Open Adoption Project: Recent Episodes
Lanette & Shaun Nelson
The Open Adoption Project focuses on improving adoptee experiences by encouraging open communication between all members of the adoption triad, nurturing ongoing open adoption relationships and promoting ethical adoption practices.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this conversation, Shaun sits down with adoptee and author Jay Barbanel to explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and healing through adoption.
Jay shares his unique story—from being adopted out of Costa Rica with his brother, to the traumatic separation that followed, to his later-life journey of rediscovering his roots. Through therapy, self-reflection, and a courageous search for answers, Jay reconnects with his biological family and ultimately redefines what “home” means.
This episode offers a nuanced look at adoption as both beautiful and painful, and encourages listeners to embrace the full spectrum of the adoptee experience.
Key Themes & Takeaways
- Adoption is both beautiful and painful It doesn’t have to be one or the other—both can exist together in a healthy, meaningful way.
- Identity is always evolving Jay describes identity as a “revolving door”—something that changes as we choose what to hold onto.
- The importance of owning your story Every adoptee has a right to their full story—even the hard parts.
- Reunion is powerful, but emotionally complex Jay’s search for his biological family was life-changing, but also overwhelming and deeply intense.
- Healing requires openness and support Having safe people (friends, family, therapists) is essential when processing adoption experiences.
- Home is not always a place Home can be people, relationships, or even the understanding you develop of yourself.
About Our Guest
Jay Barbanel is an adoptee, speaker, and author of Finding Tico, a memoir that explores his journey of identity, trauma, and reunion.
Born in Costa Rica and adopted at age 3, Jay spent much of his life believing his adoption story was closed—until adulthood, when unexpected discoveries led him on a powerful search for his roots and reconnection with biological family.
He now shares his story to help others navigate identity, belonging, and personal healing.
Resources
- Finding Tico by Jay Barbanel
- FindingTico.com
In this episode, we hear from Bob Sutherland as he shares his powerful personal story of adoption, identity, and self-discovery. Bob reflects on his challenging upbringing, being raised by a religious Jewish crime family in Brooklyn, and later uncovering his biological roots through DNA testing. He walks us through his journey of becoming a successful creative professional and author, offering insights into resilience and personal growth. The conversation explores themes of family secrets, support systems, and the importance of embracing one’s true identity. Bob’s story highlights the strength it takes to navigate complex family dynamics and the healing that comes from understanding one’s past.
Bob's Book: A Potato in the Bagel Bin Kindle Edition
Download Memoir Here
In this episode, Diane Rosenblum shares her powerful journey of self-discovery, identity, and reconnection. Adopted in 1964 through a closed adoption, Diane shares how she uncovered her biological roots decades later through DNA testing and genealogical research. Her story touches on the emotional complexities of adoption, heartbreak, the healing power of art, and the importance of open communication and therapy in the adoption process.
Diane discussed the impact of closed adoptions, the trauma adoptees often face, and the transformative experience of reconnecting with biological family. Diane’s journey led her to her birth father, a fellow artist, and inspired a stunning collection of DNA-based paintings that reflect her evolving sense of identity.
🔗 Resources & Links:
- View Diane’s DNA paintings:
- Instagram: @dianerosenblum
In this episode, Edward Di Gangi recounts discovering his adoption status through personal documents and later reconnecting with his biological family. He shares a private adoption story, shaped by specific requirements, and a surprising discovery about his birth mother—a celebrity ice skater in the 1940s. Reflections on the emotional layers of adoption, including secrecy, identity, and the importance of open communication. Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all experience. This episode invites listeners to consider the importance of empathy, openness, and support for all voices in the adoption community.
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Best-Given-Memoir/dp/1734757205
Emma opens up about her adoption story, growing up with loving parents who were transparent about the process. Her journey took a surprising turn when an Ancestry DNA test revealed her Jewish heritage, eventually leading to a heartfelt connection with her birth father. Emma reflects on how adoption shaped her identity, her sense of belonging, and her gratitude for life’s unique perspective. She candidly shares the joys and challenges of adoption, emphasizing the importance of open communication and support within the adoption community. For prospective adoptive parents, Emma offers wise advice: approach adoption with humility and a readiness to meet the child’s individual needs.
This National Adoption Month Book Club episode dives into the shocking true story of Georgia Tann, a once-celebrated American adoption pioneer who was, in fact, a baby trafficker. This book, written by Journalist Barbara Raymond, who uncovered this dark history, shares how Tann’s legacy continues to influence adoption laws and practices. We discuss Raymond’s book, “The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption,” with adoptee Heather Rodriguez. Tann operated in Memphis from 1924 to 1950, and stole thousands of children—many from poor or unwed mothers—and sold them to wealthy families, all while being protected by powerful political allies. Her actions helped shape modern American adoption, introducing secrecy and falsified records that still impact adoptees today.
In this special book club episode, we’re joined by adoptee Anna Lehnardt to discuss All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung—a powerful memoir about transracial adoption, identity, and the search for belonging. We explore themes of race, family, and truth as Nicole retraces her roots and confronts the myths she was told about her adoption. Anna offers her personal insights as an adoptee, and together we reflect on the emotional impact of Chung’s story and its relevance to the broader adoption community.
Email Anna at: adoptionliterate@gmail.com
In this episode, Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent, returns to the podcast, sharing her unique perspective from two sides of the adoption journey. She discusses her upcoming children’s books, which aim to offer authentic and balanced narratives for adoptees—especially those in LGBTQ+ families. Our conversation explores the representation of adoption in media, including books, movies, and television, and highlights the importance of creating sensitive, accurate content that resonates with and supports adoptees and children.
Visit her website here: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/
Visit her blogs here: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs
In this episode with Dawn J. Post, a New York City–based children’s rights attorney, we talk about her work addressing critical issues within the adoption system—particularly broken adoptions and the warehousing of children in unregulated facilities. Dawn shares about the tragedy that inspired her to become an advocate for youth and how that led to the founding of Themis Youth Law and Advocacy. Our conversation explores the systemic failures impacting abandoned adoptees, including the lack of support systems, unmet educational needs, and the consequences of unethical adoption practices. Dawn underscores the urgent need for stronger oversight, improved screening processes, and greater protections for vulnerable youth.
https://www.themisyouthlawadvocacy.org/
https://www.instagram.com/dawnjpostesq/#
In this episode, we sit down with Janelle Basham, Executive Director of BraveLove. Janelle shares her personal journey as a birth mother, beginning at age 17 and leading to her current role with BraveLove. She reflects on the evolving identity of birth mothers, the importance of community and therapy, and the need for greater empathy and support in adoption spaces. Janelle highlights Brave Love’s initiatives, including birth mother dinners and hospital tote programs, and emphasizes the power of storytelling in changing public perceptions. The episode closes with a call to amplify diverse voices in adoption and foster deeper understanding between birth and adoptive families.
