Blue Balls NYCFC: Recent Episodes
Blue Balls NYCFC
You've got Blue Balls! How lucky for you. Check in every week for rapturous pod talk on all things NYCFC. Hosted by Harlemites Jake Beckhard (@jakebecknation) and Trey Fillmore (@treyfillmore).
This is a temporary episode blurb while jake writes the real one, farts farts farts and such and such but MINNESOTA, WWC, CINCY, MORE
The heat's broken, Blue Ballers, and so has the news: your FO has been busy after all and NYCFC is adding a slate of new talent. Will it be enough to rescue the 2023 season? Only time will tell -- but in the meantime, Jake and Trey break down the Leagues Cup play so far, including a 5-0 defeat of Toronto that made us cry "stop, stop, he's already dead!" -- Plus, taking Talles' temperature, a bevy of depth and a-team signings, and of course a knockout round Hudson River Derby precap. Don't look now, it's the Krustyburglar -- and he's got Blue Balls!
Blue Ballers, something stinks! And it's not just the stench of the dead mouse Jake stepped on while going to record. No folks, it's the VIBES. They stink to high heaven and Jake and Trey are digging through the odor trying to figure out why. What's happening on and off the bench? Where is the $12 million dollar man? What went so wrong in Philadelphia? How will Nick Coaching be cushing this team through the Leagues Cup? PLUS: a little more WWC preview from Trey and a mini precap of Atlas FC. Don't sweat through your clothes on the subway -- you've got Blue Balls.
Shabbat shalom, Blue Ballers! Two draws and a win to recap is still significantly better than could have been anticipated -- and yet, we're far from out of the Mad Forest of Midseason. Jake and Trey break it all down for you, taking the hot points from Montreal, Charlotte, and Columbus. We talk officiating, brand new signings, Haaktivism, past lives, and sweaty season. Don't get caught in the hot car -- you've got Blue Balls.
It’s more or less the same in Blue Balls land as Jake and Trey recap — what else — another streak of draws. We talk Freese’s pieces, unlikely CB successes, and the various b teams we squeezed points from this week. Plus USMNT and USWNT check-ins, vibe checks on the culture, and the casualest of Montreal precaps. Plug the Vornado in honey — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Folks, we won't lie to you. It's a rough week. Okay show though. Trey and Jake kill some time so that you can kill some time with us and dream of better days on the horizon. We talk what to do with the time we're slowly burning until the transfer window opens, the surprise bright spots of the week, and then a whole bunch of USMNT action that we miss while we're bitchin'. Throw that rock-paper-scissors celebration carefully: you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey barrel through the smog to give YOU a non-hazardous level of Blue Balls this morning. And what's on the docket? Frustrating scorelines! Testy supporters section exchanges! Mystery slurs! Knee surgeries! Major deals in the league, and the lack thereof at NYCFC! The vibes, friends, are not on -- and your cohorsts are on the ground talking about it. We chat about all the elements that are conspiring to sabotage our season and go looking for positives to cling to in the meantime. Hope springs eternal, but will NYCFC be able to rescue this season, or will it be, in the words of CFG's Brian Marwood, "tough titties"? Those with respiratory or heart conditions should be informed: you've got Blue Balls.
Y'all know what we're here to talk about. Jake & Trey dig into a meal nine years in the slow cooker. NYCFC has announced a stadium and we're gettin' into it, baybee. Plus: roster talk and a little World Cup wink before next episode's season-in-review. Don't freak out: Queens has Blue Balls.
or: Return of the Haak // Three more goals and ninety more tooth-and-nail minutes are sending NYCFC once again to the conference finals and your boys are FEELIN IT. Jake and Trey convene LIVE to break down the messy frenetic first half and cool, collected chipping away of the second in our 3-1 victory over Montreal. Wilfried Nancy’s boys gave us a beating but in the end, stellar performances from Santi, Talles, Sean John, Maxi, and even a surprise support from Justin Haak led NYCFC to a well-earned victory. We talk all that, plus free agency, injuries, and of course a preview against true regional rivals, one of the best teams in league history, this year’s Philly Union. Don’t get the one ply just because it’s cheaper — you’ve got Blue Balls.
NYCFC is here, baby, and the playoff teams are quaking. A decisive 3-0 victory from your Boys and Blue has our hearts all aflutter and Jake and Trey are here to nervously talk just how far NYCFC can go. We discuss the hotly anticipated and hotly deployed adjustments to a Magno-less starting XI, how GOOD it feels to see Santi back in the mixer where he can do real damage, the miniature magnate Maximiliano, and the tragicomedy of Heber. PLUS: winners and losers from the weekend and a precap of battling the bruisers in Montreal. Don't tie your laces too tight -- you've got Blue Balls.
The stage is set, the stadium is in the boroughs, and the boys are ready for glory -- the NYCFC postseason is upon us and Jake & Trey are ready to talk turkey. We break down the 2-1 declarative victory against Atlanta, its glories as well as its costs, dig into the arc of the final third of the season, start painting pictures of the Cushing era's newest biggest injury problems and what adaptations could come, and of course, clap back at the haters anticipating our upcoming clash. Plus: Trey refuses to engage in more stadium chatter, and we celebrate the homecoming of our hard-earned home game. All before 10:00am. Make sure you've got all the tissues you need, folks -- you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey are back in the hot seat after a week away, and the Boys in Blue are back in the pocket after a long hard try month. Will it be enough to keep them competitive in postseason? Perhaps! Will Nick Cushing join the ranks of Dome Torrent and Ronny Deila as a much maligned but ultimately beloved NYCFC gaffer? Perhaps that too! Will Alex Callens continue to wrecking ball his way through MLS sides? That one's a guarantee. We talk top-notch Talles moments, the return of Big Bird, the saving grace Cushing's found in a defensive approach, and so much more.
