Fat Guy and the Skinny Dude: Recent Episodes
Fatguyskinnydude
Two distinct gentlemen expressing their views on the current state of our world...or some shit like that.
They finally approach the end of the tunnel as the bright light abates. As they walk out of the tunnel a black marble staircase opens into a room completely made of more black marble, Jade, and encrusted with rubies. At the far end of the enormous hall sits a black robed creature, a small light glowing from under his hood with goat like horns curling over the fabric. On either side of it kneels a winged demon, a flaming sword in their hands. In front of him a clothed covered creature chained to the floor. “I see you do not listen” its voice boomed so deeply it caught our heroes off guard. “For that you will pay the price” Our heroes step forward down the stairs ready to end this. The creature laughs and pulls the blanket from the creature revealing the female companion stripped of her clothes and chained by leg to the marble beneath her. “Noooo” screams out of hefty hero, as he begins to run forward, but as he makes it mid-way the floor drop in front of him creating an impossibly massive gap between them. The monster stands up and removes his hood, crimson red skin shines in the light of the torchers, his jagged teeth curl over his lip as he smiles. “Give me the book and I’ll send you all home, the truth isn’t that important, most of you humans don’t even want the truth, you instead smother your brains in media lies and cat videos”. Our thinner hero steps forward to his friend screaming to the beast “we will not give it up”. As he says this the demon grips the witch by her hair lifting her off the ground her feet kicking, attempting to be free “so be it” the monster says taking his nail and slitting her throat, dropping her to the ground. Time stopped, our larger hero with all his might leaped across the gap barely making it to the other side. He grabs his female friend holding her in his arms. She looks at him and with a gargled breath musters “I…. Love….Yo….” her eyes close as she fades away. As he gently sets her to the floor he pulls a knife from his side, running up to the beast as his back is turned stabbing him into his spine, and the floor behind him begins to reappear. Can our hero defeat the beast who’s taken there friend? Will our heroes ever find the truth? If you make a pan cake in a pan and a griddle cake on the griddle if you cook it on a pile of shit does it become a shitcake? Why the fuck are you asking me?
The platform swayed as our two heroes slowly tiptoed across it toward the tunnel ahead. The larger of our heroes stumbled every few steps, his head throbbing with pain, causing his body to scream out to him. Our tree like hero took the lead with the largest dog staying at his feet while the other two stayed at the sides of the bigger guy to protect him. A voice echoed from the other side of the scarcely lit tunnel “You should have left while you still could” followed by a shrieking laugh. A new fire burned within our beastly hero, he shut out the pain and made a few larges steps to keep pace with the thinner hero. “Let me see the book” he stated as he caught up with his friend. “Maybe I can find something to help us before we go further”. His friend reached into his satchel and handed him the book. As he opened the lock the first page barely visible and the letters scrambled around like ants. “I wish I could see” he said and like that the letters came together. Et erit lux…. What was that, he looked to his companion. “What’s does et erit lux….” And as he uttered the words the entire tunnel lit up as if the sun was reflecting through it. “I guess it’s like make it bright” said the hero like a tree. The bigger hero whispered again to the book “I wish we were healed” the letters came together like butterflies and flew from the page landing one each on the dogs and the skinny dude, as they did they burst into light and they were healed of their wounds. He looked down at the pages confused when the letters realigned. The text read "Men and mongrels we may save, and heal them, that we did, but because your blood binds you to this book, only wisdom we can give". His heart sank as he knew he would see no relief on this adventure. He closed the book and handed back to his friend. His friend then put it back in his satchel and put a hand on our hefty heroes shoulder “we will protect you” as he said that each dog placed a paw upon our hero. Though the travel to come was bright the feeling was grossly darker the closer they got, but in this moment he felt the best feeling….. Hope, why does the blood binding make him unable to be healed? How much farther must they travels to find their female friend? If a Karen becomes a manager and another Karen asks to speak to her, does being the manager Karen grant you superiority according to the council of Karen’s? Stayed tooned and we will ask someone… maybe…. Probably not….