Maryalice's Story: https://www.bravelove.org/stories/maryalices-story/
In this episode, we sit down with Anna Lehnardt, an international adoptee, to learn about the personal and emotional challenges from her experience of growing up in a family across borders. From navigating identity to facing the complexities of belonging, this conversation sheds light on the realities of international adoption.
In 2019, when Beth Syverson's adopted son Joey was 15, he was hospitalized with a mental health crisis. While there, Beth discovered he had been using cannabis, psychedelics, and more. It has been a sometimes-excruciating marathon since then, with runaways, overdoses, psych hospitals and treatment centers, relapses, suicidal ideation, and anxiety & depression. But Beth's family is now on a healing journey, and they are committed to walking beside each other with positive and compassionate relationships, no matter what. Beth has discovered that Joey’s relinquishment trauma from his inter-country adoption at 7 months old is one of his core issues.
Beth wants to help other families struggling with adoption, addiction, mental health, and diversity. Join her in this heartfelt episode where we sit down with Beth Syverson, the author of Adoption and Suicide. Beth shares her deeply personal journey, discussing the sensitive topics of suicide and suicidal ideation. We advise listeners to approach this episode with care. Beth's son, Joey, who has faced his own struggles, is still with us and fully supports his mom in sharing their story. Join us for this important conversation that sheds light on these critical issues.
If you or someone that you know is struggling with suicidal ideation, please call 988.
https://unravelingadoption.com/
https://www.instagram.com/unravelingadoption/
Linda R. Sexton shares her experiences and insights regarding open adoption, including the challenges and benefits involved. She also discusses the importance of prioritizing the child's needs, maintaining open communication with birth parents, and the potential for intergenerational trauma to impact adoptees.
Additionally, Linda shares about her book, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir and about her open adoption journey.
Birth mom, Sara Jane, returns to the podcast with her daughter, Courtney, who she placed for adoption, and Courtney's adoptive mom, Jeanette. We get to hear thoughts from these three women who are from different parts of the adoption triad, and who have all become family. They share what open adoption looks like for them and how their relationships and understandings of openness have evolved over time. We wish you all a peaceful holiday season, and will return with more episodes after the new year.
Anna Lehnardt, a Chinese-born adoptee, shares her experience and thoughts after reading "Selling Transracial Adoption" by Elizabeth Raleigh. She shares some of her own experiences as a transracial adoptee and thoughts on how policy and practice can be improved to focus more on adoptees rather than adoptive parents.
Sharolyn Swenson, an adoptee, joins our special NAM book club episode to discuss Christina Baker Kline’s book “Orphan Train.” If you haven’t read the book yet, please skip this episode to avoid potential spoilers. Sharolyn shares her thoughts and insights after reading the novel. Lanette and Sharolyn delve into the book’s portrayal of adoption and foster care, as well as the historical context of the orphan train movement. They also explore the characters of Vivian and Molly and their struggles with identity, as well as the complexities of adoption and the mother-daughter relationship. Sharolyn shares her personal experience of discovering her Jewish heritage, and Lanette recommends “Orphan Train Rider” by Andrea Warren as a more historically accurate account of the orphan train phenomenon. If you’d like to join the conversation about this book, head over to our social media pages. We welcome your thoughts and discussions.
An adoptee shares her personal journey of adoption and the impact of the book, "The Girls Who Went Away," by Ann Fessler, also an adoptee, in this special NAM book club episode.
"The Girls Who Went Away" is a memoir/biography about mothers who relinquished their children for adoption before Roe v. Wade on her perspective towards his birth mother, leading him to search for her. The adoptee discussion leader in this episode discussed the evolution of adoption practices, the challenges faced by birth mothers in the past, and the importance of open adoption and transparency.
Adoptee Devanie Roberts discusses the book "Far from the Tree" by Robin Benway in this special National Adoption Month book club episode. Please do not listen to these episodes if you have not read these books and do not want to potentially hear spoilers. "Far From the Tree" is discussed through lenses of adoption, and Devanie shares her thoughts after reading it. If you would like to join the conversation about this book, head over to our social media pages. We welcome your thoughts.
Dr. Jeff Thompson discusses how we can establish and maintain psychological safety within relationships. He shares how active listening can enhance connections. We also discuss how to address conflict and find resolutions. This episode offers incredibly valuable insights for anyone looking to improve important relationships, both within the adoption community and beyond.
In our last episode, we discussed Family Communication Patterns Theory (FCPT), which describes how families communicate and create a shared social reality. The theory was developed by Koerner and Fitzpatrick in 2002. In this episode, we discuss how FCPT and how families can improve and enrich communication, applying Dr. Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory, and discussing additional thoughts on how families can evaluate and improve communication patterns.
In this episode, Shaun and Lanette discuss the Family Communication Pattern Theory, by McLeod and Chaffee, and its adoption application. focusing on conformity and conversation orientation, and how these patterns can impact families, particularly in the context of adoption. They analyzed various family dynamics portrayed in movies and TV shows, identifying different communication patterns and their implications. Family Communication Patterns help us understand how childhood family structure impacts adulthood. The model suggests that families fall into four patterns, which vary in degrees of conformity and conversation. The importance of balance in family communication patterns and the need for open dialogue, and the potential influence of parenting styles on children is discussed.
Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. Dr. Rowley's book, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, was published by Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023. With his background as a psychotherapist and educator, his interest in Jungian psychology and Zen Buddhism, Dr. Rowley discusses what fundamental core experiences adoptees share, how the adopted child reckons with the paradox of a comfortable upbringing and a powerful emotional loss, and how early childhood wounds result in “primitive agonies” that cause disproportionate emotional reactions. He also discusses what relational complexities are especially inherent to most, if not all, adoptees. Learn more at stephenrowley108.com/memoir/.
We also share information about the First Families Project, researching birth mother experiences. To learn more about this research go to https://linktr.ee/first.families.project
Amy Seek shares her experiences with adoption as a birth mom, and how her relationship with her son has evolved. She shares about the importance of transparency and honesty in open adoption conversations and the need for improved ethical practices as we strive to better support mothers and their children.
Amy’s book “God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birthmother”
Other Resources:
Concerned United Birthparents
Saving our Sisters
NAAP First Families support group
Donor Conceived Best Practices and Connections
Right to Know
Untangling Our Roots, an annual summit of adoptees and DCP providing education around best practices for the affected people
Open Adoption: Not so Simple Math
You can reach Amy at amyseek@concernedunitedbirthparents.org
Adoptee Lexi Condie shares her experience in this touching episode. Lexi was adopted by Aymee and Reed at age 8 along with her older brother Tyler, who was the son of Reed. Aymee and Reed decided it would be best to let Lexi and Tyler stay in contact with their mother (Stevoni), who was in prison at that time. Over the years Lexi developed a fantastic relationship with Stevoni. Lexi has always been able to lean on her adoptive parents. Lexi is currently working toward her Certified Welding Inspector certification and starting her own business. Lexi loves her career and is working towards making her life her own again. Be sure to listen to our episode with Lexi's mothers, Aymee and Stevoni, for more about how uniting adoptive and biological families in efforts to love and support adoptees can impact lives.
