The Divorce Field Guide: Recent Episodes

Ani Mason, Esq.

The Divorce Field Guide is an informational podcast for listeners who are considering, at the outset of, or in the midst of a divorce. We break the topic of divorce down into bite-sized pieces, with the goal of making your divorce process feel more manageable and clear as you go through it. Each episode covers a different topic related to divorce. You can find episode transcripts as well as a free guide to divorce on our website: thedivorcefieldguide.com.

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There are broad categories of parental rights that you do not need to negotiate for in a divorce, in that they will almost always be included as boilerplate in the custody article of your divorce agreement. Episode 95 takes a look at what subjects these rights touch upon, and what is typically said about them in your agreement.

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Should name a legal guardian for your kids in your divorce agreement? And what significance does it have if you decide to do so? All that and more in Episode 94.

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A common question that many parents raise is whether and to what degree having been (or not been) the primary caregiver for their children will impact their parental rights in divorce. Episode 93 explores the impact of primary caregiver status on your custody negotiation, in and out of court.

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In Episode 92, we look at how your divorce agreement can and does - or does not - regulate each parent's spending on their kids, in particular with regrad to big-ticket items, post divorce. We'll look at how to ensure that your co-parent shares certain big-ticket purchases with you, or how to prevent your co-parent from making certain big-ticket purchases without your buy-in and approval.

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How do parents cover health-related expenses for their kids post divorce? What's covered by the term "health-related expenses" in the first place? And what potentially-sticky topics should you give thought to in advance of negotiating this subject in your divorce?

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Preserving health insurance coverage for kids is a focus of the divorce process, despite the fact that not much needs to change in kids' health insurance when you divorce. Episode 90 looks at the kid-related health insurance details your divorce agreement will speak to, and how to think through future changes in your kids' insurance.

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How does health insurance coverage change for spouses during a divorce - and at what particular points in the divorce process does it change? How can you ensure that both spouses have health insurance coverage post divorce? All that and more in Episode 89!

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Join us in Episode 88 for an overview of the divorce process, including brief outlines of the key phases of your divorce: working through the issues, drafting your agreement, filing court paperwork, and handling post-divorce administrative matters.

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Interests in privately-held companies can be one of the more complex types of assets to divide in a divorce, and there are several different approaches to doing so. Check out Episode 87 to learn what to expect from the divorce process if you or your spouse owns an interest of any size in a business of any size.

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How do parents organize vacations with (and without) their kids after a divorce? What types of details related to vacations will your agreement clarify? What vacation-related topics will your agreement not address? Answers to all that and more in Episode 86!

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What happens when you're scheduled to be with your kids but you can't be with them - for instance, due to a work trip? What if you're the non-scheduled parent in that scenario? Do yuo have the right to be with your kids? The obligation? In Episode 85, we discuss the "right of first refusal," a handy clause that's commonly found in the parenting section of your agreement.

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Pets are family members, too! If you'd like your divorce agreement to address sharing time with or the costs of your pet after a divorce, Episode 84 is for you.

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Divorcing with young children carries with it a host of challenges. How you share responsibility for child care costs should not be one of them. Episode 83 will walk you through the ways couples commonly structure sharing responsibility for future child care in their divorce agreement.

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For many families, one family car is enough, even post divorce. Episode 82 takes you through the various considerations to bear in mind when you agree to continue sharing a car with your ex.

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Divorces takes time to resolve, and life moves forward in the meantime. If you're in the fortunate position of creating or acquiring an asset in the midst of your divorce, Episode 81 walks you through some of the key considerations to bear in mind.

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Should you be concerned about privacy and confidentiality in and following your divorce? If so (or if not, and you're concerned anyway!), how can your divorce agreement address your concerns?

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For many people, the task of organizing their finances is overwhelming. In this episode, we discuss a variety of options for getting outside help with one of the more challenging requirements of the divorce process.

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In Episode 78, we finish our four-part series on organizing your finances, a task that provides the foundation for all financial negotiations in your divorce. Here, we focus on organizing your debts.