Once again, the dynamic duo was alone. The flames raging from the burning stone around them. Each step tearing at the wound our larger hero had seared shut. From behind him our slender savior put a hand upon his shoulder. “We will get her back buddy, I promise”. The heavy-hearted hero sighed and shook his head agreeing with his best friend and companion. The dogs stayed at the feet of our heroes stopping as they to survey the road ahead. Our taller hero began to have an uneasy feeling as the path got brighter ahead. A voice boom around them, seeming to come from everywhere. “If you leave now we will spare your life” the sound echoed around them. The heavier Hero screamed out into the sky “Noooooo, we will never turn back, we are here for the truth”. The brightness dimmed in the distance as the flames around them died back into the stones around them and the rocks began to smolder down as their red glow began to disappear. A deep cruel laugh comes from the distance as the lights further down to a minimal view. The dogs eyes began to glow in the merely absent light as the thinner titan relights his torch the stone beneath them begins to quake. As the two began to quicken their pace the ground begins to split apart a large crack splits the two friends from each other shooting the fat guy and dogs upward. He reached down the small bluff and grabbed the hand of his friend dragging him up to his level. The ground continued to shake break as they ran along the path keep just ahead of the cliffs and cracks. Just ahead of them was a rotting steel platform appeared, as the make a leap forward their fingertips just barely grabbing the edge, the dogs leaped up to the platform and bit down on their shirts helping to pull our heroes on the ground. Behind them the path crumbled into the abyss, a close call for sure. How will our heroes get back if the path is completely gone? Who was the voice taunting them with such trickery? If you use linguine noodles is it really still spaghetti? Better stick around to find out!!!
The water smelled old and foul and just beneath its dim grey green surface, any army of souls stirred like wisps n cotton candy floating in a swamp. What seems like weak gasp growls to the other two was like in turn a tour to our larger of heroes. “Once you face your trial for the truth quickly return to my dock and I will again return you two home” as he paused our hero quickly interjected confused on hos stamen “two… don’t you me the three of us” the figure look into the distance and just nodded. Even though he acknowledged his statement the bigger hero has a deep gut wrenching feeling about what was going to happen. Over the endless water appeared a small cobble together dock. As they approached nearer our thinner hero was the first to point out the anomaly. “Does anyone else see that the dock is made of bones” he said. The other too travelers peered over again at the destination seeing the structure purely created of lashed vines and human bones. Stepping off the boat and onto the dock the dogs began to whimper, obviously unsure of their current place. One more comment broke the silence “I’ll be waiting for you” said the figure. They looked forward unto a path looking like bricks of gold, but to each side was fire and brimstone. As the trio ventured through the path it became very dim, the skinny dude grabbed an old branch and ran it across the burning rocks lighting it ablaze. “This is terrifying” stated their new female companion as she gripped tighter to the fat guys arm. The dogs walked between them a sad look upon their faces as the whimpered. As they pause for a moment a spear flies out from the darkness landing square into our larger hero’s chest. Knocked flat with the rotting steel sticking into his sternum his friend the skinny dude pulls out his sword and begins battle with the demon that descended on them. As the fat guy pulls the spear from his chest blood begins to pool upon him. Even the licking of the dogs couldn’t help close the gaping wound. The sound of steel in front of them told him that the thinner hero was putting up a hell of a fight. Their third companion was protecting the rear from what looked like fiery bats. Our hero reached to his side and grabbed a flaming rock pressing it to his chest and burning the wound shut. With great pain and light headiness he stood and pulled his sword from his side and charged the beast with his thinner co-part. There was a large rustle behind them with distracted the demon allowing the tree like hero to pierce him through the middle. As they looked behind they could see two winged demons carrying the companion up and away while the dogs jumped to bite them. Who has captured their new friend? How many more demon would they encounter? If you put jerky on a sandwich with peanut butter is it still a PB&J….. Stay tuned to find out!!!
