Worth Recovery: Recent Episodes
Amy Smith
Worth Recovery is about dispelling shame and building hope in the lives of women recovering from sex addiction. Amy shares the experiences of women in recovery to help you build hope & recovery!
Hey, friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Worth Recovery Podcast. I’m Amy, your host, and I’m a sex/love/relationship addict. I’ve been sober since December 2nd, 2012, and I’m excited to share a tool with you today.
Building Your Recovery Toolbox
In recovery, having a toolbox filled with various tools is essential, especially when dealing with relationships, love, and sex. We need a variety of tools for different reasons. Some are preventative, helping us stay in a good mental space, while others help us regulate ourselves when we're feeling activated. Sometimes, we use tools to bring ourselves back to the present and feel grounded.
Our toolboxes are unique to us because what works for me might not work for you. For instance, I love writing and music, while others might prefer different methods. Today, I want to introduce a tool that has been incredibly helpful for me when I feel anxious—something I call the Time Zone Activity.
When I get anxious, I feel locked up, like the gears in my brain stop working. The goal of this activity is to help me become present, let go of what I can't control, and find flexibility and action in my thinking. Anxiety often makes our thoughts rigid, limiting our perceived options. This activity helps me see that there are always more choices available.
How to Use the Time Zone Activity
You can do this activity with me right now, even if you’re not feeling anxious, because practicing when we’re calm helps us build new neural pathways. Grab a piece of paper and divide it into three columns: Past Time Zone, Current Time Zone, and Future Time Zone. Write down your current time at the top of the middle column and add the phrase, “Be where your feet are.”
Now, think about what’s causing your anxiety and sort these thoughts into the appropriate time zones. It’s common for most of our anxieties to be tied to past or future concerns. Once you have everything listed, the next step is to determine what actions you can take in the present to address these concerns.
Look at your past time zone list and identify what you need to forgive, let go, or take action on in the current time zone. Similarly, examine the future time zone list and consider what steps you can take now to help alleviate these future anxieties.
Once you have a list of actionable items, choose a few things you can do right now to help you stay grounded and move forward. My goal is to complete at least five things, which helps me feel calm and flexible. Sometimes it takes an hour, but I realized that time would pass anyway, whether I spent it worrying or taking action.
Remember, not every tool works for everyone, but trying different ones can help you build a toolbox that suits you. I hope you find this Time Zone Activity helpful. If you give it a try or adapt it, I’d love to hear about your experience. You can email me at amy@worthrecovery.com or leave a comment on the episode.
For additional resources, you can check out this article on grounding techniques that might also be helpful in managing anxiety.
Lastly, always remember that no matter where you are on your recovery journey, you are worth it. You’re worth the effort, time, and work. I believe in you, and until you believe it yourself, you can rely on my belief in you. I think about you, I pray for you, and I love you.
Live in your time zone today.
Until next time,
Amy
Discovering Your Personal Mixing BoardHey, friends! In this episode of The Worth Recovery Podcast, we're diving into a fun and helpful analogy for personal growth and recovery: the mixing board. Growing up in a musical family, I learned all about how mixing boards can blend different sounds to create just the right balance. Now, I’m using this idea to help us think about our own lives.
Imagine you have your own mixing board, with dials representing your beliefs, behaviors, and emotions. Some dials might be for traits like compassion or confidence, while others might control beliefs like "I can't trust anyone" or "I'm not enough." By figuring out which dials are cranked up too high or turned down too low, we can start dialing in our lives to reduce distortion and create the balance we need for successful recovery.
Small Tweaks, Big ImpactThe key to "dialing it in" is understanding that even small tweaks can lead to big changes. Think about three areas in your life where the dials might be off. Are there beliefs that hold you back or behaviors that need a little adjusting? By recognizing these areas, we can make thoughtful changes that help us find more harmony in our lives.
I'll share my own experiences with dialing in my settings, like rethinking my packed schedule to prevent burnout or challenging the belief that relationships are liabilities. Remember, these traits aren't flaws—they're parts of us that can work beautifully when calibrated correctly.
Throughout the episode, I reference insights from Alfred Adler, Gabor Maté, and Bessel van der Kolk, who all explore how our experiences shape our personalities and coping styles. Understanding these influences helps us navigate our paths to recovery and self-growth. If you're interested in diving deeper, I recommend checking out The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté.
Let's get together and start making those small adjustments to dial in the life we want. I’m so excited for you to join me on this journey!
Welcome back, friends, to another episode of the Worth Recovery Podcast. I’m Amy, and today I’m sharing an episode I recorded two years ago about trauma responses. This episode is deeply personal, as it includes memories from my own childhood trauma. I’m sharing these experiences not to compare my trauma to anyone else’s but to help us all better understand how our pasts can impact our behaviors and lives, often without us realizing it.
Many of us enter recovery without fully understanding our histories or how they’ve shaped us. We might think we had a great childhood or struggle to remember parts of it at all. As I recount my experiences, I hope to offer insights into how trauma memories can resurface, sometimes many years into sobriety, as they did for me.
In this episode, I discuss a traumatic experience from my childhood that I’ve struggled to remember clearly. Through therapy, I’ve come to understand that different types of memory exist, including emotional and bodily memories, which can resurface unexpectedly. My journey has shown me that the process of uncovering and healing from trauma can be slow and nonlinear. It took me ten years of sobriety to begin to understand some of my own trauma.
I also talk about how our bodies can react to trauma in ways we might not expect. A routine dental visit unexpectedly triggered a traumatic memory for me, revealing a past assault I hadn’t fully understood. This experience emphasized the importance of having a supportive network and allowing ourselves time to heal and understand our trauma.
Finally, I remind listeners that it’s okay to take your time when sharing your own experiences. Vulnerability can be daunting, but sharing when you feel ready can be empowering and healing. I hope this episode helps you in your journey to understanding your own life and experiences.
In this episode of The Worth Recovery Podcast, I'm celebrating 11 years of sobriety since December 2, 2012. Reflecting on this milestone, I explore how crucial self-worth is in the recovery process. This episode, recorded six months ago, delves into my thoughts and experiences during my 11th year of sobriety, offering insights I've gained along the way.
Over the years, I’ve worked with many clients, witnessing how love and relationship addictions manifest uniquely for each person. Despite the differences, the core symptoms are often strikingly similar. I plan to dive deeper into these observations in future episodes, so stay tuned!
One key takeaway from my journey is that you cannot shame yourself into meaningful change; you can only love yourself into it. In 2011, I chose bottom and decided it was time to seek help. Finding a therapist and joining a 12-step group were pivotal steps for me. These experiences taught me three invaluable lessons: I was not alone, people understood and believed me, and shame was more of a hindrance than a help.
A significant turning point was when I realized that shame was blocking me from accepting positive feedback and love. My therapist’s analogy of having a bucket in my heart without a bottom really hit home. It made me see that self-worth and self-love were essential for holding onto the good in my life.
I began focusing on building my self-worth, understanding that I was worthy of recovery, love, and happiness. This shift allowed me to show up differently in my life, embracing my value and the positive changes that came my way.
One book that played a significant role in my journey was Brené Brown’s "I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)." Brown’s message that everyone is worthy of love and belonging right now, without any prerequisites, profoundly impacted my recovery.
Today, I want to encourage you to recognize your inherent worth. Understand that you are not alone in your struggles. Recovery is possible, and embracing your self-worth is a vital step in that journey. Remember, you are Worth Recovery.
Thanks for tuning in, and I look forward to sharing more with you in the next episode. Until then, take care and keep believing in your worth!
Amy
What role does Discipline play in your recovery? Do you need more discipline in order to get where you want to be?
In this episode, Amy discusses the three types of discipline needed for recovery - Preventative, Supportive, and Corrective. She offers tools and help for each type for your to implement in your personal recovery.
Are you engaging in your recovery?
Every year I pick a word for the year that encapsulates my intentions for the next 12 months. This year, the word is Engage. Listen to how and why I chose the word, what it means to me, and what you can do to engage in your recovery on a deeper level!
The longer I've been a coach and therapist, the more I realize recovery has a whole vocabulary all it's own! I use words people have never heard or analogies most have never heard of. So many times people ask me to define certain ideas, concepts, or words and want to know how it might work.
In today's episode, I define the concept of "Holding Space" and discuss why we need it, how we do it, and what gets in the way. Have you ever considered if you can hold space for yourself or what that would look like? Do you know the breakdown of what happens when we hold space for others or they hold space for us? What gets in the way of this happening for you? By the end of the episode you'll know all the answers and more!
Over and over, we begin again.
