Not The Way I Planned: Recent Episodes
Carly Cash
Not The Way I Planned is a podcast for anyone whose life has not ended up the way they thought it would. You'll find inspiring interviews, plus tips and tricks to living your best life, even if it's not the life you planned.
I remember my ex-husband telling me one day about 4 years ago that Cody was gay. I couldn’t believe it! To the outside world, this man had the perfect Mormon family. He had a successful career, four darling kids, a beautiful wife, and a nice home. But Cody had a secret.
Sydney Mortensen is part of the LGTBQ community and her family has chosen love every step of the way. Her mother, Jill, spoke with me about how we can embrace each other's differences and create more inclusion instead of judgement.
Here are some great resources:
LGBTQ/ALLY RESOURCES
NONFICTION: basic introductions to the LGBTQ community & experience…
The Book of Pride: LGBTQ Heroes Who Changed the World https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062571702/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_54J0FQXP2SNQSRH530JM
The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate https://www.amazon.com/dp/1538136775/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VKB1Z7MRT2GGHQD7FCH3
The Gay Agenda: A Modern Queer History & Handbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/006294455X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_Q7A7JNWA799MX1Y4CXTA?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
NOVEL:
This Is How It Always Is: A Novel https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250088569/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_DQVFB89S3V69ABQ8VERR
(loosely based on the author’s life. I loved this - really opened my eyes to the experience of a parent of a transgender child)
MEMOIR:
Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family https://www.amazon.com/dp/0735213461/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3JMMNWGCVVF2BAJVEK9F?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
FOR CHILDREN:
The Red Crayon
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1338106511/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_AZV255M4DQ2AVM4QG3W7_nodl?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
FOR THE RELIGIOUS:
Torn by Justin Lee (also good for teens)
Unclobber by Christian pastor Colby Martin (breaks down the Bible’s “clobber verses” against LGBTQ)
Gay Rights and the Mormon Church by Gregory Prince (not for the faint of LDS, but well researched)
PODCASTS:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lgbtq-a/id1151561226
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-gay-history-lgbtq-oral-histories-from-the-archive/id1162447122
GREAT RESOURCE CENTER & SUICIDE-PREVENTION 501c3: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/
NATIONWIDE SUPPORT GROUP/RESOURCES FOR LGBTQ & ALLIES: PFLAG https://pflag.org/about
GREAT ARTICLES:
https://davidmyers.org/articles/accepting-what-cannot-be-changed?pageID=90
https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2011/10-anti-gay-myths-debunked
DEFINITELY WORTH THE WATCH:
Hannah Gadsby (comedy special): Nanette https://g.co/kgs/Doxicw
“The Gay Agenda” Ted Talk
https://youtu.be/iOByGJskqks
Beckham was only 9-years-old when he passed away from DIPG. Today he would have turned 11. Beckham left a hole in the hearts of all who loved him. This is his story.
Father and Son Duo Thor and Luc Swennson help kids battling depression and bullying to learn to love life again.
4-year-old Kyanne went to the store with her two older sisters and what happened when they crossed the street would change their lives forever.
Pornography. It’s a topic we don’t want to talk about. Something we think will never happen to our children or in our relationships. So how can we stop pornography addiction before it starts?
Dr. Tim Hollingshead has created a program called “Free in 13” that has proven results in pulling people out of the trap of pornography.
We can’t be naive to the fact that this destructive content is more easily accessible than it has ever been before and it’s time to have a conversation about it.
Spend one minute with this young woman and she is sure to brighten your day. I first met Sarah Patterson through an incredible program called “Miss Amazing” which gives women and girls with disabilities the opportunity to compete in a pageant. I was a judge that year and I’m proud to say I voted for her and she went on to win a National title.
Sarah radiates joy. She encourages people around her to view the world in a more positive way and she has been a good reminder to me that “disabilities” or a “diagnosis” is just a label. You can do anything you set your mind to and Sarah is living proof of that. This is her story.
Becky and her husband Joe had just built their dream home when the unthinkable happened. No one ever expects they’ll hear the word cancer, but life can turn on a dime and it has left this beautiful couple fighting for Joe’s life. I hope this episode of “Not The Way I Planned” leaves you with a newfound gratitude for the little things and makes you hold your loved ones a little closer.
I told myself with this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast that if my story helps one person it is worth sharing. My journey with body image and self-esteem has been a rough one. I’ve battled anorexia, bulimia, and scoliosis. It’s taken a very long time to learn to love who I am, but I’m proof that it’s possible.
This is by far the most vulnerable interview I have ever conducted. I tried to bury my childhood for many years. Just so you know, that doesn’t work. It played a big role in me not having a successful marriage down the road and bled into every other aspect of my life. I was running away from everything I was and everything I didn’t want to be. I had to confront all of those demons before I could get to a good place within myself.
