Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™: Recent Episodes
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You’ve heard of “Neflix and chill” — where you watch a video with your date, then have sex. Well, I have found “Dinner and dalliance” more fulfilling. I enjoy conversation, better getting to know the guy I’m dating, before creating horizontal happiness. It creates more of a connection (or not!) than passively watching a movie.
If he balks about going out for dinner, then you need to ask why. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you because he’s concerned he’ll run into an ex, or another woman he’s also dating, or he assumes he’ll be paying and he’s cheap or can’t afford it. He may not tell you any of this, of course, but you need to ask what his concerns are. I’m amazed at what men have admitted to me when I simply asked.
You can also see if he just decides a restaurant without asking what you’d enjoy. If you go to a restaurant with table service, you get to watch how he treats the servers — often a sign of how he treats people in general.
Dinner could also mean take out or delivery, or fixing a meal together at one of your homes. You can learn a lot about someone by sharing a task like cooking. You can see if he is controlling, taking issue with how you do something simple like prepare a salad. If in his kitchen, you can observe how neat and clean he keeps it — I once dated a guy who didn’t clean up after his dogs’ meals so everywhere I stepped in the kitchen crunched as I stepped on kibble.
Warning: If you are not prepared for the “dalliance” part of this equation, don’t invite him to your home. I’ve learned (with very few exceptions) that many men interpret being invited to a woman’s home as inviting them into your bed. So unless you are explicit with “I’d love to have you for dinner, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for us to have sex,” know that for many they are tied together. Going to his home often means the same, so be explicit when you accept the invitation, as well. At least it is easier to leave his home before the evening gets steamy.
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He is smart, funny, charming, good looking, worldly, educated, successful, a sharp dresser, good listener and conversationalist. He tells you what you long to hear. He is vulnerable with you and you with him. His kisses and caresses make you feel what you haven’t felt in a long, long time. He tells you how sexy […]
The post The Tryst appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I dated a sweet man who grew up in an African village. He came to the US at age 19 to go to school. I loved hearing his stories of growing up in his village, living in mud huts, bathing in the nearby river, gathering water from a pond, making fire from sticks and moss, […]
The post The Goatherd and the Goddess appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
The phrase “keeping it 100” comes from “keeping it 100% real,” meaning being 100% honest. It’s shorthand for no BS, don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me the unvarnished truth. Don’t hold back. I decided to try this with a man while we were exploring going from pals to more. […]
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A man may enter your life who does not hold the work title or financial status you are seeking. But he’s a good man. He is honest, has integrity, treats you respectfully, listens to you, and is accommodating to your desires. The “what” is his profession. The “who” is his character, values and behavior. This […]
The post Appreciating Who He Is Over What He Is appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It’s commonly said that women try to change their man into someone more to their ideal. Men, however, are afraid women will change, as they like what they have. Not that a man can’t wish a woman was a better cook, was more punctual, neater, or had other habits he liked. But (generally) he won’t […]
The post “You Do You” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Agal pal shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year, […]
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You’ve been single for a while. You would like to have a special man in your life. But how? Women reentering the dating scene after a long absence need to first examine if they are ready to date again. After all, not only is there the possibility of being swept off your feet by a […]
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Some people set no distance requirements on potential suitors. One Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader shared she was romanced by a guy half way around the world for over two years! (They never met and he went poof one day.) Other people have ridiculously short distance requirements. Some men list 10 miles as […]
The post Long-Distance Dating Pros and Cons appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
This can be a common thought for powerful, successful, midlife dating women. It was expressed by Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader Diamond in a question to me: I’ve been in business my whole life. A friend’s mother shared this advice just prior to my running off to meet what I thought […]
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She said he has given her a 2-week probation to decide if he wanted to stay or go. This just a week after she learned he had slept with someone else while she was on a business trip. They have been living together for over a year. But he is unhappy because she cramps his […]
The post Is he emotionally abusive? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
My ex learned he had cancer 2 years ago. Since we didn’t keep in touch, I learned of it a year ago. He did semi-weekly podcasts for a few dozen friends to update them on his health. I listened to the previous 100 podcasts before reaching out via email. He said he was thrilled to […]
The post When your ex dies appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When I’m smitten, or even in the beginning of a budding relationship, I think about the guy a lot. “I wonder how his day is going. Should I text him? “I should ask if he wants to come over for dinner Friday.” “I need to ask him why his marriage broke up.” “I think I’ll […]
The post How much mind space does he take? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
He was not classically good looking. He had a pronounced nose and craggy face etched from decades of intense work. But his entrancing blue eyes made everything else fade away. He stood straight so his fit 57-year-old body seemed decades younger. And when he looked at you, it felt like he really saw you. He […]
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Both genders say confidence is one of the most appealing attributes in a sweetie. However, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Certainty is part of both. Here’s an example of when certainty turned unappealing. Mr. R had been calling and texting for a few weeks as he was making arrangements for a […]
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Wooing can be exhilarating, fun, and exciting. It’s nice to be the recipient of a man’s attention and affection. It’s especially nice when he’s good at it, but not so good it seems practiced. I’ve been the recipient of good woos and not so good ones. The latter wooers seem clumsy, perhaps out of nervousness […]
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I’m on an 11-day cruise. It’s not a singles’ cruise. Am I here looking for love? Yes and no. I’m speaking onboard. But I’m also got my eyes peeled for eligible men. Unfortunately, many more single women cruise with gal pals than men. Plus, out of 1800 passengers, I’d say only fewer than 50 of […]
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One of the unexpected experiences of dating after 40 is when someone you dated dies. I’ve had it happen twice now. Of course, death occurs at all ages. It’s just shocking when it’s someone you have met and become even a little fond of. During the Oscar show memorial of those who died this year, […]
The post When a former date passes on appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We all have stories of some date gone awry because your companion acted strangely. In fact, we love to regale our friends with these stories whenever mid-life dating enters the conversation. We never see that we might have been the one someone is telling a story about. How could we be the focus of a […]
The post Can you be wacko on dates? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I spent some time recently with a mid-50s, never-married, long-time friend. He’s been in relationships lasting a few years, but never found someone he wanted to be with long term. But he does love women and he loves to date. He had 3 dates last weekend with different women. He said he liked all of […]
