Together. A Podcast About Relationships: Recent Episodes
Erik Newton and Together.Guide
We all know relationships takes work, but what is that work, and how do we do it? Reformed divorce lawyer Erik Newton explores these questions and many more in a series of intimate and honest interviews with real couples.
Our guest today is Andy Horning from the Elephant Talk podcast. Andy is a fascinating guy – he's two kids and over 13 years into his second marriage, he's been a couple's therapist for more than 15 years, and he's a course leader for the Hoffman Institute. In this episode we talk about everything from pain and loss to how your relationship is your greatest meditation. If you'd like to learn more about Andy, you can find him at his website: https://www.elephanttalk.org/ – definitely check out his podcast. If you love Together, you'll love Elephant Talk. If you'd like to support our program, you can do that at patreon.com/together. Thank you! If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
My personal twitter handle is @newtonlaw,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
The show is produced & edited by Charlene Goto with Go-To Productions.
First some updates:
- Aubrie and I eloped on New Years day! (Details inclusive).
- I’m now the COO of a software startup in San Francisco (Urbit.org). Loving this!
- This might be the last season of Together. We’ll figure it out as we go!
Now to our guests!
Linda and Charlie Bloom have been a mainstay of the relationship seminar business for decades, but the seminar experience almost ruined their marriage. We get to hear how they managed and what they learned. It’s a fun episode with a very sweet couple. Let me know what you think!
If you’d like to learn more about Charlie and Linda Bloom, you can find their website at http://bloomwork.com/
Their latest book, That Which Doesn’t Kill Us, is available on their website, and of course at Amazon.
If you want to support our program, you can do that at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
My personal twitter handle is @newtonlaw,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Show is produced & edited by Charlene Goto with Go-To Productions
Today’s Episode – number 131 – is the last episode of season two, which means we’re off for the summer! We’ll be back in September with more interviews!
Our guest today, Rachel Dwight is a self described super fat, queer, transgender, disabled superhero. And I’ll add that they’re a force of nature as well! We discuss all of those identities, and we cover a fundamental truth we should all internalize: everyone is entitled to pleasure, no matter their body type.
Check out Rachel’s amazing blog: theBadAssFatAss.com. You can also support Rachel’s work at their patreon page here: https://www.patreon.com/BadassFatass
In other news, I’ve agreed to take on a very small number of couples to help them prepare for long term commitment. I don't have a lot of spaces for this, but if you’d like to hear more about that program, reach out to me via email, or the contact page on our website.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Today’s conversation is about shame and how we can use it to explore the darker corners of our relationships. Our guests today, Megan and Brave have done some very useful work in this area - and specifically on what they refer to as “male shame.” Listen in to hear what they mean by that!
I’ve you’d like to learn more about Megan and Brave, check out their website: https://www.thealchemyofwe.com/ - these two do some fantastic relationship coaching both on the individual and group levels, so check it out.
We’ve only got one more episodes in season two of Together, and then I’m taking a break. More about changes and upcoming improvements to the show in that last episode, so stay tuned.
Don’t forget to check out our sponsors today: The Date/Able podcast. You can find them at dateablepodcast.com.
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Today's episode is about a couple you would never expect might have a secret life. Penn and Page, our guests today, grew up Catholic, married young, had six kids, and were perfectly content living a predictable life, until one day Penn had an idea...
If you’d like to learn more about Penn and Page, you can find their podcast - Swinger Diaries on iTunes or any podcast player, and you can find their website at https://swingerdiaries.wordpress.com/
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
A cultural conversation has been simmering recently about the concept of emotional labor. It’s a critical conversation to our relationships, but not many of us know what it means. Today on the podcast, we learn all about what it is, and what to do about it from our guests, Gemma and Rob Hartley.
Gemma is a well known journalist, and recently wrote an article for Harpers about emotional labor that went viral. To learn more about Gemma and her writings, check out her website: gemmahartley.com. She has a forthcoming book about emotional labor due out in the fall of 2018. You find information about the book on her site.
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together.
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, or email me at host@together.guide.
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Our guest today - Iris McAlpin is a survivor of multiple experiences with sexual abuse, and having recovered from those, she has some unique ideas about how we all should be relating to the perpetrators of these kind of abuses. She also has quite a bit too say about the healing process that’s available to all of us after abuse.
If you’d like to learn more about Iris and her programs, you can find her website at: http://irismcalpin.com - I’ll put links to that in our show notes as well.
Don’t forget about our sponsors for today’s show, Zola.com - for a $50 credit towards your registry, go to zola.com/couples.
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Our guests today, Ned and Dorcas share a story about a depression that lasted nearly five years. They not only survived that depression as a couple, but built a massively successful company during that time and started a family that’s thriving. This episode is about the tools they used to manage.
Dorcas has written a book about the experience called: START, LOVE, REPEAT - How to Stay in Love with Your Entrepreneur in a Crazy Start-up World. You can find out more about Dorcas at her website: https://www.chengtozun.com/. You can learn about Ned's company at their website: http://www.dlight.com/.
Don't forget to check out our sponsors for this episode, and if you'd like to claim a $50 credit towards your wedding registry, visit their site at: Zola.com/couples
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
The title of this episode says what’s it’s about: rape and reconciliation. If rape is a topic you find difficult to hear about, you might want to take it easy with this episode.
But know that this story is also about reconciliation. It’s about the healing process that’s available to all of us.
Megan Flamer, our guest today is a mindfulness trainer and former broadcast journalist. She works on projects that marry human behavior, communication and tech. She creates retreats all over the world with Shiny Happy Healthy and runs corporate trainings with Mindful Under Fire.
If you liked what you heard today, please subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.
Our guest today, Nenna Joiner, is an African American Lesbian porn producer and sex shop owner in downtown Oakland. Our conversation ranges all over the sex universe from impotence, to getting on your knees in church and in sex, to whether Lesbians are the new gay men, to - of course - toys and porn.
If you’d like to find Nenna online or meet her in person, she’s often at her shop, Feelmore in Oakland. You can find their website at: https://feelmore510.com/
If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together
If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media.
Our facebook page is facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show,
And you can always email me at host@together.guide
We are community. We are our friends and family, and we cannot know ourselves without them.
Today’s episode kicks of the first of several stories on the topic of pornography.
Today, we’re hearing from Nate and Angilyn. Nate is the founder of a website and a podcast about marriage called First7Years.com. He’s also done a lovely TedX talk about love. He and Angilyn are both lifelong Mormons. They were both raised to believe that porn was inherently evil. They have a different view about it now, but I’ll let them tell the story.
In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a one minute survey to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
The music on today’s episode was provided courtesy of Blue Dot Sessions. You can find them at sessions.blue
The thing about the choice to stay or to go in any given relationship, is that we can never know what might have been. There’s no control group to test against for happiness in our life choices. We only know what’s right here, right now.
Our guests this week – Thomas and Lauren – are facing that question of choice. How do you know when it’s right, and how do you know when it’s wrong? In some sense, you can’t know - you just have to take action.
In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a one minute survey to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
The music on today’s episode was provided courtesy of Squire Tuck. You can find him at https://soundcloud.com/squier-tuck
Our episode today is about the unpredictable results of difficult conversations. There’s gold in those hills if you have the courage to dig.
Our guests today are avid prospectors, and they have a lot to teach us about the process of emotional inquiry.
If you’d like to learn more about Bob, you can find his website at: http://bobschwenkler.com/
You can find Natalie and her new podcast, Taboo and Turn On at: http://natalievartanian.com/
In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a quick survey to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
Last week during our interview with Michael and Sara, you may remember they told us about a therapist they had worked with over Skype named Al Turtle. Well I reached out to Al, and today we’ve got him on the show!
It was a long interview. The portion of the conversation we’re playing focuses mostly on a specific debate: is all the inquiry into childhood trauma really necessary, or should we focus instead on behavior? Al’s answer is a good one. Listen in to find out what he says.
You can find Al and all his writings at http://www.alturtle.com/
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
Every once in awhile you're going to hear yourself say the words: "I hate you" to the one you love. Not that we're encouraging it, but let's just normalize the fact that sometimes, anger and frustration bubble over into something we're not proud of.
Today's episode is about learning from those feelings, and moving forward. Our guests today, Michael and Sara have a lot to say on the topic, and their story is an inspiring one -- but I'll let them tell it rather than rewrite it here.
You can find the book Michael wrote following their breakup, Left Alone To Learn here: http://amzn.to/2yiEW1c; His book The Love Metric is also available on Amazon, and they're both fantastic.
Here's a link to the article I wrote on this topic of hate (which I mention in the episode): http://together.guide/ever-hate-partner-heres/
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
So long as we’re stuck on an internal idea of perfection, we can never fully experience the magic of what’s right before our eyes. That's why searching for one's "type," or the "perfect match" can be such a dead end.
Our guests today, Jo and Nick–understand this better than most, and share with us their insights about how to be in the relationship you actually have.
Jo Piazza is an author with six very popular titles under her belt, and she’s also a rather well loved travel journalist. Most recently she wrote a book called How To Be Married, which is a collection of advice from women all over the world about how to survive the first year of marriage. It’s a delightful read, and very much worth your time. Nick is a journalist as well, and he runs a website called triplepundit.com.
Here's a link to the article I wrote on this topic of the ideal mate (which I mention in the episode): http://together.guide/good-news-your-ideal-mate-does-not-exist/
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
Successful couples seem to have an instinct about where to find those moments of giggly surrender that are so effective at helping us all drop the drama and reconnect. This skill is absolutely learnable. It’s not a matter of luck, it’s a matter of practice.
Ryan and Jordana, are guests this week, are are exceptionally talented in the area of simple fun. They’re both musicians in addition to their other passions (it’s their music played throughout this episode), and their playfulness comes pouring in the music and countless other ways.
There’s a lot to listen for in this episode, but I suggest you keep one ear open for how these two cultivate their balance between work and play.
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or on Instagram @together_show.
We need philosophers and the rigor they bring to the discussions that inform our daily lives. It's critical–particularly in our current political climate–for all of us to consider what we mean by the words we use and the concepts we refer to.
So what about love? What does that mean, really?
To ask that question properly (but never entirely answer it), we turn to Dr. Carrie Jenkins, Professor of Philosophy at the University of British Columbia, and a Professor at the Northern Institute of Philosophy, University of Aberdeen. Dr. Jenkins just released a book called: What Love Is And What It Could Be. It’s a delightful read, and I highly suggest you pick it up.
You can find Dr. Jenkin’s personal website at Carriejenkins.com.
If you like what you’ve heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
The music on our show today is from Blue Dot Sessions, and you can them at sessions.blue
Money and sex–last week I claimed that these are the two most direct access points to our unconscious selves, and so we focused on a story about sexual trauma. This week, it’s a story–at least partly–about money.
The identity shift is a common reason for breakups that we often hear about. We’re all human, and so inevitably we change. Our relationships need to change as well, or they become stale and hold us back. But it's never easy, and couples are in the constant process of managing all this change; it’s one of the most important skills we all need to cultivate.