I first met Jennifer Claassen through an incredible program called “Miss Amazing.” The program gives women with special needs the opportunity to experience pageantry. Jennifer was the director and we connected over having sons on the Autism Spectrum.
Shortly after our first conversation, I learned that Jennifer had suffered a brain aneurysm and was lucky to be alive.
She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She’s an advocate, a hero to many, and living proof that with a little love, hope, and faith you can get through anything. This is her story.
Crystal Lowther is one of the most dedicated Mothers I have ever met. She hasn’t had it easy, putting her dreams on hold while raising her two boys as a single Mom.
Her children are incredible. Infectious smiles and personality for days, but her son Brandon has come with some significant challenges and a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
Please share Crystal’s story with anyone who has battled, raising a “difficult child” or has gone through a divorce.
I was supposed to be a married woman today. That’s not happening.
Seven months ago I was dumped. It came out of left-field and I was devastated. We were high school sweethearts and had our life planned out. To me, our life was perfect. I found out, it wasn’t.
Hello! I’m Carly and my life has gone anything but the way I thought it would. Can you relate? Join me each week for inspiring interviews, plus tips and tricks to living your best life, even if it’s not the life you planned.
The thought of losing your 7-year-old is unfathomable. Losing a child should simply never happen, but for reasons we don’t know now, it does. Nixon Whatcott bravely battled osteosarcoma for nearly a year and a half. A once very active little boy, he faced losing […]
Being a single parent is undoubtedly challenging. One of the most humbling aspects is getting by financially on one income. We live in a two-income household world and it’s increasingly difficult to make one income work. This is where “The Single Parent Project” comes to […]
I have always held my self worth in the same space as my riches. I thought my parents would love me more and I would love myself more if I was successful with money and in my career. I still struggle with these thoughts as […]
I’ll never forget the day that I met Carmen Parker. Our sons were in the same kindergarten class and we met up at a park to let the boys play. As a few years past by we both faced divorce. She was a bright light […]
Molly Bice Jackson has faced the unthinkable. She’s lost one of the most precious people in her life, her beautiful daughter Lucy. Molly’s tragic story has stuck with me for over a decade. I’ve found my heart aching for someone I’ve never met. I’ve found […]
I don’t think I’ve even met anyone who has more valiantly fought obsessive compulsive disorder, or “OCD” like 19-year-old, Luke Davenport. We’re not talking about you like things a little nice and tidy “OCD.” Obsessive Compulsive Disorder made it very difficult for Luke to finish […]
I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone that has faced more trials, miracles, love, or loss quite like Laura Dibble Watts. She’s had so many “Not the Way I Planned” moments that I feel like she could write multiple award-winning books, so I was […]
John Moug has faced some very unexpected moments in his life. Most recently he found himself suddenly out of work and uprooting his life to a new state. I didn’t know a lot about John’s past when I sat down with him. I was intrigued […]
Nancy Gifford has a story you won’t soon forget. After years of struggling as a single Mom, she lost the love of her life while battling stage 4 cancer. Since her tragic loss and heroic battle, Nancy has gone on to run marathons and inspire […]
I can’t even begin to adequately express how much I appreciate your bravery and vulnerability over the past year. My gratitude for every one of you that has shared your story of life not going the way you planned has changed my life for the […]
How precious are these two?! Simon and Louie were born in Hong Kong and mainland China respectively. The orphanage was their home until Katie and Taylor Davis came into their lives. Katie and Taylor always wanted a big family, but adopting two little boys from […]
I’ve had to embrace change a lot lately. From job loss to moving and divorce, change is tough! I even struggle with minor changes and setbacks, like burning dinner or in today’s instance, equipment not working and not being able to bring you the story […]
Sarah’s family life was altered forever when she lost her Dad to a terrible car accident when she was just 4-years-old. Since that tragic day, her family chooses to thrive in the midst of their loss. As naive teenagers, Sarah and I loved planning out […]
I’ve been divorced for 2 1/2 years. We don’t talk about divorce often around the house. It’s uncomfortable to conjure up those painful memories and the issues that are still difficult to navigate. After bribing my kids with $10 each (yes, I am that parent) […]
Val Cameron is one of the bravest people I have ever met. She is never afraid to be herself or stand up for herself. On second thought, maybe she is, but she pushes past the fear and does it anyway! At 40, Val has found […]
Alcohol addiction is something we always think will happen to someone else. We often picture alcoholics as disheveled members of our society drinking out of a bag. Functional alcoholism walks among us more often than we would ever suspect. Kate found herself drinking at home […]
Surviving the holiday season can be tough. Holidays aren’t magical for everyone. Through the years I’ve recognized how stressful and lonely holidays can be for many people. I’ve also learned huge lessons in learning what’s important when it comes to the holiday season.