THEN: Ugliness abounds in the world of national soccer. We run down the Justice Department's bombshell report on top-down culture in NWSL and its most recent ramifications. AND: are the boys in the Stars and Stripes prepared for Qatar? ... It doesn't look like it! Just do a set of ten pushups or something -- you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey are back on the mic, and for the first time in a month and a half, EAGER TO TALK ABOUT NYCFC as we review the stunning and potentially season-saving victory over Red Bulls New Jersey. Good feelings abound as we talk about banner matches from Santi Rodriguez and Alexander Callens, not to mention episode two of O'Toole Time, a brilliant engine from Cacha Acevedo, and the sneaky deployment of one Maxime Chanot. Then: we break down the 22 under 22 list in Talking Points, plus some nervewracking Free Agency discussions and a little USMNT check-in. We highly advise you to stop texting Adam Levine -- you've got Blue Balls.
Bright and early, Jake and Trey are riding the surge of adrenaline pouring out of Yankee Stadium this morning to bring you the first happy Blue Balls in many moons. The boys get right down to it, talking atmosphere, accolades, tactical successes and tactical misfires, defensive conquests and offensive misadventures, and what it means that Nick Cushing fielded starters in a mid-week demo match before a derby day.
PLUS: a little Outfield mailbag action (subscribe today! we love to cross promote!), some gaffer gab, some MVP chat, and of course a precap of the biggest Big Bad we've got: our final regular season Red Bulls matchup this Saturday at 1pm. What will our fate be? Don't forget to breathe - you've got Blue Balls.
Well we dragged this one up from the deep just before the clock tolled midnight after a grueling 0-3 loss to our old rivals, the New England Revs and their paunchy pop-pop coach Bruce Arena. Jake and Trey have been on vay-cay and jump back in to truly unpack what the fuck is going on, beginning and ending with the man with more Cushing for the pushing, but taking a tour around our frustratingly underperforming roster of raucous rookies as well. Should we be seeing more than we are? Is positive reinforcement the way to go, or is it time to break out the rod and stop spoiling the child? Can Heber ever score again? Can Talles? Can Anyone!?!?! What is happening in the midfield? Are the wings a lost cause? The questions are endless and the answers are unsatisfying, but we go in on 'em anyway. Plus: a little dour Cincinnati preview, as a treat. Do the stretches the doctor gave you -- you've got Blue Balls.
Bienvenido a Miami blue ballers - but not yet! We have an episode before our boys hit the sunshine state, recapping the mad dash and lost points in Columbus. Lots of Q's hang over the boys at the moment and this episode is chock full of pondering them. We dress to the 9's to talk our 9's - are Heber and Talles enough to repeat the Cup? What silver linings are we to take from a tough road match vs. the Crew? Then - Will injury luck ever even out? Did the FO do enough during the transfer window? Lastly, can we cool down a hot Higuain yet again? We don't have answers, but we have a free hour of audio! Return your seats to an upright position, you've got Blue Balls.
The boys is back, bruvs. We talk the Taty true-true; with Castellanos netting goals for Girona, we're feeling his absence more than ever and break down all the ways we miss our golden boot boi. But that's not all: your boys chat the Americans teetering on the edge of greatness, the Brazilians ready to be unlocked by a Kleber word, and the Columbians (South and North American) ready to fuck us up when we go toe to toe with Columbus. Don't hog the covers -- you've got Blue Balls.
Buongiorno Blue Ballerinos, and thanks for joining us for another rowdy rambling of all things NYCFC. Jake couldn't make it this week (which is why this episode description is trash!), but there was too much to get to to not have a new pod for you folks so this time we brought out the big guns of first time long time Paul Harvey of The Outfield. First, we dug our spurs into Dallas, the 3-4-3, and what did and didn't catch fire in the Texas heat. Then a brief recap of a huge derby win against NJ, immediately overshadowed by Taty-ness. What is the impact of Taty meaning, and how the heck will we manage all this angst against Inter Miami? (We Will). All this and more (and Jake will be back soon we promise) so strap in with two fruit sno-cones - you've got Blue Balls.
After a manic 4-4 draw followed by a tight-wound 2-2, your boys in blue have had an emotionally draining week! Jake & Trey take the mic to review the blow-by-blow on the field for NYCFC's challenging matches against Cincinnati and Atlanta, in which we saw: the return of Heber as a point-forward, Maxi at his natural best and his natural worst, Johnson looking both flaccid and erect, a goal-hungry Taty, a hot-to-trot Chanot, and so much more; in other words, everything you could want from two NYCFC matches except six points. We've got it all here for you. THEN: are we going to get DP'd by our DP situation? Is Mitrita coming back, and why is he telling the press he wants to? And what does the Keaton Katastrophe mean for NYCFC, and for the man himself? And of course, a lightning-fast precap of New England action at Yankee Stadium this Saturday. Restock on Gold Bond and use that MeUndies code - you've got Blue Balls.