Which brings us to our guests today: Paul and Sarah. These two are in the midst of a series of major life changes, and they haven't quite found their way through yet. Their relationship remains solid, but it's facing the stress of these changes, and we get an inside peak into how they're managing it.
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together.
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, on Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
Our episode today is about sex and awakening. Sex can trigger our deepest challenges, and our most exalted selves. Whatever the reason, exploring our sexuality is one of our greatest opportunities for personal growth, if we allow it to be.
But it's scary. Sure, the sex itself is fun, but we don't like trauma it can unearth. We resist fear as humans, and for good reason: it's how we survive. On the other hand, this exploration is where the greatest of adventures lies. This is how we can finally truly know ourselves. Why not live fully expressed if it’s possible?
Our guest today–Jessica Graham–does just that. Jessica is an author, a well loved meditation teacher, and also a film actor. In her writing and meditation work, she inhabits that space where sexuality and spirituality overlap, and guiding us all through that space is her great gift.
In this episode with deal with sexuality and sexual trauma, so if you’re easily triggered by conversations of this nature, you might want to take it easy with this episode.
You can find Jessica at her website: http://meditationwithjessica.com/ - Her forthcoming book: Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Outis now available for pre-order from North Atlantic Books, and distributed by Penguin-Random House.
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're Back! Today's episode is the first episode of Season 2!
Our story today has many layers, but at it's core it's about sexual identity and the value of story itself. Rasmus and Michel–two men who had never considered anything other than heterosexual relationships–met on a dance floor in the middle of the desert, and... well, you'll have to listen in to find out what happens.
The deeper issue is how we all use narrative to experience our lives–it's the stories we tell ourselves that give us that give definition to our truth. Understanding this fact of the human experience is one of the most important tools we have in making our relationships work. Michel and Rasmus are masters of the art.
If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a subscriber. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our website, or at patreon.com/together
Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're still on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine.
I wrote today’s essay, as part of a forthcoming book I'm working on, so it hasn't been published anywhere in written form. I'm going to keep it that way for a while.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're still on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine.
Today's essay is called Why The Best Daters Are Divorced. I wrote this one last year based on experiences from my time as a divorce lawyer. Dating after divorce is not only possible, it's a joy–hear me out on this one!
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine.
I wrote today’s essay, after thinking about the following quotations:
“In the end, reconciliation is a spiritual process, which requires more than just a legal framework. It has to happen in the hearts and minds of people.”
– Nelson Mandela
“Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.”
– Winston S. Churchill
The essay is called Logical Arguments vs. Tribal Decisions. This is my first public writing on any aspect of politics, and I'd love your feedback.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
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We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays – usually those we publish at Together Magazine.
I wrote today’s essay, after thinking about the following quotations:
“In the end, reconciliation is a spiritual process, which requires more than just a legal framework. It has to happen in the hearts and minds of people.”
– Nelson Mandela
“Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others.”
– Winston S. Churchill
The essay is called Logical Arguments vs. Tribal Decisions. This is my first public writing on any aspect of politics, and I'd love your feedback.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
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We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called How Wild Sexual Exploration Made Me A Better Woman, as read by the author, Lucy Gillespie.
Lucy Gillespie is an Anglo-American screenwriter, producer, and essayist based in NYC. She is the managing editor of Frenchly. Her original series Unicornland, about a woman who explores her sexuality by dating couples, premieres on Valentine’s Day. Follow on social media at @unicornwithus. Lucy and her Fiancé have also been featured in an episode of our Podcast.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called How Mindfulness Killed My Sex Life.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you'd like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We’re on break! We’re taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we’re reading essays that we’ve published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage, Part 4.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you’d like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram@together_sh
We’re on break! We’re taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we’re reading essays that we’ve published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage, Part 3.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you’d like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram@together_show.
We’re on break! We’re taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we’re reading essays that we’ve published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage, Part 2.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you’d like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram@together_show.
We’re on break! We’re taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we’re reading essays that we’ve published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called Ever Hate Your Partner? Here's Why.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for what you’d like to see in our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We’re on break! We’re taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the The Together Show. In the meantime, we’re reading essays that we’ve published at Together Magazine.
Today’s Article is called The Divorce Lawyer's Guide To Marriage, Part 1.
Please don’t be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide. Or contact us on our Facebook page, Twitter or on Instagram @together_show.
We're on break! We're taking a little time to catch our breath and refresh the format of the show. In the meantime, we're reading essays that we've published at Together Magazine.
Today's story is called Dear Single Person: You're Doing Nothing Wrong.
Please don't be shy about letting us know if you have any ideas for our next iteration. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at host@together.guide
The website is www.together.show
Facebook is www.facebook.com/togethershow
Twitter and instagram are both @together_show
Today’s episode is about finding perfection in the good enough.
We all know that nobody is perfect, and we all know that our partners can't possibly live up to our internal expectations. Yet we're always hunting for the perfect partner even though we know that hunt is a dead-end; it leads not to satisfaction, but to more searching in a never-ending cycle.
Today's guests – Tejal and Chirag – have put that cycle to rest. Our episode today is about how they did that
Tejal is founder of online training program, The Mindful Mama Experience, and contributing author to Amazon best-selling book, 20 Beautiful Women. She teaches mindfulness and Kundalini meditation to mamas and kids ages 3-9. If you’d like to learn more about Tejal or one of her mindfulness challenges, you can find her website at: http://tejalvpatel.com/.
In other news, we’re taking a short break from producing new interviews. In the meantime, we’ll be posting spoken-essays and short audio clips, so you can continue to tune in. We’ll be back in a couple of months with a new improved format. If you have any suggestions or ideas for our new format, don’t hesitate to let us know.
Today’s episode is about finally finding the right partner after divorce. My own experience as a divorce lawyer was that my clients who worked through the emotional issues always had very happy second marriages. That contradicts the data on second marriages, but I saw it occurring over and over.
I believe I’ve found yet another example in our guests today. Carolyn and Christof have a fun and romantic story in which they gamely face the challenges that are inevitable in every relationship, as you’ll hear. And they met just as Christof had gotten over a very challenging divorce.
These two are both well regarded journalists living in NY. Carolyn is a senior writer at Huffington Post, who also published a book last year. You can learn more about her here: http://carolyngregoire.com/. Christof was an on-camera journalist at Al Jazeera America, and is now freelance.
This episode was made possible my Match. Big thanks to them. You can find their offer of 7 days free to try out their service at match.com/together.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the super bowl!
Well, it’s about a lot more than that, but a good chunk of the story revolves around what happened at the Super Bowl this year. With that as the backdrop, we get to explore questions of parenting, sex, shared responsibility, and of course my favorite topic of all: conflict.
Now this was one of our longer interviews, so I’ve cut the second half out for a Patreon bonus episode. If you’d like to hear that, you can find it at: you can find that at patreon.com/together.
To take advantage of the special offer that Match is making to listeners of our podcast: 7 days free to search anyone on Match, just go to match.com/together and register for your account there.
Today's episode is the second of two bonus episodes made possible by Match. I had always wanted to interview Dr. Helen Fisher; she’s a biological anthropologist, and one of the world’s foremost experts on the science of love. She is also Match’s Chief Scientific Advisor, and so they made the introduction for me.
In the first segment which we released last week, we learned a little about Dr. Fisher personally, and we spoke more broadly about the biological reasons for love. In this episode, we focus on Dr. Fisher's advice to singles looking to meet the right person, and to couples who want to stay in love for the long term.
You might want to check out Dr. Fisher’s book that she mentions in the interview: Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray (Completely Revised and Updated with a New Introduction).
If you’d like to take advantage of the special offer that Match is making to listeners of our podcast: 7 days free to search anyone on Match, just go to match.com/together and register for your account there.
Today’s episode is about absolute dedication, and it’s very romantic.
If you’ve listened to the show before, you know that I often begin interviews by asking how my guests met, but that I like to get past all that so we can explore the challenges that couples face. My view is that we have plenty of happily ever after romance stories in our culture, and we really don’t need any more of those.
But then I interviewed Amy and Matt. Now I’m not saying this is a happily ever after story. These two have their challenges just like anyone, and in fact, the second hour of this interview was all about those challenges. But the story of how these two met and fell in love is just so touching that I couldn’t resist posting an episode about their early romance.
If you want to hear about challenges, I’m posting the second half of the interview for patreon subscribers of $2 or more, and you can find that at Patreon.com/together.
I’m also excited to say that we’re posting part two of our interview with Dr. Helen Fisher later this week. In part one of that interview we talked about the biological underpinnings of our experience of love, and in part two, we get into Dr. Fisher’s advice for singles.
That episode and this one were both made possible by Match.com. Super big thanks to match for their sponsorship. If you would like to take advantage of the exclusive offer their providing our listeners - 7-days free to use their site, just go to match.com/together.
Today’s episode is a bonus that I’m very excited to release! I’ve wanted to interview Dr. Helen Fisher ever since I saw her extraordinary Ted talk about The Brain In Love. She is so insightful and dynamic in all of these talks that I knew she would make a great guest.
And I gotta tell you, this is the benefit of having a sponsor like Match.com - It turns out Dr. Fisher is their chief scientific advisor, and they were able set up an introduction for me.
We had a blast doing this interview, and I think you’re going to enjoy it. We’re releasing it in two parts. In the first half, we learn about Dr. Fisher as a person, and her views on the broader sociological and biological motivations driving our behavior around dating and love. We discuss monogamy vs. polyamory, jealousy, divorce, and the roots of this feeling we call love.
In the second half of the interview which I’ll release as a bonus episode next week, we get down to the finer details for each of us as individuals, including Dr. Fishers advice to singles in search of a partner. You’ll definitely want to check that out..
You might want to check out Dr. Fisher’s book that she mentions in the interview: Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray (Completely Revised and Updated with a New Introduction).
If you’d like to take advantage of the special offer that Match is making to listeners of our podcast: 7 days free to search anyone on Match, just go to match.com/together and register for your account there.
Today’s episode is about god being at the center of a marriage. This is an idea that I’ve wanted to explore for quite some time. We’ve touched on it in previous episodes, but this is the most in depth conversation I’ve had with a Christian couple. What I love about this conversation is that David and Heather are not academics or preachers. This is an idea that’s at the center of their lives, but that they don’t spend a lot of time articulating it in their day-to-day. So the conversation very much comes from the heart, and I think that makes it very genuine.
If you would like to check out David’s podcast, you can find it at: http://davidpmariano.com/podcasts/
If you’d like to take advantage of the special offer that Match is making to listeners of our podcast: 7 days free to search anyone on Match, just go to match.com/together and register for your account there.
Today’s episode is a focus on the early phases of a relationship. I’ve always thought that a willingness to work on the inevitable challenges in a relationship is the greatest possible expression of romance. Our guests today Lucy and Phillipe are recently engaged, and it’s their joyful newness coupled with that willingness to do the work that made this episode seem like a good fit for Valentine’s week.
