Terminally Online: Recent Episodes
Terminally Online
Hosts Hannah and Tori bring you stories from the deep corners of the internet, discussing trends, memes, and niche drama.
This week democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani wins the NYC mayoral election!! Also: Dick Cheney dies (rest in piss!), Olivia Rodrigo takes a stand against ICE, and Mr Beast plans to open a theme park in… Riyadh? Sure, why not. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: inshallah, single issue voting, Connecticutters, 67, and Jorts the cat.
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This week the No Kings protests made a big splash, the NYC mayoral race debate sparked some memes, chic crime is back with an old-fashioned jewelry heist at the Louvre, DHS spread lies about a minor on Twitter, and a Scottish lass goes viral for faking an entire pregnancy and child. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: whiny piss babies, antifa flashbacks, the chicest crime, the new Pokemon game, and celebrity TikTok comments.
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This week Taylor Swift releases a new album and it really is…something! We discuss all the hot takes: Charli XCX beef! Questionable lyricism! Potential song plagiarism! AI usage for promo videos! Plus, comedians attending the Riyadh Comedy Festival get online backlash and University of Washington students chase out a Nazi disruptor. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: chopped, CTE by proxy, leave Olivia Rodrigo alone!!!!!!!!!, a Fortnite streamer interviews Gavin Newsom, and the last words of Jane Goodall.
This week Charlie Kirk gets killed by memes (?), we can’t believe we have to defend Jimmy Kimmel, one YouTuber ends up in the middle of a revolution in Nepal, and apparently the Rapture is coming (according to TikTok). Hoo boy, what a time for us to return from hiatus. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: mouth noises, summering in Italy, PTSD dog, camo pants, and new music artist Victor Jones.
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This week SOMETHING might be happening with Trump, Taylor and Travis break the internet with their engagement news, Rolling Stone names their top influential influencers, the US Open leads to internet drama, Sabrina Carpenter uses AI for her merch, and Gap releases a denim ad without eugenics messaging! Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: panini (plural), Gaylor nation in shambles, Betty Who?, Anthony Bourdain on Cracker Barrel, and Amelia Bedelia.
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This week Taylor Swift announces her new album, a TikToker falls in love with her psychiatrist, ChatGPT tries to curb AI psychosis, Reddit bans the Internet Archive, and Chappell Roan releases new music. Plus, we read new reviews from our besties! Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Teatime with Tori, brain rot summer, and moreso Krobus, and pygmy hippo fun facts.
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This week the Coldplay canoodlers go viral, Justin Timberlake "performs" on tour, Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan's deaths receive very different reactions, Trisha Paytas reveals her latest baby's name, Sydney Sweeney promotes eujeanics, the women's safety dating app Tea gets hacked, VShojo is in shambles, and Colbert gets canceled. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Hot Pocket kids, oh no... anyway, Mark Mercer, and stolen sandwich artist valor.
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This week Olivia Rodrigo posts in support of Palestine, we discuss the Gen-Z stare, TikTok rallies behind the antipasto salad woman, and we bring on our special guest Oliver to talk about the anime horse girl game sweeping the internet: Umamusume Pretty Derby! Oh, and we also chat about the Epstein files news. This episode really has everything, huh? Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Girlie pop nation news, iPad adults, normie-adjacent, a touring DND live show, and I don’t even go here.
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This week Zohran Mamdani makes history by winning the NYC mayoral Democratic primary! Hannah and Tori discuss the internet reaction to his upset and, of course, share the best memes. Then we take a turn to discuss the Bezos wedding in Venice and the Sabrina Carpenter album cover discourse. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Biden ride-or-die, Dimes Square, jschlatt's grandma, Deltarune, and millenial ear worms.
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This week it’s loser on loser crime with Elon vs. Trump, a comedian pulls a long con social media prank on Congressman Ted Yoho, the Switch 2 drops, a woman on TikTok sparks a great couch color debate, and Google releases a very unsettling video AI program. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: don’t ever speak to me in that tone again, not pizza, content creator VanillaMace, and Tori’s latest Pokemon obsession.
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This week Joe Biden announces he has cancer, Justin Bieber continues the ritual humiliation of his wife Hailey Bieber, a boat crashes into the Brooklyn Bridge, “ChatGPT psychosis” is a thing, and the Lilo & Stitch live action remake faces backlash. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: broken cat muffler, no (heart emoji), Anastasia memes, and Hannah’s review of the Broadway play John Proctor is the Villain.
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This week a new pope just dropped, the New York Times doxxes a Reddit snarker, former NYC mayor Bill de Blasio keeps up with the memes, the internet debates 100 men vs. one gorilla, a viral TikToker quits his job to sail to Hawaii with his cat, and political streamer Hasan Piker gets detained at the border for being anti-Trump. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: train karma, what's your popesona, unhand me, Twenty-Sided Tavern's swan song, and the controversial new Joan Didion publication.
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This week JD Vance kills the pope (for legal purposes this is a joke!), Katy Perry returns from space, Kanye West gets banned from Twitch, the MrBeast Experience in Vegas makes a bunch of influencers big mad, an absurd joke sweeps TikTok, an au pair doesn’t understand what it means to be an au pair, and actor BJ Novak is allegedly dating TikToker Delaney Rowe. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: spring break is over, and I’ve been homeless, Liz stop texting me, Dropout TV’s Game Changer sets a new high bar, and Tumblr shitposting.
