Behind The Mirror: Recent Episodes
Anna Dimmel
In this episode, I offer deconstructed thoughts on what it means to be born of water and spirit. And how the process of being born again is one that is repeated throughout the spiritual journey of life over and over again.
Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Trauma bonding is either healthy or unhealthy. These bonds are built through shared trauma experiences, whether through story sharing of the trauma or through shared experiences. The effects of unhealthy trauma bonding often result in anxiety, fear of being unheard or the constant need for validation. However, the benefits of healthy trauma bonding, offer a safe place to heal and naturally receive validation. In this episode, I share what I've learned from a lifetime of unhealthy trauma bonding and how I've created a spiritual practice of maintaining a sacred circle around my trauma.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
It is no secret that during the last few years we witnessed a huge rise in faith deconstruction. Where new questions were being asked, new conversations and new ways of thinking emerged. Many left the church during this time and have been wandering in a wilderness of pain and recovery. But, Spirit is shifting things in 2020. It is sparking a new movement outside of the walls of religiosity. Those who worked hard to find healing are stepping into a new chapter this year. One filled with JOY, happiness, peace, comfort, healing, magic and all things full of child-like wonder. If the last decade has felt heavy, be encouraged. Everything is changing this year.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
There is magic this time of year that is often overlooked by commitments, obligations, sadness, grief and anxiety. But, in this episode, I share how I'm changing the way this season feels for me - and most importantly, how I am learning to honor my soul and the divine magic of Christmas.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Anna's Holiday Gift Guide: https://annadimmel.com/2019/11/25/best-unique-holiday-gift-guide-with-a-purpose/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
This is such an awkward topic! It was awkward back when I was trying to "save" and witness to my friends. And now it feels super awkward as I can't remember the last time I said even that word. lol Like many Christians, years ago, I was desperately trying to do the right thing and keep those I loved from going to hell. After going through deconstruction and letting go of institutions, organizations and any fear of hell, I was left with just me and Spirit - which shed lots of light on many subjects, such as this. In the episode, I explore this part of my journey from the beginning stages (ie: witnessing to everyone) to where I am today.
Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In middle school, reading the Bible became my outlet and central point of connection with Spirit. It was a tender place that I held onto through adulthood. The studying of scripture became a passion and led me to eventually become a pastor. But, there was a point when my relationship shifted with the Bible. In this episode, I talk about when my relationship with the Bible changed and how I handled those shifts during the deconstruction process. Where God led me to let go of the idol I had made the Bible to be, and embrace the realness of my relationship with Spirit - outside of any religious constraints. I candidly talk about what this has looked like post deconstruction and the healing I continue to walk through.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Shop wellness: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel
Before deconstructing, my life involved loads of prayer. Since I was a kid, prayer was a huge part of my life. I literally have nearly 50 journals filled with tear-stained pages, pleading and begging for God's comfort, peace and direction. In this episode, I discuss the damaging cycle so many find themselves in when God is their only safe place, only sense of connection and acceptance, or only "lover" of their soul. It sets the tone for depression, isolation and loads of denial. During my journey in the wilderness, everything was stripped away - including my prayer life. I wanted connection with Spirit, but not the idol of religion it had been packaged in. Spirit led me to trade desperate hunger prayers, for prayers of acceptance, gratitude and authentic healing.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Shop: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel
Every single person deals with jealousy on some level. But, it's one of those hush-hush topics that no one talks about. Whether it's jealousy over someone's relationship, career, good opportunity, house or lot in life, just know that these thoughts are soooo common. In this episode, I unravel the patterns of jealousy and how it's merely just an obstacle in the way of finding our true path. Sharing from my own journey, I offer tips on how to change your inner dialogue and accept the beautiful journey that is only YOURS.
Anna's Blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Shop Wellness: https://www.myyl.com/anna-dimmel
For years, I believed it was my job to fix the toxic relationships in my life. I believed by doing everything "right", eventually good would win out and all would be well. But my fear of being disliked, rejected and misunderstood blinded my ability to see just how toxic some of these relationships were. I became a slave to these relationships and they began to completely run my life. In this episode, I talk candidly about my 15 year journey of navigating toxic relationships and discovering that fixing them wasn't the answer - accepting the reality of what these relationships truly were held my ticket to freedom (and peace).
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Wellness: https://annadimmel.com/wellness/
This week marks the Autumn equinox which often brings a significant amount of change. As many of us are leaving a season of loss, heartache, grief and wilderness wandering, this shift offers an invitation to step into the next chapter. This season, in particular, is all about harvest, abundance and the preparation for new things. A season of celebration that we made it this far - and the reassurance that everything will be okay.
Anna's blog: www.annadimmel.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Wellness: https://annadimmel.com/wellness/
The path to authenticity can often feel lonely. When we leave the status quo to run after something real, an empty space is created. Whether it's a deconstruction of faith, community, marriage or friendship, the voids left behind can be a lonely place. In this episode I talk about my personal journey: from having viral blogs, speaking engagements, a thriving career, and a full social calendar, to losing the majority of my following and my personal and social world going to crickets. In my journey of following Spirit into the wild, I found myself in a vast, lonely wilderness. The good news is that when you land in this place, you are exactly where you need to be.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Spiritual Living: https://justajesusfollower.com/spiritual-living/
One thing I'm beginning to learn is how much we see the world through our own cultural lens. And when I say culture, I don't mean our demographics - I mean what our background is, what we have been taught to believe about the world and those around us. How we view the world has everything to do with our own personal culture. In this episode, I explore the idea of how much this affects everything from how we view ourselves to our ability to connect with others.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
We all have tender, soft parts of us. We equally have strong, powerful parts of us. For a long time, these dynamics were out of balance for me. Not because I didn't have them, but because I thought I needed permission to access them. Which left me in this kind of numb space.