In this episode, we learn about the experience of foster care alumni Cadon Riley, including his experience being adopted and later returning to the foster care system. Cadon and Shaun discuss some of the challenges Cadon has experienced, and his hopes for how our community can improve experiences for other youth in care and in need of support. Cadon Riley is a Foster Care & Child Welfare Advocate. Cadon was adopted at birth into a transracial family. At the age of 15 Cadon was placed back into the foster care system, aging out at 18. Cadon made it his goal to become an advocate to help others from similar backgrounds. Cadon is currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Psychology from Utah Tech University, intending to obtain his Ph.D. in Clinical Neuropsychology. Cadon’s continuous advocacy has landed him the opportunity to speak on Capitol Hill and become a Congressional Leadership Academy Delegate with the National Foster Youth Institute. Cadon’s extensive involvement in local and national advocacy aims to improve and inform the child welfare system through the power of lived experience.
Kaira Dark is a birth mom who placed her son for adoption about 20 years ago. The adoption began as semi-open, and became open later. Kaira shares about her struggles with the trauma she experienced and how her experiences and perceptions have shifted over time. We love hearing from birth moms and really enjoyed learning from Karia's experiences.
In this episode, Lanette and Alisha discuss establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, both in open adoptions and when caring for children in foster care. We address some frequently asked questions regarding this subject, including how to create healthy communication patterns and how to mediate challenging situations.
There are two kinds of openness in adoption—structural and communicative. Both are important in supporting identity and development of adopted individuals, as supported by academic research. We discuss the differences between structural and communicative openness and tips for adoptive parents for practicing openness in a more adoptee-centered way. This episode is part of our series where we discuss frequently asked questions regarding open adoption. We address many of the fears adoptive parents might voice as they consider openness in this discussion.
Learn more in The Openness Guide for Prospective Adoptive Parents: What You Should Know About Open Adoption
Sources:
Brodzinsky, D.M. (2005). Reconceptualizing openness in adoption: Implications for theory,
research, and practice. In D.M. Brodzinsky & J. Palacios (Eds.), Psychological issues in adoption: Research and practice (pp. 145-166). Praeger.
Brodzinsky, D. (2006). Family structural openness and communication openness as predictors in the adjustment of adopted children. Adoption quarterly, 9(4), 1-18.
Brodzinsky, D. (2015). Understanding and treating adoptive families. Contemporary families: Translating research into practice, 35-52.
Berge, J. M., Green, K. M., Grotevant, H. D., & McRoy, R. G. (2006). Adolescent sibling narratives regarding contact in adoption. Adoption Quarterly, 9(2-3), 81-103.
Grotevant, H. D. (2020). Open adoption. The Routledge handbook of adoption, 266-277.
Grotevant, H. D., McRoy, R. G., Elde, C. L., & Fravel, D. L. (1994). Adoptive family system dynamics: Variations by level of openness in the adoption. Family process, 33(2), 125-146.
Grotevant, H. D., & McDermott, J. M. (2014). Adoption: Biological and social processes linked to adaptation. Annual review of psychology, 65, 235-265.
Grotevant, H. D., Wrobel, G. M., Fiorenzo, L., Lo, A. Y., & McRoy, R. G. (2019). Trajectories of birth family contact in domestic adoptions. Journal of Family Psychology, 33(1), 54.
Neil, E. “Making sense of adoption: Integration and differentiation from the perspective of adopted children in middle childhood.” Children and Youth Services Review 34, no. 2 (2012): 409-416.
Neil, E., Beek, M., & Ward, E. (2015). Contact after adoption: A longitudinal study of post adoption contact arrangements. Coram BAAF.
Wolfgram, S. (2008). Openness in adoption: What we know so far—A critical review of the literature. Social Work, 53(2), 133-142.
Wrobel, G. M., Ayers-Lopez, S., Grotevant, H. D., McRoy, R. G., & Friedrick, M. (1996,
October). Openness in adoption and the level of child participation. Child
Development, 67(5), 2358.
Wrobel, G. M., Kohler, J. K., Grotevant, H. D., & McRoy, R. G. (2003, October 1). The Family
Adoption Communication (FAC) model. Adoption Quarterly, 7(2), 53–84.
Scherman, R. (2016). Openness and intercountry adoption in New Zealand. In Intercountry Adoption (pp. 309-318). Routledge.
Vandivere, S., Malm, K., & Radel, L. (2009). Adoption USA: A chartbook based on the 2007 National Survey of Adoptive Parents. US Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation.
MacDonald, M., & McSherry, D. (2011). Open Adoption: Adoptive Parents’ Experiences of Birth Family Contact and Talking to Their Child about Adoption. Adoption & Fostering, 35(3), 4-16.
Christelle Pellecuer returns to the podcast to discuss some tough questions and challenging aspects of adoption, particularly transracial and international adoption, in this episode. She discusses the importance of honesty and transparency in adoption. She also considers what potential impacts of a lack of structural and communication openness may be in her adoption experience. Christelle shared her story in Episode 88 of the podcast. We recommend listening to that episode before this one for more context.
Find our ebook at https://openadoption.gumroad.com/l/opa use code launchOAP for 25% off until April 18th, 2024.
Cultivating and nurturing any relationship takes work and dedication. Relationships in open adoption are sometimes hard to maintain. In this episode, we discuss some questions we’re asked frequently regarding how to move forward in adoption relationships when things get complicated, and considerations when trying to choose a path forward. In particular, we discuss how respect and communication factor into forging stronger relationships.
We wrap up National Adoption Month with a discussion about disenfranchised grief and some highlights and lessons learned during 100 episodes of the Open Adoption Project podcast (so far). Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not recognized as valid by society, and is prevalently experienced in the adoption community. We talk about how those who adopt can better understand grief experienced by adopted people and first parents, and how this understanding can counter shame and create stronger bonds. We also share what our most downloaded episode is, and a handful of some of the most impactful interviews we’ve done since starting the show in 2021. We’ll be back in the new year with our fifth season. Happy Holidays and thanks for learning with us!
In this episode we introduce a discussion and questions regarding the similarities and differences between embryo adoption and traditional adoption. A guest couple shares their experience with embryo adoption. We share results from a small survey we posted on our instagram about embryo adoption, and discuss the section on embryo adoption from “The Adoption Constellation” by Dr. Michael Grand as well as an article from European Child and Psychiatry.
Julie was adopted as an infant with her twin sister. In this episode she shares how medical issues pushed her to connect with her birth family nearly 50 years after being adopted. She writes extensively about finding out who you are, where you belong, and making sense of it. Julie’s debut memoir, “Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging” (2021) is the story of her five-year search for birth relatives. Her weekly blogs That Girl, This Life and monthly column at The Beacher focus on identity, family, and life’s quirky moments. Her follow up book, “Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family & Kinship” was released this month. In this episode, she discusses adoption, adversity, abandonment, and developing identity as an adoptee.