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This week one man’s morning routine goes viral, Chappell Roan goes on the Call Her Daddy podcast, TikTok’s ban gets kicked down the road, JK Rowling is on another one (this time about asexuality), tariffs hit the gamers where it hurts, and a bunch of rich women think they’re revolutionary for space tourism. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: the future liberals want, New York City TikTok, art historian RuPaul, and a new cozy game rec from Tori.
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This week the people are protesting Tesla, Vivian Wilson speaks out about her father, Starbucks gets sued, streamers Ludwig Ahgren and Michael embark on an epic Japan road trip, MrBeast spoils his future videos, and the years-long Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez feud comes back into the spotlight. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: the philosophy of Steve Buscemi, cheese and PowerPoint parties, teenage vandalism shenanigans, The Pitt, and Republicans from Narnia.
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This week Casey Anthony joins TikTok, we lose a few celebrity legends, the French do what they do best (burn things to the ground – this time a Tesla dealership), the Democrats remain useless, and a Broadway leading man crashes out on his Instagram stories. Let’s get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: How the sausage is made, thinking of going outside, we’ve done nothing and we’re all out of ideas, sexy fried rice, and when it happens.
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This week in court Luigi Mangione serves LOOKS (and a potential death penalty sentence), new California legislation sends mommy vloggers packing, a TikToker gets blowback for attacking a rando's wedding registry, and YouTuber Ethan Klein is having the crash out of the year. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Purrcasting, the politics of snarking, bitch eating crackers, TripAdvisor coming in clutch, sea turtle fun facts, and a new video game rec from Tori.
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This week the Grammys gives Beyonce her flowers, the Superbowl was a win for the culture, one makeup trend on TikTok pisses off the MAGA ladies, Time Magazine’s new cover pisses off Trump, Elon gets r/whitepeopletwitter banned, and the good people of Lincoln Heights run the Nazis out of their city. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Must be Tuesday, Books Are My Hart, character building, dumb together, a rare anglerfish sighting, and Tori’s latest hyper-fixation, Slay the Spire.
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This week TikTok comes back from the dead, DeepSeek emerges as a strong ChatGPT competitor, Irish Spring becomes a Reddit meme, and Eln Msk does Nazi shit (as Nazis do!). Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: well let's get this over with, Midwestern clout, Brennan Lee Mulligan overload, IT CAN'T BE THAT MANY THINGS, a Pokémon game playthrough, and Hannah does a little self-promotion.
Buy The Autodidact on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS1J6VWQ
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This week L.A. is on fire, TikTok is on the chopping block for real this time, Blake Lively sues Justin Baldoni's PR people, and Elon Musk gets exposed for cheating at video games. We're so back, baby!! Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: casual January 6th hangouts, mom sponsors, we're so smart and pretty, Tori's content corner, and bodega hopecore.
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This week we talk about the CEO assassination heard 'round the internet, Antisemite of the Year, the Streamer Awards, the for-real-this-time (?) Tik Tok ban, and a Reddit Christmas-themed TIFU story! Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Happy Honda Days, last cat ASMR of the season, holiday character smash or pass, and Luigi the Mario Brother triggers class consciousness.
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This week our besties at Pod Save America hold a disastrous interview with the Kamala Harris campaign staffers, Biden pardons his large adult failson, we hold space for Defying Gravity, dirtbag streamer Destiny and literal white supremacist Nick Fuentes maybe hooked up (???) (ALLEGEDLY), and we do the “we listen and we don’t judge” meme. Let’s get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Tori the trad wife, momsplaining TERFs, whom amongst us, a Paul Blart rewatch podcast, and ChatGPT conspiracy theories.
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This week Nicole Scherzinger gets exposed for her sus Instagram likes, People Magazine names John Krasinski the Sexiest Man Alive (?????), Twitch undergoes an Adpocalypse-- oh yeah, and the election happened. Welp. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: The upside of climate change, Maybe Happy Ending, protect your peace, Gastronauts, and women will have their revenge on Nick Fuentes.
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This week we're covering the death rattles of democracy, Gay Halloween, a nuisance YouTuber who gets what he deserves in South Korea, the TikTok NYC diner reviewer feud, and the Jenkins Family drama. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, problematic fave John Mulaney, space is none of Olivia Rodrigo's business, and Hades 2.
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This week we're covering the shocking death of Liam Payne, streamers bribing people into broadcasting Hurricane Milton, the controversial "Mr Beast" billboards, and Cynthia Erivo having a normal one over a Wicked fan edit. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: The return of cat ASMR, touch Mary Jane, Lunchables money, Chicken Shop Date, and Markiplier's leading man debut.
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This week Kamala Harris goes on the Call Her Daddy podcast, Tim Walz goes on WeRateDogs, Logan Paul has beef with a Minecraft kid, indicted Mayor Eric Adams proves ACAB, and we spill the tea about the Queen of Afternoon Tea TikTok drama. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: touchy smoke alarms, a Wikipedia page about the Wikipedia page on Wikipedia, flexing our American public-school educations, cozy baking season, and Dimension 20's long-awaited sequel!
