Raising Mothers By Ashley Kahn: Recent Episodes
Ashley Kahn
I could not be more excited to share with you special guests Joe and Mell Hashey. Joe is a former high school teacher and business owner and Mell is a former social worker turned stay at home mom of three. In 2020 the Hashey family was turned upside down! As a result, they ended up changing EVERYTHING!
Together Joe and Mell chose to use their experiences to help others and started what is known today as Strong Family Co. Strong Family Co. was built around a 7 element framework that helps families establish vales and stress free family leadership.
In this episode we dive into one of those 7 pillars, "Confidence Building and Goal Setting Systems.“
Episode Resources:
Book: The Power Of Moments
Link: https://a.co/d/7HNkzKn
Connect with Joe and Mel Hashey:
Website: www.strongfamilyproject.com
Instagram: @officialstrongfamilyco
Facebook: Strong Family Co
Facebook: Strong Family Life
Have you ever reacted and then thought to yourself, “Dang I owe my teen an apology!”
Ya me to! If you are anything like the “old me” I used to apologize because it's what you’re “supposed to do!” Even though I would always apologize, I was always puzzled why the relationship with my children still seemed fractured.
In this episode I am going to share with you the two things you can do to ensure your apology repairs and heals the parent child relationship!
Entering the teen years is like walking into unknown territory!
When faced with unknowns, naturally conscious and unconscious fears arise within us.
Whenever fear rears its head you can expect control to show up! We think, by controlling a situation or person we can get rid of the fear of unknowns. Ultimately our need to control is one of the many faces of the ego that shows up as a way to protect us. One of the big things the ego in the form of control protects us from is feeling like we failed as a parent.
In this episode I am going to share with you three things you can implement as you enter unknown territory of the teen years that will take fear and control out of the driver seat and put peace and connection in its place. These three things will invite you to “Let Go and Lean In” so the parent teen relationship becomes deeply connected!
Do you ever think to yourself...
“I feel so overwhelmed and cannot get anything done!’
“My todo list is never-ending and I just feel like I can’t keep up.”
“I don’t even know where to start!”
It’s almost as if your daily schedule is running you and your left feeling like a chicken running round with its head cut off!
If this is you, then I am glad you are here! In this episode I will share “How to Run Your Schedule So Your Schedule Doesn’t Run You!” You will walk away from this episode with the tools you'll need to create a schedule that creates a life filled with more connection, free time, peace, clarity and fun!
Resources:
- FREE Download:
- https://www.ashleykahn.co/run-your-schedule
- Book:
- “The Power Of Habit” by Charles Duhigg
Have you ever done something and thought to yourself, “Oh my gosh, I'm so my mom right now?”
This happens because, things are CAUGHT not TAUGHT. By consistently being in the presence or same environment as someone, you will naturally pick up on their patterns, habits and ways of doing things.
When patterns, habits and ways of doing things are repeated so often they become ingrained and an unconscious pattern or habit. This means you end up doing the same things without even thinking about it!
The same is true when it comes to the parent-child relationship! The parent’s inner voice becomes the outer voice to the child.
The way the parent talks to themselves when they make mistakes, have a bad day, feel anxious or stressed, is unconsciously the way they will talk to their teen when they also have a bad day, are anxious, stressed, or make a mistake.
The expectations a parent has for themselves will also be the unconscious expectations they place on their teen.
You may be thinking, “How can I change that?”
In this episode I will share with you three things that you can implement today to start nurturing yourself and CHANGING the way that you talk to yourself and ultimately your teen.
I feel like the teen years should be called the “massive change” years! From physical changes, brain changes, hormone changes, relationship changes, you name it…it’s safe to say EVERYTHING CHANGES in the teen years!
When we become parents, it can be hard to recall what it felt like to be a teenager and just how difficult it was at times to navigate that season of life. It is also easy to forget how physically and emotionally drained you often felt.
In this episode I am getting vulnerable and authentic as I personally reflect on my own teen years, recollect the two core feelings I felt, and discover the 3 unmet needs attached to them.
Grab your coffee and come hang out with me and very special guest Mansi Maitri Parikh a fellow Conscious Parent Coach with a background in Communications and Psychology! In this episode Mansi and I share how you can shift your parenting to allow more awareness, mindfulness and consciousness creating the ultimate environment for your teen to thrive through this season of massive change.
Connect with Mansi Maitri Parikh:
Instagram: @coachingandcompassion
Website: www.coachingandcompassion.com
Additional Resources:
All quotes referenced in this episode are from the book Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld Ph.D. and Gabor Mate, M.D.
Have you ever felt blah in motherhood? If you have, then can I just say that is completely normal! Why? Because um well you are human!
The cool thing is in these uncomfortable and “blah” seasons of life you are gifted the opportunity for the next best version of you to bloom.
For me personally I have noticed this “blah” feeling typically creeps up as I transition into new seasons of motherhood or when something in me is shifting/growing/healing.
What I have come to recognize is that this “blah” feeling is simply a signal to start paying attention and become aware of the root that is behind the “blah.”
Inner shifts and transformations are exciting, because it's the process of shedding what no longer serves you in order to make room for new growth and the next best version of you…but you know what? Growth and transformation can be really firkin hard often making you feel "blah."
In this episode I am going to share with you the three things that I personally apply in my life that help me go from blah to ahhhhh!
This episode we are talking about how us mamas can guide and support our teens to optimal physical and mental health through nutrition. This is such an important topic because nutrition is a key factor in a teens physical development and mental health. While this topic is important, it is also a topic most of mamas aren’t quite sure how to navigate for the simple fact that there is SO much information out there, it can feel overwhelming figuring out where to start!
In this episode I am honored to have the best of the best and an expert in all things nutrition and human performance guide us! She is the one and only Kristen Blake! Kristen is an IIN certified health coach and holds a Masters of Science in Clinical Nutrition and Human Performance.
Kristen’s mission is to help women through education, empowerment and advocacy, take back their own health by harnessing the power of nutrition, biohacking and ancestral lifestyle.
This episode will give you the direction you’re looking for and leave you feeling, empowered, educated, and excited ready to take your teens physical and mental health to the next level.
Connect with Kristen Blake:
Website URL: https://www.kristenblakewellness.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KristenBlakeWellness/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristenblakewellness/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC63QK53oqDjq4QiRYPegj2w
SPECIAL OFFER on Kristen Blake Wellness Programs:
All Raising Mothers listeners will receive 10% off when joining any below program, simply click the provided link.
The KB Code: This program will take you from, "I just want to crawl back in bed" to Energizer Bunny. The KB Code is a 12 week transformational health program that follows the same method Kristen uses with her one-on-one clients.
- Registration window is open from March 20, 2023 - March 27, 2023
- https://www.kristenblakewellness.com/a/2147486382/ihtoozL2
The KB Club: A membership program with women just like you wanting to take back theirs and their families health. The KB Club contains exclusive content, masterclasses, and weekly live calls.
- https://www.kristenblakewellness.com/a/2147530681/ihtoozL2
Additional Resources:
Court & Kitchen by Kristen Blake, Michelle Tegenkamp, and Dr. Bethany Tennant: Court & Kitchen ebook provides performance nutrition for hoopers featuring 25 basketball specific recipes.
- https://a.co/d/f5V6Esn
BeautyCounter:
- https://www.beautycounter.com/ashleykahn
In this episode I am sharing something that has been heavy on my heart and inspired by a question that so many mamas of teens ask and that is, “Is it to late to start parenting consciously if your children are in their teen years?”
If you are a mama of a teen and have asked this very question, I have some good news for you! The short answer to that question is NO! In fact regardless of your child/rens ages IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO START PARENTING CONSCIOUSLY!
Come hang out with me as I share with you how you can START parenting consciously now!
Raising Mothers Podcast YouTube:
https://youtu.be/Ee5B1rrZUZ4
When teenagers don’t feel like they belong, they will search for a place to feel like they fit in often becoming somebody who others want them to be.