The post Dating as sport appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I just returned from 3 weeks in Thailand and Laos. My dating life never seems far from my mind. Here are some examples of a few of the activities that reminded me of my dating life. We stopped to pet this baby elephant and feed her bananas. After each banana she insisted on grabbing me […]
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Do you ever feel sad at missing expressing a part of who you are? Maybe you love to paint but either don’t have the time or space to do it now. Or maybe you love to swim but you live too far from a pool to do it regularly. Or maybe you are exhilarated by […]
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Midlife men have said and done many things that caused me to think, “What??? The examples and my lessons fill Embracing Midlife Men: Insights Into Curious Behaviors. Just when I think I have a handle on what goes on in men’s heads, I’m confronted with a new curiosity. The latest is from last Wednesday’s New […]
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Good hot cocoa and good sex can both be delicious and satisfying. When each is good, it puts a smile on your face. You feel warm and happy afterwards. You often want more. When shared with someone you care about, they are fun and a great way to spend some time and you don’t say […]
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The beginning of getting to know someone is both energizing and frightening. The energy comes from enjoying the conversation and fantasizing about what could be. The frightening part comes from remembering past first encounters that didn’t result in a second. If you found the man appealing and wanted to see him again but he felt […]
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A friend’s 35-year-old son accompanied his father and step-mother to visit me recently. I’d gotten to know him as a young man and he was in town so they wanted us all to catch up. He’s a nice guy, but he has some “issues” most women would have a hard time getting around. As he […]
The post Scratching his head appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
“Clingy” has different definitions to different people. Some like their space, while others like to be continually touching when together. Others like to show their affection often and in public and some are more reserved. With this in mind, I watched as I spent time with a couple of six months. She was continually touching […]
The post Are you too clingy? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
After a few good phone conversations, we agreed to meet for afternoon coffee. It was a beautiful perfect-weather day, so I decided to wear a cute summer outfit. I spent an hour taking a shower, dressing and getting my cute on. Arriving early, I staked out an outdoor table at the coffee shop. He called […]
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I love that song by Gotye. I think it encapsulates the lingering hurt many of us feel after an unpleasant breakup. When I first heard the song, I immediately thought the title perfectly reflected my feelings about my ex. I didn’t have the resentment expressed in the lyrics, but the title seemed to fit. However, […]
The post “Somebody That I Used To Know” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You may have heard there’s a new smartphone app named “Yo.” It allows the sender to send a message: Yo. And the responder can respond with “Yo.” That’s it. That’s all it does. Wonder why you’d want such an app? It was designed because the developer’s girlfriend complained that he didn’t text her enough. Because […]
The post How needy are you? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When one ends a first date, sometimes it’s awkward. You’re not sure if he enjoyed himself as much as you did. You’re waiting for a clue he did. Sometimes it’s in what he says as you’re saying goodbye. “I’d love to see you again,” is a sure sign. “I had a great time and would […]
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As people age, some become happier and more care free, choosing to look at each day as a blessing, and not to sweat small inconveniences. Others seem to focus more on pointing out any inconvenience to those who they think caused it — or anyone within earshot. I’d been told that during my search for […]
The post Have we become grumpy old daters? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been invited to travel with men, but unfortunately, they’ve been men I haven’t yet met […]
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Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend? Or maybe you’ve been too afraid of ruining the good friendship you have if a romance doesn’t work out? I was […]
The post Moving from friends to more appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls until their allegiance to their spouse withers and they have become etionally attached to their new-old flame. Sometimes the damage is done without their actually seeing […]
The post Emotional cheating appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A pal shared a story of his best friend, Mel, who had some recent health challenges which resulted in him having zero libido. Not just during the treatment of his health problem, but afterward. Prior to this circumstance, Mel’s sex drive had been high. He’s been married to his current wife for about 10 years […]
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Most of the people I talk to about dating want to find “The One” quickly and get the dating roller coaster ride over. They don’t enjoy the process of meeting new people and being disappointed when there isn’t mutual attraction. Or if there is, it doesn’t last long. […]
The post Are you longing to end the quest too soon? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
The other day I was helping a newly dating pal navigate dating waters. He’s been dating about 6 months after the breakup of a long-term relationship and was multidating. He’s gone out with one woman multiple times in the last 6 weeks — we’ll call her Amy — and continues to see other women including […]
The post What does “I’m not ready to be exclusive” mean to you? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A 26-year-old pal shared with me that he took his girlfriend around the neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. “She said we don’t do enough romantic stuff and she wanted to do see the lights. So I asked her if this was romantic and she said yes.” I gave him kudos for listening to her […]
The post What’s your definition of romantic? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A few weeks ago I bought a new car — at least it was new to me. A neighbor was selling his used SUV with very low mileage. I had been thinking it was time to replace my car, but I hadn’t done any research or decided what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want […]
The post How new cars are like new men appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We typically date with a goal: to find someone with mutual attraction. Some of us also want love and a long-term, committed relationship. Some want marriage. Some want just a fling. After dating a number of people and we don’t have the outcome we want, it can be frustrating. However, if we shift our perspective, […]
The post Dating as networking appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common. When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we meet there’s a sense of familiarity. The meeting seems like a formality, just verifying the other isn’t bizarre looking or socially inept and is […]
The post Instant boyfriend appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Blathering. Babbling. Rambling. You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question. You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate. You lose […]
The post Is your prattling turning off your dates? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When you first meet someone and are deciding whether to see each other again, whether you want to or not, you consciously or unconsciously size each other up. In addition to deciding if you’re attracted to the other, you assess if you are in the same league as the other. This league can be physical […]
The post Dumped by someone below your standards appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
As a generality, men tend to keep relationship details to themselves. Their friends and family may have to probe and prod to even discover they have started dating someone. Guys keep that info to themselves. Only under rare circumstances would they share intimate details with their buddies. Women, however, tend to be the opposite. It’s […]
The post Too much information? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Most midlife singles have a vision of what they’d like their lives to be like in 5, 10 or 20 years. They imagine adventure trips abroad, luxury cruises, quietly enjoying their homes, or domestic RV trips. They may (or may not) have the resources to enjoy their dreams. There’s only one thing missing. A partner. […]