When we recently discussed orphan trains, one thing that stood out to us was that the policies and practices during this time were adoptive parent-focused. This problem persisted over time, like during the Baby Scoop Era. In this episode, we discuss why this focus on adopters is problematic, and actionable ways adoptive parents can shift the focus in the adoption community toward adoptees and biological parents.
In this National Adoption Awareness Month special, we hear adoptee Sara Odicio, LSW, of Core of Adoption. She talks about ruptured attachments. We then discuss some of Dr. Bruce D. Perry’s research on child attachment and development, and eight ways caretakers can help nurture children who struggle with secure attachments. We reference two articles by Dr. Perry called “Examining child maltreatment through a neurodevelopmental lens: clinical application of the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics” (2009) and "Bonding and Attachment in Maltreated Children Consequences of Emotional Neglect in Childhood" (2001).
For more about how to nurture children experiencing ruptured attachments, and for more information on some of Dr. Perry’s work, go to ChildTrama.org and bdperry.com.
In this National Adoption Awareness Month special, we hear from four adoptees—Melaina, Sara, DaKota, and Jori—and some things each of them want people to understand about being adopted.
Foster care trainer with Utah Foster Care Liz Rivera shares her thoughts on openness in foster care situations. She discusses the importance of prioritizing meaningful relationships for children in care and honoring children's roots.
In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, we hear from Leah Outten, a birth mom who consults with prospective adoptive parents, about her top tips for building an adoption profile with expectant parents in mind.
Sara Jane Schenk is a birth mom of about 16 years and has had a very open adoption the entire time. She talks about the importance of communication within the adoption community, destigmatizing adoption, and the supporting village that helped her through placement.
In this episode, foster care trainer Liz Rivera shares key takeaways from the book, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her experience working at Utah Foster Care for more than 2 decades shines in this conversation about childhood trauma and finding peace and healing.
In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, our Director of Communications, Alisha Gallagher, interviews Anna Maria DiDio, an author and adoptive parent. Anna Maria shares her experience of realizing the importance of nurturing cultural connections and helping individuals who were adopted preserve their cultural identities.
This episode dives into the history of orphan trains in the United States. The orphan trains operated from 1854 through 1929, relocating from about 200,000 children. In this episode, we discuss the orphan train using accounts from a historical nonfiction book called “Orphan Train Rider” by Andrea Warren. This book primarily follows the memories of Lee Nailling, who rode an orphan train in 1926 as a nine-year-old child. In this episode, we discuss some long-term impacts of orphan trains and the policies implemented during this era. We also discuss how openness, honesty, and connecting to roots can make a difference in the lives of individuals who experience adoption.
Christelle was adopted at 10 year old from Madagascar to France after her mother passed away. She shares about her experience as a black adoptee growing up in a white community, about the challenges of being an International adoptee with very little knowledge about her story, and the cultural changes in her life. Learn more on her website christellepellecuer.com
In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, we hear from Leah Outten, a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption as a teenage mother, and maintained a very open adoption throughout her daughter’s childhood and on into adulthood.
In this episode we recap the third season of the show, remembering some experiences we heard about regarding open adoption over the past 15 months and discussing how the adoption community can better support adoptees and birth parents through openness in both adoption and dialogues.
Doctor Abbie Goldberg is a professor at Clark University in Massachusetts. As a professor of psychology, her research regarding adoptive and diverse families, open adoption, transracial adoption, and foster care have immense importance in the adoption community. In this episode, she shares pieces of her extensive knowledge, including the importance of both structural and communicative openness. She also discusses the importance of accepting and embracing the uniqueness of the children in our families.
Stevoni Doyle and Aymee Condie are mothers connected initially through shared love for their children. In this episode, these strong women share their story, beginning with Stevoni’s children being cared for by Aymee. Over the years, they have built a beautiful family and strong friendship, where they support one another in their roles as mothers. This episode discusses the challenges of foster care, drug addiction, and maintaining connections, as well as the power of vulnerability, forgiveness, trust, and supporting one another with love and understanding, particularly in regards to parenting children in foster and adoption situations.
In this episode we hear from Robert Reese. Robert was adopted from South Korea as an infant, and was raised in the United States. When he was 16, he began searching for his birth mom. He shares what searching was like for him, and how his adoptive parents supported him in that endeavor. He also discusses racial and cultural mirrors and thoughts regarding how the adoption community can support adoptees in their different experiences.
In this episode, we hear from Professor Michael Grand, the father of the term “adoption constellation.” Professor Grand shares highlights from his academic career as a psychology professor in and researcher who spent years studying a myriad of aspects relating to adoption. He discusses his professional research and his personal experience as a step-adoptee, and the importance of openness and connection. He also discusses the importance of adoptees’ constellations, including grandparents, friends, ecclesiastic leaders, and others who impact adoptee perspectives and identities. Professor Grand’s book, “The Adoption Constellation,” is available on Amazon.
Joanna Pace, a teacher and adoptive parent, shares lessons she’s learned about helping children set boundaries, and what led her to write the “Setting Boundaries” song with her musician husband and partner at Hopscotch Songs. She talks about how parents can help children advocate for their safety and why boundaries matter, both in the adoption world and beyond.
Adoptee Allison Olson, author of the children’s book “Surrounded by Love,” discusses the impact of the “lucky adoptee” narrative and adoptee wellness. The vast spectrum of what “open adoption” means and how openness impacts experiences across the adoption constellation are subjects Allison is well-versed in. She discusses the importance of adoptee access to their own original birth certificates, the differences she’s seen on adoptee wellness when open adoption is practiced. Allison is now also an adoptive parent and shares how her experience as an adoptee impacted that journey as well. Follow her on social media @kidsbooksbyallisonolson, find her book on Amazon, and visit her website ouradoptionbooks.com
In this episode we hear from Eileen Skahill, an adoptee and academic who studies adoption. She shares her experiences and perspectives and also discusses a current research project she’s working on.
Are you and adoptee that is interested in participating in Eileen's current research? If so, please contact her at eskahill@uccs.edu
Lauren Eisenhauer is a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption 18 years ago, and maintained contact throughout her daughter’s childhood. She talks about her experience choosing adoption as a teenager, and what that looked like, including naming her daughter with the adoptive parents and making choices about what she wanted things to look like. She talks about shame and stigma as well as the importance of therapy. She shares thoughts on open adoption relationships transitioning into adulthood as well.
Patrick Hawes, an adoptee raised in a multicultural home, shares his experience being adopted as an infant and reuniting with his biological mom later in life. He shares different struggles that came with not talking about adoption in the home and the healing that came with finding his family.
Sign up for our newsletter here, apply for free assistance using DNA to find your biological family here.
In this episode, we discuss some of the complexities of adoptee reunion with Heather Rodriguez. Heather Rodriguez is an adoptee as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She shares raw experiences and emotions from her reunion experiences and her thoughts on adoptees’ need to connect with and understand their ancestry.
