DMCB: Recent Episodes
Gabriele Gvozdaite
Dreams money can’t buy. We’re here to discuss relevant issues & topics that we all face on a day to day basis that push us further away from our dreams and ideal versions of ourselves. A place to talk, discuss and figure out but most importantly share - share our life experiences, our wisdom, our advice and our stories.
Welcome back to season 2 of Dreams Money Can't Buy - the comeback season.
This first episode explores how difficult it is to follow your dreams, I started this podcast with somewhat of a naive outlook where following your dreams just seemed like the easiest thing to do but with time life teaches you some lessons.
This year I have learnt how difficult it is to follow your dreams, to commit to those things and no matter the circumstances keep that dream. To follow your dreams it's more than just doing what you love, it's about being courages in the face of failure, rejection, it's about being patient in times where nothing is actively or physically changing, it's about faith keeping and seeing that vision that dream even when you can’t see it, its about making that dream a priority and being able to show up even when motivation and inspiration is lacking. At the start of the year I would have thought following your dreams should be the easiest thing you can do for yourself because its your dream but that’s what makes it the most difficult and I am learning that my dream is a part of me it speaks to who I am as a person and I can’t fail at being myself its not possible.
I have learnt the consequences of not following your dreams but also the challenges that come with following your dreams and the questions I had to ask myself: Am I okay not to see this dream through? Have I done all I can to make this dream come through? Am I comfortable with the results and the outcome, is this the best that I can do, did I leave no stone unturned? You usually find that you are more than capable of rising again and rising above all doubt, disbelief and fear once you get uncomfortable with being comfortable.
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This episodes serves as a reflection opportunity for me.. I simply share some of my thoughts and emotions and also lessons that I am currently learning and some of the key questions I am currently asking myself on my journey the main ones I explore in this episode is - what do I gain from anticipating the worst? and what am I teaching myself from anticipating the worst?
I explore where this thinking process comes from and what it is linked to - discovering that I taught myself from a very young age to 'expect the worst' and have now since carried it into my adulthood - I challenge this thinking process by first understanding why I find comfort is anticipating the worst and the simple and short answer is to avoid the daunting feelings of disappointment or betrayal or the feelings of being blindsided. Although all natural and normal feelings, anticipating the worst only encourages me to live life in fear which steers me further away from faith and it only encourages me to see the worst not only in myself but in other people and opportunities. While we will and have faced disappointment, betrayal, loss or whatever else it may be - we shouldn't let that become a familiar feeling - or be the defining part of our identities, there is a better story that you should be and can be telling about yourself and while sometimes life can be overwhelming with all the grief, pain and hurt or disappointment don't get so used to that feeling that you can't see your very own blessings in front of you, don't get so comfortable in those feelings that it does become the defining part of your identity.
We all deserve to feel excited about ourselves and our lives, we all deserve to be celebrated regardless of the outcome, regardless of the results, from a young age we are taught to only celebrate ourselves once we achieve something - but what happens when you go through a season in your life where things are simply being planted and a season of stillness? You still deserve to be celebrated and our worth and value isn't rooted in the results we get. I am learning to always take a moment and just congratulate and celebrate myself and to also acknowledge all the growth that is happening behind the scenes - and I am so grateful to have people around me who help me see the best in myself especially on the days where it is more difficult.
I think failure and success both have a lot to teach us, but when we do fail and we tried that’s not an invitation to stop trying, failure is an invitation to try again but this time a different way, a new approach, a new mindset, a different outlook, failure can redirect us and you just have to believe in yourself and have confidence in your dreams regardless of the outcome, don’t fixate on results you’ll be misled into believing that either you're not good enough or you’ll get comfortable in believing you’ve achieved all you can, the journey and growth doesn’t stop at failure but it shouldn’t also stop at success. I think sometimes it is easy to limit your growth by focusing on results, we all want certain outcomes and we all want results that reflect our efforts, but if you only value the results you’ll only ever go as far as those results let you.
I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for even trying, its nice to see results, its nice to see the work put in becoming something tangible and something to show for but sometimes the results of your efforts will just be growth, strength, something less tangible and its just reminding yourself that winning and success doesn’t always mean having something physical to show for, growing alone in mentality and character is enough.
