot duffel bag world racked in agony long on the tracks i had to empty myself of everything
clickity clack you can’t go back clickity clack you can’t go back
bhagiti beaver fallls, ny 6.23.07
home i carry it with me wherever i go
mine is powdered in capsules hidden in a pillbox
they are stowaways and i ride too
i looked only seven left just one this time
i’ll need to save the rest for another time
one for a wedding a few for funerals
once they’re gone i’ll be free to ramble
bhagiti 6.22.07 before boarding a train to upstate ny
they say there’s a lot in the sky an expensive farm that you can buy
a great gig and a kingdom come with a dice tossing, spiteful king
but no train will ever take you there no escalator over the hill
at the top of the world you cast no shadow there is where it stops
the sky is an empty open womb a barren blue deep inverted bowl
we fill it with what we make of it what we put there are hope and lies
bhagiti 6.21.07 perrysburg, oh
there’s only one apple per every two eyes but the fruit is ripe and big on the tree
love is like the air we breathe it in deep and let it go again or ghosts we are
no orchard can contain you you are a carnival
bhagiti 6.20.07 perrysburg, oh
i know the sound of my heart it’s close to my skin when i lost my voice it was the only thing i could see
now i am a river tossing and i am not in love with the modern world i can’t turn my back on beauty
i have legs for the sea i spend most of my nights underwater breathing deep the salty brine and hiding in the weeds
the ground circles the worm the ocean caresses the eel everybody loves you but i think you already know that
to fall out of the sky we’re made the earth’s but good for a grave the sea a naked breast gently moving against my outstretched arm
you know the sound of my heart echoing a hundred times pitched way down low in the current anemones sway in time
bhagiti 6.19.07 perrysburg, oh
please please please help me out a little i’ve tried to do right i don’t kill spiders
please please please i’m a good listener i get along with almost everybody
please please please help me out a little send something good my way
bhagiti 6.18.07 perrysburg, oh
like the morning star a beacon cutting through the dawn
three words are laser pulses
i’m still here
i was a fool to doubt it
bhagiti 6.17.07 perrysburg, oh
this morning all is new again as it was yesterday and will be again
i'll try to be new again but the old me of yesterday won't let go of me
so today he's my traveling companion and he knows i'm gonna ditch him
and we both cry not wanting to lose the other but one of us has to go
bhagiti 6.16.07 perrysburg, oh
i’ll wrap myself up in it this blanket of blue, full moon glow wind it tight around me to keep the stardust like tiny shards of glass from its unbearable but inevitable escape
i want to keep it all inside for as long as possible before i forget and it seeps away i want its cerulean glow to warm me inside and then inside out
i’ll remember what i can
but whatever leaves i’ll let go and watch it drift away until i can’t see anymore
what’s left i will save in a jar drip in my blood add fish fins and flowers to make me another
bhagiti 6.15.07 perrysburg, oh
why is it i misfire this way it would be so much better to rewire it all now but i’d just short-circuit myself
why do i have to feel this way it would be so nice to go back then now but i’d just waste it on love
but that’s the only thing the only thing that’s the only thing that i really need
why is it i feel so far away it would mean everything to be right here now but i’d only pretend
why is it i’m so tired today it would be so nice to get some sleep now but i’d just ruin it dreaming
but that’s the only thing the only thing that’s the only thing that i really need
bhagiti 6.14.07 perrysburg, oh
so here it all is I’m floating in it wrapped in it suspended by it sustained by it closed off from it confused by it in awe of it angered by it in love with it frightened by it denying it forgetful of it at odds with it betting for it and against it wishing for it dreaming about it forgetting about it worried about it fantasizing about it meditating on it opened up to it running away from it accepting of it
bhagiti 6.13.07 perrysburg, oh
before this gets too far out of control we gotta remember we’re all in this together nobody gets out alive
what are we gonna do wait for some horror of our own making or wrap our arms around the texture of life
i spread my arms wide so i’ll catch more there’s room enough for all this and more i’m not done yet
fall into me i’ll catch you and let you go again but it might take me more than just a minute to let go
bhagiti 6.12.07 perrysburg, oh
i’m getting better with silence not the quiet but the lack of words
how many words i’ve regretted i’ve spoiled i’ve misunderstood
silence isn’t golden it’s shiny lucre a tainted trickster acting out its own mute revenge
silence contains all possibilities infinite potential for whatever might break it’s deadly grasp
bhagiti 6.11.07 perrysburg, oh
i believe in beauty i see it everywhere
i believe in beauty i hear it everywhere
i believe in beauty i feel it everywhere
i believe in beauty i believe in beauty i believe in beauty
bhagiti 6.10.07 perrysburg, oh
i feel like i'm flinging armloads of syllables, words and letters over the side of a cliff