In this episode, we hear thoughts about searching for one’s biological family from five adoptees– Sara Odacio, John Saintignon, Amanda Justice, Devanie Roberts, and Amy Wilkerson– including thoughts on preparing for potential outcomes, support, self-care, and connecting. Devanie Roberts, an adoptee who we talked to on the show in March, is going to select a few adoptees to help in the search for their biological families for upcoming episodes. If you know of someone who would like to apply to be one of the adoptees she helps on our show, click here. A link to a study cited in the episode can be found here. Also, if you’re interested, sign up for our monthly newsletter here.
Ellie Wynn was adopted at birth and reconnected with her biological family at 14 years old. In this episode, Ellie shares her personal experiences as an adoptee, the benefits of having an open adoption, and experiences to help the community better understand the nuances of open adoption.
In this episode, we hear from Brady Murray of RODS Heroes, a nonprofit organization aspiring to give voices to children in foster homes and institutions in international countries. Brady and his wife Andrea became parents of a son with Down syndrome in 2007. Over the following months and years, they discovered what a blessing it is to experience life with someone who has Down syndrome. When Brady and Andrea learned it is common practice in many countries for special needs children to be abandoned and generally placed in orphanages, and then when reaching age five or six are usually transferred to adult mental institutions, where many die within just a few months, the couple felt moved to act. They founded RODS (Racing for Orphans with Down Syndrome), and now focus on sharing voices of children and helping them join families with grants. RODS Heroes’ ultimate vision for the future is that families, communities, and nations will see the light that individuals with special abilities have, and will choose to keep these children and allow them to thrive in their home communities. Their current goal is to help children find loving homes where they can thrive and achieve their potential.
Devanie grew up in a very open adoption during a time when open adoption was so rare, a local news station in California, where she grew up, did a special about her open adoption when she was a baby. While she grew up with a very open adoption and visited her biological mother and her side of the family, Devanie did not know her biological father as a child. Devanie loves family history, and shares how she used Genetic Genealogy to search for her biological father as she grew older. She also talks about the struggles of experiencing infertility as an adoptee, transparency, trust, support in adoption, and the self-confidence she feels her open adoption instilled in her.
Sara was adopted at birth during a time when open adoption was nearly unheard of, but she grew up in a very open adoption. In today’s episode, she shares her thoughts regarding her experiences, talking about many of the complexities of adoption and relationships. She talks about creating psychological safety for individuals to share their feelings openly, and the importance of truly listening to these individuals with the goal of learning. She also discusses how her thoughts have evolved as she came to adopt her second child.
Sara was adopted at birth during a time when open adoption was nearly unheard of, but she grew up in a very open adoption. In today’s episode, she shares her thoughts regarding her experiences, talking about many of the complexities of adoption and relationships. She talks about creating psychological safety for individuals to share their feelings openly, and the importance of truly listening to these individuals with the goal of learning. She also discusses how her thoughts have evolved as she came to adopt her second child.
We continue our Adoption in the Media series in this episode, where foster parents Alisha and Shane lead a discussion of themes in the movie “Instant Family.” They answer questions from listeners regarding expectations and realities of being foster care providers, and discuss how supporting and continuing relationships with first families enriches the lives of the children they care for.
“Goodbye Again” author Candace Cahill shares her story of placing her son for adoption, reuniting with him 18 years later, and then tragically losing him again shortly after. She shares how she and the adoptive father of her son have grieved and supported each other together since her son’s passing, and how their relationship has supported them both through immense struggles. She talks about the complex emotions of adoption, and the elements of coercion, deceit, secrecy, and money that taint it.
What does open adoption look like in practice? What are some of the challenges for adoptees, biological, and adoptive family members in these relationships? How can parents (both adoptive and biological) build better relationships with and for their children? We include thoughts from adult adoptees who grew up in both open and closed adoptions.
If you’re new to our podcast, this is a great place to start! In this episode, we discuss what open adoption is, why it matters, and what we can do to build better open adoption relationships with the ultimate goal of empowering adoptees with a more complete portrait of their identity. We discuss answers to listener-submitted questions, like whether it’s possible to have too much openness, and how to navigate fears and insecurities.
Coach John Saintignon shares his story and perspectives on the podcast this week. John is an adoptee who was born in Mexico and raised in Arizona. Basketball has been part of his life since he was a child.
He was the leading scorer in country when playing college basketball, and went on to play professionally. He currently lives in Japan where he coaches basketball. In John’s discussion with Shaun, John shares about his search for his bio family starting when he was 50 years old and his reunion experience. He talks about how one can’t understand someone else’s perspective unless they are that person, and the importance of staying away from judgement and asking questions for understanding instead. We’re so excited to share his perspective and story with you. This is a phenomenal episode, give it a listen!
Connect with John on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn
We are excited to introduce a new, special “Adoption in the Media” series on the podcast. In this episode we host a live discussion led by our friend, adoptee Melaina Rogers. We're starting the series off with a holiday-themed discussion, about the movie "Elf" and the portrayal of adoption in that film. Questions and themes discussed include submissions from our listeners and Instagram followers. We’ll post about our next Adoption in Media recording at openadoptionproject.org. Happy holidays from the Open Adoption Project!
Chilean adoptee Amy Wilkerson, LCSW, shares her adoption story in this episode. Amy was adopted as an infant by a family in the United States, and, uniquely, was able to reconnect with her biological family as a teenager. She shares the struggles of balancing honoring and remembering culture in adoption, including her biological heritage as a Chilean and her adopted heritage being raised in a Jewish family.
Amy Wilkerson is a therapist and social worker who wrote the book “Being Adopted” to help adoptive families discuss adoption with adoptees in a way that empowers kids to share their feelings and feel psychological safety. “Being Adopted” was written for younger adoptees of any background, and outlines adoption experiences aimed at helping adoptees process and reflect on their individual circumstances and emotions. This book offers an opportunity for adoptees to normalize thoughts and feelings. Additionally, this book comes with a guide for caregivers to adopted children. You can find Amy at growhealblossom.com or check out her new podcast Adoptees Dish.
This week we're excited to share another adoptee voice on the podcast. Amanda Justice, a Black adoptee, was adopted by a white family at three days old in a closed adoption. Amanda coaches adoptive families through transracial adoption scenarios and the importance of racial identity for adoptees in particular.
Of adopting children of different races than the adoptive family, Amanda says: "It’s not for everyone. It’s going to take commitment and constant learning. If you are not willing to learn about new things and keep an open mind you can do more damage to your child than you think."
Amanda reminds us all that adoptees are the experts in adoption, and challenges listeners to keep listening and learning from adoptees. This is such important advice, and is really at the heart of why we do this podcast! We're so grateful for Amanda and the other adoptees who share with us.
Learn more about what Amanda is doing on Instagram @blackgrilwhitefamily or by visiting her website, blackgirlwhitefamily.com.
In this episode, we hear from author and award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki. Erika is a professor in the Literary Journalism Department at the University of California, Irvine.
