Difficult Happens; Effective Communication for Bosses: Recent Episodes
Lara Currie
Lara Currie is on a mission to transform the way we communicate with one another. The workplace doesn't have to be the source of conflict and discord. She'll teach you how to have open and honest communication with people, how to navigate conflict, and how to deal with the difficult "stuff" we all encounter in this ever increasingly defensive world. www.difficulthappens.com Difficult can happen anywhere, so Lara is here to make sure you know exactly how to create positive communication, decrease defensiveness, and navigate the difficult that we all have to deal with in life, at home, and in the work environment so that you, your business, and your team, can save time, money and energy. https://www.difficulthappens.com
“Uncertainty creates fear, fear create anger” -- Lara Currie
Out of control Karen’s are the poster people for the rise in bad behavior.
Uncertainty causes fear, and fear causes anger. All too often that anger is vented in the wrong venue. Customers rage at service workers, policies trigger push back, and those who want things to ‘go back to normal’ (whatever that is) are walking around in a heightened emotional state that your staff has to deal with.
In today’s episode, what ONE THING you can do to tame those unruly clients and diffuse the anger that your clients are expressing
- Why people are more disrespectful
- Is incivility on the rise?
- How do you show empathy when they are a jerk
- What key phrases will work to calm a tense situation
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
We spend a lot of time with the people we work with. Whether in person or online friendships form, and leadership often tries to encourage a sense of camaraderie with staff.
Without knowing it, this can create strife between coworkers without meaning to.
When does camaraderie become toxic? With a nod to systems theory, we can learn how and why what is intended as 'team building' may, in fact, grow animosity.
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Do you ever wonder how a workplace turns toxic?
It doesn’t happen all at once, and it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Like a pot that slowly boils there are a lot of steps along the way where you can stop the chain reaction of events before the workplace turns toxic.
When blame, exaggeration, and generalizations are used in a conflict communication gets lost. Generalizing is another way to label and dismiss a person or a topic.
Exaggeration inflames what may otherwise be no big deal, into a conflict.
When identifying errors turns into a blame game, that is where the conversation ends.
Tune in and discover what to be on the lookout for to make sure that your workplace doesn't slide down the slippery slope and wind up TOXIC.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Its by inches we travel miles
- What to be on the lookout for
- How to address minor issues before they become major
- Intergenerational communication
- Toxic workplaces
- Where it all starts
- How coworkers make it worse
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
On top of everything else that you have had to deal with this past year, now loneliness is on the rise, and the impact of loneliness on you and the work you do is impactful.
Douglas Nemecek, MD, chief medical officer for behavioral health at Cigna says that the impact of loneliness on your health is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is possibly worse than obesity and that isolated people risk having a significantly shorter life span.
I don’t think it's any surprise that any stress on your emotions impacts you physically, as the saying goes, your body keeps the score of your emotions.
Contact with others is not connection, while you may interact with a lot of people, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are connecting with them. On today's episode, signs of loneliness, what to watch out for, and what to do about it.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Signs of loneliness that you might not be aware of
- Mask emotions and their purpose
- What to watch out for
- What the heck is going on
- What next?
- Healthy alternatives
- What you need to combat loneliness
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Our best self makes all the plans but she doesn't always show up to implement them
The world is full of information, a plethora of knowledge is just a Bing search away, psych, we all use google. Yet with all this information at our fingertips, we can know a thing, understand it, but when it comes to implementing, it’s not as simple, we can have a hard time putting that information, that knowledge into practice.
So what do you need to make sure that you, and your team, walk the walk, and get implementing?
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What sinks a team
- Learning vs knowing
- What three things you need before you implement
- The $325 billion dollar business getting in your way?
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
This is a juicy episode filled with the way’s that you can use stories in your everyday work life, from the boardroom to the stage. Carol and I talk about everything from our personal struggles and successes to the DNA of the feminine, from speaker hijackers to why Emma should stop watching Law and Order SVU.
Carol tells us how she uses the three-act story structure and the Hero’s journey when working with clients. There are lots of free giveaways on dealing with conflict and a strategic speaking guide.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Stories help us see ourselves in others experiences
- Stories help us ‘rewrite history’ so that we can see a better way
- We don’t know how our personal story can impact others and the work that we do
- Throughout history it was dangerous for Women to speak their truth
- How recognizing patterns can help your storytelling
- Do an after-action review post speaking engagement, guest podcast episode, board meeting etc.
- Practice and repeat you message as often as possible to become more comfortable
- Visualize your environment
- Use skills practice and reflection to become a better speaker
Resources:
10 TIPS for Dealing with Difficult People
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Well, some difficult S*it just happened.
In 176 weeks of recording the difficult happens podcast, I have never missed a publication.
It’s time for me to model the very behavior I talk about. We will all go through some … stuff in our lives and I want you to do the same when you encounter some really difficult stuff, take care of yourself and your family.
Next week, I will be back and I will be combating toxic, manipulative, bullying behavior head-on!
Work with Lara:
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Deep thoughts by Jack Handy (SNL)
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Everyone, at one point in their life, has experienced a compliment that did not sit right. Either it was way too personal, or it felt a little backhanded.
That's why we're tackling whether or not compliments are toxic!
When we break down compliments, we can see that it depends on a variety of factors; Who is giving the compliment, the context, and the motive. When it comes to genuine compliments, you know it when you see it.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Compliments
- Gaslighting and Narcissism
- Genuine compliments
- Overly familiar compliment
- Sideways compliments
- Backhanded compliments
- Awkward compliments
- Fishing compliments
- Toxic or Not?
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Squad
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
"Knowledge is when you learn something new every day." We learn learn learn all day long but do we take enough time to apply? I love to learn, and learning the concepts is one thing, but implementing is another.
This brings us to the one thing that we all need that we cannot do without. Something paramount to implementing better ways of communication, and that is empathy.
What is empathy to you?
Empathy is the ability to understand what other people feel emotionally and see things from their perspective. Empathy is important because it is a precursor to any conversation. However, there is more to empathy than meets the eye, especially for business leaders.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Learning
- Implementing
- Empathy
- Will Smith: Fault vs. Responsibility
- Empathy and Accountability
- Ways to show empathy
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
You Tube: Will Smith - Fault vs. Responsibility
Squad
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
What kind of energy do you give off? Do you find yourself expressing more masculine attributes or feminine?
This concept of masculine and feminine has been around a lot, and we are beginning to see it take hold in the entrepreneurial and small business fields. Someone who is more focused and driven is seen to have stronger masculine traits, while more caring and creative is seen as having more feminine traits.
Discussing masculine and feminine energies is based on a continuum, yin and yang. People are made up of different traits, and when we say "masculine energy" or "feminine energy" in this context, it does not mean male and female, yet these attributes and expressions are often used in a male/female way.
In this episode of Difficult Happens, we tackle the concept of masculine and feminine energy and how that impacts your interpersonal and professional relationships.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is Masculine and Feminine
- The Squad membership
- Yin and Yang
- Masculine traits
- Feminine traits
- Where the concepts break down
- Tone policing
- Communication
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Squad
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever found yourself engulfed in a project, focused on the little details like font or style, and before you realize it, hours have passed?
Guess what? You were distracted. Distracted does not always mean bouncing from one task to another or getting lost on Facebook when you should be working on a report. You can be hyper-focused on a task but be focused on something that does not serve your end goal.
In the end, it doesn't matter why you were distracted. The effect is the same.
Amber Hawley from the Distracted Entrepreneur Podcast joins us to talk about her personal and professional experience helping distracted entrepreneurs and those with ADHD.
With the happenings of the last year, a lot of people are distracted. Many women are finding it difficult to focus with the children at home more, and the change in routine leading to a greater number of burnouts. In this episode, we break down systems and structures, boxes and labels, and discuss ways to combat burnout.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Being distracted and ADD
- What distraction looks like
- Buttons and triggers
- Personality Traits
- Types of ADD
- Time-Blindness
- Shiny Object Syndrom
- Breaks and burnout
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Squad
Mentioned in the Podacast:
16 Personalities
The Power of When - Michael Breus
7 Types of ADD
Psychology in Seattle - Kirk Honda
Guest Resources:
The Easily Distracted Entrepreneur
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
When you think of someone who's being assertive, what comes to mind? Do you see someone who is direct and confident, or do you see someone who is confrontational and forceful?
Have you ever been accused of being “aggressive”?
Was it a valid critique or was it an attempt to shut you down? Assertive communication is often confused with being aggressive by those who do not like what you are saying, but they are NOT the same.
Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships happen one breach at a time, We will be discussing how assertive is often misinterpreted as aggressive and is used against women and others lower in a business hierarchy. Learn about different communication styles and whether or not someone is being assertive or aggressive.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is assertive
- Assertive vs. Aggressive
- Four types of Communication Styles
- How words change
- Toxic or Not
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
YouTube
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
In a world that is increasingly growing more visual, how do you keep up?
Younger and younger generations are becoming more socially competent in understanding differences in the "true-self" and "Instagram-self," but what about information spread online?
86% of people are now what is known as a "visual learner." Infographics and other visual aids are a great way to absorb information. However, as we look at older generations, we see a problem where we have not kept up on our education with the vast evolution of the internet and are trusting of data visualizations that might have completely false data.
Amy Balliett of Killer Visual Strategies joins us today to discuss what you need to know as a consumer, entrepreneur, marketer, and leader. From best practices to statistics, this is one podcast you don't want to miss.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Social media competency
- TikTok
- Recommended tools and websites
- Mixed Fonts
- Stock Content
- Twitter star vs. heart
- Augmented Reality
- Amy Balliett
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Guest Resources:
Killer Visual Strategies
Amy Balliett LinkedIn
Book- Killer Visual Strategies: Engage Any Audience, Improve Comprehension, and Get Amazing Results Using Visual Communication
Websites:
Canva
Dribbble
Netflix Shows:
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Hanna
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Do you consider yourself a loyal person? Do you expect loyalty from your friends?
On this episode of Toxic or Not, we are tackling loyalty. Many see loyalty as a black and white issue. You're either loyal or you're not, when in reality, there is a lot of room for the shades of gray.
I conducted a (very unscientific) poll gathering information on whether people perceived loyalty as a positive or a negative, and the results were surprising.
Older generations were most likely to have a positive association with the concept of expecting loyalty from others. In comparison, younger generations had a very negative association with the word.
There is a dark side to loyalty. Here is what you need to know about when loyalty turns toxic.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is Loyalty
- Generational Poll
- When loyalty is toxic
- When loyalty is not toxic
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
YouTube
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Who likes to talk about money?
Money and finances can be a minefield. How much should I charge? What are my costs? Do I really need this? There is a lot to contemplate!
