Abiding Marriage Podcast: Recent Episodes
Glen and Shawn Solberg -- Marriage Help
We want to help you as a couple to more closely connect with Christ AND with each other. Our desire is that every episode of our podcast would both challenge you and encourage you to grow both those connections!!
Please listen in today as we share both some really important news for you, the listener, as well as an opportunity for you to help us! So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes: 3 Ways We are Asking for Your help!
PRAY FOR US. And we really mean it! We know there is power in prayer! There are still a lot of things that need to get figured out, and we need God’s wisdom to lead us in those decisions. So please pray specifically that the Lord…and the Lord alone, would give us both His plan and His timing in the next steps for our podcast. This is the most important foundational step for us to take, and we do appreciate you helping us in this way!
SEND US YOUR CONTACT INFO: The second way you can help us is by sharing your email info with us. We will not sell or give your information to anyone else. You can count on that. We are asking for your email information only so that when we are ready to re-launch the podcast, you can be on the list of folks that we contact. And that is the ONLY reason we want it. So if you can send us your info - including your first and last name and email address - that way we can connect with you and let you know when we are getting ready to RELAUNCH the podcast. You can send that info to podcast@abidingmarriage.org
GIVE US YOUR FEEDBACK: The third and final way you can help us is by providing feedback on our podcast. The simplest way to do that is to share that feedback when you email us your first and last name and your email address. Here are some examples of feedback you could share: 1) Tell us what your favorite episode was and why. 2) Share with us the topics that most interested you in all the episodes we have shared so far. 3) Let us know any topics you would like for us to cover in future episodes. These are just a few examples of the kind of feedback you could share with us. And we want to say THANK YOU in advance for taking the time to do that for us!
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The New Year is upon us! And as we start the New Year, we want to encourage you to truly make the most important things your priority this year - both individually AND as a couple. What are those most important things? Well, listen in today and you will find out! This is not about New Year's resolutions, but about prioritizing the things that God wants us to prioritize so that we can flourish as He has designed us! So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Got Questions: How Do I Know Which of God’s Promises are for Me? LINK: https://www.gotquestions.org/God-promises.html
Apps or Website We Recommend for Bible Reading/Bible Study:
YouVersion Bible App - Bible Reading Plans: https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app
Through the Word App - Bible Study: https://throughtheword.org
The Navigators - Bible Reading Plans: https://www.navigators.org/resource/bible-reading-plans
Bible Gateway - Bible Reading Plans: https://www.biblegateway.com/reading-plans
The Bible Project - Bible Study: https://bibleproject.com
Online Post to Help Your Consistent Bible Reading:
Biola University Post: https://www.biola.edu/blogs/good-book-blog/2020/how-to-read-the-bible-regularly
Desiring God Post: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/how-do-i-make-the-most-of-daily-bible-reading
Cru Online Post: https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/bible-studies/reasons-read-bible.html
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As we close out 2023, we want to take time to share with you something that is CRITICAL - not just for this time of year - but all year long. We also know how BUSY this time of year can be...but please take some time to listen and respond to what you hear on this episode. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes: Link go Gospel Information on Our Website: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/what-is-the-gospelLink to Online Posts on the Gospel and Marriage:
Ligonier Post: https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/3-ways-gospel-changes-marriage
Lifeway Post: https://www.lifeway.com/en/articles/is-marriage-about-the-gospel
Link to Abiding Marriage Series of Blog Posts:
Part 1: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/the-gospel-and-marriage-part-1
Part 2: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/the-gospel-and-marriage-part2
Part 3: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/the-gospel-and-marriage-part3
Link to our Podcast - two episodes on the Gospel
On your favorite Podcast site, look for #3 or #16
Apple Spotify Google Podcasts
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This time of year can be super-stressful for couples! And that stress can lead to conflict as husband and wife. So we want to take some time on this episode to help you and your spouse effectively deal with those stresses, so that this Christmas season can truly be a joyful season for both of you and your family! So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Abiding Marriage Podcast #8 - Leaving, Cleaving, and Becoming One (Referenced in this episode)
Listen to our Podcast on:
Apple Spotify Google Podcasts Our Website
Shared in this Episode - Club31 Women Post: https://club31women.com/prepare-marriage-holidays
Online Articles to Help:
A Couple More Great Posts to Help Prepare for Christmas:
FamilyLife Post: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/holidays/featured-holidays/christmas/10-ways-to-prepare-your-heart-for-christmas/
Married People Post: https://marriedpeople.org/10-ways-to-prepare-your-relationship-for-holiday-stress/
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Whether or not you and your spouse are on the same foundation with how you view money and possessions, those two topics are certainly challenging for many couples. And as you probably know, many couples who divorce say that financial struggles were a main reason for the ending of their marriage. So on today's episode, we want to help you and your spouse get on the same biblical foundation for managing money and possessions. There are lots of practical ways to do that and we are happy to share those with you. So please take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Financial Ministries Recommended in This Episode:
Compass Ministries: Check them out all the great stuff they have to offer at https://compass1.org/
Dave Ramsey: Tons of stuff to check out at https://www.ramseysolutions.com/
Dave Ramsey: “The Seven Baby Steps - linked here: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/dave-ramsey-7-baby-steps/
Online Resources related to the False Prosperity Gospel
The Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/5-errors-of-the-prosperity-gospel/
Desiring God - Ask Pastor John: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/six-keys-to-detecting-the-prosperity-gospel
Recommended Resources for Purchase:
The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn:
Amazon Link Here: https://a.co/d/ihyKnMO
Master Your Money by Ron Blue:
Amazon Link Here: https://a.co/d/9kz2f1
Online Articles to Help:
Crown Ministries - YouVersion Bible Plans on Money and Stewardship: https://www.crown.org/youversion/
The Gospel Coalition - What is Your Theology of Money: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/theology-money-200-words/
Ligonier Post: https://www.ligonier.org/guides/money-and-stewardship
The Gospel Coalition - Money and Possessions in Proverbs: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevin-deyoung/money-and-possessions-in-proverbs/
Bible Study on Money from Proverbs: https://bible.org/article/proverbs-and-idea-%E2%80%9Cmoney%E2%80%9D
Ramsey Site on Stewardship: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/personal-growth/what-is-stewardship
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Our identity in Christ is something that is critical for each of us to understand and walk out if we are to FLOURISH in our individual lives, as well as in our marriage relationship. Understanding who God says we are, as born-again Christ-followers, is ESSENTIAL if we are going to live as He has designed us! So take a few minutes to listen so you and your spouse can understand and walk out this foundational truth for your lives and marriage. And as always, thanks for joining us on thisjourney of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes: Follow-Up Reading and Application Recommended for Every Podcast Listener!!