When you feel like all you can be is gentle, you end up full of rage - because the power has no where to go. And when you feel like all you have to be is strong, you end up with loads of anxiety. Because the tenderness has no where it feels safe. These power dynamics inside of us are constant. Learning to lean into what our body needs to express and what our heart needs to feel, is so vital.
Every part matters and every part is needed. In this episode, I share from my own journey of "stuffing" my emotions (for YEARS) in trying to be good. I talk about how this affected my parenting, being a spouse and the daily panic attacks I endured. I also open up about the year when I finally brought them all to the surface.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
We are made of three equal parts: mind, body and spirit. But, for many of us, mind and spirit are seen as the focus while our bodies are the afterthought. The body is often viewed as the flesh; the part that needs to be contained, managed and taught to submit. In this episode, I explore the idea of body being equally as valuable (and good) as spirit and mind. I share my experiences from purity culture and the lengths I went to in denying myself. I talk about how abuse and trauma played a part in my disconnection with body and how I separated from my body altogether. Disconnection with our bodies can lead to many addictive behaviors, self-harm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. This episode is an honest look at my journey of learning self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, being present and how I am climbing back into my skin again - embracing every part of body as GOOD.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Suggested guided meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TvIdqigPk4&list=PLb09q0R7gAwQ3ou1lUWZcJZEtgNeoJNJf&index=3&t=0s
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Living with regret is something many of us struggle with. From our career, parenting, love life, marriage and relationships, the desire to do everything "right" is a high standard to achieve. But, because of the pressure to be "perfect", we can we get entangled in the fear of making mistakes, so we get stuck...unable to move forward. Or we feel such pain over the mistakes we've made that we lose the ability to trust ourselves. Learning to see mistakes as part of the way we are designed to live, shifts the perspective. Trusting that we were made to make mistakes and grow from them, is trusting the Divine. Every decision has value - good, holy value. Living from this place opens us up to take risks, try new things and live a life free from shame.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Dr. Winell is a human development consultant, educator, and writer in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her background includes 28 years of experience in human services, in both community and academic settings. She holds a doctorate in Human Development and Family Studies from Pennsylvania State University and is the author of Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion. We discuss the symptoms of RTS, the cycle of abuse that occurs in many churches and how the trauma of betrayal from former friends of loved ones in your faith community can leave damaging effects.
If you enjoy our conversation and would like to talk with Dr. Winell personally, look for the free 20 min session link on her website and mention the podcast when contacting her.
Dr. Marlene Winell: https://journeyfree.org/
Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Before I sat down to record this episode, I asked myself: if I could only say one thing what would it be? My answer to that question was immediate: you don't have to be defined by pain. THIS is the core of my message. This one sentence is everything. Because every single one of us has experienced pain. But, how we handle pain depends greatly on our personalities; it also determines the kind of life we will live moving forward. In this episode, I share from my own struggle with pain and offer hope to rise on the other side softer and stronger.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
After writing a recent blog on my journey of becoming affirming, I received a lot of questions like, "How can you be affirming when the Bible is so clear?" I decided a podcast would be the best way to address this subject in its entirety. I share how I walked through friends and family coming out to me, which began my journey of wrestling with theology. Covering the famous passages in scripture that address homosexuality, I break down historical context and translations. I discuss Old Testament, New Testament, Jesus and the spirit of the law vs. the legalism of it. All in all, this is one pastor's story of how I went from "the Bible is so clear" to becoming an affirming ally of the LGBTQ community.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
References for further reading:
Rev. Justin Cannon: https://www.gaychurch.org/homosexuality-and-the-bible/the-bible-christianity-and-homosexuality/
Unclobber, by Cloby Martin: https://www.amazon.com/UnClobber-Rethinking-Misuse-Bible-Homosexuality/dp/066426221X/ref=asc_df_066426221X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241916856624&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8181018920231809618&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9023909&hvtargid=pla-492931928530&psc=1
Harbor, BT Harmon: https://www.harborhere.com/
I invite the author of, Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome Reba Riley to chat with me about her spiritual quest of experiencing thirty religions before her thirtieth birthday. As a former self-described Evangelical poster child, her journey defied nearly every barrier she had between herself, others and God.
Reba shares how her beliefs about God shifted, as well as how she was received (eh, not so received) by her "Christian" friends. Reba gets honest and real as she describes the breaking point in her faith and betrayal from her community. Our conversation is full of wit, humor and honest raw transparency as we talk about ALL the things.
Reba Riley: http://www.rebariley.com/
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
The idea of "conversion" typically sparks thoughts of salvation experiences or of exchanging an old life for a new one. But, when I read the story of Paul's conversion now, I can't help but see it through a different lens. The story of Paul's conversion is one of trading hate for acceptance, murder for protection and anger for love. It is the story of one human's encounter with the Divine and how it completely wrecked his religious agenda.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
With recent events including the loss of Rachel Held Evans and the legal case my family has been involved in, I have felt overwhelmed by dark. Where is God in any of it? How can I even say that "God is in control" or that God is even good? In this episode, I peel back the layers of my thoughts and questions and share where I believe God is - and where my faith manages to rest inside of tragedy. No matter what heavy situations you are carrying, I promise that God is not behind the pain, loss, abuse or trauma. God is light, not dark. God is life, not death. God is safety, not fear. And where there is darkness, there is always light; today, we choose to chase after light.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
For most of my life, I chased after my "calling". Believing my purpose was to minister, be a pastor and evangelize was what I thought I was supposed to be about. After all, isn't that the Jesus way? But, after having much of my "callings" stripped away, I realized one's purpose must go deeper.