Divorce can feel very much like diving off a cliff. It’s really scary, part of it is liberating, you lose your footing, you have to navigate new waters, and you always walk away a different person than you were before. This is my divorce story. […]
Batten Disease shows no mercy. It is one of the cruelest, gut-wrenching diseases I have ever seen. The fact that it happens to children makes Batten Disease one of the most bitter cups one can be handed in life. This is the story of the […]
Melinda Nelson has survived a 5 organ transplant. She was born with a condition called pseudo-obstruction syndrome that makes it nearly impossible for her body to digest food. This is Melinda’s journey. In 2015 she left her young children behind to go to Indiana to […]
I discovered Karla Cadeau 14 years ago through a YouTube video. I have no idea how I stumbled across it, but it impacted me deeply. My heart just broke for this beautiful couple that had so suddenly lost their full-term, beautiful baby girl. Karla had […]
Ashton and B.J. Hobbs made everyone feel loved and special. They were always together and lived life to the fullest. 16-years-ago the brothers went scuba diving and never came back home. This is their story as told by their sister Shannon. It’s a story of […]
I remember my ex-husband telling me one day about 4 years ago that Cody was gay. I couldn’t believe it! To the outside world, this man had the perfect Mormon family. He had a successful career, four darling kids, a beautiful wife, and a nice […]
I’m in the radio biz. It sounds like a glamorous job and truthfully it can be very fun. Unfortunately, the business often means a very difficult balance between work and home life. Radio can mean sudden moves, pay cuts, and often times professional gains come […]
The first thing I ever heard about Jen is that she has seizures. Jen was my neighbor over a decade ago and I instantly thought she was the sweetest thing ever. Her seizures were scary though. I watched her have seizures in church a couple […]
This beautiful young woman, Madeline Duskey, was just 24-years-old when she was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Her Mother, Crystal Markum-Brown sat down with me to share her incredibly tragic story. After we talked she wrote me this message. “Maddie has always been […]
Pornography. It’s a topic we don’t want to talk about. Something we think will never happen to our children or in our relationships. So how can we stop pornography addiction before it starts? Dr. Tim Hollingshead has created a program called “Free in 13” that […]
No one ever plans to get pregnant as a teenager, but it happened to my cousin Meghann Brimhall. A mom at 17, divorced by 25, with two kids to raise. Meghann finally found true love after finding herself. Meghann says she never expected to have […]
This episode of “Not The Way I Planned,” is a story of finding happiness after infertility and betrayal. Boise mother, Theresa Mills shares her journey of trying to have a baby for 8 years. She opens up about her struggles along the often difficult path […]
Nathan Ogden has been paralyzed twice! Today he lives as a quadriplegic, but he hasn’t let his inability to move his body stop him from driving his truck, skydiving, or biking 1200 miles to raise money to buy wheelchairs for people in third-world countries through […]
When I first met Jenny Steinmetz, she was the type of person that I saw as “perfect.” Perfect marriage, perfect home, perfect kids, going to church kind of girl. As I got to know Jenny a little better I discovered that she had painful struggles that couldn’t be seen on the outside. Jenny has suffered four miscarriages while trying to have a family. Even after she and her husband had those children they so desperately wanted, there were other challenges she didn’t expect. In the end, she’s learned to find happiness even when there isn’t a happy ending.
Spend 1 minute with this young woman and she is sure to brighten your day. I first met Sarah Patterson through an incredible program called “Miss Amazing” which gives women and girls with disabilities the opportunity to compete in a pageant. I was a judge that year and I’m proud to say I voted for her and she went on to win a National title. Sarah radiates joy. She encourages people around her to view the world in a more positive way and she has been a good reminder to me that “disabilities” or a “diagnosis” is just a label. You can do anything you set your mind to and Sarah is living proof of that. This is her story.
Sasha’s story is one that I wish no mother ever had to tell. I first met Sasha through a fundraiser for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. She told me about her daughter Kandice. Even though I never got the chance to meet that little girl, she has affected the way I live my life forever. I guarantee she will change yours too.
Becky and her husband Joe had just built their dream home when the unthinkable happened. No one ever expects they’ll hear the word cancer, but life can turn on a dime and it has left this beautiful couple fighting for Joe’s life. I hope this episode of “Not The Way I Planned” leaves you with a newfound gratitude for the little things and makes you hold your loved ones a little closer. To help Joe and Becky fight their battle with cancer click HERE.
I told myself with this episode of the “Not The Way I Planned” podcast that if my story helps one person it is worth sharing. My journey with body image and self-esteem has been a rough one. I’ve battled anorexia, bulimia, and scoliosis. It’s taken a very long time to learn to love who I am, but I’m proof that it’s possible.