There is a lot of advice out there, stalwarts preach that we should put money into an IRA or 401K, that we should do this or don't do that, and not question it. But know what? That might not be the best route for you. It's okay to trust your gut and ask more questions!
Lesley Batson of Rebel Rock Wealth joins us to discuss women, money, and business. Including myths around these topics that will surprise you.
Learn the whole truth about money and how you can get your money to work for you and the answers may surprise you.
We'll discuss math anxiety, triggers, and the six wealth destroyers you should watch out for.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Lesley Batson
- Women and Money
- Math Anxiety
- Triggers
- Pricing
- Price-it-right calculator
- Stereotypes
- How to keep more money
- 6 wealth destroyers
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Guest Resources:
Checkout Lesley’s website
Rebel Rock Wealth
Price It Right Calculator
SchoolHouse Rock:
How a bill becomes a law
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever worked someplace and only realized, looking back, that it was a pretty toxic place?
Sometimes figuring out that we are working in a toxic company, or with toxic people is difficult. So ask yourself, are you being treated unfairly, or are you just needing "thicker skin"? (spoiler alert - if it’s toxic for you, it’s toxic to you)
A few weeks ago I saw an SNL Skit that was funny but also a little scary.
The skit touched on toxic workplaces, gaslighting, and silencing one's voice through the lens of whiny 20-somethings, i.e.tropes and logical fallacies. What's scary about this is that these things do happen. But, not in the scenario the SNL cast acted out...
That's why I'm introducing a new series called "Toxic or Not." We'll discuss all the ad hominem fallacies and whether or not a situation was actually toxic.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- SNL SKIT
- What is a Trope
- Ad Hominem Fallacies
- Toxic or Not series
- Sketch shows to check out
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Sketch Shows:
Baroness Von Sketch Show
A Black Lady Sketch Show
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“I do not think that word means what you think it means” -- The princess bride.
The term “self care” has joined the ranks of other terms that have been watered down, co-opted, or re-defined to the point that it means nothing.
I have noticed a concerning trend with self care, it has been used to manipulate, bully, and has been productized and sold. So I asked my friend and selfcare & resilience coach Stacy Fisher to join me and talk about the topic, and how you can find what works best for you. (without making a purchase!)
Remember, feelings are meant to be felt, not used against you to make you feal.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is self care
- Patterns and Habits
- The self-care paradox
- How to spot manipulation
- The 8 dimensions of self care framework
- How to identify rhythms
- Daily rituals
- How MLM’s use personal development to manipulate
- Accepting what is
- Finding your own routine
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Guest Resources:
Checkout Stacy’s website
The self-care paradox blog post
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever used the phrase "I'm not like other women"? More often than not, we use this phrase to really say, "I'm not like the stereotype that has been placed on women."
Spoiler alert - none of us are.
Women have been trained to be the caretakers of other people's feelings, and when we deviate from that, especially professionally, it can lead to women being viewed as a "Queen Bee." This myth often portrays strong women as the Miranda type boss from The Devils Wear Prada, which normalizes the behavior.
The truth is, there is no evidence that senior women are more or less helpful to junior women than their male counterparts.
Why does this myth persist? Not for the reasons you may think.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Are women tougher on other women?
- The evolution of women in business
- "When Meanness was Celebrated" by Shirly Li
- Queen Bee myth
- Why we view women more harshly
- How generational life experiences play a role.
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Help@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad:
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
When Meanness Was Celebrated:
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2021/04/scott-rudin/618569/
The immortal and false myth of the workplace queen bee:
https://theconversation.com/the-immortal-and-false-myth-of-the-workplace-queen-bee-129680
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“In order to build a rewarding employee experience, you need to understand what matters to your people.” -- Julie Bevacqua
How good are you at reading the room? Do you consider yourself to be a Workplace Meteorologist, someone who is able to read the temperature? Or do you need a little assistance to see the writing on the wall?
When working with those in an already heightened emotional state, it is important to have self-awareness and realize when you are being triggered. Defensiveness begets defensiveness.
On part two of two, Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc and the Drama Free Workplace Podcast joins us to talk about her experience with drama in the workplace and her insights after 20 years of workplace investigations.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Conflict in the workplace
- What a Workplace Meteorologist is
- How context can impact situations
- Over-sharers
- Healthy workplace cultures
- Subconscious complicit bias
- What HR is
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad:
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
Patti Perez - Drama Free Workplace Podcast:
https://persuasionpoint.com/podcast/
164: Drama in the workplace with Patti Perez, part 1
https://difficulthappens.com/164/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, "What else could this mean?” -- Shannon L. Alder
Summary:
Drama in the workplace is inevitable.
Sometimes situations don't seem fair. How many times have you seen or know of someone who received a promotion or a raise at work and can't help but wonder why? What about being rejected for a position because you didn't fit their "workplace culture"?
Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc and the Drama Free Workplace Podcast joins us for this first, two-part podcast discussing her experience with workplace drama. Patti has conducted over 1200 workplace investigations over the last 20 years, giving us insight into workplace drama, patterns and themes, and workplace culture.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Patti Perez
- Dismissal and justification of workplace drama
- Women in the workplace
- Personality Types
- Culture and its different meanings
- Culture Fit
- Fairness
- The meaning of words and what's behind them
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad:
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
Patti Perez - Drama Free Workplace Podcast:
https://persuasionpoint.com/podcast/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” -- Brené Brown
Opening our true selves and exposing our thoughts, dreams, and shames can be a frightening experience.
Trading our comfort for courage and opening ourselves up to public judgement often leads us to a Vulnerability Hangover.
The Vulnerability Hangover was coined by Brene Brown to describe the feelings that wash over us after sharing publicly and stem from shame and vulnerability.
We subconsciously and continually seek out acceptance, reverting to our primal selves where group survival was critical. That's why showing our vulnerable, true selves can be so frightening.
In my TED-style talk with Speaking Your Brand's Thought Leadership Summit, Echos of a free-range childhood, I shared a vulnerable story about a traumatic time in my life and how I reclaimed my power, afterwards, emotions washed over me and led to a Vulnerability Hangover.
Here’s how I worked through it, and how you can too.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is vulnerability?
- The Vulnerability Hangover
- The courage of being vulnerable
- Echos of a free-range childhood
- The cathartic feeling of being vulnerable
- How to deal with a Vulnerability Hangover
- Empowerment Pillar Four, Refresh
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Podcast 162 - Refresh with Dysfunctional Affirmations:
https://difficulthappens.com/162/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad:
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
Subscribe - 10 Tips on how to deal with difficult people and sticky situations:
https://difficulthappens.com/10tips/
Carol Cox - Speaking Your Brand:
https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/
Brene Brown:
https://brenebrown.com/
Brene Brown: Listening to Shame:
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever been scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see those little affirmation posts? What’s your first reaction? Have you tried them and found that they don't really work for you?
You're not alone.
Affirmations for self-care, love affirmations, black women empowerment affirmations, etc., are some of the most popular "affirmation for" searches on Google.
Why don't you see affirmations for dysfunctional people? Dysfunctional affirmations are for those whose first reaction to seeing motivational quotes is to roll their eyes (figuratively or literally) more often than not, it’s because you were raised in dysfunction.
This is where pillar four of the Empowerment Pillar Model comes in; Refresh.
Refresh your body, mind, and sense of self. Anyone who has experienced some ‘ish, dealt with a manipulator or breathed air, needs time to repair because your body keeps the score of every emotion you feel.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What are affirmations
- What refresh means
- Self-care
- Toxic positivity
- What refreshing involves
- Three dysfunctional affirmations
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email hello@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:
https://difficulthappens.com/159/
Podcast 160 - Reclaim Your Power; Breaking Up Is Hard To Do:
https://difficulthappens.com/160-2/
Podcast 161 - Restore - Essential Boundaries For Bosses
https://difficulthappens.com/161-2/
Podcast 139 - When Positivity is Toxic
https://difficulthappens.com/139-2/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
Carol Cox - Speaking Your Brand
https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/
“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.”
-- Doreen Virtue
Do you ever feel like you’re being taken advantage of? A coworker, boss, or even a friend asks more and more of you. It could be anything from your time, work product, or even your attention that they seek and when you tell them no, they keep pushing. You don’t really want to, but you feel pressured, and you say yes anyway because you don’t want to be rude.
This is a classic manipulation technique where manipulators will slowly chip away at your boundaries overtime to get the attention they need from you.
This is where the third step of my Pillar of Empowerment framework comes in; Restore.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The Empowered Pillar Model
- What boundaries are
- The four main types of boundaries
- The four different boundary levels
- Micro-boundaries
- Signs of weak boundaries
- How guilt plays into boundary breaches
- Emotional vampires
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:
https://difficulthappens.com/159/
Podcast 160 - Reclaim Your Power; Breaking Up Is Hard To Do:
https://difficulthappens.com/160/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves.” -- Jeanne McElvaney
Now that you can recognize dysfunctional situations and manipulation tactics, What do you do?
Well, now you work on reclaiming your power! Out of each of the Four Pillars of Empowerment, reclaiming is probably the most difficult one for people to do. Reclaiming your power, your internal self, space, and your own narrative takes time, and (that often overused word) Intention.
Reclaiming comes from practice and learning what works for you!
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The Four Pillars of Empowerment
- What reclaiming your power means.
- Story: Sally and Juliette
- Conflict Personality Types
- "Shiney" talk.
- Women Helping Women Fund Tri-Cities.
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Podcast 159 - Recognize what’s really going on when Blame is an issue:
https://difficulthappens.com/159/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
Women Helping Women Fund Tri-Cities:
http://www.whwftc.org
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Blame is a clever trickster. At its root, blame is a form of fear that helps us avoid accountability for our lives.” -- Debbie Ford
Can’t help but wonder why someone refuses to accept doing something wrong, even something small?
When blaming a person or system, your assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong. However, feelings of fear or embarrassment can cause someone to go on the defensive and try to blameshift.
It takes personal growth and development to determine why people act and react the way they do. It takes some guessing and is not always black and white.
Difficult Situations can arise with different people in different situations and it can be hard to figure out what scenario you are in and what approach you should take. The Squad is there to help you navigate these situations.
The Squad Membership works off the four empowered pillars of recognize, reclaim, restore, and refresh. We act and react in a way for a reason, that is why it is so important to understand why someone is going on the defensive and blame-shifting.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The Empowered Pillar Model
- What blame is
- Recognizing blame
- Types of blame
- When blame is used
- Fear, shame, and embarrassment
- Being shamed
- Black and white thinking
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Difficult Happens Squad
https://difficulthappens.com/squad-membership/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Guess what?!
This is a very special episode of Difficult Happens because I am celebrating The 3 YEAR Anniversary since starting the podcast!
With your support, we have made it to over 100 thousand downloads. In the beginning, I jumped in with both feet trying to give everything in the first year to help people reclaim their own power and self-esteem.