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This week we're back from Tokyo and jumping headfirst into sad girl autumn! So much has happened: Moo Deng the hippo goes viral, someone tries to pew-pew Trump (again), we reflect on lessons learned on the first anniversary since the Titan submersible implosion, Katy Perry's new album tanks, The Bear causes Emmy controversy, MrBeast and Logan Paul partner together and it's exactly as awful as you would imagine, and a right-wing conspiracy theory wreaks havoc on the internet. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: Mariah is coming, we're not doing this here, #allbillionairelivesmatter, Void Stranger, and Celebrity Number Six.
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This week Chappell Roan rebukes parasocial relationships, Twitter gets banned in Brazil, Trump disrespects the Troops, and a would-be burgular gets distracted by Greek mythology. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Tokyo!!!!, Tori's anime protagonist fantasies, lovingly written podcast episode descriptions, you should be bad, and very niche TikTok fan edits.
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This week we catch up on Olympic memes, the "very demure, very mindful" TikTok trend sweeping the internet, Trump's AI Taylor Swift endorsement and interview with streamer Aiden Ross that may have violated a couple FEC regulations, the Blake Lively drama, and MORE! Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: ballz to the Walz, purrcasting, Katy Perry fell off!!!, Sailor Moon bullying, DND genderflipping, and Fields of Mistria.
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This week we're getting political! First: it's SO JOEVER! Biden drops out of the race! Kamala is having a brat summer! JD Vance does WHAT with couches?!! (Allegedly!) Also, a TikTok leftist faces backlash for his hot take! Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Pet names, maybe don't, gentle parent yourself, the Q anon of the left, not driving is praxis, and ConnorDawgVA raises money for the IDF (the good one).
This week Donald Trump survives an assassination attempt (for better or worse!), a bunch of celebrities died, JustPearlyThings gets read to filth in a Twitter beef, and this heat wave has us full of existential dread. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Tori the conspiracy theorist, a wholesome Shelley Duvall story, r/bushwick meme wars, and TikTok hopecore.
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This week America as a whole loses the Presidential Debate, Justin Timberlake gets arrested for a DWI, we memorialize an iconic stingray, and Dr. Disrespect's Twitch ban is explained. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: the straightest holiday, Mick Jagger the journalist, I hate it thank you, murder muffins, and Monet's Slumber Party.
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This week Hannah and Tori put on their Internet Lawyer Hats! First up, stan Twitter spotlights exposed corruption in the trial of rapper Young Thug. Next on the docket is the U.S. Department of Justice suing Adobe for scummy billing practices. We're holding everyone in contempt!
Other topics of discussion include: keep your secrets, this is a Christian Minecraft server, you guys have dads??, wild animal fun facts, and Darren Criss's criminal baby naming practices.
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This week Hades 2 causes widespread bisexual panic, a love triangle has TikTok in a chokehold, two old school YouTubers may be in their friends-to-enemies arc, the internet debates the idea of being "culturally queer," and New Yorkers hate Trump. Happy Pride everybody!
Other topics of discussion include: co-independence, queer passing haircuts, f*ck buckets, the coastal elite, corporate Pride memes, and the female gaze.
This week TikToker Haley Baylee becomes the unwitting catalyst for a digital guillotine, singer-songwriter Ethel Cain's Instagram stories get her likely added to several government watchlists, some gamer bros decry a video game character's outfit change and other gamer bros decry a different video game for acknowledging women/non-white people. Extremely normal stuff, folks!!
Other topics of discussion include: Special guest Pico de Gato, Livejournal nostalgia, anime t*tties, bear every time, thoughts on the new Bridgerton season, and funny Twitch streamer Squeex.
This week the Hannahs in their Sunday best discuss Taylor Swift's latest album, The Tortured Poets Department, a fortnight after its release! (See what we did there?) Special guest and Swiftology correspondent Other Hannah joins the pod to break it down - aspiring actor Joe Alwyn! British dirtbag Matty Healy! America's Himbo Travis Kelce! And...Kim Kardashian? Olivia Rodrigo???
Also: Why is Taylor singing so much about Florida? What happened there??
All this and more in the episode!
This week the Watcher YouTube channel implodes, a TikToker gets an A24 movie deal (...or does she??), an AI scandal hits a Baltimore school, and the internet debates man vs. bear. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: generational monikers, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, we are the gays, squish me daddy, Taylor Swift's new meme, and Hasan Piker feeding the gamer frogs.
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This week we introduce the (AI-generated) song of the summer, catch up on the New York earthquake and eclipse memes, mourn the absence of a legend at this year's Coachella, and add a hefty helping of OJ to the Rest in Piss bucket. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Shakespeare could never, don't worry about it, woo woo, gory cartoon video games, and fun with Titanic.
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This week Joe Lieberman kicks the bucket, the TikTok girlies of NYC are on high alert with serial punchers on the loose, J-Lo's bodega order goes viral, streamers struggle to name 100 women, and a TikToker gets outed for faking her Mennonite-ism. Plus, we provide updates on Kate Middleton and Ruby Franke. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: how do??, beautiful and natural, herstory, Stardew Valley updates, a wholesome TikTok story, and Unpaid Intern.
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This week we're diving further into the Kate Middleton conspiracy theories, TikTok might actually get banned in the U.S., Adin Ross commits a Top 10 Anime Betrayal against Andrew Tate, and a serious streamed Israel/Palestine debate gets unserious. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: fun purchases of the week, join our (nonexistent) Patreon, an affront to God, the Dune popcorn bucket, and Hallmark movie pitches.