I believe the practice of beginning again is one of the single most significant gifts you can give yourself. This is the work of recovery. After several months of no new episodes and a few years of false starts and on and off again engagement, I begin again. Isn't that what we all do? We re-engage. We start over. We begin anew. Hopefully you'll have the courage to do the same in whatever area you need to in your life.
And hopefully you'll allow me to do that same.
All my love!
Amy
Do you feel stuck? Sometimes, during my 10 year sobriety journey, I have felt very stuck and very upset about being stuck. In this episode, I talk about how sometimes we keep ourselves stuck. Not all the time, but sometimes we are our worst enemy in what we are willing to do for our own recovery. You're not stuck because you can't, you're stuck because you won't.
Today, December 2, 2022, I celebrate 10 years sober. In this episode I talk about some of the thinking that had to change for me to achieve this accomplishment and how believing is seeing when it comes to our recovery.
Continuing our Worth Reading series, I share one of the books that was fundamental to my mindset work. I was struggling with my people pleasing behaviors when my therapist recommended this book. In this episode, I share the pieces of this book that had the most influence on me.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
In this second part, we continue our discussion about the 12 dimensions of courtship including intimacy, touching, foreplay, intercourse, commitment, and renewal. These later stages of courtship are some of the hardest things we do in relationships.
These dimensions come from "Facing the Shadow" a workbook on sex addiction from Dr. Patrick Carnes.
The goal of sex addiction recovery isn't sobriety. Sobriety is a tool we use. But the actual goal of sex addiction recovery is that you have amazing relationships! Relationships that bring renewal and energy to your life! Relationships that fill you and become an asset to you. These types of relationships require an understanding of what Courtship is and the different dimensions that courtship can follow.
Thankfully, Dr. Patrick Carnes has outlined these dimensions and given us a pattern we could follow to help us learn new skills. Using these dimensions I discuss where we can sometimes get stuck and what skills we need to get ourselves unstuck as we work to improve our relationships.
For decades we've been viewing addiction through the disease lens. Before that, it was a moral failing. What is next as we increase our knowledge and understanding about what addiction exactly is and how it starts in our lives?
In this episode I share how my view of addiction has changed over time and how I gauge what is helpful in my own recovery from addiction.
Worth Reading is a series of podcasts where I share my review of books that have had meaning to me throughout the recovery process.
Today I reflect on "Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships" by Kelly McDaniel. Kelly does a beautiful job explaining some of the unique considerations that need to be made for women in recovery from love, relationship, or sex addiction. I share some of the most meaningful insights she provides and expand on how they impacted me in recovery.
In December 2021, I celebrated my 9 year sobriety anniversary. Wow! 9 Years Sober! One of my clients asked me, what has changed in my life since becoming sober? In this episode I share my top 10 changes in my life with longer term sobriety and recovery. I hope this helps you think about where you're going in recovery and what longer term sobriety and recovery and help you achieve!
Evolution is a necessary part of life. As we grow and change, it is necessary to reevaluate our recovery and our life. Our beliefs, practices, thinking patterns and perspectives need to change and keep up with our growth. In this episode I discuss how evolution happens and how we can evaluate our recovery to level up.
You can download the episode worksheet here.
Happy New Year! Welcome to 2022!
After a long hiatus of podcasting, I'm at it again. January is my favorite month of the year. I simply LOVE New Year's, and every year make a major plan with goals, accountability charts, and even a PowerPoint presentation for motivation!
In this episode, we explore how to implement a change in a way that will last. Vision + Skills + Incentives + Resources + Action Plan = Sustainable Change
You can download the diagram here.
Sexuality is unique for each person. However, abuse is never a healthy part of sexuality. In this episode, I explore the connection between BDSM and abuse with Kristal Garcia. Kristal is a self-identified recovering sex and love addict. Her story can be found on a previous episode of Worth Recovery. Here we define and discuss what exactly BDSM is and the challenges of this community.
More information about Kristal can be found here: https://www.openheartsunite.org/
Motivation.... how do you get it? how do you keep it? how do you refuel it? This is one of the most common questions I get! So in this episode I share with you my ideas on how to find and keep motivation. I spell out a three part plan and share some of my own experiences. Remember: Motivation comes to me from the inside, I am my own motivator!
Until next time,
Amy
Episode 001: My Recovery Plan
New Series Announcement! I'm super excited to start a new series this month - Worth Reading. The 4th week of every month this year we will discuss or explore a book that had significant impact in my own recovery journey. We will start today with Alcoholics Anonymous - Big Book.
In this episode I discuss my love for reading and why reading has always meant so much to me. Then we explore the history of the Big Book and how it paved the way for so many of the recovery resources available today. Last, I go chapter by chapter and share with you some of my favorite quotes and how they impacted my recovery.
What books have impacted your recovery?
One of the questions people consistently ask me is about the ONE THING that made the difference in my recovery. That is an impossible question to answer, of course. And I give my best attempt in this episode. Let me share with you part of my journey to self-awareness.
Continuing my work to get more and more women's recovery stories out there - que Lisa. She is amazing. I was truly inspired by her compassion and empathy towards those she encountered on her road to recovery. I am honored to bring her story to you. Remember, when we share our story or hear the stories of others, a new piece in our own life heals. That was definitely the case with Lisa. I'm forever grateful for her willingness to share so much with us!
2020 was not my best year. While I learned a lot and had some great opportunities and wins, there were many things that didn't happen. I'm calling it the year of false starts. It took a toll on me and on Worth Recovery. However, I'm doing the work to change that. In this episode I discuss how shame and guilt have kept me frozen and not moving forward and how learning to love myself through the process has been the most rewarding.
What an amazing opportunity to have Kristal Garcia on the podcast! I was inspired by her radical self-love and forgiveness. I was challenged by her confidence and boldness. I was changed by her story. Every time I hear the story of another woman, a little piece of my heart heals. That was definitely the case here.
You can read about Kristal and hear here stories here: https://www.kristaldenisegarcia.com/
The video that inspired me that I cite on the episode is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPLBdWyHL8
Emotions. They are beautiful and make us human AND they are difficult and can make us fearful. In this episode I share with you a recent problem I had with tending to my own emotions. I hope you take some time today and tend to your emotions.
I love having guests on the podcast. I love it even more when they are women sharing their own recovery journey. Rosario is a brave young woman sharing her battle with sex and love addiction. She discusses her struggle with religion and relationships. She shares how bad it got and what made it better. She talks about how self-compassion is the way she started to find healing and what her recovery looks like today.
I'm on a journey to share as many women's stories as I can during the rest of 2020! Do you want to share your story? It doesn't matter where you are in your recovery journey - at the beginning or many years in - your story is important and can make a huge difference for people. I'd love to have you on the podcast! Reach out! amy@worthrecovery.com and let's make it happen!
Connection is such a necessary part of life. Yet, for so many reasons it feels scary and unsafe. With everything else going on the world right now - pandemics, civil unrest, social distancing, protests, etc. - connection is every more essential than ever.
Why?
Try this Ted Talk by Johann Hari
Or this one by Brene Brown
In this episode I discuss why we need connection and the offer four invitations for you to connect.
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Worth Recovery Women's Stories Series
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The Worth Circle - online FaceBook support group
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Recovery Coaching
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Call and connect with me - go to the Recovery Coaching page and schedule a call with me. I'd love to connect, even if you're not interested in coaching.
There is a whole lot going on right now. As we grasp for information we don't have a whole lot of expectations are being put on us and how we should be responding to this pandemic. Truth is we're living in unprecedented times. Times that have never before been experienced by anyone currently alive. It's important, now more than ever, that we truly understand ourselves, our position, and our pace. I burnt out quickly the first few weeks of quarantine and was a mess by week 3. In this episode, I share some of the thinking that helped me pull myself together again. I hope it's helpful for you. And a reminder: Always stay kind.
Poem referred to in the episode: https://www.oprahmag.com/entertainment/a31747557/and-the-people-stayed-home-poem-kitty-omeara-interview/
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
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Announcements:
I’d love to connect with you! If you want to talk about coaching, the worth circle, online sex addiction groups – OR if you just want to talk to someone who gets it – schedule a time with me here: https://worthrecovery.com/recovery-coaching/
Interested in learning more about the Worth Circle? Awesome, I’d love to tell you. You can either schedule a time to talk to me above or check out the website with more information here: https://worthrecovery.com/worthcircle/
Want to join my sex addiction groups for women starting in May, 2020? I’d love to have you! You can email me, schedule a time to talk or read more here: https://www.healingpathsrecovery.com/events/
You can always email me: amy@worthrecovery.com
Alice Taylor is the author of "Restored: A Women's Guide to Overcoming Pornography", a book full of amazing, practical tools to help you in your recovery. She generously agreed to share her story with us as part of our Women's Stories series. I'm grateful for her courage.
