ANTINNENN: Recent Episodes
Nnenna Ijomah
This is a tease for the introduction to the rest of my life. It's interesting when you finally understand we all live two lives. The Second begins when you realize you only have one. How long have you been working against yourself? Shutting your hopes, and the love you have out to survive your meekest self? My name is often misspelled, but it's Nnenna.
These podcasts are strung together in the name of a living, growing, thriving me. I want to remember who I was in these times. I also want to be impactful with the pain I feel if it will help anyone. I ask what does it mean to love yourself to challenge my depressive discourse. This is placed in my life to serve me and maybe you.
Episode 5 is on Youtube.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
"The most important things are hard to say because words diminish them." - Stephen King
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
It is a maddening shade,
How could you grow in the absence of color?
In the absence of hue,
In the absence of light.
So I hoped this would remind me,
Life is dark from the perspective your mind falls in.
The unavoidable is thought of in the dark
People show up for each other in dark times,
It creates a memory that records darkness,
with light
Dark or night time exists because of the absence of light
And in the absence of light we have nothing to lose
Night puts me at my most productive,
Reminds me that my suffering is not just for me
I am thankful
For the person I can be for others
As a sister
Daughter
A friend
That’s why I do this.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
ANTINNENN Episode 3 was difficult to record. Like most good things the realizations I made did not come with ease. The subjects discussed in Part 1 are of the faith I lost in myself, the deadly sins I committed along the way and the mental health I denied myself to serve a selfish path that was not enough to keep me from here, speaking my truth, with you. How far did you go the last time you stopped?
I’d like to die sometimes Selfish ya? Life is a gift to us but at times I just want my life to go dark and for everything to end Why,? Because at times I’m not living for myself At times, I’m living through the pain Of other people And it makes me weak Surface level stuff right? I wear a weak smile to survive the careless actions of others And ask, Is this bigger than me? Because then of course I could throw away the mask completely. The answer, Is a resounding yes. Why? Because it is in my darkest moments that I can write and feel a struggle that not only derserves a voice But deserves my most powerful voice. I retreat to the insides of myself to feel the pain that my loved ones feel. I feel I am a coward and a resentful one And maybe I don’t deserve to punish myself Some that know me personally will say I don't I do it anyway, for staying quiet So here's to speaking up: What was your upbringing like ? Did it cause you to leave yourself behind? What does it feel like to move that way As a shell of who you are Were you as fragile as me?
The worst of allowing your dark moments to swallow you is the loss of that spark that sat and waited for you at the end of your struggle. If you never find this light, then you never grow indefinitely. Maybe you finally figure it out a different way, but in the moment you'll never know what sort of creativity you lost. As an artist-writer, or creative, to marry the two, this podcast poses the question: How do you work against yourself? Who do we become when we leave ourselves behind.