Very Good Enough: Recent Episodes
Very Good Enough
Very good is a moving target, but we think you can be a very good (enough) parent if you love your kid, try hard and do your best repair your mistakes. Join mother of three Jess Hover and preschool teacher Layne Deyling Cherland as we swap stories of toddler penis pride and backward diapers, celebrate the days in between celebrations and answer listener questions every week. We are here to take care of the people who take care of children - moms, dads and everyone else! We're pretty new friends, too so, as a bonus, you can listen along as we fall in love in real time.
Jess and Layne take some time to reflect on the conversations we've had with you over the course of this season.
While Very Good Enough is on hiatus, you can still find us in REAL LIFE inside the Very Good Mothers Club community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This episode digs into the isolating world of early parenthood. Jess and Layne explore why connecting with other moms (or literally anyone) is crucial for your mental and physical health and offer practical tips on building your support network.
Learn how to combat "must be nice" syndrome--that creeping resentment towards partners or friends who seem to have it easier--and how friendship can help you identify these feelings and transform them into productive conversations about your needs.
Whether you're a seasoned mom or new to the game, find out how to create meaningful connections and build community.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with
Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Drawing inspiration from a scene in "The Crown," Jess and Layne explore the idea of stepping into your own authority as a parent and trusting yourself to make choices.
Key topics include:
- Dealing with guilt and second-guessing yourself
- The importance of flexibility and learning from experiences
- Communicating confidently with your partner and family members
We offer practical advice on how to build confidence in your choices and accept that mistakes are part of the journey.
Whether you're struggling with mom guilt, feeling overwhelmed by decision-making, or frozen with anxiety about the future, this episode is a reminder that you're uniquely equipped to wear the crown in your own life and motherhood journey.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Jess invites Layne's husband, Conner Cherland, into the studio (it's our living room) for a discussion on time management and life balance. Conner's unique perspective as an artist and entrepreneur offers fresh approaches to common challenges faced by busy moms.
We talk about:
- Practical time management strategies when you're overwhelmed
- How to prioritize your goals (even if your goal is simply "sleep more")
- How to break down large tasks into manageable steps
- Embracing imperfection and celebrating small wins
Layne and Conner share how they navigate gender roles and work toward equity in their relationship. Conner advocates for dads making sure moms get the time and space they need to de-stimulate and connect with themselves so they can identify what they really want. Conner teaches us how to manage our energy throughout the day, and why sometimes doing less can actually help you achieve more.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
With the upcoming election adding extra tension to our lives, Layne and Jess dig into the challenge of maintaining relationships when core beliefs differ.
We discuss:
- How to maintain relationships when we disagree on parenting styles, politics, or worldviews?
- Strategies for having meaningful conversations about sensitive topics
- Navigating family dynamics when personal beliefs evolve over time
- How to approach differences in parenting choices (e.g., co-sleeping, vaccinations)
- Dealing with the impact of social media on our perceptions of others
Learn how to create understanding, set boundaries when needed, and find common ground even when viewpoints clash. Because at the end of the day, if we all love our kids and try hard, we actually have a lot in common.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
You FLOODED our inbox over the last month with responses to our episode, "Fear + Force | Why we're leaving old school discipline styles behind."
This week, Layne digs into your stories and questions.
We cover:
- Is yelling ever ok as a parent?
- How do I get my toddler to listen?
- Is spanking child abuse?
- How to be in charge as the parent while still respecting my child's personhood
- How to manage power struggles with my toddler
- My 3-year-old gives me the silent treatment. What should I do?
And much more!
Huge thank you to everyone who shared their stories and thoughts.
Listen to the original "Fear + Force" episode here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2FcVJJ1VaqsWFyrogKEj8p?si=GAYjpbKURzO_VhtHvLImxg
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Is your little one starting preschool soon? Jess and Layne share their strategies from both the experienced mom and preschool teacher perspectives. Learn how to:
- Prepare your child (and yourself) emotionally for the first day
- Handle separation anxiety and tearful goodbyes
- Communicate effectively with teachers
- Create a smooth drop-off routine
- Understand your child's behavior before and after school
- Use transitional objects to provide comfort
- Connect with other parents and build your own support network
Whether you're feeling excited or anxious about this new chapter, we have you covered with practical strategies, insider knowledge, and empathetic support to make your child's transition to preschool as smooth as possible.
More from us about preschool:
Youtube video from Jess' channel - https://youtu.be/jYchyCQYtzc?si=sxEiAkWpJIedSBiyS1 E2 His First Hard Thing - https://youtu.be/JCBj8odSbkw?si=EKt1LuzaRp2QI0lCS5 E6 Childcare vs. Mom - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5HrZKzYul8hXKYD894s9dS?si=PrMFXGzcRWSa-YG1-Vj8DwBonus | Pooping at preschool - https://open.spotify.com/episode/23Uayk97l6CAr49NrGmh7y?si=ZkvsizQ4Sau4masvqGEKjgBonus | Is preschool important? - https://open.spotify.com/episode/6048h6fxgUWo2EJoTpgTyD?si=XxJnx0pEQmy49wulYgBFoQ
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Join us as we unpack a real-life playground incident and explore why labeling toddlers as 'mean' or 'bullies' misses the mark. We discuss why your little one's pushing or hitting is actually a direct route to getting what they want, not intentional meanness. We offer practical strategies for responding to aggressive behavior, setting boundaries, and teaching better tools. And we address the importance of healthy aggression in child development and how to channel it positively. Whether you're the parent of the 'pusher' or the 'pushed,' this episode offers compassionate insights and actionable tips for navigating this very normal developmental stage.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Today we're answering listener questions about a common parenting challenge: how to respond when your child becomes hyper-focused on YOUR emotions.