Having taken another look at Jesus, I realized that to follow his life meant letting go of preconceived ideas of a "calling" or purpose. It asks you to look inward and discover what is really inside and what you are to do with that sacred gift.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I hear many people say that they can't wait to get to heaven - to be in their "forever home" with their forever family. But, if heaven is the ultimate destination, why did Jesus raise Lazarus from the grave? Why did he weep at his tomb? Why did Jesus himself rise from death? No matter how much one says they want to "get to heaven", instinctively we all have a desire to stay here and live; it is built into the fragments of our DNA and our natural instinct.
The story of Jesus isn't merely his death on a cross and his coming back to life - that was the final chapter of a continual picture of dead things coming back to life. The story of a life to the fullest, cups running over and a life filled with more. Of dead hopes being reborn, social stigmas being removed and of things we think we will never see coming to life being reborn. This is the story of nature, the story of Jesus and story of me.
Anna's website: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Whether in a friendship, partnership, spouse or community, sometimes the season changes and it's time to move on. Recognizing when it is time to let go can be difficult - especially if you have experienced any trauma or abuse in your life, you may experience feelings of shame, guilt or fear and often stay in a relationship way past it's expiration date. Learning to embrace a mentality of a God of "more" rather than a God of "lack" was a game changer for me in this area. It freed me from the belief that I had to hoard things from the past out of fear of not having more - and rather it pushed me to be thankful for the relationships from behind while opening myself up to embrace the ones that lie ahead.
Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
The story of Lazarus is one that continues to grip me. In this episode, I cover the story of Lazarus, his death and how this Jesus character showed up and wrote a different ending. No matter if your story includes divorce, being LGBTQ, a single parent or anything else that has landed you (or someone you love) on the outside, your story isn't over. Whether you have been outcasted, labeled as dead or pronounced "unclean", I promise there is an alternate ending.
Anna's website: www.justajesusfollwer.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Recent blog: Valuing relationships over theology, culture and loads of other stuff
For most of my life I assumed my reactions to certain things were normal - after all, it's just "how I am". But, lately I've been rather introspective about my reactions. Like what makes me fly off the handle at random or what throws me into panic mode. I started wondering if maybe those reactions weren't all that normal. After a conversation with a wise soul, I had a revelation about childhood trauma that completely changed the game. It set me on a path to not only identifying why I react certain ways, but how to heal from it (like within 10 minutes).
Website: www.justajesusfollower.com
In this episode I talk about the discovery of my inner emotions mirrored in the seasons of winter, spring, summer and fall. I parallel how nature, animals, plants and even the story of Jesus tell the same story of death, rebirth, drought and preparation. All of creation adheres to the natural order of seasons. Humans, however, seem to be the only ones who fight the changing of our personal seasons. I share stories from my own grief and personal winter and how I've learned to embrace and recognize the seasons when they come.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite seminary graduate Robert Arnau, to talk about homosexuality inside the Christian faith. This is one of my favorite conversations this season. Having preached at many churches, Robert is invited to speak on panels regarding the LGBTQ+faith topics. We discuss his personal journey of trauma in conversion therapy, demonic exorcisms and how he wrestled with the commonly known anti-homosexuality passages in scripture. Robert explains these passages including context and varying interpretations. Our conversation is full of warmth, encouragement and clarity for those wresting on both sides of this subject.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Robert Arnau: www.thelatinogaychristian.com
With so much tension inside denominations and churches, I decided to share my own experiences and journey within church. From being a kid in the pew every week to being a lead pastor, I talk about my journey from inside the church to venturing outside. I compare the ideas of community built on an agreed set upon beliefs versus a community built on differences and diversity. This episode includes loads of encouragement for those who have been hurt by their church, considering changing denominations or those who have left church all together.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite one of my soulmates onto the show to talk about all things relationships. Kirby is a world traveler, ghost writer and honorary psychologist (at least she writes like one;)). Kirby shares the psychology of change - why we struggle to make big changes even if they're good for us and the shame we often encounter when we change "too much". Included in our chat, is a huge boost of encouragement if you're going through a big change such as divorce, relationship struggles, church exit, faith shift or even friendship issues. Kirby offers loads of wisdom and humor - this is one you don't want to miss!
