Your Thought Guide: Recent Episodes
carlton Jones
Making necessary changes to get to our place in life. Such changes can be well thought out and executed. At another time, change becomes unplanned and sudden.
The conventional wisdom is, look before leaping. In this instance there was no time to look or to think. The reality of the situation demanded a spontaneous reactive response with no room for contemplative thoughts. I looked; I saw and leaping into action was the solo requirement at that time.
As I sat in the parking lot of the eye doctor my thoughts came at me like a flood. I was reflecting about my father on the anniversary of his passing. I remembered that he had 2 eyeglasses which I never fully understood until it happened to me. Yep, I needed two pairs for divided vision. One for driving and another for the computer and for reading.
This talk was incidental and unplanned. Initially, my intention was just to sing into my digital recorder, one of my Favorite songs. It began with the song "the love inside" by my favorite singer, Barbara Streisand. That last note "Loving Me" left me haunting, wanting and then became a meaningful precursor this talk. Thoughts from an earlier interaction floated into my consciousness, and I began to speak. This became a natural outgrowth from that earlier encounter with a much younger and sorrowful individual.
On June 3rd 2020 I received a gentle reminder that my life clock was inching towards midnight.. My outdoor thermometer delivered the news through its digital display. It informed me that it was 65 degree outside and that I had just turned 65 years old. This seemingly innocuous coincidence brought a smile to my face and a chuckle to my heart. Turning 65 is, in it self, a big deal, a reminder that there may not be many more numbers left to count. This had me thinking about life, death and the passage of time. My thoughts landed at the feet of George Floyd, who through no fault of his own, was allowed to die in the streets at the hands of a system that violated a sacred oath to serve and preserve. Some day we all will die and we may not have the choice of when and where, however to have that life destroyed by the action of failure, is indeed the tragedy.
This recording was done in 2016 while I was driving my 1994 Honda Delsol to Connecticut to see my brothers. It performed admirably that day and on all subsequent trips. As of today its current mileage is 143921 and still lights up by just a simple cracking of the ignition. It is a two-seater with a responsive steering capable of making tight turns. My eldest daughter, Christine, drove it in high school, through college and first job in New York City. In 2014 she bought her own, returned the keys, and it became mine again..
On that particular day I was gushing with admiration for its reliability and steady performance.. I love the sounds of the road, the feeling of excitement that accompanies the spinning wheels. When making long trips alone, I take my digital recorder because I talk to my self. The familiar hum of the engine along with the sounds of the open roads stimulate my thoughts and brings me comfort. I love to drive and driving this car is fun..
On that particular trip I was thinking about this lovely individual I encountered. I am not the expert but I do have mental health experience. I felt compassion bubbling up in my heart and flowing out through my imagination.. I began thinking about the mystery and dangers connected to hoarding. I thought about the unidentified hoarders among us and how their behavior is poorly understood by those "ordinary others".
I hit "record" and started talking.
After 2 years of following my mantra of "No seconds, sugar snacks" my weight leveled off at 160 pounds. Currently I am maintaining at and between 160 and 164 pounds. Using the "turtle " method of losing and getting to a desired weight was kind of mercurial. But it gave me the advantage of "tuning in" to my "body talk". So much so that immediately after a meal I could almost accurately estimate my weight. Now that is not magic its just being consistently mindful of my eating habit and style. Eating should become a life style and some days I do push pass the boundaries, but, I remain conscious that doing so 2 - 3 days in a row will create unconscious changes. The changes in weight may not be as significant as would be, the change in habit. Just as quickly I could soon forget my style, and before I realize it, small change slips past my "awareness gait". . Now that may seem like work, it is, but not a lot. I think of that body builder, that athlete I so admire, who is focused on maintaining the optimum physique and skills. I try to remember that I was not just changing my body, I was replacing habits by changing my mind.
Every night just before I go to bed I get on the scale and write it down. In the morning when I rise, again I get on the scale and write it down. I find a consistent 2 Pounds ( difference) lower in the morning. Those action, at first, seemed meaningless and and some what frustrating. Longitudinally I began to learned to feel the ups and downs of the pounds and kept my goal in focus. It later became my habit.
I am mindful that each individual has their own proclivities, and that there are no cookie cutter ideals. I learned to bite into a donut and then throw the remainder into the garbage. My thought was this, waste it there or waist it here. Better still, avoid it. I never gave up ice cream, I just restricted its presence to outside treat. It has since been re-welcomed at home.
My A1c came in at 6.0
Children are essential to life not just because thy are our replacements but that they they serve up that added flavor to our living. Without them living would be a drag with nothing but work. It is the child in us that allows us to be nonchalant and free spirited. This new entrant into our lives brings energy anew.
Fathers, It not enough for your children to know of you or for them to just be aware of your presence. You must not only be the provider of the sperm that fertilizes the egg that produces the child that we now see. Make a concerted effort to participate in the motion of their lives. It is important that do things for and with them . That is your gift to them.
Marriage is important to the well being of the individual and to our society. We can call it anything we chose but its value still stands. It is true that the rate of marriage is decreasing, but that because they are calling it something else. The principle of declared commitment remain solid.