Overcoming Should: Recent Episodes
Felter Unfiltered
A podcast where we say FU to the "shoulds" of life and grow at our own pace.
Whether stated or subconscious, the word “should” often defines our direction, decisions, and inner dialogue. And it needs to be challenged!
hosted by Felter Unfiltered
Here are 3 easy steps to get that design done next time you boss asks you to "just throw something together real quick"
🔗 Create with Confidence: design course for non-designers
📷 Free design tips + tricks on Instagram
I need something from you, and I need you to pick up right now. You need to be available 24/7.
In this episode, I discuss ever-evolving communication boundaries with a realtor and podcaster. I also interview a licensed counselor on what healthy communication boundaries might look like and how to actually establish them.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Jenelle, Olivia, or Felter
If there's something about your personality that is seen as undesirable, unbecoming, or unpopular, you should just change it and be different.
In this episode, I interview someone who was known as the "shy kid" growing up, but eventually learned to appreciate it instead of getting over it. I also spoke with a coach about why we view certain personality traits as good and others as bad.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Laura, Jacqui, or Felter
The majority of adults will get married and make a vow to another person at some point in their lives. But what happens when til death do us part is more like, til dealbreaker do us part? Til disrespect do us part? Or til disaster do us part?
In this episode, I interview a woman who firmly believes in honoring her vow, but made the decision to end her marriage. I also spoke with a relationship coach about marriage, divorce, and the sanctity of vows.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Chantal, Cheri, or Felter
✨ Get $10 off your first Instcart order
Go to school. Get good grades. Get a good job. Make money. And be a productive citizen. It's the only way to do it. But what if there's another way? Or another calling? Or you could just take a break from it for a little bit? In this episode, I interview an engineer who quit her high-stress job to travel the world. I also interview a coach who shares why we're conditioned to choose money over fulfillment.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Cali, Jacqui, or Felter
✨ Get $25 off your first Calpak order of $150 or more
For some who are just being true to themselves, they may be viewed as out of place, out of turn, or out of touch by others.
In this episode, you'll hear from someone who has made a career out of being herself and encourages others to do the same. You'll also hear from a licensed counselor who shares her view on living authentically.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Dr. Erika, Cheri, or Felter
✨ Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/felter
It's the award, medal, degree, title, and LinkedIn profile. It's anything tangible that says, "I'm good. I'm worthy. I'm successful." But what happens when the tangible achievements lack personal fulfillment, and our heart desires a different path?
In this episode, you'll hear a woman's story of leaving the "stable job with benefits" for the unknown and uncertainty of entrepreneurship. You'll also hear from a licensed counselor on how our educational upbringing conditions us to need to achieve, win, and get the "A."
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Brittnee, Jennifer, or Felter
✨ Get $5 off your first Quip toothbrush refill
Listen as I reflect on my year and share the "shoulds" I overcame, plus what's new in 2022 🎉
🔗 SHOW NOTES: More info on Felter + this bonus episode
Once we hit a certain age, there's a feeling that we should know what's ahead, what's next, or what's right. But that's not always so clear.
Many of us question if we've chosen the right degree, job, city, industry, or all of the above.
In this episode, you'll hear from someone who has changed careers, industries, and paths many times, and most recently at the age of 50. You'll also hear from a licensed counselor who shares her thoughts on having it figured out.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Laura, Jennifer, or Felter
✨ Get 30% off your first purchase at The Bouqs Company
Maybe the topic is uncomfortable, unfathomable, or upsetting, but it could be someone's reality. And silencing them for your benefit may not be helpful.
In this episode, I interview an incredible woman with a history of abuse who has one of the most positive and joyous personalities I've ever experienced. I also interview a licensed therapist to get her take on what not to say to an abuse survivor.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Charmaine, Maureen, or Felter
✨ Start selling custom products with Printify
Here's a quick behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to get an episode off the ground, and why I didn't have one ready this week. You'll also hear me answer some of my most common listener questions.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: More info Felter + this bonus episode
🔗 GUEST INTEREST FORM: Be a guest on Overcoming Should
✨ Shop Squatty Potty: The #1 way to #2!
Blood is thicker than water. There's no place like home. A family that plays together, stays together. Home is where the heart is. For anyone with strained, complex, or difficult family relationships, these phrases may induce nausea rather than nostalgia--especially around the holidays.