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This week TikTok has a wholesome moment, Smell-O-Vision comes to life (kinda) thanks to AI, conspiracies abound about the status of Kate Middleton, and a Willy Wonka pop-up goes viral for all the wrong reasons. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Space enbys, sharing memes as a love language, Hannah's Amal Clooney run-in, r/travel, and Tumblr throwbacks.
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This week a husband trashes his wife's novel on Goodreads, a woman airs out the wild stories of her pathological liar ex on TikTok, and an estranged dad finds a not-so-surprising ally in Elon Musk after his daughter goes viral for roasting him. Let's get into it!!
Other topics of discussion include: low key vibes, Ethel Merman's podcast, the Deadbeat Dad Club, and revisiting old video games.
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This week a woman gets cyber-scammed out of $50k, a popular streamer leaks his own gooning material, Wil Wheaton has a lot of feelings about Larry David attacking Elmo on The Today Show, and Taylor Swift's attorneys make baseless legal threats against the college kid tracking her climate crimes. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: Margaritaville, just a little guy, I'm on Duck Tales, Larry, Chloe Sevigny's New Yorker judgments, and a memer's true legacy.
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This week the Grammys gets internet backlash, the dystopian future is here with Apple Vision's debut, TikTok gets riled up over a ceramic mug and gay bar drama discourse! In the words of Billy Eichner, let's go lesbians!!!!!!!!!
Other topics of discussion include: terminally cat ladies, BE NORMAL, blackouts, Will Neff, and jellyfish facts. Y'know, just girly things!
This week Taylor Swift takes on Twitter deep fakes, the Oscars snub Barbie (or do they??), and Megan Thee Stallion and Nicki Minaj are beefing (with bonus jump-scare-in-human-form Ben Shapiro). Let’s get into it and hope we don't get doxxed by the Barbz!
Other topics of discussion include: 90s kids, genderly cupping your face, British sword fighting, horse girls never die, and Aussie slang amongst Gen Alpha.
This week we're talking botched plastic surgery stories, the World Cruise drama on TikTok, and OG YouTuber MatPat's retirement. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: powerful cats, Sonic and South Park fandom beef, Post-Traumatic Fandom Stress Disorder, and the American Miyazaki.
This week the Ace family is dunzo, Hasidic Jews get caught building tunnels under a Brooklyn synagogue, and we've got an update on the TikTok Tunnel Lady! As a bonus, hold onto your David Yurman pearls, because special guest cohost Liz returns to discuss SMU Rush Tok!
Other topics of discussion include: silent investors, fancy b*tches, bad drivers, bad CEOs, entrapping patriots, and an early contender for Worst Tweets of 2024!
This week Jo Koy bombs at the Golden Globes, the Epstein list gets revealed, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is a free woman, Stanley cup drama hits a new level, the BBC bullies a kid who beat Tetris, and the tweens are overtaking Sephora. Hide your Drunk Elephant glow drops!!
Other topics of discussion include: New Year's resolutions, lots of documentary recommendations, niche TikTok memes, and the bravest girl on planet earth.
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This week George Santos puts the con in content, Matt Rife is beefing with a 6-year-old, there's new Twitch meta to discuss, and we do a retrospective on the Worst Tweets Of 2023. Let's end the year with a bang!
Other topics of discussion include: the vibes are f*cked, morally dubious Cameos, visible rings, giving serial killers their flowers (literally), and a TikTok haul trend that is actually...wholesome???
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We're celebrating our 50th episode by talking about "comedian" Matt Rife's Netflix special backlash, Henry Kissinger getting struck down in the prime of life, and gay crime icon George Santos reaching the peak of his villain arc.
Other topics of discussion include: The two genders, chaotic Friendsgiving, meeting Fran Lebowitz, binging The Bear, rest in Pissinger, the moon, and -ussy etymology.
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This week Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce step up the PDA, celebrities continue being messy about geopolitical affairs, a TikToker mines a tunnel under her suburban home, Caroline Calloway is at it again, Lauren the Mortician needs to stop, NFT bros get blinded (and not by greed, for once!), and Omegle gets shut down. So much to talk about!
Other topics of discussion include: DIY podcasting, Connor is my cat, Sarah MacLachlan karaoke, a sea of dicks, New York TikTok, and The Flavor.
This week we're talking foodie drama: Scooped bagel discourse makes the rounds and TikTok food critic Keith Lee causes waves in Atlanta's restaurant scene. Plus, we share our favorite cooking content creators, past and present (RIP OG Bon Appetit Test Kitchen).
Other topics of discussion include: Election Day, pre-gaming Christmas, bird news, the watermelon game, mafia pizza, and Stu Pickles is so real for that.
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This week the internet mourns Matthew Perry, the Gaylors are in shambles, and as the last throes of Halloween give way to proper sweater weather, Tori shares a bunch of scary stories from r/nosleep as one last hurrah.
Other topics of discussion include: Cozy season, Meow Mix auditions, the woods are none of my business, The Great British Baking Show returns, and horror movie Wikipedia rabbit holes.
In honor of the spooky season, we bring you the ANNE RICE LORE EXTRAVAGANZA! Hannah relays Anne Rice's greatest fandom hits, including: Anne Rice versus fanfic writers! Anne Rice versus Amazon reviewers! And who could forget, Anne Rice versus random small craft blogger! Don't like this episode? Clearly you are interrogating the text from the wrong perspective.