You can read more about her story and order Restored at her website: https://thegracespot.com/
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Announcements:
I’d love to connect with you! If you want to talk about coaching, the worth circle, online sex addiction groups – OR if you just want to talk to someone who gets it – schedule a time with me here: https://worthrecovery.com/recovery-coaching/
Interested in learning more about the Worth Circle? Awesome, I’d love to tell you. You can either schedule a time to talk to me above or check out the website with more information here: https://worthrecovery.com/worthcircle/
Want to join my sex addiction groups for women starting in May, 2020? I’d love to have you! You can email me, schedule a time to talk or read more here: https://www.healingpathsrecovery.com/events/
You can always email me: amy@worthrecovery.com
Free Fall is an opportunity to reorganize your life really quickly. In a matter of moments/days/weeks things can look really different. At least it has the potential to. But we must look at falling with intentionality and not fear. In this episode I share one of my first moments of free fall when I got laid off from a job in 2015 and the impact that had on my life. There was an exercise I did that helped me to be intentional about what I let fall into my life and what I let fall out of my life. I hope it is as helpful for you as it was for me.
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Announcements:
I'd love to connect with you! If you want to talk about coaching, the worth circle, online sex addiction groups - OR if you just want to talk to someone who gets it - schedule a time with me here: https://worthrecovery.com/recovery-coaching/
Interested in learning more about the Worth Circle? Awesome, I'd love to tell you. You can either schedule a time to talk to me above or check out the website with more information here: https://worthrecovery.com/worthcircle/
Want to join my sex addiction groups for women starting in May? I'd love to have you! You can email me, schedule a time to talk or read more here: https://www.healingpathsrecovery.com/events/
You can always email me: amy@worthrecovery.com
How many days have you been alone in your house? Or at least felt alone, whether you actually were or not? Have you struggled with loneliness during other times in your life? Me, too. In this episode, I share my current thoughts on where our world is, and three of the strategies that helped me learn to work through my own loneliness.
In addition - I'd love to connect with you!
Schedule a 30 minute window to talk here: https://worthrecovery.com/recovery-coaching/ Feel free to schedule - even if you're not interested in coaching - I'd love to just connect with you.
Join the Worth Circle here: https://worthrecovery.com/worthcircle/
Awesome things are coming here at Worth Recovery!
In the conclusion of Natalie's story, we hear more about her recovery journey, the groups she attended, the problems she has faced in finding help, as well as more about her current relationship. Each time I hear stories of others a piece of me heals. I definitely found that to be true with Natalie. I hope you find that to be true for yourself as well.
There are great resources available for women in the UK. Natalie generously compiled a list of for those seeking help:
Domestic abuse help for woman
Welsh women’s aid https://www.welshwomensaid.org.uk
Womans aid UK https://www.womensaid.org.uk
Abuse help For men
Men's advice line https://mensadviceline.org.uk
For any gender
Live fear free helpline https://gov.wales/live-fear-free
National abuse helpline https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
Safe line https://www.safeline.org.uk
Sexual assault / abuse help
Sexual Assault and Referral Centres https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/
The survivors trust https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org
New pathways http://www.newpathways.org.uk
NHS information and help line https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/help-after-rape-and-sexual-assault/
Addiction recovery support
CAIS (the living room Cardiff and other centres in wales) https://www.cais.co.uk
24 hr Support
The Samaritans 24hr support line https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Part 2 of Natalie's Story: Another brave woman coming forward to share her story! I'm always so honored when women are willing to share their story with us! Natalie is from the UK and is an amazing trauma survivor and recovery addict. I've had the privilege of knowing her for just over three years and am continually impressed with her resilience and engagement in recovery. In this 3 part story, Natalie shares her family history, trauma story, and her brave recovery journey. Every time I hear the story of another woman, a new piece of me heals.
Another brave woman coming forward to share her story! I'm always so honored when women are willing to share their story with us! Natalie is from the UK and is an amazing trauma survivor and recovery addict. I've had the privilege of knowing her for just over three years and am continually impressed with her resilience and engagement in recovery. In this 3 part story, Natalie shares her family history, trauma story, and her brave recovery journey. Every time I hear the story of another woman, a new piece of me heals.
I have a love/hate relationship with boundaries. At least, I used to. Boundaries are what keep us safe. Having good boundaries can be life changing. We never really know just how life-changing until we start to live with good boundaries. In this episode, I partner with Jackie Pack from the Thanks For Sharing Podcast to discuss boundaries. Jackie and I work together as One Layer Deeper. We'd love to spend a year exploring Boundaries with you. Learn more about the boundary box here: https://onelayerdeeper.com/the-boundary-box/
It's a new year, it's close to my sobriety anniversary, and it's my birthday! All these things happen within a few weeks of each other. This provides a great opportunity to evaluate my "bottom line" behaviors, or my sobriety definition, or my Level 4 behaviors, or whatever it is that you call the things you don't do anymore!
Many times, at the beginning of recovery, we're not sure exactly what we need to do in order to get sober. We're not sure what counts or doesn't count as a slip or a relapse. The reality is that you need to make that determination. As I just celebrated my 7 year sobriety anniversary, I thought it was a good time to evaluate my Level 4 behaviors. In this episode, I walk you through the tool I've created and use with my coaching clients to define my sobriety and how that has evolved over time.
Download the worksheet here!
It's a new year and it's my annual time to evaluate my life and decide what the next step looks like for me. My goal for this year is to be OPEN. In this episode I share with you how our lives in recovery can end us in isolation and make us feel closed off. To move to our next level of recovery requires us to be OPEN. Can't wait to share that with you!
As you evolve, everything in your life must evolve. If your evolution during recovery doesn't flow out to the other areas of your life, you could wake up one day and wonder what is going on?!?! In this episode, I talk about some of the evolutions I've had to make in recovery and how they have impacted my life.
We recently celebrated Memorial Day here in the USA. This is a day we recognize all those who have made sacrifices for the freedoms we live with and enjoy. This amplified the recent thoughts I've been having about the price of freedom - not political freedom - personal freedom.
In this episode I share some of the prices I've paid for the freedom I have from addiction as well as the current struggle I'm facing to pay the price for the next level of freedom and recovery I want for my life.
How about you? What is the price for your next level of recovery?
All my love,
Amy
You've heard the phrase - If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. And while that applies in almost all cases, I also think if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly. In this episode I'll give you some examples of things worth doing, even if done poorly. And hopefully, give you some encouragement to get you through.
I know you've heard the term: compartmentalize. Maybe you've even heard it glorified and bragged about by people. I'm so good at compartmentalizing my life! And while it can be an effective coping strategy - that is all it is a copying strategy. It helps you survive. However, I'm tired of surviving. I want to thrive. In this episode, I share how I keep mindful of the danger of compartmentalization and a few strategies I've used to become a more integrated, congruent person.
You asked - I'm answering. You wanted to know how I do an evaluation of my life, how I make connections, how I know there is something off and how do I dig deeper into what that is and find clarity. In this episode, I share with you two of tools I use to identify what is off in my life. These tools have helped me for years in identifying where I need to put my focus and energy. I hope they help you as well!
I'm resurrecting an episode that had gotten lost in the archives. Family relationships are hard! We enter recovery thinking that they will get better - that everything will get better! We don't always realize that things don't get better right away. We have to work through so much of the patterns and cycles that we've been in for a long time! Many people ask me how I can still have a relationship with my family when things are so dysfunctional?? Here is my answer!
Jackie and I are EXCITED about what we are doing with One Layer Deeper (1LD). Are you looking to go one layer deeper in your recovery? Then maybe one of our intensives or webinars is right for you! In this episode we talk about how our family of origin contributes so much to our relational template. This template is the foundation from which we operation. It is the template for how we engage with others around us. When this relational template is damaged, it takes hard work to change it and thus dramatically transform our relationships. You can do it! We want to help!
http://onelayerdeeper.com
The first step of connection is departure. - Delta Airlines
We change, we have to, or we spend the rest of our lives fighting the same battles! - Captain James T. Kirk (Star Trek: Beyond)
What do these two quotes have to do with each other? They are two quotes that have resonated as truth with me the last few weeks. The beginning of the year is always a reflective time for me and as I've been thinking about you, I've thought a lot about what departures I need to make in my life. I hope this helps you connect!