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Kirby Carol: http://kirbycarol.com/
As my faith deconstructed, so did other things. One in particular was my belief about love. I was taught that real love meant laying down your life for someone. But, the practice of laying down my life inside my marriage, friendships and parenting led me to an unhealthy (and rather unhappy) place. In this episode, I share how the foundation of what I thought love was impacted all of my relationships. I equally share how I deconstructed that foundation and built a new one on what love really is and isn't.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
This week has been a crazy one in the media. Like many of you, I've been bombarded with stories in the news. One story however, stood out - the story of the attack on Jussie Smollett (Empire) gripped me. In this episode, I share my candid thoughts on racism and the church. I dig into the history of racism inside the Christian faith and how it continues to play an active role inside the western world. I also share how I believe Jesus would respond, with a current take on the Good Samaritan.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
NY Times Article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/29/arts/television/empire-jussie-smollett-attacked.html
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Well, let's be honest - I like being in control. I like being "right". I like winning. And I like knowing the outcome. As much as I believed this offered me the upper hand, this last year I learned how much power actually rests in surrender. I haven't historically embraced surrender - it's often been something I avoided (in arguments, board games, grief, pain and just about anything I put my hand to). I used to believe that surrender meant failure - or that I had "given up". But, what I've learned is that surrender is the ultimate prize. It is not only a gift to your soul but is the core of spirituality; it is the true ticket to a free and authentic life.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Love and fear can't share the same space - and yet, I spent a lot of my life fearing many things: hell, disappointing God, the power of the "enemy" - I lived in a tightly constructed box with a narrow view of the world on the outside. There were "others" and there were those like me. As I have ventured through a deconstruction of faith, I have let go of many of those fears and yet, the cycle of fear continued. This episode explores many reasons why we are afraid, the affects of a life built on fear and steps we can take to step outside our walls. You were made for a full life - one with freedom, joy, peace, love and limitless possibilities. You were made for a life free from fear.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
I invite Rachel Parsons, host of the show The Peregrine Dame (PBS and Amazon), to talk about her perspectives and experiences as a solo world traveler. Rachel shares how she has broken through cultural, language and religious barriers throughout her journeys and the love she develops for the people who welcome her. She offers insight into ways we can overcome our fear of people who are different than us and steps we can take inside our own cities to bridge cultural/religious gaps.
Rachel Parsons: http://theperegrinedame.com/
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Given this is the first episode of 2019, I thought it would be fun to introduce you to my kiddos: Bria, Lyla, Viola & Noa. We discuss ALL THE THINGS (and I promise, they hold nothing back - including a laughing fit from Viola and a personal confession from Lyla). I ask them what grown ups should understand about kids and also their thoughts about church and God. They answer questions directly from the facebook group and they give a personal thank you to each Patreon at the end. Happy New Years! And I hope you enjoy :)
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patron: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
So much of my life has been spent avoiding hard conversations. I have tried to keep people happy, relationships tension free and everyone I care about free from being upset or angry. But, what ended up happening, is that I was unhappy and full of tension and anger. Because, we all need to feel heard - we also need to be fully known and understood. But, that doesn't happen when we avoid being honest with ourselves and with those closest to us. In this episode I explore the reasons why we are dishonest; I also talk about how to navigate honesty in kindness and love inside our friendships, marriage, parenting and careers.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
If you have a history of relationships with broken trust, trying to trust people again can feel like an attempt to climb Mount Everest. If this has been your story, most likely you want to crawl into a hole and hide - vowing to never trust again. I SO GET IT. In this episode, I share my own story of broken trust and expose the dark loneliness I landed in after closing myself off to wanting to trust anyone again. I break down why we stop trusting people (including God) and offer steps to heal and create lasting, healthy trusting relationships.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In this episode I open up about my struggles with the holiday season: the loneliness and the empty spaces that just feel like they should be filled. This year, I am viewing the story of Jesus a bit differently. I explore the wilderness journey and the striking similarities that Mary faced during her own wilderness. I also dig into the genealogy of the four (rather scandalous) women the Bible says Jesus comes from; all of it painting a rather different picture than the one I often heard about during Christmas.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite writer and author Bonnie Kristian to talk about her recent book, A Flexible Faith, Re-thinking what it means to follow Jesus today. Bonnie is a political writer as well as a seminary graduate from Bethel University. We talk about embracing diversity in theology and politics and how we can love eachother while disagreeing. Bonnie offers insight into the loneliness you experience when you are the "outsider" in your community as well as offering permission to leave your denomination when needed. One of my favorite parts of our conversation was her list of 5 things she considers when looking for a new faith community or church. She is a wealth of knowledge and insight and I loved every minute of picking her brain.
Bonnie Kristian: http://bonniekristian.com/
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
One of the most difficult parts in the deconstruction journey is that of loneliness. Whether you've lost your community, friends, family or career many find themselves wandering in a wilderness while deconstructing their faith. In this episode, I dive into this portion of my journey and expose the pain, isolation and mental battles I faced and continue to face. I offer three phases of the wilderness, taking notes from Jesus' personal journey in the wilderness. This is an encouraging episode to offer comfort and empower you to continue following where Spirit leads.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In this episode, I explore the psychological effects of deconstruction. I break down the four phases of deconstruction and openly share the good, bad and ugly of each part. I get honest about the painful realities I continue to face during this process and share my own crisis of faith.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite BT Harman (Brett Trapp) to join me on this episode as we talk about life after Blue Babies Pink. I ask him ALL THE THINGS. We discuss how he overcame his fears to be authentic and bravely share his journey with the world. He shares what has broken his heart the most inside the LGBTQ Christian community as well as what pushed him to open up about his personal beliefs. He beautifully offers empathy and encouragement towards parents, friends and family of LGBTQ people and shares useful tips of how best to love and honor them. This is one of my favorite honest, rich conversations.
BT Harman: https://btharman.com/
Blue Babies Pink: https://www.bluebabiespink.com/
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I spent years trying to avoid painful emotions. I mastered the art of "being okay". But, eventually unresolved grief made a loud appearance and I couldn't hide from it any longer.
Confronting painful emotions is difficult, but our bodies are designed to grieve. It's how we heal, process and move forward. In order to have the life we truly want to live, grief is something we have to press through in order to get to the other side.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite Calvin Arsenia, a classically trained vocalist, harpist and musician onto the show for an honest conversation about his journey of leaving the worship space and following his own path.
Calvin's music has gained worldwide attention for his shows that tackle sexuality, religion and race in a stunningly unorthodox manner. We discuss how he learned to believe he was enough while embracing his true self and how he created an authentic life and community. He talks candidly about the pain and frustration he encountered during his time in church, but equally the beauty and depth he continues to pull from his relationship with God and his spirituality.