Other topics of discussion include: voice memos from the bayou, the silly goose police, no bummer zones, FranCon, and soapy rice.
This week the FEMA alert turned us into zombies, Ben Shapiro and Andrew Tate have Twitter beef, celebrities fumble the response to the Israel-Hamas attacks, Hailey Bieber reclaims Halloween in the name of Jesus, men on Twitter jump at the chance to hate on women, and to get the taste of misogyny out of your mouth, we go over some examples of boy math. Buckle in, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!
Other topics of discussion include: Travis Kelce and Aaron Rodgers in the trenches of the vaccine wars, Hannah is in her Tick, Tick…Boom! era, Mothman’s sweet cheeks, and reading listener reviews of the podcast.
This week love is in the air! Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have the internet in a frenzy, and then we do a deep dive on TikTok's Lisa Mia. What seems on the surface like (not so) innocent trauma-dumping through a Starbucks drive-through turns out to be... well, a lot more. And we do mean A LOT.
Other topics of discussion include: customer service voices, everyone wants to be Joan Didion, low stakes Facebook group in-wars, and autistic memes.
This week a TikToker peddles quackery about healing eyesight through the power of thought, an influencer's meltdown during NYFW goes viral, and a racist streamer gets his comeuppance. Big week for annoying people!!
Other topics of discussion include: ambient noise YouTube channels, it's a cult baby!!, the girl with the notebook, and unhinged grandpa fashion.
This week Drew Barrymore, Bill Maher, and Jason Bateman continue the Celebrity Apology Tour, the Tabi Tinder Thief gets doxxed on TikTok, apparently men can't stop thinking about the Roman Empire, Unity Games is fleecing its users, and Elon Musk wants to charge everyone to use his hell site. Shenanigans all around!
Other topics of discussion include: Good words, everyone's a renter, my aunt's son-in-law's friend's godchildren, hahaha...unless???, deadly-but-cute creature Facebook groups, and me-coded memes.
This week Olivia Rodrigo spills her GUTS, the internet hates Joe Jonas, Tucker Carlson claims Obama has dethroned Nancy Reagan as the throat GOAT, and Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis suck at internet apology videos. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: How do you do fellow kids, ambient noise out of control, Fae Farm, realistic tv cops, and Japanese psyops through cute Pokemon games.
Gwyneth Paltrow is at it again! Then Hannah delves into the recent arrest of family vlogger Ruby Franke on child abuse charges. After that, Tori explains the gamer guy meltdowns over the existence of pronouns. It's a terrible week to have ears!
Other topics of discussion include: Chess.com drama update, Primink is so back, and the adorable successor to Tater Tot the cat.
Hannah gives a quick update on the Taylor Swift TikTok impersonator's latest drama before we jump into Reddit stories: First, a charity donation gone wrong (but also kind of right??) and then some classic Bridezilla drama. Let's gooooo!!
Other topics of discussion include: Christmas in September, deviant septums, Don McLean jokes, a rerun from Tori, and there's no crying in podcasting!
Special guest host Liz returns to join Hannah in talking about everything that happened this week: The Lil Tay death hoax, Rachel Zegler's girl bossifcation of Snow White, Lizzo disappointing a nation, and the viral TikTok Eurotrash dance song sensation.
Other topics of discussion include: Homophobic math, Halloween costume ideas for 2023, celebrity nose jobs, airport dads, and Bama rush tok.
Everyone's acting up this week! Hannah and Tori talk about Twitch streamer Kai Cenat accidentally starting a teen riot in NYC, the Alabama riverboat brawl that went viral, and then we're farming the TikTok maximalist interior designer feud for content, baby.
Other topics of discussion include: Taking the L, Waffle House, morally ambiguous cat paintings, and WEEVIL TIME!!
On our one year anniversary, Hannah and Tori wax nostalgic about the origins of Terminally Online. Then we're diving into everything that happened this week: Mitch McConnell's on-camera health scare, aliens are real and nobody cares, a lot of famous people died (RIP), a popular gaming YouTube channel faces serious misconduct allegations, girl dinner, and the NPC trend.
Then Tori talks about why having ChatGPT as your lawyer is a bad idea, and Hannah dives into the hockey romance BookTok drama that crossed the line uncomfortably into real life.
Other topics of discussion include: going analog, iPad babies, women hobbies, and Tater Tot the cat.
WE'RE BACK from summer hiatus and there's so much to catch up on! First Hannah and Tori do a rapid-fire recap of the news we missed while on vacation, and then it's on to current events: Elon rebrands Twitter to X, Barbenheimer Fever has swept the nation, Ariana Grande and Spongebob cause a big scandal, and the Writer's Guild and SAG strike are rife for memeing.
Other topics of discussion include: Nickisnotgreen is YouTube gold, and the OTHER double feature of the week - this one inspired by Jimmy Buffet.
Did Colleen Ballinger write the song of the summer?? Hannah and Tori dissect the now infamous ukulele YouTube apology, explain the unsettling Grimace shake TikTok trend, and talk about how the Smosh channel has returned to its original creators.