As the Dark figure moved in closer the world began to drain of color and the temperature plummeted. Our larger hero rose to his feet awaiting the creature, preparing to fight again for his life. He felt a hand on each shoulder as the other two arose too his side. The dogs stood beside them continuing to lick the thinner traveler’s wounds, causing them to heal almost instantly. Less than ten feet now as he approached closer a strong breeze knocked over all but the biggest of our heroes. Five feet away and the rain began pouring drenching everyone in a barrage of drops the size of hamsters. 2 feet, and the rain stopped mid-air time froze around them. The creature stopped and bowed to our heroes and began to speak “ I am sorry I have caused alarm” he gasped “ You see you payment of blood has awoken me to see you safe passage across the lake of the damned” our hefty hero looks over to both companion who look terrified and yet confused “ They cannot hear me” he said, two red dots peering from under his cloak “ I need you to follow me, I will get you safely across the lake but I fear, only more hell will rain down on you from there”. As he said that a cold chill ran down there spines. “What is he doing” yells the skinny dude as the figure points to the forest and a line of trees split apart showing a path to the water. “We have to follow him” states the bigger fella. Both companions look at him shocked at what they just heart. Our female friend looks deep into his eyes and nods, the branch like hero throws up his shoulder “why the fuck not”. The dark guide looks back to our heroes “You best friend and Lover will be safe upon the boat, but I must ask that you collar your beasts” and with a snap three collars and leashes appear on the dogs. As they began to follow it down the path the witch stops our bigger hero. “if something happens” she says, in a soft sweet voice “ I want to say I love you” he looks her in the eyes seeing the universe unfold in front of him “ I know” he replies “ I feel it too”. The thinner hero just shakes his head “fuck that sappy shit” he laughs “we got shit to do”. Should our heroes trust their new guide? What hell awaits them on the other side of the lake? If you put your right hand in and put your right hand out, then put your right hand in and shake it all about, do you listen to everything some idiot who wrote a song tells you to do??? the world may never know
Crawling through the tunnel our heroes and companion finally see the sunlight at the very end. The three demonic pups help drag the worn triad out the last few feet and into the warm sunlight. Laying upon the ground right outside the hole, the mess of blood, bruises and cuts were very at much a display in the rays of the rising sun. After what seemed like an hour just sitting in the sunlight our boulder like hero looks over to see the his friend of great height sleeping, he reached over to wake him but the ladies hand pulled him back “ let him rest” she said “we have much to talk about”. As he looked back to her their eyes locked, a feeling swept over him, warm like a small flighty feeling, and as she smiled everything seemed OK, though he was sure it wasn’t. She began to question him of why they were in such trouble. Like a great mouth expulsion he began to weave the tale of trouble that had arisen in their first adventure, and how the seeking of the truth meant more to them than anything. She nodded her head understandingly. He paused back to were they had first come upon her presence. She looked back into his eyes the similar feeling growing, she took his hand as the both sat in silence for the moment. She leaned into our hunky hero and pressed her lips too his. As they locked in such a warm embrace a cold chill flushed down his back. The dogs began howling as a gauntly figure entirely cloaked in torn faded black cloaks seemed to float its way up the path. The sky darkened the closer he appeared. Why can’t out heroes ever seem to get a break? Who is this masked creature break more rainy sorrow? Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, Yes I know the muffin man…. If you do can you hook me up I need some baked goods for sure
As the flames flicker our heroes and their friend look at the first page of the book. The symbols on the page made no sense, looking more like a child's scribble in a coloring book. They glance back and forth at each other unsure what to do next. "What does it mean?" the witchy woman asks as our slender friend turns the pages to just more scribbles. Our bigger hero brings a candle closer to examine the book. "I wish I could read it", he mentions starting at it confused. As he paused the scribbles in the book began crawling around the page forming into sentences written in English. All three jumped back at the sight. The hefty hero steps back to the book flipping to the front page and reads. You have sought the truth even when they have opposed you finding it. With your gift of blood, you are now the master of this txt. The truth comes with great sacrifice. For something to gain there is always something to lose. But for now, you must fight... As he finished these words the books slammed shut and once again locked. The door then began to rumble. 3 large claws dragged through the wood frame and with a swift motion ripped the door from its hinges. In the flicker of the light, 3 beasts, like a mix of gargoyles and orcs stood at the door axes in te gaping claws. With a scream, they charged into the room directly at our heroes with their wings killing the flames that lit the room. What did the book mean by "Great Sacrifice"? Would our heroes survive to fight another day?... What idiot put a well on top of a hill, then, were so lazy they instead sent two children named Jack and Jill unsupervised to fetch them water?... Only Mother Gothel may know...