Five years ago, Erika learned about Isabella and Hà, identical twins who were born in 1998 in Nha Trang, Việt Nam, where their first mother struggled to care for them. Isabella (initially named Loan) was taken to an orphanage where an American family adopted her. Hà, the other twin, was deemed too sickly for the orphanage. She was taken in by her biological aunt and her aunt's partner, and grew up in rural Việt Nam. After Isabella’s adoptive mother learned about Hà, she was determined to reunite the sisters.
Since learning about these twin sisters who were adopted by different families, Erika has been researching and interviewing to prepare this book, ”SOMEWHERE SISTERS: A Story of Adoption, Identity, and the Meaning of Family" which was recently published. In this interview, some of the things Erika discusses include the future of adoption post-Roe v. Wade, adoptee citizenship legal issues, how adoptee experiences fit into a complex understanding of Asian American identity, the history of adoption in the U.S. and transnational, adoptee experiences in the age of anti-Asian hate.
Dr. Christina Reese and Elaine Shenk share thoughts regarding transitioning into adulthood for adult adoptees. In this interview, the two share their advice for adoptees and adoptive parents as they discuss trauma and how to work through challenging transitions. Learn more in their new book, "Leveling Up: Adoptive Parents and Adult Adoptees: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level," a book geared toward Christian adoptive families, available October 20, 2022. Find it at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.
In this episode, we learn from a Peruvian indigenous adoptee. Maria Trimble is a licensed mental health counselor and a licensed professional counselor. In this interview, she talks about the trauma experienced by adoptees when transitioning into new cultures, languages, and families, and ways that therapy can bring healing and understanding during these transitions.
Maria’s website for her online therapy services for adults and adolescents is hikingtheheart.com. She specializes in adoptee counseling and support, post-adoption services, and consultations for adoptive parents and professionals.
Jamie Weiss shares some of her experiences as an adoptee in the 1970s, growing up in a closed adoption, never having conversations at home about adoption. She shares thoughts about her reunion experience and adoptee trauma. Jamie works with the Georgia Alliance for Adoptee Rights. You can also follow her adoption education efforts at signedsealedadopted.com. She and a fellow-adoptee just launched a podcast where they discuss children’s books from adoptee perspectives called Adoption Rewritten.
In this episode we discuss the history of different schools of thought regarding adoption language, including Positive Adoption Language and Honest Adoption Language. We also talk about following the adoptees’ leads and giving thought to circumstances. Words matter! Adoptive parents need to be cognizant of the preferred language of adoptees and biological parents in their lives. We advocate for adoptee-focused language. We discuss the need to focus our adoption language on adoptees and their preferences rather than on others in the adoption community. The tricky thing about this topic is that every adoptee is going to feel differently. As a community, we need to do better at listening to and respecting the needs of biological parents and, most of all, adoptees.
Sara, a Chinese-born adoptee who was raised in Pennsylvania, is now a social worker who coaches teenage adoptees. In this episode, she shares her story and how she came to work with adoptees. She shares thoughts and advice for the adoption community to better help listen to and validate adoptees, in particular adopted youth. Learn more about Sara's professional work in the adoption community at https://www.coreofadoption.net/ and follow her on Instagram @core.ofadoption.
Steph, a French adoptive dad, talks about his experience adopting his daughter. He highlights some of the differences between adoption in the United States and France, based on his experiences. We love how Steph highlighted the importance of taking care of first parents and the importance of prioritizing their care and control over their time and decisions post-birth. He also talks about the overturning of Roe v. Wade, potentially giving less control and choice to first parents. Steph’s family hired a doula as an advocate for their daughter’s first mom, and talks about creating positive open adoption relationships.
In this panel episode we hear from Keri, Dawn, and Regan, who are all either birth moms or adoptive moms. They share their thoughts and experiences regarding cultivating meaningful open adoption relationships. We hear thoughts from each of them regarding building and maintaining relationships over long-distances. The panel discusses lessons learned over the years and advice for building relationships with adoptive and birth family. They also share tips for others on creating these relationships.
We're kicking off Season 3 of the Open Adoption Project with a conversation with Rachel Kramer. Rachel is an adoptee and a birth mom, who shares how her experience growing up in a semi-open adoption influenced her decision to place her twins in an open adoption last year. Rachel is from the southern United States and talks openly about the struggles and hardships of adoption.
This week we look back on some key takeaways from season 2. We’ll be back with season 3 beginning on July 11.
In this episode we revisit some of our conversations with adoptees during seasons one and two. Adoptee voices are key to understating adoption more deeply, so we really should listen to them.
E11 - Sharolyn | "So Wanted & So Loved"
E15 - Melaina | “A Journey to Discover Who I Was”
E18 - DaKota | Growing Up with an Open Adoption
E25 - Jori | My Experience as an Adoptee and Birth Mom
E27 - Emily | My Experience as an Adoptee and an Adoptive Mom
E30 - Katie | Healing & Open Adoption
E37 - Mary | Tragically Beautiful
E40 - Addison | Adoptee Meets World
E46 - Molly | Listen to Adoptees with Curiosity and Compassion
E49 - Ana Katia | Fourteen Days
In this episode Michelle, a birth mom, shares her story of placing her son for adoption and reunifying with him, finally seeing each other in person during the pandemic. She shares her thoughts as an adoption professional about the importance of listening to adoptees, reiterating that we should hear adoptee experiences with open hearts. She said, “We should all be shutting up and listening to a lot more adoptees.” We love her focus on adoptees, and agree that our community needs to work harder to hear adoptee voices and experiences. She also talks about her experiences as an author, working to connect with and share her heart with members of the adoption community. Connect with Michelle on Instagram @michellethornebooks and through email at michelle@michellethornebooks.com
Joanna and Matt are adoptive parents who have two sons, one who was adopted from a relative, and the other through an agency. Both of their adoptions are very open. In this episode, they share what they wish they’d known before adopting. Joanna and Matt talk also about different levels of openness in adoption, open communication agreements, and the responsibility adoptive parents have to ensure that adoption practices are ethical. They talk about the immense blessings of open adoption, and how grateful they are that they have very open adoptions. They talk about how their entire families have embraced their kids’ birth families as family. They also talk about the importance of therapy.
https://www.instagram.com/pacefam2010/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgM7EYFFz_dba0OIZs5L9kg
We're honored to share another adoptee voice today. Adoptee Ana Katia shares some of her story of searching for her birth mom in Costa Rica. You can hear more of her story in her memoir, "Fourteen Days." Ana Katia loves to speak about creating change from within. Connect with Ana Katia on Instagram @adopted4change, or on Facebook.
In episode 47, we heard from Jared, a birth father. In this episode, we hear another side of the story from his wife, Shayla. Shayla and Jared are the parents of three boys, the first whom they placed for adoption. Shayla talks about the challenges of parenting her younger sons after placing her first, and about PTSD and trauma birth parents experience. She also talks about building a strong relationship with her son's adoptive family.