Other topics of discussion include: Stream Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo on Spotify, seaside recuperation, toy xylophones, no such thing as bad publicity, viral hip hop duo Flyana Boss and Dungeons & Drag Queens. Protect Brennan Lee Mulligan at all costs!!!!
Breaking news! Reddit goes on strike, and they're not the only one with downed subs... Some obscenely rich people get a more immersive Titanic experience than they bargained for. Also, streamer XQC signs a sketchy hundred million dollar deal with the platform Kick. Hannah and Tori are covering it all!
Other topics of discussion include: Orca solidarity forever, TikTok jukebox musicals, and p*ssing on Margaret Thatcher's grave. Happy pride!
Hannah finally makes good on her promise/threat: THE TAYLOR SWIFT EPISODE IS HERE! Special guest co-host (Other) Hannah is here to delve into the endless drama: Taylor Swift and Joe Alywn! Taylor Swift and Matty Healy! Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo! Taylor Swift and her very...ahem...devoted fanbase!
We get into EVERYTHING in this super-sized episode. Buckle up, buttercup, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
To kick off, Tori gaslights Hannah about the apocalyptic air conditions in NYC before filling us in on the latest Andrew Tate mess. Then we're covering two literary dramas this week: Author Sarah Stusek feels the wrath of YA fandom after attacking a Goodreads reviewer on TikTok, and our favorite smol bean scammer Caroline Calloway somehow landed a Vanity Fair profile. Let's talk about it!
Other topics of discussion include: Rainbow capitalism, tattoogate, Sofia Coppola messy vs. anime messy, accidental deathly encounters, and TERFs getting owned by their own ideology.
It's our 30th episode! This week Hannah is in her Eras Tour era, Tori enables a little catchup of the Taylor Swift drama, Jubilee has men rate their rizz, watch out for the Citibike Karen, and the annoying TikTok prankster faces legal repercussions. Lots of badly behaving people to talk about!!
Other topics of discussion include: elastic shoelaces, heated gamer moments, Bob Saget as the catalyst for the decline of modern American society, self-care is over, Succession memes, and nummy Tumblr garbage.
This week we do a rapid-fire news breakdown: Elon Musk NAMES A WOMAN (CEO of Twitter), touching on the complicated legacy of Heather "Dooce" Armstrong, Vice goes bankrupt, and a debut author has the power of God and anime on her side.
Then in honor of Mother's Day, we drama farm Reddit for some mom-related stories!
Other topics of discussion include: 9/11 jokes, hyper fixations, Williamsburg loft parties, Johan the stable boy, and Bostonian Lovecraft.
So much to cover this week! RIP Jerry Springer, damning Ring doorbell camera footage gets Steven Crowder in hot water, the unexpected star of the Met Gala red carpet, the incel king has fallen! Also, Hannah gives a deep dive into Ken Waks's true crime conspiracy theories. (TW: There are some mentions of suicide and S.A. in this episode.)
Other topics of discussion include: Latchkey kid tv viewing, conservatism means no wife, the criminally stupid, Disney adults, lost Redditors, and insufferable indie female leads.
It's a jam-packed episode with so much to cover: Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon got shit canned! Twitter Blue rolled out and caused all kinds of stupid entertainment! Hasan Piker got a puppy! Bed Bath & Beyond is closing! Some lady on TikTok is mad about a public park!
Other topics of discussion include: PowerPoint parties, bedding decisions, secret messages through pizza, Low in Come, Stephen Colbert, and dwarf pussy.
We've got an assortment of stories this week: checking in on our favorite scammer Caroline Calloway, Nintendo is coming for your streamers, TikTok cake drama, and the extremely out of touch Miller Knoll CEO "motivational speech." Get a real job, lady!
Other topics of discussion include: "de-influencing," Correction Corner, I CAN FIX HIM, and Senator Feinstein's TikTok PR girl.
Hannah and Tori start off discussing the BREAKING NEWS of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn's breakup, and the internet's Totally Normal response! Then it's a slew of internet stories from the week: Snoop Dogg quits e-Sports, Hinge once again proves chivalry is dead, Bud Light goes woke, and Chris Tyson comes out as trans.
Other topics of discussion include: Succession (no spoilers!!), Papa "N-Word" John's, cross-borough dating etiquette, hyperfixations, the video game Dredge, 9/11 jokes, and charcunterie boards.
This week our very special guest Liz is here to explain the spicy drama from Vanderpump Rules. Settle in as she explains the tangled web of Toms, Sheena doing Sheena things, Raquel in her slut era, face punches, restraining orders, and poorly named restaurants!
Other topics of discussion: Leonard Cohen's big week, nostalgia TikTok, the See You Next Tuesday Sobriety Support Group, Pedro Pascal, an obsession with Succession - oh yeah, and the Florida Man got indicted. Let's goooooo!
By happenstance, we're covering some "scammer adjacent" stories: Hannah talks about the doula duper exposed on TikTok, Tori explains how celebrities may be in hot water for promoting crypto scams, and then it's time for Queen Goop (also known as Gwyneth Paltrow) to shine in her viral moment!
Other topics of discussion include: Hasan Piker's puppy search, a good vibe podcast rec, studying abroad gone wrong, justice for Monica Lewinsky, and Vajitas and Piccolos.