i lean over the edge and watch them flutter and drift away like mute little hawks or paper moths
is anyone below, caught in this downpour of admissions secrets and confessions
are they collecting these as they fall piecing them together out of order, making up some different story
or is it all in vain and me the fool tossing it into the wind only to have it all blown back in my face
bhagiti 7.9.07 perrysburg, oh
i’m trying to stitch this all together from fragments cast offs and remnants
i’ll thread a pine needle with silver strands spun from hope and good intentions
i’ll make a blanket big enough to cover us both and wait alone underneath
i’ll sew stars on the inside so i can navigate through these strange passageways
bhagiti 6.8.07 perrysburg, oh
i was up late last night and went out to look up at the stars
and when i did i was small but not in a bad way just part of it all
better yet i knew the stars above me there arched also over you
touching you is as easy as reaching my hand way up into libra
to tip the scales
bhagiti 6.7.07 perrysburg, oh
my arm once retained the shape of holding someone it wouldn’t go back even though i tried to bend it past its will out of shape out of sorts out of desperation
when i woke up today i saw it was gone i couldn’t feel a thing and i wanted it to come back and though i tried it was too late and tears played and tears played all around my face
put me up on poles to help me stand i‘ll scare birds away from the garden tied up with regrets and rubber bands
my stuffing’s coming out who will fill me up again
last night i dreamt i watched pumpkins swell and cabbages rise there was nothing i could do and crows realized my silhouette was a lie and they ate their fill long into the night
bhagiti 6.6.07 perrysburg, oh
i'll get through whatever i have to do on feet, hands or knees
as before from my mouth flowers and seawater spilling out
my petals i'll drop like pins onto trumpet skins
what sound resounds what numbness whispers
i'll get through whatever i have ot do on feet, hands or knees i'll get through
bhagiti 6.5.07 perrysburgh, oh (back yard)
riding free the sea beside was crashing on the shore somewhere below
to my surprise from the waves i saw it there it lay gasping in the brine
i moved close by and in its eyes i saw myself and started to cry
in my arms we did glide out toward the deep but i slipped beneath the tide
it was you i did feel wrapped around me i had no need to breathe
we moved as one beneath the waves and it was love that we played
bhagiti 6.4.07 perrysburg, oh
this is the one that is my favorite color
it rises up slowly like a flood
and evaporates leaving behind
a sticky film that i can’t wash
from my arms that i can’t hide
from myself that i’ll wear
like an invisible armor to sheild myself from nothing
but under these floorboards creaking the basement mildly
crashes
bhagiti 6.3.07 perrysburg, oh
its a conspiracy they’ve pulled us all apart
they’ve cut our cords now we’re wireless strung out disconnected
everbody’s talking to something but no one’s really there
don’t say a word just touch me
no
don’t say a word just touch me
touch me
bhagiti 6.2.07 perrysburg, oh
there’s a woodpecker on the porch chippin’ away at suet a red-capped hammer nailing himself into oblivion
i’ve been stuck in tubes radio-fried, day-glo pictured summarized i have been observed senseless
if home is where the heart is then i think i’m gonna need to leave the flames are lickin’ high and this kitchen sink ain’t enough to do the job
the lights on the dashboard have ceased to function properly i’m steering blind, in a bind, afraid i’ll fly straight off the edge of obscurity
but it’s alright ma, i’m not bob dylan
nor is he and why should i sympathize, sythesize, plagiarize, gouge out my eyes rationalize, organize, or even criticize
so on with cliche, if it sounds good once do it again ‘cause this song’s a lie it’s a compromise ‘cause i can’t think of nothin’ else to say
let’s just say i am preoccupied
bhagiti 6.1.07 perrysburg, oh
i awoke and for one dreadful eternity misplaced in a moment i thought it never happened
but as the morning with its curling fingers reached through the blinds to caress my toes i knew
i knew remembering the warm softness of the sun in your mouth its glistening touching mine
i knew the silences between and yet to come would till deep into my heart but there in the damp flowers could hide
bhagiti 5.31.07 toledo, oh
this is the song i’m writing to avoid the other one i would if i could but i’d only ruin it
here i’ll sing of elsewhere or something about a horse yadada yadada blah blah blah
dreams, delusions, reveries reality hammers them all and cheap imitations don’t come for free
i’d rather dance on the edge of this blue, twisted steel than dream up a world that negates your touch
bhagiti 5.30.07 toledo, oh
today’s the day to remember and i do i do all i do is remember all the things that i can’t forget
i sing to sweet memory a purse that’s locked up deep inside my heart holding all the things that i can’t forget
but memory’s a fragile mistress weak, seduced by influence and off she goes with all the things that i can’t forget
so i’ll be left here by myself with nothing but my white flag pleading ignorance to all the things that i’ll never forget