Show notes:
Calvin Arsenia: www.calvinarsenia.com
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Learning how to be vulnerable, real and authentic was one of THE HARDEST THINGS I've ever done. In this episode, I expose my own journey into authenticity and the baby steps I took in this process. I also talk about how Jesus lived and interracted with humans on a real level and how the main thing that irritated the snot out of him were those who were "false".
Show Notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Jesus said things like: my yoke is easy and my burden is light. He talked about offering life and giving it to the fullest. He told those who were tired and weary that he would give them rest. The message of loving well and living well were consistent throughout Christ's ministry and teachings. And yet, many Christians instead of focusing on loving and living well, they focus on "suffering well".
In this episode, I challenge the idea living a life of suffering as we re-think verses like: "taking up your cross" and how you should be "content in any and all circumstances". It's a new perspective on a theme that has been prevelent in most of mainstream Christian culture.
Show notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
How does the first story of humans in the Bible relate to our present day culture? In this episode, I explore the "fall" and how it pertains to a very relevant question: what does God say is good and what does God say is evil? This story reveals the primary cause as to why so many denominations, families, relationships, churches and groups are divided. It also offers hope for how we can find peace inside our relationships and inside our relationship with the Divine.
Show notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
When you start to question what you believe, what certain scriptures mean, how you view the Bible or God all together, many of us start to panic. For me, it was mainly because one of the predominant things in the Christian culture I was raised in, was the pressure to "have an answer" for everything. But when my absolute answers started unraveling, I felt terrified. In this episode I share what that process looked like for me and how I was able to shift from fear to peace.
Show notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In part 2 of the best of season 1, I explore the best of my conversations with Pete Enns (The Bible for Normal People), Jim Lee (Energy healing with the Splankna Institute) and Tim Rymel (author of Re-Thinking Everything).
In these candid, honest conversastions we discuss topics like:
- Re-thinking our relationship with the Bible and how we read it
- How to be authentic
- Spiritual abuse
- Inclusion and LGBTQ issues
- Deconstruction
Show Notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In this episode, I compile the highlights of some this season's best guests (part 1). You'll hear the best of my conversation with WP Young (The Shack), Carlos Rodriguez (Happy Sonship) and Micah J Murray as we explore different ways of imagining God, Christianity and our faith as a whole. We discuss thoughts on hell, inclusion, the history of American Christianity, how we've misunderstood God, "judgement" and what Jesus was really all about.
Show Notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
So often when bad things happen we are told, "don't worry, God is in control" But can God be in control and good at the same time? Is the idea of God being in control even biblical? I explore all of this from my wrestling with this question and my own journey of trying to balance the idea of a good God in the midst of tragedy and heartache.
Show notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
I invite Dallas Amsden, host of the podcast Defeating Depression, onto the show to share his personal journey of anxiety and depression. Dallas opens up about being a pastor's kid and how his depression and anxiety came to a breaking point where change had to happen. In our conversation, we discuss how mental health is viewed in the church, why so many of us hide in shame of our anxiety or depression and how we can break the unhealthy cycles of coping that we fall into. We also discuss how anxiety and depression are so prevelent when we are in the midst of deconstruction in our faith. Dallas offers encouragement and practical tools for those feeling isolated in their journey. This is a rare, honest conversation on a topic that is so often misunderstood.
Show Notes:
Defeating Depression Podcast with Dallas Amsden: http://www.defeatingdepressionpod.com/
Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I invite my brother on this episode to have a candid, open conversation about marijuana use. We discuss how we were taught to view this when we were younger, how it was addressed in the church and our thoughts on it currently.
Show notes:
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Podcast FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
I've heard the phrase: well, we just need to get back to how they did things in the first church. I wanted to play on that idea and really dig into what radical movements the church in Acts was actually about. I explore how Jesus set up this movement and how Paul radically embraced this idea of inclusion, equality and wild movement of the Spirit.
Show Notes:
Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
I am honored to invite one of my favorite teachers and thought-leaders onto the podcast in this thought-provoking episode with Pete Enns. Host of the podcast, The Bible for Normal People, Pete is the professor of Biblical Studies at Eastern University, has his PHD from Harvard and is a contributor to numerous publications and written works. Pete is candid and honest in our conversation as we dig into tough questions like:
- What about those conflicting stories in the Bible?
- How should we read the Old and New Testaments?
- How do we handle confrontations with friends and family who demand we take the Bible literally?
- What do we do when we fear our faith is collapsing?
This conversation is rich with wisdom and insight, delivered with a wit and humor that only Pete can offer. If you don't know Pete Enns yet, you will definitely be a fan by the end of this episode.
Show Notes:
Pete Enns: https://peteenns.com/
The Bible for Normal People Podcast: https://peteenns.com/podcast/
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
The topic of sex is one riddled with a thousand different questions and this episode is my attempt to answer some of the common questions I receive. Questions like: is pre-marital sex a sin? What does God view as marriage? Is pornography wrong? What about adultery? What were the opinions of Jesus? What is an actual "Biblical marriage"? I tackle this topic within the lens of scripture, offering the framework of culture, context and common sense. It is an honest episode shared from my own journey and from the collection of stories you've shared with me along the way. I believe this will offer peace, clarity and (hopefully!) relief from shame.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Oh my goodness. This episode is hands down one of my favorite conversations we’ve have on the show. I talk with New York Times best selling author, William Paul Young (The Shack). He offers candid perspectives on the (often misrepresented) nature and character of God. He answers questions like what do we do with things like judgement? Is hell real? What do we when do when we are in conflict with our theology? How do we overcome shame and embrace who we are? I am a huge fan and was honored to share in such an unfiltered discussion about life, God and the beauty of humanity.