The post Are you an interchangeable cog? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Some men just go poof — stopping any communication with you without a word. Others break up — in person, by phone, via email, or more and more commonly by text. They send a clear message they are moving on. But there’s another way men exit from a dating relationship. They cut back their contact […]
The post Slip-sliding away appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
My friend has been dating a new guy for a month and it was going well. He’s emotionally mature, good looking, financially stable, fun and treats her well. They had two activities planned for the weekend near his home, an hour away from her. He invited her to stay overnight so she didn’t have to […]
The post The disclosure appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
At the farmers market, a woman asked the vendor how to tell when the nectarines were sweet and ripe. “The ones with blemishes and freckles are the sweetest. The prettiest ones aren’t as good.” I looked at them both and said, “Just like men.” After the laughter subsided, we discussed how handsome men tend to […]
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You’ve been dating a special guy for a while and have had several sexual romps. But you find yourself less than satisfied, even though you’ve giving lots of feedback on what’s working for you when you’re in the act. Rather than declaring that you’re sexually incompatible, you decide to see if you can discuss adjustments […]
The post Sexual continuous improvement appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When you first start seeing someone, what do you call it? Hanging out? “Seeing each other?” Dating? If you’re just going to coffee, on hikes, or to the movies, is that really dating? Especially if one or both of you are meeting other people?“Dating,” to me, is when something physical starts happening beyond holding hands. […]
The post When is he your beau? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When you first start being sexual with a new sweetie, you likely have sex nearly every time you see each other. Depending on your mutual libido, that could be several times a day! In the beginning, you may have sleep overs a few times a week. But what if you go on a trip together […]
The post The sexcation appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Any mature person knows that to keep a relationship humming, it takes some work. Even if you get along fabulously, usually there are a few hiccups that need negotiating. My ex and I started going to a counselor a few years into our relationship as I wanted a safe place we could work out any […]
The post Is he willing to do the work? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When we were younger, we might have been more nonchalant about sex. We progressed — often rapidly — from passionate kissing to petting to sex. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. Rarely — if ever — would we discuss beforehand our needs and desires. During sex we may have expressed what we wanted or liked, […]
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I’ve become friendly with my local street fruit vendor because he is friendly and has an easy smile. Despite our limited facility with each other’s language — my Spanish stopped in high school — we make an effort to communicate. When I wanted to buy only one basket of strawberries instead of 3, I struggled […]
The post Making his universe appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I loathe the term “cougar” and would never initiate a relationship with a much-younger man. When I’ve dated men 1-10 years younger they all initiated the contact. Generally, I’m not drawn to younger men as the ones I’ve been around don’t have the emotional maturity, world experience, or gravitas that I find alluring. Not that […]
The post The benefits of dating a younger man appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Some people enter the dating pool after having ended a relationship because of cheating. Some have been cheated on multiple times, by the same person or with several lovers. I’ve only been cheated on once (that I know of) and that experience was devastating. I can’t imagine how debilitating it would feel to be cheated […]
The post Learning to trust again appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
This was the first question asked by the radio host in a recent interview. I paused to consider my answer.“Some days yes; some days no” I responded truthfully. The host responded, “I’ve found a lot of people wanting to date don’t think they are attractive. Which hampers their efforts to find someone to date.” I […]
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After dating for a while, you refine what you want and don’t want in your next relationship. Your criteria get clearer and you get more certain about what will make you happy. Often these criteria include a person’s physical characteristics like height, or location or age range. I have clarified my criteria over the years […]
The post Finding Mr. Right in the wrong package appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Ten years ago today my husband of 20 years announced he didn’t want to be married anymore. I took it hard. I now call that day “The Great Awakening.” It’s amazing how much one can grow in a decade if one is willing to accept what is and not be bitter. I admit it took […]
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It seems that everyone dreams of winning the lottery, imagining all the things they’d do, buy, or donate to if they became a millionaire. In fact, some women (and men) blatantly say that they want to marry a millionaire. So imagine my delight upon entering the cafe/bakery in Cape Town yesterday to see a sign […]
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You can tell a lot about a person by how generous he is not only with money, but with effort and spirit. Sometimes a person can be generous with words of acknowledgement but nothing else. Sometimes it’s the reverse. A man I started to date 4 years ago moved into the friend zone after a […]
The post Is he a giver or a taker? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
They’d been dating regularly for 4 months, even taking a 4-day vacation together. My gal pal kept telling me what a nice guy he was — very thoughtful bringing her little presents every time he saw her. They became intimate early on. She liked him and enjoyed his company, but wasn’t smitten by him. But […]
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Listen to the interview of DG with Dawn Wright-de Brantes on the Dash Radio.
The post Latest interview appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
That phrase can have two interpretations — one bad and one good. “He’s up to something” can mean something bad, like “He’s up to no good.” The other interpretation is less common, meaning he’s working toward (or is) making an impact. This is the interpretation I’d like us to focus on. A few years ago, […]
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Listen to DG being interviewed by Dave Gordon on the Eargasm radio show.
The post Another interview appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Along with Dr. Ruth!
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Recently, I’ve been interviewed by two media sources. * Listen to a recent interview of me by RelationshipAdviceCafe.com (right-click to download to your computer). * Also on Money For Lunch. Forward to the 16:00 mark. It goes for about 15 minutes. I’ve got several more lined up in the next few weeks and will […]
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When I read some midlife men’s dating profiles I get tired. Not from reading, but from their exhaustive list of extreme activities — rock climbing, remote backpacking, BASE jumping, snow camping, cliff flying. While I appreciate their exuberance for adrenaline, I grow weary just reading their exploits. Am I not adventurous? I am in my […]
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I mean “capacity” in several ways. Does he have time in his life for you — the capacity to bring you into his life and the availability to be a part of your? Some people say they want a sweetie, but their life is already so full of work, kids, parents, friends, workouts, classes, etc., […]
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I heard a sharp rap through the phone. “What was that?” I asked my friend. He’d just inquired about my love life and I told him of the current potential suitor who was very attentive, but lives thousands of miles away — and who I’d not yet met. “That” he said, “was me slapping you.” […]
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I’ll be spending the hour with KGO’s Maureen Langan at 11:00 p.m. PST. Come join in the conversation!