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In Episode 77, we continue a four-part series on organizing your finances, a task that provides the foundation for all financial negotiations in your divorce. Here, we focus on organizing your assets.

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In Episode 76, we continue a four-part series on organizing your finances, a task that provides the foundation for all financial negotiations in your divorce. Here, we focus on organizing your expenses.

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One the bigger tasks when you're divorcing is to organize and understand your financial situation. This provides the foundation for all subsequent negotiations around finances, but many spouses are at a loss for how to get started. Over the next four episodes, we'll cover the basics of how to begin organizing your finances, vis-a-vis your income, expenses, assets and debts. Episode 75 focuses on income.

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When figuring out the distribution of assets in your divorce, you may have a subset of assets, or a single asset, that you can neither sell to a third party, nor divide between you. What then? Episode 74 will lay out your options.

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In the course of your divorce negotiation, you may face the question of whether, and to what degree, to take less (or provide more) than the law calls for. How can you determine, in your particular situation, whether that's the right thing to do? How can you ensure that a decision you make today is not one you regret down the road?

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It's uncommon for someone to feel like their divorce process resolved too quickly. The opposite is more frequently the case. Why does divorce take as long as it does, and often so much longer than divorcing spouses would like? And what can you do to move your divorce along more quickly?

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Many people wonder if they can update their will or other estate planning documents before their divorce is finalized. Sometimes yes, sometime no. Episode 71 provides an overview of the ways in which changes to estate planning are typically restricted during divorce, and common exceptions to those restrictions.

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Episode 70 describes several of the more important but less obvious considerations for you to keep in mind as you think through the ideal division of your marital assets.

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Once you and your spouse have agreed to the amount and duration of child support and/or spousal support, there are two important questions you need to answer. One, do you want to speak to whether support may change in the future, in amount or duration? Two, if so, do you want to speak to exactly how support would change? Episode 69 will take you though how to think about support "modification" in the context of your divorce negotiation.

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If you own your home and want to complete a buy-out of one spouse's interest in the home, you will typically also need to refinance or assume the mortgage. In Episode 68, we look more closely at how that works.

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When you've been in mediation, and you're ready to have outside attorneys review your draft agreement, what's the best way to go about coordinating that? Should their review be sequenced, or happen simultaneously? Answers to those questions in Episode 67!

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What's a term sheet? Do you need one? We'll take a look at the role a term sheet can play in your mediation or negotiation process in Episode 66.

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Many people have the misconception that mediation is only for spouses who get along well. Not so. But, at a certain level of conflict, mediation ceases to be an effective or productive process for you. Episode 65 looks at how to determine where that tipping point is, and how can you work productively in a negotiation process even if you can't stand being in the same room as your spouse.

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What can you do when your spouse has dug heels in on a particular point and won't negotiate further? Especially where their offer is far outside the realm of the reasonable on the subject being negotiated? Episode 64 looks at what your options are, and how can you weigh them and proceed productively, when you have a stubborn or intransigent spouse on the other side of the table.

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People's incomes change over time, and divorce is no exception to that. What happens when your or your spouse's income changes - for better or for worse - in the divorce process? How should you consider and work with income changes in your divorce negotiation?

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Many people are in a relationship with a significant other while going through their divorce. How does that impact your divorce process? Episode 62 will explore this dynamic and its impact on divorce negotiation. We'll offer some tips on how to ensure, if you do have a significant other while divorcing, that your divorce process goes as well as possible.

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It's not uncommon for spouses to come to a divorce mediation process without feeling much trust for one another. Episode 61 looks at the ways that the mediation process can be structured to solve for an absence of trust, and what red flags, in particular around lack of transparency and integrity, may indicate that mediation is not an appropriate process for you.

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Divorce brings with it a lot of changes, a number of which can be unwelcome. At least, initially. How can you work productively with difficult change in the divorce process, and how can you support your spouse in doing so?