Lucy also happens to be a close friend of our podcast. She has written a couple of articles for magazines:
http://together.guide/im-unicorn-couples-search/
http://together.guide/doctors-orders-no-sex-now/
And I am very excited to announce that she is also releasing her new web series: Unicornland on Vimeo tomorrow. Unicornland is an 8-episode webseries about a woman exploring her sexuality post-divorce by dating couples. You can find that at unicornlandseries.com
Thanks to our sponsors today, Match.com. You can take advantage of their special offer of seven days free by going to match.com/together.
Today’s episode marks the first time we’ve had a couple back for a second appearance on the show. Chris and Esther first appeared in episodes 29 and 30, which were titled: Polyamory and Divorce, A Story About Love, and Non-Monogamy is Hard Because Relationships Are Hard. In those episodes they explained the nature of their non-monogamous relationship, and shared the main challenge they were facing at the time which had to do essentially with maintaining relationship agreements.
If you’ve listened to the show at all, you know that my view is that conflict in a relationship is inevitable, and that it’s an opportunity to create depth. These two exemplify that messy reality perfectly. There’s no tidy solution to this interview, and this relationship is very much in process. But these two love each other, and They’re very much together.
In other news, I’m excited to announce that thanks to our sponsors this month, Match.com, we’re launching a feature on the Sports Byline Radio Network. It’s a series of shorts features about relationship fundamentals. Let me know if you happen to hear it. I’d love to know what you think.
If you would like to take advantage of the special offer of 7 days free that Match is offering our listeners, just go to: www.match.com/together
Also, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about falling in love when you’re just not supposed to.
According to most researchers on the subject, human sexual orientation is a spectrum. The Kinsey Scale for instance, one of the most widely used classification systems, rates people along a spectrum from 0–entirely heterosexual, to 6–entirely homosexual.
There are hundreds of these classification systems all taking into account different kinds of factors. Whatever you may think of any of the various systems, it does appear that each of us is uniquely oriented sexually.
Some of us learn about our orientation very early in our lives, some of us never fully discover who we are sexually, and some of us discover it only after getting married and starting a family.
Today’s guests, Ginny and Jody have a story to tell us along these lines, and they tell it much better than I do. Enjoy!
Ginny has contributed several articles to our magazine. Here are a couple of links if you’d like to read those:
http://together.guide/introvert-extrovert-dilemma/
http://together.guide/two-journeys-one-relationship/
http://together.guide/tell-partner-everything/
You can also find her website at: http://www.finallytimeforthis.com/
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about how one couple runs a restaurant together, and somehow manages not to kill each other process.
This concept of married couples who work together is something we’ve heard about on the show before, but I wanted to bring our guests today on the show because they’re the rockstars of this balancing act. Adam and Stacy run a very successful and highly regarded restaurant in San Francisco called Bluestem Brasserie. On the show they discuss the one factor that’s both their Kryptonite and their super power. Enjoy the show!
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about optimizing behavior for happiness in marriage. Shane and Jessica, today’s guests have a solidly traditional american marriage. They live in a lovely home in the suburbs of Sacramento, they’ve got two adorable kids, and two very cute cats. They’re friends with all their neighbors, they spend weekends with family, and life is good. But Shane gets occasionally grumpy and dark, and Jessica needs a strong sense control in life to feel completely at ease. In her words, she’s a bit bossy. But they’re both working on these tendencies in themselves, and it’s for the sake of their family, and that’s what makes their story so touching.
Don’t forget to check our sponsor for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
Our episode today is about loss and renewal.
We’ve all felt loss to one degree or another. And we’ve all heard about the stages of recovery as well. But the actuality of loss, and specifically the death of a loved one, is something far deeper and more visceral than any explanation can ever capture.
Our guest today, Erin Moon, was widowed after 10 years of marriage when she was 35. The death was a painful one, but Erin has found renewal in loss. Her story is an inspiring one, and it reminds me how in some sense, it’s death that gives each of us our lives.
Don’t forget to check our sponsor for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please check out our listener community at patreon.com/together - that’s where subscribers can listen to deleted clips and get other extras as a way to suppor our work. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about adventure travel. We thought a story about hitting the road would be a good way to kick off the new year.
Happy New Year!!
Don’t forget to check our sponsor for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We’re not posting an interview this week, so we can give ourselves a little break. Instead, we thought we’d post some thoughts on what we’ve learned this year from the show.
Thanks for listening, and Happy Holidays!
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about being transgender. Last week took a first look at the issue of traditional gender roles, and this week we expand the exploration of gender to look at identity.
Our guests today, Jamie, Doe, and Bree are all transgender. Jamie is a transgender man, Bree is a transgender woman, and Doe is a non binary gender fluid person. These three are also polyamorous, but that’s not the focus of this episode. If you’d like to hear about their romantic relationship, we’ll be posting that portion of the interview for Patreon subscribers, and you can find it on our patreon page, at patreon.com/together.
These three are so on the cutting edge of transparency and self awareness that it’s exhilarating just being around them. I think you’re going to love this one. Enjoy the show.
Also, please be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
Today's episode is our first interview about gender roles.
I recently read an article by the Science Fiction Writer, David J Schwartz called Masculinity Is An Anxiety Disorder. It lays out a very compelling argument that the elements of masculinity that we men are expected to live up to in Western society, are utterly unattainable, and in many cases self-contradictory. And yet we all hold ourselves to this unachievable standard, thereby setting ourselves up for failure. Of course this goes for women as well. Gender is without question one of the most unexamined and yet prevalent boxes that we all stuff ourselves into. Some might say that gender itself is biologically dictated, and that may be true or it may not, but either way, the roles and the behaviors that we expect to associate with our genders are subjective.
Our guests this week, Maia and Travis, allow us to take a gentle first look at the issue of gender. These two have a marriage that follows a fairly nontraditional structure, but it’s nothing that you haven't heard of before. What's instructive about these two is the ease with which they each take on their nontraditional roles in the family. More importantly it’s the genuine happiness and satisfaction that they take from living life the way they want that we can all learn something from.
If you’d like to learn more about Maia and Travis, you can check out their website at:
http://bitteshop.com/, their online children’s store focusing on sustainability and small batch artisinal brands. Maia’s very well known Pinterest profile can be found at: https://www.pinterest.com/maia_mcdonald/
And don’t forget to check our sponsor for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today's episode is about keeping marriage simple. Chris and Jen, our guests today, met in an unusual way, but their marriage itself follows a structure that many would consider to be the traditional American marriage (whatever that actually means). But that does not mean that their relationship goes unexamined. These two run a website that helps people recover from break ups. And that means they’ve given a lot of thought to what causes relationships to fail, and inversely, what causes them to succeed.
What works for these two is keeping things simple. Sometimes we just create too much drama for ourselves. There’s a lot of wisdom in knowing when to let that go.
If you’d like to learn more about Chris and Jen, you can find their website at https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/. I’ll put a link to their site in our show notes.
And don’t forget to check our sponsor for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about sex in a Christian marriage. You may recall that several episodes back, my guests shared that they had managed to reignite the passion in their marriage following childbirth by using a technique that they had learned on podcast called One Extraordinary Marriage. Well, I reached out to the hosts of that podcast, Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, because I wanted to get the information from the source. We don’t agree on everything that we discuss in this episode, but we had a great time talking about it, and these two have some very useful insights into how to come to terms with sexuality within the Christian context. And since we don’t have very many Christians on this show talking about their religion, I’m very excited about this one.
You can learn more abuot Tony and Alisa at their website: https://oneextraordinarymarriage.com/
Be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Little Bird, the independent diamond & engagement ring experts. The best way to buy an engagement ring is with a bird's eye view. You can find them at littlebirdtoldyou.com
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today's episode is our Thanksgiving episode, and it’s about managing family dynamics around sexuality. Sammy and Sandeep are a gay couple, and both of them initially faced immense pressure from their families to deny their sexuality. But each of these two in their own ways stood for both truth and for family. What happened is astounding. These two have a lot to teach us about unconditional love. I hope you can take a little bit of this with you home to your family this holiday season.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Knock Knock, makers of the Fill In The Love collection of fill-in-the-blank journals, postcards, and letters that you can use to express your love to anyone. You can find their website at knockknockstuff.com. Their collection is really cool. I think you’ll dig it.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about compromise. Is it necessary? This episode is part two of an interview with our guests from last week, Robert and Morgan. In part one we discussed orgasmic meditation, and Robert and Morgan’s nonmonogamous relationship structure. Today, we’re exploring their idea that compromise is unnecessary in a relationship, and we’ll tackle whether that’s a substantive or semantic question. This is a good talk, and I think you’ll enjoy it. That said, you might want to go back and listen to part one to get some context.
As I mentioned in the last episode, Robert also wrote an article for us a while back called “She Gave Me Permission To Sleep Around,” which tells another aspect of their story. You can find it here: http://together.guide/gave-permission-sleep-around/.
If you’d like to learn more about Robert, you can find his business consulting and personal coaching website at: http://kandellconsulting.com/.
And Be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Knock Knock, makers of the Fill In The Love collection of fill-in-the-blank journals, postcards, and letters that you can use to express your love to anyone. You can find their website at knockknockstuff.com. Their collection is really cool. I think you’ll dig it.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
If you’d like to learn more about Robert, you can find his business consulting and personal coaching website at: http://kandellconsulting.com/.
Be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Knock Knock, makers of the Fill In The Love collection of fill-in-the-blank journals, postcards, and letters that you can use to express your love to anyone. You can find their website at knockknockstuff.com. Their collection is really cool. I think you’ll dig it. If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today's episode is about keeping the passion alive after childbirth. Listeners have been asking me lately to inquire with my guests about what happens to sexual intimacy after childbirth. Our couple today, Jamie and Jessica Rhodes, share how they met young, fell in love and got married early, and jumped into parenthood quite quickly. They have a lot to say about maintaining the passion.
We're going to be rejiggering are patreon page to make it more of a community in the next couple of weeks. I mention that because our conversation about sex and intimacy with Jamie and Jessica continues after we cut it for this episode. If you'd like to hear the rest of this interview, let me know and I'll post it for the patreon community.
If you’d like to learn more about Jamie and Jessica, check out their podcast. It’s called The Parenting Rhodes, and you can find it on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-rhodes-jess-jamie/id1131033556?mt=2
And Be sure to check out our sponsors for today’s episode: Knock Knock, makers of the Fill In The Love collection of fill-in-the-blank journals, postcards, and letters that you can use to express your love to anyone. You can find their website at knockknockstuff.com. Their collection is really cool. I think you’ll dig it.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We’re experimenting with releasing only one episode per week and that schedule starts next week on Monday, so don’t be surprised!
Today’s episode is a recap with our good friend Dr. Michelle Wang. Dr. Wang works with couples in San Francisco in some very interesting and fun ways: you can learn all about her on her website: http://www.drmichellewang.com/.