Three matches in, and what does the Nick Cushing era look like for NYCFC? It looks like -- a team that hasn't played in nearly a month trying to find its footing again! This and some even more obvious insights are exactly what you can expect from the return of Da Boys as Jake & Trey pop back into the hot seat and break down the draw-loss-loss of the last three matches. We touch briefly on reconnecting with old pals against Colorado, then break down the c(r)ushing loss against Red Bulls in the Open Cup, and do our best to stay chill unpacking a disappointing 1-2 loss against regional rivals Philly Union.
THEN: Missives from the Soup as Chris Campbell gives us all something to hope for this summer! Mitrita: is he coming back? What does it all mean for TAM, GAM, DPs, and TPS reports!? And Gareth Bale, soccer's least motivated superstar, is coming to the city of angels! Are LAFC unstoppable? Only time -- and this podcast -- will tell. So take that ice-cold White Claw out of your lap and pop your airpods in: you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey are stirred from their international break slumber by seismic news. The writing's all but on the wall -- there is a MORE than significant chance that head coach Ronny Deila will be leaving a vulnerable, post-championship NYCFC to go on that famous European trip for cigarettes. Before his departure is announced, we go back in time to trace the arc from early days to #DeilaOut to the Cinderella championship.
And then: speculation time! Is the call coming from inside the house? And what plans can be made beyond 2022? Are we simply a stepping stone to greatness, or do we deserve a coach willing to make a commitment?? Plus: USMNT recap, including Sean John's outing between the sticks, and the most recent Taty rumors in brief. And then: a crowded upcoming schedule and what to look out for.
And if the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT at the end piqued your interest, you have to wait no longer! Head on over to blueballs.myspreadshirt.com and grab your pod swag for the summer! But make sure you don't get a size too small -- you've got Blue Balls!
Two up, two down, and as your boys in blue extend their unbeaten streak to TEN in all competitions, Jake and Trey are back in the hot seat to piece it apart and put it all back together. A fascinating and dissectible open cup clash with the New England Revs gives us some glimpses of the talent all the way down in NYCFC's much-touted depth, as well as just how different the action is when the real patrons of NYCFC play are placed pleasingly on the pitch. We talk from worst to first, including highly telling performances from Jasson, Gray, Keaton, Santi, Taty, Heber, BARRAZA -- the whole nine yards. And then: the evergreen question, who's getting our Valentin and what are we getting in return? Rumors abound, but do they mean anything or are they so much vapor sizzling on the hot stove? Plus: Trey reminds us there's some big European thing this weekend. And: briefest of precaps before our first outing vs Minnesota in what feels like decades. Throw on your Memorial Day jorts, but be careful -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ya boys are at it again with another double recap -- the pace of play proves simply too much for our hardy little Blue Balls podcast but NOT for the Boys in Blue who bring back six points and +4 GD against Columbus and DC -- and Jake and Trey have the blow-by-blow. We get into the banter -- 195 minutes without a shot on goal, Gloster's latest round of pastries passes and pies, our superstar forwards, our superstar midfielders, our superstar defenders, our superstar GK, and start the whisper campaign nobody in the league is ready to hear: NYCFC's still the best there is.
THEN: Chanot's contracts & corneas, Tinnerholm on the ones and twos, and some mostly-respectful Locker Room Talk. And we can't leave you without talking about upcoming Chicago and looming New England. Is 2022's NYCFC a treble level club? Or are we just taking it one week at a time? Don't strain too hard making up your mind - you've got Blue Balls.
Warning - Pod gets crackly around the 57 minute mark. We don't know why! We were drinking! Sorry!
What’s good Ballers; a soggy nil-nil at Citi Field is our backdrop for this week’s Blue Balls, but before the bummer recap we got u with the 3-0 victory over a crafty but ultimately crackable San Jose and some highlight reel moments for Gloster and Gabriel, not to mention the consistently overperforming Keaton Parks and a little love for pod favorite Santi Rodriguez. And then: why couldn’t we do it again, and what does it say about the team without Taty? Plus, some eurochat! We holla at Haaland as the transfer rumors heat up to a near certainty. And of course, a little precap before we face down the mighty Rochester Rhinos in round 3 of the Open Cup. Adjust your strap and empty that fanny pack - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Folks, it's happening. With eleven goals in two matches, NYCFC is well and truly in MLS, and looking like the craziest mothers in the east by a country mile. Jake & Trey recap the gatling gun warfare of our 5-4 revenge victory over Toronto, talking advanced stats, key performances, and of course, favorite goals. Then: when your 10 could be two, what do you do?!? And a little Cameo Over-Under to take the edge off, before a San Jose precap that promises a potentially third chaotic week!! Did your pen break in your pocket?! Just asking, because you've got Blue Balls.
Back in the hot seat and with a RIOTOUS amount of NYCFC soccer to cover, Trey and Jake begin with a disappointing, if not altogether shocking, 4-2 aggregate fall to a surgical Seattle and their iron curtain keeper. But Seattle can’t take our CONCACAF memories, no matter how they try, and we’ve got a bevy of them - experiments left right and center, visions of the future in Santiagos, Magnos, and Cachas, and more than a few true scorchers.
THEN: you ate your vegetables, it’s time for dessert. Jake and Trey recap the domestic (league) violence of a 6-0 victory over visitors Seattle, breaking records and hearts in a victory that eclipsed even our 5-0 previous outing. Utah hasn’t seen tragedy like this in New York since The Book Of Mormon won the Tony.