I love this quote by Brene Brown:
“The minute you become who someone wants you to be, in order to fit in and make sure people like you, is the moment you no longer belong anywhere.”
The question is then how can we as mamas create an environment for our teenagers to feel like they are loved and accepted exactly as they are and truly feel like they belong in our family and at home?
In this episode, I am excited to share Lindsay Law with you as we dive deep into the topic of belonging.
Lindsay Law is a Certified Youth & Parent Life Coach. Lindsay helps youth quiet the anxiety that comes from not feeling enough and together they work to replace perfectionism with self confidence. Lindsay also teaches parents how to respond to their teens in a way that promotes connection and acceptance in the relationship.
Grab your coffee and come hang out with us as we shed light on what you can do to create an environment for your teenager to feel like they belong without changing who they are!
Connect with Lindsay Law:
Instagram: @youthrisingcoach
Website: youthrisingcoach.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQxUkLKT8Itb9tFstz29TxQ?view_as=public
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Youth-Rising-100357341726054
Mother Daughter Retreat: www.youthrisingcoach.com/motherdaughterretreat
Resources:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sense-belonging/201906/the-importance-belonging-across-life
- Quote by Brene Brown
- Brainstorm by Daniel Siegel M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Brainstorm-Daniel-J-Siegel-M-D-audiobook/dp/B00H7JJP26/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2N58MB12AFXE4&keywords=brainstorm+by+daniel+siegel&qid=1676822447&sprefix=brainstor%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-1
- Hold On to Your Kids by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Mate: https://www.amazon.com/Hold-On-to-Your-Kids-audiobook/dp/B07FKCRK88/ref=sr_1_1?crid=20TKGANCFPS02&keywords=hold+on+to+your+kids+gordon+neufeld&qid=1676822558&sprefix=hold+on+to+your+kids%2Caps%2C269&sr=8-1
If an episode could be a party then this is it! I am so excited to share with you two of my fave faves Sarah Teichmuller and Char Stammer!
Sarah Teichmuller is a mama to two boys, a certified life coach for women specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. Sarah’s mission is to guide women through a transformational process in order to create a lighter and authentic personal and professional life. Sarah’s wisdom penetrates to the soul and inspires you to be the best you.
Char Stammer is a mama to two, a daughter (17yrs) and son (20yrs). Char is a certified parent coach through the Jai Institute and her mission is to spread love and light through her one minute love nuggets she shares on social media. Char’s light is so bright you can’t help but be drawn to it!
In this episode we talk about the expectations we had about motherhood, the internal and external shifts we experienced when we became mothers, the things we struggled with in motherhood, and how motherhood gave us the most beautiful gift of showing us the way back to ourselves.
The vulnerability and authenticity throughout this episode will pull on all your heart strings. This episode will leave you feeling like you are not alone, and will inspire you to starting living a conscious life!
Connect with Raising Mothers Podcast guests:
Sarah Teichmuller:
Instagram: @thriving_with_sarah
Char Stammer:
Instagram: @twinsloveonefromabove
Facebook: Starting Over Again As A Parent
Facebook Link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1758480084466820
I literally could not be more honored and excited to share my girl Kendra Williams with you all! Kendra is a mother to two, a Certified Conscious Parent Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali’s Coaching Institute™ and an expert on all things matresence.
Kendra is hysterical, wildly entertaining and is as real and authentic as they come! She is a truth teller and has an incredible way of educating and guiding new mothers as they navigate their shifting identity in motherhood!
Being a new mom is a season that naturally comes with a lot of changes and adjustments! Many of these changes and adjustments are completely different from what we expected and quite frankly we do not feel prepared for.
Often times, this new season of motherhood can leave women feeling like there is something wrong with them or the way they are mothering. Mama you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you! In fact there is a term for what new mothers go through and is matresence.
Come hang out with Kendra and I as we talk about all things matresence, the seasons of motherhood, the importance of a motherhood village and so much more. This episode is straight gold and is going to leave you feeling seen, empowered and supported!
Connect with Kendra Williams:
Instagram: @its.kendrawilliams
TikTok: @its.kendrawilliams
Website: https://www.kendra-williams.com
This is episode #20 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
Truth is nobody is born confident. In fact, confidence is something that you develop and strengthen as you go through life.
In order for parents to create an environment for their chid's confidence to grow, strengthen, and develop we the parent must embody and model confidence. It is near impossible for parents to teach their children the tools and skills if the parent does not have the tools and skills themselves.
Come hang out with me and I will share with you how you the parent can equip yourself with the tools and skills needed to build confidence so you can empower your child to do the same.
This is episode #19 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
This episodes special guest is Debbie Wheeler! Debbie is a wife of 38 years, a mom of three girls, and a Baba to 4 grandkids. She is a bright light, a fountain of wisdom, an answer seeker, the best advice giver, and the definition of what a godly woman looks like. She is a certified counselor for those in recovery and a mentor for mothers. She is on a mission to empower women to be courageous, fearless, emotional and spiritual leaders.
In this episode we discuss how connection builds a solid foundation for the parent child relationship. When the parent and child have a strong connection and a solid foundation, the child will thrive in all aspects of their life and develop unshakeable confidence in themselves. Come hang out with us as Debbie and I get vulnerable and share with you how we struggled with connecting and how you can learn from our mistakes.
Connect with Debbie Wheeler:
- https://www.instagram.com/fixedonchange/
This is episode #18 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
This episodes special guest is Debbie Wheeler! Debbie is a wife of 38 years, a mom of three girls, and a Baba to 4 grandkids. She is a bright light, a fountain of wisdom, an answer seeker, the best advice giver, and the definition of what a godly woman looks like. She is a certified counselor for those in recovery and a mentor for mothers. She is on a mission to empower women to be courageous, fearless, emotional and spiritual leaders.
In this episode we discuss what it looks like for parents to model healthy ways to navigate solutions. Through modeling, encouraging, and guiding parents can create an environment for their children to feel confident and empowered in navigating solutions in their own life.
Connect with Debbie Wheeler:
- https://www.instagram.com/fixedonchange/
This is episode #17 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
In this episode my dear friend and personal coach Meg O’Keeffe joins us! Meg O’Keeffe is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is also Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™.
Empathy is learned and modeled. Parents who model empathy towards themselves and their child, create an environment for their child to also extend empathy towards themselves and others.
When your child is going through something, it is an opportunity for you the parent to model empathy and compassion by validating what your child is feeling. There are no “bad” feelings. When children are heard, seen, and validated they gain confidence and are open to connect.
Come hang out with Meg and I, as we share how you the parent can model empathy and why empathy is a crucial component to healthy relationships.
Connect with Meg O’Keefe:
- https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/heart_centered_parent/
This is episode #16 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
In this episode my dear friend and personal coach Meg O’Keeffe joins us! Meg O’Keeffe is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is also Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™.
As parents, one of the greatest things we can MODEL for our children is how to become aware of, process, and deconstruct, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. One of the greatest things we can CREATE for our children is a safe environment for them to also go through this process of decostructing and healing.
When children have a safe environment that they can go to knowing without a shadow of doubt that all of our (the parent) judgements, expectations and projections are left at the door and they (the child) are encouraged to come as they are, exhale, process, and deconstruct their own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs your child will grow into a healthy human being that is confident and liberated.
Come hang out with Meg and I while we share with you three things you can do as a parent to guide your child in developing these live changing and confident building skills.
Connect with Meg O’Keefe:
- https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/heart_centered_parent/
This is episode #15 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
In this episode my dear friend and personal coach Meg O’Keeffe joins us! Meg O’Keeffe is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is also Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™.
Children have a lot going on in their days and are constantly on the go leaving little time to just be. As a result, children are often running on emotions and autopilot. Running on autopilot naturally makes us unaware of needs and creates disconnection to self.