Our two heroes and their new friend run quickly down the barely lit pathway as the barrage of monsters swarms above them. The three canines lead up the rear keeping the beast as bay as the three run down a hill and come across a tunnel. “In here” the woman beckons as she blows into her hand igniting a small green fireball floating in her palm. Our two heroes run into the tunnels following the light as she continues to run. Her footsteps stop as the three reach a small room hidden at the end of the tunnel, upon entering, the door shuts and locks itself behind the three dogs. She casts the fireball upwards lighting a chandelier above them. Catching their breath, our two heroes sit at the table under the light. “What the fuck is in the purse?” She points almost angrily towards the satchel on the Groot-like heroes side. He looks over to his larger companion who nods the ok to withdraw its contents. From the bag, he produced an old heavy black leather-bound book, the latch made of hand-forged brass, and a lock of steel as black as night, the sides of the pages stained in crimson blood and upon its face in gold letter read scientiam veritatis pervenientes. She stares at the book, examining the lock, but finds no keyhole. “there’s no keyhole” she says confused. Our boulder of a hero looks at her, knowing he is taking a leap of faith “ it’s a different kind of key” he takes his knife and slices his hand dripping blood onto the lock, as the first drop hits, the lock springs open. What is this book that requires such sacrifice to open?... Why does the Fat Guy trust this person he barely knows?... If I see a red door do I want to paint It black? Listen in to find out
Dragging his slender friend from the forest our larger hero slumps to the ground a mix of blood and sweat drenching his clothes. He pulls the fang protruding from his hip out the feeling of warm blood now drooling down his leg. in the distance billows of smoke drift into the sky from a small stone home. Our hero grabs his blade and throws his friend over his shoulder trudging closer toward the house. something growls from behind the gate, our hero tense his grip on the blade tired but ready. another loud growl from behind now increase his adrenaline the feeling of a warm touch upon his wound cause his heart to skip a beat. he quickly turns to see a siberian husky glowing in the moonlight, the dog licking his wound, out from the gate to other a small brindle pitbull and a rottweiler or some time circle him licking him and his companion. a warm happy feeling falls over him. as he looks everywhere the dogs licked has healed completely over. Just as he starts to pet the pups the house door violently swings open and a woman in dark robes emerges as the dogs run to her side. You should not be here she cackles as the world begins to spin our hero loses consciousness. How is the dog's saliva healing their wounds? Who is this wicked witch throwing them off her lawn? what is love, baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more.. ... .....
The light of the fire and candles barely illuminated her small stone home. Our massive monster of a hero awoke, his slender companion sitting next to him one hand on his shoulder, the other still gripping his satchel. "Drink this", said the woman, her cloak pulled back to reveal a soft beautiful face with hair woven of midnight and eyes a piercing blue, "It smells like horse piss, but it will give you your strength back." Looking over at his companion, his friend nods to say it's ok. Beyond the smell it tasted like opening your mouth in a swamp, earthy...old...stale, but as the horrible concoction slid down his throat, a calming feeling began to encompass him. The three dogs lay near his feet enjoying the heat from the hearth. "Who are you?" asks our enormous hero. She looks over them both and responds. "Just a lonely...", but was cut off by a swift whoosh of the door flying open and all the flames going out. The dog's eyes were now glowing and loud growls came from by his side. "We need to move now!", says our beastly hero grabbing the hands of his friend and the woman. Running out the door he calls for the dogs who quickly run to his side. A large beast swooped down knocking the three off their feet, pinning our large hero to the ground. The feeling of a cold stone like clawing pressed against his throat left him gasping for air. Just as his vision began to blur, like a flash of lightning, the large wolf-like dog tackled the creature ripping out its throat, looking back at the sky he could see a swarm flying above. "RUUUNNNNN! He gasped out as he rose to his feet! What are these creatures now?......What was the woman going to say before she was cut off?... If you eat a bowl of pasta than a bowl of antipasto salad, do they cancel each other out? Stay tuned to find out...