AND FINALLY: an over-under game on Cameo, some league and legacy chat, and a quick preview of Bob Bradley’s Big Maddies. Careful when adjusting your antenna - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Blue Ballers, your boys are back at it. An in-person episode has us all hopped up on March Madness and PRO officiating badness, as we recap what we did and didn't see in the Toronto-NYCFC match this weekend, and what it means for the Deilaverse to come as NYCFC attempts a seamless transition into its next era. We chat cakes, rakes, and mistakes; Heber-demption; lynchpins & out-to-lunchers, and of course, the officiating blunder that -- perhaps?! -- cost NYCFC a point or three it deserved.
THEN: What is a penalty anyways? Would a penalty by any other name smell as sweet? AND: the USMNT's Qatar World Cup berth has been secured. What does this group mean for the men under the stars and bars? AND FINALLY: a little pre-CCL chat about easily the toughest opponent NYCFC's faced yet -- the sordid Seattle Sounders. Make sure to sleep on your back, not on your stomach -- you've got Blue Balls.
Did you miss us, podland? Your boys are back and breaking down a banner week of soccer goodness -- from the 0-2 loss in Philly to the debut of NYCFC's very own IIs, to an all-but-clinched World Cup slot for the US Men's National Team (or, as we like to think of them, NYCFC III.
We break down our RB bros' woes, the Cake Boss' first AND second team minutes, the continued struggles of Heber Araujo dos Santos, and of course the boys' biggest, meanest, roughest enemy -- the fatigue of international play. Plus the up-to-the-minute pop-culture soccer analysis you didn't know you needed, and a Toronto preview that'll make you say "...ok?". Make sure your long johns didn't shrink in the wash -- you've got Blue Balls.
The whiplash is real, folks, and so is the travel fatigue. A ferocious NYCFC has its depth tested with yet another double-match week as your Boys in Blue putter home from Connecticut to reopen Yankee Stadium in a friggin blizzard, then fly to the titan-killer Estadio Mateo Flores to wrap up their series against Las Cremas of Guatemala. Do they survive? But barely, and Jake and Trey have the full rundown ready for you!
We talk Talles Magno's ever-increasing minutes and importance, the Jasson Right-Back experiment, second-half struggles, the glorious home goals against Montreal, and of course a Taty free-kick that in one podcaster's opinion may just be the most dazzling NYCFC goal in our eight-season history. PLUS: where is the NYCFC player strategy going, and what does the mystery man standing behind the initials GP tell us about it? AND FINALLY: what's going to happen when NYCFC faces down DOOP nation in Philadelphia this weekend? Hold onto your short & curlies - you've got Blue Balls.
or: Double Recappuchino with extra CONCACAFfeine
Your pigeon-print pals are back with another double-recap as NYCFC continues its dramatic CONCACAF Champions battle to the top, simultaneously with the beginning of its star-blazoned post-cup season of MLS. Jake & Trey hit the sweet & sour notes of a Vancouver match that looked an awful lot like August 2021, then pivot to a Conneticutian "home" match against Guatemalan club Comunicaciones that may have been messier but also ended much more satisfying with a 3-1 first leg lead!
Then: have you ever wanted to hear global geopolitics discussed by porn-addled doomscrolling dipshits? Good news! What about horrific tragedies, at home and abroad? We've got that too! And somehow, we managed to squeeze a teeny tiny Montreal precap for this weekend in. Take out your test-approved no. 2 pencils: you've got Blue Balls.
Was there really ever any doubt? BLUE BALLS returns for a triumphant eighth season as the most reviled officially unofficial podcast in the NYCFC pantheon -- and we're thrilled to be kicking it off with you, our loyal listeners, and some BRAND NEW BRANDING. Give us some love in the reviews if you dig the new lewk!
Jake & Trey break down a disappointing -- but inevitable? -- 1-0 loss away at LA Galaxy, in which NYCFC joined the illustrious ranks of Cup winners unable to secure even a point their first outing back in MLS. We break down the highs and lows, from Keaton Parks to offensive sparks and PRO-Ref sharts.
Then: rumors of an NYCFC women's team abound, and the tea-spiller is none other than CFG head honcho Ferran Sorriano! We break down the future vision for the women's game, plus two new first-team signings born after Hurricane Katrina that make us feel like putting on Matlock and getting sponge-baths. And of course an uber-rushed precap of a fateful match against Vancouver. Don't touch that dial -- it's got something sticky on it, and you've got Blue Balls.
(or: Historic First Drunk Pod Of 2022)
Jake & Trey are back with PART 2 of the offseason recap & predictions for things to come, and I can almost smell the burrito now as the boys get down and dirty with the OVER/UNDERS on NYCFC's eighth season upcoming. We talk months with Taty, goals with Talles, sheets with Sean John, and stadia arcadia to come.
AND: Massive 6-0 victory in CONCACAF Champions. What's it mean? What's coming next? More trade agita. Lineup predictions. A new mid-season theme song. And... merch?!?! They might be worth the wait but they're not worth the weight... you've got Blue Balls.
Lord forgive us, but we're back on our BLUE BALLS. Jake and Trey hop back on the mic to recap a fun-size offseason, complete with a couple fun-size transfer rumors and a brand new defensive DP in one Thiago Martins. Plus: golden boot winner Taty Castellanos is still around! Will the center hold, and what happens when he finally catches the rocket he's been tweeting about?
THEN: New fit alert! Is the new second kit an embarrassing misstep or an extremely dope game changer? And a casual recap of NYCFC's 2022 CONCACAF Champions debut, complete with two for Taty and a goofy ass red card. EMERGENCY WEATHER ALERT: You've got Blue Balls.