The greatest asset you can have is who you are, when you meet people, when you face challenges, when life hits you with countless obstacles you can have all the resources in the world but if you don’t know who you are those things become meaningless and useless, that’s not to say you shouldn’t have money, you shouldn’t have assets and all these other resources but gaining all those things and not knowing who you are or losing yourself in the process you’ll always feel like something is missing, gaining material goods won’t make up for the internal voids or for the things you lack in character. Don’t limit or define your growth or who you are by the things you have or alternatively by the things you don’t have, you are more than that, situations, jobs, money, opportunities always change and they are not a solid foundation to establish your identity on.
My value, your value isn’t defined by someone else or how someone else treats you, or whether you succeed or fail. Don’t let external things define you internally, and if you are faced with a moment of failure don’t use that as an excuse to tear yourself down, or to point out every mistake and flaw you see in yourself, we all have things we can and need to work on but justifying failure with because you’re not good enough will only discourage you from trying again, you thought you were good enough to begin with so don’t revert back to thinking you’re not good enough just simply because you failed at something or more precisely you didn't get the results you anticipated.
Instagram: G_bbie
Email: gabrielegvozdaite@dmcb.uk
We all go through moments where the world just feels a little bit more heavy than it usually would, and I’m sure there will be so many more of those moments, and I think its about learning how to accept who you are and how you feel in those moments, I think you begin to embrace who you are and your story once you allow it to be expressed, and like I said there’s no quick fix or short cut or formula to healing, you ask 5 people how they got through failure, heart break, disappointment, betrayal, loss they’ll probably all give you 5 different answers my point is that you just have to take some time to understand what it is that you need and be patient in giving yourself those things, out of pain can come purpose and through breakdowns we can breakthrough, things sometimes fall apart not to break you but to give you an opportunity to build something new, and in everything you go through again don’t invalidate how you feel acknowledge and address how you feel and then remind yourself that you can and you will overcome it.
When we invalidate our own feelings or make them not as important - it plays a role in dimming your own light when you tell yourself your feelings are not validated, or that you’re just being dramatic for feeling however you feel, make room for yourself in your life, make room for your feelings, your thoughts, your ideas, your dreams, make room for who you are, its not always about who you could be, who you could become, don’t neglect the present by chasing your future both are just as important but only one is real right now so be proud of who you are and how far you’ve already come, you don’t have to be perfect to be celebrated.
This episode serves as a reminder rather than an episode filled with solutions or answers, remind yourself today that you can and you will overcome whatever it is that you are going through, yes I’m struggling right now but every time I have fallen I have rose again and found a way, yes I feel weak but I have already overcome so much and come so far, yes I feel hurt but I found healing and peace in God, he has never forsaken me or left me alone what God started in my life he will finish, yes I feel broken but my God restores me. I know its definitely difficult especially when you feel like you’re constantly having to pick yourself up, when you feel like everything around you is falling apart its definitely not easy but we get through it and you don’t have to go through the things by yourself either, remember that life didn’t always feel like this and just know that this is a season and its not about finding your way back that would be trying to live in the past, I think its more about establishing a connection with who you are now and understanding what it is you need from yourself.
Email: gabrielegvozdaite@dmcb.uk
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As a creator myself when I first started my podcast one of my key worries was ‘what if no one listens’ and I guess that in a way translates to what if no one supports me, but one thing I have recently learnt is that you don’t need an audience. I came to this realisation when I was at church and I had this light bulb moment and what I learnt and understood in that moment was that Jesus had a purpose and an important message to deliver but he never once worried about who was listening to him or who believed in him, he was more focused on his purpose and his actual message than worrying about who was listening to him and just understanding that it was almost like a wake up call for me, I think at one point I became so focused on the numbers, on the listeners on the audience more than my message and purpose and its easy to get caught up in all of that, the audience became more important than the purpose and I think when you get to that place it can become so easy to compromise your purpose or message because you become more interested in satisfying your audience and the priority becomes generating those numbers and with that intentions can become blurred because it becomes a question of whether you truly believe in the content your putting out and can truly stand by it or if its just to simply please those listening and I think that’s where a lot of people sometimes find themselves getting lost and their purpose becomes compromised for an audience.
Integrity is so important especially when you're pursuing your dreams and I guess one of the key questions I had to ask myself is what am I willing to compromise to see results? I feel like a lot of us are perhaps naive to that question and would respond with I wouldn’t compromise anything but its not as black and white as it seems, I feel like when your audience is your motivation you can compromise absolutely anything because what becomes more important is meeting their needs rather than fulfilling your purpose.