William Paul Young: http://wmpaulyoung.com/
Lies We Believe About God: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1501101390
Behind the Mirror Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Did you know that the hard relationships in your life don't get to control you? WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY?! That's right my friends. And we tackle ALL of it in this episode addressing toxic relationships - whether with a family member, spouse, friend, ex-spouse, partner - we hit ALL the catagories. I unpack the 4 phases of toxic relationships and how to recognize the phase you are in.
I offer simple steps to identify healthy relationships versus unhealthy ones and how to set healthy boundaries that will protect your heart and your sanity. I also address what to do with pressure from those who don't support your boundaries as well as when to know it's time to call it quits. This conversation is jam packed with tools and insight from one who has walked this road what feels like a HUNDRED THOUSAND TIMES (not really - but you get the idea) I promise, you will feel empowered and ready to awken change inside the most valuable parts of your life - your relationships.
FREE e-book A Field Guide to Toxic Relationships: www.justajesusfollower.com/toxicrelationships
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
How to identify toxic relationships
In this episode, I tackle many of the not-so-fun things Christians are told to watch out for. I answer questions like:
- Are spiritual attacks a thing?
- Will bad things happen if you are not in God's will?
- What happens if you step outside the "covering" of your authority?
- What are spiritual strongholds?
After being in a ministry role for nearly a decade, I got an up close and center look at ALL things dark and light. I share from my own journey the wrestling of what I had been taught, versus what I actually saw in the model of Jesus. I expose the good, bad and the ugly of all things super spiritual, and get right to the center of what most if this boils down to: Fear vs. love. Other's voices vs. your own. A benevolent God vs. a punishing God and facing your pain vs. hiding from it.
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel/memberships
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
In this episode, I invite our first female guest onto the podcast and it couldn't be more fitting than screenwriter and film director, Sandra Martin. If you've been thinking of pursuing a creative venture, making a career change or going after a passion project, you will leave this conversation feeling inspired and encouraged to say yes to that thing you've been dreaming about. Sandra shares her unconventional journey of becoming a screenwriter and gives an honest look inside her battle of self-doubt. She offers insight into how to handle moments of feeling unqualified and gives practical advice on what to expect while experiencing the learning curve of something new. Our conversation is full of wisdom and inspiration while packaged in a vulnerability that you just can't help but love her for.
Show Notes:
How to Train Your Puppy/Husband on Hallmark Now: https://www.hmnow.com/films/how_to_train_your_husband
Trust Fund Film: https://www.amazon.com/Trust-Fund-Jessica-Rothe/dp/B0721VC3FM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1530058836&sr=8-2&keywords=trust+fund+dvd
Love Was Near ebook: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Was-Near-Inspired-movie-ebook/dp/B071X5X51S/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1530058952&sr=8-2&keywords=Love+Was+Near+book
Anna's blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Did you know there are 3 groups we are constantly trying to win approval from? Yep. They are the same for all of us: family, friends and our tribe/society. We do everything in our power to gain their approval and keep our status inside each of those groups set. But, if you tend to be a follower of a still, small voice inside, eventually you will encounter a tension brewing between following that inner voice and pleasing your groups.
When faced with speaking your truth from that inner knowing or making a decision that poses potential rejection, anxiety and sleepless nights are ready companions. As one who has bucked the status quo most of my life, I SO GET IT. I offer 3 steps that I live by when faced with potential rejection that will bring relief, courage and much needed peace. And, should you find yourself braving the unknown as you speak your truth or follow a decision that is sure to reap rejection from your family, friends or tribe, I've got you covered. I offer 4 bonus tools that will empower you as you embark on following your inner knowing that are SO good.
These are tools I so wish someone would have shared with me decades ago and I am eager to share these secrets with you.
Show Notes:
Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In this episode I talk with author and former minister Tim Rymel. Tim was the outreach director of the ex-gay ministry Love in Action, between 1991-1996 that specialized in conversion therapy. He is also a contributor to The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project and a member of the American Psychological Association and the Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transexual Issues. We talk about his story and get a behind the scenes look into conversion therapy as well as discuss his new book, Re-Thinking Everything.
Show Notes:
Tim’s Website: https://timrymel.com/
Behind the Mirror Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
My blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Trauma is that line the separates the before and the after; the once was and now is. Whether mental, emotional, physical or spiritual the effects of are often the same. In this episode, I share a personal traumatic event and the 3 steps I took to climb to the other side: finding safety, grief/remembrance and re-writing my inner dialogue. These tools changed my life and brought me back to who I was before - only better and stronger. There is hope for you and your journey and I can't wait to see who you are on the other side.
Show Notes:
My book, Forgiveness is not an Option: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Not-Option-Journey-Freedom/dp/1620200155/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1438031104&sr=8-1&keywords=forgiveness+is+not+an+option
Podcast Episode, Rising from Pain: https://behindthemirror.podbean.com/e/rising-from-pain-how-to-heal-from-heartache/
My blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
FB podcast group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
In this episode I dig into American history with a look at the laws and religious customs of the Protestant colonists: how they behaved towards outsiders, how they viewed those who thought differently and how they treated those inside their faith who dared to step outside the lines. There are compelling similarities between the early colonists and the pattern of behavior inside American churches today. If you’ve felt like an outsider, been mistreated by your faith community or wondered why American faith groups behave the way they do, you will find much hope and clarity in this conversation. The best way to protect our future is to understand our past.