Let's keep talking gaslighting!! In this episode we will continue our conversation about what gaslighting is, how you know if that is happening to you, and how to get out!! That is the most important - how you get out of this situation.
Have you heard the term gaslighting? Do you know what it means? Are you currently or have you been a victim? In a recent coaching conversation, I was reminded of just how dangerous this behavior is and how damaging it can be to our lives. In part 1, I share a few examples from my own life of gaslighting and define what gaslighting is and where the term comes from. In part 2 - next episode - we will dig into the details of how it manifests and what to do about it!
Do you ever feel like everyone is pulling you down or holding you back? Yeah - crabs do that. Learn what crab mentality is and how it shows up in recovery as Amy shares some of her crab moments. Let's be builders!
Every semester I give the same "speech" to my math students as we begin class together. This fall, as I was sharing it again, it hit me just how recovery minded the whole thing is! Hard to believe I didn't catch that before. I share it with you to help you build hope for the big task that is recovery and as insight into what exactly we are all working to recover from!
Getting current is one of the first skills we can gain in recovery. In learning how to share our current reality, we learn how to accept where we are. Once we accept where we are, we can actually make changes. Change can only happen when we accept our current situation. Getting current is how we begin to do that. In this episode, I share the importance of getting current and the obligation we have to do that in healthy adult relationships. Also - I want to get current with you on what has been going on for me the last few months.
Continuing our deep dive into Step 10, Amy discusses the third concept from Step 10 - When we were wrong, we promptly admitted it. Step 10 is the time we really start to focus on the present moment and our present life. We have cleaned up a large portion of our past and are ready to really focus on the present. This means we become more and more aware of our actions in the moment and how they are impacting ourselves and those around us. Step 10 gives us tools to build awareness and how to mitigate the impact of our current actions. We stop fighting with people and we start admitting we are wrong.
Everyone has a right to speak their truth. If others don't agree with you, that doesn't invalidate your truth. If you don't speak your truth, it becomes toxic sitting inside of you. These are three realities that I've experienced over the last several months. Especially the last one. When I don't speak the truth of what is going on inside of me and what I'm experiencing, I end up at the bottom of a shame pit I dug for myself. That is where I'm at today and that is why I need to speak that out loud. It helped me so much. I hope it helps you as well!
Did you know that Self-Care was finally added to the dictionary? You now have a legitimate resource to help you prioritize taking care of yourself. If it’s in the dictionary – it’s real! Now, we need to look at what the definition of self-care is and what areas of our life we need to maintain and upkeep ourselves. It’s so much more than a pedicure or a night out with friends. Listen to Amy discuss what she is doing on a daily basis and how to re-define self-care for yourself.
The Implementation Dip is a massive part of the change process. It has been studied in education for decades and is a massive part of the strategic planning. It shows us that when we first start to change and put in maximum effort, we aren’t going to see the result we want right away. In fact, we will see a dip in our performance and results. In this episode, Amy explains what the implementation dip is, how it effects us in recovery, and shares her methods for navigating this dip.
Links to additional insights about the Implementation Dip:
This one includes graphs for you to look at!!!
http://www.saspa.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Fullan_The_Six_Secrets_of_Change-1.pdf
http://www.ghaea.org/files/IowaCoreCurriculum/Module1/Mod1-FullanChangeLeaderArticle.pdf
https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=fYSBCwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA212&dq=the+implementation+dip&ots=OjMjIzTZyW&sig=4e9VF2PgCQxMaDp1PDVDih16oVo#v=onepage&q=the%20implementation%20dip&f=false
https://insights.sei.cmu.edu/devops/2016/09/three-strategies-to-minimize-the-implementation-dip-in-devops.html
Continuing our look at Step 10, Amy dives into what exactly “Personal Inventory” is and why we need it in our recovery process. The ability accurately self-appraise comes with practice and in time, yet it is a skill that can make the difference in the progress of our recovery.
Marnie Feree is one of the pioneers of sex addiction recovery for women. Having been in addiction recovery for over 20 years - she was one of the first to ever show up in the 12-step circle as a woman. She conintues her work for women at Bethesda Workshops (http://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/), the first outpatient intensive program for women in sex addiction. In this episode, Marnie shares some of her own story and the amazing work she does for women and teens in recovery.
We need our emotions. They keep us alive. They make the world worth living. If we couldn't feel pain, joy, fear, anger, or love what would we do with ourselves? We need them. AND we need to keep them in perspective and in their proper place. And that place is NOT in the driver's seat! In the concluding episode on this series, Amy talks about how we EVICT the emotions from the driver’s seat and take back the wheel. She offer 6 great ways to get emotions OUT of the driver’s seat and back where they belong.
Picking up the series on the 12 steps of recovery, Amy discusses Step 10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. When we reach step 10 in our journey, we have done A LOT of work! So much work! And there can be a tendency to back down the intensity of the work that we have done. Step 10 is a call to action – listen to Amy describe some of the things we must Continue to do if we are going to continue down the road of recovery.
We need our emotions. They keep us alive. They make the world worth living. If we couldn't feel pain, joy, fear, anger, or love what would we do with ourselves? We need them. AND we need to keep them in perspective and in their proper place. And that place is NOT in the driver's seat! Listen to Amy talk about where our emotions need to be - and how you can figure out who's driving your path.
In the conclusion of our series about the Karpman Drama Triangle we discuss how to GET OUT! There is preventative work we can do so we don't get sucked in. And there are things we can once we get inside to create space and help us navigate out of the triangle. You can change and learn to have healthy relationships! I hope this helps!
Resource links:
https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/
https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/thenewdramatriangles.pdf
https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/
https://lindagraham-mft.net/triangle-victim-rescuer-persecutor-get/
https://pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2016/01/breaking-out-of-the-drama-triangle/
http://powerofted.com/the-empowerment-triangle/
According to a recent poll, 9 out of 10 recovering addicts said that having a sponsor was ESSENTIAL to their sobriety and recovery. That was definitely the case for me. And just as important to my recovery has been BEING a sponsor. It has made me grow in ways I didn’t even know I needed to. In this episode I discuss 5 of the major gifts that being a sponsor gave to me and share with you an exciting new program from Worth Recovery: The Sponsor Academy.
Episode 38: 5 Reasons you Need a Sponsor
The Sponsor Academy Registration
In the continuation of the drama series, I discuss how amazingly quickly we can shift between roles on the triangle. It is SO CRAZY! We all have our favorite chair, our gateway into the drama. However, we don't stay there. We never stay there. Using several personal and other examples, I share with you just how quickly we can make ourselves sick on the cyclone of drama as we ping around from corner to corner. You'll want to get off! I promise!
I have been so touched recently by how many of you have reached out asking questions or wanting to connect. It is hard to reach out! It is hard to ask for help. In this episode, I share emails from two recent listeners wanting some connection and help. Are you wanting connection and help? Reach out! Let's start connecting!
Episode links:
Episode 42: Slips & Falls, Part 1, http://worthrecovery.com/ep-042-slips-and-falls-part-1/
Episode 44: Slips & Falls, Part 2, http://worthrecovery.com/ep-044-slips-falls-part-2/
Slip Autoposy Worksheet, http://worthrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/SlipAutopsy.pdf
Once in recovery, the unmanageability of our lives slows down, thankfully. Yet, there sometimes remains an element of drama in our relationships. We ask ourselves, why is this happening to me? why do I seem to attract these people into my life? What is going on? Find out why this is happening to you in this episode on the Drama Triangle!
Loss is hard. Grieving is hard. So many opinions, so many ideas, so many expectations to navigate. After attending the funeral for my sweet friends mother, my heart was so grateful for the things I've learned about grief. In this episode, I share some of the lessons grief has taught me recently and the hope I feel about the grieving process.
With guests Jackie P. and Jon T. from the Thanks for Sharing Podcast, we announce and disucss new opportunities for those looking to start dating in recovery. While there is a lot of support around those wanting to get sober, when you're ready to start dating, there are a lot of questions. Where do you start? What boundaries do you need? What are the stages of relationships? How do I do this in a healthy way?? That is what Dating in Recovery is all about! Jackie, Jon and I discuss some of these quesitons and give you things to look for when you're ready to start dating again! You can find our more about Dating in Recovery at: www.onelayerdeeper.com.
My mom has always told me: Amy, you have the grades you are willing to pay the price for. Amy, you have the spirituality you are willing to pay the price for. Amy, you have the piano skills you are willing to pay the price for. Everything we have in our lives are things we are paying a price for. We pay a price to live in active addiction. We pay a price to live in recovery. We pay a price to have the relationships we do. In this episode, I explore what it is you are paying the price for, and how you move to the next level of recovery you are looking for!