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A pal is head-over-heals smitten with a woman he’s been seeing for 3 months. He thinks she’s The One. However, there’s a problem. Right before meeting him, her long-term relationship ended. When he asked her out, she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. She needed time to heal. However, that didn’t stop her from […]
The post What does “needing space” really mean? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
By now, anyone with a news feed knows of the the Manti Te’o/Lennay Kekua hoax, or what is known in the vernacular as catfishing. It is when one is duped in a romantic context, by someone purporting to be someone they are not. Scammers do it all the time, but usually they tip their hand […]
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As we date, we begin to define our deal breakers. Some are solid — no way would you date a cheater, domestic abuser, drug user or felon. But some, you learn, are more malleable. What you thought was a deal breaker, when attached to the right guy, isn’t any more. On my list of deal […]
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Part of the allure of the TV singing competition “The Voice” is that the contestants are judged initially on only the quality of their singing. I can see the wisdom of this, as one’s appearance and movements affect how we respond to them and it could sway how one votes for a performer. I thought […]
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Thank you Taylor Swift, for a lyric that perfectly reflects my sentiment. Especially now. Why?A month ago, my boyfriend from 3 years past indicated he “liked” my photos on a dating site. Keep in mind during 5 months of exclusivity he repeatedly told me I was perfect for him, then broke up with me by […]
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As a kid, were you ever disappointed when Santa didn’t deliver a coveted gift? I was. I would pout and sometimes even cry from disappointment, not being interested in the socks and clothing gifts that were utilitarian but not something I’d yearned for. I know I should have been grateful to have anything, but a […]
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As much as I love John Legend, his “Tonight” lyric is indicative of men who over promise and under deliver. If a man brags about his prowess in kissing or sex, you can bet you will be disappointed. When a man’s online profile claims he’s a great kisser — or more — I immediately sever […]
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My married BFF has patiently listened to my dating ups and downs for many years. At her suggestion, we decided to attend a well-known church’s fundraiser comprised of an evening of foot-stomping, hip-wiggling music and finger food. She said, “Our kind of men will be there.” Since she is married, I assumed she meant successful, […]
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I’m channeling Britney, with an “oops, I did it again” experience this week. I’d hit a dating dry spell of late with the men I’ve been encountering being too geographically, economically, or intellectually unsuitable. In a moment of weakness, I saw a man online who’d flirted with me 8 months ago, but then mysteriously cancelled […]
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There are many reasons we are attracted to someone or not. Often, it takes a while to experience their behaviors before we decide if we like who they are or not. And it’s fascinating to see how some overlook actions that would be deal breakers to others. Yesterday we had an extended family celebration at […]
The post Do you respect his thinking? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Unfamiliar with the term? Think of being in a primary relationship, but with the ability to have sex with others. Openly. With your sweetheart’s knowledge and permission. One of my acquaintances has this kind of relationship. She and her husband have permission from the other to “see” others. They refer to their relationship as polyamorous. […]
The post Are you open to an open relationship? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A pal who ended a decade-long relationship a year ago has fallen for a woman he met a few weeks ago. It’s the first person he’s dated after his relationship ended. I’m fighting the urge to run screaming into traffic yelling, “It’s not fair!” I have gone out with 112 men, only really falling for […]
The post Beginner’s luck appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Dinner was high atop the Istanbul Intercontinental Hotel in the City Lights Restaurant. We met at 8:15 so the sun had set and the lights on the Anatolian (Asian) side of the city were tinkling. The ships scurried below us and the Bosporus Bridge lights were putting on their show by changing color every few […]
The post I want to marry a concierge appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I thought that would get your attention! Europeans seem to have much different feelings about body image than Americans do. (I realize I’m generalizing here.) People of all ages, shapes and sizes seem more carefree at the beach and other places where one lets it all hang out. I’m wondering how that affects their dating, […]
The post Topless in Turkey appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
With apologies to Shakespeare, I was reminded of his line in Hamlet when a potential suitor recently showered me — or more like drowned me — in texts. Once we’d exchanged a few emails and he secured my cell phone number, he began his texting campaign — before we’d even spoken! When he asked when […]
The post “The lad doth text too much” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Brain scans show that the same regions of the brain are activated after taking cocaine as when subjects were shown pictures of someone they said they were in love with. When I’ve been in love, I’ve relished the feeling: the excitement when hearing his voice, getting his text or email, even just looking at his […]
The post The altered state of “in love” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A good-looking, successful, kind, generous, attentive, single man is wooing my single friend. He tells her how much he adores her and wants to be with her. He tells her it’s OK to take her time; he doesn’t want to pressure her. And yet she’s uncomfortable. Why? Because he’s 37 and she’s 57. He’s fine […]
The post Being in fond appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
In the last few months I’ve heard two stories of midlife women learning the man they were dating had an addiction. * A 60-something woman had met a similarly aged man and they started seeing each other. She enjoyed their local short outings and he seemed to be a good companion. They decided to take […]
The post Does he have an addiction? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It seems that when I gather with one or more single gal pals, the subject soon turns to dating. Today’s gathering was no different. This conversation centered around a pal who’d recently lost 100 pounds and felt she was ready to re-enter the dating scene. She had new-found confidence and was anxious to find love. […]
The post “It’s not my job” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Generally, I believe tolerance is good. You are open to new ideas and perspectives. You’re not rigid and adamant that your way is the only way. (Note: As I get older, I find I’m more and more intolerant of intolerance!) Since I’m generally pro-tolerance, why would I suggest that too much tolerance in dating can […]
The post Are you too tolerant? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
The men were well dressed, intelligent, good looking, successful, good communicators. They smiled and laughed easily and were outgoing. I moved among them, chatting and flirting. They were engaging and interesting. Yet I felt I was starving at this feast of men. Why? They were married. Argh. I was not at a singles event, but […]
The post Starving at a feast of men appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
This is the motto for some married travelers. They see solo journeys as an opportunity to cheat. Of course, cheaters don’t need to be away from home to be opportunistic. One can cheat with one’s next door neighbor if one wants. A new friend shared that her now ex-fiancé had another fiancée 5 miles from […]
The post Wheels up, ring off appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A gal pal mentioned that no one flirts with her. Or if someone does, she doesn’t know it. We are in Turkey and she is learning to get her flirt on. It seems that part of a Turkish boy’s initiation into manhood is a lesson on flirting. Or maybe this is just among merchant and […]
The post Getting your Turkish flirt on appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I logged onto a favorite dating site and eagerly opened the daily matches that are based upon mutual criteria. Only rarely is there someone who seems a match, but I look nonetheless. On this site, one has no control over which profiles are served — the match’s whole profile just shows up in one’s daily […]
The post A visceral response appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When they recorded “Somebody to Love” Jefferson Airplane made famous the sentiment that we all want someone to love: Don’t you want somebody to loveDon’t you need somebody to loveWouldn’t you love somebody to loveYou better find somebody to love. For many, loving someone is as important, if not more so, than having someone love […]
The post Somebody to love appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
One of the most common items I see listed under men’s “What I’m looking for” area in online profiles is “drama free.” It makes me scratch my head wondering why it’s so common. I guess some women (and of course, some men) live a life full of drama. The bad kind that comes from obnoxious […]
The post Are you drama-free? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I know this question requires you to imagine you had the Men in Black memory eraser applied to you. Then you could forget all his lying, cheating, hurtfulness, selfishness, and/or slovenliness. So imagine that you just met your now-ex — at a party, work, school, gym, with friends, in the hot tub — whatever would […]
The post Would you fall for your ex if you met today? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Last week a fellow globetrotting gal pal and I were sitting by the pool in Siem Reap, Cambodia during a 2-week trip to SE Asia. We were comparing notes about our recent dating lives. Or lack thereof. And our frustration at finding a sweetheart who had the means, time and desire to travel, and who […]
The post Would you move to find love? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It began 9 years ago today. I call it “The Great Awakening.” Two days earlier we’d returned from a romantic week in a favorite city. We held hands walking in the rain-cleansed park, enjoyed restaurant meals and sight-seeing together, had laughs with friends, and had passionate nights. He was intermittently moody during the vacation, sometimes […]
The post The great awakening appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You sit comfortably and watch the dishes go by. You pick what looks appealing. If you’re curious, you look more carefully and read whatever description is provided. If an interesting one slips by without your snagging it, soon another option appears right in front of you. You don’t even have to move. In fact, more […]