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Most people who hope to settle their divorce out of court envision working with reasonable attorneys in the process, on both sides. What happens when your spouse doesn't share your vision, at least insofar as his or her attorney is concerned? And what are the most constructive ways you can approach your divorce negotiation if your spouse has hired an aggressive attorney?

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For many reasons, couples may initiate a divorce process and then put it on the back burner for months or years. What are the consequences of doing that? And what are some things you should consider if you're anticipating letting your divorce lapse, or are in the midst of a well-lapsed divorce?

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Your divorce will likely take a while to resolve. What happens when the assets that are the subject of your divorce change in value during the process?

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One of the many changes that divorce brings may be a return to the workforce for a spouse who has previously stayed home. The issue of how and how quickly this happens can be a source of conflict between divorcing spouses. In Episode 56, we'll take a look at reasonable approaches - by both sposues - to one spouse's return to the workforce.

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More often than not, spouses bring differing levels of comfort with and knowledge of their finances to the divorce process. This can be challenging, especially in a mediation, where spouses participate more actively in the negotiation of their own settlement. What are the best ways of working with this kind of disparity in spouses' financial sophistication, while maintaining a commitment to a reasonable settlement process?

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What's an interim agreement? When might you want one? What are some of the potential pitfalls of signing an interim agreement? We'll discuss these topics and more in Episode 54.

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What happens when you change your mind about something you've already agreed to in your negotiation? Is it too late? What are the effects on your negotiation process? And how can you minimize the likelihood of that happening?

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Is it a good idea to communicate directly with your spouse during your divorce? It really depends. We'll discuss some common pitfalls and how to work around them in Episode 52.

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Many couples going through a divorce have questions about whether they can (or should) file taxes jointly with their spouse. Episode 51 looks at the pros and cons of filing jointly while divorcing.

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In December 2017, our tax law underwent a major overhaul. Let's discuss the components of that overhaul that are most relevant to divorce.

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Many families going through a divorce have expenses that exceed their income. What are the implications of a spending deficit, and the solutions to it, in a divorce?

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What happens when a parent wants to move out of state with their kids during or following a divorce?

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In Episode 47, we look at what's required to transfer retirement assets (without tax penalty) between you and your spouse.

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If you're participating in a divorce mediation at what point in the process should you file in court? What are the pros and cons of filing at the outset vs. conclusion of your process?

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During a divorce process, many spouses wonder if they can move out of the marital home. While there's no blanket answer to that question, we'll look at the pros and cons of doing so in this episode.

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In Episode 44, we look at the option of continuing to co-own the marital home with your spouse following a divorce.

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Episode 43 walks you through the considerations and components of buying out a spouse's interest in the marital home.

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If you own your home, it's often one of the major assets in a divorce, and there are three approaches to dividing it. In this episode, we discuss selling the home to a third party.

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Back-to-back tax episodes! Episode 41 explains how "net operating losses" (NOLs) can come up in a divorce context, and how to figure out - but not overstate - their value.

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You're divorcing, and you owe taxes. How people handle theirĀ  tax bill when divorcing, plus common pitfalls to look out for, all in Episode 40.

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Can you ensure that your ex leaves part of his or her estate to your kids when they die? Are you obligated to promise a part of your estate to your kids? We'll answer all that and more in Episode 39.

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What about when your "stuff" has emotional significance? Like a family heirloom, or a meaningful piece of jewelry? Tune in to Episode 38 to learn how divorcing spouses tackle emotionally significant items when divorcing.

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When you separate your households, who keeps what? If you can't agree, how can you resolve your conflict? Episode 37 walks you through dividing your "stuff" as a part of divorce. (Hint: it's often simpler than you think.)

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What exactly does "Walk-Away Divorce" mean? And what's so special about having one? What if you don't have one? Answers to all three questions in Episode 36.

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Should you maintain a joint account with your ex after your divorce? Let's look more closely at why you might, and why not, in Episode 35.

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What's the difference between a legal separation and a legal divorce? Episode 34 breaks it down for you.

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What are the different ways you can work with outside attorneys in your divorce mediation? Episode 33 looks at the variety of options available to you.