Welcome back, Ballers, to the Blue Balls end-of-year combo championship recap / silly season preview SUPERWEEK. Part 2 is here, and so are Jake & Trey, running through trade and acquisition rumors, expansion draft ripples, options exercised and un-, and the City Core Philosophy deep within NYCFC. Plus, everyone’s favorite tradition: SCORING OVER/UNDERS. For arguably the most surprising year in NYCFC’s history? We think we did pretty ok. Inhale hard and hold it in — you’ve got Blue Balls.
Special thanks to all those who supported us this year and in the last 7, especially our generous. You’ve never once given us Blue Balls. Stay tuned — our Balls are only getting bigger next year and there will be more ways to support, play, and listen with your boys in blue. Congratulations, champions!
NYCFC are your 2021 MLS Cup Champions. Is there anything else to say? As your day-one stop for all the stupidest possible NYCFC coverage, you know we're just basking in gratitude and positivity.
JUST KIDDING! So much to talk about here! The atmosphere! The match! The penalties! The afterparty! The club! The narrative! So much that we had to DOUBLE STUF YOUR SEASON WRAP-UP, because there was simply too much to talk about!!!!
We'll never get over this, and we hope you won't either. Thanks for going on the journey of a lifetime with us. Now let's win another.
COYBIB!
OLE OLE OLE OLE // OLE // OLE // After a BRUISING 2021 season, highs and lows, ups and downs, doubts and determinations, injuries and miracles, your NYCFC stood tall on Sunday and secured the EASTERN CONFERENCE TITLE -- someone should probably make sure that brand new silverware doesn't get any pigeon mess on it!! BEENG BONG, Blue Ball bitches! We're here to RECAP IT ALL FOR YOU -- the game-winner from double-sub supercrew Talles Magno and Gudi Thorarrinson, the quick recovery off a BALLSY shot from Chanot delivered by the tiny patriarch Maxi Moralez, even the stumbly fumbly first half that had us all smelling toast and getting numb in the left arm. Jake and Trey are here to break it down -- and what it means for Portland and Golden Boot winner Taty Castellanos' return. PLUS: Jim Curtin's tweetable and shit-eatable snipes, Narrative Narrative Narrative, the Fash question, seat total woes, and of course a preview of our rivals in the West hunting for their second-ever MLS cup. TAKE A DEEP BREATH, Y'ALL. AFTER SEVEN YEARS, WE'RE IN THE MLS FINAL -- AND YOU'VE GOT BLUE BALLS.
The forecast calls for Blues Skies as your Pigeons claim the underdog victory with only ten men against the titans of titans, the New England Revs. A hard fought match which ended in 2-2 draw and a 5-3 win in penalties started chaotic and only went from there, and your boys Jake and Trey dissect every beat of it. Where are the subs? How did our human victory cigar do? Who’s injured and who ain’t? Who failed the discipline test? And of course, how did we capture our first win in penalties in franchise history??
Then: Philly on Sunday. With no MLS-Best-XI Taty Castellanos, what are NYCFC’s attacking options? What if the Sandsman has to take a breather? How will NYCFC win its first conference final? All that and more this week; try to stretch before you freak out, you’ve got Blue Balls.
It's November and MLS playoffs are in full swing -- and none other than the New York City Football Club is on their way to the Eastern Conference Semifinals after a massive 2-0 victory at home against Atlanta. Jake & Trey are here to break it all down for you, including Taty's skipper to open the gates, Rob Vartughian's secret set piece sauce, the gruesome death by suffocation of George Bello, missing (and missed) pigeons on the field, and the Deila mentality at the top of it all. Then: USMNT wins and draws, some offhand Champions chat, and other league action. And finally: can we do it again, but, uh, better? Bruce Arena's titanic New England is waiting for us on the other side of ThanksWeekend and a December game in Massachusetts is no walk in Central Park. Don't move a MUSCLE - you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey are playing the role of MEDIA MOGULS this week at a live press event on a beautiful fall day to mark the 50th community pitch created by the team in the city of New York. We were back in form, baby, talking Ronny D and Jimmy S' ears off, and nabbing a few exclusive minutes with NYCFC head honcho Brad Sims to cap the day off. PLUS: No shortage of soccer talk as we break down an encouraging draw (down a man!) against Jim Curtin's formidable Philly side, discuss Keaton Parks' surprise absence from the playoffs run, and make plans to snuff out Atlanta's flame. Postseason is here, baby, and what good news - you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey break down a road trip to Miami, the Battery Park of America, where your boys in blue secured a key 3 in their pursuit of the best possible playoff berth - and end speculation of their crash out once and for all. Two goals by Taty, a third by Talles, and top notch performances from SJ, Big Bird, and Spider-Man put us back on the MLS map - and put the fear of god in our enemies. We break it all down. THEN: USMNT roster inclusions and omissions! The agony and the ecstasy of Rob Vartughian! And playoff berths - what’s their deal? Plus a Philly preview to clue you in. Get a sleeper car on the Amtrak home - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Four down, one to go as your Boys in Blue head closer and closer to securing a playoff spot after scaring the bejeesus out of what remains of our fanbase - but will it be enough? We're not out of the woods yet, and as JAKE and TREY recap, a 1-0 penalty win against Chicago Fire isn't necessarily enough to inspire the casual confidence of three months ago. We talk Taty action, the Malte-Santi connection, Keaton's simple smooth acumen, and the fatigue on the field. PLUS: Carli Lloyd's last USWNT national game, banner scuffles in the supporters section, and a - MODERATELY - optimistic Inter Milan, er, Miami preview. Check the weather in Florida -- you've got Blue Balls.