Show Notes:
My blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Facebook Podcast Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
In this episode, I tackle some common questions surrounding recent topics inside Christianity: what about taking the word of God literally? How do we know which perspectives on scripture are correct? Isn't the Bible clear on so many of these issues? How can so many "Christians" believe so differently? I admit to the bias lense I was taught to see with and share how I evolved into thinking differently. I break down each of these questions from the view of scripture itself, the model of Jesus and our overall history as a faith group. There is an offering of peace and clarity inside this conversation as well as hope for unity.
Show notes:
My blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/annadimmel
Podcast FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
In this episode, I talk with pastor, author and blogger Carlos Rodriguez of happysonship.com. This has to be one of my favorite conversations this season. We candidly discuss the state of American Christianity and the current tension between Christians. He offers a unique perspective on how to make sense of the condemning God of the Old Testament versus the redemptive God of the New Testament and offers empathy and understanding for those who feel like they need a break from church. He shares insight as to what we can learn from this new up-and-coming-generation and why he believes deconstruction for Americans is not only needed but is a good thing.
Show Notes:
Carlos Rodriguez: www.happysonship.com
Anna's Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Podcast Facebook Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
I talk with blogger, writer and former evangelical ministry leader Micah J. Murray about his journey of leaving the Christian norm. Micah candidly shares his story of being raised inside a conservative Christian cult and the heresy he witnessed during his evangelical career. He shares his deep longing to know that God was good and equally the fear and loneliness he faced once he stepped outside the box. His story is honest, brave and covered in marks of Divine love. If you’re up for a candid, unfiltered conversation offering different ideas and perspectives (and don’t mind a bit of swearing) you’ll love this conversation.
Show Notes:
Micah Murray Blog: http://micahjmurray.com/
Podcast Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
My Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
First of all, let me just say that YOU have an amazing story: one filled with hope, courage, tenacity and depth. But, often we don't see our stories that way. Instead we feel regret, guilt and shame over things we wish we could change. But, what if we were able to own our entire story without a tinge of regret or guilt? A lot of us don’t even think that’s possible, but I’m here to tell you, IT IS. In this episode I offer an alternative view to our journeys where there is no before and after – just one singular story filled with beauty and grace the entire way through. I think you’re going to LOVE this shift in perspective and I believe once you adopt this mindset, you will find a tremendous amount of peace and empowerment.
FB Podcast group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
My Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Whether you experienced trauma as a child or adult, according to Jim Lee, we all carry the effects of trauma. In this episode I talk with Jim Lee who currently serves as a trainer for the Splankna Therapy Institute which focuses on Christian mind-body protocol for energy psychology. We explore the topics of emotional pain, trauma, faith deconstruction, anger with God and relationship issues. He discusses how traumatic events can unknowingly affect our everyday life. Jim offers insight into ways we can identify our trauma triggers and understand our body’s natural responses to situations. He gives tools on how to transition out of unhealthy communities and cultivate new healthy, safe relationships.
Show Notes:
FB Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Jim Lee info:
jlee@leeinnerfitness.com
www.splankna.com
Ever wake up from a dream and know that it meant something, but can’t figure out what that something was? Dreams have been a valuable source of connection with the Divine since Biblical times and are still a powerful way to gain clarity, hope and insight into relationships, jobs and many other issues we are facing in our daily life. Over the years, I’ve become fascinated by learning how to interpret dreams (and have gotten pretty good at it). I take years of research and practice and break it down into 3 simple steps that you can use to literally interpret any dream. You’ll hear examples from my own experiences as well as a live call from a friend as I walk her through interpreting her recent (troubling) dream.
Blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Podcast FB group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Resources noted in the episode:
Biblical meaning of numbers:
http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/introduction.html
Article from Berkeley:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_your_brain_needs_to_dream
This episode is a bit different - in this episode I share a recording from my car, when was battling fear, anxiety and total heartbreak. I let you in on this raw moment and truly take an exposing look at divorce, faith issues and my personal heartache. If you've ever had moments when you felt like no one in the world understood your pain, this episode is for you. This episode is for everyone who feels alone in their hurt or in their story. You are beloved. You are seen. And, my friends, you are not alone.
Show notes:
Podcast Facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528
We all have relationships that are exhausting - you know, the ones that leave you drained and feeling frustrated afterwards? Yeah, THOSE. Some are life long friends that we don't know how to navigate, others are family that we love deeply but continually feel let down by and others are just difficult people that we are stuck constantly dealing with. In this episode I talk about how to set healthy expectations and boundaries where needed. I also share (from experience) what to do with one-sided friendships and how you know when it's time to move on. I also tackle those really hard (even nasty and mean) people that you feel defeated by. This is a valuable episode and I look forward to sharing some tips and tricks that have brought me freedom and peace in some of my hardest relationships.
Show notes:
Podcast facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528
In this episode, I sit down with my brother as we openly discuss the “me too” movement and the effect it has had on the church. We discuss the allegations of pastor Andy Savage as well as the recent allegations against an IHOP pastor. Should these men continue to minister? Should the women be expected to just forgive and forget? We weigh in on why women usually stay quiet and the potential harm of churches handling these issues internally. Jonathan candily addresses all the guys who fear potential scrutiny and equally offers hope to women who feel like there just aren't any good guys left. I can’t wait to introduce you to my one of my favorite humans and let you sit in on this unfiltered conversation.