There are 5 short sections of this post on What God Thinks About You. We recommend taking one section at a time and MARINATING in it for an extended time. Maybe even looking up the Scripture references as you go. Ask the Lord to help you more deeply believe these truths about WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST!!
Desiring God Post - What God Thinks About You LINK: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-god-thinks-about-you
Recommended Book For Purchase:Defined - Who God Says You Are by Stephen and Alex Kendrick
Link on Amazon: https://a.co/d/4eVYSUD
Online Articles to Help:
Desiring God Website: Lots of resources and articles to help: https://www.desiringgod.org/topics/identity-in-christ#
Cru Online Post: https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/spiritual-growth/core-christian-beliefs/identity-in-christ.html
God Questions Website Post: https://www.gotquestions.org/identity-in-Christ.html
FamilyLife Online Post: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/faith/essentials-faith/growing-in-your-faith/what-does-it-mean-to-find-your-identity-in-christ/
Desiring God Post Quoted in this Episode: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/become-who-you-already-are
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Today’s episode is one that EVERY husband and wife can connect with - because we are talking about marital communication. And the truth is that lots of couples STRUGGLE to communicate with one another, even after many years of being married! So today we are going to look at Scripture and see some essentials that can help “unlock” better communication between you and your spouse. And these are things that can help you both whether you have been married a short time, or for decades! We all can grow and need to keep growing in our marital communication!! So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on thisjourney of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Jay Adams Four Communication Principles from Ephesians Chapter 4:
1) Be Honest. This flows out of V25 which says, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
2) Solve Problems Quickly. This flows out of V26-27 which says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. ”
3) Be Encouraging Instead of Attacking. This flows out of V29 which says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
4) Act, Don’t React. This flows out of V31-32 which says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
First Things First: https://firstthings.org/6-ways-poor-communication-can-affect-your-marriage/
FamilyLife Online Post: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/communication/5-communication-tools-that-saved-my-marriage/
Les and Leslie Parrot Post: https://www.symbis.com/blog/how-to-put-good-communication-into-practice/
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So many couples we talk to are often “stuck” or “crippled” in their marriage relationship because of some things they believe about marriage that are just NOT TRUE. We can hear these lies and start to believe them -- OR sometimes, based on our life experiences, we come to the wrong conclusions about things and move forward believing these lies, without ever thinking they are actually leading you down a wrong path. So on today's episode we want to talk about some of these LIES that you and your spouse may be believing about marriage -- and why those lies can cripple, or eventually kill your marriage. And, of course, while talking about these lies, we will also discuss the truth that we need to believe and start living out in place of the lie. So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on thisjourney of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Romans 15:7 : Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Quote from Timothy Diehl: “Marriage is an invitation to give yourself to someone who will, at times, be your best friend, and at other times, be something akin to an enemy. Marriage is not an invitation to fulfillment, but an invitation to transformation as we learn what it really means to love….A good marriage comes not from the right people finding each other, but from two people committed to loving each other as they are, not as they wish they were”.
Abiding Marriage Post - How Do We Get from “I Do” to “I’m Done: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/from-i-do-to-im-done
Online Articles to Help:
FamilyLife Post by Bill Elliff: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/gods-plan-for-marriage/8-lies-that-destroy-marriage/
All Pro Dad - 3 lies: https://www.allprodad.com/3-lies-about-marriage/
Crosswalk Post: https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/engagement-newlyweds/10-lies-the-world-tells-you-about-marriage.html
Marriage Missions - Lies We believe: https://marriagemissions.com/lies-believe-marriage-killers/
Retreat Center - Four Lies: https://longviewretreat.com/4-common-lies-about-marriage-truths-to-dispel-them/
Paul Tripp Helpful Graphic on Lies vs. Truth - Google Drive Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/123yMVHplfq9KqMoY2ohFMRcddXc1APba/view?usp=sharing
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There’s so many emotions we feel on the day we get married! But as we….and you and your spouse may have experienced, those incredible feelings of being ‘in love’ that you had on your wedding day, don’t usually last year after year. That feeling of ‘being in love’ alone cannot sustain you on your journey of marriage. There is something beyond a feeling that we must have, if we are going to grow and live out marriage as God has designed it. With this episode, we continue our two part podcast entitled “Do You REALLY Love Your Spouse?”. In these two episodes we will explore with you what Christ-like love is, and also some ways to practically walk that Christ-like love out in your marriage relationship. Thanks for joining us for today's episode on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Link to 3-Page Diagram on Rights vs. Responsibilities: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pwOMCNzXv9wRwA2EM_jTLyqHZjsBO1Tr/view?usp=sharing
Summary of 5 Practical Steps Shared:
FIRST: Self-sacrificial, Christ-like love repents of SIN and SELFISHNESS. So the first step to real, lasting change for a Christ-follower is always REPENTANCE and CONFESSION.
SECOND: Real, self-sacrificial Christ-like love shows up in the mundane, everyday details of your life as a married couple. Ask God to help you see everyday opportunities to show this self-sacrificial, Christ-like love to your spouse - and then TAKE ACTION when He shows you those opportunities.
THIRD: Resist the urge to focus on your “rights”. Instead, with God’s help, commit to fulfilling your responsibilities to your spouse. YIELDING your RIGHT or EXPECTATION, and FOCUSING more on your responsibility, is an act of loving self-sacrifice. This is an incredible way to DEMONSTRATE CHRIST-LIKE love to the spouse God has given you.
FOURTH: Self-sacrificial, Christ-like love ACTS BEFORE IT FEELS! Jesus Christ, and the Gospel of Grace that He demonstrated, are to be our model in how we love our spouse, ESPECIALLY in times when we least feel like it.