Jake & Trey recap the DC game that nobody saw coming, including breakdowns of all six of your favorite goals from the weekend, unpacking the tactical changes, overlaps, Maxi moves and Sands experiments that made it possible. PLUS: What does this mean for the Deila Out clan? What about the rest of the season? Are we winning the cup after all? Or were these half-dozen cracked eggs just a flash in the pan? AND: Two double weeks in rapid succession means a quick and dirty Chicago preview for Wednesday. Don't bother cleaning up - you've got Blue Balls.
Back atcha with a minisode, Jake & Trey break down the squeaker draw against Atlanta and why a set piece goal by Gudi T is actually because of 20 minutes of ambitious play — and why maybe there’s a little, itty, bitty glimmer of hope still left in NYCFC’s campaign. Plus, Emojis: what do they mean? And DC: what can they bring? And guest spots: are they real? Today they are as WILL HAWLEY returns to the pod. Slide into those DMs - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Catastrophe in New Jersey this week as NYCFC go down one-zero to their rivals after two weeks of rest. What's the excuse? How will Ronny's Boys turn this dwindling season around? What can explain the drop-off in form? Your guess is as good as ours, but Jake and Trey break it down. THEN: a USMNT reality check, some key remarks on Tayvon Gray's first start, and handwringing over an ascendant Atlanta. Bad luck, my friend - you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy hoy Blue Ballerinos, Jake and Trey are BACK for a due rumpus. First, recapping the Nashville match and all the ways it was actually kind of good maybe? Then: Tayvon, (more) Deila, and the putrid becomings of management and structure of the NWSL. Finally, some optimism going into the r*d bulls match??? Put your feet up and your flannel down, you've got Blue Balls.
What is there to say. Jake and Trey, 2-0 loss to Chicago. Pack it in, boys - you’ve got Blue Balls.
Spirits rallied, full of pain, your blue ballin' boys are finally ready to talk about who hurt them. One point in two matches against the cross-town rival Red Bulls leaves Jake and Trey with no shortage of things to argue about and no shortage of twitteristas and redditistas to scorn. We talk every inch of this disappointing match, from defensive blunders to midfield... blunders... to... offensive... blunders... and can't help wondering (blundering): are the players to blame?!?
THEN: Sucrose-toed inaugural homeboy RJ ALLEN is retiring from professional soccer! We talk about his time with NYCFC, his career afterwards, and what it means that this kind of American journeyman is less and less among us. PLUS: #RonnyOut? Is it too soon? Is it warranted at all? All that and exactly one thing more: a casual Chicago precap for a match that might need to be decisive. Loosen your laces, baby -- you've got Blue Balls.
PART TWO of our Month-Long Recap starts right here -- and if you haven't hit Part One yet, scroll back in your podcast player and check that one out. Feel free to skip over the Dallas stuff though. Not important why. Jake & Trey break down that frustrating Dallas game in the long shadow of some similarly disappointing play by a team that everyone agrees should be putting up better numbers. The questions, once again: what's going wrong in the defense (a bunch of things), can it be fixed (not by anything except shutting the f*ck up), and should it have been fixed earlier (yes but no)? Also, TALLES MAGNO has his day in the sun, notching a goal and ensuring his name is sealed in the NYCFC Book Of Life -- and HEBER IS BACK, baby! What does it mean? Less than you think. THEN: Man of the Month Taty Castellanos, Chanot's coaching side hustle, and a quick and dirty FC Cincy precap where you can literally hear us googling. Stay out of Trinidad -- you've got Blue Balls.
Would you believe it folks, toppling predictions left and right Jake and Trey RETURN to the Blue Balls hotseats to dissect the last month of NYCFC madness. And madness it is -- your Boys in Blue are here to pick apart not one but TWO matches against New England played across the Northeast - last month's 2-0 victory, and this weekend's 1-2 loss.
THEN: We had no choice. We had to bring it to 'em (Weston McKinney and Gregg Berhalter). We dig into World Cup Qualifiers, the boys who played (James Sands, duh) and the boys who didn't (the aforementioned bubble-breaker). And yeah, maybe we talk some tactics as well. Plus, an FC Dallas precap - as a treat. Dry your eyes -- you've got Blue Balls!
Ahoy Blue Ballers, one and all, and welcome back to a zoom-tastic, special guest having episode for your listening pleasure.
Jake is in La La Land and off the pod while Trey is about to embark on a journey to kidnap, erm, negotiate with Dries Mertens regarding NYCFC's third DP slot. Before his buon viaggio, he is joined via Zoom by stadium news rapscallion Chris Campbell himself, and they chat NYCFC's latest string of draws, Pumas, and Inter Miami. Then, Chris recaps his latest stadium article, teases a set-piece-piece, and the boys wrap up with a poorly researched Philly and R*d Bulls precap.
We'll back back to our normal so-and-so after labor day, and may squeak one in before. We leave you hanging, so aptly, since you've got Blue Balls. (Follow Chris @SoupInNYC27 and The Outfield at theoutfield.substack.com)
Jake & Trey are back in the hot seat and ready to break down the match that brought tears of relief to ten thousand boys in blue -- a glorious 5-0 victory over inaugural season rivals Orlando City SC. We talk all five goals from five power players on the squad, impressive Orlando goalkeeping despite the results, the savvy and sensitive playmaking in the offense, and visions of Oh What Could This Mean for the rest of NYCFC's season. THEN: some quick notes on being at the top of Nate Silver's Magic Table, a little 'lympics chat, and a barely-there preview of (again!?!) Columbus Crew. Make sure to stick the landing - you've got Blue Balls.