It is exciting to see more people becoming more aware of what dysfunctional discourse looks like.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What I learned
- What I did wrong
- What I did right
- How I started in Season 1
- Coming into my own in Season 2
- Discussing the Four Empowered Pillars in Season 3
- Where the podcast is going from here
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Episode 21: Julie Fry - Scaling, Communicating, and Change
https://difficulthappens.com/21-scaling-communicating-and-change/
Personality Tests Episodes 39 - 42
Episode 39: The DISC
https://difficulthappens.com/39-the-disc/
Episode 40: Enneagram
https://difficulthappens.com/40-the-enneagram/
Episode 41: How to Fascinate and The Clifton Strengths Finder
https://difficulthappens.com/41-fascinate-strengths/
Episode 42: Triggers and The FIRO B
https://difficulthappens.com/42-triggers-the-firo-b/
Carol Cox: Speaking Your Brand Podcast
https://www.speakingyourbrand.com
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Ever wonder how you can become more productive? You schedule your tasks every day and try to balance your time but fall short of your goals.
There are three things that entrepreneurs know to help be more productive from understanding cycles to the impact of task-shifting.
Entrepreneurs are a unique type of leader, they have learned when to shift between roles and the ways that they can be more productive in their work without sacrificing their mental health.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The difference between leadership and management
- The myth of balance
- Task shifting versus batching
- Being more productive
- Speaking Your Brand Event
- What Entrepreneurs aren’t the greatest at
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Speaking Your Brand; Brave, Bold, and Beyond Virtual Event
https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/summit/
Cal Newport; Deep Work
https://www.calnewport.com/books/deep-work/
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever had a client flip from a Dr. Jekyll to a Mr. Hyde?
Everything was going along fine and then suddenly their behavior started to change to evasive or defensive.
In most cases, they’re experiencing a triggered reaction. But what caused it?
Was it something you said or did? Is something else going on? Are you triggered?
These triggers and conflicts can lead to feelings of increased stress, tension, and anxiety. (you know your body keeps the score.)
If you are an entrepreneur, manager, leader or business owner it has become increasingly more important to be able to pick up on subtle cues and understand why people act, and react, the way they do.
When you can understand where people's behavior is coming from you can respond to what is triggering their response, and maybe just turn that client back into the good doctor.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The base of a triggered reaction
- The conflict loop
- The animal brain
- The 4 types of non-trauma based triggered reactions
- The content trigger
- Personality tests
- The big trigger times
- Responding to what is not being said
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Sometimes we don’t get a choice on whether or not to be a leader.
When you run a small business, you will frequently be put into the leadership role where, inevitably, you will have to deal with difficult situations and personalities.
Do you have the right support you need to deal with it effectively?
The support needed can range from general business support to peer support, and personal support to professional support.
From running your own business to leading a team (or existing on the planet! For that matter) you will encounter a variety of personalities in a variety of emotional states, how you navigate these interactions can determine your success.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is Emotional Intelligence
- Who a leader is (and isn’t)
- What it takes to be a leader
- What a heightened emotional state is
- Different types of support
- Personal development
- Challenges that women face
- The importance of having a squad
- The Difficult Happens Squad Membership
- Triggered “Seasons”
Join the Squad! A 'whole-human centered' development community of like-minded women who are ready to take their happy back with input, guidance, and support. Personal and Professional development in one place!
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Difficult Happens Squad:
https://difficulthappens.com/squad/
Shelby Moore - Young Leadership Challenges
https://difficulthappens.com/152-2/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
What red flags have you missed?
When starting out, you can be caught up in the excitement of the job or dynamic and excuse behaviors while in the moment. A little thing here, a little thing there, it is easy to miss all these little signs. But hindsight is 20/20 and eventually, you’ll see the writing on the wall.
Now it is becoming more important to recognize dysfunctional and toxic behaviors in the workplace.
Jenn Trepeck of “A Salad With A Side Of Fries” joins us to talk about her previous experience working in an environment that turned toxic over time and what red flags you should watch out for.
Jenn has worked at ad agencies, in-house with clients on brand management, and spent 12 years in the world of finance while growing her own business. Now Jenn is a Health and Wellness Coach and Entrepreneur.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What Toxic Environments Are
- Falling into Toxic Environments
- How Past and Personal Dysfunction can excuse current behavior
- Scarcity and Urgency
- The Push of Loyalty
- Responsibility without Ownership
- Mixing Business with Family and Friends
- Public versus Private Personalities
- Extinction Burst Behavior
- When To Leave
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Mentioned on the show:
Connect with Jenn on Instagram
A Salad With A Side Of Fries
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Why would anyone work in a toxic environment?
A toxic workplace doesn’t crop up out of anywhere, it is created, moment by moment and action by action. Every day there are news stories about bosses and bad behavior and environments that became unbearable.
Have you ever wondered how these environments became so toxic and why people stay?
As it turns out, it is a slippery slope.
Some fields and environments can become stressful over time and others are inherently stressful fields.
When you or your client base is in a heightened emotional state, certain patterns and habits can emerge, showing signs of current or future toxic traits.
In today’s episode 10 toxic red flags to watch out for.
What you’ll hear:
- What manipulation looks like
- How toxicity grows
- What personal development has to do with it
- What is self-esteem
- How to grow self-esteem
- Micro-boundary breaches
- The impact of boundaries
- What every toxic workplace has in common
- Behaviors and Habits that can turn into toxic behaviors
- Relationships and Communication structures that can be warning signs of toxic environments
- Examples of toxic workplaces (Ellen DeGeneres)
- Why and How people excuse toxic behavior and environments
- Toxic environments you can find in Start-ups
- How many red flags before an environment turns toxic
- Information about next week’s guest
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Join the squad:
Inner Circle Squad Membership
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Manipulative toxic behavior is on the rise. There are studies, books, blogs, and podcasts full of information about this trend. But without this one thing, all the information and skills you consume won’t work.
Business owners know it, leaders know it, and successful people display it. On today’s episode, what you need to effectively combat manipulation.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What manipulation looks like
- How toxicity grows
- What personal development has to do with it
- What is self-esteem
- How to frow self-esteem
- Micro-boundary breaches
- The strength of boundaries
- What every toxic workplace has in common
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Join the squad:
Inner Circle Squad Membership
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
To be an impactful leader you need more than just good management techniques, you need good people skills.
Being aware of what motivates, encourages, fosters, and grows a productive team is something that is learned in the trenches of interaction - where leaders are born.
Being a young leader comes with its own set of struggles, on today’s episode Shelby Moore, a 26-year-old leader in a stressful nonprofit who runs a team of over 40 joins me to talk about breaking stereotypes, proving herself, and building a productive team through transitions.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Non-profit culture
- Young leadership
- Building consensus
- Succession planning
- Growing teams in stressful fields
- Firing employees
- Hiring staff
- How to respond to “I have boots older than you”
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Mentioned on the show:
Connect with Shelby on LinkedIn
Women Helping Women
Books;
Emergent Strategy
Pleasure Activism
The One’s We’ve Been Waiting For
Resources: Series on;
Manipulation
Assessments
Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
If you put two people in a room and there will be 4 different points of view. Like the old adage goes 'the definition of a dysfunctional family is more than one person".
Similarly, when you work with a team of people the dynamics are a lot like that of a family. Like a family, individuals can fall into patterns of behavior that impact the whole team.
When you are the boss, the leader of the team, you set the tone, and by their actions or inactions, the patterns and habits that each member follows.
You can set your business up for success and create happy productive teams by knowing 3 things about your employees, tune in and find out what those three things are.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is systems theory
- Small team dynamics
- Small business owners
- Why conflict-types are unique
- Button pushers
- 3 secrets turn into 5 (bonus!)
- What appreciation has to do with it
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Difficulthappens.com/squad
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Do you have a practice?
I’m not talking about Spanish, piano, or handwriting practice I’m talking about a routine that you intentionally set up that helps you achieve a specific, measurable goal.
When you have an intentional practice, that you implement in a routine way, it becomes a habit. We are creatures of habit, and if we don’t drive the train on what that habit is, you may find yourself with a not so helpful routine, that becomes a habit you need to break.
In today’s episode, we dive into what a practice is, and how you can benefit from creating one.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is a practice
- How a routine becomes a habit
- Patterns that humans crave
- The productivity myth
- What time of day does a practice work for you
- When a bad habit creeps into your schedule
- Tag me on Instagram with your practice
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Newsworthy
Tina Mitchell Lunch & Learn
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Did you do some re-prioritising last year?
With all of the unexpected ‘unprecedented events’ last year a lot of us have reprioritized the way we work and play.
Many found this past year super productive while others, not so much.
We don’t often think about productivity until we are either feeling overwhelmed, or starting a new year.
Productivity and overwhelm are two sides of a coin. Balance is what we seek, predictability but as business owners, leaders and bosses, change is inevitable and remaining flexible while also being productive is the goal
Strong boundaries are necessary to avoid falling prey to overwhelm.
In today’s episode, we dive into the best way that you can find balance and create a schedule that works for you while auditing what works, and what doesn’t.
The truth about productivity with productivity expert Amber De La Garza.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Micro-boundary breaches on your time
- How small steps can make a huge impact
- 3 steps to better boundaries
- How your boundaries are impacted
- Where overwhelm comes from
- The number one struggle people have
- Magical thinking
- Productivity as a small business
- Entrepreneurial struggles
- Triggers that get in your way
- Balance in the real world
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources from Guest:
Amber De La Garza Website
Conquer Your Email Masterclass
Productivity Training
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
In Ariana Grande’s song Thank You; Next, she runs down some relationships she has had and what she has learned from them, how she has found wisdom and gratitude even in those that did not work out as planned.
Lessons don’t always come in life-changing monolithic events, like a pandemic, or a job change, which are those moments where there was a marked before and after (the event), there is before the pandemic and (hopefully soon), an after.
Most life changing lessons come in small imperceptible shifts that are only visible in hindsight, that gain clarity through reflection. 2020 has had a lot of that dreaded phrase, unprecedented events, join me in the lessons and gratitudes I have uncovered for 2020. Thank you; next...
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Year in review
- We’ve been through some things
- When you normalize abnormal behavior
- Embracing change
- Intentional reflection
- Some Gramma tiny’isms
- How reflection leads to growth
- The forest through the trees
- Everything in moderation (including moderation)
Wonder what it’s like to work with a coach? Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2021
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Manipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse.
In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms of shifting blame (some, may surprise you) and what you can do about it when they try these tactics on YOU.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is Blame-Shifting
- The Manipulative tactics in action
- How a victim might be shifting the blame on you
- Why minimizing you is on the menu
- How quickly a toxic workplace can be created
- What you should never do
- What you should do when blame is shifted onto you
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Hilarious Word Salad Video
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by Hailey Moeller on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Jerky’esque behavior is rampant these days. Shocker (not).