FIFTH: Self-sacrificial, Christ-like love DOES NOT KEEP SCORE. Self-sacrificial, Christ-like love does not give with an EXPECTATION of getting anything in return.
And since we know it might be overwhelming for you to think about ALL FIVE of those, we suggest picking ONE that God would want you to focus on now - understanding that you will desperately need His help in order to grow in any of these areas - but know that He wants you to grow and wants to help you through it!
Online Posts to Help:
Marriage Missions Post: https://marriagemissions.com/marriage-covenant-commitment/
Got Questions: How do we love like Jesus?: https://www.gotquestions.org/love-like-Jesus.html
Proverbs 31: https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2018/12/28/the-danger-of-keeping-score
Desiring God - What Makes Christ-like Love Different?
https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-makes-christian-love-different
Focus on the Family: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sacrificial-love/
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There’s so many emotions we feel on the day we get married! But as we….and you and your spouse may have experienced, those incredible feelings of being ‘in love’ that you had on your wedding day, don’t usually last year after year. That feeling of ‘being in love’ alone cannot sustain you on your journey of marriage. There is something beyond a feeling that we must have, if we are going to grow and live out marriage as God has designed it. With this episode, we begin a two part podcast entitled “Do You REALLY Love Your Spouse?”. In these two episodes we will explore with you what Christ-like love is, and also some ways to practically walk that Christ-like love out in your marriage relationship. Thanks for joining us for today's episode on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Four Definitions of Self-Sacrificial Christ-like love:
Author and Speaker Paul Tripp says: “Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving.”
Pastor Bill Elliff defines love as: “Love is that divine quality that always responds in self-sacrifice”
And Jonathan Holmes, who we mentioned earlier, says: “Biblical love in marriage flows out of our relationship with Christ into a covenantal commitment to self-sacrifice in small and large ways for the spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being of my spouse”.
Got Questions Site - maybe the easiest to understand: “In the most basic sense, love is the emotion felt AND actions performed by someone concerned for the well-being of another person. Love involves affection, compassion, care, and self-sacrifice.”
Online Posts to Help You and Your Spouse:
Marriage Missions Post mentioned in this episode on Covenantal Commitment in Marriage: https://marriagemissions.com/marriage-covenant-commitment/
Got Questions: How do we love like Jesus?: https://www.gotquestions.org/love-like-Jesus.html
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As a couple, we wholeheartedly believe that prayer between you and your spouse is VITAL to growing your spiritual connection as a couple. And we want to challenge every husband and wife listening to intentionally work on your consistency in this area. But we also want to acknowledge, as many of you listening could attest, that praying together as husband and wife is harder to consistently practice than you think. So we also want to offer up some ideas to help you grow in your time together in prayer! Please take some time to listen to today’s episode so you can develop this VITAL connection as husband and wife. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
SPECIAL BONUS FOR YOU: Thanks for taking the time to read our Show Notes. We are offering you a “BONUS” for doing that for this episode! If you are a married couple and really want to get started, or restarted, on praying together as husband and wife, we would love to send you one of our Growing Your Spiritual Connection books for FREE. And we will do that for the first 10 couples that email us at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org. No strings attached! We look forward to hearing from you and seeing you and your spouse connect spiritually by praying together!!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Paid Resources You Can Purchase to Help:
Two Hearts Praying as One - Dennis and Barbara Rainey - LINK ON AMAZON: https://a.co/d/da6hHZs
The Power of Praying Together by Stormie Omartian and Jack Hayford - LINK ON AMAZON: https://a.co/d/1UTkGmm
Growing Your Spiritual Connection: LINK ON AMAZON: https://a.co/d/3teBVjU
Online Posts to Help You Pray as Husband and Wife:
Doug Britton: https://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-marriageinformationandadvice/marriedcouplesprayers-praywithyourspouseeveryday/
Focus on the Family: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-do-we-pray-together/
FamilyLife: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/growing-spiritually/what-happens-when-couples-pray/
Desiring God Post from John Piper: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/should-my-husband-pray-with-me-more
YouVersion Bible App - Plans mentioned in the Podcast:
5 Ways to Pray as a Couple - from FamilyLife -- LINK: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/34843-5-ways-to-pray-as-a-couple
10 Day Prayer Challenge for Couples - from Focus on the Family -- LINK: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/34082-the-10-day-prayer-challenge-for-couples
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As much as any of us would hate to admit it, every married couple experiences tough days that sometimes turn into tough seasons. The question is, as Christ-followers, “What Do I Do When Things Get Hard in My Marriage?” And while we cannot answer that question for your specific situation, we want to spend some time on today’s episode in providing help for you and your spouse in this tough season. So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:Online Posts to Help:
Institute for Family Studies: https://ifstudies.org/blog/six-lessons-on-staying-married-from-couples-whove-struggled-and-made-it
Build Your Marriage: https://buildyourmarriage.org/how-to-stay-strong-in-a-hard-marriage/
Symbis: https://www.symbis.com/blog/better-worse-dealing-tough-times-marriage/
Focus on the Family: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/holding-tight-in-the-hard-times/
Abiding Marriage: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/where-do-i-turn
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Back in November of 2022, we celebrated our 30th anniversary! So thankful to God for His sustaining grace for all those years. In celebration of that event, we wrote a blog post reflecting on the lessons learned through those 30 years. On today's episode, we take time to reflect on just a handful of the 30 things we shared, with the idea of going deeper in this podcast episode than we could on the blog. So please take a few minutes to listen in today. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Link to 30 on 30 Abiding Marriage Blog Post: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/30-on-30
Link to Google Drive Folder and Resource of Guardrails in Marriage https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Pe5A5X7MzxWQxgeGgHFoZSvDcW0Svms0/view?usp=sharing
Link to #4 Podcast on Forgiveness: Apple Spotify Stitcher
Link to #7 Podcast on Forgiveness: Apple Spotify Stitcher
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Many of us who have been around church or the Christian faith have heard about the need to "love God and love others", based on Jesus' words in Matthew 22. Today we want to talk about what we call “The Overflow Effect", that is related to Jesus' words in Matthew 22. This "Overflow Effect" is VITAL for your marriage. So take a few minutes to listen in. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Three online posts to help:
Online Post - Vertical to Horizontal Relationships: https://shortdailydevotions.com/philippians-37-8-vertical-to-horizontal-relationships/
Steve Thomason Post: https://www.stevethomason.net/spiritual-formation/the-overflow-principle/
Shawn E Thomas Post: https://shawnethomas.com/2017/12/05/christianity-vertical-horizontal/
Questions to Marinate On Related to the Overflow Effect:
1) What would my life look like if I focused on my vertical relationship first, and then learned to bend that vertical unconditional love and grace to all of my horizontal relationships, especially my marriage?