In the episode, I interviewed someone with a very difficult upbringing who has had to rewrite their own definition of family. I also interviewed a licensed therapist on her thoughts on family, unconditional love, and how the heck to make it though the holidays.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: More info for Vada, Maureen, or Felter
✨Shop my Black Friday Bundle: 35% off my two best-selling items
You're a warrior. You can beat this. You need to fight. For those who have been diagnosed with cancer, being told to fight may not be the most uplifting piece of advice and may feel more like an impossible expectation.
In the episode, I interviewed two breast cancer survivors. The first guest was diagnosed twice and had two very different thoughts on fighting each time. My second guest, a licensed therapist, shared her experience and her thoughts on the fight mentality.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Connect with Cindy, Michelle, and Felter
✨Get an extra 20% off your first Aerie purchase
There is a thought that if your feelings don't seem valid to someone else, they dismiss them as insignificant, exaggerated, or fabricated. Other people know what you should or shouldn't feel, whether or not they've experience the same things as you. In the episode, I interview someone who's grown up with social media--through pre-teen, teen, college, and adult years. She shares the push and pull she's felt and the quitting and trying again she's done. I also spoke with a licensed therapist on her thoughts on social media.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: Links for Lauren, Lisa, or Felter
✨Get $10 off your first Instacart order
It's the idea that age and time directly equal amount of experience. It means that you can't possibly have anything to offer as a young person. But what does young actually mean? In this episode, I interview the youngest muslim elected official in the US, and we talk about on her journey to politics and what it's been like since then. I also speak with a licensed therapist on why we hold ourselves and others back due to age.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: More about Bushra Amiwala, Lisa Mustard, and this episode
✨ Get 30% off your first purchase at The Bouqs Co
For children, teens, and adults with learning differences, being told to not reach so high is an unfortunate reality. They can have limitations placed on them by others who are incapable of seeing their full potential.
In this episode, I interview one of those students. She's a mother of two and a school vice principal who was told at a young age to be more realistic. I also spoke with an educational psychologist about her work with learning differences.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: More about Delphine Rule, Dr. Richelle Whitaker, and this episode
✨ Get $20 off your Away order
The pressure to get it right the first time implies that we have limitless knowledge of our strengths, our talents, and our desires infinitely into the future. It's the kind of thinking that holds us back from changing our mind and prevents us from taking a leap into something less traditional.
In this episode, I interview a recent college graduate who is finding his way in the professional world after graduating at the start of the global pandemic. I also spoke with a licensed therapist who has plenty of experience helping those of us who are afraid of making mistakes.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-13/
✨ Get 10% off in the Felter Unfiltered shop with code SHOULD10
There's an idea that preventative measures can be taken and you have the power to stop something bad from happening. But in reality, this is incredibly damaging for victims and survivors.
In this episode, I speak with a college student who started a sexual assault support and awareness organization at her university. I also interview a licensed therapist who has helpful insight for survivors of sexual trauma, as well as allies, advocates, friends, and family.
🤍 The national sexual assault hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7. Call 800-656-HOPE or go to rainn.org to chat with someone. On RAINN's website, you can also view additional resources and laws by state.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-12
The idea of grinning and bearing it is that it's better for other people to not be made uncomfortable by your discomfort. No matter what's happening, no matter who hurt you, no matter your pain, just put a smile on your face so it looks like you're having a good time.
In this episode, learn about a college student's journey through a toxic world of competitive figure skating and her ultimate decision to leave it behind. You’ll also hear from a licensed psychologist on why we feel the need to put on our big girl panties and get over it.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-11
✨ Get $25 off your first Calpak order of $150 or more
To celebrate the first 10 episodes of Overcoming Should, here's a mailbag episode featuring Felter and her intern Ellie. They discuss what they do behind the scenes, reflect on the podcast so far, and answer some listener questions.
If you love the podcast so far, please leave a 5-star review! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The idea of having it all is that we NEED all these other things to be fulfilled, complete, and seen as valid by others. But then you no longer get ID’ed, start getting heartburn, and have to start making big decisions about what “it all” really is.
In this episode, you’ll get to peek behind the curtain and hear what it’s really like to be one of those people you’d see at a meeting, at a fundraiser, or on your social feed and say “oh, she’s got it all”. You’ll also hear from a licensed clinical social worker on what to do when having it all isn’t quite working out.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-10
✨Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp
Whether at a party, out with friends, or enjoying dinner, having a drink or two is usually the norm. It goes together like eggs and bacon, Jim and Pam, or wine and cheese.
But sometimes we feel guilt for that last drink. and think... am I drinking too much? too often? too early? do I need to have another?
