Rumours Of Worship: Recent Episodes
Rumours Of Worship
I wrote this one Monday morning. It was not long after a time of fasting (intentionally going without food for a period, often accompanied by prayer) where positive changes had occurred in me – quite naturally and almost effortlessly.
After some weeks, though, “tentacles” began very slowly to pull me towards reversing the changes. It felt like time to embrace a firm “no” – perhaps even with “anger” – as in standing immovable on what I know is good for me and thus for those who live in my sphere of influence. This writing is my “no”.
This is really Part 2 of The Prime of Life. If you feel inclined, by all means read that piece first.
Keeping it Lean – PDFDownloadKeeping it Lean – WordDownloadThe post Keeping it Lean first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
The occasion for writing this short story came as I had an unstructured hour or so. I had some issues in my head and no real inspiration. I intended to write about duty, as seen in the opening lines of the piece. I was part way through when a different story formed. Sadly I was interrupted, and needed to engage in the practicalities of life, but by then I had the new sense of the story and so wrote the rest of it four days later.
As I wrote, my heart began to be changed. The lens I was looking through sharpened the focus and I ended up, like the lad in the story, thinking differently.
I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed the process and therapy of writing it.
The Glass Ceiling – PDFDownloadThe Glass Ceiling – WordDownloadThe post The Glass Ceiling first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
The idea for this piece of writing formed after contemplating interactions with others over a number of years. I don’t say it is well thought out, rather it is a current view on a long-term difficulty that I have experienced. If you have experienced this challenge whilst getting to know people and being known, my heart is sad with you.
I do believe, however, that the Truth sets us free, and so facing this struggle, in fact, makes me feel more free, despite some sadness.
Ah…. I thought we were friends – PDFDownloadAh…. I thought we were friends – WordDownloadThe post Ah…. I thought we were friends first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote this piece after being privileged to attend a talk by Dr Gabor Maté on “The Myth of Normal.” He asked us to engage with his talk and weigh it up by listening with our heads, our hearts and our gut. He reminded us that there are neural connections between these areas and so in a very real sense we can receive important input from all three of these parts of ourselves.
This way of thinking makes sense to me and lines up with other thinkers of this day and age. This piece of writing is part of my way of processing.
I am one … or am I? – PDFDownloadI am one … or am I? – WordDownloadThe post I am one … or am I? first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote this piece of prose a little while back after a wonderful afternoon nap. For the last number of years we have enjoyed the afternoon “Nana Nap”.
I struggled for many years to fall asleep. It may well have started back at boarding school. After it became a real issue to me, I decided to investigate how to fall asleep more easily. There are some great techniques out there. I took them seriously and employed them diligently. I am pleased to say that I now regularly fall asleep well and quite naturally ;).
I have also been privileged to laugh in my sleep on occasion, sometimes to the surprise of my Dearly Beloved, Tanya. On other occasions when I am falling asleep I feel a “tickle” inside me. It is a truly joyous feeling. It reminds me of moments when I have felt God so close and affectionate that I begin to feel child-like and contented – like my neck is being nuzzled by someone who loves me. The most appropriate response for me is to gently laugh.
My hope is that this piece of prose will convey the privilege of experiencing the deeply satisfying moment of falling asleep without effort… and then waking refreshed; ready to face the next moment.
I hope to add an audio version of this prose over music in the near future. Awaiting inspiration ….
Napping: Sleeping and Waking – PDFDownloadNapping: Sleeping and Waking – WordDownloadThe post Napping: Sleeping and Waking first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
This is the first creative piece I have written in a Creative Writing journal I was recently given. Perhaps it is an important reminder for this whole journal and time:
While you have life, there are important things that need your attention.
Creative writing is part of what I need to do. Music is another part. Knowing my heart and making space in it is another.
I hope you find the next important thing you need to attend to.
There is a Part 2 to this called Keeping it Lean
The Prime of Life… – PDFDownloadThe Prime of Life… – WordDownloadThe post The Prime of Life… first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I have been privileged to teach at He Puaawai Young Parents’ Centre for the last number of years. I teach Science and Maths to some of the bravest, most resilient humans I have ever met. Much could be said about so many of them, but as they know, if I say too much I may (read “will”) start to cry. It’s not that it is so sad, although there are some things to be sad about , it’s that despite the complications of being a young mum, here they are. Here they stand. I am beyond proud to be associated with them.