Let us know what you think of these recaps and of our new schedule. We love hearing from you. You can always email me at host@together.guide.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the thorny issue of how we know when a relationship is right and how we know when it’s wrong. As you may know from listening to the show, I don’t often interview experts, but today’s guest–Jodi Stein–is so genuine, and she has so much hard won insight into these questions, that I just couldn’t resist posting her interview. I think you’re going to enjoy this one.
If you’d like to learn more about Jodie, you can find her website at: www.jodiestein.com.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We’re trying something new this month: recap episodes with our good friend Dr. Michelle Wang. Now that we’ve passed 70 episodes, we wanted to go back and review some of our earlier shows, and this seems like a fun way to do it.
Dr. Wang works with couples in San Francisco in some very interesting and fun ways: you can learn all about her on her website: http://www.drmichellewang.com/.
Let us know what you think of these recaps. We love hearing from you. You can always email me at host@together.guide.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is part 2 of an interview with Samantha and Dylan. Part one was mostly the lovely story of how they met. This episode focuses more on how they manage criticism, conflict, and the differing cultural views of their friends and family. If you haven’t heard part1, you might want to go back and listen for context, but this discussion does stand on it’s own.
If you’d like to learn more about Samantha, you can find her website at www.samstrand.com, where you can see her recent work, and the collaboration she references in the show.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about culture shock.
We don’t like to face our prejudice. It’s a concept that carries uncomfortable implications about our moral compass, and yet we all have preconceptions that we hold with us. The art, in some sense, is to be aware of our preconceptions, and not allow them to dominate experience.
Our guests today come from two distinct american cultures: Dylan is a Marine Sergeant from a small town in PA, and Samantha is a gallery artist who comes from Berkeley, CA. These two fell in love and they got married, but as you can imagine, love was the easy part. Managing their preconceptions, and merging their cultures was the real work.
If you’d like to learn more about Samantha, you can find her website at www.samstrand.com, where you can see her recent work, and the collaboration she references in the show.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We’re trying something new this month: recap episodes with our good friend Dr. Michelle Wang. Now that we’ve passed 70 episodes, we wanted to go back and review some of our earlier shows, and this seems like a fun way to do it.
Dr. Wang works with couples in San Francisco in some very interesting and fun ways: you can learn all about her on her website: http://www.drmichellewang.com/.
Let us know what you think of these recaps. We love hearing from you. You can always email me at host@together.guide.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about a decision that we all seem to face, but about which there is no perfect answer. Should we break up, or should we work through the challenges? There can be no perfect answer because we can never know what else might have been. The best we can do with that puzzle is finally just to choose, and then do our best to empower our choice.
But that is so much easier said than done, and particularly so when we’re looking in from the outside. Because choosing whether or not to leave someone you love is not only impossibly difficult, the answer is also bound to leave us with more questions.
That’s the issue that our guests today are exploring. Rachel and Tom are in love, and yet as they both say, that’s not enough. Earlier this year, Rachel wrote a story about her conflicts with their love affair that gained quite a lot of attention. It’s called Sleeping With A Gentrifier, and you can find it here: https://thebolditalic.com/sleeping-with-a-gentrifier-cba85a9ce7a3#.i4i57rdjn. In that story she ultimately chooses love in the face of her internal conflict. But fast forwarding to the recording of our interview, they’re back the crossroads.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the deeply important drive to claim our personal independence.
Our very charming guests, Jeanne and George Chan - have been together for a long time, and to the outside world, their love affair probably seems storybook perfect. This is in part because Jeanne runs an extremely well known lifestyle blog called Shop Sweet Things, that often features necessarily gorgeous images of her and their family. Jeanne also founded Harlow and Grey, a beautifully curated modern party goods store.
The thing about running brands like these, is that by design, the imagery portrays the happiest and most perfectly manicured sides of life. But as we all know, there is no such thing as a challenge-free love affair. And that fact came to a head with these two in a way that profoundly changed their relationship. It’s such a lovely and in some ways a counterintuitive story that we decided to pair it this week with an interview on Wednesday about a different couple who are currently in the process of deciding whether to stay together or break up. The two interviews capture distinct phases of a process that we’ve all faced, and remains a mystery to most of us.
If you’d like to learn more about Jeanne, check out her blog: http://shopsweetthings.com/, and her modern party goods outlet: https://harlowandgrey.com/.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about political differences.
We’ve all had political differences with the one’s we love. This is one reason Thanksgiving visits can be such a notorious challenge: dealing with your crazy uncle and his views on the election is an eternal struggle. But what happens when those differences are right under your roof with your life partner? That’s the question we explore today. Erica and Theo found that they were on opposite sides of a political divide in this year’s Democratic primary. They learned a lot about one another by exploring those differences, and we get to hear the whole story.
This is part two of our interview with Erica and Theo. In part one we heard about how their love affair began on the rebound. If you haven’t heard that episode, you might want to go back and listen for context, but this conversation does stand on it’s own.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 69!
Today’s episode is about the rebound.
We’ve all heard the standard advice: getting together on the rebound is a recipe for disaster. But what if it can actually a good idea? And what is a rebound, anyway?
Our couple today answers these questions and more as they tell their story: The Double Rebound Love Affair. If you’re going to have a rebound, this is the way to make it work.
In other news, we’re trying something new this month - we’re switching during October to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday format. On Fridays we’ll be posting recap episodes with a special guest, Dr. Michelle Wang. In these episodes, Dr. Wang, Producer Char, and I will all chat about an episode from our archives, and maybe even answer listener mail. Let us know what you think of our experiment - we always love hearing back from you. You can email me at host@together.guide, so don’t be shy!
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is part 2 of an interview about race, gender, and privilege. Today we’ll also learn the reaction that Marvin and Kamala faced when they decided to hyphenate their last names.
If you haven’t listened to Tuesday’s episode, you should definitely do that, as our conversation on privilege will make a lot more sense if you do.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We're back from our two week break. Thank you for hanging in there with us!
This week’s episodes are about race, gender, body image, privilege, and the social pressures of choosing a name. I think you'll really enjoy this one. Let us know what you think!
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
We’re posting an episode today that serves as something of a contrast to our show on Tuesday. Today’s couple couldn’t be more different from Tuesday’s in many respects, but they’re equally successful as a couple. By that I mean they’re in love, they’re committed, they’re making their relationship work, and they’re living exactly the marriage that they want to live.
Rather than give any more away, I’ll let them tell the story.
You can learn more about Candice on her blog: http://www.theorgasmiclife.com/blog/
You can learn about Adam and his coaching practice at: http://www.adamgordoncoaching.com/
And here is a link to the wedding vows that Candice and Adam mentioned on the show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbSGUkvIopk
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about a small town catholic courtship in the early 1960’s. Living in our respective cultural bubbles, as we all do, we don’t often consider how relationships are lived by those right next door to us. There’s nothing shocking about this interview–some in fact, might consider the stories we’re about to hear to be perfectly normal. Simplistic, even. But for me, at least, this interview serves as a look at a kind of relationship structure that I just don’t have very much experience with. And that may seem ironic to you, because this is an interview with my very close Aunt and Uncle, Barb and Dave. But while we are family, they’ve lived a life that is utterly different from my own, and so I find their story fascinating. Enjoy the show!
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the personal charm guru who botched his marriage proposal. It’s a fun story, and one I’ve been trying to record for a while, so I’m very excited to be releasing today’s interview with Jordan Harbinger and Jen Liao.
If you’d like to learn more about Jordan, you can find his podcast, “The Art Of Charm” on iTunes, and his website is www.theartofcharm.com.
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about recovering from infidelity.
This is part 2 of an interview with Kristen and Kourosh about the infidelities that almost took their marriage under. The story get’s really good in this episode, as we learn how these two saved their marriage by doing the one thing that everyone says never to do.
If you’d like to learn more about Kristen, you can find her extremely popular fashion and lifestyle blog at http://www.stylenik.com/.
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
This week’s episodes are about holding infidelity earnestly, but lightly.
This will seem a bit counterintuitive: our interview this week was one of the most fun and light hearted we’ve ever recorded, but the topic was primarily a series of infidelities that almost cost our guests their marriage more than once.
Being human is messy, but that mess can be either terrifying or hilarious depending on our perspective. Our guests, this week, Kristen and Kourosh understand that, and it comes across in how they live their lives.
These two did everything right and in a sense they also did everything completely wrong, yet they hold those facts gently. When the wrong bits nearly cost their marriage, they saved it by doing the one thing everybody says never to do. And it completely worked.
I’ll let them tell the story.
If you’d like to learn more about Kristen, you can find her extremely popular fashion and lifestyle blog at http://www.stylenik.com/.
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
We’ve also published the final installment of The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Marriage on the magazine this week. Let us know what you think!
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is part 2 of an interview with my very favorite spiritual teacher, Mukti. If you haven’t heard part 1, definitely don’t miss it–she’s just too good to skip.
In today’s interview we’ll hear Mukti’s thoughts on intimacy, and love.
If you would like to learn more about Mukti or her teachings, you can find her at http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=mukti_teachings
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
When I first imagined launching our podcast, there was one particular couple I would fantasize about interviewing almost daily. And that was Mukti and Adyashanti. For those of you who don’t know these two, Mukti and Adya are both very well known spiritual teachers, and they also happen to be married–which as you can imagine, makes them like catnip to me.
I eventually got the courage to ask them onto the show. Adya said no, and Mukti said yes! I usually only record couples, but I couldn’t pass up interviewing one half of my fantasy couple. So I took the train down to see her, and this interview is the result. We covered all my favorite topics in this interview: fear, love, marriage, the idea of completeness, conflict, and even the myth of enlightenment. You’ll have to wait until Thursday to hear Mukti’s thoughts on love and intimacy. But trust me, it’s worth the wait.
If you would like to learn more about Mukti or her teachings, you can find her at http://www.adyashanti.org/index.php?file=mukti_teachings
In other news, we’re launching a radio show based on the podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about how to practice forgiveness in marriage. Andrea and Ryan have a very practical approach to letting anger go in their relationship that I think you’ll find very useful.
This is part 2 of our interview Andrea and her husband Ryan. Part 1 was a very sweet story about how they fell in love, and you should definitely listen to that episode if you haven’t done so already.
In other news, we’re creating a radio program based on our podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
Don’t forget to check out Together Magazine this week. We’ve posted part 2 of The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage. We’d love to hear what you think.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 57!
Today’s episode is about a junior high love affair that turned into an exceptionally strong marriage, four lovely kids, and one gorgeous organic farm.
I lost track of my cousin Andrea as an adult, and when I learned that she had started an organic farm with her husband, I couldn’t have been more surprised. But the truth was, I didn’t know a thing about Andrea. All I had were those vague childhood memories of that sweet redheaded girl. So during a recent family visit back in Michigan, I took a detour up to the farm, to try and get to know my cousin Andrea and her family a little bit better.