but memory’s a fragile mistress weak, seduced by influence and off she goes with all the things that i can’t forget
bhagiti 5.29.07 perrysburg, oh
i had a dream the other night that i fell from an aeroplane
i musta fell five hundred thousand miles but i kept thinking all the while what if it was you and not me
i’d be below you with my arms stretched wide i promise that i wouldn’t miss ya if i tried i bet i could even do it if i closed my eyes how happy we we’d be when we’d collide
but in this dream it didn’t go that way i kept fallin’ from that aeroplane
i musta fell five hundred thousand miles but i kept thinking all the while will there be anyone to catch me
i saw you down there with your arms stretched wide i promise that i couldn’t miss ya if i tried i knew at the very moment that i closed my eyes how happy we’d be when we’d collide
bhagiti 5.28.07 perrysburg, oh
no wax to hold these covered in honey hardly off the ground and already falling eventually i’ll reach the sea
bhagiti 5.27.07 perrysburg, oh
if you want to know where you’ve been look at the soles of your feet every road and exit the roads less taken and not etched in dirt and thorns mapped in wishes suspicions, surprises and dreary sunrises walk with me won’t you please won’t you please walk with me if you want to know where you’re going let ravens be your guide go as the crow flies throw stones and spit the distance see how many more before you get back home before you’re alone walk with me won’t you please won’t you please walk with me bhagiti 5.26.07 toledo, oh
i said i feel like i should put this all in a jar and bury it in the backyard but i would only roll in the flowers that grew up in the spot
tuesday those flowers spilled from my mouth washed out lillies falling to the ground and from them golden bees circled and buzzed
i told you everything and before we could stop it was too late and wings of your own lifted you away and i wanted to come but mine wouldn’t budge covered as they were in honey
there’s no making any sense of this
bhagiti 5.25.2007 perrybsurg, oh
i have a friend he’s a poet mysh how do you do it how do you make the words come when there are none
what do you do when words aren’t enough when they’re shit when what’s bursting out of you is indescribable how do you do it
are we the great poem, painting or song is the pain and desire that rules both sickness and love what we’d scream if we only had the words
so this song is a lie ‘cause what i really want to say is impossible with the words that i know and the only other way is out of the question
so mysh how do you do it how do you make the words come when there are none
bhagiti 5.24.07 perrysburg, oh
sometimes it's really hard like this floating alone naked in a semi elliptical orbit
i am jetsam driftwood detritus the price nine parts pain one part bliss makes it all worthwhile
anywhere my heart rests amounts to nothing but distress and deliciousness
anytime my insides ache with your name i die and live again
i'll be left out here forever it's a price i'm willing to pay all i ask is please don't forget
bhagiti 5.23.07 toledo, oh
i’m here didn’t you see me i raised my hand i had the right answer but it was the wrong question
this is a dream this is not a dream this is a dream this is not a dream and now like a bosch painting in tempera a penance for no sin and flowers pour from my mouth
this is a dream this is not a dream this is a dream this is not a dream just then a small miracle a butterfly neon paper-winged jewel and suddenly it’s all clear
this is a dream this is not a dream this is a dream this is not a dream bhagiti 5.22.07 toledo, oh
take me back to the beginning i want to start all over again i don’t want to end up a clamshell stripped of it’s muscle cracked open on the shore hey hey now don’t you frown
isn’t there some slight of hand some sort of deceit where you close your fingers over the egg and open them up again this time revealing nothing hey hey now don’t you frown
i’ll give in to whatever works whatever offers me the best odds i don’t want to end up a hamster stripped of his dignity alsleep at his go nowhere wheel hey hey now don’t you frown
isn’t there some violet tincture some sort of undo elixer made from honey or jelly and coconut leaves i’d take it no questions placebo or poison i’ve nothing left to lose hey hey now don’t you frown
bhagiti 5.21.07 perrysburg, oh
i’ve lived and died on other people’s words two syllable angels and in two more nothing
what is this all about who is this all for
the pregnant pause a silvery bauble strung with silent vowels it lights up your neck
what is this all about who is this all for
i’m equally to blame i can’t shut up the words come and come but i get them all wrong
what is this all about who is this all for
i’ll be tongue-tied wrapped up and restrained held back mute and mum a string of empty words hands tied
what is this all about who is this all for
bhagiti 5.20.07 perrysburg, oh
ok what now this didn’t come with a book 30 days gone and the dials have all changed
do your worst do your best it’s the getting there this is a test
i’ll rattle pots and pans scare up some options turn the big dial and tune in the prizes
do your worst do your best it’s the getting there this is a test