Rude, jerky, manipulative behaviors are dysfunctional coping skills learned and practiced over their lifetime and were born from their family of origin.
It’s time to take your Happy back! Hold firm to your boundaries and be treated with respect.
Today, we dive into how the bad behavior interferes with you, show you the patterns & cycles the manipulator (&jerk) will go through when you stand firm, and what the most important thing you need to know is so that you can tame that jerk, and outwit that manipulator.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why boundaries are so hard to hold
- How you are impacted
- The games a Jerk may play
- The dance manipulators use
- What is an extinction
- What is a behavioral burst and what does it look like
- Free at last
- Hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself in Grace
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Summary:
When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!
One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’.
Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp?
One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”
It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.)
There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.
Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- What is Magical Speaking
- How words are used to ‘gaslight’ someone
- What to do when someone is talking in circles
- How manipulators obfuscate the truth
- What to do when anger is used against you
- Examples of magical speaking in real life (Depp, Heard)
- 6 tactics manipulators use, along with words, to control your reactions
- What self-love has to do with it
- Why you should ignore the ‘implied’ and speak to the words instead
- The emotional toll of manipulation
- How your triggers play in
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Oprah, Will Smith, & my Mom, all had an impact on the topic of today’s episode. Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it makes you mad and can be hard to get over it.
On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace.
You can’t control the fact that other people’s actions will impact you, but you can control what you do about it.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How you are impacted by others’ actions
- The difference between fault and responsibility
- What your reactions mean
- How you can ‘turn your mind’ about hard things
- How taking responsibility empowers you
- What the four agreements are
- How to use the four agreements
- Time frames for moving on, yours and other peoples
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Mentioned in this episode:
Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Preditors
Will Smith; Fault vs Responsibility
Super Soul Sunday with Malcolm Gladwell
The Four Agreements
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
No one likes that feeling of disappointing someone, or when someone didn’t live up to your expectations, this time of year, and this year in particular, there is a LOT out there to find disappointment in. Did you know that there are two types of disappointment?
How do you tell the difference?
Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut, yet it is a feeling we have all had. Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes.
So what do you do when someone is disappointed in you? Tune in and find out.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The disappointment you are responsible for
- When someone’s disappointment is all about them
- How expectations impact disappointment
- How to determine your responsibility
- What to do with all the feels
- Emotions and manipulation
- Your body’s reaction
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
www.difficulthappens.com
What changes have you experienced this year?
We are in a time ⏳of (that dreaded phrase) unprecedented change, some changes have led to greater awareness, some changes we will be happy to see the back of.
In this episode, we take a look at the changes 2020 has gifted us & how to have gratitude in hard times.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Take the good and leave the bad
- Unwelcome change
- Change and adaptation
- Welcome change
- Gratitude
- Finding happiness in unhappy times
- Embracing an attitude of gratitude
Wonder what it’s like to work with a coach? Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
10 Tips for dealing with difficult people
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
We have all made decisions that we later regret. The question is, did you learn the lesson you needed to learn from that miscellaneous regrettable decision?
Ever turned down a great job because of a shinier one on the horizon?
Have you been silent when you should have spoken up?
I have done both! In today’s episode, I share some cringe-worthy moments that impact me to this day and I tell you all about them, what I learned, and what I would do differently today.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Trusting your gut
- What I have learned from my miscellaneous regrettable decisions
- Trust your gut
- Not saying yes, and not saying no
- What is regret
- Why you should look back at those embarrassing moments
- How the martyr works
- Graceful detachment
- Redirecting behavior
- The power of what you can control
- The verbal processor
- What to say
- How we react
- The conflict triangle, triangulation
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
Newsworthy
Tina Mitchell Lunch & Learn
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
You know that one person who really pushes your buttons? Who gets under your skin? Yea, that’s the one.
Everyone has experienced an irritating person, that one dude who sits on your last nerve, or that mom on the PTA who pushes your buttons, or your teenager when they are bored or just exist as a hormonal mess :)
Today we explore why someone pushes your buttons, when it is manipulative and when it is emotionally immature, and what you can do to eliminate or at the very least minimize their impact on you
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why someone pushes your buttons
- What your inner state has to do with it
- How a dysfunctional childhood influences adult behavior
- The scale of irritation
- The motive for pushing your buttons
- How to calm down
- How to respond to an irritating person
- When to not respond
Wonder what it would be like to work with a coach? Apply for an on-air coaching call
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
TeenWise & MomWise
Dr Kirk Honda reacts to Dr Phil
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Think positively, everything happens for a reason, the Universe will take care of it, it will all just magically disappear, it will go away.
Have you noticed this type of messaging out there? These vapid empty platitudes, in essence, say absolutely nothing.
Toxic positivity is cropping up all over the nation right now, I’m sure you’ve seen it on your news feed or on your social sites. I have witnessed it in my friend groups and from our leaders.
How can positivity be toxic? The research on positive psychology shows us that it can be very beneficial to our mind, health, and development. Positive psychology focuses on things like resilience, strengths building, looking at functional and dysfunctional systems. In the right hands, used the right way it can be a healthy lens to interpret & improve thought patterns or thought habits & re-evaluate dysfunctional systems. It can lead to effective tools that you can use in your own personal toolbox and in your personal growth journey.
Toxic positivity is the push for a mental state in which we only experience and show positive emotions. It is a tendency to react to others suffering and struggles with reductive statements of positivity. It is telling people that they are their own source of their suffering, or that they brought it on themselves, it is filled with pseudo motivational messaging in a sing-songy cadence of cultish hypnotic dismissal. The use of positive psychology In the wrong hands is dismissive, belittling, and manipulative.
This is how manipulators get in the door, toxic people are masters at using the love and light positivity language to manipulate you.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is toxic positivity
- What is positive psychology
- What is the difference
- When motivation goes wrong
- How manipulators use positivity
- Too much of a good think
- Platitudes and attitudes
- Ignorance & gaslighting
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Is unintegrated anger impacting you?
Anger is a powerful emotion, whether it's yours, or someone else's being directed AT you.
Righteous anger can inspire and spark change when channeled effectively.
So what do you do about anger? How do you identify, integrate, and express your anger in an effective way?
My client Leslie Lyons joins me today to dive into this topic, how movement gives your emotions motion, and so much more.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How anger manifests
- What is unintegrated anger
- Healthy anger
- The purpose of anger
- When anger is a mask emotion
- Emotional desire paths
- The enneagram
- Movement & trauma
- Trauma & anger
- Fear & anger
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
The Fall (tv series)
Get in touch with Leslie:
Leslie D Lyons . Com
Follow Leslie on Instagram
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
There are markers along the timeline of our lives. Moments that mark a change, a significant event, or a vivid memory. Like anchors that signify that after this moment, we became different than we were in the moments before.
Holding your child for the first time, when a loved one dies, quitting a job you needed but could no longer tolerate.
When sh*t gets real every animal instinct that we have focuses like the Eye of Sauron on the moment and our brains take note of every emotion, every sense, all the data it can find for its databanks. This is how resilience is born - through experiencing some ‘ish.
How do you thrive while being flooded with endorphins and instinctually being thrown into a choice to fight, flee, freeze, or appease?
A Code Lavender can help.
This code is an intervention that is used when challenging situations threaten unit stability, personal emotional equilibrium, or professional functioning. Code Lavender uses evidence-based relaxation and restoration interventions to help people make enough sense out of the situation to let more lasting solutions emerge later. This doesn’t prevent burnout or stress instead it is akin to psychological first aid.
Reply to this email & tell me, What will you put in your Code Lavender kit??
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What happens when what your experiencing is too much
- How we react to trauma
- What is resilience
- How do you thrive in tough times
- How can a code lavender help
- What is a code lavender
- How it can apply to your home life
- When the turmoil is internal
- Building strong teams
WAHOO - Its Retreat time! Join me for the first-ever Virtual Retreat PILLARS OF AN EMPOWERED LIFE
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Some people just push your buttons, but why?
Manipulators are masters at it, toxic people do it, and those with immature or dysfunctional communication styles both push your buttons and get defensive.
Have you ever thought about what is really going on when your mood instantly changes and someone drives you up a wall, rattles your cage or peeves you off?
We all get triggered, it’s part of the great landscape that is the tapestry of our lives. Sometimes we recognize it and sometimes we don’t.
As leaders, coworkers, friends or employees it’s important that we strive for healthy reactions, but as whole human beings sometimes, we fall short. Today we take a look at why people are triggered so that you can have the skills to respond effectively.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is a trigger
- The four most common types of triggered reactions
- The seed of truth
- How this relates to communication
- Dysfunctional and functional responses
- Emotional triggered reactions (small t trigger)
- The words you say, and those you don’t
- What you are talking about and why its important
- Where you are at and how that plays in
- What to do about it
WAHOO - Its Retreat time! Join me for the first-ever Virtual Retreat PILLARS OF AN EMPOWERED LIFE
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Consultation
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Has anyone ever used the silent treatment with you?
Have you ever been ghosted by someone?
It feels awful to be on the receiving end of someone else’s loud silence.
At best the silent treatment is an immature behavior used by immature and manipulative people. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.
Whether the person in your life is using the silent treatment immaturely or abusively, one thing is for sure, it is infuriating to receive.
Problems cannot be dealt with, conflicts remain in limbo, simple conversations are impossible, and in the end, relationships employing this tactic become either toxic on nonexistent.
In today’s episode, the silent treatment, in its many forms and what to do about it.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is the ‘silent-treatment’
- Why someone uses the silent treatment
- When it’s a manipulation
- When it’s emotional immaturity
- How to respond when someone pulls this on you
- The impact of silence in relationships
- Why it hurts so much
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
When you work in an ego infused male-dominated field it can be hard to thrive. How do you build resilience while thriving in adversity?
My guest today, Ashley Fox, is one of the NFL’s most well-respected journalists and a trailblazer in the ego-infused world of sports media. During her 24-year career, including 7 years as a lead NFL reporter and analyst for ESPN.
Ashley has covered the Summer Olympics, Wimbledon, the Super Bowl, the NBA Finals, the Final Four, the World Series, the Stanley Cup Finals, and the PGA Championship.
She joins me to talk about building resilience, reaching your goals in adversity, and the 5 ways to be a winner at work. All that, and she just got over the COVID 19 Virus!
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How adversity builds resilience
- Why in tough times the biggest lessons can be learned
- What true accountability means
- Thriving as a woman in a male-dominated field
- Reaching your goals
- How to be a winner at work
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Guest Links
Ashley Fox
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music by Scott Holmes Music
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
https://difficulthappens.com/
Have you ever heard the adage if you want to know who you are, look at your 5 closest friends, or show me who your friends are and I will show you who you are?