Telling our story is hard and scary. Publishing it for anyone to read is a whole different level. In this episode I interview Erica Garza, author of "Getting Off: One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction". Her new book tells about her experiences in her own life. You'll love hearing her story.
I think we've all been there.... the place where we have to start over, again. And we start asking ourselves - is it worth it? I've tried this before and couldn't make it work. Maybe I'm just broken beyond repair? Maybe I just can't get sober, stay sober, date, be successful, have a relationship, or any other number of things in our lives that we want. Why keep putting myself through this?? I feel that way right now. I hope by sharing my experience with you - and my willingness - you will also have the courage to try again.
When we grow up in dysfunctional systems, we learn to protect ourselves. One of those survival mechanisms is keeping ourselves small, invisible, unknown. At the same time, we often develop a hyper vigilance to thosearound us and feel like we know everything about them. Or we can go the opposite way--overexposing ourselves and being shameless in our interactions with others. Listen to Amy share her experiences with the courage and desire to be known and how we can do a little bit more of that in our own lives.
Our world is not linear. Yet, many times we think that is how it “should” be. We work through something, trauma, addiction, relationships, mother issues, or whatever it is, we feel some resolution around it, and we think that is over. Then weeks, months, or maybe even years later, something happens and here we are stuck back in the middle of it again. We say to ourselves – I worked through this already – why am I here again?? You’re here again because our world is not linear. Listen to Amy talk about her experiences with circling back and how we can use the principles of Non-Euclidean Geometry in our recovery.
Using a recent entry from her journal, Amy discusses daily courage. How do we find the daily courage needed to face the overwhelm we sometimes feel? How do we practically find the courage to stay present, say no, trust others and challenge the scarcity mindset we sometimes find ourselves in? In this episode, Amy offers some suggestions on how we build and maintain courage in our lives and issues the challenge: What courage to you need today?
Committing to recovery takes courage. Especially in those early days when you aren’t quite able to stay sober or when every step you take feels like the wrong one. Commitment is needed when you’ve been doing recovery for a while and you realize that it’s not quite working for you anymore. Using her experience in education, Amy talks about developing a Growth Mindset and how that builds and gives us courage to fully commit to recovery.
Recorded on a recent trip to California, Amy shares some of her recent experiences requiring the courage to slow down. In our world, it is easy to give into the break-necking speed of our society and culture. What we really need, in order to be successful in recovery, is the courage to slow down and live what is right in front of us, love who is in front of us and take care of the needs right in front of us.
Are you ready for 2018? In this episode Amy shares how her current depression has gotten the better of her for planning this next year and how she is finding the courage to start again. Join her in the Year of Courage!
Thanks for Sharing Podcast: https://healingpathsrecovery.com/podcast/
In this episode Amy celebrates her sobriety anniversary of 5 YEARS SOBER! She sha
res the three big principles that helped her get this far and why milestones are important to recognize.
Joyce was in sex addiction recovery for years before she ever saw another woman. After a few years, she left recovery and thought she had it all together. When tragedy struck, she came back and was surprised to find and see other women. Listen to part 2 of Amy’s great interview with Joyce.
Joyce was in sex addiction recovery for years before she ever saw another woman. After a few years, she left recovery and thought she had it all together. When tragedy struck, she came back and was surprised to find and see other women. Listen to part 1 of Amy’s great interview with Joyce.
After listening to a song from her nieces and nephews, Amy reflects and expresses her gratitude to the women who came before her. Finding gratitude in Recovery is not always an easy feat. Sometimes we use it as a way to bypass our emotions or it is used as a weapon against us. Reclaiming gratitue in a way that works for you is essential to recovery. Listen to how Amy did that for herself.
Expectations control our entire life. The way we behave and feel about ourselves is mostly driven by the hidden expectations that run our lives. In the continuation of the Letting Go series, Amy tells about her experiences with understanding expectations and shares three important principles she has learned about letting go of the expectations that were running her life before recovery.
In this episode, Amy shares some personal news and discusses how our experiences can help to broaden our view and drive us to connect with others. Sometimes, we instead, choose to pull away and isolate from others when things happen. However, allowing our experiences to broaden our view instead of narrow it, is part of living a full life in recovery.
Continuing their interview, Sally shares with Amy what it was like to write and share her 1st step with her support circle. She shares some of her experiences in recovery and her life. We, at Worth Recovery, feel honored to Sally would share with us and through us, all of you.
Continuing our Women's Stories series, Sally shares her first written 1st step with us here at Worth Recovery. Her story is one of faith, hope, perseverence, and love.
Fall brings changing leaves, cooler temperatures, and everything pumpkin spice. And fall brings many lessons for us to learn. To everything there is a season, and every season brings lessons from nature for all of us to learn. Fall brings the lesson of letting go. Listen as Amy explores the ideas of letting go in recovery.
I never thought as a child that I wanted to grow up to be a sex addict. That wasn't the course I was on. Life knocked me a few degrees here and there along my journey. Without course corrections, we end up a long way from our original destination. A few degrees can make all the difference on where we end up and the course of our recovery.
During the month of July we celebrate Independence Day in the United States. Amy shares her feelings on declaring her independence from addiction and how that has impacted her life. Celebrating the day you declare independence is just as important as celebrating the day you won your independence, your sobriety date. What victories can you celebrate today?
We just finished our event in Seattle Washington and I wanted to share with you the three impact moments for me.
Continuing from Episode 95, Amy shares more about her spiritual healing process. Recovery is a healing process that requires dedicated effort and time. That healing has to happen physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The second principle of spiritual healing that Amy shares in this episode is prioritization of our spiritual life. If we really are suffering from "an illness only a spiritual experience can conquer" (from the AA Big Book, then our spiritual connection is more important than ever! Listen to Amy share how she changed and prioritized her spiritual recovery.
When my nephew told me, "Adults are not to be trusted", it broke my heart. I hurt for him and his current reality AND I hurt for the feeling of familiarity I felt when he said that. Trust is a difficult thing. Learning to trust ourselves and to keep our word is an essential step in recovery. In this episode, I share some of the ways I've learned to be better at this thing we call honesty.
Healing happens on purpose. In this episode, Amy shares the year she became intentional about her recovery. It is easy to float along in recovery, trying different things, dipping our toes into many options and moving on before we see results. It is also easy to keep doing things out of habit but not really evalutating to see if the action is having the intented impact. Learn how to be more intentional as well as more about our event in Seattle this summer.
Learn more about Aaron Glade here.
Learn more about Heidi Kinsella here.
Learn more about Staci Sprout here.
Register for Intentional Recovery in Washington here!
So much of living in recovery is living in the in-between times: the time from where we were to where we want to be. Whether it's the space between denial and awareness, the space between addiction and sobriety, the space between feeling lost and feeling direction, these in-between times make up so much of our lives. These spaces are places of extreme, hope and despair, love and loss, forward and backward movement, pull and push. How do we live there? How do we find the courage and patience to stay in recovery during these times? In this episode, Amy talks about the three major lessons she has learned living in the in between and three tools that help you move forward!
Continuing the journey through the 12 steps, Amy concludes the discussion of Step 9 with this episode: It Works When I Work It. The SAA Green Book guides us through a 5 step process in how we actually go about making amends for the wrongs we have done. In this episode, Amy discusses this process and gives examples from her own experiences. Cleaning up the wreckage of our past is essential in order to move forward with a solid foundation.
So much of recovery is a healing process. Healing of mind, body, and spirit. The SA White Book tells us that healing has to come about in three areas of our lives - emotional healing, physical healing, and spiritual healing. I recently was able to prepare some thoughts for a women's retreat about spiritual healing. As I studied and prepared, so many things went through my head. In the next few episodes, I will take some time to share some of my own process of spiritual healing.
Are you tired of saying you're sorry? Picking back up the series on the 12 steps of Recovery, Amy continues the discussion on Step 9: Made direct amends whenever possible, expect when to do so would injure them or others. Making amends is more than just apologies or saying we are sorry. It takes a complete attitude change. Listen to Amy share a portion of that changed attitude and how to approach amends from a helpful place.
Everything in our physical world around us cycles. Weather, plants, and animals are just a few of the things that cycle. It makes sense then, that our own physical bodies would cycle as well. I'm not just talking about that time of the month, though I am including that. In this episode I share a bit about my own physical cycles and learning the importance of listening to our bodies.
Action Items:
- Begin tracking your monthly cycle and listening to the clues your body is giving you.
- Think bigger or smaller -- what other cycles do you go through physically and how are they effecting your life?