The post Why online dating is like a sushi bar appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
His profile listed his name as “Micheal” (sic). But his first email was signed “Gerald.” When I asked him about the discrepancy, he admitted his name was, indeed, Micheal. He said, “I just didn’t feel it was right to go ahead with my real name at first.” Didn’t he realize everyone he contacted would see […]
The post Congruency is the best policy appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You’ve heard such a being exists. But you have yet to encounter one. Not that you haven’t tried. Relentlessly. You’ve hunted in the places you’ve heard they frequent. To no avail. You mean them no harm. You would lavish one with love, affection and devotion if you were just to find one. You hear some […]
The post Looking for male equivalent of unicorn appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I feel a special connection with Susan Sarandon. Not that I look anything like her nor do I share her movie-star lifestyle. I met her when I was doing some work at Miraval, Oprah’s favorite spa, in the hills north of Tucson, AZ. She was there for a week with her daughter. We chatted a […]
The post Sexy at any age appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When one has been single and dating around for a while, it’s easy to make life choices around that single status. When you don’t have a sweetie, it’s hard to think in terms of “us” and “we” since that isn’t your current situation. Yet if you are actively seeking a partner you want to make […]
The post Remodeling for romance appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
After swimming in the dating pool for a while, you begin to wonder why some people even say they are “swimming” too. They behave in ways that show they are still on the pond banks, even though they’re acting like they are in the pool. What do these behaviors look like? He lists himself as […]
The post Cold feet appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I sent this picture and to a mattress-salesman friend — who’s also a single hunk. I suggested this offer might help him sell more beds. But aside from my smart alecness, it made me wonder if men saw this exchange similar to dinner and a dalliance. If the man buys the goods (lunch), he then […]
The post Such a deal! appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When dating, it’s common to get one’s hopes up at the beginnings of a new connection. If things go right at the start, we’re encouraged that the relationship will blossom. But what if there are hiccups near the beginning? Giving grace is admirable. However, what if there are too many to continue with that forgiving […]
The post False start appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It’s upon us again. Every year in the gloom of winter we fight the unwelcome bulges resulting from over-indulging in holiday treats. We trudge through rain, sleet and/or snow to our commitments, praying Spring will come early as relief. Just as the world could not seem harder or bleaker, it sneaks up on us and […]
The post Valentine’s Day — celebration or curse? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Long-time reader Richard sent me an email posing some interesting issues about how men and women see and need love and respect differently. Here’s part of our exchange. Richard: “Society has been focusing on “love” (which is great for women), but men have a basic need for “respect”. “Guys know that they have to show […]
The post Love vs. respect appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I strongly believe if you know you’ve done something to cause another inconvenience or pain, you should acknowledge that with an apology. What if there are too many apologies from someone you’re going out with? Or too few?When I was married, I noticed my ex nearly never (I’d say never but there were probably a few […]
The post Is “I’m sorry” a good thing or a bad one? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
(Readers: Ghirardelli asked me to write about my take on delicious dating and integrate a few of their products — which I do love. But full disclosure — they did send me samples. I thought you’d like this.) The prospect of dating after 40 can strike horror in the hearts of many women. Even though […]
The post Tips for delicious dating after 40 appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Is seems universal that people find confidence attractive. But at what point does self-assurance cross the line to arrogance and thus become unattractive? This week I was contacted by a self-described alpha male. These men are typically proud to be dominant, “my way or the highway” kind of guys. They consider compromise wimpy. They often […]
The post Alpha male — or just jerk? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
For decades men have been disparagingly referred to as frogs. The opposite of a prince. But what if you are being frog-like? Not in behavior, but in voice. As in croaky. The result of a cold. This week I find myself in this situation with two new men wanting to call and get to know […]
The post Being Kermit appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
“A Tootsie-pop? Really?” you say. You know, the kids’ treat. “How can I, an accomplished, midlife woman, be like a Tootsie-pop?” you ask. Good question. Let me explain. In a conversation with a pal who’d like to be a suitor, he was explaining my appeal. “You have this tough, businesslike, ‘don’t mess with me’ exterior. […]
The post Are you like a Tootsie-pop? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Resolutions are not just declarations of what you wish you could accomplish. They are firm decisions, according to the dictionary. So as we enter 2012, what commitments, pledges and promises do you make to yourself about your dating activities? Here are mine to get you started: * Keep hope alive. It’s easy to get disappointed […]
The post Dating resolutions for 2012 appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
The holidays can feel lonely if you don’t have someone with whom to enjoy the season. No matter what you celebrate — or maybe you don’t celebrate anything — December is filled with reminders to be with loved ones. What if you really miss having a special someone? You like to snuggle in front of […]
The post Do you feel loved at the holidays? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You’ve exchanged a few fun, interesting and engaging emails with a new guy from an online site. Maybe you’ve also had a satisfying phone call or two. He promises to call again in the next few days. He says he likes talking to you and wants to get together. Then… … nothing. No email. No […]
The post Men, dating and shiny objects appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Finding and Dating Men Comfortable with a Female Breadwinner Dec 12m 12:00pm PST/3pm EST, 8pm GMT; 9pm CET$47/£29 In this frank and lively webinar, two thought leaders will delve straight into the heart of what it means to find and keep love for high-earning professional women. Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris and the Dating Goddess will share […]
The post Join special webinar w/DG and Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
After a long search for your perfect match, you’d welcome help — any help — finding him. You’d do nearly anything to speed up your quest. This was my feeling last week when I found myself at Hong Kong’s Wong Tai Sin Temple. It is famed for the many prayers answered: “What you request is […]
The post Mr. Wong assists in search for Mr. Right appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Most of us would be hurt and disappointed if our man cheated with another woman. We would feel betrayed. But what if the object of our love’s attention wasn’t a woman — but his young grandchild?We want to be supportive, as children can be magical. A grandparent’s relationship with their grandchild can be hugely important […]
The post When the other woman is grandkids appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
This week I’m off to Bali, then Singapore and Hong Kong. As usual when I travel, I will post anything I observe that relates to dating, but will also post observations I think might interest you. Also, I’ve been invited to share my ideas with the UK’s leading expert on female breadwinners, Dr. Suzanne Doyle-Morris, […]
The post Bali bound and special webinar appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You can tell a lot about someone’s mindset by his word choice. How does he express his thoughts? By conscious, considerate language? Or disrespectful speech? Perhaps I’m being nitpicky, but I believe how someone expresses him/herself reflects their attitudes toward others. I’m sensitive to whether someone invites or requests me to do something or commands […]
The post Does he make requests or demands? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Right or wrong, a popular belief about sharks is that they are always hungry; always on the hunt. I’ve come across men who seem to have a similar unquenchable appetite — for sex. They are always on the hunt for new sexual prey, but not to the point of being sexual predators. They seek consenting […]
The post The sex shark appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
At a recent closing conference luncheon, the next host country, China, provided beautiful scrolls with a different saying on each. There was no notation on the beautiful red box which saying was inside. Several at my table unfurled theirs to have our Chinese table host read the calligraphy. “Happiness” read a few. “Long life” said […]
The post Finding happiness appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Various studies have shown that few people see themselves as others see them. We tend to either overrate or underrate our attractiveness compared to others’ collective rating of us. How is it that you can look in the mirror and say, “Looking good!” and others think you need help. I’ve recently decided our self-view is […]
The post Do you see yourself as others see you? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We all have funny dating stories about our forays into the unpredictable world of dating. Often these are tales of dates gone bad. What if you had to tell about your dating adventures with the criteria of making them positive and funny!I gave myself that challenge a few weeks ago when I offered to be the […]
The post The comedy of dating appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Do you know how to feel sexy? This seems like an odd question for someone in midlife. But an attractive, midlife woman came up to me after I gave a talk at an executive women’s event where she modeled in the fashion show. “That was a very cute dress you modeled.” I shared when she […]
The post Get your bad self on appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Saturday night’s interview with KGO radio’s outspoken Karel was fun. We talked about issues like Karel’s Third Date Rule, which is his opinion that you need to sleep with a suitor by the third date in order to see if you’re sexually compatible and should continue seeing each other or not. Since Karel’s husband died […]
The post Fun with Karel! appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Tune in Sat., Sept. 17 at 9:07 p.m. PST to hear me interviewed by Karel on KGO radio. Should be fun!