The Forest seemed to be creeping in around them, the shimmer of the full moon like stars through the thick dense foliage. Scratches cover our heroes arms and legs fresh blood left on the path with every step. The darkness had their senses on high alert as it was merely hard enough to see the ground let alone what was peering out from the netherworld. In the distance a wolf's howl pierces the singing of crickets. Out timber like hero grips the satchel with the book tightly reaching for his revolver with the other. Our beastly hero draws his sword as the sound of pads hitting the dirt grows nearer " hey skinny dont move" with a quick slash above his head down falls a spider easily the size of a golden retriever. "I guess he won't be bugging us" laughed our larger hero when millions of red eyes appeared surrounding them. "Well shit" was all he could muster before the eight legged monsters descended on them. how do spiders get that big? why does the fat guy have a sword? how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was chuck norris? stayed tuned and find out
Each footstep sounded as if the world underneath was crumbling though our heroes could not see their own shoes through the dense fog. The uneasy feeling of trudging through a graveyard on a moonless night through such conditions left them both feeling tense. The gate to exit only 20 paces ahead. Our slender hero grips tightly to the dirt covered book, preparing for the unexpected. 10 more steps... a low groaning sound ever closer to our friends then before, a frigid breeze sweeps across their faces, unusual for a summers eve. 5 more paces ... when through the fog a beast takes our taller hero to the ground, gnarling gnashing teeth at his throat a loud thud causes the beast to keel over beside him. Our rotund hero stands there shovel in hand reaching to his friend... but before their hands meet 3 large monsters drag him into the darkness.... Whats in the book ? Will our beastly hero be ok? Will flat-earthers get a-round to the truth.... I doubt it
The days is done
we had fun
we laughed and oogled
and of course we googled
and with one through
were on to 2
so for now good night
and keep your earholes tight!!!
Finally alone our two heroes can finally open the box that has been traveling with them since the beginning. They both stand in front in silences as our hefty hero turns the key until it finally clicks. He lifts the lid dying to see the contents. The light finally casts its way into the vessel revealing a compass, a map and a manila envelope. Was this envelope holding the contents of the truth they had sought after so hard? As our slender hero opens the envelope a single piece of paper emerges. Reading it aloud its only one sentence “if you seek the truth follow the map”. “Well SD” he pauses “looks like our adventure has just begun…..”. What is on the map? Why were people trying to kill them over this box? What came first the chicken or his girlfriend? The world may never know
Finally as the dust settles our heroes find themselves at the shoreline. The shimmer of the sun gleaming off the gentle waves. As our heroes step out of their vehicle another truck pulls up behind them. as they walk out into the sand the skinny dude hears a bullet whiz past his head he drops to the ground. whipping around they see their car in flames and two men dressed in black firing at them. jumping behind the life guard stand they pull their guns. " ive got three bullets, so we're good" yells the fat guy. Who are these men? Why are they shooting at our heroes? Does this story make my ass look fat? answers to these questions maybe on some dark web sites or something?
Our tall hero walks through the set of white doors and into the hospital room. He takes a seat next to the patient whose face is wrapped entirely in gauze covering his wounds. "I'm so sorry buddy" the skinny dude speaks softly, sadness in his tone. "if it wasn't for those god damn cinnamon rolls we would be off on our next adventure". he pauses and sighs. The light glimmering off the tubes and wires everywhere. He puts his head down into his hands, shaking his head. as he looks up our larger hero is standing in the doorway shaking his head. "Are you ready to go Skinny? we got shit to do" the skinny dude looks at the patient and back at his partner and shrugs. Our two heroes walk out the sliding doors out into the sunshine. Who was the man in the bandages? how is the fat guy still ok? is Betty White truly immortal? Don't pretend like we are going to actually give you answers
As our heroes awaken, the delicious smell of cinnamon rolls drags across their nostrils. They both sit up and look at each other. Running down the stairs our hefty hero hopes to see his mother but in turn sees no one. As the skinny dude walks into the kitchen he sees the plate of sweets and grabs them off the table, then the clicking begins. Lifting the plate activated the bomb underneath. Our larger hero tackles his tree like companion to the floor. The explosion sends shards of the mahogany table through the air like little missles and into our hero. Will he survive?...Who baits a bomb with cinnamon rolls?...What would you do for a Klondike bar?...Keep your ear to the ground and find out...but not like in the middle of the free way...well fuck it I mean I guess if you are that dumb...
And as the explosion went off ferociously blasting bits of the badger across the field our heroes realized only then that they were in the middle of a mine field. With the thick grass whipping from the wind and the sun setting there was no way to tell where the mines were placed. Each step they took carefully planned hoping to make it to the tree line. Will our heroes be able to wage their way through the mines? What awaits them in the dark forest ahead? Will we ever know who let the dogs out? Maybe...but probably not from us....