Feat. very special guest Tequila Soda. Jake & Trey are back to break down two fierce matches that are about as mid-season as it gets: a ridiculous 2-1 loss to Columbus Crew and a boring but satisfying 1-0 redemption victory over Montreal. We take the occasion to talk Taty, Barraza performances and styles, defensive redemption, high presses and high press resistance, offsides traps, and the ever-reliable nose for the back net of Isi Tajouri-Shradi.
THEN: Some advanced analytics chats, the Sands-storm that's sweeping the nation, and an Ertz-while USWNT stumbles on the way to the Olympics. And finally a touch of precap for a match against Orlando this Sunday (sunday) (sunday) at good old Yankee Stadium. Put one foot in front of the other, but not too quick: you've got Blue Balls.
Ciao Ragazzi, and welcome to another rapturous pod talk with your balls in blue. Jake couldn't make it this time around, so Trey is joined by the ineffable Justin Egan of The Outfield to cover an extensive week plus of soccer news.
First, the boys chat an upsetting occasion against the mystifying men of Montreal, including the side course Alfredo Morales being served as a main dish in the back line. Then, Italy's historic win and England's historic loss, and the Gold Cup featuring a homegrown international debutant James Sands. Finally, what to expect when you're expecting the Columbus Crew (again).
All this and more, so loosen your belt and subscribe to theoutfield.substack.com, you've got Blue Balls.
Your blue balled brothers break down the shock victory against DC United earned by unrelenting, if sometimes boring, pressure. We talk the newbies - Thiago, Talles, and Santi - and the power players pulling the strings. Plus: what do you do with an opportunity like Thiago?
THEN: Euros chat, the Gold Cup roster, and a wink towards the Failing New York Times and their coverage of the stadium push/pull. And finally, a soft preview of next Wednesday's match against Montreal. Lavez-vous la bouche-- you've got Blue Balls.
Or: In Two, The Click Of It;
Your Boys in Blue are back with a double-recap ep on a disappointing 3-2 loss against NE and a dominant 1-0 victory over a visiting Atlanta. Jake & Trey talk the much-discussed performances of Sean Johnson over both these matches, the continuing journey of Taty Castellanos as a target forward, and significant minutes for Talles Magno & Thiago Andrade on the international roster and Andres Jasson & Tayvon Gray on the homefront.
THEN: controversy in the Bronx as the Yankees and Maddd Equities seem to burn some key bridges in the pursuit of a soccer-specific stadium. AND: we talk Trey's Santi Rodriguez article in the Outfield, also published this week. AND FINALLY: just a little precap of our first repeat offender, DC United, set to play Sunday at 6. Be careful with those fireworks - you've got Blue Balls.
Your Boys in Blue are back at it in anticipation of the end of NYCFC's international break. Trey and Jake break down the week's news, including Euros chatter, USMNT ascendant, and of course, the long-awaited, long-expected confirmation of Santi Rodriguez and what it means for the NYCFC roster, top to bottom. THEN: a brief but sharp-eyed preview of how our customary line-up stacks against Bruce Arena's top-of-the-table Revs, and a little further prognostication on the Atlanta United front. Make sure you charged overnight: you've got Blue Balls.
This week it’s nothing but joy on the pod as Trey and Jake ring in a massive 2-1 ten-man victory over Bob Bradley’s LAFC. We break down the Cacha card, first minutes for Talles, Izzy Tajouri-Shradi’s superstar turn as a super-sub, Medina’s continuing form... all the good shit.
Then: Trey basks in the glow of Chelsea’s spot atop the champions league and Jake & Trey break down the competitions to keep eyes on during this international break, including Eurodrama and the US men’s Nacional team. Plus: what our ex girlfriends are up to. We can hear it in your voices and we can feel it in your tweets: you’ve got Blue Balls.
OR
Expecting Goals
Jake & Trey sigh through a second disappointing match recap looking to break down the particulars of a shock 1-2 loss to Columbus Crew. After agreeing there isn't much new to talk about, your Blue Balls boys proceed to talk about it AT LENGTH, breaking down NYCFC's fumbled final third attacks, the return of Maxi Moralez, substitutions, turnovers, plays of beauty and plays of woe. And maybe we talk a little about those two f*cking free kicks as well.
THEN: Some chat about rival stadiums and fan-player relations, the Talles Magno presser and the Brazilian age-to-come, and most importantly, Olivia Rodrigo's new album. Plus a pint-size precap to an LAFC match away that promises white-knuckle moments galore. You ain't seen nothin' yet, folks -- you've got Blue Balls.
We're in it now, Blue Ballers. Jake & Trey, in the shadow of the 1-1 loss against a hobbled Toronto, break down the good the bad and the ugly of a match that, at the end, came down to good old MLS Refball. But we hit all the topics: the Cacha-Keaton dazzlers, the fizzling front, the abuse of Andres Jasson, and a surprisingly firm back line!
THEN: the meat you've been waiting for! Fresh legs are on the field: TALLES MAGNO has signed with the club from Brazil. We talk about how Talles represents exactly the brazilian-aesthetic style of play we've been praising elsewhere in this team, and exactly what expectations Talles is entering to. Plus, our weekly Santi Rodriguez rundown and a five star review of being blacked out at Gudi Thorarrinson's concert in Brooklyn. And of course a slapdash preview of Columbus. You know it, you lust for it, but keep it together -- you've got Blue Balls.