We sat down with margaritas on a warm rainy Michigan evening in the house that Andrea and Ryan built themselves, on the farmland that they bought after saving for years. While the kids watched a movie downstairs, I got to learn how my cousin Andrea first met the love of her life. I hope you enjoy the show.
In other news, we’re creating a radio program based on our podcast, and we’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. If you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112.
Don’t forget to check out Together Magazine this week. We’ve posted part 2 of The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage. We’d love to hear what you think.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the intersection of conflict and faith.
This is part two of our interview with Angus and Samantha. I have haven’t listened to part one, you should probably go back and do it, as it will give you context for our discussion today.
We’re dropping into the interview just as Angus and Samantha are describing a challenge they faced that was rooted in each of their deepest fears about relationships. The process by which they resolved their conflict is instructive, but what’s more impactful is what powered the process. We haven’t had very many couples on our show talk about faith or religion, so it was a real pleasure to hear from these two. I found their views both accessible and inspiring.
We also published an article on the magazine side of our site this week called The Divorce Lawyer’s Guide To Marriage, Part 1. It’s the first in a four part series about the lessons i learned about how to make a relationship work from being a divorce lawyer. Let me know what you think. You can find it on our website, or on the facebook page.
Angus is a very successful executive coach who speaks and writes extensively about self awareness in business, and he hosts a podcast called Up In Your Business - which is a lot of fun. You can find all that at his website: http://angusnelson.com/
In other news, I’m excited to announce that we’ve been asked to create a pilot radio program based on our podcast. I can’t disclose the details yet, but I can tell you that it’s going to involve a listener call-in segment. We’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. So if you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112. We might be able to include you in our pilot!
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about the paradoxes inherent to a happy marriage.
Angus and samantha, our guests this week, are very much like every other couple out there: they love each other and they have their challenges. What sets them apart is that they each consider it a privilege to do it takes to support one another through those challenges. And that is much easier said than done. They draw their strength from their faith, and their awareness of the paradox of marriage. I’ll let them share the details.
In other news, I’m excited to announce that we’ve been asked to create a pilot radio program based on our podcast. I can’t disclose the details yet, but I can tell you that it’s going to involve a listener call-in segment. We’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. So if you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112. We might be able to include you in our pilot!
Special thanks to Shure Microphones for donating their brand new MV-51 model that’s specially made for podcasters. We used it to record our intro and outro today, so if you like the sound, you know where to find it.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode Number 54!
The intersection of romance and brutal honesty is our topic today.
We all sell our partners on ourselves, when we first meet - it’s part of how we seduce one another and fall in love. There’s nothing wrong with that. That said, it’s also possible to withhold too much about ourselves in that stage. As we’ve seen so many times on this show, healthy relationships require complete and direct communication.
Our guests today, Matthew and Sophie-Charlotte, are a fascinating balance of these two ways stages of love. One is the undying romantic optimist; the other is an unrepentantly honest realist. And the fascinating way in which their relationship comes together is the theme of our show.
If you would like to learn more about Matthew (he can teach you how to race motorcycles), you can find his website at www.speedgrins.com.
Sophie-Charlotte is the author of the bestselling book: Mobilized - The Formula For Mobile Success, and you can learn more about her at www.scmoatti.com.
In other news, I’m excited to announce that we’ve been asked to create a pilot radio program based on our podcast. I can’t disclose the details yet, but I can tell you that it’s going to involve a listener call-in segment. We’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. So if you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112. We might be able to include you in our pilot!
Special thanks to Shure Microphones for donating their brand new MV-51 model that’s specially made for podcasters. We used it to record our intro and outro today, so if you like the sound, you know where to find it.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 53!
We all hold an ideal vision of our future selves, romantic or otherwise. By definition, the ideal is never the reality. Our interview today is about coming to terms with what we really want, as expressed by what we actually create for ourselves. Our couple, Rachel and Greg, have a life they love, and one Rachel at least never would have planned in her twenties. But it’s perfect; I’ll let them tell you the details.
In other news, I’m excited to announce that we’ve been asked to create a pilot radio program based on our podcast that will involve a listener call-in segment. We’re looking for questions from listeners about relationships. So if you have a question or you’d like some advice about your relationship, give us a call and leave a message at (415) 483-5112. We’ll get right back to you, and we might be able to include you in our pilot!
Special thanks to Shure Microphones for donating their brand new MV-51 model that’s specially made for podcasters. We used it to record our intro and outro today, so if you like the sound, you know where to find it.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person. Our episodes this week are about speaking our truths. In Part 1 of our interview with Rae and Morgan, we heard about an inner truth that just “popped out of Rae’s mouth” on an early date. Today we’ll hear about some deeper truths—around sexual desire in particular, and sexual desire for people other than our spouse—that are often difficult for couples to face.
So while our interview today focuses somewhat on non-monogamy, the more significant issue at hand is one of honest, courageous communication. I do believe that the non-monogamous have a lot to teach us all about relationships, simply because they’re engaged in exponentially more relationship dynamics than the monogamous. And I’ve written an article on that topic in our magazine this week called What the Monogamous Can Learn from The Polyamorous.
Another word for freedom is nothing left to hide. Thank you Rae and Morgan for reminding us all about that.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 51!
Our episodes this week are about speaking our truths. Sometimes they’re obvious and just pop out as did the surprising statement Rae made to Morgan on one of their first dates, which we’ll hear in Part 1 of our interview today. Sometimes they’re more deeply buried and take a little longer to surface, as with the realizations Rae and Morgan uncovered around sexuality, which we’ll discuss into in Part 2 on Thursday.
Our guests this week, Rae and Morgan, tell us about intimacies that couples don’t often share in public. As always, I’m honored and humbled by their willingness to be transparent.
Another word for freedom is nothing left to hide. Thank you Rae and Morgan for reminding us all about that.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Taking control of our our lives is the topic of our show today. This episode is part 2 of an interview with Ahri and Jay Golden. Listening to part 1 will give you more context for what’s going on in today’s interview, but this episode does stand on it’s own.
Today we’re discussing Ahri and Jay Golden’s unique approach to managing conflict. I don’t want to give it away, so I’ll let them describe it for you.
We’ve also released several magazine articles that sync up with our show. One is called My Husband’s Three Wedding Rings, and the second is called My Relationship Has No Future, and That’s Okay. You can find both of those on our website www.together.guide/magazine. Let us know what you think.
You can learn more about Ahri at her website: http://www.ahrigolden.com/ - she’s a radio producer and photographer, and you can see her work there.
You can learn more about Jay at http://wakingstar.com/ - Jay works with companies and organizations to craft the stories that tell the world who and what they are.
If yo like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Choosing romance and creating partnership, rather than simply finding those things - that is what we’re discussing in week’s episodes. There is an idea we all live with to some degree that love is something that just happens to us. That it’s a matter of luck or happenstance. But most of us also have a sense that we’re much more in control than we let on. Where that line is drawn between control and luck is an ongoing mystery. And it’s a mystery that our couple this week, Ahri and Jay Golden, absolutely love to explore. From the story of how they met and created their marriage (which comprises episode 1), to their very unique approach to managing conflict (which is episode 2), this couple works to take responsibility for their own lives, and it shows.
We’re also releasing three articles this week that dovetail with our episodes. They’re all about intentionally taking control of our experience of our own relationships, and you can find them on our website: www.together.guide/magazine. I hope you’ll read them and let us know what you think.
You can learn more about Ahri at her website: http://www.ahrigolden.com/ - she’s a radio producer and photographer, and you can see her work there.
You can learn more about Jay at http://wakingstar.com/ - Jay works with companies and organizations to craft the stories that tell the world who and what they are.
So with that, let’s go to part 1 of our interview with Ahri and Jay Golden.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 48!
This week’s episodes are about creating equality in love and at work. Today’s installment is Part 2 of an interview with Emily and Rob, spouses and business partners who live and work together 24/7, and who have created several successful, venture-backed businesses. If you haven’t heard Part 1, you might want to go back and listen because it will give you more context for today’s discussion. That said, today’s episode is primarily about Emily’s decision to return to her maiden name after first taking Rob’s last name when they married. And that decision, which every married couple faces, stands on its own.
Emily’s decision, and Rob’s response to her decision, are inspiring to me personally, and I hope you enjoy this interview.
So with that, let’s go to Part 2 of our interview with Emily and Rob.
You can learn more about the company that Emily and Rob operate together at https://din.co/
The article that Emily wrote is available here: Why I’m Returning To My Maiden Name
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 47!
This week’s episodes are about equality and gender in love and in work– what are the roles we’re expected to play, and what happens when we shake those up? Our couple, Emily and Rob know quite a bit about this topic. These two have been together nonstop since they met in college. And not only are they married, but they have founded and run several major venture backed companies together, and now operate a company called Din as co-ceos.
The expectations and demands these two face as a result of not just being a couple, but of running large fully staffed organizations, and by having taken capital from professional investors are not insignificant. You might think those demands are contradictory, but not for these two. Somehow Emily and Rob manage to both be both successful partners and to remain completely head over heals for one another.
In our conversation we explore not just how they manage the dynamic of working and living together 24/7, but how they handle the balance of power at work, and how that impacts their priorities as a couple.
Emily recently wrote an article on Medium called Why I’m Returning To My Maiden Name. We’ll talk with her about that article and that decision in part 2 of our interview on Thursday.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 46!
Today’s episode is Part 2 of an interview with Gaby and Raj Sundra, authors of Relationship Fun and Games.
We’re joining the interview just as Gaby and Raj are about to share with us their Romp Recap technique for scoring and improving their sex lives.
If you would like to learn more about Gaby and Raj, you can find their website and all their courses at: http://relationshipfunandgames.com/
This week’s podcasts are all about turning a dramatic relationship into a peaceful (and sexy) one. On the magazine, Phil and Maude Mays take it a step further, outlining in detail how they manage to never fight, but instead focus on co-creating solutions, in Our Conflict Free Relationship. The story is the result of an email conversation I’ve been having with Phil and Maude about whether conflict is in fact avoidable in relationships. They say it is, and as you probably know by now, I say it isn’t. Regardless, their article articulates a very interesting process for communication.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 45!
This week’s episodes are about allowing our mess to be our message - a line that our guests this week borrow from a dear friend of theirs. And words that these two truly live by.
I have to admit, that I’m usually a little hesitant to bring experts on the show. I often find myself concerned that they’ll hide behind their expertise rather than use the show as an opportunity for transparency. So far my fears have been unfounded, I’m happy to say, and this week’s couple is no exception. Gaby and Raj Sundra are the authors of Relationship Fun and Games, and they lead couple’s workshops based on the relationship development principles in the book.
What’s fascinating about this couple is the determined way in which they take every single conceivable challenge in their relationship, dissect it to its root elements, and turn it into a tool. It’s an inspiring process to observe, and I think you’re going to love both the honesty, and the tips these two share with us.