As our heroes carried the poor injured tigers through the woods, the light begins to fade behind the trees. The sounds of the forest begin to come alive. Our heroes begin to pick up the pace concerned of what might come down next, as they come to the end of the tree line, a multitude of red eyes begin to pop our of the darkness. A loud roar comes from deep within the woods, the sound of paws hitting the ground in rapid succession. What best is this?...How will our heroes protect the wounded beast?...Is Wonder Bread really not that wonderful?... Stay tuned and find the fuck out...or not...or tacos...mhhhmmmmmm Tacos
As our heroes look around them all they see is smoke and flames, the entire top floor of the building engulfed in a scene surely reminiscent of the gates of hell. As our heroes begin to cough from the smoke, an idea comes to the larger heroes mind. He begins to jump up and down the sound of the wood giving way to his weight, with one last jump the floor cracks beneath them and they fall down to the first floor. as they start to run to the front door the building begins to collapse, will our heroes make it out alive?.... What happened to the fire suppression system?... Can you really believe that it's not butter and many more answers that I'm sure are on Wikipedia or some shit.
Everywhere around them was only sky as they floated higher into the atmosphere, an amazing feeling as neither had ventured in a hot air balloon. But an easy feeling came over our heroes as they continued to accelerate into the clouds with no sign of stopping. Nudging the operator to slow down he slumps over in the basket...lifeless, a dart embedded in his neck. "Do you know how to fly this thing?" says the skinny dude. "Fly, yes." says the fat guy, after a long pause "land...well, no." Will this be the end of our heroes? Who keeps killing those who help our heroes?... How the fuck do you stay 6 feet apart in a hot air balloon? These answers and maybe more if I ever feel like writing another novel.
One thousand...... five hundred..... and seventy fucking six stairs.. our hefty hero trying hard to catch his breath. Our sky scraper like hero laughs as he looks over the edge and to the ground below. Around the corner the glimmer of a gun catches the fading sunlight.. "fat guy" says the skinny dude " how's your parkour" our larger hero sees the gunman too. "Let's see" as he begans leaping down the stairs jumping from rail to rail. As they leap through the stair wells the first gunshot leaves concrete dust permiating the air. Who is shooting at them now? Why didn't they take the elevator? Girl who is you playin wit, back that ass up? And maybe one day when your older we will explain the truth!!!
Trapped in their home as the dark mist floods the streets the sun nearly blotted out by the world seemingly withering away around them. Our two heroes are forced to meet via video uploads due to the dismal shutdown of the outside world. The time to walk out the door that has entrapped them seems to loom ever farther away. The need for rations has forced the larger of our heroes out into the world as he steps through the gateway he takes a breath...will it be his last...will he survive being deemed essential to the cause...well I sure fucking hope so because I've still got shit to do.
As the fire slowly dies our heroes realize their only chance is to continue their trek across the frozen wasteland ahead. A quick shiver comes to both as the cold arctic air rips through their hoods. The vibrant red sunrise glisten across the drifts of snow, all their tracks from before now lost in the ice, they pick up their gear and head north hoping to find the home of a jolly old saint. Will they ever find Santa? will the fat guy have to eat the skinny one to survive, does the great cornholio still need TP for his bunghole?...stay tuned and find out.
The lights flicker as the sound of crunching steel echoes through the submarines hull. As our heroes look out the port holes all they can see are deep black tentacles dragging them deeper into the abyss. The mounting pressure on the hull behind buckling the steel. Can our heroes escape heart-racing you click play and... We talk about the crazy world and eat some fine ass cheese!
As the sun sets our two travelers make their way into town, the dust slowly settling behind them. As they get off their horses, the gleam of polished steel catches the last bit of sunlight. A oice from the distance calls out "You boys looking for trouble..." as one hero tips up his hat, he exclaims "No dude, where's the bathroom? I'm about to shit my pants"....Yep
The feeling of warm sand between your toes sitting back in a beach chair with a cold Corona virus quarantining you for 2 weeks with your cats realizing you're just delirious sitting on the couch with your feet in the litter box drinking week old milk from the carton.
Our two adventurers hot on the trail of a white rabbit in a striped bikini find themselves falling deeper down the rabbit hole. Will they ever land... Will they ever catch the rabbit... Will they every find a bathtub they can fit in? Tune in to find out... Well that's not true, but tune in anyhow.
Our epic heroes go forth upon their journey to find the truth about why their fat asses don't fit in bathtubs and other important malarkey.