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In Episode 32, we examine the pros and cons of having your mediator vs. your own attorney draft your settlement agreement in a divorce mediation.

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If your spouse is self-employed, how can you figure out their income for support purposes in a divorce? Tune into Episode 31 for two key tips.

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Many divorcing parents want to address how college will be paid for. Episode 30 looks at the different ways you might do that as part of your divorce.

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Episode 29 explores what you can do when your spouse presents a low-ball offer in your divorce negotiation.

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In Episode 28, we look at the concept of an alimony buyout, and how it may or may not be an attractive option in your divorce.

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Following a divorce, many parents must mutually agree on all major decisions for their kids. Episode 27 explores what happens when they can't.

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How much deference should parents give to their children's opinions on a parenting schedule? Episode 26 addresses that challenging topic.

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In Episode 25, we look at the different commitments parents make re introducing future significant others to their kids.

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In Episode 24, we delve into how parents can manage their kids' passports and citizenship post-divorce.

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In Episode 23, we review the commitments and restrictions around traveling with kids after a divorce.

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In this episode, we look at how divorced parents typically share holidays with their kids.

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In this episode, we review the most common 50-50 (equal time) parenting schedules for divorced parents.

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In Episode 20 of The Divorce Field Guide, we wrap up the podcast by reviewing our top listener questions about divorce.

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Episode 19: Pro Tips! For those of you who've made it this far in the podcast, we've got pro tips on negotiating and on managing the interpersonal dynamics specific to divorce.

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In Episode 18, we talk about the mechanics of paying for your divorce, and we discuss how to think about "what the law says" in your divorce.

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In Episode 17, we'll delve into health insurance, life insurance and estate planning, as they tend to arise in divorce.

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Episode 16 is all about the overlap of taxes and divorce. Not nearly as boring as it sounds, IMHO.

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Episode 15 is about dividing your assets and your debts in a divorce process.

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In Episode 14, we walk through the different types of financial support that are covered in a divorce: financial support for kids (child support) and for spouses (spousal support).

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Episode 13 is all about kids and divorce. We talk custody, parenting schedules, authority to make decisions for your kids, travel, moving post-divorce, and more.

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In Episode 12, we cover the gathering and sharing of financial information -- simultaneously one of the most important and most loathed parts of the divorce process!

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Episode 11 takes you through what to expect from and how to prepare for your initial divorce consultation.

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Episode 10 is all about how to hire the right divorce attorney or mediator.

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In Episode 9, we recap the six different negotiation processes covered in Episodes 3 through 8. We also take on the two more popular divorce-related questions: How long will my divorce take? And how much will my divorce cost?

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Episode 8 centers around arbitration in divorce. We cover how it works, who's involved, who talks to whom, how much attorney involvement you can expect, how likely you are to spend time in court, and more.

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Episode 7 is all about divorcing in court (i.e., in litigation!). We cover how it works, who's involved, who talks to whom, how much attorney involvement you can expect, how likely you are to spend time in court, and more.

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Episode 6 focuses on settlement negotiation. We cover how it works, who's involved, who talks to whom, how much attorney involvement you can expect, how likely you are to spend time in court, and more.

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Episode 5 takes a close look at collaborative law. We cover how it works, who's involved, who talks to whom, how much attorney involvement you can expect, how likely you are to spend time in court, and more.

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Episode 4 is all about divorce mediation. We cover how it works, who's involved, who talks to whom, how much attorney involvement you can expect, how likely you are to spend time in court, and more.

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Episode 3 dives into more detail on the role of negotiation in your divorce, and we cover our first type of divorce negotiation: the DIY Divorce.

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In Episode 2, we cover the basics of negotiation and understand why it plays an important role in your divorce, and why it pays to brush up on your negotiation skills

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Episode 1 is our introductory episode. We'll cover an overview of what's to come in the podcast, and what you can expect to learn from it. We'll also review two key concepts, which will serve as a foundation for future episodes.

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New to the podcast? Start here! A mini-episode with a very important message for all podcast listeners.