When a child is able to slow down, pause, and awaken awareness they give themselves the gift of reconnecting to themselves. As a result they are able to set healthy boundaries, prioritize self care and clearly communicate needs.
Come hang out with us and we will share with you the 4 things that create an environment for children to identify their needs.
Resources:
Naming Your Feelings + Needs:
https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/blog/feelings-our-pathway-to-our-human-potential
Connect with Meg O’Keefe:
- https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/heart_centered_parent/
This is episode #15 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
In this episode my dear friend and personal coach Meg O’Keeffe joins us! Meg O’Keeffe is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is also Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™.
Children have a lot going on in their days and are constantly on the go leaving little time to just be. As a result, children are often running on emotions and autopilot. Running on autopilot naturally makes us unaware of needs and creates disconnection to self.
When a child is able to slow down, pause, and awaken awareness they give themselves the gift of reconnecting to themselves. As a result they are able to set healthy boundaries, prioritize self care and clearly communicate needs.
Come hang out with us and we will share with you the 4 things that create an environment for children to identify their needs.
Resources:
Naming Your Feelings + Needs:
https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/blog/feelings-our-pathway-to-our-human-potential
Connect with Meg O’Keefe:
- https://www.heartcenteredparent.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/heart_centered_parent/
This is episode #14 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
What is perfection? Why do children often strive for it?
- Perfection is proof to self that we are good enough.
- Perfection is the way of the ego protecting self from getting hurt by failiure.
- Perfection is deeply rooted in fear. Fear of failure and fear of not feeling worthy.
Confident children free themselves of perfection and know their worth is not based on how "perfect" they do things or how "perfect" they are. Confident children know that perfection is un-obtainable.
Truth is NOTHING and NOBODY is perfect!
If your child is on the hamster wheel of perfection, chances are they're exhausted! The cool thing is we can help our child jump off the hampster wheel.
When your child learns to free themselves of perfection, they will feel like they can finally catch their breathe!
In this episode I will share with you four things confident children do to free themselves of perfection!
This is episode #14 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
What is perfection? Why do children often strive for it?
- Perfection is proof to self that we are good enough.
- Perfection is the way of the ego protecting self from getting hurt by failiure.
- Perfection is deeply rooted in fear. Fear of failure and fear of not feeling worthy.
Confident children free themselves of perfection and know their worth is not based on how "perfect" they do things or how "perfect" they are. Confident children know that perfection is un-obtainable.
Truth is NOTHING and NOBODY is perfect!
If your child is on the hamster wheel of perfection, chances are they're exhausted! The cool thing is we can help our child jump off the hampster wheel.
When your child learns to free themselves of perfection, they will feel like they can finally catch their breathe!
In this episode I will share with you four things confident children do to free themselves of perfection!
This is episode #13 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
Special guest Debbie Wheeler joins us in this episode sharing her wisdom and experience as a councelor in drug and alcohol addiction on the importance of noticing the truth vs our stories.
In this episode, Debbie and I will show you how to guide your child in becoming aware their story based on deeply rooted beliefs and how to uncover the truth.
References:
-
Reene Jane Psychologist and creator of GoZen tool the 5c's
-
https://gozen.com
This is episode #13 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
Special guest Debbie Wheeler joins us in this episode sharing her wisdom and experience as a councelor in drug and alcohol addiction on the importance of noticing the truth vs our stories.
In this episode, Debbie and I will show you how to guide your child in becoming aware their story based on deeply rooted beliefs and how to uncover the truth.
References:
-
Reene Jane Psychologist and creator of GoZen tool the 5c's
-
https://gozen.com
This is episode #12 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
Special guest Debbie Wheeler joins us in this episode sharing her wisdom and experience as a councelor in drug and alcohol addiction on the importance of observing thoughts.
In this episode, Debbie and I will show you how to guide your child in becoming aware of their thoughts and observing them.
References:
-
Reene Jane Psychologist and creator of GoZen tool called the 5c's
-
https://gozen.com
This is episode #11 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
Special guest Debbie Wheeler joins us in this episode sharing her wisdom and experience as a councelor in drug and alcohol addiction on the importance of creating healthy boundaries.
I love this quote by Dr. Shefali from the book The Awakened Family:
"Life enhancing boundaries help our children cope with life. They strengthen their reslience and help enable them to feel secure."
In this episode, Debbie and I will share with you how you can guide your child in creating their own life enhancing boundaries.
References:
- Quote by Dr. Shefali from the book The Awakened Family
This is episode #10 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
As parents we naturally want to rush in and fix things for our children the second we see them uncomfortable and in emotional pain.
One of the best gifts we can give our children is to pause, let the emotions settle, come back to center, and see the situation for what it is.
Learning to shed jaded lenses and see a situation for what it is, allows you the parent to guide your child and give them the gift of strengthening and adding tools + skills to their tool belt that will empower them to navigate this life rather than be paralyzed by it.
The truth is when we guide and empower our children to navigate what they go through using the tools and skills that are accessible to them, you create an environment for your child's confidence to grow!
This is episode #9 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
When your child goes through something or has big emotions, how does that make you feel? What is your mama bear instinct to do?
If your anything like me, I naturally want to jump in to fix and take control of the situation with the hopes that I can take away the unpleasant feelings or even pain. Seeing our children hurting or in pain breaks your mama heart into a million little pieces.
But heres the deal, when we try to fix and control our children naturally disconnect from their true authentic self and instead learn to manage and suppress their emotions to make the parent comfortable.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids is to be present in the moment attuning in to what it is that our kids need and then consciously guide them.
You see when we learn to be present, sitting with our kids in the midst of what they are going through, it allows our children to have their own experience rather than an experience manipulated and directed by the us the parent.
I love this quote from the book The Conscious Parent By Dr. Shefali, “Rather than psychologizing your children, simply allow. To allow and witness will enable your children to learn the art of self reflection instead of fostering dependance on you.”
This is episode #8 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
The truth is we all have solutions and answers to the things that we go through. The solutions and answers can be found in our heart space.
However we as human beings are so in our head space with our thoughts and beliefs that we start to believe we don’t know what we should do causing us to feel paralyzed or stuck and unable to create change.
We as parents can give our kids a beautiful gift of helping them navigate solutions to whatever it is they are facing.
In this episode I will show you how you can navigate solutions with your kids allowing them to feel empowered and confident.
This is episode #7 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
What is empathy anyways? Empathy according to Websters Dictionary is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”
Why is empathy so important in the parent child relationship? Empathy builds connection and where there is connection their confidence in the relationship and in the child. Why? Because they know that whatever they go through, they are not alone!
In this episode we will take a closer look at what empathy truly is and how you can empathize with your child ultimately creating an environment for their confidence to grow.
This is episode #6 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
We all grow up carrying with us our deeply engrained beliefs. Typically from the age of 0-7 is when our beliefs systems were created. Our belief systems are created based on culture, religion, parental upbringing and our earliest experiences. It's these beliefs systems that were created that become the lens in which we see the world, relationships ect. It is also our beliefs that create our feelings, thoughts and reactions.
Truth is our children also have these belief systems and their behaviors are a clue for us the parent to help them navigate.
In this episode I will show you how discussing your childs feelings, thoughts and beliefs will allow them to shed what no longer serves them setting them free and building their confidence.
This is episode #5 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
All to often as parents we miss the underlying root or need beneath our child's behavior and find ourselves reacting to them based on our perception or judgement of the situation, circumstance or behavior.
In this epsiode I am going to show you how you can identify the underlying root and need of your child to create an environment of healing and peace.
This is episode #4 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody.
“Our expectations are a disguise for our fears and unmet inner needs.” Dr Shefali The Awakened Family
If I were to ask you what are three things you expect of your child, you would probably be able to give me three expectations right off the bat.
Here's the deal we all have expectations whether we are aware of them or not. Not only do we have expectations, we are often deeply attached to them. Our attachment to expectations, what we think our child "should" do and be creates disconnection.