Instant gratification, instant results, the validation of seeing those numbers rising, the satisfaction of knowing that im physically seeing results is not worth compromising something that I believe in, and that’s what matters nobody has to believe in your dreams and goals but you, you’re accountable for the decisions you make and you can go ahead and please the world but you will lose yourself in it, it doesn’t matter who’s listening, who’s following, who’s supporting you, who believes in you as long as you believe in your message and the purpose of your work things will naturally fall into place, you will never reach your purpose constantly trying to prove something to the next person, go back to that place where it was just you and your dream, back to that place where you found passion in your purpose, back to that place with no distractions, none of this extra stuff that we are constantly chasing and trying to attain, strip your goals and dreams back to its basics and remember the exact moment where you found your why, where you found that thing that makes you feel alive, fulfilled, complete and ignites passion in your life and hold onto that. I promise you, you don’t need an audience to be great, your purpose is not dependent on people, it depends on you but whatever you chose to do just remember you have to answer for the decisions you make not the next person
Discomfort is now but greatness is forever.
Gabriele Gvozdaite - DMCB
Instagram: g_bbie
Email: gabrielegvozdaite@dmcb.uk
We live in a world that is extremely fast paced and we’re constantly moving and changing and developing and as you get older you have more responsibilities and it can just seem like a lot and our fast paced environments can often influence our expectations of ourselves.
We often feel this sense of urgency to ‘make it’ - whatever making it means, this sense of urgency to express your greatness, to create this success for yourself and this urgency to just become and create something greater than you.
Urgency is great and it carries its own perks and can definitely be beneficial, but there is a lot of power in simply slowing down, I say simply but it can genuinely be one of the hardest things to do, to just slow down, reflect, focus and re-align and to just take it in and celebrate.
Slowing down is difficult because we often feel this weird pressure to succeed, and the urgency that a lot of us have is fuelled by comparing ourselves to others, feeling inadequate in our own lives so just simply not feeling like we are currently enough as who we are and with what we have, or I guess this fear that our dreams have an expiration date so this mindset of if I don’t make it now, ill never make it. I think we all need to take a moment and reflect what this urgency is fuelled by, is this urgency based on fear or is it based on something more productive?
Slowing down is so important it gives you a chance to enjoy clarity and a chance to re-align and a chance to go further. It’s like when people say life isn’t a race it’s a marathon, and in that marathon you don’t want to gas out by going too quickly and at a pace that becomes counterproductive. We have to let go of this narrative that more success, is better success, more achievements is better achievements, more doesn’t mean better, quantity has no relevance to quality, and instead of seeking to be more we have the chance to optimise and improve who we currently are and what we currently have, but when you’re rushing to create the next big thing you miss that opportunity because your mind isn’t focusing on what’s here in front of you right now but its focused on what’s to come. Slowing down gives you the opportunity to orientate yourself towards what is truly important and what actually matters, it allows you to regain control because you’re no longer working based on time but instead based on intentions, it allows you to glance at the bigger picture rather than having this set tunnel vision.
Our goals and dreams shouldn’t feel like a punishment and it shouldn’t be a reminder of everything that you are not but instead we should use those goals and dreams to uplift ourselves and remind ourselves that we are capable and worthy of greatness. Give yourself to breathe and re-align.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."
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Stress is a universal emotion that can affect many of us and it can prevent us from living positive and productive lives so in today's episode I just wanted to share some things that have helped me in my response to stress but before I got all into that I also just wanted to begin this episode by being as transparent and honest as possible and explaining why my consistency has been wavering.
I've recently learnt that accountability shouldn’t be a form of punishment it should be a form of acceptance, in which I'm learning to accept whoever I am presently and in that same instance know that I can be better and I have room for growth and I would also say that I’ve learnt the only way you can hold yourself accountable is by first being honest with yourself and you can’t do that when you’re living in a facade or pretending, accountability is no longer about me messing up or falling short and in response condemning myself for it but instead being accepting of my true and real self and recognising there's room for growth.
I have also learnt that within any industry you work in your dreams and goals can get clouded by people's expectations and recommendations even if these expectations and recommendations are positive, be very mindful to take on other people’s recommendations and make sure that whatever you do decide to do, you have a true desire for it rather than a response to expectations surrounding you, don't alter your goals to fit expectations of other and with everything you do, the only person you have to worry about disappointing is yourself, and even then never worry about disappointing yourself or letting yourself down because you always have the opportunity to rise above every situation and you can never truly disappoint yourself unless you give up, because you're still in the fight, you're still in race you're still trying to do better and how can that possibly be a disappointment.