It's a grab bag episode and we've got tons to cover this week: The BBC tweeted out a study downplaying the mental health effects of the pandemic and boy, does Twitter have something to say about that! Billionaire MrBeast solicited free labor for candy shelf arrangement, Ludwig Ahgren crowdsourced locating his stolen car, The Streamer Awards after party had some drama, oh yeah, and the Oscars happened too. Also, Hannah and Tori spend way too much time workshopping their Jordan Peterson impressions.
Other topics of discussion include: Waxing nostalgic about the apocalypse, the internet hates women, iconic sandwiches, and Charlie's Angels (but not the ones you're thinking of).
This week we've decided to stop our quiet quitting long enough to bring you a themed episode centering on online work drama stories! First up Hannah tells the story she shared on AskAManager that went viral, and then Tori relays the saga of Satan's CPA from ol' reliable Reddit.
Other topics of discussion include: Hannah's tragic backstory, Tori brain no worky, big man in Japan, old school Gameboy classics making a comeback thanks to streamers, and a lo-fi comedian blows up on TikTok.
It's our twentieth episode and we're talking drama, drama, drama! First up Hannah tries unpacking the beef between Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez playing out over TikTok and Instagram stories. Next up, Tori talks Adin Ross getting banned from Twitch as he does an alt right pipeline speed run. What can we say, we live for the drama. Then we test each other's social media knowledge with trivia cards we bought from Five Below. What better way to certify ourselves as terminally online?
Other topics discussed include: Karens who aren't Karens, name nerd drama, Bourdain's inevitable internet fame, Maya Higa and Alveus animal sanctuary, and why horse girls never die.
This week we're talking about YouTuber Dhar Mann exploiting the actors in his corny videos, The Cut's new etiquette rules for our modern era, and the messy breakups of Twitch streamers Adept and XQC as well as Megan Fox and MGK. Let's get into it!
Other topics of discussion include: overheard in Brooklyn, Gen Z wants to bring back the Hays Code, and an RPG game where you get to play a raccoon trash goblin.
This week's episode is a grab bag of topics: From Mikayla Nogueira's Mascaragate scandal to Mr. Beast inciting conversations about the sad state of U.S. healthcare through his most recent clickbait video to TikTok's Taylor Swift impersonator's Grammys attendance drama to the very horrifying application of deepfakes, we've got it covered.
Other topics of discussion include: falling down in public, Beyonce's legacy, a shoutout from Moist Critical, and the gone but not forgotten early 2000s reality show Kid Nation.
Today's episode discusses the many messy controversies of internet Logan Paul. Tori fills Hannah in on his long history of "antics" ranging from a very morbid vlog from a Japanese forest, multiple crypto rug pulls, and pet abandonment. Get ready to grind your teeth in escalating anger!
Other topics discussed include: Leave teenage girls alone, Hannah's viral YouTube moment, and Jaboukie Young White.
We're finally doing it, baby: THE CAROLINE CALLOWAY DEEP DIVE! Hannah gives Tori the rundown on everything you need to know about scammer(?)/writer(???)/OG Instagram influencer Caroline Calloway. Let us take you on a journey that spans from the hallowed halls of Cambridge University to a completely trashed West Village studio apartment. Maybe the real treasure was the marks she scammed along the way. Join us, won't you?
Other topics of discussion include: Hello Fresh please sponsor us, JanuTori, bitches eating crackers, all hail the Mud Wizard, and true crime girlies who need to stop.
New year, new me(me)! Hannah kicks us off with the story of Susan Meacher's resurrection. Then we're bidding 2022 good riddance by revisiting the worst of the worst Twitter discourse from the past year and sharing our predictions for 2023. Buckle up, kids, it's gonna be a wild ride!
Other topics include: The existential dread of leaving your twenties, spilling the tea on Ryan Seacrest, cat ASMR, a surprising comment on a Fleetwood Mac YouTube video, and the Logan Paul NFT rug pull.
It's the Nightmare Before Christmas and we're bringing on our special guest and resident Spooky Expert Joe to discuss creepypasta! From Slenderman to SCP to the Mandela Catalogue, we're touching on our faves, what makes it good, and when it goes too far. (Cue spooky music!)
Other topics discussed include: Elon Musk getting booed offstage the Dave Chapelle show, the newly uncovered origins of "And they were roommates!", everyone's favorite twink Brian David Gilbert, and the viral Wednesday Adams TikTok dance.
Our good friend and special guest Dani joins us this week to tackle a host of topics: controversial Twitter discourse involving sick bowls and safe words, the Balenciaga ad scandal, the continued platforming of Ye’s antisemitism, Reddit AITA drama stories, and more!
CONTENT WARNING: Bodily fluids and some sex stuff are discussed in this episode, so maybe give this one a skip if you’re not cool with that!
Other topics discussed include: Reverse seasonal depression, when fictional characters share names of IRL people you know, Titanic girlies, Markiplier’s accolades, and what modern day things would make a Victorian era child go into a coma.
This week Hannah and Tori discuss the Fyre Fest-ing of Qatar’s World Cup (with bonus human rights violations!), Julia Fox’s TikTok presence, and YouTuber Markiplier joining OnlyFans. Also, Hannah explains Goncharov, the Martin Scorsese film that has Tumblr by the balls, and we read a Thanksgiving-themed AITA Reddit Post that will get your blood burning hotter than a cooked turkey!
Other topics of discussion include: girl ADD, why conservative humor is cringe, morosexuals, and Twitter’s continued death spiral.