When we free our child from our expectations, we create an environment that welcomes engagement and connection.
So how then do we create an environment that welcomes connection and frees our child from our expectations? We become aware of what our underlying unmet inner need and fear is.
You see expectations are a way to control and quite simply a coping skill we have developed to ease our fear and unmet inner needs.
Come hang out with me and I will show you how to discover your fear behind your expectations and how to free your child from them.
We all have deeply rooted beliefs! From 0-7 years of age is typically when our core beliefs were created and influenced by culture, religion, parental upbringing, relationships, environment ect. We carry these beliefs with us throughout our whole life, they become the lenses in which we view the world and relationships.
When we have children all to often these deeply rooted beliefs unconsciously get projected onto our children.
Come hang out with me as I share how you can become aware of your judgements, deconsctruct how they got there, shed them and heal so both you and your child can live in a judgement free zone!
This episode is #2 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody!
By observing the child in front of you the parent/caregiver creates an envrionment for the childs confidence to grow by sending the message to the child that they are loved as is and there is nothing to fix. The parent/caregiver recognizes their own projections, perceptions, desires and dreams and is conscious to not place these onto the child. Instead the parent/caregiver celebrates the child in front of them for all that they are and guides them according to the childs true authentic self.
Come hang out with me as we do a deep dive on how you can begin to remove the lenses and be able to observe the child in front of you.
Hey sis! This episode is #1 of a 20 episode series on raising confident children and the characteristics + habits confident children embody!
To create a safe environment for our child's cofidence to grow, the parent/caregiver must meet three needs. These three needs are:
-
To be seen
-
To know they are worthy
-
To know they matter
Come hang out with me as we do a deep dive into how we can meet each of these needs, resulting in the creation of a safe environment.
Driving in the car with your kids can be an environment that allows for some of the most beautiful conversations! The other day my sweet daughter asked some beautiful questions on our drive to cheer which led to an amazing conversation.
The conversation was so powerful that I just have to share with you the three things that came up for me. As parents if we can do these three things consistently with neutral energy we will have a hand in healing this world that currently has so much division and instead create connection.
Do you have a todo list that never seems to end? Are you constantly on the go? Do the words SLOW DOWN make you anxious? Life can naturally be busy and it takes mindfulness and intention to slow down and be still. If we don't, life will pass us by and we won’t be able to experience the deep connection with ourselves and others that human beings need to thrive.
Here’s the deal when we jam pack our days and are busy going from one thing to the next or tirelessly trying to cross everything off our todo list we miss the beauty that is found in stillness, that is found in the present moment. When we slow down we create space to observe the child in front of us and really get to know them. When we slow down we look at our kids with adoration, love and curiosity.
Slow down for what? Slow down to experience all the joy this life offers.
Most of us unless we are somewhat conscious go through our days unconscious. Meaning we go from one thing to another with no real thought. It’s almost as if we are robots moving mindlessly through our days unaware of how we are feeling inside, unaware of our environment and its effects on us and unaware of what is causing us to emotionally react.
The road to consciousness is a journey. When we start to become more and more aware of what is happening within us and around us it is normal to feel well overwhelmed with the thought of all the things we quote on quote need to work on or change.
Two words sis DEEP BREATHE. One thing at a time. Just like an athlete in training create a plan and focus on one thing at a time.
Come hang out with me and I will show you how you can take change and growth step by step creating healthy habits and patterns that will stick all while giving yourself grace in the process.
We are more comfortable being uncomfortable than we are with taking the appropriate steps to make changes to experience true joy, true happiness, liberation and freedom. It’s almost as if we are allergic to change.
Come hang out with me sis and I will share with you tools you can use to effectively make the changes needed in your life that will create an environment for the life and relationships you desire!
I was watching a leadership conference and one of the speakers said something that really spoke to my soul. She said, "You can shape the world to your desires." I mean how empowering is that?
It got me to thinking, we can also shape our family to our desires! How? Listen in and I will share with ya sista!
Two words “teen years!” For some of you these words may bring up feelings of stress and anxiety because you have heard how difficult the teen years can be. Maybe you are in the thick of the “teen years” feeling disconnected as if you and your child are living on different planets. The words “teen years” may bring up sadness because you feel like you are loosing your baby. You may find yourself dreaming of the days when your child was little and looked at you with adoring eyes never wanting to leave your side. I get it!
There comes a time where when our kids become pre teens and teens who start wanting their own space and independence. All to often as parents we take that change so personal, as if it was a direct reflection of how our kids feel about us.
Here is the deal the teen years don’t have to be difficult, in fact it can be an absolutely beautiful season providing you with an opportunity to grow personally, create a deeper connection with your child and build healthy communication.
Come hang out with me and I will share with you how spending intentional time building deep connection and strong communication will allow you and your teen to sail through the adolescent years and have a solid relationship.
Book Resource:
Brainstorm The Power and Purpose of The Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, MD
Two words “teen years!” For some of you these words may bring up feelings of stress and anxiety because you have heard how difficult the teen years can be. Maybe you are in the thick of the “teen years” feeling disconnected as if you and your child are living on different planets. The words “teen years” may bring up sadness because you feel like you are loosing your baby. You may find yourself dreaming of the days when your child was little and looked at you with adoring eyes never wanting to leave your side. I get it!
There comes a time where when our kids become pre teens and teens who start wanting their own space and independence. All to often as parents we take that change so personal, as if it was a direct reflection of how our kids feel about us.
Here is the deal the teen years don’t have to be difficult, in fact it can be an absolutely beautiful season providing you with an opportunity to grow personally, create a deeper connection with your child and build healthy communication.
Come hang out with me and I will share with you how spending intentional time building deep connection and strong communication will allow you and your teen to sail through the adolescent years and have a solid relationship.
Book Resource:
Brainstorm The Power and Purpose of The Teenage Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, MD
Have you ever emotionally reacted to your child and afterwards thought where in the world did that come from?
As Maya Angelou would say, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better do better.”
Our mind is the most powerful tool we have and can be our best friend once we understand how it works and take action cleaning up and replacing the old programs.
Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “We cannot create a new future by holding onto the emotions of the past.”
Come hang out with me sis and I will share with you:
WHY you emotionally react without even thinking.
WHAT you can do to stop the emotional reaction.
HOW you can replace it with a healthy peaceful response.
Motherhood is like taking a road trip. However most of us have never really taken the time to sit down to put together a thought out plan backed by research, recommendations and wisdom from those that have already gone on the motherhood trip or are a few steps ahead of us.
Here's the deal, if we don’t have a clear direction as to where we were going chances are we may end up getting lost or going going down a road we never intended to go down.
Lets hang out and I'll share with you why taking the time to plan out and study your road map to mother hood will save you from visiting undesirable places and going down dangerous roads.
Resilience. We have all heard this word but do you know what the true definition of resilience is?
Resilience: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
Psychological resilience: Psychological resilience is the ability to mentally or emotionally cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly. Resilience exists when the person uses "mental processes and behaviors in promoting personal assets and protecting self from the potential negative effects of stressors".
So what does it take to be resilient? What tools do you need to have in order to build up your resiliency muscles? Why is being resilient a game changer?
What if we used hard times to launch us into a whole other dimension of resilience?
What if we:
- Didn't allow the hard times to paralyze us and keep us stuck.
- Choose to look at hard times as an opportunity for growth? An opportunity to strengthen our resiliency muscle?
- Focus on the things we can change and accept what we can’t?
- Acknowledge the negative but choose to tune into the good?