In terms of stress:
1) Understand why you're stressed and get to the root of the emotion.
2) Focus on the present and respond to the present. We let our pasts impact our futures even when we have the opportunity to rewrite it in our present
3) Remember your why and be accepting of the fact that this can change or develop. Be committed to your purpose
4) Finding Gratitude. No good thing is too insignificant to not be recognised or celebrated. The world around you is not a reflection of who you are so there’s no reason why in dark times you don’t shine.
Tune in to hear in detail about all these different tips and responses! Stay blessed and remember you've got this, no matter how far you have strayed or fallen, you will find your way back!
Email: gabrielegvozdaite@dmcb.uk
Instagram: @G_bbie
Waiting can be difficult, for some of us it's the hardest part of life, understandably so but when you find yourself in the season of waiting and you're not able to see the fruits of your labour the temptation to quit, compromise or settle can arise and if you don't have enough integrity or discipline that may be the route many of us take.
Actively exercising discipline means that even in times where you don’t feel like doing it, you’re able to push past the initial emotion and have the end and bigger picture in mind, it's about holding yourself to a higher standard and also holding yourself accountable to the decisions you make, a lot of people understand discipline to be as something connected to deprivation, so when it comes to our goals and dreams individuals often refer to the sacrifices they have had to make, we need to see things such as time, energy and effort as investments, being disciplined doesn’t mean you’re missing out on the things life has to offer, to be disciplined doesn’t mean to live your life like a robot or without any sense of joy or fulfilment, but in a way you’re able to do the things you truly want, you may no longer get to binge out on all your favourite snacks anymore, but you are now working towards become more healthy, you may not be able to attend every party or gathering but you’re now one making time to work on your goals and dreams, I think discipline is a lot more freeing than people believe it to be, having self-discipline means that you have the power to make decisions for yourself, you’re no longer controlled by external and even internal things like emotions and feelings.
In terms of integrity I think its so important, I think when you’re put in a position where things are perhaps not working out the way you anticipated, it really does test your character, or more so your integrity.
A lot of people get tired of waiting, get tired of not seeing results, and compromise their character, their values, their morals in order to see some progress, but when you compromise all those things you ultimately compromise your dreams and goals, you see people doing things they said they would have never done before or things that are questionable in order to level up, without integrity your constantly comprising everything you are and everything you believe in for a moment of temporary satisfaction. You see it all the time individuals selling themselves short of what they’re worth or what they believe in, in order to gain money, followers, influence or whatever it may be. How much of yourself are you willing to compromise in order to have that quick moment of success?
We need to have have enough discipline to commit to our goals and enough integrity to not compromise those same goals. We are products of the choices and decisions we make today, and I just encourage anyone listening to not stop now or settle for the first opportunity that comes your way, especially if its not aligned with your beliefs, your goals, or who you want to be long term.
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Instagram: @g_bbie
Your mind is your power, what you think dictates what you do and how you do things, many of us have internal battles with ourselves with this concept of “ I can” and “I can’t”. Many of us when presented with a new challenge, new situation, new obstacle, new opportunity are lead with the thoughts of “oh no I can’t do this” “this is too hard” “I wasn’t prepared for this” and not many of us approach these circumstances with “I’ve got this” a lot of us live in negative thoughts and we’re not even aware, we’re not aware of what we’re proclaiming into our lives and into this world, we’re not aware that our disbelief in ourselves proclaims failure.
Believing you can is so vital and so important when approaching your dreams and goals, believing you can is so vital and important for growth and development. I feel like a lot of us live on the principles of possibilities, on the principles of this could happen rather than this will happen, we live based on I could do this rather than I can do this. We don’t proclaim what we want, and we don’t act on what we want, we wish for it or we deem it to hard or out of reach.
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Instagram: @g_bbie or email me at Gabrielegvozdaite@dmcb.uk for any enquiries.