2) What if following God’s path for my marriage leads me to greater suffering and sacrifice than I anticipated. Will I stay the course, knowing He is with me and He has given me power to grow with Him and with my spouse through the suffering?
3) As I grow in giving God both TIME and PRIORITY in my life, am I trying to “pray God into my agenda and my plans” OR am I faithfully and obediently responding to who He is and how He is revealing Himself and His truth to me?
4) Is the life I’m living, the spouse I’m married to, the family we are raising together - all really about Jesus? In other words, “Is everything in my horizontal life the OVERFLOW of a vibrant vertical love relationship with Jesus”?
Deeper Dive: Additional Online Helps into this Topic:
Desiring God Online Post: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/if-we-love-god-most-we-will-love-others-best
Navigators Online Post:
https://www.navigators.org/blog/the-kingdom-of-god-is-about-bearing-fruit/
Crosswalk Online Post: https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/when-your-spouse-is-your-closest-neighbor.html
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Marriage is a place where you and your spouse can experience great joy and fulfillment! But the other side of marriage is the painful truth that we hurt one another, even though we love each other deeply. And because of these hurts, one or both spouses sometimes feel guilt and shame around the ways that they have hurt their spouse. Guilt and shame can hinder a couple’s marriage relationship, if it is not dealt with correctly and biblically. So on today's episode, we want to talk about how to deal with the hurts…. so that guilt and shame do not get in the way of your marriage relationship being everything God designed it to be! Thanks for joining us today on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Online Post:
Desiring God Post on Shame: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/breaking-the-power-of-shame
Two Resources on the Unbiblical Idea of Self-Forgiveness:
Google Drive Link to Brief Article by The Gospel Coalition: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16ZGHD2EF1pT12drB4PpTuWfuukwFe05F/view?usp=share_link
Google Drive Link to JBC Article by Robert Jones: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MLIrmILrbSTlbB6DEEFr8339obhzlaU7/view?usp=share_link
Abiding Marriage Page on the Gospel: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/thegospel
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Trust is something that is essential to marriage. Trust is only earned over time, but it can be lost in a moment. Loss of trust often comes from situations like adultery or the use of pornography, but it can also result from other issues where one spouse feels lied to, betrayed, or deceived by the other spouse. Things like inappropriate conversations with the opposite gender, hiding activities or purchases, or not being open and honest about your financial situation. In each of these cases when trust has been lost, it is essential for a husband and wife to walk through a season of rebuilding trust. So we want to share with you today some things to help you on this path of rebuilding trust as a couple. Listen to hear more. And thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Online Posts:
Desiring God Post: Four Steps to Rebuilding Trust: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/four-steps-to-rebuild-trust
First Things First Post: https://firstthings.org/rebuild-trust-marriage/
Focus on the Family Post: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/restoring-trust-in-marriage/
Dr. Carol Article on Trust: https://www.drcarolministries.com/7-ingredients-to-rebuilding-trust-between-you-and-your-spouse/
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All couples experience conflict - that is the reality of marriage and relationships. So the real question for you is not IF you will have conflict but HOW will you work through those disagreements and conflicts. And that is what we want to talk about on today’s episode - learning to work through those situations in both a God-honoring and spouse-honoring way. This is Part 2 of two podcasts we are doing on this vital topic!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Resource for Podcast Listeners:
How to Win Every Fight with Your Spouse - LINK: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Cj3ukCJUIiC9MHaHP93GXDRUZOpwOJ6Z/view?usp=share_link
Other Resources to Help:
Link to Cru Resource on the Filling of the Holy Spirit: https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/help-others-grow/collaborative-discipleship/lessons/1c-how-to-be-filled-with-the-holy-spirit.html
Link to Abiding Marriage Post - Are You Watching the Wrong Camera: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/watching-the-wrong-camera
Focus on the Family: The Doorway to Intimacy: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/the-doorway-to-intimacy/
Association of Biblical Counselors: The Anatomy of Conflict: https://christiancounseling.com/blog/uncategorized/a-biblical-anatomy-of-conflict/
The Gospel Coalition: Seven Steps to Conflict Resolution: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/7-steps-to-conflict-resolution/
Matthew 18: Got Questions: How to Handle Disputes among Christians: https://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-disputes.html
Episode Description: All couples experience conflict - that is the reality of marriage and relationships. So the real question for you is not IF you will have conflict but HOW will you work through those disagreements and conflicts. And that is what we want to talk about on today’s episode - learning to work through those situations in both a God-honoring and spouse-honoring way. This is Part 1 of two podcasts we are doing on this vital topic!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Resource for Podcast Listeners:
Inviting God into the Conflict - Google Drive link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10atBKfWv2PBjPtw0Pg-2PQ-f2CKiHW7j/view?usp=share_link
Episode Description: On today’s episode, we share Godly wisdom on what to do in the event you find out that your spouse is having an adulterous relationship, or you are involved in one yourself. In our years of talking to couples, we have talked to multitudes of couples who have walked this path. Many of them made unwise choices in how they handled this, and we don’t want you or someone you know to make those same unwise choices. So we will share Godly wisdom on next steps to take in the tragic event that your marriage covenant is broken.
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Resource for Podcast Listeners:
Extent vs. Details Document - Strong Recommendations for Confession of Sexual Sin: Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dUqux2blTNcMW8eakfWenKIoyRLP06Tq/view?usp=share_link
5 Critical Steps:
Step One: As the injured spouse, commit to not making any quick decisions related to ending your marriage
Step Two: Seek Godly Counsel: You need to decide together “Who’s in the Circle?”