In this episode, I speak with a pharmacist who curbed her habit for over drinking on her own and now helps other women do the same. You’ll also hear from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist on why we feel pressure to have that next drink.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-9/
✨ Get $5 off your first Quip toothbrush refill
The need to be grateful implies that no matter what we're struggling with or what we've been through, we need to focus on what's going right and be thankful. And yes, in principle that sounds great, but sometimes the desire to be grateful brings on other feelings of guilt, loneliness, isolation, and resent.How can we find gratitude for the good, while not rushing past the pain?
In this episode, I speak with a young professional who has struggled with gratitude throughout her career and while pursuing a master's degree while working. You’ll also hear from a therapist and coach on the best way to feel grateful.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-8
✨Start selling custom products with Printify
We want to think that we're smart enough, wise enough, savvy enough, and prepared enough to prevent harm from happening to us. We want to think that we can take all the right steps and do all the right things to avoid the bad stuff. But it just doesn't work that way.
In this episode, I speak with someone whose world was turned upside down several decades ago when her husband was murdered and the secrets he'd kept came to light. You’ll also hear from a practicing psychologist on the big-picture view of healing from trauma related to crimes, combat, and disaster.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-7
✨Get an extra 20% off your first Aerie purchase
I'm not a big fan of the word strong. To me, it implies that no matter what happens, we present a picture of togetherness and braveness. But what about those things that happen that knock us off our feet and we never see coming. What about when we lose those people that hold us up.
In this episode, I interviewed a long-time friend of mine who lost his dad to a rare disease a few years ago. He shares what it was like in the time leading up to his dad's death and what the healing process has been like since. You’ll also hear from a psychologist on her own personal story of loss and how we support ourselves and others through extreme grief.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-6
✨Get $10 off your first Instcart order
Is it possible for us to know every next step from age 16 to age 65? The pressure to know what we want to do with our lives starts at a young age and it never stops.
In this episode, we'll talk with someone who went from a BioChem major with medical school dreams, to corporate America, and every job rabbit hole she's been down since. You’ll also hear from a former therapist on how to embrace being multi-passionate and be open to what's ahead, instead of feeling the pressure to laser-focus on a career from day 1.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-5
✨ Get $20 off your first Away order
The idea here is that we can just skip to the end. Move on. Get back to the good part. No one wants to deal with pain or be uncomfortable, so let's just make it all better. But that's not how life happens. Life can be painful. Life can be uncomfortable. Life doesn't always consult us first.
In this episode, I interview a young woman who was diagnosed with life-changing cancer in her early 30's. As a warning, her story is incredibly candid and covers fertility, female reproductive health, and of course, cancer. You’ll also hear from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist on how to handle infertility, grief, and being sensitive to others.
🔗 SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-4/
✨ Get 10% off your purchase of Felter Unfiltered merch with code SHOULD10: felterunfiltered.com/shop
The need to be perfect is all wrapped up in wanting to be successful, to be a good team player, and to be recognized. It rears its ugly head through guilt, shame, and insecurity.
In this episode, you'll hear from someone who's worked through their relationship with perfectionsim as an adult and how it formed through their abusive childhood. You’ll also hear from a licensed therapist on some tips for those dealing with a need to be perfect.
🔗SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-3/
✨Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/felter
How do things like passion and purpose play a role in the ladder climb? What happens when you want something else beyond money and to be higher up in the food chain? How do those things define our ability to make a living?
In this episode, you'll hear from someone who grew up in a highly conventional setting, but decided to eventually step off the ladder to pursue something different. You’ll also hear from a certified coach and former therapist on how to combat pressure to be more and do more in your career--when that's not what you want to do.
🔗SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-2/
✨ Get $25 off your first Calpak order of $150 or more: http://rwrd.io/iernwqc
The idea of sticking it out is that it will get better, get easier, or the right decision will get clearer. But a lot of times it just prolongs the inevitable.
In this episode, you’ll hear from someone who struggled with whether or not to leave a job they loved, because they kept getting reassured they’d be promoted. You’ll also hear from a licensed clinical social worker on how to cope with stick-it-out situations.
🔗SHOW NOTES: https://felterunfiltered.com/episode-1/
✨ Get $5 off your first Quip toothbrush refill: https://getquip.com/rf?referral_code=89j8wh5l
Launching August 10, 2021, Overcoming Should will explore common expectations and limitations that prevent us from living our best lives.
Be sure to subscribe, so you don't miss out!
Each week, you'll hear mini-stories from listenters, a featured interview, and an expert's opinion on a common "should."
Be on the show or get more info: overcomingshould.com
Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/felter.unfiltered
More info about me: felterunfiltered.com