We're back from our Wannabe Eurotrash Tour and recapping what the hell happened while we were gone! Twitter is melting down like the Ticketmaster website during the Taylor Swift presale. Hannah and Tori talk about the fallout from the new "Twitter Blue" subscription service, Elon Musk's negotiation tactics, and the best parody tweets.
Hannah also relays the lore of Twitter's first mean trending hashtag while Tori explains the most recent cryptocurrency scam.
Other topics include: Ameriboos, the pointlessness of arguing with strangers on the internet, The Crown's newest season, and the homoeroticism of building someone an art room.
This week is a grab bag of stories: Deadline’s Nikki Finke passed away, TwitchCon’s dubious safety protocols led to one streamer’s grievous injury, the Try Guys fallout continues, and more tea about Buzzfeed’s dysfunctional work environment gets spilled by ex-employees. After covering all that, Tori and Hannah swap some entertaining Reddit drama stories.
Other topics of discussion include: Eurotrash, fanfiction as the highest compliment, the sexiness of Emma D’arcy’s drink order, Overwatch 2, weird Twitter, and why JFK is the actual worst NYC airport.
This was a week of scandals: The Try Guys dropped an infidelity bombshell, mega popular YouTuber Dream revealed his face for the first time, and chess grandmaster Magnus Carlsen accused opponent Hans Niemann of cheating. If you couldn’t keep up with the endless drama, don’t worry – Hannah and Tori break it all down for you.
Other topics include: Wife guys, Buzzfeed millenials, and the insufferable antics of Kanye West and Lena Dunham.
This week Tori breaks down the ongoing Twitch implosions, including a scammer who conned over $300,000 from people on the platform (not a good time to be someone who goes by any variation of the name “Slick”), and then Hannah covers TikTok makeup guru Mikayla Nogueria, who recently came under fire for some out of touch commentary on the hardships of being a rich influencer.
Other topics discussed include: An update on the Bridgerton musical lawsuit, Adnan Syed of Serial infamy walks free, autumn in New York, and early favorites in the new season of The Great British Bakeoff.
What a week! Racists got mad about The Little Mermaid being black, Trump was mysteriously rushed off his golf course and to D.C., Trisha Paytas had her baby, and oh yeah, the queen is dead. (Rest in piss, Lizzie.) We also talk about how we met political-streamer-slash-himbo Hasan Piker in Times Square over the weekend.
Other topics of discussion include: Celebrity run-ins in NYC, cringy romance novels, and Hannah and Tori's assorted dating disaster stories.
Our grand return from our unintentional hiatus is a throwback: Tori tells the tale of the ill-fated Tumblr-inspired convention from 2014. Shady finances, guests canceling last-minute, and sad ball pits, oh my. Was Dash Con a true Dash CON, or just the result of incompetency? Porque no los dos?
Other topics discussed include: The Don’t Worry Darling film drama that had the internet in its grip this week, and Sh*t Camp as the streamer version of The Avengers.
We break down the two unauthorized Broadway production scandals of the moment: A Texan church livestreaming a homophobic version of Hamilton (what’s the opposite of “yassified”?) and Netflix’s lawsuit against the unofficial Bridgerton TikTok musical. To help weigh in, we bring on our friend-slash-internet-lawyer Jon. Disclaimer: This is not legal advice, Barlow & Bear! Get your own attorney!
Other topics of discussion include: Tori and Hannah’s platonic meet cute, organ donors, Cult of the Lamb, and being raised by YouTube.
This week’s super-sized episode is dedicated to Hannah and Tori’s personal stories of internet drama. Tori shares a story from her teenage years of early internet forums, roleplaying as sexy gargoyles, and the ultimate catfishing betrayal. After that, Hannah discusses her former reign as a Glee fandom spoiler queen – and how she may have inadvertently gotten someone blacklisted from the Hollywood entertainment industry. The plot twists never end!
Other topics of discussion include: why little girls are weirdos, life before you could never log off, and Alex Jones finally facing some consequences for being the worst person alive.
On this week’s episode, we tell you everything you didn’t want to know about the Ana Mardoll and Lockheed Martin drama. This story has everything: Grifters! War crimes! Terrible people on all sides!
To wash that taste out of your mouth, we also swap some entertaining Reddit stories.
Other topics include: Standard issue cats, Adventure Time, and whether or not Tyra Banks would be good at Dungeons and Dragons.
Check out the amazing Mars Bars on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4iVFE1YMZZs
In this week's episode, we delve into stories of lost media. Tori discusses the lost Doctor Who episodes and how the diehard online fan community helped recover them. Is Doctor Who more culturally valuable than the Queen's coronation? Maybe! Meanwhile, Hannah talks about the "holy grail" of lost media, the Christine Chubbuck tape - including a recent development in uncovering it.
Other topics discussed: What the hell is pink sauce? Also: CAT GAME!!
Welcome to our (sort of) first episode of Terminally Online! In this episode, Hannah and Tori discuss the TikTok phenomenon known as "reality shifting." So many questions! Why is it so popular? How come everyone wants to bone Draco Malfoy? Also, what happens if you commit homicide in an alternate reality? Asking for a friend!
Other topics discussed include: Hasan Piker's thighs, the drama with Beanie Feldstein and Lea Michele, and our internet origin stories.