The Brandonian Doctrine: Recent Episodes

Brandon Wilson

Short musings from a contrarian mind

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When did they change the definition of "free?"

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I'm all for donations, but let's make it a win-win for everyone.

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I'm not confused at all. You're FedEx!

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Great news, bad news, but for whom?

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Hopefully, nothing like this has ever happened to you.

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I don't mind helping with certain tasks, but for drudgery like moving, I just want credit for the offer.

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I'll take the hit and read the news so you don't have to.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! Whatever you do, don't go to an Irish bar on St. Patrick's Day.

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No one wants to hear about the dream you had last night.

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Have you ever been on the phone with someone and just can't seem to end the call? Here are some suggestions that should end the call immediately.

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A tip for SuperBowl parties

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Important public service announcement in case you are ever in this situation.

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Part 2 of the best clips of The Brandonian Doctrine


This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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As a capper to Season 1, this is Part 1 of a compilation of the best bits from The Brandonian Doctrine


This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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"Tickets! Tickets!"

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This is what I've always wanted my voicemail message to be.

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A rule for relationships

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Just say no applies to more than just drugs.

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Are you pretending to be too busy? That's your choice.

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I don't want my money back. I want the product/service to work as advertised.

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For me, milk does NOT do a body good.

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Sometimes the internet goes down and sometimes it doesn't. 

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So much for the trend of bigger is better.

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For all the pizza lovers out there.

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What's this "never quit" mantra I hear so much about?

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On momentum, success, decision, and action

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Hint: It's NOT when you wake up in the morning.

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Knowing is not enough.

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My attempt at some dad humor.

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Has anyone else experienced the three-check month phenomenon?

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"What would you say to someone who is bleeding from four different places on his body at the same time?"

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Microsoft Teams is the latest program. Do we need another one?

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Should weddings be put on hold while we sort out this pandemic?

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Part 2

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True story. Part 1.

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I don't care about your title.

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One source of income is a bad idea.

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A new invention that combines life-saving with convenience.

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A technique for dealing with telemarketers.

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What's the point of lessons learned if no one learns the lessons?

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Happy Father's Day!

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I'm either going to eat the real deal or go without. No turkey bacon.

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Buy one, get one. What happened to 2-for-1?

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Direct threat or harmless reminder?

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Beware that third sneeze in a row.

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Do not invite me to one.

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Have a look-see.

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Maybe it's time for unfriendly reminders instead.

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Any drink coasters that do not fulfill these two jobs are out!

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Let's explore some grocery shopping tips and see if they are all that valuable.

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I don't have time to go searching for links on Instagram.

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Ready to go out to eat? There's going to be some changes.

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If you have a job, are you spending any time on Linked In? 

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I don't need content recommendations.

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Enough of advertising in text messages. Who's with me??

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Can you tell I'm an introvert?

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Some advice that I got when I took my first management position.

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Maybe it should be called HBO Lax.

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Do you trust the sender of an email when the sender is you?

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What does it mean to be neighborly?

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Always keep an eye out.

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Anyone else tired of face masks already?

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Mayonnaise fans, this one's for you.

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Aren't these items used at the sink instead of the toilet?

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Who are the best beneficiaries of this free service?

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Teeth whitening products are easy to find. What about teeth staining products?

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Stop wasting my time with meaningless polls and hypothetical stories. Who cares!

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Simply taking a walk sounds easy right?

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Let's remember to focus on our priorities right now.

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I'm tired of these commercials.

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For all the people who like cobbler.

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Who is buying Papa Murphy's pizzas??

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Thanking the unsung heroes in our households.

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This is a vintage episode reminding me of the good ol' days of traveling.

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Who knew cough drops could be so funny?

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Some ideas are simply absurd.

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What exactly am I supposed to do when I see an amber alert?

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Who keeps changing these?

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Ok time to call out these people.

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The CARES Act has some unintended consequences.

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Anyone else annoyed by this?

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I just call it a hot dog.

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Magazines went out with powdered wigs.

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Don't forget the overlying conditions.

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What's with the obsession with the number 15?

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Do you really want to be on the same page with everyone else?

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By the time it gets to me, the story has been told.

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That's fine but where's my order??

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Have you ever carried around a food baby?

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Who needs to pay for senior pictures nowadays?

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Cover those webcams when not in use!

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Look out for the hackers!

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Happy Earth Day everybody!

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Who else can't stand talking on the phone?

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What good are political endorsements?

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A riff on his Airness Michael Jordan

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What's with a scale and 401k going in the WRONG direction faster than anything??

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I describe one of the worst sounds that gives me absolute anxiety.

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Be sure to use the words data and media correctly.

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Don't forget to wear your face mask when you go out and about.

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Is the jury out or not out?

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Who gets bored?

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I'm just here to see the show.

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Isn't dentistry a hands-on field?

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Don't forget to wash your hands.

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A simple phrase for a good night's sleep.

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A puzzling lack of information

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Spreading cheer and joy?

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What's with these non-names?

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Look out for the Trolls coming to your living room soon!

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Support small business?

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Either get healthy or stay healthy.

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We need a call to inaction.