This poem is a small token of my feelings towards them over these years.
A young mother with her young child – PDFDownloadA young mother with her young child – WordDownloadFor those who want to know more about He Puaawai Young Parents’ Centre, see the following:
Lots of Little Fires text
Lots of Little Fires documentary – 7-minute video
2-hour 2-part documentary shot over 1 year at He Puaawai – you may struggle to watch this if you are not in New Zealand.
The post A young mother with her young child first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote this poem while feeling somewhat sad at giving away a beautiful gift that a dear friend, Wambali Mkandawire, gave me. He was a musician who I was privileged to play with in a touring band back in 1984-5. He sadly passed away from Covid-19 in 2021. I never really used the hardwood, hand crafted back-scratcher, but I always valued it as a thoughtful gift for life in hot climates like Malawi, where Wambali was from. I had several small wooden gifts from him and I have kept others, but I concluded that this gift had done it’s job and it was time to send it on to a new owner. I gave it away in the generous spirit of my older-brother-example friend who gently taught me how to travel in this life – just by his example. I gave it away with sadness. Sadness at the loss of a friend. I am glad to have known you, Wambali.
The audio is kindly read by my Dearly Beloved, Tanya, who is reading over a Song of the Day that she recorded on her phone back on 5 June 2024. Incidentally, on the day she recorded it, she named this piece of music, amazingly appropriately “When We Remember”. She has many such pieces on her phone. When I asked her about reading the poem over a piece of music, she listened through a number of these and felt this one would work; it carries undertones of wistfulness and of something being lost.
We explored her working out what she originally played and then recording it “properly” with mics on our lovely Bernstein grand piano, but decided we could use it “as is”; we loved the way it was played.
Passed Friends – a poem – PDFDownloadPassed Friends – a poem – WordDownloadThe post Friends Passed first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
On the first Saturday in December last year I woke again before the rest of the household. It was the day after I had said goodbye to my students for the year.
The previous night we had done “church” at our house and my heart was still soft from a beautiful time of tender worship with dear friends. My sense, when I woke up that morning, was that I would like to spend more of my life-force, my focus, noticing that God is near.
My Best Prayers – PDF formatDownload My Best Prayers – Word formatDownloadThe post My Best Prayers first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
A few weeks back I woke up earlier than the rest of the house.
I decided to use the “extra” time as a moment to look at my phone note where I keep ideas that might inspire a “story”. In this case, four days prior I had an idea. Those brief notes form the basis of this story. Three hours later, by the time the rest of the house woke up, I had this short story.
I did wonder if there was a book here. I have several ideas for other interactions. At this point I have let it stand as it is.
Kind thanks to my close friends and family who are my first encouraging readers as well as giving me feedback.
There is but One Bus – PDF formatDownloadThere is but One Bus – Word formatDownloadThe post There is but One Bus first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
Here is another piece that I wrote in 2017, but have only published years later. It is another exploration in G, but this time it is expressed on my Yamaha nylon string Silent Guitar (SLG11N). We have created a new category called “Somewhat Undercooked” for pieces like this; they needed a little more work, but are going to be put out there a little underdone. It’s okay, lots of life it like that. I like to do things well, but sometimes you have to give your offering away “as is”, and this is such a piece.
Jesus said that if we follow him the burdens of life would be light. He claimed that we can pull the heavy loads in life easily – with him alongside. Sadly, many (most?) of us Christians find that the travelling is hard and heavy – somehow we haven’t travelled in this “light” way. This song is one that points to the hope of Resting in the journey, of finding the “unforced rhythms of grace”. Perhaps as you listen, you may hear a whisper … “peace dear heart …come apart and rest awhile”.
The post Resting first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote this piece one evening a couple of weeks ago. I was feeling somewhat distressed about certain things I was reading in the news as well watching friends and family struggling with a variety of issues and personal complex situations. I quite often find myself in this place where I think ‘…nothing makes sense…..!’
In those moments I am so grateful that I get to journey alongside Ian. And I am also so grateful to Jesus for being present, even if there are no direct answers and I still don’t have a sense of anything making sense.
(The sounds heard in the background are from my grand-daughter’s bathtime moment – sometimes one just has to take the time one can get to record!)