Reference Resources:
Three secrets of resilient people (Lucy Hone):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWH8N-BvhAw
Charles Hunt:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qELiw_1Ddg
The Art of Failing Forward | Sasha Shillcutt, MD, MS, FASE
November is the month we celebrate Thanksgiving. You may have a tradition where you go around the table and say what you are grateful for. Creating space throughout your day every day to express thankfulness is something you can implement all year round! I literally could not be more excited to have a very special guest on this episode to talk about all things GRATITUDE! Justine Wheeler is a walking light of gratitude, wise beyond her years and her daily gratitude practice is an inspiration! Annnnndddd I cant forget to mention that she is my sissy, I am so thrilled to share her light with all of you!
In this episode Justine and I talk about the importance of gratidtude, why it is so beneficial to your overall well being, how you can implement it into your own life and how your whole family can get into the habit of gratitude.
Connect with Justine Wheeler:
Instagram @thegoodguidehq
Link to gratitude research studies:
https://www.happierhuman.com/the-science-of-gratitude/
In this episode we talk about how we can prevent “should-ing” on our kids, ourselves and others by taking the word “should” out of our vocabulary. The word “should” is used when we have an expectation. Expectations are created because of certain stories and beliefs we have around how things or people “should” be. Placing unwanted expectations and “should-ing” on ourselves and others creates disconnection and disharmony. Come hang out as I share how you can kick “should” to the curb creating space for connection, flow, harmony and rhythm in you and your relationships.
What if I told you it’s not possible for your child to trigger you. Is there such thing as triggers? Can somebody really cause you to be triggered? In this episode we dive into triggers! Come hang out with me as we explore why you get triggered and who causes you to be triggered. When you change your mindset and perspective around the word “trigger” and who cause you to be “triggered” the relationship you have with yourself and your children will dramatically change. Where there is change there is FREEDOM! Lets do this sis!
Resources:
- The Awakened Family By Dr. Shefali Tsabary
This episode is part 2 to season 3 episode 6 titled Dyslexia Awareness. I believe we can be the best advocate and parent for our chid when we are educated, have empathy and parent consciously. There is a quote by Brené Brown that I love.
“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of, ‘you are not alone.’ ” Brené Brown
I am so excited to have Michele Barnett back with us for this episode. Michele is driven to help families and schools understand both the advantages and challenges that dyslexia creates, and to implement practical plans that empower dyslexic students to excel. Michele is a Dyslexia Screener and Consultant, a Dyslexia Advocate and a Certified Barton Reading & Spelling private tutor. She serves on the Board of Directors for the International Dyslexia Association - Oregon Branch. Michele is also a Decoding Dyslexia Ambassador and the Co-Founder of the Lake Oswego Parent Dyslexia Community. She holds an MBA from St. Mary’s College, and a BA from Cornell University with a major in Psychology. Michele and her husband, Berkeley, are the proud parents of two teenage daughters.
In this episode:
- Bring awareness to what a dyslexic child goes through emotionally.
- Shed light on how parents can consciously be in the present moment with their child being attuned to what it is they need.
- Debunk myths around dyslexia and dyslexic children.
- Reassure you that you are not alone.
Dyslexia Simulations Resources:
- Round Robin Reading Dyslexia Simulation: https://youtu.be/vNwuXbmXOtY
- Writing with Dyslexia Simulation: https://youtu.be/ZznFCz6V1cM
- Taking Notes with Dyslexia Simulation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOtCRGivvCU
- Simulation of the Overall Classroom Experience for students with learning differences: https://youtu.be/Q3UNdbxk3xs
The month of October is dyslexia awareness month. This month in particular is close to my heart because our family has been blessed with a child who is dyslexic. My intention for this episode is to:
- Bring awareness to what dyslexia is.
- Educate you as a parent on what signs to look for.
- Give you tools on how to be the best advocate for you child.
- Shed light on how to be the parent your child needs.
- Show you how to create peace within the home.
I could not think of a more perfect guest to help me spread awareness and light around dyslexia then Michele Barnett.
Michele is driven to help families and schools understand both the advantages and challenges that dyslexia creates, and to implement practical plans that empower dyslexic students to excel. Michele is a Dyslexia Screener and Consultant, a Dyslexia Advocate and a Certified Barton Reading & Spelling private tutor. She serves on the Board of Directors for the International Dyslexia Association - Oregon Branch. Michele is also a Decoding Dyslexia Ambassador and the Co-Founder of the Lake Oswego Parent Dyslexia Community. Prior to her focus on dyslexia, Michele’s background includes over 20 years in consultative sales and client management in the healthcare industry with Blue Shield, Kaiser Permanente, and Cigna. She was an award-winning account executive, and led national product development initiatives. She holds an MBA from St. Mary’s College, and a BA from Cornell University with a major in Psychology. Michele and her husband, Berkeley, are the proud parents of two teenage daughters, and reside in Lake Oswego, Oregon.
Lets dive in!
Recommended Dyslexia Book Resource:
- Dyslexia Empowerment Plan by Ben Foss
Recommended Dyslexia Website Resources:
- https://www.dys-add.com
- http://www.decodingdyslexiaor.org
- http://headstrongnation.org
- https://dyslexiaida.org
- https://or.dyslexiaida.org
- https://dyslexiaida.org/in-your-area-with-global-partners/
- https://www.ncld.org
- https://www.wrightslaw.com
The year 2020 has been full of surprises and plot twists. We have all had to adjust and re-adjust as things change daily, sometimes moment by moment. I was doing a study on grief when it hit me, in this season there isn’t a single person on the planet who hasn’t dealt with some type of grief or loss. In the world of parenthood, both parent and child are experiencing grief/loss. Grieving what used to be, grieving the way things used to be done, grieving the lack of team sports, grieving the amount of time spent with friends, a loss of the idea of how things should be, the loss of what "normal" is. We have all gone from the known to unknown and are being stretched far beyond our comfort zones.
Grief is often expressed differently by each individual and can be shown through many different behaviors. In this episode I share six things you can do as a parent to help your child not only through this season but through the season of life.
Resources: www.upworthy.com/
I am so excited to have Meg O’Keefe back with us for this episode. Meg is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is a Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™.
In this episode we talk about how our need to “fix” our children comes from some type of fear we have. In the Awakened Family Dr. Shefali Tsabary says this about fear:
“In fact, anytime we are critical of our ourselves or others, we are operating out of fear.”
“Whenever fear hides behind our various masks, it causes us to displace onto others what we are feeling, perhaps through blame, anger, jealousy or control.”
Come hang out with Meg and I as we talk about how you can become aware of your fears and how you can deconstruct them allowing you to begin the healing process. By doing this you will set yourself and your child free!
In this episode I have the honor of sharing Meg O’Keefe with you all. Meg is the founder of Heart Centered Parenting, founder of BeLoved Montessori School, a Montessori trainer and teacher with 30 years of teaching experience and is a Certified Coach Practitioner through Dr. Shefali Tsabary's Conscious Coaching Institute™. Come hang out with us as we talk about how you can take advantage of this time we have with our kids at home! By bringing conscious living and the Montessori approach into your home you can create an environment where learning, growth, freedom, creativity, independence, confidence & connection can thrive!
Utensils for kids made by For Small Hands was referenced in this episode and can be found here:
https://www.forsmallhands.com/vegetable-chopper-with-wooden-handle?q=chopper&nsearch=prm_link
This episode sheds light on how we have the power to change the temperature and energy within our homes. When we are courageous and dare to look inward we are presented with the opportunity to reset our internal thermostat. When our internal thermostat changes, the temperature and energy in our external environments and relationships also change!
References used in this episode:
- Thermostat analogy as noted in the book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T. Harv Eker.
In this episode we talk about how our need to control often comes from a deep rooted fear that we have not yet processed or healed. As parents our fears and need to control our kids can quickly take over creating resistance and disconnection within the parent child relationship. Come hang out with me as we dive into what it looks like to loosen the reins and enjoy the ride rather than hanging on for dear life overwhelmed by fear.