Video content is now available on instagram @g_bbie !! Make sure you check it out (That's what I was referring to at the start of the podcast)
But I was thinking and reflecting as I always do, and I feel like a lot of us are not recognising our own potential and talent and instead trying to feed off someone else’s - and that to me is an easy way out. Success only comes with sacrifice and I feel like a lot of us need to understand that statement for ourselves, a lot of us want certain things and want to be certain things but we immediately want the results more than we want the journey/proccess to getting them, and I feel like when you’re seeking results more than you're seeking the process, you’re not able to align your actions simply because the end goal may not be something you can achieve within a day or a week, the end goal requires you to be a specific person and have specific characteristics, but we don’t aim to develop that, we just aim to get there and we neglect the process, that’s why I feel like a lot of people have their quick moment of fame or a taste of success and never make it further than that because they never developed their character enough, they never gave themselves the chance to grow and understand the journey and themselves enough to maintain their success. The question isn't how to be successful, but how to maintain success.
I feel like this also raises the question of why are you even doing this, like what does success mean to you? Intentions can get blurred, and I often see people losing their way in terms of the need and desire to have the acclamations and validation from people - now don’t get me wrong I’m not speaking like I’m above this, like I literally thought that my success is based on the validation of others, of others telling me I’m doing a good job, of others praising me and giving me the acclamations, I used to get anxiety about posting my content and my mind would literally be running through this cycle of what if they don’t like it, what if they think this is rubbish, what if they think I’m an x, y and z type of person, and the seeking of validation from others capped my potential it stopped me because my success was then based on other people, I wanted people to see my dedication and see my work and appreciate the effort and time I put into it, and I feel like I mean I can’t speak on behalf of other people, but I do feel like within the working industries and I mean you can put it into whatever context so like creatives, lawyers, entrepreneurs, business owners whoever I feel like especially today there is this desire to have that acclamation, to have someone validate your work and observe the dedication and commitment you’ve put into your work, but the moment you start living or succeeding for others approval or others validation you begin to lose yourself, because you no longer do what makes you proud, you start doing and producing work that someone else will be proud of, you begin to lose that sense of individuality, that sense of uniqueness, that sense of personal touch,
A bit of a random episode where I simply just share my thoughts, feelings and ideas on what I'm currently facing and experiencing in life based on the question I found: 'When was the last time you felt most yourself?'
In life many people, situations and circumstances will attack your identity, statements like “you’re not good enough”, “you’re not right for this”, “you don’t belong here”, “you’re not beautiful enough”, “you’re not talented”, etc will be thrown at us and it’s easy to begin internalising those false perceptions of ourselves.
When we don’t know who we are others will tell us who we are and we will then begin living life through their perspective, which isn't always going to be positive. It's important to have personal integrity and to stand for your character and not compromise your identity to match the worlds perception of beauty.
Insecurity is something that governs so many of our lives, we fall victim to believing that we are not worthy enough, not beautiful enough or not good enough.
What’s important to remember is that - You are wonderfully and fearfully created (psalm 139:14) there is nothing that you lack, God specifically created you in his own image, his creation of you is an outpouring representation of his love. Once we intentionally choose to no longer see ourselves through the eyes of the world, and instead begin to look at ourselves through God and his words falling in love with yourself will become a lot easier and a lot more freeing.
You’ve stayed long enough at this mountain. Turn and take your journey.- Deuteronomy 1:6
So many of us think that lives challenges are forever, that where we are now will be where we remain, we see lives challenges and obstacles as these big mountains that will never move or will never change, we literally feel stuck and I’ve felt stuck countless times.
I literally saw my situation as damn I’m going to be here forever, nothings changing for me nothing is working, and I’m sharing this because I genuinely believe someone needs to hear this and that message is your situation will change, that mountain will move, that depression, the brokeness, the injuries, the unemployment, the hurt, the stress all of it will too shall pass, this message is a lot greater than me and you need to understand this for yourself.
I began to understand that there is literally a time and place for everything, and God wants us to move forward, he doesn’t want us to be in the same position for the rest of our lives, at some point you’ll receive that message of you’ve stayed here long enough at this mountain, turn and take your journey, you too will make that decision to turn around and take your journey.
But even that I feel like is so important the fact that were being instructed to turn around and take your journey, I feel like too often we try to fight these mountains, we try to make them move, we try to attack them and approach them with everything we have, meanwhile all we have to do is take a step back and see that there was a path next to the mountain all along, there was a way but we were too busy focusing on the mountain that we weren’t able to see the way.