We explore:
- Why preschoolers suddenly become aware of and fixated on their parents' feelings
- Navigating situations where your child witnesses your sadness or stress
- The dangers of leaning on your child for emotional support and healthier alternatives
- The importance of modeling healthy emotional regulation
- How to reassure your child while setting boundaries around emotional responsibility
Discover practical strategies to nurture your child's emotional intelligence while maintaining your role as the caregiver in the relationship.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
We know mom's mental health has a huge impact on a child's emotional well-being, but the fact is: a lot of us have anxiety. Or postpartum depression. Or the other kind of depression. We're people. We struggle. So how do you parent well in the midst of mental health challenges? Today, Jess shares her personal journey with medication: what worked, what didn't and how to advocate for yourself in healthcare system. Layne shares how your mental health impacts your child's development and strategies for creating a stable environment, even when you're feeling bad. We address the delicate balance of sharing your emotions with your children, what's appropriate to discuss and what to keep private. Discover practical steps to prioritize your well-being, support your child's growth, and lean on your support system as a mom.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Is the constant power struggle leaving you drained? This week, Layne and Jess look at old-school methods of parenting that rely on fear and force to control children's behavior. We dive into how fear hinders internal motivation and discuss ways to foster cooperation. Jess shares her journey raising a strong-willed child, finding leadership without resorting to dominance.
We discuss:
- The long-term effects of fear-based parenting on adults
- Why compliance shouldn't be our ultimate parenting goal
- How fear-based discipline impacts a child's decision-making skills
- How to maintain parental authority while fostering internal motivation
And ya, we talk a little bit about spanking.
Join us as we share personal struggles, insights, and practical tips for becoming the strong, compassionate leader your child needs.
Previous episodes we mentioned:
Season 3, Episode 11 | Best of Toddler Advice
Season 5, Episode 9 | Less Gentle Parenting
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
In this episode, Jess shares what she learned through surviving cervical cancer about why prioritizing your well-being is crucial for your entire family's health and happiness.
We get into:
- Practical tips for communicating your needs to your partner
- How to identify what you truly need when feeling overwhelmed
- Why mom's wellness is essential for your family's functioning
- Easy ways to incorporate rest into your busy schedule
We explore how to embrace guilt-free rest and share actionable advice for weaving REAL self-care into your daily routine, even with young children. Don't wait until you're sick or burned out – learn to prioritize your needs and create a more balanced, fulfilling life for yourself and your family.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week, Layne and Jess reframe fairness into a more powerful concept: equity, ensuring everyone gets what they need. We offer practical scripts to explain this concept to your child, and discuss how to navigate those inevitable one-toy toddler meltdowns. This episode dives into:
- Why "no fair" complaints emerge around age 3 and how it relates to brain development
- Understanding the difference between fairness and equity
- Emphasizing that parents' needs matter too in family dynamics
- Guiding children through disappointment and unfulfilled wants
- Building resilience and empathy in kids by focusing on meeting diverse needs
- Communicating effectively with your co-parent about family needs
- Prioritizing needs based on your values and current circumstances
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: https://www.enquiryco.com/coaching
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
To kick off Season 6, Jessica and Layne revisit the transformative power of loving your life, even amidst the challenges of raising young children, recovering from cervical cancer and figuring out how to pay bills. Jess introduced us to the mantra "I love my life" in the final episode of last season and while you don't need to hear it to enjoy this episode, it is a conversation that genuinely changed us both and we recommend listening when you can (find the link below)! Today we build on that with a discussion about how to find strength and "love your life" even on your worst days. We share stories about times in our lives when things "went good" instead of going bad. We offer encouragement about how to trust that the dark times are part of a story that's worth loving and that good things will continue to come in your life.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Season 5, Episode 12: I Love My Life | How to stop waiting and start loving your life now - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/JXo2kMmICKb
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
Jess is back to give us an update on her cervical cancer surgery and recovery. We take some time to reflect on the past few months and the conversations we shared with you. Thanks for listening! We'll be back in a bit. In the meantime, binge your favorite episodes and TELL YOUR FRIENDS!
Follow us @verygoodenoughpod for updates during the break!
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
In this episode, Jess and Layne face one burning question: how can you truly love your life RIIGHT NOW? We discuss the trap of waiting for our circumstances to change before we can live a life we love and our tendency to overlook our wins, constantly moving the goalposts, missing the opportunity to celebrate our accomplishments. From recognizing the dreams you've already achieved (like becoming a mom!) to finding joy in the daily grind of motherhood, this conversation is all about the power of a simple shift in perspective – deciding to love your life now, rather than waiting for it to change in the future. Because that dream life you want? You might just be living it already!