Step Three: The Adulterous Relationship must be completely severed
Step Four: You must both navigate wisely around what we call “Full Disclosure” of the adulterous relationship.
Step Five: Medical Testing Strongly Advised
Three Online Posts to Help:
1) Focus on the Family - Four Hurdles You Will Face in recovering from Adultery. LINK: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/restoration-four-hurdles-you-must-face/
2) Biblical Counseling Coalition: Post-Adultery Reconciliation in Marriage. LINK: https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2015/09/23/post-adultery-reconciliation-in-marriage/
3) Jill Savage Post on Today’s Christian Woman. LINK: http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2015/april-15/rebuilding-trust-after-affair.html
Podcast to Hear Our Story of Recovery from Adultery
Abiding Marriage Podcast #5: Our Story and the Why Behind the Podcast - find us on: Apple Spotify Stitcher
Paid Resource to Consider: Link to Scott Gembola’s devotion for couples recovering from adultery
LINK: https://www.wtsbooks.com/products/after-affair-michael-scott-gembola-9781629953908?variant=9750128132143
On today’s episode, we share two questions, drawn straight from two bible passages, that help a husband or wife honestly evaluate the words they are using with their spouse. So be sure to listen in, so you can learn these questions and begin to use them to help grow the communication in your marriage!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Abiding Marriage Post - Two Simple Questions:
https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/two-simple-questions
First things First Online Post -- Dr Chapman Five Steps Shared: https://firstthings.org/art-of-communication/
Three Questions to Help Evaluate Your Words Toward Your Spouse:
- How are you doing with your words toward your spouse? Be honest in answering this.
- If you were to ask God, do you think He would say your words are pleasing and acceptable to Him?
- And finally, would you want those same words you are saying to your spouse said with the same heart attitude by your spouse towards you?
Two Additional Online Posts to Help You as a Couple - Questions to GROW communication
Marriage Revolution Post: 25 Questions to Spark Authentic Comm: https://marriagerevolution.org/25-questions-to-spark-authentic-communication/
FirstThings Post - Questions for Couples to Improve Communcation: https://firstthings.org/questions-for-couples-to-improve-communication
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Adultery is rampant in our world, and no married couple is immune from the temptation to break their marriage covenant with another person. On today's episode, we are sharing some warning signs that you may be moving in that direction as well as practical things you can do to fight this threat to your marriage. Listen to hear more!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
First Thing First Article: https://firstthings.org/warning-signs-of-an-emotional-affair/
FOF article: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/marriage-problems/warning-signs-of-an-affair/
Abiding Marriage Post - Warning Signs Not to Miss in Your Marriage: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/warning-signs-to-not-miss
Google Drive Link to Guardrails article: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Pe5A5X7MzxWQxgeGgHFoZSvDcW0Svms0/view?usp=sharing
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
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As Followers of Christ, we believe that the core truth of Easter - what Christ-followers call “The Gospel” - can and should be impacting our marriages every single day. We will talk about why we believe that is essential for your marriage and some practical ways to live it out!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
The Gospel page on our website is www.abidingmarriage.org/thegospel
Link to DG Post - 9 ways Gospel transforms marriage
Link to Abiding Marriage Blog Post #1 on Gospel Truths POST #1
Link to Abiding Marriage Blog Post #2 on Gospel Truths POST #2
Link to Abiding Marriage Blog Post #3 on Gospel Truths POST #3
Desiring God Post: Satan’s Schemes against Christ-followers: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/satans-ten-strategies-against-you
The Gospel Primer by Milton Vincent. Purchase a copy at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Primer-Christians-Learning-Glories/dp/1885904673
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES ON THIS TOPIC:
9 Marks Online Post: https://www.9marks.org/article/why-do-christians-need-to-hear-the-gospel-every-day/
Ligonier Online Post: https://www.ligonier.org/posts/continually-washed-gospel
The Gospel Coalition Online Post: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevin-wax/the-gospel-as-an-operating-system-with-law-as-the-updates/
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Before God established His “set apart people” in the Old Testament, and before He used Pentecost to birth His church, He created and designed marriage. Marriage was established by God in Genesis Ch 2, the very first book of the Bible. And we are excited to share about God’s divine design for marriage on today’s episode of Abiding Marriage.
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Quote from Hans Molegraaf of Marriage Revolution: The problem with Adam’s aloneness was not that he lacked something he could only get from Eve, but rather his aloneness prevented him from doing something that is at the core of God’s very image: Sacrificially loving someone. It wasn’t good for Adam to be alone because without Eve he didn’t have anyone to sacrificially love! We don’t love our spouse because they are empty and need love, but because love is the way in which we imitate Christ and bring Glory to God. And we love because God first loved us.
Got Quesitons Article on Gay Marriage:
https://www.gotquestions.org/gay-marriage.html
Desiring God article used for quote at the end of this episode: The Story of Marriage in Seven Verses - quote from 7th verse shared: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-story-of-marriage-in-seven-verses
To view the takeaways/applications, click here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ni4VubXfCOWHoABu4btNT0mZQwVLHUS100yyoe8zM2c/edit?usp=sharing
FOR FURTHER STUDY:
Southern Seminary article on One Man and One Woman Marriage: https://equip.sbts.edu/publications/journals/journal-of-discipleship-and-family-ministry/jdfm-51-spring/one-man-one-woman-created-order-problem-sex-marriage/
Focus on the Family Series of Articles: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/gods-design-for-marriage/
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Questions Addressed on this Q&A Episode:
Q1: What are some spiritual disciplines that you recommend couples do together?
Q2: How to fight well and be kind? AND What are some practical ways to show respect to your spouse when “arguing”?
Q3: How do you find trusted friends to discuss spousal/marital issues?
Q4: As a husband, how can I learn to be more gentle and understanding with my wife when she is feeling emotional or in a time of struggle?