With all that I mentioned that I went through it was never the situation that was the problem it was where I was looking and what I was seeing that was the problem, my perspective and vision limited me to the realm of frustration, sadness and anger, when all I really needed to do was take a step back breathe and understand that some situations are not in my control to change, but those exact situations are forcing me to change, and If I was to adapt and change myself in accordance to what is being expected of me and encouraged of me that frustration , sadness and anger would naturally leave. I thought I had to change my situations but I really had to change myself. I had to decided who I wanted to be. I had to take a step back from these mountains and look at the bigger picture, I feel like when we see these mountains in our lives we focus predominantly on them, our vision is set on these mountains, and we can’t see anything other than this mountain in our lives, and that’s how we operate if all we see in our lives is problems that’s all we will manifest and that’s what our lives will be limited to and our vision speaks to our character, I read that we don’t see things as they are, we see them as who we are, so when you are looking at your situations what do you see? And whatever you see is a reflection of who you are, that’s why I say its not your situation you need to primarily change its yourself. People have this misconception that my life needs to change, no you need to change, everything starts from within, when I began to understand that my life followed and changed according to that
In this episode I was joined by the wonderful and amazing Atina - an honest and transparent conversation in regards to maintaining this momentum when it comes to our dreams and goals, we quickly realised that momentum is very personal and has a different meaning to each and every individual, but it's important to pace yourself and remembering that its God's timing over my own timing, his way over my way. We shared some experiences and some moments where we felt like we lost momentum and how we responded to that.
I feel like too often when were on our journey to attaining our dreams and goals we lose that momentum that we started with, we loose that energy, that drive and that desire to want better and do better. We forget why we even started in the first place simply because the results of our actions don’t come instantaneously and that dream and goal that you started with becomes simply a distant memory or the road to attaining it just looks to long and too intimidating and especially in todays society where we seek immediate gratification or immediate results, and that’s why I think its so important to understand and be constantly reminded of why you’re doing what you’re doing, we need to find our why and constantly remind ourselves of it.
To lose momentum is a dangerous cycle to begin and I think often we don’t realise that we choose to lose momentum, its our choices that put us in that position, we often blame it on other things like circumstances but the truth is life is just an expression of your choices, the reason why you are where you are is because of the decisions that you have made, things can happen that are out of our control but we still choose how to respond,
To have nothing or to start from nothing is not a reason as to why you’re not doing something. I feel like too many of us use our current situations/predicaments as reasons to why were not going after what we want and it makes no sense, because its not your situation or your background that dictates your future, your legacy or your dreams, if that was the case a lot of big businesses/ brands or entrepreneurs wouldn’t exist. We need to stop seeking for more and instead start seeking for how we can use what we already have. A lot of successful people start out with nothing but a vision and a dream, so if you think you need money or any other materialistic things you're only playing yourself, money was never the answer and will never be the answer, money and other material gains are results from actions and plans. Get it out of your head that you need to have a certain amount of money, or better equipment , or more followers, or more investments to do what you need to do.
If you want to do it, do it and go after it and stop waiting for more, because you not being the richest, not having the widest network, the deepest understanding, the best equipment is a limitation you set on yourself, no one is stopping you but yourself, your beginnings may be small but your latter days will be great (Job 8;7) its not about where you start, or what you do or don’t have all of that is irrelevant if your focused on the goal and the dream, none of that other stuff should matter.
Control - it’s such an interesting topic for me because I feel like I’m currently growing aware and understanding this concept of control and what it means to be in control. In this episode I was accompanied by two lovely successful ladies Kamille and Agnes, whom I've been friends with for numerous years and each day spent together is an exciting and unpredictable adventure! Listen to the very end to hear us rap poorly! I think everyday I wake up and realise just a little bit more that I’m not in control of anything other than me, some days it scares me because it’s like oh okay so how can I then navigate my life? How can I then navigate my dreams? My goals? If I’m not in control other days I wake up and I’m excited by the numerous possibilities I could come across simply because I’m not in control. One thing that I am becoming extremely aware of is that in this life we get given what we need in ways we don’t expect and it’s really about releasing this control, its by releasing control that we can take it back (wise words of Kamille). I feel like a lot of us are stuck in our own ways and usually that way is based on what we understand and know. I feel like a lot of us see life as a straight path, like when we look at our lives, our goals and dreams we see it as point A to B, we see it as if I do this I’ll get this result, what I’m learning these days is that that’s probably the furthest thing from the truth because it’s just never that simple, life isn’t a straight path, life doesn’t follow the logic of input = output because life is limitless there are numerous outcomes and possibilities that could occur, so just because I do this doesn’t mean I’ll get this result, and I think by understanding that I’m becoming less resistant to change, and by doing that I’m not fighting change and it allows me to be more adaptive and I feel like when we are able to adapt we are able to succeed because we’re not bound to a situation, we’re not bound to a certain outcome, and when you’re not bound to something, you’re free and when you’re free you’re able to manoeuvre you’re able to make choices and be dynamic with your approach. In the wise words of Agnes let go and let God.