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
In this episode, we dive into the importance of being direct and clear when communicating with your toddler. Say goodbye to the endless search for the "right" parenting language or trying to follow every expert's advice. We discuss why using straightforward language and saying what you mean can strengthen your connection with your child, build trust, and reduce frustration for both of you. Discover how prioritizing clarity over trendy parenting lingo can make your interactions more authentic and effective. We explore practical tips for being real with your toddler in the moment, without getting caught up in the latest parenting trends or trying to find the perfect phrasing. Unlock the power of direct communication and foster a deeper understanding with your little one.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:
“As a child I definitely didn’t have some of my emotional needs met, and was shamed for my distress about this. A lot of this centered about me wanting to be with my mum while she was unavailable (through choice not necessity). So now I try to be really available to my children. My oldest found it super hard to give me any kind of space, and my second is currently going through that too. And I don’t know how to own my own space and needs and desires while not feeling like I’m rejecting their needs (and making them into people pleasers because they have to work around my needs).“
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Are you afraid of failing as a parent? Jess and Layne get real about their deep fears of public failure and share wisdom on why failing fast is a gift. We explore how being willing to fail is essential for building the lives we want, and why falling is a non-negotiable part of learning. Jess shares how feelings of failure during postpartum led her to create YouTube videos documenting her journey, and eventually this parenting community. We dive into celebrating failures alongside successes for better mental health, finding peace when others criticize you, and overcoming the fear that failing means you're a bad parent / person. Layne provides tips for reparenting your inner critic that emerges when you don't live up to your own expectations.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week Layne and Jess discuss the trend of gentle parenting content on social media that might be missing the mark. Is it sometimes just permissive parenting in disguise? We explore why strong leadership and clear boundaries are crucial for raising happy and secure children. We get into why toddlers might secretly be RELIEVED when you tell them "no", and how setting limits with love actually shows your child how much you care. Listen for tips on how to be the firm AND gentle leader your child needs, without turning into the "mean mom" or "scary dad."
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:
Random preschool question for you - what happens when kids poop at school? Do the teachers help wipe their booties? Or do they have to do it themselves? 😂 Sorry if this is TMI but my son is 3 and I want to send him to preschool next year but don't see him being able to handle that on his own yet.
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
In this authentic (and kind of messy conversation), Jess and Layne revisit our exploration of body image. We ask questions like, "What does it truly mean to be sexy?" and, "How can women cultivate genuine confidence?" Jess shares a profound realization from experiencing cancer: how precious it is to be alive in a body, irrespective of its shape or size. We challenge our own misconception that thinness equals health and happiness and talk about how to treat our bodies with radical kindness and compassion. Jess passionately asserts that women possess an innate beauty and advocates for a shift in focus from external appearances to the rich experiences our bodies enable us to have.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:
I am 32. I have an 8 month old daughter. I live with my long term partner who is her father. He has two children aged 12, boy, and 8, girl, that live primarily with their mother, but we have them over every other weekend. Though my partner and I have made a multitude of opportunities to better co-parent, there has been no success. We don't agree with the bad habits that they acquire while with their mother and have set boundaries at our house as best we can for the small amount of time they are with us. My question is, do you have any advice on dealing with a tricky co-parenting relationship? And also, how do I protect my own daughter from picking up any of these habits from her siblings?
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Book a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
We had the BEST time talking to Claire Edwards, mom of two known for being very funny on TikTok, about why the internet's negative portrayal of parenting isn't telling the whole story. Claire opens up about how scared she was to become mom because the internet made it look terrible (think: videos of moms having a breakdown in the Target parking lot).
Claire shares why she's loving motherhood in spite of her negative expectations, ways parenthood has helped her grow as a person and why being a mom has made her more committed to being herself. Jess and Claire draw on their own online journeys to share tips about how to sift through internet parenting content in a healthy way.
Claire's baby son joined as a special guest so you'll hear some of the cutest noises ever throughout the interview.
Find Claire on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theclairenecessities?lang=en
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question is in response to our previous episode "Toddlers Can't Share | Why forced sharing leads to people pleasing":
I have a 2.5yo and an almost 4yo, and they sometimes snatch toys etc but often the play nicely, so I'm not always watching - so what if they are fighting over a toy and I didn't see 'who had it first'? What do you do in that instance if you don't know who was playing with it first? My girls don't understand 'who had it first' as Leah (my 4yo) would think she had it first if she had it yesterday and my Kayleigh (2.5yo) just gets caught in the middle of it all poor thing, when she might have had it first.
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.comBook a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Is daycare bad for my child? This episode tackles common childcare concerns like developmental benefits and choosing the right program. We explore the effects of childcare at different ages, from infancy to preschool, and answer your burning questions:
- Does preschool impact school readiness?
- What's the difference between daycare and preschool?
- What questions to ask when choosing a program?
- How long is too long for a day of childcare?
- How to support your child after daycare?
Discover the truth behind the "stay-at-home mom vs. daycare" debate and how to find the perfect childcare fit for your family's unique needs.
Want more? Check out this previous episode: Is Preschool Important? https://open.spotify.com/episode/6048h6fxgUWo2EJoTpgTyD?si=r06reM9STPSzmLE14WTkPA
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question is in response to our previous episode "Whole Brain Child | How to boost your child's brain development":
Question 1. I have a 3 year old (will be 4 in May) who I would love to figure out better. I feel like I kinda failed him when it comes to the regulating emotion piece. I used to (and still often do) get very flustered at his big emotions. I wish I would have been better at staying calm and helping him get back to the upstairs brain but I feel like my response probably made it worse for him. I would sometimes let out a loud scream or get angry with him… basically just handle the emotions in the worst way. I still often find myself going there but now at least I notice myself doing it before it gets “outside” of my brain/body. So my question- is there something I should do/say/practice with him when those big emotions come up? I don’t want him to grow up stuffing scary emotions deep down because that’s how I grew up.
Question 2. Kinda piggybacking on the last question, I feel like I have a VERY hard time moving my own brain from the downstairs up once I’m in the “basement”… tips for adults?