The post When Nothing Makes Sense first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote these three pieces in February 2017. Since then they have sat on the desktop on my computer “awaiting further decision”. Six and a half years later, it’s time to put them out there.
I had thought I might consider the ideas and then make one piece out of the three, but I would then have to re-learn how to play them. I also felt that each of the three have their own merit and so here they are. There are some common motifs. I suppose it reflects me heart; some regular themes and heart cries , along with plenty of daily variation.
If you want to know how to play them have a look at the video. It is not exactly any of the pieces, but contains some of the themes and the harmonics in the one version. I loved playing my Guild again. Two of the pieces are recorded with just the guitar pickup and the other is the pickup with a Shure Beta 57A (apologies for the “hiss” – working on it – I didn’t take care of the gain).
Heart-Acoustic-Explorations-in-G-3DownloadJust some of the key ideasThe post Heart – Acoustic explorations in G first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I wrote this piece of music around May 2022. Similar to my “Hope in the Midst” piece, I composed the steel string acoustic part and played it in using my Guild. I then more or less improvised the nylon string part (Yamaha Silent guitar). Both parts are one take, so they are not perfect. The chords are in the document below, with the shapes at the bottom.
I named this piece “The Sun will Rise” because as I closed my eyes and listened to the finished piece, I felt that there is always hope, and the sunrise reminds me of this. Also, you could sing “The sun will rise” along with the first 4 notes of the nylon string. Perhaps there is a poem to be written.
“Let there be Light”. For darkness to be removed, you just need light, any amount of light removes all darkness that is around the light. We can be light in this world – a bit like the Sun or the Son. So, sunrise is good.
The-Sun-will-Rise-1Download(Thanks once again to Andrew, our son, for his Mastering skills.)
Below is a brief video of similar parts to the ones that I played in the steel string acoustic track. I hope that helps. I often take videos to remind myself of what I play as I compose. The steel-string track is more developed than what I play in the video, but it’s similar. Like in my “Hope in the Midst” post, this piece of music also has the nylon string guitar tuned. See the comments on that post.
IMG_4489DownloadThe post The Sun Will Rise first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I started writing this song all the way back in September 2022. I can’t really remember how it happened. Usually I pick up my acoustic guitar and along comes a “rumour of worship”. In this case, I sensed it was a kind of “song” or perhaps a “piece” of music. I recorded my Guild acoustic and then felt there was another part to play. I played around a little and, if my memory serves, I mostly improvised a “melody” on my Yamaha silent nylon string.
The melody echoes that sad start to the song. The first part of the song is in a minor key, and then later it moves to a major key – hence the “hope in the midst” title. For a long time it was titled “C#m acoustic”. My dearly beloved encouraged me to see what the song might be about. As I listened to the ending, which moves to the key of E, I felt hope. The harmonics at the end reflect that “Dear Heart” call from a loving Father to us, or perhaps “Yes, hope” to someone who has lost their way or … have a listen and see what you hear. I have every confidence that we are being spoken to often, and with love, we just need to listen better.
Technical Notes:
Special thanks to our son, Andrew, who is practising his Mastering skills. It has improved the recordings substantially. Also, I did “tune” some of the nylon string melody. I love Yamaha’s guitars, but this particular one was bought on special in Japan and sadly it was poorly made; the bridge was in the wrong place. I have since had it moved, but the intonation was out for the original recording – hence the use of pitch correction.
Hope-in-the-MidstDownloadThe post Hope in the Midst first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
When I sat down at the piano last night, this piece of music slowly leaked out of my fingers onto the piano keys. I struggled to find the title, but then it came to me in the night – Suspended. This piece captures for me the feeling I have when I feel suspended between the physical and spiritual world, between hope and reality, between the calm and the storm. It sometimes feels like I am hanging in between what is and what will be – the holding in tension of the here and the not yet, which is a daily occurrence. It is both okay and not okay and yet it just is – somewhere suspended.
The post Suspended first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
The day before my birthday this year I had a moment to do some journaling. Some of you may note that we haven’t been very active on this website for a looooong time. That’s for a lot of reasons, all of which push in the opposite direction to journalling moments.