Life is constantly changing, we’re constantly meeting new people, constantly seeing new things, constantly being put in new and different situations and we’re constantly coming across the unpredictable. The unplanned. It scares a lot of us, we panic, we freeze, we get caught up in the fact that I didn’t plan for this, I didn’t expect for this to happen, I wasn’t ready. So in this episode I was accompanied by the wise, insightful and amazing Jaiden Robjent, in which we discussed this concept of change, how it affects us, how we can respond to it, how we can embrace it.
We understood that the unpredictable the unplanned hits hard and fast, and in that moment you’re left to decide what next. Some of us never get to that point of deciding, some of us are still so shocked and so surprised by the unplanned by the unpredictable that that’s all we can see in the moment all we can see think and feel is how did this happen? What I found to be the truth is life has and comes with many of those moments, some are more frustrating than others but those moments come and in that moment we have a decision to make. I recently said how success and greatness comes with the ability to adapt, and that ability to adapt and that willingness to change is so so important, because if we don’t change, if we don’t adapt, it we don’t meet each situation obstacle and predicament with an open and willing mind to change we will never grow. Focus on your mind, focus on who you are, who you could be and who you are becoming, and find peace in your mind, keeping a level head and entering each avenue with purpose and intent.
I feel like evolving is vital for survival and vital for living, how can you not evolve? How can you not strive to be better? When we stop growing we stop living, put it this way life is constantly changing, new things, new ideas, new theories, new conversations, new people, new opportunities are constantly being presented and you can’t meet new with old, you can’t approach everything with what you already know/understand because if you do you’ll get the same outcome, if we live based only on what we know we will only experience what we know, so it’s like how can you stop growing, stop evolving, stop being better? The minute you do that’s the reality you live in for life, that’s the moment you stop and you stay stagnant. So continue to evolve, continue to embrace change, and don't forget to rest!
So in this episode I changed things up a little bit, you guys get to see the raw, unedited and slightly tired gabs, I got you guys to send in some of your questions in which I picked 10 to answer, some of these questions had me really deeping life and thinking hopefully it has the same effect on you! Some of the questions I answered were: What do you define as success? What’s your opinion on a 9-5? Should all dreams goals and ambitions be realistic? Why is finding the time to fit everybody in your lifestyle schedule so difficult? And many more my favourite question was Why does the decrease in motivation have constant implications to people chasing their dreams? Tune In to find out my answer & my hardest question which I still don’t think I really have an answer to is Why does society portray us to live our lives in a certain way and within a certain time frame? But my main message in this episode is Psalm 107:1 Bible verse - Start each day with a grateful heart and always protect your energy and your environment so you don’t lose motivation and you don’t get comfortable and complacent with where you are, the minute we get comfortable with where we are the minute our goals and dreams look more uncomfortable.
I quickly realised in my lifetime that I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself, no time for a long or short pity party, I realised I’m not entitled to opportunities that I think I deserve or ought to have - the power of “I should” goes unnoticed but it’s a very powerful and a negative mindset to hold. I began to change my why and how to what and when, knowing that trying just isn’t enough, trying leaves room for failure instead I now ‘do’, I do the things I set out to do not try to do the things I set out to do, and I don’t stop at rejection, obstacles, failure or loses and you shouldn’t either, take each moment of loss as an opportunity to gain, to gain time to perfect your craft and develop your character. Change your perspective so you can change your narrative so you can change your life.
This episode takes the approach of a discussion in which I was accompanied by a very special guest! We talked on the concept of time and being selfish with your time. We delved straight into this concept of being selfish and the misconceptions surrounding it. How does being selfless and being selfish work? Inspired by the great Michelle Obama “One of the things that I want to model for my girls is investing in themselves as much as they invest in others." How can you help others before helping yourself? We spoke on this idea that in order to be of service or help to others you gotta help yourself first, invest in yourself so you can invest in others. But what do you do with people who feel entitled to your time?? Key thing to learn is that as you invest in yourself, you'll have more to offer the world around you. You'll offer more insight and wisdom on a topic. You'll help a friend that will benefit from your skill sets. Priorities! Priorities! Priorities!!