i think i’ll step on this moving sidewalk it’s a long way to infinity
do your worst do your best it’s the getting there this is a test
bhagiti 5.19.07 perrysburg, oh
like the new moon in the old moon’s arms only when lit by venus do we know that it’s there
these old moon arms are like mine they’re tired but glowing charged with knowing
that though invisible there’s beauty in the mysteries of the unseen
i will continue to warble from the balcony located just below this strange planetarium
bhagiti 5.18.07 perrysburg, oh
in my heart there’s both a willow and a well
under one i dream into the other i toss coins
gambling on the promise of dreams
i once thought the heart is both an asylum and a morgue
i was wrong i take that back it’s not like that at all
it’s a wilderness and there we sit under a tree
eating honey worth the sting
sometimes the heart’s not such a bad place to dwell
as long as you leave open a safe means of escape
and gamble on the promise of dreams
bhagiti 5.17.07 bowling green, oh
note: i recorded two versions of this and accidentally uploaded the "unwanted" take first (below). this is the version i wanted but since i can't figure out how to delete the first post you all get the added fun of the "alternate take". pick yer fave!
isn’t it funny how water we are mostly yet still we thirst
when skies open up or our eyes it’s 35 parts salt
let’s float atop this sargasso buoyed by eels and grasses
we don’t need to talk or do nothing but just float here and laugh
here we can’t sink this water like a blanket it is warm
bhagiti 5.16.07 toledo, oh
isn’t it funny how water we are mostly yet still we thirst
when skies open up or our eyes it’s 35 parts salt
let’s float atop this sargasso buoyed by eels and grasses
we don’t need to talk or do nothing but just float here and laugh
here we can’t sink this water like a blanket it is warm
bhagiti 5.16.07 toledo, oh
to give up our heart we make an illogical pact it’s an agreement that is neither understood nor implied
light passes through our skin it’s both wave and particle yet desire’s trapped inside slave to apprehension
the underwater escape artist cannot comprehend what it means to be trapped without lock and key
here’s a riddle for you what happens after someone leaps into the air and doesn’t come down
enlightenment is nothing more than the realization of something you already knew
bhagiti 5.15.07 toledo, oh
there’s a pain in my side i try not to think about it nothing to worry about it’s just a small hole
but sometimes i’m afraid that i’m losing something that it will leak out and i’ll end up hollow
visions come quickly they flash across my skies do i dare look directly or turn away
how many songs in a year would it take to convince you how many would it take before you fell in deep
what else can i do before i spill out on the ground would you with one finger plug the hole
and even if you would but just couldn’t please tell me anyway a ruby for your pearl
bhagiti 5.14.07 perrysburg, oh
sunday sunday sunday what's the big deal about sunday just another day next to monday
last night had me some big ideas big plans i was inspired but now it's all gone sucked away by the black hole of sunday
for some sunday's the sabbath but for me it's the day the demons ghosts and phantoms stop over for a little fun they get me all screwed up inside so i can't sleep that night
next thing you know (and this is the killer) next thing you know it's monday
sunday sunday sunday what's the big deal about sunday just another day just another day that comes before monday
bhagiti 5.13.07 perrysburg, oh
i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait
seems like when you try too hard nothing you ever want ever happens and there's something i really want so i'll wait i’ll wait i'll wait here
i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait
seems like when you try too hard nothing you ever want really happens and there's something i really want so i'll wait i’ll wait i'll wait here
bhagiti 5.12.07 perrysburg, oh
the other day i could feel that the moon and stars were flashing deep in my belly my universe surged
that’s what i’ll do then make my rocket ship pill and swallow it whole travel my belly in darkness absentia
that’s what i’ll do to get out of it that’s what i’ll do to get out of it that’s what i’ll do to get out of it that’s what i’ll do to get out of it
stars were flashing deep in blankness absentia
that’s what i’ll that’s what i’ll do then make my rocket ship pill and swallow it whole
bhagiti 5.11.07 toledo, oh
is the living soul the means or the end what is living what is the soul
why can't i lose me why can't i let go of it
ill stop asking so many questions
bhagiti 5.10.07 perrysburg, oh
they say lightning can strike twice in the same place i know this is true
when i was a kid back on the farm two horses on their backs their legs in the air
the first got hit once the other moved close i'll worship the future from the side of the road
bhagiti 5.9.07 perrysburg, oh
there's a way things happen when everything's at rest insects making worm food worms are making bird food
once i wanted to tell you how once i saw something something terrible unbelievable
it shook me up it ripped me apart i couldn't tell you besides you wouldn't believe me