Show notes:
My blog: www.justajesusfollower.com
Facebook Podcast Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528
NY Times artice: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/09/opinion/jules-woodson-andy-savage-assault.html
KC Star article: http://www.kansascity.com/living/religion/article202891924.html
I asked the tribe what they wanted me to talk about and this topic was the resounding answer. In this episode, I talk candidly about my journey with scripture; from the innocent blind faith to a world of questions and struggles, I cover my journey of wrestling with the Bible. I talk about issues such as contradictions, infallibility and the meaning of the “word” of God. I’ve found that questions should not be feared or avoided – but embraced and pressed into.
Facebook Podcast Group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528
www.justajesusfollower.com
One of my best kept secrets was my struggle with anxiety. In this episode I invite you into the parts of my journey that included anxiety, stress and daily panic attacks. From dealing with motherhood, marriage, career spaces and (embarrassingly) even sending Facebook messages, I expose the crippling affect anxiety has had on my life. I've learned a few things about what triggers my anxiety, the importance of naming it and how my past experiences have shaped my struggle in this area. I open up about where I am at today and the path I am taking to find peace and healing from a life of anxiety.
SHOW NOTES
Podcast voicemail: 913-890-3528
New private facebook group: www.justajesusfollower.com/podcast/podcastgroup
Blog about giving yourself permission to not be okay: https://justajesusfollower.com/2018/03/13/permission-to-not-be-okay/
Blog about some of my favorite things to help anxiety: https://justajesusfollower.com/2018/01/22/a-look-at-anxiety-and-stress-inside-faith-communities/
Have big dreams that you just can’t shake? Or a calling rattling inside you? If you have a dream you are passionate to pursue but don’t know where to start, this is the episode for you. Anna talks about how awaken the dreams inside, how to kill the need to apologize for what you are good at and how to reshape your confidence inside your space. She also discusses how your personal view of God will impact how you see yourself and your ability to succeed. With practical advice, Anna offers tools to embrace your purpose and unapologetically become your biggest fan.
If you are craving deep, real friendships this episode is for you. So often we spend tons of time and energy on a friendship only to be later disappointed when it didn't pan out the way we thought it would. Frustrated you are left asking, who can you be real with? Or who can be trusted with the intimate details of your life? THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. Anna exposes 4 secrets of how to immediately spot a lifelong friend - and equally how to sniff out the bad ones: How do they handle your honesty? How do they treat their other friends? Do they have integrity? Do they love you without trying to change you? The truths behind these 4 questions will empower you to confidently know who to invest your time, engery and heart into. Anna also offers personal insight from her own journey on how to deal with shame based friendships and how to safeguard your spiritual health inside relationships.
You are invited inside one of my hardest moments. I turn the microphone on and let you sit with me as I walk through heartache - in real time. Ugly tears and all, we talk honestly about how to handle heartbreak and grief, what to do with pain when it hits, that lovely topic of forgiveness and how to process anger when you've been wronged. Whether with a friend, family member or significant other we all face emotional pain. Learning how to process it well and rise strong on the other side is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself.
Self-described former navy seal Christian, Jonathan Bowles (slingshot show) developed many of the top mega-church youth internship programs in the country. Preaching on Sundays to up to 5,000 people regularly, he quickly became a force in the mega church world. He shares how he went from fasting 40 days at a time and reading the entire Bible multiple times per year, to a complete deconstruction of faith. He openly discusses when his theology began to shift and the tension he felt while simultaneously having to tow the party-line. Hitting hard topics like the effects of being “blacklisted” from your community after leaving a church, how different beliefs can alienate you, and the struggles you encounter once you step outside “the box” – Jonathan is brave and honest while equally offering hope (and humor) to those venturing outside the church lines. In our conversation, he defines deconstruction and the difference between spirituality and religion.
Are women able to lead without a male “spiritual authority” over them? Taking a look at church history, American history and biblical history, Anna explores the indoctrinated beliefs of patriarchy and spiritual authority. She discusses what was taught to her inside of church regarding her role as a woman - and how the example of Jesus (and God) in scripture dismantle the typical Christian (and patriarchal) gender roles.
Anna has an unfiltered conversation with friend and worship leader Marley Allenbrand. Challenging the common understanding of the verse, “be in the world and not of it”, they discuss Western Christianity and the culture it claims to be separate from. Are they all that different? Or is it just high school all over again? Anna takes a different perspective on this verse and how it relates to the political climate, faith groups and social groups.
In a transparent episode, Anna takes a leap of courage and addresses a topic that has been the source of anxiety and stress most of her life: lonliness. Growing up in the evangelical world, she learned to hide her inner thoughts and ideas for fear of being too different or not "Christian" enough. She also learned to avoid closeness, for fear of being too "codependent". She met everyone else's needs - but learned to not meet her own. She shares the crippling affect this had on her dating life, marriage, sexuality and friendships and equally the redemption she is experiencing in finding authentic connection, intimacy and true belonging.
On a drive home, Anna turns on her phone and records a raw conversation between herself and God. She shares her struggle with trying to control the outcome of situations and how she has learned to embrace the beauty of managing her cicumstances - not micro managing them. In every season of pain, survival or "ending", comes an invitation to new-birth. Peace, joy, adventure and your very best self can be present in the midst of a season of survival.
After being quiet for a year, Anna brings a heartfelt, honest look at the last year of her life. A divorce, the death of two family members and the ending of her role as a pastor - it was a year of pain, anger and grief. But, it was the beginning of a much needed crack in her exterior that led to the undoing of much that she had accepted as "normal". The year was spent in somewhat of a quiet inward wilderness, but it pushed her to be honest - really honest - about her story, journey and what she thinks/questions/believes about God. This episode is the beginning of that conversation.