Romans 5:3 “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,” - stop trying to find easy way out or the easy way to do things, go through the process, endure the hardships, go through not past but through your emotions so then you can begin to change them. Don’t stop at every obstacle you face, don’t stop at every trial and tribulation, continue to persevere through because you’ll never know how great you could have been or how successful you could have been till you finish something. Don’t work smarter and not harder, work smarter AND harder, when you don’t feel like doing something make sure you do it, because we’re not controlled by our emotions over on this side.
By living in this rich fantasy we can’t change our broke reality. Confront your reality with confidence knowing that you can and you will change your background, don’t be so intimidated by your reality that you create a fantasy to live in, without having a clear sense of reality we can’t navigate our lives accordingly, see your life for what it is and use that desire to want better to catalyse change within. At some point you stopped doing what came naturally to you and started doing what you were told. Refuse to conform Instead be Silent. Determined. Focused. Build a legacy through that internal greatness that’s within you.
Thankyou for sharing your stories, your experiences and your truth with us. Thankyou for your voices. Editing this episode brought tears to my eyes. We live in a world where black people are disadvantaged not because they are disadvantaged but because the system was designed in such a way where they face oppression, injustice, inequality, inequities, bias, profiling and hatred on a day to day basis solely because of the colour of their skin. It’s not right. It’s not okay. It cannot be justified. It cannot be reasoned with. It cannot be accepted. It cannot be understood. Despite how the world treats you, what the world says about you, what your fellow citizens, classmates, coaches, teachers, politicians, governors say about you always remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE STRONG. YOU ARE WISE. YOU ARE PRECIOUS. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE BRIGHT. YOU ARE POWERFUL. YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. YOU EMBODY LOVE, STRENGTH, PEACE, GENTLENESS, KINDNESS, VICTORY, COURAGE, BRAVERY AND BEAUTY. The world will attack you, the world will try to silence you, the world will tire you out, the world will try to internalise all the hatred it has, all the fear it has, all the ignorance and it will project all of its hate onto you, but you were made with love, you embody such power such grace, such light, that when the world tries to dim your light YOU WILL SHINE BRIGHTER than ever.
In this episode I was accompanied by the wonderful Adz, we spoke about going beyond believing in yourself, getting to a point where you now begin to know. Stop limiting yourself and waiting for others to validate you or approve your dreams and goals, that approval is not necessary, that lingering and waiting for approval deprives us from our natural instincts and our natural greatness. Stop internalising other people’s opinions, what do you think of yourself??? I asked four critical questions: (1) What does it mean to believe in yourself (2) Personal experiences that challenged your self belief (3) What is the power of self belief (4) How do you get to a place where you believe in yourself. Wake up everyday telling yourself that greatness is within you, excellency is within you, you are successful, you are great, you are powerful but most importantly you are fearfully and wonderfully made (I know because God told me so).
Its no longer about things that stop us from achieving our goals, its now about you are stopping yourself from achieving your goals and dreams, we need to take ultimate accountability and responsibility for our goals and dreams, its no longer about looking at external factors which influence my goals and dreams, its about looking within and asking myself the question of why are you not where you want to be. The power of choice. There are a million reasons that you tell yourself why you’re not going to do something or why something has not been done and there will always be a million reasons why you should not do something, but if not now then when?
In my first episode I discuss the root of our dreams and thinking beyond money driven and rooted dreams. Money isn't the root of all evil, but it definitely should't be the root of our dreams, I turned to some bible verses to help us further understand the power of rooting our dreams in everlasting solid foundations (in case you missed it Proverbs 24:27 and John 6:27). If there is anything you take from this episode is that you have excellence and greatness in you, unlock that potential, achieve your goals and dreams, and WIN.
A quick introduction about what my podcast is going to be about... Initially I was going to start a blog because I’m better at writing than talking but that would defeat the whole purpose of raising the bar higher for ourselves and leaving behind comfort zones and familiarity. I’m not an expert in this field but I believe that life is all about growing, learning and sharing. So hopefully we can all learn from each-other and share our experiences and as a result grown from it. Hope you enjoy xoxo