OR: Cacha On The Flip Side; OR: Morales/z Low
Ahoy-hoy, BLUE ballers, we've missed you terribly. Jake and Trey are back and shooting for a regular early-week record to satisfy all your blue-balled needs, starting THIS week, with a recap of the 1-1 CORKER against Orlando City. We knew it was going to be a tough one and our boys in blue did not disappoint, bringing home a point through tremendous team effort - and we cover it all from Cacha rockets to Medina near-misses to Taty shots that left observers praying to an absent God.
THEN: the briefest of talking points to review Gotham FC in the Challenge Cup final, a potentially predictive Chelsea-Man City match, and of course, the massive conglomerate financial group at the heart of NYCFC, Sol Cacao and their brand new small business sponsorship. And finally, a quick and optimistic preview of the 1pm matinee match against Toronto this Saturday. Whistle while you work -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers. We're back for yet another week of NYCFC breakdowns, takedowns, and shakedowns. Trey and Jake recap the highly heartening 2-0 win in Philadelphia, and what it portends for the futures of Taty, Medina, Morales and James Sands, among others.
THEN: the conclusion to the Palmeiras transfer drama, the return of Heber, the incoming arrival of Thiago Andrade, Europe, Gotham, and MORE. And finally, a lightning-fast precap of Saturday's match against perennial rivals Orlando. Call the fire department and have them hose you down -- you've got Blue Balls.
Or: (Ooh! Ahh!) I Wanna Kno-o-ow If You'll Be My GAL; Or: I Bet You Want The Gudis / Got You All Hot & Bothered
Ahoy-hoy, Blue Balls Nation, and welcome to the REAL start of Season Seven -- that loss in DC was just extended preseason and every true soccer fan knows the season only starts when you win a match 5-0 against a hobbled recent expansion team on only set piece goals!!
Trey & Jake break down those five goals, admirably named one through five off the cuff, plus more in-depth analysis of opportunities in wing play, stacking Maxi up front, and the first clean sheet of the season for GK and captain of our hearts Sean Johnson.
THEN: A little discussion of Chris Campbell's bureaucratic bombshell report on stadium movement, and Trey's dissection of Brazilian sport outlets as we try to ascertain just what - if anything - is going to happen to Taty Castellanos! And finally, a sweet little precap of Saturday's match against Philly. The doctor's office is understaffed, so just stay home and drink lots of fluids -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy, Blue Ballers and welcome to Season Seven, proper. After fifteen minutes in heaven followed by 75 minutes in hell, NYCFC began their 2021 campaign with a two-one loss to a messy DC United side -- and your boys are here to break it all down. Jake & Trey talk offensive woes, defensive high points, sub impacts from some exciting new faces, and how to navigate the emotional rollercoasters of early-season matches.
THEN: a review of the Malte Amundsen and Brad Sims press conferences, and an obligatory Super League hot take or two. Plus: a lightning-quick preview of Cincy this weekend. Will our boys be able to give us a happy Home Opener? We'll find out this Saturday. And if you have time before then, throw on the podcast and take a little You time: you've got Blue Balls.
or, Glass Backwards;
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers, and welcome to another blue week in the weirdest NYCFC season in our brief, brief history. Trey and Jake recap TWO matches (okay, one point five) in an effort to explain how a team this rough-and-tumble with this much dysfunction has somehow pulled 13 points out of the last 15. Are the coaches right? Should the world of amateur punditry........ sit on it?
"NO!" Is the resounding cry from those of us who have nothing better to do! Get ready for some standard fare armchair analysis of tactics, psychology, and even the armchair analyst himself. In our Justin Egan corner we chat Tinnerholm's defensive acumen and Ring's hapless comitragic adventures on the wing. Then, some Talking Points and a precap of a New England Match with no Maxi and no Sands -- sounds like we may be in for some roughness. And speaking of Sands, rinse off before you go in the pool -- you've got Blue Balls.
Ahoy-hoy Blue Ballers and welcome to another week of NYCFC. Jake and Trey are full of it this week, chatting a double-recap of the first two matches since the end of the MLS Is Back Challenge and outlining why a 1-0 loss and a 1-0 win didn't actually look that different. Plus: the redemption of Ring, tensions on and off the field, and how NYCFC are creating (or not) meaningful chances. Plus, despite Trey's strong preference, we talk Messi rumors, and then unpack what the general strikes across leagues mean for MLS and specifically NYCFC. Stand in solidarity - you've got Blue Balls.
Salutations Blue Ballers, and welcome back to SOCCER IN THE STATES, from the two boys least likely to be thought of as a Voice For This Era. Jake And Trey recover from a blown precap ep to step up to the plate as we return to a hybrid league-tournament style play that both matters enormously and means absolutely nothing, which is both perfectly safe and a COVID hotbed, and which represents the best or the worst of sports in the United States depending on who you ask. Blue Balls are vast -- we contain multitudes, and we stroke out some of those multitudes on hot-mics from miles apart, breaking down the disappointing but now rather unsurprising one-nil loss to Philadelphia in the opening round of the MLS Is Back Challenge. Then: some talking points on safety, responsibility, tactics, coaching style, and the season ahead. Finally, a precap of a weakened match with Orlando that we have plenty of room to humiliate ourselves against. No need to wait in line at CityMD - you've just got Blue Balls.