The post Listen to DG on KGO radio Sat. night appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I believe that part of being successful in midlife dating is stretching one’s comfort zone. By doing activities you normally wouldn’t do, you gain more confidence and explore if you’d like to do that activity again. This is the attitude that drew me to participate in a flash mob dance. My Jazzercise instructor was joining […]
The post Flash mob! appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
While most women appreciate attention and a man expressing his interest, sometimes there can be too much too soon. Then it feels smothering or borderline stalking. This week a new man contacted me from a dating site. He met the minimum requirements and seemed interesting, although he’s geographically undesirable. But I was intrigued enough to […]
The post Full-court press appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A good pal was telling me about a middle-aged, tall, athletic, single lawyer friend of his. I said, “He sounds like someone I’d like.” My friend responded, “I don’t think it would be a good match. He likes to wear the pants in the relationship.” I was taken aback. Responding as non-defensively as I could […]
The post “He likes to wear the pants in the relationship” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Bev asks: “How does a woman over 50 whose divorce settlement made her a millionaire + handle dating when most men will not have anywhere near her net worth?” First, since divorces can be devastating financially for both parties, it’s great you came out with a nice sum. And it’s true that many people experienced […]
The post When your net worth is bigger than his appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
My mother would refer to a single, traveling ladies’ man as someone who “had a girl in every port.” Just like many of the sailors she knew as a young woman. Now, as a traveling woman yet to find a local man I want to date regularly, I’m finding I have gentlemen in various parts […]
The post A suitor in every (air)port appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
At my professional association conference last week I got a lot of attention. I was very visible in a number of sessions, so had a lot of people acknowledge my contributions. In one session, I made a joke about looking for dance partners for the gala. About a dozen men came up to me afterward […]
The post Dance card unfilled appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Karen writes: “I am afraid I am too assertive. I start taking the lead when the man won’t or doesn’t. I see simple solutions (where and when to meet) and make suggestions. Is this really a bad thing?” DG responds: If you are a dominatrix, you have stuck gold by finding many submissive men! Not […]
The post How much is too much initiative in dating? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When we are younger, with our lives yet to be determined, we can fall in love with someone’s potential, not who they are at the moment. I know I have. A pal wrote today, “I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a woman, rather than […]
The post Falling for potential appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I have two 23-year-old women in my life who are both in bad relationships. This is not only my perspective, but they, themselves, often complain about their partners. Their mothers and sisters agree (the fathers aren’t around). However, their partners know just what to say/do after a blow up to keep my friends around. Each […]
The post Relationship advice for the next generation? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A friend shared that she was too naive after her decades-long marriage ended. She was clueless about not only how to be with men other than her now-ex-husband, but about how she could be harmed while she learned.Soon after her divorce, she started dating a successful man and they had regular make-out sessions. One day, […]
The post Your naivete can hurt you appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Deb writes: “I have had 4 dates with one man and I find him very interesting, funny, smart and a gentleman. How do I tell if he is really interested in me? I have read books and everything says to play a game, acting like you are not interested and he will come after you. […]
The post To play games or not? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A recent conversation with a guy pal was startling. He’s a smart, goal-oriented, ethical, solid-morals, middle-class guy. So I assume he hangs out with other like-minded folks. But apparently not so much.He shared that every one of his friends has “something on the side.” Meaning whether married or in a relationship, all of them have […]
The post Somethin’ somethin’ on the side appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Since my divorce, I’ve had a fear of dance classes. Not because I’m concerned about following the steps — I’m reasonably adept at that. But it’s for another reason — something that I think might plague other accomplished women. It might be something that you struggle with yourself. I’m concerned that I won’t be able […]
The post Following a man’s lead appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
He’s got a comb over, beer belly, and has donned a wrinkled shirt. Yet he thinks he’s James Bond. George Clooney. God’s gift to women. Why? Because he gets a lot of attention from ladies. Especially over-40 single women. Why? Because there are more midlife single women than men over 40. Women in that age […]
The post Are you trying to date men who think they are hotter than they are? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Salsa — a spicy dip and a spicy dance. My latest experience is with the latter. Dr. Philling myself, I asked how online dating was working for me. I’ve met some interesting men and gathered a few sweethearts from the experience, but know there are other options. Yet, being situationally introverted, I’m not great about […]
The post Dipping into salsa appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It’s a bit awkward when someone you’re newly getting to know invites you to a casual family event and you end up hitting it off with his family much more than you do with him! This happened to me this weekend. My new activity partner (AP) and I had agreed to see a movie. He […]
The post I want to date his family appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Yee-haw! Country Western dancing. Let’s go! This was my feeling as I decided to try something new, a bit out of my comfort zone, in my quest to experiment with meeting available men in the “natural” way. Common advice from dating experts is to take a class in something that interests you. So I thought […]
The post Two-step for one appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
While munching sushi and margaritas, the sweet, 62-year-old widower shared his concern as we discussed dating. His wife of 3 decades had died 18 months ago and he was dipping into the dating pool. What he found was a lot of aggressive, sexually hungry women. He was dumfounded that they tried to seduce him on […]
The post “I don’t know if my equipment still works!” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
His online profile mentioned that he loved sex, something that is usually a yellow flag as it says the man doesn’t have much of an appropriateness filter. But other things he shared made me give him some slack. Half an hour into our first phone call, he said he “loved, loved, loved sex.” He suggested […]
The post Casual sex appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I was listening to my friend Mike Robbins speak to a group about his newest book on authenticity, Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Already Taken: Transform Your Life with the Power of Authenticity. He’d asked the audience a few questions about what value authenticity has in our lives and then he asked why being authentic […]
The post Authenticity vs. strategic phoniness appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
“You’ll never meet another guy like me” he said confidently during our first phone call. I refrained from saying “Duh. Everyone’s unique,” but I decided it would be better to play along. I wanted to see what he thought was unique. “How so?” I asked, curious about what he’d say. “How many men have you […]
The post Is he selling too hard? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I’ve just returned from the royal wedding. Well, not the wedding itself, as my invitation must have gotten lost in the post. However, I let it be known to my British friends that I was available for anyone’s plus one. I would have dashed out and bought a fascinator! I was in London for a […]
The post Royal wedding — good or bad for midlife daters? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A few days ago, over a pain au chocolat in Paris, my French friend Benoit shared relationship advice. While it was something I’d heard before, somehow coming from a Frenchman in Paris, delivered in his charming French accent, it had more gravitas. DG: Benoit, the French have an international reputation for love, romance and sensuality. […]