Yesterday’s article on the magazine was also about transparency. In Why You Should Tell Your Partner Everything, Ginny McReynolds makes a strong case for full disclosure at the very beginning of a relationship, because let’s face it: How can you love and help someone unless you know the history they’re carrying?
If you would like to learn more about Gaby and Raj, you can find their website and all their courses at: http://relationshipfunandgames.com/
Welcome to Episode 044!
Today’s episode is Part 2 of an interview with Trevor and Megan Blair. If you haven’t heard Part 1 of this interview, you should probably go back and listen to that, as this episode picks up right in the middle of a discussion about intimacy and connection.
To recap, in the last episode Trevor and Megan shared a recent disagreement they’d had, and Megan explained where she thinks she falls on an intimacy spectrum. She also told us what she believes she has to learn from Trevor about intimacy.
We’re picking the interview up at a point where Trevor tells us he is very upset by what Megan has said. We explore the fears driving his reaction, and the fears below those, and so on.
This is our first podcast that explores a couple’s conflict in real time, as it’s happening. Conflict is such an inherent part of intimacy that we have a whole section of our magazine dedicated to fighting: skills to help you navigate the often-turbulent waters of love. Our most recent story describes the single biggest warning sign that your relationship is in trouble . As always, check out our Facebook page for all the latest stories and comments.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 43!
This week’s episodes are about the great gift of romantic partnership: the opportunity to see our identity reflected back at us and to grow as a result. The process isn’t easy, but it’s arguably the whole point.
Our couple this week, Trevor and Megan Blair, are a delight by any measure. They’re smart, successful, attractive—they’re even athletic. They’re well-known around San Diego because of their deep community involvement. And they’re deeply in love, as you’ll see on the show.
And because they’re in love, they sometimes drive each other up the wall, as you’ll also see on the show.
This episode focuses on one issue that keeps manifesting for these two around intimacy and connection: Trevor needs more of it than Megan does. This is a common dynamic and this fascinating and engaging couple tackle it head-on, with real courage. Hats off to them.
Yesterday on the magazine, we posted another story about pursuing and distancing in which Anna Kawar bravely describes how she often became hysterical when her partner distanced himself—which of course just caused him to withdraw further. Read what she learned here and check out our Facebook page for all the latest stories and comments.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Today’s episode is Part 2 of an interview with Erwan and Alicia Davon, two well-known personal development leaders who are also a couple, and who have developed a program they call The Pleasure Course, in which participants delve into a unique method of personal inquiry and also begin the study of extended orgasm. If you haven’t heard Part 1 of the show, you should probably go back and do that, because it will give you some context for what we’re talking about today.
To recap, in Part 1 Alicia and Erwan shared with us how they met and came together, a bit about their initial conflicts, and Erwan’s first awakening experience in a monastery.
Today, we’re going to cover the topics of extended orgasm and non-ejaculatory sex, and how both of these contribute to the deepening of awareness.
So with that, let’s go to Part 2 of our interview with Alicia and Erwan Davon.
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 41!
This week we’re exploring how our sexual needs, and our relationship conflicts, offer us big opportunities to deepen our awareness.
My guests this week are Erwan and Alicia Davon, two well-known personal development leaders. Their work focuses on bringing presence to relationship and sexuality, and they are probably most known for a program called The Pleasure Course, a seminar in which participants delve into a unique method of spiritual/psychological inquiry as well as begin the study of extended orgasm.
Having worked with so many couples in this intimate way Alicia and Erwan have unique insight into what causes awareness to develop, and how sex and our inevitable conflicts with our partners can help us to expand both our personal relationships and our awareness in general. And it doesn’t hurt that Erwan spent a good amount of time in a monastery and Alicia has a master’s in integral psychology.
We’re also publishing two articles in the Magazine this week that are related to issues in the show. They’re called “You’re Just Not That Sexy,” and “Turn Up The Heat.” You can find both of those on our Facebook page or on www.Together.guide.
If you’d like to learn more about Alicia and Erwan, go to: www.erwandavon.com
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 40!
Today’s episode is for those couples out there trying to get pregnant and facing all the challenges that entails. You’re not alone. And it’s for the rest of us who want to support our friends but have no idea what they’re going through.
This is part 2 of an interview with Jenny Sauer-Klein and Haley Winter. These two episodes are about very different issues, so they do stand alone. That said, you’ll get a little more context about today’s show if you listen to part one which we posted yesterday.
We’re also posting an article in the magazine on this issue. We had originally intended to post it yesterday, but thought it would be better to release it at the same time as this episode. It’s called “Trying, and Failing, To Conceive” and it’s available at our website: together.guide/magazine, and on our facebook page: facebook.com/togethershow.
If you’d like to learn more about Jenny and her various training programs at her website at http://www.playonpurpose.co/
And you can find Haley’s bodywork practice and methodology at: http://www.thewintermethod.com/
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
This is a fun set of interviews because we’ve managed to capture Jenny and Haley in two distinct phases of their relationship. In the first episode, they’re fresh back from their honeymoon and everything is sunshine and rainbows—so much so that they don’t even admit they fight until after we turn off the mics. So I waited several months to interview them again, and then I asked them about that fight they mentioned—and those two bits comprise Episode 1.
In the process of setting up for the second interview, another major issue came up, one that I think is very important, and that I believe many women can identify with. That issue is what we explore in Episode 2. We’re also posting an article in the magazine on this issue, which will go live on Thursday. But I’m not saying any more, because I’m really trying to build some suspense here.
If you’d like to learn more about Jenny and her various training programs at her website at http://www.jennysauerklein.com/
And you can find Haley’s bodywork practice and methodology at: http://www.thewintermethod.com/
If you like what we’re up to here at Together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together. We’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 38!
A theme has been developing on the show lately, and that is the importance of context in a relationship. That is to say that when couples create a shared intention or paradigm into which their relationship is growing, the minor challenges don’t grip very hard. When couples have something greater than themselves to reference, they move through conflict more easily and gracefully than otherwise. Bryan and Jennifer, a couple we interviewed several weeks ago - talk about this in the bonus episode that I’ve posted for Patreon subscribers. Kelly and Scott share about how the context of family really saved their marriage, and today’s couple MaryCay and Michael Durant talk about the context of shared values. In this interview we get a fascinating look into how their co-created values weave their way into all their decisions and all of their disputes.
You can find workshops that MaryCay and Michael reference at www.understandmen.com.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 37!
This week’s episode is about commitment and context.
I wrote an article for Together Magazine this week that we’re posting up at the same time as we’re posting this interview. It’s called You And Me And Everyone We Know, and it’s about the importance of community in a marriage. It’s my view that marriage cannot exist without community, that marriage is a construct by community and of community–that the two are inextricably intertwined, and this this is a strength. You can find that article on our webpage: http://together.guide/magazine/
I mention this not only because I hope you’ll read the article, but because today’s episode with Scott and Kelly is about this very issue. At the beginning of the interview, as you’ll hear, Kelly tells us that marriage is about commitment, and that commitment means sticking it out when it’s sticking it to you–and that’s probably true; that view comes from her experience as a divorce lawyer in LA. But her insight goes much deeper than that. These two had an extremely rocky start as you’ll hear, and what turned things around was their focus on a new paradigm–a whole new context that did more than just make them happy, it allowed family blossom.
You can find Kelly’s family law practice at http://www.purposedrivenlawyers.com/. She has offices in Pasadena, Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 36!
Today’s episode is part two of an interview with Kelli and Timothy Lamb. If you haven’t heard part one, you should probably go back and listen to that, because this episode will make a lot more sense if you do.
There’s a lot going on in this episode, but there are two themes that struck me as particularly interesting. I’m curious to hear what you think of these, so let me know your thoughts on our facebook page: www.facebook.com/togethershow.
The first theme is Kelli’s ability to live life on her terms. We’ve had other couples on the show talk about living outside the box (KT and Doug and JenJen and Noah are two very notable example), but never a couple that appears so classically mainstream. But the truth is of course that none of us is “normal” in any real sense - we’re all outside the standard in one way or another. The lesson from Kelli and Timothy is to embrace that difference.
The second theme is the persistence with which Kelli and Tim consistently work their way towards an understanding of what the other needs. It’s lovely to watch that unfold.
I’d love to know what you got from the episode, so let me know and I’ll read your comments on a future show. You can email me at host@together.guide
We posted two articles at Together Magazine this week that fit nicely with the themes in these episodes. The first is called Uncovering Your Expectations, and it’s about Understanding and Sharing what you really want in a relationship before resentment sets in. The second is called Want The One You’re With, and it’s packed full of extraordinarily solid insights into keeping the passion burning in a long term relationship. You can find those at our website: www.together.guide/magazine,
You can find more about Kelli on her Instagram Feed @Kellilamb_ or at RueMag.com, where she is managing editor.
Timothy’s Instagram is:@TimmyLamb - and he is the Art Director and the Character Designer for Trolls, the forthcoming animated feature from DreamWorks Animation.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 35!
I realized while reflecting on the show this week, that other than my very brief show-opener that you probably hear each episode - the one about my having been a divorce lawyer, I’ve never fully explained why I’m producing Together - the podcast or the magazine.
And in some sense, there's really only one answer, and that’s that I love this project more than anything I’ve ever done.
But I do have a humble agenda that I may as well confess: and that is simply to help us all let go of some measure of shame, by uncovering stories about what it means to be a real person with real challenges.
In this particular era of social media, where our feeds are perfectly manicured to showcase our most clever and most happy selves, it can be easy to feel like something is wrong when the normal challenges of being human, and being in a relationship begin to arise. Our show hopes to be an antidote to that shame, and remind us that it’s perfectly okay to be real person with real challenges - all that means about you is that you’re a real person, with real challenges.
And that brings me to our couple for the week - Kelli and Timothy Lamb.
Now this is a very sweet story about true love, yes I actually mean that - and about the realities of living together day by day in the midst of love. And those two things are not mutually exclusive. We can both be in love and face hard times with one another.
What makes this story fascinating - as always with our guests - is the willingness of Kelli and Tim to be fully transparent about the challenges.
And this is particularly the case because both Kelli and Tim are fairly well known. Kelly is the managing editor and the social media face of Rue Magazine, and Timothy is an Art Director at Dreamworks Animation - he was the character designer for the forthcoming Trolls movies, which is out this November.
Some might say that speaking openly about the hard times could fly in the face of a perfectly manicured social media feed. I say not so - truth only adds depth. Depth creates value. And Kelli and Tim have both in spades.
So with that, let’s go to part 1 of our interview with Kelli and Timothy Lamb.
You can find more about Kelli on her Instagram Feed @Kellilamb_ or at RueMag.com, where she is managing editor.
Timothy’s Instagram is:@TimmyLamb - and he is the Art Director and the Character Designer for Trolls, the forthcoming animated feature from DreamWorks Animation.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 34!
Today’s show is part two of an interview with my two absolute favorite artists, the supremely talented Joshua Hagler, and Maja Ruznic. If you haven’t heard Tuesday’s episode, you should probably do that, because it will give you some more context for what’s going on today.