Recommended Marriage Books:
Love and Respectby Emmerson Eggerichs -- we believe this is a "must read" for every couple. Click here for Love and Respect
Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas -- one of our two all-time most helpful books. Click here for Sacred Marriage
I Still Do by Dave Harvey – Great book for any couple married 4-5 years or longer. Click here for I Still Do
The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller – another “must read” for any Christian couple. Click here for The Meaning of Marriage
What Did You Expect by Paul David Tripp -- a book that will challenge you to a deeper level in your marriage. Click here for What Did You Expect
Resources to Help Your Begin Praying Together as a Couple:
Growing Your Spiritual Connection by Glen and Shawn Solberg -- a book that is designed to help any married couple begin and continue the practice of praying together.
Click here for Growing Your Spiritual Connection
Preview Day 5 of Growing Your Spiritual Connection: Use this link
Online Posts to Help Couples with Conflict:
Focus on the Family article: Humility Makes a Difference in Marriage Conflict
Bible.org post/study: Conflict Resolution in Marriage
Join our Abiding Marriage Ministry Partner Team:
Link: www.abidingmarriage.org/partner
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The Number One Killer of Marriages: Episode #13: How does a couple get from pledging their love and commitment to each other to saying “I want a divorce”? Or How do two people who were so “head over heels” in love...end up living like strangers at the same address? On today’s episode, we want to talk about what we believe is the #1 KILLER of marriage relationships. And it is something you and your spouse need to be aware of and actively working to combat!
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
The Marriage Foundation: https://themarriagefoundation.org/3-killers-of-marriage
Focus on the Family - Dr. James Dobson: https://www.drjamesdobson.org/blogs/12-marriage-killers
Abiding Marriage Post on this topic: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/number-one-marriage-killer
For additional study check out:
The Gottman Institute: Contempt - One of Four Horsemen https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/
The Gottman Institute - The Four Horsemen https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
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Episode Info: We are always looking for ways to make this podcast RELEVANT and HELPFUL for married couples. And so a while back, we asked several couples we know to send us some questions related to marriage that they would like us to answer on a podcast. We received over 25 great questions sent in on different topics! In this episode we will answer questions related to : 1) roles in marriage as husband and wife, 2) continuing the mindset of pursuing your spouse after marriage, 3) fun and affordable date ideas - especially for couples with young children, and 4) and questions related to physical intimacy.
Feedback/Contact Us: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that for us!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Tony Evans Sharing on the Fear of the Lord: https://tonyevans.org/blog/fearing-god
Link to Focus on the Family Greg Smalley Article on Pursuing Your Spouse: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-to-pursue-your-spouse-in-the-long-run/
Cheap Date Night Ideas from Glen and Shawn - link on Google Drive for our Podcast Listeners: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12bBJivbbfcMtWrQ3EJDuW0YS0k4EUi75MhkVQtiib2E/edit?usp=sharing
Free Resources on Physical Intimacy:
Intimacy in Marriage Article from Bible.org - link on Google Drive for our Podcast Listeners: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-6CzXK-poolbUk9NgAHzIwJfEXe5B7Xq/view?usp=sharing
ToLoveHonorandVacuum Online Post: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/02/is-sex-a-need-or-a-drive/
All Pro Dad Online Post: https://www.allprodad.com/is-sex-in-marriage-a-need-or-desire/
Resources for Purchase on Physical Intimacy in Marriage:
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ - by Piper and Taylor: Link to this book on Amazon’s website
What is the Meaning of Sex? by Denny Burk: Link to Burk’s book on Amazon
Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat: Link to this Intended for Pleasure on Amazon
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Episode/Show Notes:
As my wife and I have gotten further along in our walk of following Jesus, we are becoming more and more aware of the importance of GRATITUDE. Truly being able to give thanks to God in the hard times as well as the good times. And this GRATITUDE, or at times LACK of real gratitude, really affects our horizontal relationships - especially our marriage! We have found that when we can keep an attitude of gratitude in our vertical relationship with God, it has positive effects on the people we are around that day. So please stay with us to hear MORE. And, as always, THANK YOU for joining us today on this journey of marriage!!
FEEDBACK/CONTACT US: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that or us!!
Link to Gary Thomas on Billy Graham Site: https://billygraham.org/story/how-to-appreciate-an-imperfect-spouse/
Link to Post by Les and Leslie Parrot - Practicing Gratitude in Marriage: https://www.symbis.com/blog/practicing-gratitude-in-marriage/
Link to Psychology Today Article: Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/does-gratitude-matter-in-marriage
Scriptures on Gratitude:
Psalm 9:1-2: I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of Your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in You; I will sing praise to Your Name, O Most High.
Psalm 105:1-2: Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His wonderful deeds.
James 1:17: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Colossians 2:6-7: And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 3:17: And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.
Write It Down Challenge:
- Write a note to your spouse - maybe every day for a week or once a week for the next month.
- Share something SPECIFIC that you can tell them you truly appreciate about them.
- Pray for them to truly feel your gratitude for them as your spouse!
Link to Google Drive Podcast Listener Folder - She’s Not Perfect but She’s Perfect for Me (This article is relevant for both husband and wives)
Link on our Abiding Marriage Blog: How Do You See Your Spouse? https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/seeing-your-spouse
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Episode/Show Notes: In all of life, but particularly in marriage, we often run into DIFFICULTIES with our communication with others. Whether it is listening well or thinking through what you are going to say before you say it, ALL couples face this challenge. I know for my wife and I, at least a few times a month, there is miscommunication about something! On previous podcasts, we talked about some key principles to helping us communicate better as husband and wife. And on today’s episode, we want to share a few more things that will help you and your spouse to continue GROWING in this important area. Please listen in to hear more, and as always, THANK YOU for joining us today on this journey of marriage!!
Our first two podcasts (Episode 1 and 2), were focused on helping you and your spouse's communication to grow. So if you missed them, or have forgotten what we shared, please go and listen to them. They should be easy to access from this podcast host!
KEY VERSES: I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call — one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:1-6 Link on BibleGateway
LESSON FOR YOU AS A COUPLE: As we had shared in this episode, we are highly recommending that you and your spouse work through a three-page lesson entitled "Christian Communication in Marriage". This lesson is based on the passage from Ephesians 4 and the Jeffrey Forrey article we talk about in this episode. We encourage you to work through it individually and ask your spouse to do the same. Then come together and do the 3 discussion questions at the end.