This new school year looks very different than years past! In this episode, my girl Kristen Maple is on talking about all things homeschool. Kristen is a homeschool mama, an Aroma Freedom Practitioner and a Medical Freedom Advocate on a mission to help you clear out your mental clutter so you can achieve your goals with grace and thrive in your mind, body and soul. I am so excited for her to share her knowledge with you all. I also just want to say before we get into the episode, that both Kristen and I are very sensitive to the fact that homeschool is not a realistic option for everyone nor is it a requirement for a great education. Whether you choose to homeschool, do school virtually, take part in a hybrid model or in person there is no right or wrong approach. At the end of the day everybody’s situation, circumstances, family dynamics and kids are all different and children can thrive in both the traditional learning method and homeschool method. We acknowledge, fully support and honor your decisions with no judgement. The purpose of this episode is to shed light on the ins and outs of homeschool from Kristen’s experience with the hopes that you walk away with tools you can use feeling empowered and confident in this next season of life.
Life is forever changing and the opinions of others are endless. As parents we are constantly faced with decisions that directly impact our children. When faced with decisions or entering uncharted waters, be still, do your research and let your heart lead! When you are grounded in your heart space you can never go wrong! Sis, know yourself, your children and your family better than anyone else you have everything within your to make the best decision. My hope is that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered, confident and fearless!
Life is forever changing and the opinions of others are endless. As parents we are constantly faced with decisions that directly impact our children. When faced with decisions or entering uncharted waters, be still, do your research and let your heart lead! When you are grounded in your heart space you can never go wrong! Sis, know yourself, your children and your family better than anyone else you have everything within your to make the best decision. My hope is that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered, confident and fearless!
In this episode, Ashley and special guest Debbie Wheeler a certified counselor for those in recovery and a mentor for mothers share all the valuable lessons learned on their most recent road trip from Southern California to Northern Oregon. One car, two adults, four kids, twenty five plus hours of driving and an unlimited amount of lessons in parenting! This episode will leave you feeling empowered and ready to take on motherhood.
Who are you? What sets your soul on fire? What are you passionate about? After becoming a parent have you ever stopped to ask yourself if your identity is now found in your role as a parent? In todays episode we talk about how all to often when we become parents our identity gets lost in our role as parent. In this episode Ashley sheds light on what you can do to get back to looking internally for validation and worth instead of our role.
In this episode we talk about creating the ultimate environment for the flowers in your garden to thrive. Each flower you have been given is unique and requires different things in different seasons. Being a tuned to each flowers needs and not trying to change the flower you have been given will allow for growth and beauty to blossom.
In this episode Ashley shares how you can use the pressures of life to transform you from the inside out!
This episode was inspired by a quote from Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth, "When you're in mind you're lost in thoughts and when you're lost in thoughts you are disconnected from heart space."
Come hang out with us as we talk about how to recognize, process and detach from your thoughts in order to connect to your heart space. It is when we are connected to our heart space that we find true peace.
If you missed Episode 12 The Ego & Inner Child, make sure you go back and give it a listen. This episode is part 2 and as promised I (Ashley) share how my ego and inner child have been showing up. My hope is that through my story you will be able to recognize when your ego and inner child shows up. By becoming aware of your ego and inner child, it allows you to show up for yourself as the adult in the room. This sets your children free and creates space for you to heal and reparent yourself.
In this episode we talk about the ego and inner child! Recognizing the difference between the two and how they show up not only in your daily life but also in the parent child dynamic will be a crucial part of your transformation process. Shedding the layers of the ego and learning to reparent ourselves prevents the inner child and ego from being in control. The next time your kids actions, words or behavior stir up a lot of feelings within you, you can be sure it's your ego that reacts in order to protect your inner child and your inner child that is at the root of your feelings! This is a powerful episode you won't want to miss!
In this episode we talk about our personal relationship with boundaries and how sometimes we need to let go!
Belief systems are often created by family, culture, religion and personal experiences. Our belief systems cause us to see life through the lenses of our beliefs. Some belief systems you inherit, others you choose and some you may not even be aware that you have. When was the last time you took inventory of your belief systems? Taking frequent inventory of our belief systems allows us to continue evolving and becoming our true authentic selves!
Some people have the type of light that is so bright it touches every soul they come in contact with. Carrie is one of those amazing souls who’s light is so bright it cannot be dimmed! Carrie is a certified Hypno-doula, a Hypnobabies Childbirth Hypnosis® Instructor and a certified Hypnotherapist. She has a passion for women’s wellness and transformational healing for the mind/body/soul and a mission to usher in a more peaceful world. Come hang out with us as we sit down with Carrie and talk about the power of the woman's mind and body! This episode will leave you feeling empowered, liberated and free.
You can find out more about Carrie by visiting:
Website: www.bluelotushypno.com
Social media @Blue.Lotus.Hypno
In this episode we are checking in and talking all things COVID. From giving ourselves and others grace to not judging others. This episode with leave you with more insight, hope, perspective and love for yourself and others.
The journey to evolve into your true authentic self is a journey not a destination. The one thing that has been the most crucial on my journey of liberation and freedom for myself and as a parent is the ability to as Dr. Shefali says, "mind the mind." Come hang out and see why learning to "mind your mind" and recognize the thoughts behind your feelings will change your life and your relationships.
"It takes a village to raise a child but it also takes one to raise a mom." Unkown
The above quote is everything! We have all heard the very famous African proverb "It takes a village to raise a child." Do you know why it's so important to create a village and community around you? This parenting thing isn't easy and you are not alone sister! Come hang out and lets talk about all the things.
In this episode we talk about attachment styles with Brooke Bergman Parr a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Come sit and hang with us girls as we look at the different types of attachment styles, how healthy attachments promote emotional regulation, is essential for optimal brain development and how they effect all of our relationships!
- There is a foundation of trust and connection that is built over time that leads to feelings of secure attachment.
- Attachments are formed within the first few years of life.
- Repeated events and environment create attachments.
- The numbers show that to accurately assess what our child is needing and wanting 33% of the time creates secure attachment.
No matter how much your family “loves” each other, sibling rivalry happens to even the best of families. Come hang out with us while we deconstruct why rivalry happens and how us moms can take the reigns while navigating sibling rivalry.
[ 4:15 ] Two reasons dealing with sibling rivalry is hard.
[ 7:11 ] Teach our children that their actions affect other people.
[ 9:53 ] It all goes back to respect for the other and communication.
[ 11:07 ] Create an environment where your children learn good communication and skills for any healthy relationships.
[ 11:39 ] As a mom, remain neutral and don't take sides. Be curious ask questions about what happened and help your kids navigate through the rivalry.
[ 19:45 ] Behind every behavior is a need. What is the need of each child when they are having a sibling conflict?
[ 20:00 ] Teach your children how to communicate with their sibling. Teach your child how to share with their sibling why they are upset, how they are feeling and how to intentionally listen to the other person and vise versa.
[ 32:25 ] Teach our children to see, hear and validate each other when they are having a conflict.
It’s no secret that life and people are unpredictable! Throughout your life there will be many times where you find yourself in seasons and situations that cause anxiety. Come hang out with us a we navigate anxiety for moms and their children.
[ 5:51 ] All surpassed emotions are anxiety and depression and they manifest in a lot of different ways.
[ 8:01 ] Part of the anxiety that moms feel is really brought on by culture and all of the ways it tells us things should be.
[ 10:28 ] We forget that our kids are also going through a lot and adjusting.
[ 12:28 ] It’s so important that we as moms take care of ourselves so that are able to help our kids manage their emotions.
[ 13:29 ] Signs of anxiety.
[ 24:41 ] How to help your anxious child.
[ 25:55 ] Things to say to your anxious child. All phrases mentioned and more can be found at www.gozen.com.
Ok girl, warning this episode is for mama ears only! Earmuffs are required for littles, just sayin! Come hang out with us as we talk all things around having healthy relationships during quarantine. Whether your a single mama trying to figure out how to stay connected in the dating scene or a married mama trying to stay connected to your husband we got you!