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.comBook a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Do you get praised for being "easy" or "going with the flow" but deep down, feel exhausted? Us, too. In this episode, we explore the hidden costs of people pleasing. We discuss how this behavior is rooted in childhood experiences and the belief that our needs are a burden. We unpack the connection between people pleasing and codependency, and how we often absorb discomfort to keep others happy. We delve into the fear of being selfish and the challenge of advocating for ourselves. Finally, we share practical steps, based on our own experiences, to help you reconnect with your needs, find your voice, and start setting healthy boundaries. Learn how to break free from people pleasing and allow yourself to be supported by the people who care about you.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week the girls chat about Layne's viral reel on why sharing is not developmentally appropriate for toddlers and how forcing them to share actually leads to people pleasing tendencies in adulthood. We discuss how conflict avoidance and the fear of being judged affect parenting choices. We lay out more age-appropriate ways to help toddlers negotiate shared space and materials, how to support healthy boundaries for children and how to help them regulate the difficult feelings of wanting something you can't have right away. We cover what to do when a child hoards all the toy dinosaurs, taking turns on the swing set, setting timers and so, so much more.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:Trying to find the balance of how to encourage a timid toddler to try new things while not pushing too hard. Things as simple as going down a bigger slide at the playground, trying a new food, or jumping off the side of the pool into dad's arms. How can we foster bravery in our (especially extra timid) toddler while not pushing too hard?
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.comBook a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
This week Layne breaks down how a child's brain is wired, how it grows and how learning a little bit about it helps us raise calmer, happier kids. Different parts of a child's brain develop at different speeds and understanding these differences can reveal how to help your child through difficult feelings, how to respond to outbursts and how to support their growth into mentally well adults. Learning about brain development is the #1 tool that helped Layne crack the code on toddler behavior, become less frustrated and feel equipped to develop strong, trusting relationships with her students. She's not a neuroscientist so this conversation happens in simple, friendly language without a lot of technical terms (because she doesn't know them).
The book we discuss: The Whole-Brained Child by Daniel Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson - https://a.co/d/4TqK1vS
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:How to honor your child's own developmental rhythm and stop comparing to other children
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.comBook a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Quigley Goode joins for this JUICY 🍊 convo about reclaiming your identity and charting your own course without letting the world define you. She shares her journey from being on American Idol to leaving music and pursuing a career in social media and fashion. We dive deep into her motherhood journey from a pandemic pregnancy and absolutely CRAZY birth story to quarantining in the hospital with a Covid positive newborn to weening a breastfeeding toddler AND weening herself off SSRIs at the same time. Finally, Quigley shares her vision to return to music and become the first 35-year-old mom pop star: "If it hasn't been done, that means you're the one to f*cking do it!" We left this conversation madly inspired--tune in for a big ol' dose of empowerment!
Find Quigley on Intagram @officiallyquigley
Share thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This week's listener question:My daughter seems to have anger as a default emotion lately (crying emoji). There's no build up to her screaming. It's like everything she feels is a huge, shrill scream and it causes such a visceral reaction in me. I feel like there's nothing that seems to get her to stop screeching with rage.
Email your questions to verygoodenoughpod@gmail.comBook a 1:1 coaching session with Layne: enquiryco.com/coaching
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Welcome back! We are starting Season 5 with a juicy, sweet, vulnerable conversation between two friends (plus you).
We get an update on the "C" word about Jess' upcoming surgery (if you missed her cervical cancer announcement, check it out on Youtube). Then Layne shares about the loss of her job which leads to a conversation about what it means to believe in yourself, how to stay the course when your life's direction feels unsteady, and how to trust yourself enough to move forward. There are confessions of impostor syndrome, encouragements to let go of old stories about yourself, and questions of faith & spirituality.
There is also some swearing, so pop in a headphone if you're listening with kids around.
Share your thoughts or ask a question - verygoodenoughpod@gmail.com
Learn more about Layne's new TANTRUMS MASTERCLASS: enquiryco.com/mastertantrums
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month): https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/share/7ah7WID0giU77Bz0?utm_source=manual!
Find us on Instagram:
Jess - @jess_hover
Layne - @enquiryco
This episode is a curated collection of the best toddler parenting advice we've given on the podcast so far. We cover topics like:
-Why is my toddler constantly testing me?
-Does my toddler understand discipline?
-Why toddlers are actually the best
-How to empower your strong-willed child
-What to do if your toddler is aggressive with the new baby
-How to manage tantrums
...and lots more. Come for the funny stories and practical advice, stay for the tears and encouragement at the end.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Apropos of nothing, we recorded a spontaneous conversation about our experiences with and thoughts on various kinds of contraception. We talk about IUDs, the pill, condoms, the pullout method, vasectomies and even a little bit of religious abstinence. It's by far our funniest episode yet and dare we say, sexiest? We really, really want you to hear it BUT we also really, really don't want our parents to hear it. So we've dropped you a little teaser and you can find the full episode at the link below:
https://verygoodmothersclubhouse.com/posts/41965752
If you're not already a member of Very Good Mothers Club, this is great opportunity to get in there, use your free trial week to hear this episode and join us for a live call on the fourth Tuesday of the month!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week Jess and Layne reveal why we named the podcast Very Good Enough. Jess talks about founding Very Good Mothers Club on the belief that a very good mom is someone who loves their kid and tries. Layne walks us through the Donald Winnicott's concept of "the good enough mother" and why being a good enough parent is better for your kids than being a perfect one (there's a real reason and it's not just because perfect parenting is a MYTH - which it is).
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"How to help my husband with this tone while parenting our two-year-old. They butt heads a lot lately."
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
This week Lily Hagen joins to talk about the beauty and challenges of raising multicultural kids. She shares why it's important to equally value both cultures in her home (Colombian and American) and how she has learned to respect that her kids' experience of their culture will be different from her own. She gives us tons of advice about how to teach your child a new language in a context that is fun and interesting to them and what to do when you encounter resistance to learning. We dive into what children gain from early exposure to different cultures and just how much becoming multilingual can benefit their lives.