Link to Christian Communication in Marriage Lesson on Our Google Drive Folder for Podcast Listeners
FEEDBACK/CONTACT US: If you would like to share feedback on our podcast or suggestions for future episodes, please send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org Thanks in advance for doing that or us!!
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Episode/Show Notes: God designed us to be dependent on Him and interdependent on others. Our Creator designed us this way so that we truly thrive as He intended. That means we need to be in close connection with other Christ-followers. And while we think about this mostly in terms of being part of a local church, to really thrive as God intended, our relationships have to go DEEPER with people. We cannot fully grow in our marriage as God has designed it unless we have other Christ-followers who love us, to come alongside us and help us live out God’s design for our lives and for our marriages.
So please stay with us for the few minutes as we discuss the importance of being CONNECTED to others in Christ-centered Community! Thank you for joining us today on this journey of marriage!
Scripture(s):
Genesis 2:18: Link on Genesis passage
Hebrews 10:24-25: Link to Hebrews 10 passage
Hebrews 3:13: Link to Hebrews 3 passage
1 Corinthians 12:4-7: Link to 1 Corinthians passage
1 Thessalonians 5:11: Link to 1 Thessalonians passage
Luke 5:17-26: Link to Luke Passage
Assignment from Glen and Shawn for Every Husband and Wife: Take some time alone and unhurried to pray and connect with God.
During this time: 1) Ask God to help you see the ways He has designed your spouse to help make you more like Christ. 2) Write down those things. 3) Try to be as specific as you can be about the things you see in your spouse. After you have written this out, end your time giving thanks to God for the gift of your spouse and the things that God is using in them to mold and shape you to be more like Jesus.
Next, take time to share what you wrote down with your spouse and your spouse will do the same thing with you. 1) Plan a specific time to do this. Don’t try to do this on the fly or while you are busy with other things. 2) This is a powerful way to encourage your spouse while connecting with them emotionally and spiritually.
Finally, we would suggest ending this time together praying together as husband and wife.
Resource Mentioned in Podcast:
Paul Tripp Resource Link - Your Walk with God Is a Community Project: https://www.paultripp.com/your-walk-with-god-is-a-community-project
Articles for Going Deeper
The Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/hurt-healed-community/
Desiring God: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/community-covers-a-thousand-threats
The Gospel Coalition 2nd Post: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/not-you-and-jesus/
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SHOW NOTES - Abiding Marriage Episode #8
One of our great desires at Abiding Marriage is to help you, as a married couple, set a solid foundation for your marriage. And one sometimes “sticky issue” that couples face is what the Bible calls LEAVING and CLEAVING and BECOMING ONE. So what does the Bible mean by LEAVING, CLEAVING, and BECOMING ONE? Whether you are newly married or have been married for years, this is SO VITAL to understand. Listen to this episode to hear more. And, as always, THANK YOU for joining us today on this journey of marriage!!
PRIMARY BIBLE VERSES: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:18-24
Seven Articles on Leaving/Cleaving/Becoming One Flesh:
Focus on the Family Post Link: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/marriage-means-leaving-home-and-cleaving-to-each-other/
Crosswalk Article Link: https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/how-do-you-leave-and-cleave-677998.html
Marriage Missions Link1: https://marriagemissions.com/cleaving-not-leaving-marriage-mm-168/
Marriage Missions Link2: https://marriagemissions.com/cleaving-leaving-mm-167/
FamilyLife Article Link: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/getting-married/newlyweds/respectfully-leaving-your-parents/
Got Questions Article Link: https://www.gotquestions.org/leave-cleave-honor.html
Got Questions Second Article Link: https://www.gotquestions.org/the-two-shall-become-one-flesh.html
Abiding Marriage Post - Clinging: God’s Picture for Marriage: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/clinging-in-marriage
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This Episode: A few weeks back on Episode 4, we talked about forgiveness in marriage. We discussed WHAT forgiveness IS from a biblical perspective, as well as WHY it is SO IMPORTANT to seek and grant forgiveness for the hurts we experience in relationships. But we wanted to take some EXTRA TIME to continue talking about forgiveness on today’s episode….and particularly to see how Jesus spoke to and related to people on forgiveness in the New Testament. We are also going to talk about some “lies” about forgiveness that even Christ-followers may be believing. So stay with us to hear MORE. And, as always, THANK YOU for joining us today on this journey of marriage!
Episode/Show Notes:
Links to Bible Passages on Bible Gateway:
Luke 7 Passage Link Here
John 8 Passage Link Here
Matthew 18 Passage Link Here
10 Truths about Forgiveness: Link to Marriage Revolution Post on Forgiveness: How to Forgive After an Affair
Abiding Marriage Podcast #4 on Forgiveness in Marriage
Link on Apple Podcasts
Link on Spotify
Link on our website
Link to Resources on Luke 15 and the Prodigal Son
Got Questions Link to Luke 15: Parable to Prodigal Son
Desiring God article/sermon on Luke 15 and the Prodigal Son
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As Biblical Counselors, we are all about helping a husband or wife figure out the “root” of what is causing the challenges between them in their marriage. It is important to talk about the behaviors of both the husband and wife...but we must go deeper to find the WHY behind their actions, rather than just focusing on the external actions that are presenting themselves. We must begin to understand what the Bible means when it uses the word "heart", and then ask God to help us truly see and also transform our hearts, so that we can thrive in our most important earthly relationship, our marriage!
Contact Us or Share Feedback: Simply send us an email at podcast@AbidingMarriage.org
Episode/Show Notes:
Download Link: Questions to Help Reveal Our True Heart Motivations - adapted from a number of resources. Download Link for Questions Resource.
Download: Reflections on the Heart Bible Study - resource adapted from a worksheet from the Association of Biblical Counselors. Download Link for Reflections Resource
Download: Getting to the Root - a post by Susan Thomas. Really easy to understand and insightful article with some application questions.
Tim Keller Quote: Whatever captures the heart’s trust and love also controls the feelings and behavior. What the heart most wants, the mind finds reasonable, the emotions find valuable, and the will finds doable. It is all important, then, that our counsel to ourselves and others, move the heart to stop trusting and loving other things more than God. What makes people into what they are is the order of their loves – what they love most, more, less, and least. That is more fundamental to who you are than even the beliefs to which you mentally subscribe. Your love shows what you actually believe in, not what you say you do. People, therefore, change not by merely changing their thinking, but by changing what they love most. (Tim Keller, Preaching - Viking Press 2015).