Despite the struggle to find quiet moments, this day, I found a welcomed lull in my schedule. As I journaled about some hard things around my own brokenness, I realised I was about to write a poem. I literally wrote down one word that I was feeling “grasping” and I knew this would be a poem. After three words I was sure; it’s a poem. I had to edit a little as I wrote, but apart from that it poured out of me.
I didn’t know where it was going, because I didn’t know what was in my heart or what my thoughts or emotions were. As they tumbled out onto the page I began to see what was inside. It feels different when your emotions are on a page, outside of your body. I tried to end the poem several times, but more words came. In the end I came back to the core of what I believe, “I am loved” and “fully known”. So where does that leave me? It leaves me wanting to accept, and particularly in this case, “walk with unfettered grace”. (unfettered: Free from restraint, unchained, unshackled, liberated – with thanks to Wordweb)
In the following few days I changed a couple of words. I then happened to write a short piece of music. While I considered what I should form the piece of music into, I wondered if the poem and the piece were really communicating the same idea. I figured we would try to put the poem to music. Because I can’t easily play the guitar and read a poem (and because I have some laryngitis) I got my dearly beloved to read it while I semi-improvised a piece of music. Like the poem had no “end goal” but formed as I interacted with my own emotions, the end result of the recording was not what either of us planned. It is more like how Tanya and I interacted that gave the result. This is a “one take” song – no rehearsal (not that I am against rehearsing; it’s just not what this moment was about). For the observant amongst you, I finished the piece with an Asus2 chord in the video. As we listened back it felt wrong – too resolved. I overdubbed the last chord to an Esus4, which felt more in line with the complex results of giving grace to others.
This is our first: pdf-Word-audio recording-video post. We hope you find the result uplifting. (Technical issues have prevented us putting up the video at this point.)
Tech note: Ian plays his Guild acoustic, Tanya is reading. We added the recorded sound onto the iPhone video recording because we played with headphones. We recording into our Tascam US 16×8 using Logic X into a Mac computer.
Unfettered-Grace – PDF of words and chordsDownloadThe post Unfettered Grace – A Poem first appeared on Rumours Of Worship.
I actually wrote this piece some time back and meant to go back and finish it off. Any which way, it will now be used in an original production that a friend of mine has written for the school where I have the privilege of teaching. Bethany and Ian fixed up some of the rough […]
This is a simple piece of music that I love playing! It carries some of the wistful feelings – longings, yearnings for life. Sometimes these seem inexpressible and difficult to articulate. They are most felt for me as ‘pangs’ of the heart, not only emotional but physical as well.
This song was written in the first year that we came to New Zealand but took longer to finally get recorded! It captured some of my feelings around leaving ‘old familiar places, faces’ and the fact that ‘now we’re worlds apart, learning to trust our hearts’. However, we all have life to live, dreams to […]
My son was working on a song that required this really cool tuning, CGCGCE. I was doodling around and ended up working on a theme around a few hymns. I kept working on it and eventually played through a mixing desk with some creative reverb. What you hear is one of the many versions that I […]
A couple of years ago a friend of mine wrote a stunning play called ‘The Manhattan Taproom’, for the school where we both teach. It was a play about young women who make a journey to New York to make it in the artistic world in some form or another, be it as a musician, […]
This song was written in response to a friend who lost both her parents in quick succession. I felt an overwhelming sense of compassion for her which was not so much from me but how I felt God felt for her and about her. This was one of those plop-on-the-page songs. I feel it is […]
This song was written for a friend of ours who worked at the same school as us in Taupo. She had had quite a few complications getting into New Zealand with regards lots of red tape. She is a delightful person with an open heart and beautiful eyes. This was written for her for her […]
As is heard in the opening line, I was inspired by the Psalmist in writing this song. Another source of inspiration came from a sermon on the prodigal son, and the idea of God’s extravagant grace which he lavishes upon us. The song went through several iterations over the past year and a half, with […]
This song was written a few years ago but is dedicated to a beautiful friend of mine. Her and I talk a lot about ‘breathing’. I love our deep and meaningful conversations that we manage to have in the business and demands of our teaching jobs. In the mish-mash of our lives we sometimes crowd […]
While thinking and praying for Ngaruawahia (open the food pits) recently I discovered that the history of Ngaruawahia is actually a love story that brought two tribes together. The thought came to me that the King of kings was coming over the mountains to embrace his people. The sweet fragrance of love is His love, […]