In this episode, Josh and Maja take us a little deeper into their challenges around money and how that impacts their relationship, and they also make some very interesting strides towards resolving the issues.
We also posted an article about trust and fear in our online magazine today, and it dovetails nicely with this episode. It’s called The Spiral Of Trust, and you can find it at our website: www.together.guide/magazine.
You can find more about Josh and Maja at their websites. Josh’s website is: http://joshuahagler.com, and Maja’s website is http://www.ontheedgeofreason.com/.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 33!
Today’s show is part one of a two part interview with two extraordinary artists: Joshua Hagler, and Maja Ruznic. I’m a huge fan of these two professionally, so it was a real privilege to get a look inside their personal lives. This was a very long interview, so I’ve clipped out several sections that we’ll be releasing as bonus clips for patreon subscribers (you can find more about our patreon campaign at patreon at patreon.com/together).
What we left in was, frankly, the segments about their challenges. These two are a very successful and very happy couple, but they do have one consistent challenge, and that’s money. It will come as no surprise to you that being a successful artist doesn’t always mean financial security. And that fact has a serious impact on artists all over the world - and their personal lives. These two have been courageous enough to drop the veil for a time, and to be honest with us about how money impacts their lives and careers.
You can find more about Josh and Maja at their websites. Josh’s website is: http://joshuahagler.com, and Maja’s website is http://www.ontheedgeofreason.com/.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 32!
Today’s episode is part two of an in interview with KT Nelson and Doug Winter. If you haven’t listened to part 1, you might want to go back and do that, because it will give you some more context for what’s going on today. That said, today’s show really does by itself.
Today we explore questions of infidelity and sexual power dynamics.
If you would like to learn more about KT Nelson, you can find her at the ODC Dance Website.
If you would like to support what we’re doing at Together, please don’t be shy about leaving us a review on iTunes - reviews help us to reach more listeners on iTunes, so we very much appreciate it. If you would like to support us financially, you can find our crowdfunding campaign at www.patreon.com/together.
Today’s episode is part 1 of a two-part interview about a couple that’s still flirting with each other after more than 40 years. This isn’t to say that they or everything they have done has done been perfect. In fact, these two have been through more life - the ups and downs - than anyone has a right to expect! It’s more that by choosing to break the mold of certain social conventions, they were able to craft a relationship they actually wanted to be in - and whether they were entirely aware of what they were doing at the time or not, what they created is still working today.
Part one of this interview is about of breaking a social mold, and how to build a life together afterwards. And in Part two, which we release on Thursday, we explore the question of what infidelity really is, anyway, and the ins and outs of a sexual power dynamic.
You can learn more about KT Nelson at the ODC Dance Website.
If you would like to support what we’re doing at Together, please don’t be shy about leaving us a review on iTunes - reviews help us to reach more listeners on iTunes, so we very much appreciate it. If you would like to support us financiall, you can find our crowdfunding campaign at www.patreon.com/together.
Welcome to Episode 30!
Today’s episode is part 2 of an interview about the struggles inherent to trust and communication, and which are made more challenging by non-monogamy. If you haven’t heard Tuesday’s episode, you should probably go back and listen to that, because it will give you some more context for what’s going on today.
To recap, on Tuesday, Esther and Chris shared how and why they became non-monogamous in the first place, and some of their concerns about how it’s going so far.
In today’s episode they share with us the details about a challenge they’re currently facing, and that remains unresolved. It takes a lot of courage for these two to be as open with us as they are, so thank you Esther and Chris, thank you.
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 29!
This week we’re presenting a twopart interview about challenges that are inherent to all romanticrelationships, but which in this case are made more apparent bynon-monogamy.
There is no tidy resolution tothis story. These two are very much in the midst of a dispute, andwe’re going to a first hand view of what it’s like to be in themiddle of a potentially critical challenge, without all the rightsanswers that come from hindsight.
But these two are committed tosomething that they think is important, and as a result they’rewilling both to share their challenges with us, and to continueworking it out with each other.
As a listener, you willinevitably have your judgments about the couple in this interview,but as I have said before on these shows, I invite you to suspendyour judgment for the time. Rather allow what these two areexperiencing to represent for you the challenges that we all facewith our partners. Relationships are hard, no matter theconfiguration. Intimacy and honesty are intimidating, no matteryour partner. We all fall down despite our best intentions, and yetwe carry on.
Enjoy the show!
If you like what we’re up tohere at together, please consider supporting our crowdfundingcampaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’rejust getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thankyou!
Welcome to Episode 28!
Today’s episode is about about love at first sight, and then the inevitable realities of life together for the long term.
The story of how these two met and then got to know one another is straight out of a romance novel. But to hear the details you’ve got to listen to the show!
You can find out more about John and Odette at their blog: amormorado.tumblr.com. Odette is also on Instagram at: @theharmonytribe
If you like what we’re up to here at together, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign at patreon.com/together - we’re on a mission to crush shame, and we’re just getting off the ground, so every penny helps. Thank you!
Welcome to Episode 27!
Today’s episode is a story about taking control of desire. Our couple–Bryan Franklin and Jennifer Russell–have been together for about 8 years, and during that time they tell us that that they have made some extraordinary strides in the area of controlling their own attention and attraction. I’ll let them tell the story and describe what that means, and I’ll let you to decide whether what they’re saying is credible.
Bryan and Jennifer are leading a couple’s retreat soon - you can find our more about that here: http://recodelive.com/evolving-love-retreat/, and you can find out more about Bryan’s executive coaching and leadership training here: http://bryanfranklin.com/
We have posted two bonus clips from today’s show for anyone who donates $2 or more to our crowdfunding campaign. You can find those clips for subscribers here: https://www.patreon.com/together. The first clip is Bryan and Jennifer’s hilarious meeting story. The second clip is a full length episode about dealing with conflict in a romantic relationship.
Welcome to Episode 26!
Today’s episode is part two of our interview with Andy and Jennifer. If you haven’t heard part 1, you should probably go back and listen to that, because it will give you some more context for what we’re talking about today.
Today, we get to hear about how adding children into the mix has changed everything for this couple. It will come as no surprise to you that parenting is hard, but these two share with us just how exhausting the process really can be. The good news is that with the help of therapy and a healthy dose of love and determination, these two have developed some really fantastic tools for parenting on empty, and well and we’ll get to hear all about those.
As I mentioned in the show, Andy is in the solar business, so if you’d like to learn more about solar energy, feel free to contact him directly at 510-740-2714. You can also check out his company at www.sungevity.com.
In other news. we launched a crowdfunding campaign on Patreon. If you like what we’re doing here at Together, please take a look at the the campaign page, and consider donating anything you can easily afford. It makes a huge difference, so thank you!
Welcome to Episode 25!
Andy and Jen are the kind of couple that gives everyone else hope for their own relationship. They’re fun and energized, yet they somehow manage to stay grounded–they’re the kind of couple you can rely on.
And their honeymoon phase seemed to go on forever. How could they be so happy for so long.
How can they hold down two careers and yet show up at every major party in the city? It defied logic. And so this first episode is all about the secret they applied to maintain that combination of stability and adventurous fun for so very long.
On Thursday’s episode, we’ll hear how adding children into the mix changed everything. More on that in due course.
So with that, let’s go to Andy and Jen.
Welcome to Episode 24!
Today’s episode is part two of the Jen and Harmony interview. If you haven’t listened to Tuesday’s show, you should probably go back and do that first, because it will give you some more context for what’s going on today.
To recap, in the last episode, Jen and Harmony shared with us how they met and came together, and then how breaking up ultimately saved their relationship.
Today, we turn to the question of marriage. Now these two aren’t engaged - but they are committed, and they both plan to be together indefinitely. So that always raises the question: why not marry? And before we can answer that, we have to ask what marriage is, actually? What is the commitment we’re making when we take those vows? And why do we bother? These two are in the midst of answering that question, and I think you’ll enjoy listening to their process.
Enjoy the show!
In related news, as you may know, we recently launched a crowdfunding campaign, and we’re getting ready to release some exclusive content their from this very episode! If you like what we’re doing here at Together, please take a look at the the page. Any support you can give is extremely valuable!
Welcome to Episode 23!
This week’s guests - Jen and Harmony - were so much fun to interview that I brought them back for a second round! Today’s episode is the story of how Jen and Harmony first met and fell in love, and then why they broke up and how it changed them both forever. To find out what happened after the breakup, of course you’ve got to listen to the show!
Part two, coming this Thursday - takes a decidedly more philosophical turn - but I’ll leave that introduction for it’s own time!
In other news. we launched a crowdfunding campaign on Patreon.com, and we’re getting ready to release some exclusive content their for contributors. If you like what we’re doing here at Together, please take a look at the the campaign page.
Thanks for listening!
Welcome Episode 22!
Today’s episode is about the ever changing process of forging a non-traditional relationship path. As of today, the relationship that today’s guests–Guru and Stella–have created is loosely in the category of polyamory. It’s the reason for their choice of structure, rather than the structure itself however, that’s fascinating about this story. Enjoy the show!
If you would like to learn more about Guru, you can find his gorgeous photos at his website www.gurufoto.smugmug.com
In other news, I’m excited to say that we created a Patreon campaign! If you like what we’re up to at the Together Show, and you would like to support our efforts, please consider donating any amount that’s easy for you!
Welcome to Episode 21!
Today’s episode is about the ongoing messy and imperfect process of recovering from infidelity. James and Yvette have never spoken publicly about this experience. They wanted to come on the show to give other couples who may be dealing with broken trust some hope for the future. In their view, while the infidelity itself was regrettable, how they ultimately handled it was one of the best things that ever happened to them.
James is now a meditation teacher, and if you would like to learm more about his work, you can find him at http://www.vedicpathmeditation.com/
In other news, we at the Together Show have launched a Patreon campaign. If you like what we’re doing here at Together, please take a look at the the campaign page, and consider donating even a tiny amount to our project. You can find the campaign at www.patreon.com/together. As always, thank you for listening - your support is invaluable.
Welcome to Episode 20!
Part 2 of the Jonathan and Naomi interview. If you haven’t listened to Tuesday’s show, you should probably go back and do that, because it will give you some more context for what we’re talking about today.
To refresh your memory, in the last episode, Jonathan and Naomi shared with us a challenge that seemed rather hopeless at the time.
Today we’ll hear about the structures they’ve put in place to keep their now happy family running smoothly. I know that “structures” sounds like a boring word, but trust me when I tell you, these are good!
Enjoy the show!
Welcome to Episode 19!
Our next two shows were a lot of fun to record. Jonathan and Naomi exemplify the professional urban couple. Jonathan is a startup founder with a long list of hits to his name, and Naomi is a pediatrician and a med school professor at UCSF who manages to both see patients, and publish academic papers. And they have two kids - which is really something to juggle.
So these shows are about parenting. They’re about hard times and good times, and incredibly well thought out time management tools for families. And we even manage to talk about how to still have sex when it seems like there’s no time for anything else anywhere!