Paul David Tripp Quote: Now, what all this means is that our biggest, most life-shaping problem exists INSIDE of us and not outside of us. What needs to be transformed in our lives is not so much our situation and relationships (although they need transformation as well). What really needs to be transformed are our hearts. What we need are hearts that are clean and that are single-focused in their allegiance to God and His Glory. We need His Grace and His Gospel to transform what we love, what we crave, and what we serve. And what's the promise of the cross of Jesus Christ? It's a new heart. Here is the gorgeous message of the Gospel: Even though I have bowed again and again to an endless list of God replacements, even though I've loved myself more than I've loved God, even though I've rebelled against God's Kingdom and sought to set up my own kingdom, God comes to me in grace and wraps arms of love around me, and begins a process that will result in the total transformation of the core of my personhood – my heart. The Lord won't rest and He won't relent until He's created in you and me a completely pure heart! Taken from The Grace of a Clean Heart by Paul David Tripp.
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If you have been wondering, "What is Glen and Shawn's story?", or "Why are they doing this podcast?, then please listen to today's episode, where we will share our story and the "why" behind this Abiding Marriage Podcast. And as always, thanks for joining us on this journey of marriage!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Check out our Abiding Marriage Blog at: www.AbidingMarriage.org/blog
If you want to find out more about how you can PARTNER with us, take a moment to go to AbidingMarriage.org/partner
We’d love to get your feedback on any of our episodes, as well as any questions you may have or topics you would like us to cover in future episodes. You can send that feedback to us by emailing podcast@AbidingMarriage.org
To find out more about FamilyLife, go to their website at www.familylife.com
To find out more about Marriage Revolution, go to their website at www.marriagerevolution.com
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Forgiveness in Marriage: Out of all the topics we can discuss related to marriage, there is one that we always, and I really mean always, talk to husbands and wives about - and that is forgiveness. It is critical both to UNDERSTAND and WALK OUT Christ-centered forgiveness in our marriages. And this is not easy. But if you want to work through the hurts we ALL experience in relationships, then we MUST grow in the ability to both seek and grant forgiveness. So take time to listen to today's episode so that you and your spouse can begin to both understand and walk out Christ-centered forgiveness in your marriage!!
Episode/Show Notes:
Tim Keller Article on Forgiveness
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qt88rSHS6UNYJAVOzGH6ohxwioiDc6ZJ/view?usp=sharing
Abiding Marriage Post on Moving Beyond the I’m Sorry Culture:
https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/beyond-i-am-sorry
Books/Resources to Purchase on Forgiveness:
Forgiveness: Healing the Harbored Hurts of Your Heart: https://billelliff.org/products/healing-the-harbored-hurts-of-your-heart
Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom: https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Forgiveness-Your-Journey-Freedom/dp/0802432530/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=choosing+forgiveness+nancy+leigh+demoss&qid=1651252161&sr=8-1
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The Most Essential Connection in Marriage
Scripture(s): “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the Word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” John 15:1-7
Find out how to have a personal relationship with Jesus - the vital connection we all need in life and in marriage:
https://www.abidingmarriage.org/thegospel
Link to Post on Abiding Marriage Blog by Bill Elliff: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/the-abiding-marriage
Resources for going deeper on Abiding in Jesus:
- Ligonier Ministries: https://www.ligonier.org/blog/what-does-it-mean-abide-christ/
- Bible Study Tools: https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/simple-ways-to-understand-and-apply-the-command-to-abide.html
Resources for Bible Study:
- Cru: How to Study the Bible: https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/bible-studies/personal-bible-study/how-to-study-the-bible-on-your-own.html
- Navigators: 4 R’s of Bible Study: https://www.navigators.org/four-rs-bible-study/
Online Bible Commentaries:
- Bible Gateway Reformation Study Bible: https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/reformation-study-bible/toc/
- Enduring Word Commentary: https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/
Resources for Prayer:
- Desiring God: Prayer Help: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/prayer-for-beginners
- Navigators: The Prayer Hand: https://www.navigators.org/resource/the-prayer-hand/
- Bill’s book on prayer - link here
Resources on the Holy Spirit:
- Cru: Holy Spirit Resources: https://www.cru.org/us/en/train-and-grow/spiritual-growth/holy-spirit-resource-kit.html
- Desiring God: How to Be Filled with the Spirit: https://www.desiringgod.org/labs/how-to-be-filled-with-the-holy-spirit
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When it comes to communicating as husband and wife, we need to be sure we keep our FOCUS in the right place. In this episode, we share a key biblical principle that will help you and your spouse really learn to communicate in a more healthy, Christ-honoring way.
Application Questions: Discuss with Your Spouse
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What are some practical ways that you and your spouse can help each other remember and put into practice the Log and Speck principle?
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What situations or types of conflict would make practicing this principle difficult? Discuss what steps you can take in the moment to make it easier.
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Open up the bible and read Matthew 22:37-38 together. When you are tempted to focus on your spouse’s sin before your own, who are you making a decision to love the most? How so?
Abiding Marriage Blog Post - What Camera are You Focused On? https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/watching-the-wrong-camera
Doug Britton on Log and Speck: https://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-personalgrowthanddevelopment/changeyourselffirst-takethebeamoutofyourowneye/
Shepherd Press - Jay Younts - Log and Speck: https://www.shepherdpress.com/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-log-and-speck/
Bible Gateway Matthew 7: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+7&version=ESV
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Title/Theme: Seeking Understanding in Marriage
Scripture(s): Proverbs 18:2: A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (ESV)
Link to Proverbs 18 on Bible Gateway: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+18&version=ESV
Link to Abiding Marriage Post on Helping Communication: https://www.abidingmarriage.org/post/two-simple-questions
Link to info shared from Steven Covey: https://www.franklincovey.com/habit-5/
Link to Post from Marriage Sense - To Busy Spouse: https://marriagesense.org/2018/11/29/dear-busy-spouse-sincerely-your-marriage-counselor/
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