I have learned that there are certain types of friendships we all need in our lives, friendships that are essential to help us be better, and do better, and help us along our life’s journey.
Friendships are like Concentric circles, some friends are in your inner circle, your squad, your posse, your ride or dies, these are the friends you think of first, then there are some who aren't quite as close to you but they are still an important part of your circle. There are layers to Friendships. have many layers.
These friendships help you become who you are meant to be. They get you through tough times., and you benefit not just by being on the receiving end, but on being the friend yourself.
In today’s episode, the 5 types of friends you should surround yourself with, and what type of toxic friendships you should avoid.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The 5 friendships you need
- What ‘Shine’ theory is
- Types of toxic friendships
- How to feed and water your relationships
- Some friends come & some friends go
- How to be a better friend
- Why ‘big friendships’ are important
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Series on Conflict Personality-Types
©Lara Currie 2020
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Oh what a tangled web we weave; When first we practice to deceive!” -- Sir Walter Scott
Have you ever wondered how people fall for cult leaders? Or why people fall time and time again under the bad influences in their lives?
Most people are trusting. You don’t go around expecting people to lie, but when you put your trust into someone who has only their best interests in mind, you may find yourself making excuses for them.It’s easy to bog yourself down even further and fall victim to their manipulation tactics.
There are several ways to identify manipulative behavior in order to cut that toxic behavior out of your life, and unmask the lies for what they are.
Most people believe that they know themselves and their biases, that they are not easily persuadable by manipulation tactics, or manipulators but the facts are out there in the stories of toxic workplaces and manipulative bosses and leaders.
Why do people fall for lies? It’s not as simple as you may think.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The seven types of lies
- Identifying good vs bad influence
- How people fall for bogus manipulation tactics
- Leon Festinger’s cognitive dissonance theory
- Confirmation Bias and the spread of misinformation
- Micro boundary breaches
- How bad influences can turn us against our own morals
- People we trust have influence over us
- Steven Hassan’s BITE model (Behavior, information, thought and emotional control)
- How to be aware of and question manipulative behavior
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Good Good Good Co.
Monica’s closet
No more Ignorance
No More Ignorance on LinkedIn
The Dream - Season 2
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Garbage in, garbage out.
Have you noticed that there is a lot of negative fear-based messaging out there right now?
If we were to believe every story, post, or article that is published you may think our civilization is on the verge of collapse.
The truth is, its WAYYY better than you may think.
On today’s episode, I dive into 5 reasons it’s not all doom and gloom and how you can ‘turn your mind’ from the black & white, all or nothing, thinking
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How the negative messaging seeps in
- How our animal brain reacts
- If it bleeds it leads, how messaging sticks with us
- How growth can be messy but necessary
- Why we are getting better
- The benefit of Introspection
- How gratitude (real gratitude not fake MLM type gratitude) impacts us
- How to turn the mind
- Accepting what is
- Finding the good
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Good Good Good Co.
Monica’s closet
No more Ignorance
No More Ignorance on LinkedIn
The Dream - Season 2
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Photo by Jordan Donaldson | @jordi.d on Unsplash
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
What are Micro-aggressions?
Aggression is aggression. Like most things, there is a scale involved, a range. To one extreme the aggression is war, violence, while the other end of the spectrum presents as snide comments and passive-aggressive behavior.
Micro-aggressions are so insidious because they hide in plain sight. They are hard to call out and often dismissed by the person using them.
These techniques are used by those who have power when they are, or feel, threatened, insecure individuals in particular. It becomes a defense mechanism, it’s purpose is to keep you down, to ‘put you in your place’, thus restoring the persons feeling of power and feeding their fragile ego.
Here’s how you combat it, in today’s episode.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How minimizing is a micro-aggression
- How Trivializing is a micro-aggression
- How Grouping is used as a micro-aggression
- Social constructs
- The idea of ‘Normal’
- The difference between a micro-aggression, a macro-aggression and a micro-insult
- Why people in power don’t get it
- Marginalized groups bear the brunt of these forms of aggression
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Photo by Jordan Donaldson | @jordi.d on Unsplash
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Is seems almost cliche to say that we are living in unprecedented times. Or maybe it seems trite. Either way, one thing is certain, bad behavior is on the rise, and so is defensiveness leading to a lot of people acting like Jerks.
With emotions at an all-time high how do you be or become a better person when you are surrounded by jerks??
In today’s episode, how to be a better person, not be so negatively impacted by jerky behavior, and techniques to move past defensiveness and ‘just reacting’ to true discourse.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is meant by a heightened emotional state
- Low-grade depressions impact on how a person acts and reacts
- Jerks are often defensive out of habit, a desire to control, or out of fear
- Anger as a mask emotion
- Looking back to move forward
- How you are impacted
- Your sense of self
- Self-esteem and empowerment
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
How we show up online, now, is more important than in pre-COVID times. In-person meetings and large gatherings are a memory and it’s going to be a minute before they come back.
So many online platforms have devolved and actual discourse is difficult if not impossible, so how do you show-up and contribute to the conversation and how do you respond to “Trolls” & “Feed-hijackers”?
Today I have Deborrah Ashley with me to talk about showing up and engaging the right way online. Deborrah is a marketing strategist, consultant, and LinkedIn trainer with a background in brand management, marketing & Business Development
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What platform is best for your brand & your business
- What your profile says about you
- Everything you say, even on someone else’s post, is findable
- To engage or not engage a Troll
- Your voice is needed
- What is normal anyway
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Dog whistles, tropes, Microaggressions. Women in male-dominated fields deal with these attempts to silence, or sideline, them every week.
Last week it came to light that some in presidential candidate Joe Biden’s campaign along with wealthy donors think that Kamal Harris is “Too Ambitious” to be a VP pick.
Strong women, women in male-dominated fields, and those who go against ‘societal norms’ hear this trope as a way to minimize, box, and dismiss their authority.
In today’s episode, we dive into these microaggressions, how they show up, and what YOU can do to take your power back while showing these phrases for what they are, fearful attempts to minimize.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The three types of Microaggressions
- Dogwhistles & tropes used to belittle marginalized groups
- How systemic misogyny gets in your way
- Why we are stronger together
- Standing up to microinsults
- Why things often get worse, after they get better
- Why women in male-dominated fields hear these the most
- What you can say to combat these microaggressions
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Some Biden allies wage a shadow campaign to stop Kamala Harris from
becoming Vice President
In accusations of being too ambitious, some Black women see a double standard
Calling Kamala Harris ‘too ambitious is a lesson for young Black girls
If Kamala Harris is ‘Too Ambitious,’ Then so is every woman with ambition
Is Kamala Harris too ambitious to be Vice President
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Jerky’esque behavior is rampant these days. Shocker (not).
Rude, jerky, manipulative behaviors are dysfunctional coping skills learned and practiced over their lifetime and were born from their family of origin.
It’s time to take your Happy back! Hold firm to your boundaries and be treated with respect.
Today, we dive into how the bad behavior interferes with you, show you the patterns & cycles the manipulator (&jerk) will go through when you stand firm, and what the most important thing you need to know is so that you can tame that jerk, and outwit that manipulator.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why boundaries are so hard to hold
- How you are impacted
- The games a Jerk may play
- The dance manipulators use
- What is an extinction
- What is a behavioral burst and what does it look like
- Free at last
- Hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself in Grace
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Get down off the cross honey, someone needs the wood” -- Dolly Parton
Drama Debbie is in the house, and her martyrdom is impacting everyone.
The victim conflict personality type can impact everyone within earshot, they can be easy to dismiss and tough to deal with directly, don’t get caught chasing the shiny in their drama web.
In today’s episode, we dive into what you can do to redirect drama Debbies’ impact on you and the workplace.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The victim conflict personality type
- How the martyr works
- Graceful detachment
- Redirecting behavior
- The power of what you can control
- The verbal processor
- What to say
- How we react
- The conflict triangle, triangulation
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Every workplace has the potential to become toxic. When you get different personalities together and stressful situations crop up, dysfunctional coping mechanisms kick in. With a strong leader, these situations can be successfully navigated and addressed.
When the boss is the Toxic component in your workplaces it leads to a sort of dysfunctional trickle down that impacts the way the employees interact with one another.
In this episode, we dive into these toxic traits and what to do about it. Knowledge is power.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why high-stress fields are uniquely susceptible
- Why high-stress fields are impacted by dysfunctional communication
- What are the four types of toxic bosses
- When these traits are functional and when they are not
- How emotional manipulation plays out
- Micromanaging
- The Martyr
- Everybody’s best friend
- The Avoider
- Conflict Personality Types
- Active and passive displays of toxicity
- How to navigate toxic bosses
- Why naming it is the first step
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessment
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Did you know that there are two types of disappointment?
The kind that is your responsibility and that you need to reckon with and make amends for and the kind that does not belong to you and sprouts from others’ expectations of you.
Nobody likes that sinking feeling you get in your gut when you have disappointed someone, yet it is a feeling we have all had.
So what do you do when someone is disappointed in you? Tune in and find out.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The disappointment you are responsible for
- When someone’s disappointment is all about them
- How expectations impact disappointment
- How to determine your responsibility
- What to do with all the feels
- Emotions and manipulation
- Your body’s reaction
www.difficulthappens.com
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
4 Generations talk about the Equal Rights Amendment
Connect with Puja Madan on LinkedIn
Visit the Mindfulness Map Site
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
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The most well established, predictable, staunch systems are being re-imagined. Many companies and leaders are looking to make substantive changes. How do you make real changes in such turbulent times?
My guest, Puja Madan, helps leaders develop resilience and a mindset shift where real change can happen. Puja and I dive into some pretty tough topics about real change, and fake change like tokenism (but no real procedures or benefits) and virtue signaling (that is symbolic and not substantive).
Real change, real growth can happen, and here’s how
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is mindfulness
- What does it mean to be a mindfulness leader
- Why it is the top 3 people that can make a difference
- Can you be a great leader in a toxic work environment
- What is tokenism & what does it have to do with a toxic policy
- What is virtue signaling and what does it have to do with manipulation
- How can we be mindful
- When unintentional inclusion impacts you
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
4 Generations talk about the Equal Rights Amendment
Connect with Puja Madan on LinkedIn
Visit the Mindfulness Map Site
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash
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Have you ever been talking with someone and there is a lot being said, but not much understanding?
Last week in the Difficult Happens Podcast private FB group, “Community Happens” (if you haven't already, please join us), Rachel mentioned someone who got really wordy in conversations and uses “fact slamming”.
Right away I knew what she meant, but not everyone can see it when it is happening around them, or to them.