Music has been such a big part of my life. In our world we are surrounded by music. Are you using music intentionally in your recovery? In this episode I share the power music has had in my recovery and share several of the songs that have helped me stay sober. I'm excited to hear from you about how music has helped you and how you connect music to emotion.
Action Items:
- Eliminate some music from your library. In order for us to use music intentionally, we need to be careful about the music we consume. Find some music that needs to be eliminated from your library and do it today!
- Connect music to emotion. What is your primary emotion today? Find a song to connect to that emotion and help you express that emotion in your life.
- SHARE your emotion and song! Do it in the comments below or on Facebook or the Podbean app or iTunes - wherever you're listening to this - share with us your song!
In Part 2 with Shannon we discuss children, recovery journeys, daily routines and blogging. A few months ago, Shannon started blogging for Worth Recovery. Her words are real, authentic, relatable, inspiring and uplifting. Her story is the same. I'm excited to share with you a little bit of Shannon's experiences in recovery. You can read more about Shannon and her recovery journey at the blog: Worth Recovery Blog
A few months ago, Shannon started blogging for Worth Recovery. Her words are real, authentic, relatable, inspiring and uplifting. Her story is the same. I'm excited to share with you a little bit of Shannon's experiences in recovery. You can read more about Shannon and her recovery journey at the blog: Worth Recovery Blog
After listening (really watching) two friends have a heated argument on Facebook, I started to really pay attention to my usage of the word "but". I soon became aware of the problems this word was causing in my life. As I've worked to elliminate the word "but" from my vocabulary I've learned the power of a new word. The power of the word AND. I'm excited to share that power with you!!
Finding motivation and inspiration to stay in recovery is important. Those sources change as our recovery journey changes. Lately, as I've been working through grief and watching my mother slowing deteriorate, new motivation and inspiration has come from an unexpected source. Listen as I share my current source of courage and bravery.
In episode 80, I asked the question, are you All In when it comes to recovery? In episode 81 we discussed some of the distractors that prevent us from being all in. After a long few weeks and a thorough self-evaluation, in this episode we discuss the 3 major indicators we can use to assess whether or not we are All In when it comes to recovery or any other major area of our life.
Announcements:
Worth Recovery has welcomed Shannon to our team who will be blogging her recovery journey with us. You can view her thoughts at: www.worthrecovery.com/blog
Intentional Recovery: Healing Happens On Purpose - is happening in Seattle, WA this July! More information and registration can be found at: www.worthrecovery.com/events
Action Items for Today:
Use the three indicators we discuss today to evaluate your own recovery.
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Are you seeking appropriate accountability?
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Are you connecting and staying connected to your own emotions?
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Are you learning into the pain of your recovery so that you can fully heal?
Recently, as I've tried to acknowledge my own reality, I've been surprised by the variety of responses I've received. Whether it's friends, family, people in recovery, people out of recovery, as I've acknowledged the reality around me, I've been told to not think about it, ignore it, stop blaming, stop playing the victim. Society really teaches us not to acknowledge the difficult things in our lives. We're told not to dwell on the negative and not to focus on the difficult things. Dr. Bessel A. van der Kolk tells us: "As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself... The critical issues is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage." (Found in the Book: The Body Keeps The Score) Until we acknowledge our own reality - the past and the present, we can't heal or change it. In this episode I share four reasons why we don't acknowledgement things in our lives and the power acknowledgement gives us.
Homework: Identify two things in your life that you need to acknowledge that you have been avoiding. Write them down and share them with at least one person.
Sometimes we just miss our addiction. We know that the relationships we had and the behaviors we engaged in are unhealthy and they aren't serving us. However, they did serve a purpose in our life. They helped us escape and numb out from the chaos and unmanageability of our lives. Sometimes as we go through withdrawal and start to feel rather than escape, we miss those old relationships and behaviors. Prompted by a conversation with a friend in recovery, I wanted to share one of the things I did to get past a particularly difficult relationship.
Homework: Identify one thing you need to get past in your life. Maybe it is a relationship and maybe it is a behavior. Start thinking about the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. Write a letter you'll never send to help you complete that emotional connection and move past it.
Continuing this series from Episode 078, Megan and I finish our discussion about our Help Wanted ads. Moving Megan across the country was a jumbled bag of emotions. It was so fun to spend that time with her, Scott and Bronx. It was so fun to be on the road and drive and see new places! It was so hard to leave her there and fly home alone. In this continuation of our interview, we discuss what makes our relationship work including, our likes and dislikes, our confidence in meeting our own needs, and in our relationship skills.
Register for the Worth Recovery Event: "Engaged in the Struggle" in Salt Lake City, Utah! Use the promo code: podcastslc for $20 off registration!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Worth Recovery community or a question you would like answered on the podcast, email me at amy@worthrecovery.com.
Homework: Identify two characteristics of relationships that you need. Do you have those? How can you implement them better in your current relationships? If you need a new relationship, write your own help wanted ad and share it below!!
I just celebrated by 41st birthday!! During the day, three seemingly small things added up to an amazing day! As I was reflecting on these things, I wanted to share them with you. I hope you can build the hope that I did from these events. It is definitely the small things in recovery that give us the greatest results!!
Register for the Worth Recovery Event: "Engaged in the Struggle" in Salt Lake City, Utah! Use the promo code: podcastslc for $20 off registration!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Worth Recovery community or a question you would like answered on the podcast, email me at amy@worthrecovery.com.
Homework: What are three of your blessings today? Small things that maybe you aren't necessarily always noticing? By small and simple things, GREAT things happen!
Continuing our discussion on being ALL IN, I share with you my big three distrator behaviors! These are behaviors that prevent me (and probably you) from being ALL IN in our recovery journeys. These behaviors sneak into our lives, they aren't always exactly apparent. They are hard to see and sometimes the behavior itself prevents us from getting the true reflection of what we are doing. If we aren't making the progress we want in recovery - if we aren't getting the traction we need - we have some distractor behaviors going on in our lives! Let's figure it out!
Distractor #1: Spreading Out The Truth Distractor #2: Green Grass Syndrome Distractor #3: The Implementation Dip
Register for the Worth Recovery Event: "Engaged in the Struggle" in Salt Lake City, Utah! Use the promo code: podcastslc for $20 off registration!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Worth Recovery community or a question you would like answered on the podcast, email me at amy@worthrecovery.com.
Homework: List three of your major distraction behaviors that prevent you from being ALL IN in your recovery. Then share that list with one of your recovery partners! And share it with me below!!
In this episode I share with you a recent revelation I have had about my life. I'm holding back. I'm not ALL IN! Of course, this isn't the case in all areas of my life - but it is in some significant places. This recent realization drove me to consider the areas of my life where I am ALL IN. One of those areas is my recovery. I am ALL IN with my recovery! Are you? Are the 1 in 18 that will stay long term in recovery?
Links mentioned in the episode: 12-Step Statistics Does AA Really Work? Does Alcoholics Anonymous Work? Dr. Patrick Carnes on Sex Addiction
Register for the Worth Recovery Event: "Engaged in the Struggle" in Salt Lake City, Utah! Use the promo code: podcastslc for $20 off registration!
Register Here!
If you have a success story you would like to share with the Worth Recovery community or a question you would like answered on the podcast, email me at amy@worthrecovery.com.
Homework: Comment below and let me know where you are listening from and if you are committing to be ALL IN for your recovery!
With all the recent media coverage on rape and rape culture, Amy explores the idea of consent with CSAT therapist Jackie Pack. Jackie will be speaking and sharing her expertise at "Engaged In The Struggle," the upcoming Worth Recovery event in January. Listen to this great interview about what consent really means and how we get it all wrong.
As we continue to get healthier and upgrade our lives in recovery, it is essential that we upgrade our relationships along with it. Otherwise, we get stuck. While Amy helped moved her friend across the country, they discussed their relationship and what makes it work. Listen to them discuss the help wanted ads they are going to place!
In this preview episode, Amy interviews Lu Duke, one of the presenters at the upcoming Worth Recovery Event: Engaged in the Struggle. Lu is not only a CSAT therapist, but a Daring Way Facilitator - Consultant, trained in the work of Brene Brown. In this episode she discusses core and aspirational values and how they play a role in our recovery.
To celebrate her 4 year sobriety anniversary, Amy shares her own Spiritual Awakening. Knowing that addiction is an "illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer", Amy shares some of the major spiritual experiences that have contributed to her spiritual awakening.
14 symptoms that you are having a spiritual awakening.
- You have the sense that something is different.
- You feel yourself drifting away from some relationships.
- You become aware of those things which no longer serve you.