Bio:
Lily Hagen is the CEO and Founder of Lingo Plaza, a company that empowers families to raise bilingual and bicultural children through community and educational resources — including live Spanish lessons with tutors from Latin America.
Lily experienced firsthand the struggles that parents and children face with foreign-language and cultural education. When she realized there was no appropriate tool or platform to address these pain points, she teamed up with technology experts and parents from multiple cultural backgrounds to create Lingo Plaza.
More from Lily:
Website - https://lingoplaza.com
Free Lesson - https://airtable.com/shrAZcg9g75eKJe5I
IG - @lingoplazaofficial
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"Struggling to figure out how many babies to have (financially limited?) and when to try for another? Advice?"
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
Communications expert Dr. Nafeesah Allen is here to help us through a tricky topic: how do we stay connected with the people we love when our beliefs are different? She talks about how to communicate loving boundaries with grandparents and in-laws, how to navigate different faiths within your marriage and how focusing on shared values can keep you on the same team. Jess and Nafeesah connect over their experiences of living abroad and share thoughts about the differences between motherhood in the U.S. and other countries.
Ways to connect with Nafeesah:
Website: https://www.nafeesahallen.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drnafeesahallen/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theblaxpat/
Bilingual Children's Books: https://thirdculturekiddos.com/books/
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Bio:
Dr. Nafeesah Allen is a multi-passionate and multilingual communications professional who wears many hats. She is a migration scholar, children's books author, and multicultural communications expert, who transformed her trauma from pregnancy discrimination into a new relationship with parenting, wealth, and serial entrepreneurship.
In just two years, she scaled her freelance writing hobby to a 6-figure editorial content and strategy company, complete with several successful blogs (Third Culture Kiddos, Preggy Finance, and Black History Bookshelf) and an exciting roster of ghostwriting clients.
This week's listener question:
"My two-year-old makes me MAD. I'm not an angry person but I feel like I am a monster for what I think in my head. "
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
This week Kay de Veer of Techwise Littles offers her insight into how to navigate screen time for children in safe and healthy way. We get into how much screen time is appropriate for toddlers, which devices are least risky for kids to interact with and the all-important question: how to handle tech-related tantrums. We cover guidelines for choosing high-quality and age-appropriate content for your child and how your presence affects their tv-watching experience, both emotionally and developmentally. Kay gives us some extremely comforting advice and very practical, doable tips for building a healthy relationship with screens in your home.
Ways to connect with Techwise Littles:
Website - techwiselittles.com
Instagram - @techwiselittles
Free guide - 5 Ways to End Tech Tantrums Before They Ever Begin
Course - The ABC's of Scree Time
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"I'd love your perspective on transitioning to daycare (mum returning to work), how it impacts my child and how to stay connected with reduced time together."
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
Jenny Tucker joins us this week in a powerful conversation about the rawness of postpartum and a mother's journey into becoming her own advocate. Jenny leads Centerline Community, a support network for mothers in Santa Barbara. She shares about unprocessed trauma from her first birth and how she fought to keep her and her baby's needs at the center the next time around. We discuss the decades-long effort to reverse a ban on VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarian) at Santa Barbara's Cottage Hospital and what the future of pregnancy, birth and motherhood could look like for our daughters.
Find Jenny at www.centerlinecommunity.com and @centerlinecommunity on Instagram
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"I'd love to hear your thoughts on sleep routines and sleep training."
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
This week we invite Dr. Sam Rader to teach us about the specific developmental needs children have in their newborn, infant and toddler windows so that we can confidently meet them. After many years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Sam developed her own healing modality called Source Code which helps adults shift out the negative patterns created in their own early childhoods and she has a lot of wisdom to offer about how we can prevent these patterns from developing in our children now. We also talk about what is "good enough" when it comes to parenting, what generational cycles really are and how to break them, and why healing ourselves heals our kids.
If you want to learn more about Sam's work, she recommends you start by taking her "Discover Your Top Coping Style" Quiz.
Find Sam at www.drsamrader.com and @drsamrader on Instagram.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"I am on the cusp of starting as a preschool teacher. I have over 8 years of teaching under my belt and the youngest so far has been this past year as a 1-3 grade art teacher. Recently, the preschool teacher offer fell into my lap and I’m taking it and not without a bucket of nerves. Having my own toddler I know how amazing and tricky this age group can be. I am wondering what wise nuggets you can offer someone starting out as a teacher with this age group? Are there specific ways to bolster patience? My daughter will be in my class with me as well and I’m wondering if you could offer advice on setting healthy boundaries in the classroom and navigating mom vs. teacher?"
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
This episode was a masterclass in transitions for US - we set out to talk about how to manage emotional life transitions and then we were interrupted and had to handle real-time transitions 3 times during this recording! If you are facing a major life transition and feeling big feelings about it, this one is for you. We explore why transitions are so hard, all the fear as we approach the new thing and what tools we have found to help ourselves know it's going to be okay. Each of us shares specific stories about the many times our lives have changed and what we wish we could tell our younger selves about how these life experiences changed us for the better. We give advice about how to stay calm and set realistic expectations during stressful times. We do our best to offer practical support to help you thrive through whatever circumstance you are in and also send you a LOT of love.