The post Love advice from a Frenchman appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I like to flirt. I don’t ever expect anything from it. I’m surprised if there is a benefit beyond just fun. This week I had an experience that cemented my belief in harmless flirting. Not that I needed any encouragement! I’m in London this week and my travel pal and I decided to see a […]
The post The benefits of flirting appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I was interviewed on Dr. Duffy Spencer’s “Just Relationships” radio show for two shows. Dr. Duffy is a lively interviewer. Each is 30 minutes. Listen to Part 1 Listen to Part 2
The post Another radio interview appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Do you sometimes feel you’ve explored all the eligible men in your area who meet your criteria? Perhaps you’ve modified your online searches and lowered your requirements and still no one compelling has expressed mutual interest. You need to try something new. Dramatically different. For me, I’m trying not only a different route, but a […]
The post A broad dating abroad appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We’ve all had it. None of us likes it. It stings, although sometimes it’s a relief. It’s hard to give and to receive. Rejection. So I have a tool that will help the next time you are rejected by a potential date. If it’s by email, simply print out the missive and do what this […]
The post How to respond to dating rejection appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
You’ve heard this bromide from people who want to encourage others to be more bold, or to justify their own failed behavior. So does it hold true in dating? Yes, it doesn’t hurt to try… …to ask someone out for coffee who you’ve admired from afar, or even just met. …to contact someone online who […]
The post “It doesn’t hurt to try” appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
At the train station in Cheshire, England, officials erected a “No Kissing” sign since traffic stacked up while amorous lovers made out bidding each other good-bye. It made me wonder about our own personal no-kissing zones. Although many (most?) daters don’t mind some PDA, there are places we’d rather not neck. For example, after several […]
The post What’s your no-kissing zone? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We like our friends, in part, because of who we are when we are with them. We feel we can relax and be our best self. Unlike how we feel when we are around people who we find difficult, obnoxious or off-putting. Part of why we don’t like being around those folks is because we […]
The post What part of you is your date calling forth? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
It was great fun to be interviewed for “Girlfriend We Gotta Talk” radio show which aired Sunday. Download the show to listen to our lively 1/2-hour conversation. ______________________ If you want the real scoop on what it’s like to be dating again after 40, get your copy of Dipping Your Toe in the Dating Pool: […]
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Midlife singles often tell me that the biggest challenge with dating is getting a date in the first place. That isn’t what I see as the greatest obstacle, as you could easily go out with lots of people if you adjust your criteria. In my experience, the biggest issue is finding someone interesting and engaging […]
The post Getting traction appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
(Dear Readers: My fabulous former relationship counselor and friend Sonika Tinker has a teleseminar series and CD set I thought might interest you so I asked her to contribute a posting.) by Guest Blogger Soniker Tinker, MSW Many singles are tired of the dating scene and sick of superficial interactions. Most leave dates and singles events […]
The post How to make dating work for you appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Our society drowns us in Valentine’s Day propaganda — cramming down our throats that if we have a sweetie we have to go all out to show our ardor. And by implication, if you don’t have a honey, you are a loser. You know you’re not a loser. You have been working toward finding a […]
The post The long march toward a valentine appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
An interesting man contacts you through a dating site, but he lives several states away. Even with the distance, you decide he’s intriguing enough to get to know. Besides, you’re going to be in his general area in two weeks, and perhaps he’d consider driving to meet you. You get to know each other via […]
The post Deafening silence appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Younger men. Sometimes decades younger. Perhaps young enough to be your son. I’m not usually drawn to them because they are typically even more immature than the fifty-somethings I tend to date. And I abhor the concept of and term “cougar” so would never want to be accused of one. But every once in a […]
The post The joy of boy toys appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
(Dear Readers: I knew my friend and relationship coach Amy Schoen was offering her telecourse this month so asked her to submit an article to let you know.) by Guest Blogger, Relationship Coach Amy Schoen The clock struck midnight on New Years Eve and you were with your friends or alone with no one to […]
The post 6 Ways to Get Love Right in 2011! appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I had two dates recently with successful, nice, intelligent, educated men. However, I noticed something that I find extremely common in dating — they both had no idea they were droning on in great detail about people or stories that held nearly no interest for their listener (me!). I work to be a generous listener, […]
The post Do you suffer from verbal diarrhea? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When your friends are all coupled and rarely want to do something social without their spouse, it can be hard to find activity buddies. Sure, there are singles events in many locales, but often they feel like an audition instead of just having people with whom to do things. And other than your all being […]
The post The activity partner appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Men often show their connection by teasing and good-naturedly insulting each other. They can make pot shots about the other’s weight, thinning hair, bulbous nose, incompetencies, shortcomings or lack of sexual prowess without taking it personally. So what happens when a woman — especially a woman he’s attracted to — tries to join in the […]
The post Do you bust his … chops? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A 25-year-old woman agreed to meet — for the first time — a man she’d connected with through a dating site at his house at 9 p.m. to go out to dinner. When she arrived at his door, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her inside. There, a gun-toting accomplice demanded her keys […]
The post What was she thinking? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When leaving my exercise class at an elementary school auditorium, this sign caught my eye. It made me think it ought to be posted at coffee shops to remind daters to use their manners! Why did this cross my mind? I had another date that left me scratching my head. I checked with a couple […]
The post Thank you for using good manners appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
General wisdom is to take some time to be alone after any relationship ends. The shorter the time in the relationship, the less time it takes to recover. I once heard that most people need 25%-50% of a relationship’s duration before being ready to have another relationship. After talking for two weeks, a man disclosed […]
The post How soon is too soon? appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When I decided to hang a picture recently, I wished I had a stud finder to ensure the nail went into wood instead of just plaster. Then it hit me — wouldn’t it be great to have a similar tool when looking for a man! One that would guarantee hitting a solid man, not a […]
The post Stud finder appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
We’d talked on the phone a few times but hadn’t met. It was early evening when we talked again and he said he’d love to take me to dinner that night. But he had a favor to ask: his Jag was in the shop so would I drive to his area for dinner? He lived […]
The post Men underestimate women’s need to feel safe appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A midlife friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years. The reason he broke up with her is after a lot of soul searching and couples counseling, it became clear they wanted different things. When I asked how he was doing regarding this, he said he was using this as an impetus to […]