- You feel great compassion for the suffering of this life.
- You feel an urge to do something.
- You become more sensitive.
- You begin to search for the answer to the question, “Who am I?”
- You begin to regularly experience synchronicity.
- You experience a loss of identity.
- Your sleep patterns change.
- You lose interest in lesser emotions and thoughts.
- You feel a sense of Oneness.
- You begin to experience better overall health.
- You experience tingling at the top of your head.
Grief comes to visit all of us on occassion. It is it's own size. It can feel like a presence in our life. It manifests in different ways for each of us. In this episode, Amy discusses some of the grief she is dealing with, some of the ways it manifests, and some of the strategies she is using to get through it in her life.
Thoughts from Amy's car continues with an episode about preparing for the holidays. Amy shares how unvoiced expectations are just resentment waiting to happen.
Trauma can be complex and deep. It brings wounds into our lives that we try desperately to master. In an interview with Candice Christansen, Amy discusses the correlation between trauma and addiction, some of the ways we act out our trauma, and some of the tools we can use to work through and eventually master our trauma. You can learn more about Candice and the work she is doing by visiting www.namasteadvice.com.
In the continuation of the deep dive on the 12 steps of recovery, Amy explores how all of the work we have done up to this point prepares us for Step 9, for making amends. She discusses how amends is more than apologies, more than just saying we are sorry. In preparing to work step nine, we need to understand the principles behind all of the other steps as well as why apologies are insufficient.
In the conclusion of the series on Objectification, Amy discusses two questions: How am I objectifying myself? and what boundaries do I need to set in objectification by others?
While driving to spend some time with her family, Amy shares the cycle and evolution of relationships in her recovery.
In the continuation of the series on Objectification, Amy discuses the first of the reflection questions from last time, "How do I objectify other people?" and provides 4 concrete strategies you can use to stop! Objectifying goes so much deeper than just looking at appearance. Learn some strategies to stop the objectification you are doing in your life.
Concluding the discussion on step 8, Amy shares one of the most influential experiences she has heard about forgiveness. Using the experience of Corrie ten Boom, related in her book "The Hiding Place", Amy shares why forgiveness is something we continually practice. And just as essential as forgiving others is learning and practicing forgiving ourselves. We just keep working at it and keep practicing until our higher power "changes the temperature of our heart."
What does objectification look like? What are the qualities that define objectification? How do you identify it, stop it for yourself, and hold boundaries with people that objectify you? At the request of a listener and in response to Amy's own experiences, she discusses all these questions and more.
In the conclusion of this two part interview with Dr. Aaron Glade, Amy discusses more about Trauma and Addiction, including stabilizing your life, building hope for the future, and the importance of talking about it.
On the way back from visiting with her mom, Amy shares some of the raw emotion around death, addiction, fantasy, and recovery.
In part one of this two part series, Amy interview Aaron Glade, Ph.D, LMFT, CSAT, about the role of trauma in addiction. They discuss capital T and lowercase t trauma and some of the effective treatment options for for trauma therapy. You can read more about Dr. Glade here.
In the continuation of the series on the 12 steps of recovery, Amy discusses one of the major principles she had to learn and practice while working Step 8: Letting Go. After offering examples of some of the things she had to learn to let go of, she offer 6 practical ways to help you begin to let go of things in your life as well.
During the Worth Recovery event, "Engaged In The Struggle", in Seattle, Washington, Amy sat with Maureen as they discussed their recovery journeys. Staying engaged in the struggle is not the easy option. Maureen tells us about some of the struggles she has dealt with during recovery and some of the strategies she has used to stay engaged. This interview was recorded live as Amy and Maureen presented in Seattle.
In the continuation of the episodes on Step 8, Amy discusses the principles she learned from actually working this step in her life. Throughout the process of becoming willing to make amends, many internal shifts have to happen. Listen to Amy discuss the difference between Ownership and Responsible Ownership.
During the Worth Recovery event, "Engaged In The Struggle", in Seattle, Washington, Amy sat with Maureen as they discussed their recovery journeys. Staying engaged in the struggle is not the easy option. Maureen tells us about some of the struggles she has dealt with during recovery and some of the strategies she has used to stay engaged. This interview was recorded live as Amy and Maureen presented in Seattle.
Step 8 has many principles for us to learn, but they aren't always obvious from the beginning. Approaching this step different from she has in the past, Amy begins the discussion on Step 8 with understanding how we work it in our lives. She then shares the three principles she learned FROM working this step, even when she didn't want to. The next three episodes in the 12-step series will discuss each of these principles in detail.
In the conclusion of an interview with Staci Sprout, Amy discusses shame, therapy, recovered memory and Staci shares her final message to women in recovery everywhere. Links to Staci's book, website, and newsletter can be found at www.worthrecovery.com.
In the continuation of the discussion about the 12 steps of recovery, and the conclusion of the discussion on Step 7, Amy offers three methods for working this step in our lives. It is important we ask, reflect, and act in order to really see the positive changes that can come in our lives as part of Step 7.
In part two of three, Amy interviews Staci Sprout, author of Naked In Public, her memoir of her sex addiction and recovery. Listen to Staci talk about the process of writing her book, her experience in recovery and her current work as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.
As we dive deep into Step 7, Amy analyzes the words of this step. What does it look like to live in humility? What exactly does the word Remove mean and how does it apply to my life in Step 7? As we begin to see ourselves rightly, next to our higher power, we become ready to ask for help as we work to remove our character defects.
In part one of three, Amy interviews Staci Sprout, author of Naked In Public, her memoir of her sex addiction and recovery. Listen to Staci talk about the process of writing her book, her experience in recovery and her current work as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist.
In the conclusion of the discussion on Step 6, Amy provides two examples of how to work this step in our lives. Remember - it works when we work it! We can't just talk about our character defects being removed, we have to actually do something about it!
In the concluding episode of the series about Amy's 5 year anniversary in recovery, she discusses the 5 top things she has learned in these last 5 years. Listen to her discuss vocabulary, needs, boundaries, acceptance and living in the gray area. What lessons have you learned in recovery so far? Comment below or join us on Facebook!
Continuing with the series on Step 6 of the 12 Steps of Recovery, Amy discuses what it means to be entirely ready. Step 6 reads: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. In Episode 051, defects of character were discussed. Now, in episode 053, Amy discusses the willingness needed to be ready for God to remove these character defects.
In the second episode of this three part series, Amy reflects about her five years of recovery. With Dr. Aaron Glade, her first therapist in recovery, she reflects on some of the success and struggle moments in those first few years. They talk about what makes a good fit between a therapist and a client, and how you can judge whether your therapy relationship is working. Dr. Glade is available for therapy in the Bellevue, WA area. More information can be found here.
In the continuation of the series on the 12-steps of recovery, Amy discusses Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Behind every character defect is a character asset. Amy talks about how our strengths, either overdone or underdone, create these character defects and how we need to create a vision of what it is we want to be.
In this celebratory episode, Amy reflects on the lessons she has learned from being in recovery for 5 years! FIVE YEARS! With special guest, Dr. Aaron C. Glade, Amy's first therapist in recovery, she discusses those first few months of therapy and what it is like to begin recovery.
In the continuation of the deep dive into the 12 steps of recovery, Amy concludes her discussion on Step 5 with "It Works When I Work It!" In this episode, Amy provides concrete actions that she completed to work Step 5 in her life and shares some of the changes that resulted because of her work. It really does work when we work it!
In the conclusion of the two-part series on BIG emotions, Amy continues her discussion with special guest Jon Taylor, LCSW, CSAT, CMAT,. Learn concrete techniques and strategies to help you work through the BIG emotions that come when we stop acting out our addiction. Take the two-week emotion identification challenge by downloading the worksheet at the Worth Recovery Website.
We've learned that self-assessment isn't enough and we must share and admit the exact nature of our wrongs with other people in Step 5. Who are these people we share with? Listen to Amy discuss the three people we must admit to and how it helps us move forward in our recovery with this continuation of the deep dive into the steps of recovery.
In response to listener questions, and with special guest, Jon Taylor, LCSW, CSAT, CMAT,, Amy discusses the BIG emotions that flood our lives after we stop acting out our addiction. Why are they there, How do we recognize them, and How do they manifest, are the topics of part one of this important series.
What is the difference between admitting I was wrong, and admitting the exact nature of my wrongs? Though the difference is subtle, it makes the difference in stopping our behavior and changing the way we interact with others. When we can dig deep and find the exact nature of our wrong, we understand the motive and character defects that we are acting on. This understanding helps us find more constructive ways to get our needs met in healthy ways. Listen to Amy use examples from her own life and learn how to peel away the action and find the exact nature of your wrongs.