On Today’s episode we talk about obfuscation in communication, particularly by using theRed-Herring fallacy. I’ve got some examples of how this plays out in everyday conversations and what you can do to combat it.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is a fallacy
- What is Obfuscation and why is it a manipulation
- Examples of the fallacy being used in different situations
- Why it is so hard to see it when it is right in front of you
- Social media posts are a hotbed of the red herring fallacy
- What is the red-herring fallacy
- Why is it so dangerous
- How it stops discourse & true communication in its tracks
- Why people won’t cop to using it
Join the conversation - Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“I felt so much that I started to feel nothing” -- Lara
When we learn, we grow. In my lifetime, there have been many…. let’s say ‘opportunities for growth.’ Today is another one of those opportunities.
Our bodies keep the score of every emotion, every feeling that we have. Stress can physically make you sick, trust me, as someone of white-Irish heritage any stress I feel, whether conscious or not, set’s off my skin. Rosacea, psoriasis, hives. I’ve got ‘em all.
You know what happens when you ignore the warning signs and when the stress becomes too much? Your body switches tactics and get’s louder. Not in the way you might think, louder in the sense that it starts to shut you down.
Feel a lack of energy?
A little scatter-brained?
Is your mind wandering off?
Does a commercial make you cry?
Are you jumpy?
Today, I am taking my own advice and walking through the hard stuff.
Join the conversation - Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Finan Akbar on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“When we know better, we do better.” -- Maya Angelou
Summary:
Anger is a powerful emotion, anger is the great protector. Anger can also be a mask for an emotion that you have but do not want to acknowledge.
By now we have all seen or heard about the Central Park woman Amy Cooper who was asked to leash her dog and proceeded to call the police and claim she was being threatened by a black man.
She claimed to have been afraid, only she knows what she was feeling. I would guess she was actually feeling embarrassed and or ashamed. Not easy emotions to feel, so instead, anger stepped in as she approached the man and tried to grab his phone, as she reefed on her dog’s collar, as she made that 911 call.
Today, I talk with you about the feels, emotions, their purpose and their gifts. I share with you three simple things that you can do when you suspect the emotion you are feeling may be a mask
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The real meaning of anger
- The real meaning of shame
- What gifts these emotions have
- What questions these emotions want us to ask of ourselves
- Fear and how it can also be a mask
- Trying new things
- Hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself in Grace
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
The Language of Emotions - Karla McLaren
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Finan Akbar on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” -- Ford
Summary:
Have you ever had to have a difficult conversation with yourself? Change happens with us, or without and sometimes that change brings up the hard stuff. Julie Fry joined me for a “Coffee & Conversation” series that I do on my YouTube Channel to talk about deciding to sell her business, depression, Peri-menopause, and so much more.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why a change was needed
- When it’s not fun anymore
- When you need outside help for depression
- How turning 50 hits
- Perimenopause
- Trying new things
- Sitting in uncertainty
- How depression shows up in different ways
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Bill Pennell on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
"Listen to hear, not to respond.” Lara
Summary:
The simple act of listening can diffuse a tense situation.
We’ve all experienced a conversation where the other person is just waiting to respond, not really listening.
When it comes to conflict, it is almost always the case that the people involved are waiting to talk, to explain, to convince, to persuade, to justify, not to really listen and hear or understand.
Empathetic listening is a gift. In today’s episode, I go through how to listen so that you can really hear what the other person is saying and experiencing.
Open heart and nonjudgmental empathy
Remember your body Eye contact -
Listen for feelings as well as their perceived facts, try to picture what they are saying
Dont try to solve it, even in your mind
It’s okay to ask questions, to clarify, not to judge, solve or justify. For example, ‘how did that make you feel’
It comes down to your intention, you have to want to listen,
Listen to hear, not to respond.
Leave room for silence
You can say something like, I am sorry you are going through that, that must be hard, or painful,
‘I hear what you are saying,’
‘That gives me a lot to think about’ thank you
‘Thank you for sharing that with me,’
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is active listening
- Why solving the problem isn’t the point
- Empathy is a muscle that needs exercising
- What my 12-year-old daughter taught me
- Non-verbal cues
- Pay attention to your body
- Making eye contact
- The importance of an apology
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Alireza Attari on Unsplash
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We’ve come a long way baby… and there is farther to go. When it comes to gender equality, the pace of change is slow. If you are a woman in a male-dominated field, the pace of change can feel glacial, and at times, as if it will never come.
Anger has been the moral property of males when women are angry it is a warning of indignity, threat, insult, or harm. Expressing this anger may get you dismissed or labeled as “hysterical”.
So what does a strong woman in a male-dominated field need in order to thrive? Tune into today’s episode and find out!
"Empowered women, empower women.”
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Entitlement and action
- Subtle (and not so subtle) gender bias
- Stereotype driven expectations
- Self-doubt
- Expressing anger
- Peer support
- Mentorship
- Paying it forward
- Personal and Professional development
- Women in Leadership
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Mentioned in This Episode:
Hilda Bryant
Theresa B Smith
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Alexandra I. on Unsplash
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Divorce, changing jobs, shifting friendships, or even say a nasty virus. Hard times and change are inevitable, so how do you make it through and build resilience?
When you are no stranger to dysfunction, trauma, manipulation tactics, and change, times of crises can seem almost calming. Lara Currie & Ameé Quiriconi talk about how good change can come from challenging times.
The COVID pandemic has laid bare the shortcomings and the strengths of our leadership, people's emotions are raw and with that, fear will fill the vacuum. Building resilience and creating sweeping change takes time, like turning a cruise ship in open waters, it can seem, at times, like nothing at all is changing when in fact you (we, us) are headed in a whole different direction.
From divorce to self-esteem, from nurses on the front line to historians from an earlier generation, we dive into it all.
Join us for Coffee & Conversation aired live (to tape) on YouTube
Summary:
Sometimes avoiding a tough conversation is the way to go, the ones that involve issues that work themselves out with time. Most conversations don’t. They need to be addressed, confronted, or even involve a “carefrontation”.
How do you do this? How do you have a tough conversation that you have avoided or just plain don’t want to have?
It can feel a bit daunting, and always has a physical component (racing heart anyone?) Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered with this tip.
In today’s episode, what one thing you should do to make it through a tough conversation.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- When you live from the outside in
- Why it’s important to live from the inside out
- The importance of having only one intention
- The importance of communication
- Stress is inevitable - do this
- Your body will react
- Honesty and openness
- How thinking about something is different than speaking it
- There will be an emotional and social component
- Take your power back
Watch the Bonus episode and Subscribe for video tips YouTube
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Summary:
Leadership is evolving and that’s a good thing.
Fluid and ever-changing aren’t just buzzwords, they are the new norm which means that the way leaders of every type lead also needs to change and grow to meet the new and uncertain challenges they will face.
There are some inspiring examples of great leadership styles emerging from unexpected places, and we can learn from their example and adopt some of these skills.
In today’s episode, we dive into what leadership should look like now.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Patriarchal vs matriarchal leadership
- The impact of low self-esteem on leadership
- The impact of Vulnerability
- The importance of communication
- Stress is inevitable - do this
- Radical candor
- Honesty and openness
- Why peoples BS meter is up
- There will be an emotional and social component
Watch the Bonus episode and Subscribe for video tips YouTube
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
If you were to graph out what communication is, it would look like a vast interconnected web that goes on forever. There are so many variables that impact the way we communicate and the way that we perceive others' meanings. 🥺😑🤣 It was illuminating to sit down with my mom Dr. Theresa Smith, to talk about context, discourse, culture, feminism, inter-generational similarities and differences, and everything in between. How often do you think about the impact of your race, sex, region, and generation when you are trying to make sense out of why you see something, hear something, or believe something to be true, so different than someone else??? Some use certain communication styles to deceive and manipulate using tactics such as blame-shifting, obfuscation, gaslighting & using the technique of "word-salad" 🥗to confuse or distract you. Learning how to identify these techniques builds your communication acumen.
"The secret of good crisis management is not good vs. bad, it’s preventing the bad from getting worse.” Andy Gilman
How do you prepare for days that you hope will never come?
Uncertainty is an inevitability, and these are uncertain times. Preparing your business and your employees to adapt during a crisis is necessary, and it doesn’t have to be difficult.
So how do you take a bad situation and stop it from getting worse?
Mark Hoffman a crisis communication and business continuity expert joins me to talk about preparing for, navigating through, and assessing business responses to a crisis. From a devastating cyber attack to a worldwide pandemic identifying key players and solidifying a response agenda will help prepare you.
It’s not too late to work on a crisis communication plan for your business, you can create your plan from where you are at right now.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How do you prepare for the unknown
- Identifying key players
- What is a response agenda
- The importance of communication
- Stress is inevitable - do this
- Why side-conversations can be toxic
- Don’t be a lemming - all players should have an equal voice
- Nuance is an important factor
- There will be an emotional and social component
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Contact Mark Hoffman
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Manipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse.
In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms of shifting blame (some, may surprise you) and what you can do about it when they try these tactics on YOU.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is Blame-Shifting
- The Manipulative tactics in action
- How a victim might be shifting the blame on you
- Why minimizing you is on the menu
- How quickly a toxic workplace can be created
- What you should never do
- What you should do when blame is shifted onto you
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Hilarious Word Salad Video
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by Hailey Moeller on Unsplash
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Happiness and Joy can be found in the most difficult of situations. In today’s episode, Maja and I dive Into finding the good in a difficult situation, being inspired by one another and defining what we want our future to be.
“I’ve been through a Genocide & a Pandemic and didn’t even get a T-shirt”
Maja Kazazic is back on the show to talk about finding the good, in a bad situation. As a Genocide survivor, a successful businesswoman and an inspirational speaker, she has a unique and uplifting perspective about hard things.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- The power of “WE”
- Leadership now
- Change and Uncertainty
- Vulnerability is the new strength
- The power of working together
- How selfishness becomes obvious and unacceptable
- What’s next
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara:
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Genocide Perspective & Hope with Maja Kazazic Part 1
Part 2
Maja Kazazic Pandemic Blog
Company of One - Paul Jarvis
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
It might escape notice, slip right under your radar like a birthday of a distant relative and yet it impacts every one of us from Queen’s to service workers. Stress & anxiety has many faces and often escape notice until a full-blown reaction surfaces.
What can you do about it, especially during difficult times? Be on the lookout for these clues. Like a leaky pipe, these are clues, an early warning sign of more pressing emotions that are bubbling right below the surface.
It’s not a matter of IF you will experience these things, but WHEN. In this episode, we dive into how to identify the signs and what to do about them.
For yourself and for those around you.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Stress & Anxiety go hand in hand like peanut butter & jelly
- Not if, but when
- How to tune into your body
- Ways to identify stress in others
- How to break free from circular thinking
- Lara has some surprises for you!
- The impact of community
Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group “Community Happens Group”
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
This was the conversation we should all be having.