there's a way things happen when we're not at our best there's a bird at my window and a spider in my cereal
once i wanted to show you how once i did something something wonderful unbelievable
it shook me up it ripped me apart i couldn't tell you besides you wouldn't believe me
bhagiti 5.8.07 perrysburg, oh
did the golden glow linger was the secret worth the time did you get what you came for have you had enough already
take whatever you want there will always be more because what you want is easy and meaningless
there’s something more you missed it all along directly in front of you hidden in plain sight
look and see for yourself a shivering nude reveals a gift free for the taking the key swallowed in vain
no velvet-lined purse crushed purple or otherwise can contain this simple truth that you really aren’t alive
bhagiti 5.7.07 perrysburg, oh
when i lived in milwaukee the pines they called my name lake michigan everywhere i was flotsam on its shore
in a huge tunnel i went in a small bungalo i stayed i met violent femmes but frank lloyd wasn’t there
i was in a hard kind of love elusive and strange i didn’t get it all at lake geneva
i wonder where you are you gave me away but cried i still have that scar on my arm my heart’s at the door
when i lived in milwaukee the pines they knew my name lake michigan everywhere and i missed new york
bhagiti 5.6.07 perrysburg, oh
it's time to take out the trash i won't fill it up again the truck comes and takes it all yet i still feel the same
garbage in, garbage out that's what they always say
goodbye toy robots, it's been real see ya later tv, no regrets ok adios old clothes, now you take care so long crow, i hardly knew ya
it's time to take out the trash i won't fill it up again the truck comes and takes it all yet i still feel the same
garbage in, garbage out that's what they always say
bhagiti 5.5.07 perrysburg, oh
i’ll stand in the rain with my arms stretched wide i drink in the sky this time each year it’s always the same
i remember one time when I was a kid the day i turned five in the driveway sand i knew i was alive
if this time next year if i make it through i’ll sing this again might add something new
it’s time to squeeze hard time to kiss the moon i’ll give this to you again next year it’s always the same
bhagiti 5.4.07 toledo, oh
i want to be redrawn turn me over shake me up my heart and liver powdery silver stretch me out of shape pull me hard twist me up deep in my belly some kind of jelly
i’ll be your toy i’ll be your toy i’ll be your toy
i want to rock ‘em and sock ‘em push my buttons faint and jab my spinal column a flimsy ratchet
i want to be easy baked pour me in take me out my chest cavity toothpick comes clean
i’ll be your toy i’ll be your toy i’ll be your toy
bhagiti 5.3.07 toledo, oh
a prospector my pan in your stream sifting through your silt swishing, constantly swirling
you're cold my hands are like ice sifting through your silt swishing, constantly swirling
with patience i'll gamble this vein sifting through your silt swishing, constantly swirling
don't lose heart i'll never give up sifting through your silt swishing, constantly swirling
bhagiti 5.2.07 toledo, oh
why are you following me i am lost i don’t know where I’m going or what to say i’ll be led by the blind to help me see and touch my hands to your face and read your lips everything you couldn’t tell me touch alone what secrets would i learn just enough i don’t know where i’m going but i’m gone lost with my faulty compass and one task i’ll chart these hills and valleys and keep the map so i can find my way back again and again bhagiti 5.1.07 toledo, oh
i want a voodoo robot buddha it will help me get things done i need mojo i need karma i need help with my math
i’ll build a voodoo robot buddha from stuff i’ve thrown away got some chicken lips radio parts and some real old bamboo
i’ll love my vooddo robot buddha it will help me be complete goodbye ego goodbye desire hello good, good vibrations
i need my voodoo robot buddha it’s the only thing i’ve got i’m pseudo hip superstitious i can do my own taxes
i’ll wreck my voodoo robot buddha it has unhinged my life i need real love emotion and feelings screw your pincushion, sensei circuits
bhagiti 4.30.07 perrysburg, oh
how does it feel to be traveling i don't know i've never been my movement seems different i'm not from around here you see
you say toledo, i say to-lay-do
why did you dig that hole there i don't know it's always been it somehow seems different it leads away from here look, see
you say toledo, i say to-lay-do
why did you think you could stay here i don't know where i've been my body seems different i'm not from around here you'll see
you say toledo, i say to-lay-do you say toledo, i say to-lay-do
bhagiti 4.29.07 perrysburg, oh
you know how it is the difference between dreams and reality
i want you to know how sometimes i have trouble with reality
and always in my dreams i live beautiful lifetimes finding hen’s teeth in violet haystacks
did you know that when you dream you love somebody they are having the same dream about you
but we’re always too afraid to tell each other that’s why i’ll never tell you the one about you
bhagiti 4.28.07 perrysburg, oh
why are you so angry? didn’t you like your peanut? don’t you know how much i love you? why did you run away?