The documentary Jess mentions - Stutz on Netflix
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question: "Am I still a good mother if I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom?" Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)! Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
Today Layne asks Jess all about her birth stories. We talk about how it feels when childbirth doesn't go as planned and how different every single birth story is. Jess shares about the difference between her first birth and her second, her reasons for medicated vs. unmedicated births and what it was like to be pregnant overseas. She explains the how and why of changing doctors in the middle of a pregnancy and what she thinks you should know about C-sections. She also shares her experience of having two babies super close together, how close she came to having a baby in the car on a Los Angeles freeway and how she navigated the uncertainty of three weeks in the NICU with her youngest.
The book Layne references: And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready by Meaghan O'Connell
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"Do I have ADHD?"
This question came from our friend on Instagram but we've also been hearing from friends in real life and seeing lots of adult ADHD content across social media. Tune in to hear what we think about it...
HERE is the link to the podcast episode Jess references in this conversation.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
This week we welcome our first guest on the pod! Dani Roy is perinatal nutritionist who Layne has worked with to manage her depression and anxiety. She specializes in the time period two years before getting pregnant through two years postpartum. Dani walks us through the connection between your mental health and the foods you eat. She teaches us how to avoid postpartum depletion and how to directly support your brain function through a nutrient dense diet. We discuss how eating fat and protein with every meal will make you happier, why cholesterol actually isn't bad, and how to rest your adrenals every day (trust us, you don't want to miss this tip!).
There's a TON of information in this conversation but we also get practical about what you can do TODAY to start feeling better and nourish your family well.
Find Dani at happyhealthylittles.com and @happyhealthylittles on Instagram.
Dani is generously offering a 35% discount to our community on any of her packages! Just use code VGMC at checkout.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week's listener question:
"My son just turned three...It's as if he's demon possessed. Like, full on terror 🤣. Super rough with friends, animals, etc. But I don't think he's trying to hurt anyone, he's just CRAZY. Help!"
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
If you have a question for the podcast, send either of us a DM or email layne@enquiryco.com!
Welcome back! We are kicking off this season by exploring how to stop judging yourself and start enjoying the journey of parenting. We get into how your own childhood affects your parenting, how to let go of the need to perform perfectly and why it's okay to make mistakes with your kids. We talk about why milestones don't matter, why you should let your kids fail and how to build resilience in them AND in yourself.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Jess shares her personal story of navigating the identity shift from professional life into motherhood. We discuss ways women lose themselves in motherhood, why we put ourselves last and how we can rediscover a sense of self. We talk about why pursuing your own passions actually makes you a better mom and how to value yourself as a PERSON who is also a mother.
Thank you all for listening to Season 2. We value every single one of you so much. We're going to take a break for a few weeks and see you again soon!
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month-including during this break)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Marriage is hard. You can't see the end from the beginning and sometimes the middle is "meh." Jess has been married for 13 years, Layne for 6, and we have a lot to learn if we want to stay married for the rest of our lives. In this episode, we share our experiences so far of dealing with unrealistic expectations about how love and marriage would feel, overcoming codependency in our relationships, how honesty and forgiveness creates emotional intimacy and seeking professional help to communicate effectively during conflict. We ask each other questions like: Why does every episode of Peppa Pig make the dad seem dumb? How can parents balance rest when one works and the other stays at home? Do you also cry every time you fight with your husband? How do we lean into healthy conflict instead of hiding from it? and so many more. We don't have all the answers but we are enjoying the journey!
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week Jess surprises Layne with a Q&A style quiz guaranteed to make two people fall in love. It sparks all kind of cool tangents, including: how famous is too famous, what to do if a friend steals your baby name, how to remember your childhood, rehearsing telephone calls ahead of time, are audio messages annoying, prioritizing time as parents, Instagram ad shopping and is it a good idea to cut the top off high-waisted underwear.
Things get a little vulnerable but we love this podcast community and are feeling ready to let you know us at a deeper level. If you want to connect in real life, we do a live zoom call in the Very Good Mothers Club community every month on the 4th Tuesday at 12pst and we would LOVE to see your face.
Join Very Good Mothers Club
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Sometimes we finish recording, set the mics down and THEN have the conversation of a lifetime. This audio-only episode is one of those "real talks" that we remembered to capture...
Life is only your experience of life; if you miss the experience, you miss your life. We don't want to spend anymore time believing that the outside world is more real or important that our inner lives. In this conversation, Layne sees her naked body in a far away mirror and is surprised. Jerry Seinfeld drops words of wisdom on a different podcast and we talk about it on this one (and declare that comedians are the prophets of our generation). We explore what children can teach us about mindfulness and how to be present in the here and now. We learn a lesson about valuing our own life experience from the time Jess' husband fell asleep in an important meeting and how to reframe the stories we are telling ourselves.
Then we give book recommendations! The best children's books, some of our favorite books and a few current reads.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Books mentioned:
Here We Are by Oliver Jeffers
I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
Enid Blyton
Everything Now by Rosecrans Baldwin
Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
A Million Miles in A Thousand Years by Donald Miller
Abba's Child by Brennan Manning
The Jesuit's Guide to Almost Everything by Father James Martin
How can I be a loving mom (dad, parent, teacher) without getting burnt out? How do I teach my kids it's not ok to hit me? How can I get my child to eat the food I made when she says she doesn't like it? What if they cry for a long time? I'm worried we didn't bond enough when he was a baby - can I still say no or will that drive us farther apart?
Today we are talking about how parents can hold personal boundaries with their child as a response to some of the questions you brought to our community call this month.
Before life with kids, we didn't know it was possible to be over-stimulated and completely BORED at the same time. There's so much to do, it's loud all the time, everyone wants something and yet...it's kind of the same thing over and over. The good news is - boredom is good for you (and it's good for your kids).