In the continuation of the Slips and Falls episode, Amy discusses how we recovery from a slip. What do we do when we blow past the trigger and find ourselves in the current of the riverbed. How can we slow the river down and find a way out? We create space for a slip autopsy. Learn what that is by listening now! The worksheet referenced can be downloaded at www.worthrecovery.com.
So you've finished your moral inventory from step 4. You're obsessed and consumed with what you have done in the past, how you have felt and the harms that you've caused. Now what do you do? Amy describes the dark thinking that Step 4 had brought and the relief she found in working Step 5. Reflection is the key!
In order to change your thinking and really stay sober - you have to change your neural pathways. What are neural pathways and how do you change them? That is exactly what Amy will discuss in this episode about how to stop triggers from turning into slips and slips into falls.
In this final episode in the deep dive into Step 4, Amy gives ideas to enhance the traditional AA method of working Step 4 and also discusses the payoff we receive. It works when we work it!
Do you have a pack? A pack that stands with you to fight your battles with addiction? Listen to Amy discuss why you need a pack and give you some questions to evaluate the healthy qualities of your own pack.
Working step 4 requires courage and honesty. How have you worked Step 4 in your own life? In part 1 of this podcast - Amy discusses the traditional method of working step 4 outlined by AA and the promises and benefits of completing this step. The worksheets referenced in the episode can be found at www.worthrecovery.com.
It's not always easy to ask for help. In fact, asking for help is one of the hardest things we learn to do in recovery. Listen to Amy discuss how hard it was to reach out and find a sponsor - but also the reasons why it has been the best part of her recovery.
A moral inventory is a starting place in facing the facts about ourselves. It takes courage and honesty. It also takes an understanding of why it is necessary. Listen to Amy discuss why this moral inventory will change our lives and how we will use it moving forward.
What exactly are boundaries and why are they necessary in recovery? Why do I feel like a bitch every time I even think about boundaries? Listen to Amy talk about the four major types of boundaries you need, and share her own experiences with boundary success and failure.
Working step 4 can be intimidating. Many addicts get hung up here and don't move forward. Step 4 demands honesty and courage if we are going to work it in our lives. Listen to Amy describe what that means to her and how we find courage & honesty.
Are you struggling to figure out who you are in recovery? Do you feel like you're having an identity crisis? Yeah - me too. Listen to Amy discuss her own experience with figuring out who she was in addiction and recovery and how to take yourself along in your own journey.
The principles behind steps 1, 2, and 3 provide us the essence of surrender. What does it mean to surrender our addiction? Doesn't surrendering make me a loser? Listen to Amy discuss her experiences with surrendering and how it works in her life.
Are you engaged in the struggle of your life? Are you moving forward or are you stuck? Are there things in your life that you're escaping from or ignoring? How do you move forward? Listen to Amy talk about being engaged in the struggle of her life and get some ideas on how you can stay engaged as well!
In the conclusion of the series on step 3, listen to Amy make some suggestions on how to practically turn your will and live over to the care of God.
Comparison, the opposite of connection, has a huge negative effect in our lives. Listen to Amy talk about what comparison does to our lives and how we can take steps to healing and steps to connection.
When we turn our will over to our higher power, we're not giving it up for someone else to play with. We turn it over to the CARE of God. Listen to Amy talk about three significant experiences in her life where she has seen the Care of God in her life.
Connection is vital in recovery. At a recent women's retreat, Amy interviewed women who wanted to share with you their tools of recovery. Listen to Liberty, Sarah, and Pamela share their messages with you about Acceptance, Support, Rigorous Honesty and Hope for the future.
What does it mean to turn over your will? How do you do that? What does it require? Listen to Amy discuss the answers to these questions and the identity crisis that comes along with it.
Will you go to meetings for the rest of your life? Listen to Amy answer this question and talk about the fundamental principles of living in Recovery.
Step 3 asks us to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. Recovery demands that we be accountable for both our actions and our inactions. Step 3 is where we being this accountability process. Are you being a decision maker in your own life?
Finding a place to stay connected is essential if we are to live in recovery. At a recent women's retreat Amy attended, she spoke to Becky, Candace, and Emily and recorded their brief message to you about recovery tools they have learned.
In the conclusion of the series on Step 2, Amy provides suggestion on how to work this step in your life. Listen to her outlines the four commitments necessary to working Step 2.
In the conclusion of Lee's story, listen to her describe some of the events of the last three years in recovery including her worst and best moments. "Don't let anyone tell you you're not worth it" is her concluding message.
In continuing the deep dive on step two, listen to Amy talk about the ways insanity manifests in our lives. If we agree that we need to be restored to sanity, as step two tells us, we must be willing to see and admit our own insanity. How does insanity manifest in your life?
In the first of the Women's Stories Series, Amy talks with Lee, as she shares her story of addiction and recovery. Everyone's story is just a little different. Hear how addiction impacted Lee, her life and her family.
The understanding of a Higher Power must be personal in order for it to work in our lives. Listen to Amy share her experiences with defining her Higher Power and the challenge to define your own!
If there was one thing you wish people could understand about your addiction, what would it be? Listen to Amy talk about the one thing she hopes all people remember about addiction, especially sex addiction.
Continuing the deep dive into the 12 Steps of recovery, Amy discusses what step two is all about. Coming to meetings, waking up to our insanity, and learning to build confidence in a power bigger than ourselves are all essential parts to understanding the beginning of step 2.
In the concluding episode of the Talking Back Challenge, Amy discusses phase 4 of the design your own talking back statements. Learn how to stay in the trenches and declare war on the negative shaming voices in your head. Worksheets can be found at www.worthrecovery.com.
The steps work in so much more than addiction. Listen to Amy discuss how step one is a life principle and how we can apply the principles of software development to our own lives. Also, learn how to translate this principle into language everyone can understand.
In the second part of the series on Talking Back, Amy discusses phases 2 and 3 of crafting your own personalized, unique talking back statements to help you overcome the negative and shaming voices in your own head. Episode 012 started the three part series which will conclude in Episode 016. Check out the worksheets available on www.worthrecovery.com to help get you started!
Step one is more than just an admittance of powerlessness and unmanageability. In this admittance, we have the opportunity to connect with our story and put context to our lives. Then, it becomes our responsibility to "change the things we can" as the serenity prayer tells us. How have you worked step one in your life? Listen as Amy shares how it has worked in her life.
Do you struggle with negative thoughts and shaming voices? Do they stop you from acting in your life? It is time to start talking back! Listen to Amy talk about her four phase process for talking back!
Continuing the deep dive into the 12 steps of recovery, Amy explores how unmanageability shows up in her life. Though we all have apparent unmanageability, we also have deceptive forms that can take awhile to see. Listen and discover the overt and covert unmangeability in your own life.
Feeling discouraged? Things not working out like you wanted them to? Listen to Amy talk about her recent experience with discouragement, the elements of hope, and learn three tips to building hope in your life.
In the first episode of the 12 step series, listen to Amy's attempts to stop her addiction herself and the gifts that Powerlessness has brought to her life.
What is your plan in case of emergency? You know, those desperate moments you have where your moments away from acting out? Learn about creating an ICE kit - and how this can transform your recovery!
Why, after being sober and in recovery, do you need to keep working the steps or attending fellowship meetings? Listen to Amy explain why the 12 steps have become a pillar in her recovery program and why she still continues to work them in her life.
Continuing the discussion from Episode 5, listen to how Amy started practicing and moving recovery forward on a daily basis. Learn the 5 ways to become a better practicer! Download the worksheet from www.worthrecovery.com!
Who was the first man to the North Pole and what in the world does that have to do with recovery? Listen to Amy talk about practicing recovery, fair weather sprinting, and the race to the North Pole!
The damage one word can cause is immense. Listen to Amy talk about the shaming voice of "should" in her life and learn how to silence your own shame voices.
Connection is an essential part of living in recovery. Yet - there are so many options to shortcut or hot wire connection. Amy shares some of her hot wire moments and how dangerous connection on demand can be.
Bottom isn't some arbitrary thing that happens to us without our consent. We choose our bottom. Learn the three principles that helped Amy find and maintain bottom.
What is a program of recovery and how do I know if mine is working? In episode 001, explore the four pillars of a solid recovery program and learn how to evaluate your own! Download the free worksheet from www.worthrecovery.com!
Episode 0 focuses on the purpose, mission and goal of Worth Recovery. Learn about Amy's journey as a woman recovering from sex addiction and the big, BIG things we are going to do to support other women in recovery!