There is a “new leadership” model that is emerging right now. One that is more humanistic, open and vulnerable. These uncertain times, the change we are experiencing, and the resulting anxiety, fear, and grief that is pervasive have sparked a new ‘communication mode’.
That is a good thing.
Molly McPherson of Confident Communications and I dive into how much communication, messaging, and the work that we do has changed in the past few weeks. What has changed and what that means for us, and so much more.
As a world we have a lot to grieve over right now, kids who are missing their last year of primary school, grieving the loss of how things were - being able to see and check up on family & friends, or the loss of a loved one. Along with that
being selfish (say as in hoarding supplies) became universally abhorrent overnight.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Accountability is the new black
- Honest and open vulnerability inspires trust
- How fear shows up in the time of Covid
- What does Leadership look like in a pandemic
- Why leaders are looking inward, to their staff
- April Fools day was No Joke
- How your senses are triggered
- Covid Crisis response kit
- Humanistic leadership
- How to be of service in a pandemic
- Why we are grieving
- Isolation and it’s impact
- Visiting during social isolating
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Calming Client Fears Free Webinar
Company of One - Paul Jarvis
Seattle Freeze
The Mind of Bill Gates
Amber Hawley - Couples Fix
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
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It is a super strange time that we are in right now. Things are changing by the hour. One thing is certain, during a Pandemic, there will be some uncertainty.
In today’s episode, I dive into how people react, why they react a certain way and what you can do to connect, communicate and understand one another without risk of starting a conflict.
Stress, anxiety, and fear look different in different people. From a Laissez-faire attitude to shut down, from overly-informed to the conspiracy theorist, reactions that seem opposite to one another all have their root in uncertainty.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- Why someone has a laissez-faire attitude
- What anxiety looks like
- How fear shows up in our day to day interactions
- How your senses are triggered
- Ways to cope with uncertainty
- How to inspire confidence
- Tuning into your body
- Your senses and how they can help you
- Long breaths and calm
- Your body is the key
- Do what works for you
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
Calming Client Fears Free Webinar
© Lara Currie 2020
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Episode Photo by Irina on Unsplash
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Summary:
Oh-No she didn’t!
It doesn’t matter who you are; mother Theresa, Oprah Winfrey, my Mom, you get mad.
Not like ‘teenager forbidden to date a boy’ type mad - that’s a singular type of rage, more like a ‘defend your honor, correct a falsehood, shut down a misogynist’ type anger. Which can be a bad look for a professional.
We are whole human beings, and anger is part of life and it has its purpose. Once you are angry, and before you vent that anger onto others, there is a simple and extremely effective method you can use to calm down.
This method is so effective it is used by the military, medical, and mental health fields alike. And now you can use it too.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- How Anger impacts you physically
- Your senses and how they can help you
- What is the 5-4-3-2-1 method?
- Long breaths and calm
- Shame & anger, two sides of the same coin
- Your body is the key
- What works for you
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Image Photo by Faye Cornish on Unsplash
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Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood, jerks and rude behavior really get’s under your skin?
Covid 19, a busy work schedule, travel restrictions, and perimenopause have Lara in a Bad Mood. So off to the Gym I go. Moving your body is a great way to blow off some steam, usually…
Today at the Gym, my bad mood was exacerbated by Jerks. A jerk who was wearing combat boots and his full workout gear in the steam room, (the rest of us were in swimsuits). A jerk watching YouTube on her phone loudly… without headphones. I am right next to you trying to read and enjoy my phoned-in workout.
And what in the world is with the Gum?
Perfume, leaving weights and towels on the floor, grunting and dropping weights, it’s enough to make Jack Lelaine kick sand in their face (google it - totally worth it).
So how do get out of this funk and shake off the rude behavior at the gym? The same way you can when those cringe-worthy behaviors creep into your world.
Tune in and check it out.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is going on in the world today
- Social contracts
- Covid 19, travel and work in this new world order
- Life from the outside in
- Gum, no...just no
- Gramma Tiny has something to say
- The point of anger
- Turning the mind
- Mindset & context
- Let’s play make-believe
- Life is life, and bad moods are normal
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Episode Image Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash
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Dysfunctional communication, incivility, and bad behavior impact us all. Taking your power back and building strong boundaries is easier than you think.
This is why I podcast. To raise awareness of dysfunctional communication styles and how to combat them. To raise awareness of boundary breaches that take your power away from you. To raise awareness of the physical impact that conflict, incivility, and negativity has on you.
By some accounts, 89% of Americans were raised in dysfunction which leads to dysfunctional communication styles that end up impacting you every day.
This is WHY the Difficult Happens podcast is here, to help you navigate these everyday interactions.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is dysfunction
- How dysfunction plays in the way we communicate
- Incivility is on the rise
- What to do about bad behavior
- Everything is a spectrum
- Bad behavior and negativity
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
Series on Assessments
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Summary:
“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them” Mark Twain
Gossip, griping, negativity, seems to be everywhere right now. Dysfunctional, passive-aggressive manipulative behavior becomes the norm, not the exception.
So what do you do about it? How do you respond when those around you are being a Debbie downer sucking all the joy out of the day?
Want to know how to respond to all the negativity, dysfunction and marginal behavior? I’ve got you.
What you’ll hear on today’s episode:
- What is dysfunction
- Denial and what it looks like
- What to do when people are gossiping
- When someone seems to by marginal
- Everything is a spectrum
- Bad behavior and negativity
- Socially dysfunctional
- Sadness and hurt around you
- Right fighting
- Coaching your friends - when and when not to
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Series on Manipulation
A More Beautiful Question
© Lara Currie 2020
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
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Summary:
“Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.” Joseph Campbell
I’m rubber your glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you.
This schoolyard taunt trickled into my brain this week when someone was projecting her own stuff onto me.
Has this ever happened to you?
Someone accuses you of feeling a certain way when you don’t, or assumes you think a certain way when that’s not how you think?
Neuroscience reveals that the subconscious mind, which is an information processor one million times more powerful than the conscious mind, is running our behavior 95-99% of the time, your actions and reactions are automatic.
That means that when someone is projecting their shame, anger or fear onto you, they most likely aren’t aware of it.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- What is projection
- What are the different types of projection
- What to do when someone is placing judgment on you
- Why when someone blames you, it’s about them
- Social Constructs
- Social order
- Conforming
- How to live with less stress
- Tuning in to your body when under pressure
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Fan Incident - I Know you are but what am I
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by Kat J on Unsplash
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Summary:
When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!
One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’.
Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp?
One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”
It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.)
There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.
Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- What is Magical Speaking
- How words are used to ‘gaslight’ someone
- What to do when someone is talking in circles
- How manipulators obfuscate the truth
- What to do when anger is used against you
- Examples of magical speaking in real life (Depp, Heard)
- 6 tactics manipulators use, along with words, to control your reactions
- What self-love has to do with it
- Why you should ignore the ‘implied’ and speak to the words instead
- The emotional toll of manipulation
- How your triggers play in
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
“When you can be strong alone, you will be stronger together.”
It can feel like you have to choose between a successful career and a successful relationship, especially in this modern age where the line between a high functioning person, a real go-getter and a workaholic can get blurred.
But you don't have to!
Amber Hawley spent most of her career helping high-achieving couples in silicon valley. As a licensed therapist she understands the particular struggles and demands of this modern landscape. For over 20 years she has been helping passionate, striving high achieving couples reconnect and rekindle their relationships and she is here today to share her wisdom.
In today’s episode, we talk about masculine and feminine energy, the line between striving and avoiding, the clues that your relationship may be in trouble and what ONE thing you can do right now to make your relationship better.
Join us as we take a look at all this, and how ADHD, perfectionism and high achievement go together.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Why strong women may struggle in relationships
- Societies fear of masculine energy in women
- What does it mean to be high achieving
- High functioning, high achieving, the go-getter, a rose by any other name
- What does ADHD have to do with it?
- The “balance” backlash
- When overwhelm warns you
- Are you a workaholic?
- How to communicate when Communication goes out of the window
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources / mentioned in the show:
Peter Pumpkinhead
Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Couples Fix Amber Hawley
My Biz Bestie
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Summary:
“Not Making a choice is a choice.”
When is the right time to make a change?
Change happens in a moment, a moment when the status quo, the way things have always been, becomes intolerable.
Saying yes when you really mean no.
When you openly give and they take more.
These are the tiny boundary over-reaches that create a crack, a crack that manipulative or selfish people will use to exploit.
When a relationship or a pattern of behavior becomes too painful to tolerate, when it hurts to stay where you are, these are the moments that push us to make a drastic change.
This tipping point propels you into action, it emboldens you to make the changes that are right for you. Your Fear takes a back seat and you make the jump.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Where Real Change Happens
- How a boundary overstep impacts you
- Why we need a tipping point
- This far no further
- The shifting of a mindset
- Trigger Season
- A time for re-birth
- Don’t fall for the shoulda - coulda - woulda spiral
- Your subconscious and its power
- Building resilience
- How experiences feel personal and professional growth
- Those who embrace change and those who avoid it
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Star Trek - Jean Luke Piccard “This far no farther”
Big Bang Theory
How Micro-Managing Let to a Toxic work environment [Case study]
Boundaries and the Extinction Burst Behavior
Columbo - (this far no farther) The Conspirators
The Tipping Point
Secret Gift in Every Emotion
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Summary:
“You are a master to the words you don’t say and a slave to the ones you do.”
Touchy conversations can be a minefield to navigate, so how do you decide what to say and when to say it?
Sometimes we respond out of habit, without thinking through what we are saying. What we choose to say, and when we choose to say it has everything to do with our experiences, our expectations, and our assumptions.
And You know what my Dad used to say about AssUmptions?...
In this episode, we take a look at 5 things to STOP saying, and what you should say instead. As a BONUS, I tell you how to turn the conversation around when these words or phrases are being used “AT” you, so you will know what to say when your buttons are pushed.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Stop Shoulding on yourself
- Always is a word that is Never true - the use of Emphaticals in conversation
- I hear what you are saying BUT… How the word but is really a dismissal
- It has always been done this way - and other useless phrases
- How you hear is just as important as how you speak
- Excuses, excuses and other things we don’t care about
- Why his Drama is an inconvenience
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens; How Triggers Boundaries & Emotions Impact YOU Every day by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
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Summary:
“My best successes came on the heels of failures.”
― Barbara Corcoran
What makes a Great Leader?
Sometimes the greatest leaders that impact our lives are not in the traditional leadership role.
Mentors, leaders, those who influence you and your life can come from anywhere.
True leadership cannot be taught, it must be practiced.
In today’s episode, we take a look at how things have changed for women, how the different generations view leadership and some tough choices that we both made along the way that has impacted our lives. Carol Cox of Speaking your Brand joins me in the podcast studio to talk about influence, leadership, why she chose to take her popular Facebook Group off of the Facebook platform and much more.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Change that you chose, and change that you didn’t
- Why women in different generations are so different from one another
- Womens voices need to be heard
- Is Facebook over?