[ 12:46 ] When dating, always trust your gut. If your gut says no, run for the hills.
[ 15:27 ] Your vibe attracts your tribe. Whatever you project is what you are going to get.
[ 18:16 ] When quarantine forces you to see all your stuff and you cant run from it.
[ 19:40 } This forced time to slow down is like looking through a magnifying glass where everything is magnified.
[ 25:51 ] The goal is to get to a point where you don't automatically react to your feelings but instead sit with the feeling and then release it.
[ 28:26 } When dating you have to have the confidence that you are not broken, that you are an amazing beautiful soul that somebody will cherish.
[ 29:05 ] Red flags to look for when dating.
[ 30:55 ] For the mamas who are married, still date your husband. Even while we are in quarantine.
Xoxo
Kimiko & Ashley
The title of this episode is “New Season New Beginnings” and it’s no coincidence! Alright ladies some super exciting news for you! Free As A Bird Podcast just got kicked up a notch as my girl Kimiko Miller a licensed marriage family therapist will now be apart of our tribe as co host! If you missed Season 1 Episode 28 do yourself a favor, go back and listen! In that episode Kimiko shares her heart and wisdom dropping massive amounts of value! Come hang out and connect with us as Kimiko shares her story! This is literally just the beginning of unlimited wisdom and value for your girls and we could not be more excited!
In this episode I get to share my soul sister Kimiko Miller with you all! Kimiko is such a bright light to all those around her! She is a mama to three girls, a therapist to those in recovery and jewelry designer of her line Kimiko Kollections. There is literally nothing in this world this girl cant do! Come hang out with us as Kimiko shares her heart and wisdom!
[ 6:14 ] If you have been raised by a certain type of person and you share similar traits, those patterns will show up in your kids.
[ 6:50 ] Apologize quickly. Apologies make kids see that your human and that we acknowledge our humanness. There are no perfect parents. Own what you have done and apologize.
[ 7:44 ] The more conscious and aware you are, it will help you recognize what you are doing in the moment which will allow you to apologize or own what you did. Being conscious and aware will allow you to better meet your kids where they’re at.
[ 11:04 ] Our society puts a ton of pressure on kids, way more than we had.
[ 11:23 ] I have seen a ton of parents impress their desires for their kids, and I have tried really hard not to do that. It’s funny because I am so not like that around the studies and their schooling yet they are still very hyper conscious about getting a good grade, going to a good college or comparing themselves to other people going to a good college. It’s so interesting because you can clearly see it’s not me putting that on them but society.
[ 13:19 ] I have taught them how to express their feelings. Express them, feel them, allow them to come, figure out where the feelings are coming from and move through it.
[ 14:46 ] There are a lot of parents who feel validated and worthy based on what their kids are doing. That’s why parents needs to do work on themselves so they feel whole for who they are and not put that on their kids.
[ 15:50 ] Dr. Shefali talks about feelings being like a train. You watch the feelings come and when the feelings get to you, feel it, sit with the feeling and then watch it go.
[ 19:52 ] I think hindsight I look back and I wish I didn't put that pressure on myself, to have everything perfect and just take that time to be with the kids and engage.
[ 22:23 ] Whatever we can do to build that safe attachment and safety within the home, our kids will flourish. That is number one!
Two of my fave people in the whole world agreed to record an episode with me! When we sat down for this interview, I literally had no idea where it was going to go! I had no plan! I really wanted to just go with the rhythm knowing that whatever was going to be was what needed to be heard! I was blown away by this convo! It could not have come at a more perfect time! Come hang out with us and see what my faves had to say about what parents can do to help their kids deal with change. You don’t want to miss this one!
When your kids say or do things do you often find yourself thinking, “that is so from me!” Oh sis you don’t even know how many times I have done this! In todays episode I share how our kids can pick up on our words/actions and unconsciously repeat them. Come hang and see what happened the other day that had me saying, “oops did I just say that?”
[ 3:09 ] This whole parenting thing is not a destination, we all know it is a journey!
[ 5:05 ] The more conscious and aware you are, the better equipped you are to handle whatever comes at you in a conscious and awakened state.
[ 5:17 ] Accept the as is and go with the flow.
[ 8:19 ] Conscious parenting is all about raising your adult self and recognizing where we as a parent need to change.
[ 12:30 ] The fact that he said the words that I typically say mirrored to me that it’s a pattern and a habit that I need to break.
Before my kids were even born I had big dreams for them! I would sit around and day dream about what their lives would be like. These dreams I had created in my mind were all formed around attachments and judgements I had made. When my sweet kiddos came into this world I quickly realized God created them for his purpose with their own dreams! Lets hang sis and talk about what it means to love your child as is.
[ 8:10 ] You quickly realize that all of your dreams and all of your expectations that you have planned out for you child in the womb are going to be very different in reality. Because this child that has come into the world is such a blessing and they are their own unique human being. They have their own soul, their own mind, their own wants, needs, desires and they are separate and different then what yours are.
[ 9:57 ] Your child quickly learns at a very young age if I do this then mom is happy, if I do this then mom gets mad. If I do this then dad thinks I am amazing, if I do this then dad may get upset. If I do this then our home life I peaceful, if I express maybe how I really feel then it creates tension. So kids very quickly learn how to navigate their way through the web of enmeshment that we unconsciously create.
[ 14:16 ] “Love the child in front of you, not the child you want them to be.” Dr. Shefali
[ 14:53 ] They are their own unique soul with this fire inside them. Don't be the one to dim their light.
[ 15:35 ] Be your child guide and biggest supporter.
[ 15:46 ] It’s when parents get so enmeshed with the idea of their expectations and judgements of what they want their kids to be that the light within the child dims and eventually goes out.
Ok girl we are just going to do this, like really do this! Authenticity coming in real hot in this episode! Grab your cup of coffee, tea or whatever is your jam and lets hang!
[ 5:22 ] Learn to say no when your soul is not aligned. If there is something that you are approached with and in your gut and soul you don’t feel aligned to do it, learn to be ok with saying no. Learn to be ok with the push back you receive from others when you say no.
[ 6:54 ] It all builds up each time you are not true to your boundary, your soul and what your heart is aligned with. You eventually get to a point where you feel like nobody listens to you, the kids don't take you seriously ect and it’s all because the boundaries we didn't stick to don't have weight if we aren’t holding them.
[ 7:30 ] It’s a beautiful thing to give and serve others but not at the sacrifice of your own soul.
[ 14:16 ] Let the kids do for themselves what they are capable of doing for themselves.
[ 16:59 ] In doing everything for everybody when they can do it for themselves, you’re really creating a codependent relationship.
Sometimes different seasons in our lives require us to look at things through a different lens! The way you have always done things just may not work anymore! In this episode we capture how taking a different angle and changing our perspective can bring beauty and life into all the different seasons we go through.
[ 3:36 ] If we can learn to not go into seasons thinking that things should be a certain way or do things the way we have always done but instead take a step a back, realize something isn’t working and get comfortable with taking action to make changes.
[ 5:06 ] Take a step back and really evaluate the situation, look at the whole picture. Ask yourself if what I have been doing isn’t working, what is it going to take to get a different outcome?
[ 5:32 ] Is it going to take a new perspective? Do I need to shed some judgements and expectations that I have had? Do I need to put on a different lens?
Sometime all we need is a new perspective!
In todays episode we dive into why holding the boundary is beneficial for YOU and your KIDDO! Grab your cup off coffee, tea whatever and lets hang mama!
[ 1:17 ] When we keep our boundaries and we don't violate our boundaries, we come from a place of love, empathy, grace and happiness.
[ 5:22 ] It’s all because we don’t honor and hold our boundary that all of these negative feelings start to arise in a situation that should be calm, peaceful and loving.
[ 5:42 ] We don’t stick to our boundary more often than not out of fear.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Brene Brown
Learning to be happy in the unhappy just may be one of the most powerful things you can learn to master! Come hang with me as we dive in to see just how you can be happy in the unhappy.