Crystal Lowther is one of the most dedicated Mother’s I have ever met. She hasn’t had it easy, putting her dreams on hold while raising her two boys as a single Mom. Her children are incredible. Infectious smiles and personality for days, but her son Brandon has come with some significant challenges and a diagnosis of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Please share Crystal’s story with anyone who has battled, raising a “difficult child” or has gone through a divorce. Crystal and her boys, Robert and Brandon
This woman is the epitome of a good co-parent. From the very beginning of my divorce journey, she was an example to me that everything can be okay if you proceed as mature adults and keep the kids your top priority. I’ve witnessed her ex and her new husband all come together to support the kids, but her words of wisdom go even deeper than that. From holidays to bouncing kids back and forth, to having a relationship with your ex’s family, she’s got it down! If you are a co-parent or if you know someone who is co-parenting please listen to Keesha’s message. I promise it’s worth every second.
I first met Jennifer Claassen through an incredible program called “Miss Amazing.” The program gives women with special needs the opportunity to experience pageantry. Jennifer was the director and we connected over having son’s on the Autism Spectrum. Shortly after our first conversation, I learned that Jennifer had suffered a brain aneurysm and was lucky to be alive. She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. She’s an advocate, a hero to many, and living proof that with a little love, hope, and faith you can get through anything. This is her story.
I’ve known Ammie for over thirty years. She’s been through a lot. She’s inspired and strengthened me in some of my darkest days and yet she’s just like so many of us in being overly critical and feeling inadequate. Trust me, she is one of the best people I’ve ever met and I am honored to call her my friend. She sent me in part this message after our interview and if you read it you’ll know why I think so highly of her. (p.s. I didn’t even get her permission to share this, but her words were so powerful that I knew they had to be heard. Sorry, Ammie if you don’t forgive me!) In talking about feeling embarrassed and inadequate about telling her story she said… I feel like any other mom who just wants the very best for her kids. To me, my story really isn’t that inspiring and I’m not really that amazing. I feel like I am just a normal person. Being a single mom doesn’t make me amazing if anything it shines a light on all my flaws. Having a child with special needs definitely does not make me a superhero, but it sure has given me the opportunity to know one in real life. I’m lucky enough to love two of my own superheroes and tuck them into bed every night. I find myself getting caught up in comparing myself and my story to another and then the criticism sets in and then, of course, the guilt and the self-doubt quickly follows. Some days I feel like a rock star mom, some days I might be a rock star employee. Most days, however, I feel like I’m just the bare-minimum-kind-of-mom who definitely could be better. Thank goodness for resilient kids who love us anyway and in their small and perfect ways, remind us of what really matters most. I think about all of the people who have been a part of my journey. Whether they have played a small part or a big part, it is as if they were all precisely placed into my life right when I needed them. Some of them truly angels. Life has been full of a lot of really good days mixed in with a big dose of some really hard ones. If there is just one person who can relate to this and if this is something that they needed to hear, then I’m glad I got to share my story with you. There have been a lot of bright lights come to me on dark days and if I have learned anything on this journey it’s that the sun always rises and there’s always something to be grateful for. Time has a way of making everything better. We spend so much time worrying about things we cannot control and forget to live in the moment. Everything always falls into place anyway and the challenges we face today are the things that will buoy us up in the future. It’s amazing to look back and think, “wow, we survived!” Life is tough and you can do hard things. Don’t doubt for two seconds that you are not enough because you are! I still believe that the best is yet to be, and yes, I just recited all of my favorite quotes! Even though this life isn’t what I thought of when I dreamed of my “happily ever after” I’ve learned it’s far better to just be “happy after all.”
This is by far the most vulnerable interview I have ever conducted. I tried to bury my childhood for many years. Just so you know, that doesn’t work. It played a big role in me not having a successful marriage down the road and bled into every other aspect of my life. I was running away from everything I was and everything I didn’t want to be. I had to confront all of those demons before I could get to a good place within myself. In this episode of “Not The Way I Planned” I sit down with my Mother. It’s a relationship that has never been easy. I was born nearly three months early and I never bonded with my Mom the way most newborns do. It’s taken 38 years of struggles and our relationship is still far from perfect but we have come a long way and I am so grateful to have her in my life. This is our story.
When I worked with Nicole I thought she had the perfect family and the perfect life. It wasn’t until I ran into her in the …
I first met Lindsay back in 2008. I had just given birth to my second child and was working as a traffic reporter for a …
My friend Zizly was dumped just a few months before her wedding by a man she had been with for nine years. This is her …
Episode 1: Hello! I’m Carly and my life has gone anything but the way I thought it would. Can you relate? Join me each week …