This is a really tender episode. We've heard from many birth moms on the podcast, but this is our first episode hearing from a birth dad. Jared talks about how placing his first son for adoption affected him, and what his experience was in that process and after, in building a relationship with his son and his adoptive family. Make sure to listen to this birth father’s story, and next week, tune in to hear Shayla’s side of this story.
Molly, an adoptee from Colombia, talks about the importance of elevating adoptee voices and processing her own adoption story and trauma. She talks about “coming out of the fog,” reflecting on adoption policy, and the importance of having cultural and racial mirrors, honoring international adoptee’s cultures of origin. Molly works professionally as a social worker and shares how her thoughts regarding adoption have evolved with her reunification with her first family.
Rebekkah was adopted by her stepfather as a child. She placed her daughter for adoption as a young adult. She talks about racism, the importance of education in adoption, adoption language, and other thoughts as a birth mom, and shares her story with raw vulnerability.
In this episode, we hear from Kim Perry (who we also interviewed in episodes 23 and 32, about her experiences as an adoption professional and adopting her daughters from Ecuador). This week we hear about Kim's experience as a gestational carrier, We love Kim's frank and honest thoughts. Follow her on Instagram @its.kimperry
Shane and Alisha are foster parents who have cultivated an open and loving relationship with their foster children's mother. We loved hearing their perspectives about caring for foster children and building relationships that are child-centric.
Have you ever wondered what the differences between domestic infant adoption and foster to adopt are? Joseph and Melissa are currently parenting 8 children! Among the children they are raising they have two kids adopted through domestic infant adoption, three biological children, and three foster children who they are on track to adopt. In this episode, they share advice for families considering fostering and thoughts on helping children work through trauma.
Gina is a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption in a semi-open adoption 21 years ago. She shares the feelings and struggles from her journey in this episode, and her jaw-dropping story of reunification with her daughter. Gina is the author of "A Seemingly Unfillable Heart: An Adoption Journey" which is a memoir about her adoption story.
Fine Gina on Instagram @ginacrottswriter
Addison, an adoptee who was born in China, shares her story and talks about Asian hate and the challenges of being raised in a white family. Be sure to check out Addison and Libby's podcast, Adoptee Meets World, available on Apple Podcasts and most other places you find podcasts. Also follow them on Instagram @adopteemeetsworld_
This week on the podcast we hear from Michael and Tony, an adoptive couple, who share their story of adopting their daughter and then becoming foster parents in the state of California.
In this episode, we hear from Sarah, a birth mom, who shares her story of placing two of her children for adoption in the same adoptive family. She discusses some of the challenges she's faced and the importance of education in adoption. Sarah runs the Instagram page @adoptioneducationkeys, which she created as a space to have hard conversations.
We are excited to share another adoptee voice in this week's episode. Mary from @becauseadoption shares her story as an adoptee, including the heartache and challenges she's faced. The adoption community needs to hear adoptee voices. This vulnerable episode shares another valuable adoptee voice. We hope you feel growth while hearing Mary's story, thoughts, and struggles.
Check out her website at becauseadoption.com
In this episode, Nate and Kim share their story of adopting their son, and their experiences regarding special needs and adoption, including building open adoption relationships with birth parents who may have special needs.
Derek J. Williams is an adoption attorney in Utah. In this episode, he shares legal and ethical guidelines for the adoption community to consider. Derek discusses the importance of making ethical and educated decisions in adoption. He talks about the most common legal questions he is asked and shares insights and suggestions for the adoption community through a legal lens. An additional resource Derek suggested, particularly for those looking for attorneys well-versed in adoption across the United States is AAAA, which is the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys.
This week on the podcast we are excited to share an interview with Kaytlin, a birth mom. Kaytlin wants to help empower women to make the best decisions for themselves as they weigh their options. We hope you enjoy hearing from her and her unique perspectives and story this week.
This week on the podcast we hear from teen and child adoptees. We hear from adoptees who have different kinds of adoptions and different feelings about their experiences. We hope we can always prioritize listening to adoptees, and we hope you enjoy our special holiday episode. In this episode, our oldest child moderates as the interviewer for eight different adoptee kids and teens. We are so thankful for all of them sharing some of their feelings with us in this episode.
This week we're so excited to hear from Kim Perry again. Kim is an adoption professional and a licensed social worker, as well as the mother of two children who were adopted from Ecuador. Kim shares about the process of adopting her daughters, and advice for adoptive parents about helping children address trauma and other challenges that stem from adoption. She talks about embracing our children's cultures and heritages. She discusses her family’s experience becoming a transracial family and the struggles of children facing racism. She also talks about special needs adoption and older child adoption and shares her thoughts on how we as an adoption community can better rally around and support adoptees.
How do you strengthen your relationship with your partner when going through infertility? In this episode we hear advice from a panel of individuals who experience infertility and are at different points in their journeys. They share their perspectives on how to navigate challenges when struggling and give advice with to those who are struggling with infertility.
Katie, an adoptee and a birth mom of two, shares her story while relating the challenges she’s faced and the highs and lows in her adoption journey.
Cathy, a birth mom, shares her story of placing her daughter for adoption and eventually forming a very open adoption relationship with her and her adoptive parents. Cathy talks about letting love guide in relationships and how her family has supported her in the ups and downs of her journey.
Follow Cathy on Instagram @chasingcrossnos
In this episode, we talk to a fourth-year medical student, Jeremy Stone, about medical information regarding NAS and other in-utero drug exposure. Jeremy started an informational website, adoptionmeded.com, as a resource for hopeful adoptive parents looking for reliable information when making decisions about prospective adoption situations.
Welcome back to the Open Adoption Project! We kick off Season 2 with an interview with Emily, who shares her personal adoption stories as both an adoptee and an adoptive mom. We loved hearing Emily’s story and thoughts and are excited to be back for another season of the Open Adoption Project.
Bone Marrow Donation: bethematch.org
This is our final episode for Season 1. We will be back soon, with new episodes beginning on November 8, 2021. In this episode we wrap up sharing our family’s adoption story. Navigating adoption during a pandemic was a bit different. We talk about how we built a relationship with our fourth child’s birth family and what his pandemic placement looked like. We’re looking forward to returning in Season 2 with more interviews and stories from all members of the adoption triad. In the meantime we’ll be posting on Instagram @openadoptionproject. Thanks for listening!
This week we hear Jori’s story as both an adoptee and a birth mother. Jori was adopted from foster care at six months old by a biracial family. She talks about holding space for every part of adoption, including the traumatic parts. She shares thoughts about how placing her oldest daughter for adoption helped her better connect with her own birth mom, and what we as an adoption community can do to better support adoptees and birth parents. This is a beautiful interview representing all three perspectives of the adoption triad, with Jori teaching us as both an adoptee and birth mom and Lanette, an adoptive mom, interviewing. You won’t want to miss this episode.