The post Breakup a time to reassess appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When you’ve decided you don’t want further contact with someone, it’s easy to ignore their phone calls, IMs, texts or emails. Perhaps you rise a level to at least send a “we’re not a match” email. It’s hardest to actually tell the person face-to-face. However, if you’ve only had one encounter, it seems counter-productive to […]
The post Taking the hard way out appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A new man started pursuing me and after a few calls shared how much he liked me. I had made no sexual innuendos nor teasing, so was taken aback when he said, “I want to make love to you.” I’ve heard this from a number of men and generally shake it off as they are […]
The post Sex talk too soon appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
When someone likes another, the “liker” wants a lot of contact with the “likee.” However, if the ardor isn’t equal, the likee can feel smothered. Case in point: I’m getting to know a new guy, thus far only by phone. He calls several times a day. Recently, I called him back from an airport and […]
The post Feeling smothered appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
No one likes it when someone they are dating “plays games,” which is a nebulous description of someone trying to manipulate the other. (We’re not talking Monopoly, Bridge, or tennis here!) But very few people can articulate what constitutes a game. (However, it is commonly agreed that if an “attached,” [e.g., non-single] person acts as […]
The post Setting boundaries vs. playing games appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Good-looking men are nearly always alluring. Some ruin it, however, when you spend time with them. Their good looks have made them arrogant, vain, insensitive and/or jerks. They are used to women treating them well even if they behave badly. In an episode of “30 Rock” Jon Hamm played a handsome doctor who Tina Fey’s […]
The post Handsome men who don’t know it appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I would have never predicted that this would be a problem in dating. But it was — for a friend of mine. She was dating a few guys casually. On the fourth date with one, he bought her a large flat screen computer monitor. When asked why, he told her, “Because you need it.” He […]
The post Expensive gifts too soon appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Sometimes we find ourselves thinking about someone we would have liked to date, but it never came to be. You wonder how it might have turned out. If he’s still single, you wonder if you should reconnect. Or if he’s now a pal, if we should telegraph our romantic interest. A colleague and I found […]
The post What might have been appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Since humankind began, people have been trying to improve their allure. Yet it seems elusive for many, even though some elements seem obvious: Attractive appearance. A willingness to consciously make yourself appealing to those you want to attract. I have no idea, then, why so many online profiles feature hideous pictures. And even with a […]
The post The keys to allure appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I’d deleted his contact info everywhere I could find it after he broke up with me via text 2 years ago. I was surprised to receive that text, as our 5-month relationship had been tumultuous, but I (wrongly) thought we were committed to working out our hiccups. Our last conversation two weeks later — via […]
The post A bad penny returns appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A DG reader shared that he learned his last girlfriend was currently married only after he proposed when she said she was pregnant. It made me think of what else would be assuring to have someone prove before you got too involved. Of course, it would be considered rude to request the following — at […]
The post Full disclosure appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I am a bit of a profession snob, tending to eschew men who I don’t feel have a similar job status. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. I’ve tried dating blue collar men, and I’ve never found it worked well. So you’ll be surprised to learn that I had a first date with […]
The post A date with a shepherd appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A reader wrote: “I am overweight — not morbidly obese but overweight. I mention in my profile that I am a bit overweight. I have yet to progress from one initial email with anyone. I feel as if it is impossible to get a date with anyone when you are overweight — am I wrong? […]
The post Don’t let extra pounds slow you down appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
There are lulls in dating life when you have no active prospects. You’ve moved to the “friends” category anyone who’s contacted you in the past. No one interesting has appeared on the horizon. For most daters, this is their most frequent experience, lingering, perhaps checking online sites for new arrivals. But either no one contacts […]
The post Dry spells appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I’d read data that said 50% of men listed on dating sites never get one contact from women. Yet my experience is that men rarely respond to my being the one who makes the initial contact, or for the few who do, it’s nearly all “thanks but no thanks.” So I decided to set up […]
The post My online dating research appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
I like to think of myself as a generally positive person, but I have my pet peeves. Self-absorption is one of them, although I’m guessing I can act in ways that seem self-centered to others. Over the last few years, I’ve noticed others acting in ways that seem narcissistic. The visitors to the church next […]
The post Dating in the time of narcissism appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Have you ever daydreamed about an old sweetheart from decades ago? What’s he up to now? Is he single? What’s he look like? If you connected, would the spark still be there? My cousin reconnected with his high school love during their 40th reunion. They had remained close after they broke up in high school, […]
The post Rekindling a school-days sweetheart appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A long-time reader asked me to address a sensitive, yet not uncommon midlife dating issue — middle-aged sex and erectile dysfunction. He asks, “How do you handle an attempt at sex that doesn’t work? How do you decide if this is a man you want to continue to see or is this a red flag?” […]
The post Sex, ED, and the single midlife woman appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Weeks ago my friend mentioned his brother was coming into town for a few days to celebrate my friend’s birthday. My pal said he’d like his brother to meet me. “You’ll like him” he declared. Since I like my pal a lot, I thought if his brother is like him, yes I would enjoy that. […]
The post The fix-up appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Hi Dating Goddess, I’m dating someone I’m very attracted to, and we have lots of good chemistry on a variety of levels. The only issue I feel the need to question is the way she kisses. When I move in close to kiss her, she appears to retreat within herself and becomes passively accepting. She […]
The post Addressing kissing mismatch appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along. For example: Men are more likely to make the first move, sending that first “wink” or email. They’re quicker to respond to women’s queries. Women responded […]
The post Online dating behaviors studied appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
In midlife dating, we repeatedly hear, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” At this point in our lives most of us have wrinkles, sags and perhaps even some scars or skin discolerations. Yet it takes a lot, usually, to look beyond the surface image. So what do you do when someone has a facial […]
The post Beyond face value appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
On our first date, as we walked to his car, he said, “I’ll open the door for you, but don’t get used to this.” I asked why. “Because I don’t usually open the door for women. In six months, I will have stopped and you’ll think something is wrong. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just not my […]
The post Managing expectations appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
“I will only date a woman who video chats” my tech-savvy friend declared. “What if she is like me, and doesn’t video chat because no one looks good webcasting?” “It would take a lot for me to want to start dating a woman who doesn’t do video.” “Some of us are too vain!” “Let me […]
The post Video vetting appeared first on Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40™.
Bulging biceps. Chiseled pecs. Taut tushes. The gym is part of their daily regimen. They look great in — or out of — their clothes. I describe these guys as”hunkalicious.” Sometimes the only muscles they’ve developed are below the neck. Holding an extended conversation about anything of intellectual value is a challenge. But sometimes they […]
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