- The time of the mega-church mentality is coming to an end
- Feminism
- How we lift each other up
- Why having a mentor, of any sex, is important
- Advertising is ruining everything
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Carol Cox
Speaking Your Brand
The Good, Good, Good
Women in Business: Building an Action Plan
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Summary:
“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”
― Joyce Meyer
What do you do about a Jerk?
You can’t avoid coming across one. You may even have one in your office, social group or sphere of influence. Jerky behavior is unavoidable and does not discriminate on who it inflicts. Men, women, young and old, jerks come in all shapes and sizes.
What makes a jerk a jerk?
It’s in their snide reactionary behavior. They are negative, and often angry and cynical and are looking for an outlet, somewhere to share these negative feelings, and if you are in their way, like the Eye of Sauron, when a jerk focuses on you and spews their vitriol it’s not pleasant.
Don’t let them steal your sunshine, arm yourself with these 3 things you can do when you are dealing with a jerk.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- The Jerk
- The intentional Jerk
- The unintentional Jerky behavior
- Why it is about them, not you
- Are there more jerks now than ever?
- How negativity creates jerky behavior
- What three things you can do to protect yourself from a Jerk
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Steal My Sunshine - Len
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“Negative people have a problem for every solution.”
― Albert Einstein
It’s the little things that create a weak spot in your boundaries, and this weak spot creates a tear that manipulative people will exploit.
Manipulators don’t wear name tags, they hide in plain sight and one person's toxic boss is another persons’ motivating mentor. So how can you tell the difference?
In this episode, we explore 5 phrases to be on the lookout for that manipulators use that will cause you to doubt yourself.
Toxic people, incivility, bad behavior, tyrants, bully’s, and entitlement. Bad behavior is on the rise. This episode will help you protect yourself.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Is incivility and bad behavior on the rise?
- Toxic people and how they can hide
- What to watch out for with a manipulator
- How manipulators assault your boundaries
- Why toxic people use these phrases
- Why are these phrases a warning sign?
- What your body has to do with it
- How manipulators assault your self-esteem
- For a manipulator, it’s all about them
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
“Don’t you know who I am?” How to stay sane in an era of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility.” Durvasula Ph.D, Ramani S.
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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
― Albert Einstein
In this year-end episode, Amee Quiriconi of the One Broken Mom Podcast joins me to talk about endings and beginnings.
Change is an inevitability in this world. Sometimes the change is something we choose such as ending a relationship or a job, and sometimes the change is thrust on us, like a relationship ending or losing a job.
When things end, whether we chose the end or not, there is a lot that you can learn about yourself, what you want more of in your life, and what you want less of.
Reflection helps you not only see things in a different way but allows you to learn the lesson you need to from a situation.
When you know what you want, you have a clearer direction and can make better choices for your new beginnings!
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Change that you chose, and change that you didn’t
- Change in your personal life & change at work
- Endings, the gift that keeps on giving
- The pain that change often causes
- The growth that endings, change, gives us
- How knowing what you don’t want helps you focus on what you do
- How reflection, considering something deeply leads to personal-growth
- Some personal stories of endings and beginnings that Lara & Amee have had
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
Amee Quiriconi One Broken Mom Podcast
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The Away travel brand went from a fast-growing popular brand to the epitome of the new toxic work environment leading to one of the CEO’s & co-founder stepping down.
A workplace can become toxic by inches, like a lobster boiling in a pot of water, before you know it the environment has taken it’s toll mentally & physically.
In this episode, we take a look at the toxicity that Away’s CEO Steph Korey’s micro-managing created, and the way the companies ‘values’ were used to manipulate its employees into working underpaid hours in difficult conditions.
This is the first case study where we break down the toxic work environment, how it happened, and what could have been done differently.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- The Away company was a toxic workplace
- How the employees were manipulated
- How Micro-managing impacted the environment
- How a companies Mission Vision & Values was used against staff
- The use of SLACK as the only means of communication and how that impacted communication
- Bullying with a smile
- How public shaming was used to keep employees in line.
- What was done right
- What went wrong
- How fear isolated individuals
- How loyalty was used to manipulate
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Sources:
Here’s the leaked memo in which Away tells employees not to fave The Verge’s investigation
Former Away employees describe a toxic work environment at the luggage company
Away Warns Employees Not to 'Like' or 'Fave' Article Detailing Execs' Psycho Behavior
Away's CEO Resigned Over a Toxic Workplace Due in Part to the Company's Use of Slack
New Away leaks reveal employees worked without heat, struggled with headaches and nausea
Resources:
The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
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Summary:
It started at a neighborhood wine bar and ended on amazon prime.
Your personal values, along with the social norms of the time dictate what you find embarrassing or shameful but those social norms can change with the times, situation and community you are in.
While out at a wine bar with friends I got some unsolicited advice from a stranger. The interaction has stuck with me for several reasons. In this episode, I share what happened while chatting with some strangers, why it got me thinking about that old playground taunt “I know you are but what am I”, and how you may see things differently when talking with someone from a different context than you.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- What Context is
- How Context impacts your perception
- How the values of a group can grow and change over time
- Why we show people what we value, sometimes through judgment
- How our word choices can clue you into what we value
- How the stories we believe about ourselves impact discourse
- The need to belong & how it drives us
- The cultural silence around health issues specific to women
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation
I know you are but what am I?
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by Mark Malekela on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Have you ever noticed that procrastination goes hand in hand with pressure?
Whether it is the pressure that came first or the procrastination that leads to the pressure, they go hand in hand.
Everyone procrastinates from time to time, it’s perfectly normal. Until it’s a problem. When that procrastination leads to missed opportunities, loss of revenue or worse, it can keep you stuck in the cycle of pressure, procrastination, stress, shame, rinse repeat
Procrastination can be confusing, it has many faces, from the busy work of productive-procrastination to the frozen effect of procrastination paralysis. If you find yourself stuck or heading into procrastination’ville, I’ve got some tried and true skills to get you unstuck.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- What procrastination looks like
- How stress affects procrastination
- The many faces of procrastination
- What perfectionism has to do with it
- How stress plays into perfectionism
- Why some people can handle (are more used to) stress
- The many faces of procrastination
- The perfectionist procrastination connection
- Productive procrastination
- Productivity paralysis
- The Pomodoro Method
Join the Masterclass
The Perfection Principle - From Awareness to Action
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Image for episode graphic Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Summary: Shorter days, colder nights and seasonal celebrations abound, welcome to trigger-season.
This is the season of gathering & celebrating. There are family functions, social get-togethers, and work parties to attend.
Along with that, there are inevitable assumptions about how everything will turn out and expectations of how we want things to go.
To go into this season prepared we here at Difficult Happens have you covered, in this week’s episode I give you concrete steps that you can take to prepare for and navigate through, this trigger-season.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- How the holidays & weather impact interactions
- Why winter is “trigger-season”
- Our conscious & subconscious brains in action
- Family conversations & expectations
- The work party a petre dish of awkward conversations
- The conflict loop
- What assumptions, judgments, expectations, and reactions have to do with your communication
- How our family of origin informs our triggers
- What a triggered reaction is
- What to do before during and after this season
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
How to Combat Manipulative Behavior
Mentioned in this episode:
Podcast Series on Manipulation
Perfectionist Principle Masterclass
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How do you find gratitude when you have a bad attitude?
As whole human beings, we experience a range of emotions every day, some are good, and some we think of as bad. So how do you practice gratitude when you just don’t feel like it, that is the topic of today’s episode.
We tell ourselves stories about ourselves to ourselves, about situations and experiences and what those stories mean to us. Those stories become a self-fulfilling prophecy, that by just believing in them, make them true.
When you practice gratitude, in whatever way works for you, you will be a happier healthier person.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- How the stories we tell ourselves create our reality
- How to have a clinicians attitude
- How to reframe to turn your mind
- How gratitude changes your mood
- Have to versus get to
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
Mentioned in this episode:
Brene Brown
James Wedmore
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
How to get over it Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it can be hard to move past it.
On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace.
You can’t control the fact that other people’s actions will impact you, but you can control what you do about it.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- How you are impacted by others’ actions
- The difference between fault and responsibility
- What your reactions mean
- How you can ‘turn your mind’ about hard things
- How taking responsibility empowers you
- What the four agreements are
- How to use the four agreements
- Time frames for moving on, yours and other peoples
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
Mentioned in this episode:
Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Preditors
Will Smith; Fault vs Responsibility
Super Soul Sunday with Malcolm Gladwell
The Four Agreements
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
If you are a Perfectionist or have the Disease to Please, your very environment can trigger you.
www.difficulthappens.com We have unconscious reactions all day long, ones that we aren’t aware of and yet they impact us in ways that will surprise you. Your subconscious is in control of your actions and reactions 99% of the time so it’s no surprise that it takes a strong reaction or reason to take a mindful look at why we respond in a certain way.
Don’t wait for a conflict to identify yours.
When you shine the light on triggered reactions, where the ‘action’ of any interaction happens, you can respond with purpose.
Break free from the pull of perfectionism join me today and discover how to identify your triggered reactions.
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- Where ‘difficult’ stuff comes from
- The trap of perfectionism
- The disease to please
- What a triggered reaction is
- What an environmental trigger is
- How to identify your environmental triggers
- Becoming who we were meant to be
- Don’t ‘should’ on yourself
- Why my sister passed out in Geology 101
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Training
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Your Conflict Personality Type
Assessments in all their glory
29 Why your subconscious is the REAL boss
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone
Perfectionism is a trap that can keep you frozen in inaction or frenzied in productive procrastination.
This perfectionist trap can trigger feelings that lead you down the road to a fight, flight, freeze or appease reaction and start you on that familiar hampster wheel of emotions which impacts the way you feel, act, and react.
In today’s episode dive into recognizing one of the things that can trigger you, how you identify it and what you can do about it.
Want to break free from this trap? Tune in and get out from under the stress of perfectionism
What you’ll hear in this podcast:
- How perfectionism impacts you
- What an emotional desire path is
- What a triggered reaction is
- How to identify when you have been triggered
- What an emotional or feeling trigger is
- How triggered reactions can be positive ones
- How to identify your triggers
- How to break free from the stress
Work with Lara
Apply for an On-air Coaching Call!
Free Breakthrough Assessment
Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com
Corporate Trainings
Difficult Happens by Lara Currie
Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/
Resources:
The Neurobiology of Sentence Comprehension
The Conflict Personality-Types
College Campus Desire Paths
How the Brain Decodes Sentences
The Secret Gift in Every Emotion
Show Intro music is Whispering Through by Asura
Listen for free on the go with any one of these players for both Android & iPhone