We split their interview in two. In part one we hear about the challenge that almost broke these guys, and in part two we’ll hear about the incredibly effective time management tools I mentioned.
Enjoy the show!
Welcome to Episode 18!
Robin Rinaldi is the author of the critically acclaimed and very controversial memoire The Wild Oats Project, One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost. The book chronicles Robin’s story of exploring non-monogamy several years into an otherwise monogamous marriage.
Robin is a long time editor and journalist who has written for the New York Times, the Atlantic, O Magazine and many others. And she is also the managing editor for our very own Together Magazine - which is the sister magazine to this podcast.
On a recent trip to Los Angeles I sat down with Robin to discuss monogamy, polyamory, regret, and yes personal growth.
Robin’s story is a fascinating one, and in this episode we go far beyond her book and tread into the ever changing landscape of sexual morality. We’re lucky to have Robin here at Together; after this interview I think you’ll understand why.
Welcome to Episode 17!
We hear of lot of repeated advice about how we’re supposed to make our relationships work. You’ve got to communicate, you’ve got to build trust and develop teamwork - and you’re never supposed to go to bed angry for some reason.
One of the reasons we created this show is to explore what people really mean when they say these things. Trust, specifically, is quite tricky to pin down. Peter Pearson and Ellyn Bader - the couples therapists in episode 11 did the best job of giving us an academic definition of the term “Trust” so far; today’s couple–Cheryl and Tom Clifford–do the best job of exemplifying it.
Enjoy the show!
Annie and Bobby have been together since 1965. Their marriage is a success by any standard, but it’s amazing they found one another to begin with, because they as they say, they couldn’t have come from two more different worlds. Annie was raised in LA amongst the hollywood elite - in fact she still has the Oscar her daddy won sitting on their mantle at home. Bobby was poor, rural, and black. But they did find one another, and they fell in love, and as they said after the show - somehow they found the guts to be an interracial couple in the 60’s. Now, more than 50 years later they’re still together, and as you’ll hear on the show, they’re still very much in love. Though they wouldn’t make too big a thing of that.
Today’s episode is simply about reflecting on 50 years together.
With that, let’s go to Annie and Bobby Jones.
Welcome to Episode 15!
We passed 10,000 downloads last week, folks, and we’re growing fast! Thank you for listening! If you want to support us at this stage, please subscribe to us on iTunes and leave us an honest review. These are the two ways you can help out the most. Thank you!
Today’s episode is about balance. How do we manage all the passions and obligations and activities in our life? And how do we fit parenting into that already hectic mix?There may not be any one answer, but today’s couple has one good solution and they’re in the process of working out another.
Marie and Alexei can be found at their tattoo shop: http://rosegoldsf.com/, and at their jewelry boutique: http://fiatluxsf.com/.
Enjoy the show!
Welcome to Episode 14!
Part 2 of Akriti and Amandeep’s story. If you haven’t heard yesterday’s episode, you should probably go back and listen—it will give you some context for what’s going on today.
To refresh your memory, yesterday Amandeep and Akriti shared their story of merging their ideas of arranged marriage and love marriage. They also told us about their basic philosophy of bringing love and harmony to conflict situations.
Today we’ll get to hear how they actually deal with conflict as they share with us a fight they hadn’t quite resolved before coming in to record the show.
Let’s go to Akriti and Amandeep!
Welcome to Episode 13!
Today’s episode is the story of how one couple is navigating the challenges of merging two cultures and two forms of marriage into one life.
This is a two-part interview. In today’s episode, we’ll hear how this couple came together and what their cultural merger has looked like. In Thursday’s installment, these two share a fight with us that they haven’t quite resolved, and we get to see how they work it out - at least in part.
Let’s go to Akriti and Amandeep!
Welcome to episode 12!
Today’s show with Molly and Jason is about overcoming conflict by pure raw determination. Molly and Jason were married on the Today Show with Katie Couric, and by all measures, they had the perfect relationship. But what the cameras couldn’t pick up was the intense conflict going on below the surface. In this interview, Molly and Jason share with us what it was like to live that dichotomy, and also how they almost lost their marriage to unresolved conflict. It’s an intense episode, talking about a challenging time in the life of this lovely couple. No relationship is entirely free of conflict, but I’m happy to say these two have reached a point of ease with theirs. Let’s hear how they did it.
For more on Molly & Jason:
Molly's Website: www.MollyMouchka.com
Jason's Business: www.StarWaggons.com
We’re only releasing two episodes this week, and they’re related.
The first episode is part of an interview with a well known therapist couple, Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter Pearson. In the therapy world, these two are celebrities. They created the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy—which is very highly regarded academically. But more importantly, these two are actually married to one another. They have a lot to say about relationships from both the personal and clinical perspective.
The second interview, which we’ll release on Thursday, is with another fascinating couple: Molly and Jason, whose life from the outside looks ideal, but privately they have faced challenges and conflict in their relationship that felt completely hopeless at the time.
We’re putting these two episodes together because they both illustrate the need to face conflict in a relationship directly.
You can find Ellyn and Peter at their website: www.couplesinstitute.com - they have lots of great information for couples on their site, and also provide referalls to couples therapists around the country.
Welcome to Episode 10!
Today’s episode is only a one-parter. We’d love to hear what you thought of the two-part episodes, so let us know.
Today’s couple is fascinating. Brook and Jill wrote a book called The Marriage Test, which recounts the year they spent on—in their words—an awkward, emotional, life-changing adventure. They agreed at the start: If the dates went well they’d spend their lives together; if not, they were through.
You can learn more about their book at TheMarriageTestBook.com, and it’s available on Amazon.
We get to ask them all kinds of fun questions. With that, let’s go to Brook and Jill.
Music:
Open those bright eyes - Kevin MacLeaod of incompetech.com
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Welcome to Episode 9!
Part 2 of Sharon and Alexis’s story.
We’re trying something new this week in an attempt to shorten our episodes. We’re splitting interviews in half, so this is the second installment of one interview. If you haven’t heard yesterday’s episode, you should probably go back and listen—it will give you more context.
Now to refresh your memory, yesterday Sharon and Alexis discussed how they decided to become business partners even though they’re mother and daughter, how they’re also best friends, and how none of that seems the least bit odd to either of them.
Today, they’re going to tell us about what it’s like to have fights in this context.
For more info on Sharon & Alexis' business, visit http://www.borrowedwisdom.com/
Welcome to Episode 8!
We’re trying something new this week in an attempt to shorten our episodes. We’re splitting interviews into two parts. I would love your feedback about whether this works, so let us know what you think.
Now to today’s interview. I’m very excited because it’s the first ever non-romantic couple we’ve ever had on the show. I I didn’t think we were going to do this in the first season, but when I met Sharon and Alexis, I knew we had to interview them.
The reason is, these two aren’t just any old pair of friends—they’re best friends, they’re business partners, and … here’s what blew my mind: they’re mother and daughter! I know—crazy. Can you imagine going into business with your parent, or with your child for that matter? Me neither.
But these two make it work, and being in business with family has some distinct advantages that I never considered: unconditional love chief among them.
In today’s installment we’ll hear how Sharon and Alexis decided to partner up in business, and some of the struggles that involves given their relationship. Tomorrow we’ll hear about what their fights look like, and what’s different about fighting with a business partner who is also a parent or a child.
Welcome to Episode 7!
As a reminder, we’re trying something new this week: splitting interviews into two episodes. We’d love to hear what you think about this format, so let us know! If you didn’t listen to yesterday’s show, you should probably go back and do that first— it will give you some context for what’s going on.
Yesterday David and Kate shared with us what it’s like to come to polyamory after having started out in a monogamous relationship. I ended with a question about whether Kate can really be happy for David when he’s sleeping with another woman, and we’ll start today with her answer to that question.
Today we’ll also hear from these two about their insights into anger.
You can find Kate’s website at http://www.kateniebauer.com/
Welcome to Episode 7!
We’re trying something new this week. We’re splitting several interviews into two episodes, and this is one of them. We’d love to hear what you think about this format, so let us know!
Today’s couple - David and Kate are a delightfully self aware. They’re currently polyamous, and they have a lot of very considered comments about that relationship structure - I think you’ll learn a lot from them about this.
What impacted me more than their polyamory, however, were Kate’s insights about anger. Many of our guests have been thoughtful on the subject of anger, but Kate has a depth of understanding in this area that blew me away. I’m curious to find out if it impacts you as deeply, so please let me know. The comments section on the website is a great way to do this - I check it regularly.
This first installment of this interview is primarily about polyamory - tomorrow we’ll hear from Kate and David about Anger.
You can find Kate’s website at http://www.kateniebauer.com/
Welcome to Episode 5!
Folks, this couple asked us to take their episode down, so we've replaced it with our teaser. Sorry for any confusion, and thanks for listening!
Hello and welcome to episode four!
I’ve known Joshua since the 8th grade when I was a dork and he was one of the cool kids - and frankly I was just happy he talked to me. That said, he was always the wise one among us.
It’s no surprise that Josh found Stuart - the two of them, as you’ll hear, are an exceptionally thoughtful pair. What makes this episode special is the vulnerability that these two share letting us into their personal lives. These are private men, and this is a rare glimpse.
These guys share a lot in this show in the interest of transparency. As they told me later, that’s the whole point.
Enjoy the show!
Music:
As I Figure Kevin Mcleod (http://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Who Likes to Party Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Welcome to Episode 3!
We’ve all heard the story of the young couple that gets married right out of college and then everything falls apart. Well Britta and Blake followed that plan, but they’re still together!
Today’s episode is an exploration of the very useful paradigm that these two live, and that has kept them together for over ten years already, even though they’re barely out of their twenties!
Enjoy the show!
Music:
Sfioro Roberto Billi (via http://freemusicarchive.org) - Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Welcome to Episode Two!
JenJen and Noah are a relatively new couple, so in this episode we hear their story from the beginning, and we’ll see what it took for them to decide whether they wanted to be married in the first place.
But more importantly, these two have taken to heart the idea that they can have any marriage they want! That may sound like a cliche, but you must admit, there is immense pressure to conform in any society - and ours is no exception. These two buck trends.
I’m not going to give away how exactly they do that - for that you have to listen to the show. I’ll just say - these guys are in uncharted waters, and it takes courage.
Enjoy the show!
Music:
Cut and Run Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
Welcome to the first episode!
Our guests for this show, Hans and Desiree Phillips, really exemplify the work of relationships - which makes them perfect guests for our kick off. These two have been together for 27 years, they have been through it all, and they just keep getting stronger!
In this episode Hans and Desiree discuss how they have overcome some of the most difficult issues any couple ever faces and keep coming out more in love than ever.
Enjoy the show!
You can find Hans Phillips at http://ontoco.com
You can find Desiree Phillips at http://glowpower.net
Music
Disco con Tutti Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
A brief introduction to The Together Show, along with clips from upcoming episodes. The Together Show with Erik Newton debuts February 16, 2016!