Boredom is a call to creativity--an invitation to find the thing inside that once fired your passions and use it to bring meaning to the time you spend with your children. You just participated in the most creative act possible: you co-created a new person with the universe and now you get to introduce them to it.
This part of life might feel never-ending, but we have to recognize that raising kids is just that - one PART of life. You will have another act after this and you will take what you learned through this time into the next (this is why mother's make excellent CEOs but that's another conversation...).
Jess and Layne talk about how to bring creative momentum back into your life, celebrate the little discoveries your child makes AS creative acts, and use your passions to enhance your experience of parenthood.
Jess' Youtube video we mentioned in this episode - How to balance motherhood
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Layne and Jess deep dive into what 1-year-olds are thinking and how they can learn to play independently so you can get a moment to yourself. We lay out strategies to make your home a "Yes Environment" for them to freely explore so they can become confident decision makers and creative thinkers. And we talk about the best way to praise and encourage kids to give them a growth mindset and NOT turn them into people pleasers.
Lovevery is the toy company Jess mentions with age-specific toys.
CDC 1-Year-Old-Milestones is a great resource if you want to know what kinds of activities your child is capable of at this age.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hoveron Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Moms (maybe all women?) treat each other very badly and Jessica Hover hates it. She hates the "us vs. them" camps parents sort themselves into. She hates behind-the-back gossip and face-to-face judgement. She hates that mothers define themselves by what they are against. She hates it when parents steal each others' joy by saying, "Just you wait..." AND she has some ideas about how we can do better. This week, we get deep in the weeds about what a community of moms could really look like, how we could take care of each other and what we could to do to make each others' lives easier.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Play shapes every aspect of who your child is becoming and you might not even know what it really is. Do you want your child to have strong social/emotional skills, become a creative problem solver, be confident, have healthy relationships, develop cognitive skills for math and reading, grow strong motor skills and be empathetic? Not exaggerating - it ALL comes through play.
This episode is Layne's mini-manifesto about how you can enter into your child's world, really see who they are, connect on a deeper level and guide who they are becoming all by understanding what play really is and how to support it. We talk about how to understand your child's behavior through the lens of what THEY think they are doing, navigate your dueling agendas and strengthen your relationship through respect.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Jess and Layne reveal their personal histories with depression (and some bonus mental health issues). Layne shares about how compounding life crises actually led to healing from life-long pain, the role nutrition has played in her recovery and how to talk to kids about the hard things you are going through. Jess walks us through the life transition and isolation in early motherhood that found her needing treatment at a mental facility and her journey with medication. She talks about the importance of having a community who knows how low you can get and can make sure you get the help you need (also movement and SLEEP!). Finally, we take a question about the ethics of becoming a parent when you have a history of mental illness (SPOILER: we think you should go ahead and live your life <3).
Jess recommends the book "How To Be Sad" by Helen Russell.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and join our live monthly calls (4th Tuesday of every month)!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
It's easy to get stuck inside the experience of each day and let one string together with the next until they slip way from you. This is a conversation about coming up for air, looking around and getting perspective about where you are and where you want to go; we call it "IN" vs. "ON". Of course, you have to be "IN" your life and experience it in the present with your kids, your work, your passions. But you also have to rise above the hustle to check in with yourself, get clear on your vision and set direction in order to live the life you want. Jess and Layne have been talking about this for a few months (as you'll here) and we're excited to bring you all into the conversation.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community - our first podcast call is Tuesday 2/28 at 12pst!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Happy Valentines Day, podcast loves! We are back with season 2 and jumping right in with an episode all about RELATIONSHIPS. Inspired by a question about how to talk to your kids about divorce, Layne and Jess share about our own marriages with their ups and downs. We tell the stories of how we met our husbands. We talk about flexibility in romantic relationships, how couples can hold space for each other to change and practical tips for keeping the love alive in the day to day. We also get into the nitty gritty of when it's time to let a relationship end, caring for your kids during the transition and trusting yourself to know what you need.
HERE is the link to register for the Calm & Confident Parenting workshop we can't wait to be a part of!
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
*Tiny note: our website is STILL under construction so sit tight on that one - we promise it's on its way :)
To spread the Christmas cheer as far as possible, we filled this episode to brim with ALL listener questions! And they were good:
- Help! My three-year-old will always be an only child and they really, really, really can't share.
- Do you hold your tampon string to the side when you pee or change it every time?
- What do I do when my child favors me over my husband and it hurts his feelings?
- Budgeting tips!
- How do I know if it's time to get divorced?
We will be back with season two in the new year! Until then, we love you all so much and hope you have wonderful holidays
Brands we mentioned: Proof Panties and Foria (CBD sex oil)
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Yesterday was sweet babyhood and today is "the terrible twos." It literally happens overnight - and it just happened to Jess' daughter. We share stories about mucus and peas, compare the silliest things we've seen trigger huge tantrums and talk about why we actually deeply love two-year-olds. Layne lays out strategies for staying out of power struggles with your toddler while still holding good boundaries and teaching them how to wield their incredible will power.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
How To Handle Toddler Tantrums - If you want more of a foundational look at what toddlers are (brain development, social/emotional growth, etc.) and how to parent one, this video on Jess' channel basically covers Layne's entire philosophy (it's also the first thing we ever made together so...cute).