Follow Jori on Instagram @thestoryofjori
Read part of the article Jori mentions in this episode: https://adoption.com/mothers-life-part-iii/
In this beautiful interview we hear about one family’s story involving many aspects of adoption that listeners often ask about--special needs adoption, foster-to-adopt, international adoption, and disrupted placements. In this episode, Burgandy, an adoptive mom, shares her family’s story of adopting internationally and through the foster system. She discusses her experiences adopting special needs children. She talks about the different levels of openness in her three sons’ adoptions, including her family’s fulfilling open adoption relationship with one of her son’s (first) parents in India.
In this episode we hear from Kim Perry, who has been an adoption professional since 2008. She shares thoughts about how the adoption triad can better support adoptees. She also discusses the pros and cons of private adoption, agency adoption and foster care. In addition, she shares thoughts on actionable ways adoptive parents should hold adoption professionals accountable and set a higher standard for ethical behavior.
Follow Kim @its.kimperry
Alexa recently placed her daughter for adoption. In this episode she shares her story with so much tenderness, detailing her experiences and the emotional struggles she’s faced. She also talks about what her open adoption looks like. This reflection on a very recent placement illustrates some of the challenges and feelings birth mothers go through during those first weeks after placing their babies for adoption.
Follow Alexa on instagram @my_story6.19.21
We return to sharing more about our family’s adoption experiences in this episode, talking about juggling multiple birth family relationships and the nuances of that. We also share our top five tips to create positive and meaningful relationships with members of the adoption triad.
In this heartfelt episode Tamra, a birth mom, shares her story of placement and reunification with her son. She shares specific and genuine advice for those considering adoption and talks about her journey through complicated emotions and challenges that are prevalent in the adoption world.
Follow Tamra on Instagram @ramblintam
Read her article, "When I Placed My Son for Adoption, I Had to KNOW I was Making the Right Choice"
Also check out her "Search and Reunion Guide"
In this special mini episode of The Open Adoption Project, our kids interview some of their adoptee friends about their thoughts and experiences with adoption so far. Rocklyn, Kyson, Zack, Luke and Jace share their stories as adoptees.
In this episode DaKota, an adult adoptee, shares his experiences growing up with a very open adoption. He also talks about how the openness of his adoption contrasted with his siblings who were adopted and had different levels of openness. He discusses the shift of the responsibility of maintaining open adoption relationships from his parents to him as he moved into adulthood. DaKota is the founder and President of the Destiny Foundation. Find DaKota on Instagram: @dakota.aitken
What’s in a name? In this episode we talk about meeting expectant parents over an online video call and how that experience differed from face-to-face meetings. We also talk about different thoughts on naming adopted children. We conclude with a brief interview with our son, a five-year-old adoptee.
In this episode we hear from five teenage adoptees. They share their thoughts and experiences involving adoption in this special mini interview episode hosted by our oldest daughter. You’ll hear from Summer, Mishell, McCoy, James, and Gracie. They’ll talk about how their feelings toward their adoption stories have evolved up to this point, what they wish people understood about adoption, and their advice for other young adoptees who struggle with being different from their peers.
In this episode Melaina, an adoptee, shares her experiences and thoughts about life as a transracial international adoptee. She was born in Colombia and raised in the United States. She shares the struggles and joys she’s experienced and advice for loved ones supporting adoptees in their search for their first family. For more from Melaina, you can follow her on Instagram @melainakrogers where she talks about self-love.
Also, you can see the interviews that she does with others about adoption on her YouTube channel.
We love talking about beautiful open adoption relationships and experiences, but it’s also important to talk about the questionable, unethical and unlawful aspects of adoption. In this episode we talk about the unethical treatment an expectant mom we became friends with experienced, and what hopeful adoptive parents can do to promote better practices in adoption.
In this episode we share about an IVF attempt after adopting our first two children, what IVF looked like for us, and the feelings we had when it didn’t work out.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject.
In this episode we hear from Crystal--an adoptive mom and a foster parent--and hear her thoughts on creating your own family culture as an adoptive parent as well as the joy that comes from being a foster parent and helping other families.
In this episode, Sharolyn, an adult adoptee, shares what her adoption experience was like growing up in an era where adoption was generally more secretive. In her own family, despite her adoption being closed, adoption wasn’t a secret. She felt empowered to search for her birth parents when she was older, and she shares her experiences with searching, and reuniting with her birth family.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode, we hear from Nicole, a birth mother who placed her daughter for adoption 22 years ago. Her adoption went from semi-open to open, and today she has a beautiful relationship with her daughter. Nicole shares her story and the emotions of adoption, as well as how the openness of her relationship has changed, and her hopes to connect with and support other women who find themselves in similar situations. She also shares her advice for other birth parents and expectant parents considered adoption as well as thoughts for adoptive parents.
Follow Nicole on Instagram @the_birthmotherstory_.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject.
In this episode we talk about placement, adoption baby showers, and balancing relationships with multiple birth families. We also share an interview with our son, a seven year-old adoptee.
Follow us on Instrgram @OpenAdoptionProject
Have you ever met someone who you felt like you already knew? In this episode we talk about meeting our son’s birth parents, who we truly felt like we’d known for years, and the experiences leading up to the adoption of our sweet first son.
Follow us on instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this interview episode, we hear from Brianna and Andrew, who are adoptive parents and advocates for ethical adoption. They share advice for those considering transracial adoption, address handling different levels of openness in adoptions, and answer questions submitted by listeners about adoption agencies, ethics, building an adoption profile, and waiting to adopt.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
Are you more of an oversharer or an undersharer? In this episode we talk about our first year as adoptive parents and some of our experiences as we learned about oversharing and undersharing when others asked questions about our daughter’s adoption. We also discuss what you can expect at court when finalizing your adoption, and how we started telling our daughter her own adoption story.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode we interview Keri, our daughter’s birth mother, about her experiences with placing her baby for adoption in 2011 and the healing process since then. She also shares her advice for expectant parents and prospective adoptive families on how to navigate a positive open adoption.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode we discuss bonding with our newly adopted babies, struggles with post-adoption depression, and using adoption language that empowers adoptees.
For more information about post-adoption depression, you can visit: https://www.postpartumdepression.org/postpartum-depression/adoption/
For more information about adoption language check out: http://ee.umc.org/what-we-believe/positive-adoption-language-examples-and-resources
Also check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeT3c9TmxLE
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode we discuss the challenging aspect of establishing boundaries in open adoption--is there a need to establish boundaries when laying the groundwork for a healthy relationship? And what do healthy boundaries look like in open adoption?
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode we share how our feelings about open adoption evolved as we became friends with expectant parents. We share how we came to understand how open adoption can benefit adoptees as we prepared to adopt our first child, and began working on building our own “village.”
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
In this episode we share how adopting children became part of our plans. We also interview our daughter, a 10 year-old adoptee, about her current feelings about adoption.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject
Throughout this first season of the Open Adoption Project we will share how we became parents and lessons we’ve learned about open adoption along the way.
The Open Adoption Project is is about letting more love into your life, and focusing on helping children feel loved and accepted for who they are.
Follow us on Instagram @OpenAdoptionProject