[ 2:20 ] It’s in the moments that your unhappy, in the moments that things don't go your way, in the moments that you are not in a comfortable situation that you are pushed outside of your comfort zone. In those moments it exposes what it is you need to re-evaluate, look at it, areas you need to grow in, different areas you need to change your mindset.
[ 3:34 ] There is hope in the unhappiness. Things are going to change, things will be different, there will be growth.
[ 7:16 ] You can stop an unhappy situation from turning into a disaster by stopping, reflecting, breathing, and seeing what it is you the parent can do to help the situation.
[ 9:12 ] I’m not going to let this circumstance affect how I talk to my kids, how I treat to my kids or how I respond to my kids.
[ 13:05 ] Life is going to throw things at you that you are not going to expect and that’s ok! Learn to pause in those moments of unhappiness and look inward asking yourself what part do I have, how can I grow, how can I move forward, how can I be resilient and how can I cope.
[ 15:08 ] Learn to focus on the positive and be happy where you are at.
[ 17:12 ] If you allow circumstances, locations and external things to have a direct affect on whether or not you’re happy, you are probably going to be miserable 90 times out of 100. We have no control what happens on the outside but we do have control of what happens on the inside.
[ 18:35 ] “When we resist experiences that cause us to feel unhappy we teach our children to be afraid of not only their natural human feeling but also of the natural ebb and flow of human existence. Our children then grow up believing that unhappy feelings must be avoided at all costs. So the minute they feel uncomfortable they cant tolerate it.” Dr. Shefali
Reflecting on the holiday break had me saying a whole bunch of hallelujahs! I am currently sitting in so much gratitude for my every day evolving into becoming more and more conscious. Can’t wait to share with you some of our stories over this past holiday break!
[ 1:38 ] Becoming conscious is such a gift and it’s available to anybody. You just have to be willing to go inward instead of looking outward accepting what needs to change and be willing to put in the work to really heal and grow.
[ 2:45 ] When we are mindful and fully present in the moment with our children, it allows us to open our eyes to consciousness. To truly see the moment we are in for what it is. To really look at our child and if they are having hard time to be able to deconstruct what they are going through.
[ 4:00 ] When you are conscious you become awakened to what is going on and what needs to be worked on.
[ 7:26 ] When you are conscious you know that your kids reactions is a reaction to something far deep inside their soul, something they are going through.
[ 7:50 ] A lot of the times you are triggered it all comes from a place of fear.
[ 9:18 ] Being conscious allows you to be present in the moment with your child and deconstruct their feelings.
[ 16:26 ] “The reason it is so important for us to change, ground become conscious is so that our eyes can be opened and we become aware of what our kids actions mean. Exposing what they need and are calling out for help to heal.” Dr. Shefali
[ 17:10 ] “Whatever you are not changing you are choosing.” Unkown
Hey sis, I got to tell ya! I love ya, but it's time to make changes! In this episode we talk about how to recognize where change needs to take place, the actions steps to take and why it is so crucial! Lets get to it!
[ 4:13 ] God entrusted us and gave these kids to us so that we could come along side them and we could help guide them and be a teacher for them. But not drive them to what it is our wants and desires are for them. They are going to develop their own wants and desires and its our job as their parent to come along side them.
[ 4:50 ] Create an environment where your kids want to come to you and talk to you about things. Where there is a mutual respect where you love and adore and value who they are exactly as they are and you don't wish that they would change into your ideas and visions for what their life looks like.
[ 8:18 ] “When you parent, it is crucial you realize you are not raising a mini me, but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it is important to separate who you are from who each of your children is. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.” The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali
[ 9:49 ] The danger of not being aware of the stories we tell ourselves is that the stories become projections and those projections become judgements onto the other person.
[ 10:42 ] “The ability to see really see our children separate from who we are is our greatest gift to them. Conversely, our greatest weakness as parents is our inability to honor a child's path as it emerges.” The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali
[ 12:27 ] “Whether you have an infant or a teen, your children need to feel that just because they exist, they delight you. They need to know that they don’t have to do anything to earn your undivided attention. They deserve to feel as if just by being born, they have earned the right to be adored.” The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali
I am guilty of getting entangled on this path of living out of fear and what will happen in the future especially when it comes to my kids. Come hang out and see how you can recognize this fear, quiet it and come more from your heart space and wisdom mind creating an environment that both parent and child can live more consciously connected to their soul.
[1:41] We always hold our child unconsciously to these standards that we have set in our mind that we want them to become.
[7:03] Don't make decisions based on some imaginary scenarios that you have created in your mind in the future. Don't project on the current situation the present situation with deep fear of the future. You don't know what the future is going to hold.
[7:46] Life happens for you not to you.
[10:38] Don't let your fear get in the way of your child experiencing life experiences and seeing what it is they love not what you love.
As we go through a tough season in the Kahn household with lots of growing pains the one thing that has made all of the difference is the connection we have as a family. In this episode I’m sharing why connection is so important and the power behind it.
[1:21] Life happens for you not to you.
[1:26] You can look at seasons in two ways failing or learning and growing.
[2:10] Don’t get in the way of your Childs life experiences. Dr. Shefali
[4:18] It’s the connection that we have carries us through hard things.
[9:00] Connection is why we are here. We are hardwired to connect with others. It’s what gives us purpose and meaning to our lives and without it there is suffering. Brene Brown
In this episode we talk with special guest Angela Albregts about what her journey to become a conscious parent looked like. She drops so many pearls of wisdom this episode is a must listen for all you mamas who are wanting to become a conscious parent!
Special guest Char Stammer is back and we are talking all things patience. Listen in and find out what 8 things you can do to help you have more patience!
In this episode we talk about how listening is powered by love. Listen now to hear what three things you can do now to become the best listener!
They say you are the average of the five people you hang around. So let me ask you, who are your mom friends? In this episode we talk about why it's important to choose your mom friends wisely.
In this episode we dive into the book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" and uncover the 10 methods adults use to try and get their kids to cooperate. We go deep and reveal why these methods do not serve us or our kids and the negative effects they can have on our children. By using the 5 skills "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" gives us we can quickly and effectively change the way we communicate with our children and create an environment that encourages cooperation!
In this episode we talk all things autonomy! We'll dig deep on the importance of autonomy, how to create an environment that encourages autonomy and why we as parents struggle to give autonomy! This episode is a game changer!
In this episode we talk with special guest Kelly Hutchenson about how the fear of messing this parenting gig up is hindering our relationship with our kids! Come hang out with us as we dig deep and show you how to kick fear out the door!
In this episode we talk with special guest Debbie Wheeler why having fun is crucial for the development of your child and necessary for family connection!
In this episode we talk about why affirming our kids and teaching them the daily practice of affirmations is so powerful!
In this episode we talk about what true connection and conscious living looks like with special guest Char Stammer a psychology major and certified parent coach through the Jai Institute! We were all born with the desire to connect, are you creating space for connection and consciously living in your home?
In this episode special guest Debbie Wheeler a recovery counselor and mentor for mothers talks about how to build a strong foundation so that you are prepared for the big one!
So much time and effort are spent before kids go back to school gathering all of the physical supplies for the new school year, but have you gone through the emotional back to school supply list? In this episode we'll talk about how to make sure your kids are well prepared emotionally when they head back to school!
Are you going to sign-up backing out the second things get hard? Or are you going to make the decision taking responsibility showing up no matter what making sure the work gets done? No backing out!
Change brings new beginnings and new ways of doing things that are better than your old habits! Nothing changes if nothing changes!
In this episode I am sharing my story, who I am, why Im where I am at and why I have a passion to speak to mamas! I will be bringing light and encouragement to you to recognize your struggles in parenthood so that you can learn from it, grow from it and move past it allowing you to become the best mama and best version of you!