why are you so far away? do you think i’d hurt you? don’t you know how much i love you? why did you run away?
where are you always hiding? i try so hard to find you don’t you know how much i love you? why did you run away?
why are you so jumpy? where do you go at night? don’t you know how much i love you? why did you run away?
i promise i’ll never hurt you i’d keep you warm and dry don’t you know how much i love you? please don’t run away
bhagiti 4.27.07 perrysburg, oh
i wish i was as free as that nutjob on the dance, dance revolution
he doesn’t care works up a sweat and laughs to himself out loud
he’s in his own world they know him there they are beautiful pixels
had a dream one time that i was naked and i could breathe underwater
i wish i was as free as that nutjob on the dance, dance revolution
bhagiti 4.26.07 toledo, oh
what happened did you feel that or was i somewhere else far away
did you know how much i wanted to brush your arm and see if you were real
i showed you something maybe i shouldn't have now you know
what have i done and if you aren't really there i don't think i want to know at least i'll have this
what happened did you feel that or was i somewhere else far away
bhagiti 4.25.07 perrysburg, oh
last night i thought i saw a ghost flickering at the end of my bed something wasn’t right last night i thought i saw you floating over the lawn but it wasn’t really my room and it wasn’t my backyard
last night i heard something scratching it was crawling through my walls something wasn’t right last night i thought i heard you howl at the moon but they weren’t really my walls and it wasn’t my moon
and you weren’t really there and you weren’t really there and you weren’t really there and you weren’t really there
bhagiti 4.24.07 toledo, oh
there’s a hole i’d rather crawl into than face, deal or consume i’ll eat myself up sustained on my own failing
there’s an energy that has no source it’s powerless yet fuels spasms and fears it dampens my sheets
no mirrors for me, nothing to see that i don’t already know leave me alone this is not for you, it’s mine
all mine all mine all mine this is not for you, it’s mine all mine all mine all mine
bhagiti 4.23.07 perrysburg, oh
when we were kids, my brother and i clothespin card motorcycle ride up and down the street again each time losing a little bit more
ride ride ride a little bit more every time ride ride ride a little bit more every time
pushin' harder now, my brother and i credit card mortgage just to stay alive back and forth to work again each time losing a little bit more
ride ride ride a little bit more every time ride ride ride a little bit more every time
bhagiti 4.22.07 perrysburg, oh
the sun shudders, prometheus groans solar flare plucking base loop magnetic vibration a song driving worlds unseen do they dance?
it's like that here 'cause no one atones some ugly duckling stuck in a sticky situation longing, needing to come clean deep in a trance
as lost as we are still in our own homes bullets we're ducking as if shot from our own gun and stripped naked we're seen a sidelong glance
old gods under gilded concrete domes accounting for nothing but someone's dull vacation rigid, artificial and mean do they dance?
bhagiti 4.21.07 perrysburg, oh
here it is the eve of the end of all my dreaming and onward to inevitable purple bathers lingering
the other day three vultures up in the tree behind my house i said hey no, not yet boys i don’t need you at this breast
uncommon virtues like viruses like phantoms hang on lingering blue corpuscles tingling my leg that can’t stop jingling
i let go of this soft machine what I gain I cannot feel as promises of tongues tastes intermingling and otherwise former dreaming
bhagiti 4.20.07 – toledo, ohio