Introducing our JUICIEST (and longest) episode yet! We had neat and tidy plan for this topic which flew out the window the second we hit record. This conversation is nothing short of confessional - two new friends really telling each other truth about how they feel about the bodies they live in. We share stories about trying to relate to our mothers as little girls, teenage eating disorders, contagious self-criticism, working out as an assault survivor, postpartum body shaming, botox + plastic surgery, social media comparison and seriously so much more. It got so good that the sun set on our conversation and we decided to let it be double-length.
We would love to keep this conversation going! If you have thoughts or questions about this topic (or any, really), DM us so we can do a follow up.
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Book excerpt: Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
'Tis the season to mute social media accounts whose perfect photos cause too many feelings (just until January, maybe). This week we talk about how to tap into your own desires for the season and ask, "What do I want this Christmas to look like?" We explore how to successfully make memories with your family and experience some magic with maximum joy and minimum effort. Layne lays out a plan for collaborating with your kids to wrap a good narrative around expectations and Jess speaks to the pressure to make everything special in early motherhood while feeling so, so tired (Spoiler: if you're keeping the baby alive and fed, well done! Enlist family and friends to help with the celebration part).
Once again, we talked to each other for too long and ran out of time for a listener question but we promise to get a handle on it in the future 🤞
Shop Very Good Mothers Club for all your Christmas gifts 🎁
Join Very Good Mothers Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
We're stopping by for just a few minutes this Thanksgiving to offer some love and solidarity to those for whom holidays don't feel very celebratory. We are not strangers to loss or dysfunction and we know that grief can be a close friend this time of year. Layne reads a blessing from John O'Donahue and Jess offers encouragement to open ourselves to divine love, however that looks for each of us.
We will be thinking of you all as we celebrate in our own ways over the next few days and we'll be back with a full episode next week!
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Holidays belong to all of us and we want to make them meaningful for ourselves and our individual families, even within the context of our larger families and communities. Looking toward holidays, we often feel overwhelmed/unsure/anxious/ALL the feelings. These feelings are a message from inside begging us to get clear around our healthy boundaries and hold them for ourselves. This week we have a seriously robust conversation about how to value our own experiences, find out what our edges are and express them as non-negotiable yet loving boundaries. We talk about what a boundary really is, why it's the most loving thing in the world, how to communicate it clearly in a way others can understand and how to HOLD it.
We take on a listener question about what to do with unwanted feedback from your in-laws when it feels like a criticism of your parenting (Jess's answer is so masterful it leaves Layne speechless).
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week is all about words - Jess expands her vocabulary and Layne tells the story of when a 3-year-old used the spiciest language ever heard in a preschool classroom. We talk strategies for teaching children how to choose their words, use powerful language and express themselves appropriately (including a solid script for how to respond to toddler swearing...because it happens, folks!).
We answer a listener question about why her two-year-old is so strong willed, what role "gentle parenting" plays and how to survive the tantrums. This is our deepest dive into toddler behavior so far on this podcast and it is juicy!
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Like Batman standing arms outstretched while the bats swirl around him, we share our own origin stories of living through moments of utter chaos to emerge more regulated, experienced parents and teachers. We talk about when lack of sleep becomes an emergency for a new mom, asking for help from your support system and how to prioritize emotional regulation while caring for children.
From food to environment to community and mental health, taking care of yourself IS taking care of your child! And for those moments when you lose it (like everyone does) we talk through how to apologize to children and repair the relationship.
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
A culture is being set in your family, either consciously or unconsciously. This week we get into how to lead your family's culture with intention, how putting words to your values gives you confidence when other moms do things differently and how we can nurture non-judgmental communities. There's a lot of encouragement packed in - to offer compassion to yourself, cultivate empathy for other parents and hold respectful space for each other as each of us cares for our children the best we can...even when we disagree.
We take a listener question about what is effective "discipline" for a one-year-old / young toddler that may (or may not) surprise you :)
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
Gentle TW: we are handling a tender topic and want to give you a chance to excuse yourself right here at the top, if you need to. While no alarming details are shared, there is reference to sexual assault and a broad conversation around the safety of women and girls. Take good care of yourselves, above all else. Feel free to skip or circle back to this episode when the moment is right for you <3
This week we take a question from Jess' seven-year-old daughter - "Mom, what do I do about bad guys?" Jess talks about a mother's urge to promise her child that nothing bad will ever happen to them. Layne shares her experience of surviving an encounter with a "bad guy" and some real-life, practical skills that can actually keep children safer. We talk about the power of teaching little girls how to grow into women who value their own experiences and use their voices.
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
This week Jess explains why she is so careful about what kind of parenting content she consumes. We talk through how vulnerable it can feel to try and decipher the advice that is for you and leave the rest behind (such as, wearing avocado on your nipples to coax your baby to nurse). We deep dive into a listener question about transitioning a toddler into daycare and why it's worth it to guide your child through the challenges they encounter instead of airlifting them out.
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
As we mentioned in the episode, we recently did deep dive into tips for transitioning your child to daycare or preschool - you can watch it HERE!
This week Layne reveals why she doesn't have any babies (yet?) and what makes motherhood seem so scary. Jess speaks to the comedy and confusion of parenting a little boy who loves his penis (as they all do) and the challenge of being yourself when you also have to be someone's mom. We answer a listener question about managing the new baby / toddler dynamic when your little one has "love aggression."
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram
In their first podcast episode EVER, Jess and Layne take deep breaths and practice talking into microphones. They compare themselves to pilots, explain the podcast's name, share some fears and mostly discuss how parents can drop in to "the now" with your child and really get on their level.
Join Very Good Mother's Club to be a part of our community and get your questions answered on a future episode!
Find Jess at Jessica Hover on Youtube and @jess_hover on Instagram
Find Layne @enquiryco on Instagram