LYFE Fatherhood: Recent Episodes
Dave Hoppe
LYFE stands for: Lead Your Family with Excellence. This short-form podcast for fathers is about how to deal with challenges raising your kids. A family is a team, and all teams have some things in common: shared values, goals, and a leader. Each episode will tackle one challenging situation and detail simple things you can do to increase your excellence as a father who leads intentionally.
Have you ever heard, Do As I Say, Not As I Do? How did you feel when you heard it? I've heard it a few times, and I've never, ever liked it.
But why do fathers say it? Well...because we're not perfect. When you fail at being perfect, you do things that you don't want others to do; you know the right thing, but couldn't quite get there. This is totally normal, but you absolutely cannot say...the thing.This episode is all about leading by example while being imperfect. Strap in, it's a good one :)
Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast - Defining Your Values
with music by Alex Grohl
Support the showIf you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Happy Father's Day! I hope you spent the day being celebrated and doing the things you wanted to do. I did.
with music by Alex Grohl
Support the showIf you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Attitude. It's what drives our lives. Attitude can be tough to define, and tougher to tame. I like to take a different approach and categorize how we engage with our world instead of talking about some internal "thing" like attitude.
Positive Engagement is a way of life. It changes how we view the world, our actions, and our relationships. It's an important part of who we are and how we behave.
Join me this week as I discuss the ins and outs of Positive Engagement.
with music by Alex Grohl
Support the showIf you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
I bet you've heard about the importance of communication. I bet you've even tried to improve your communication. Have you ever considered how communicating with your family might be a little bit different?
This week, we discuss why dads are integral in family communication. Not only do we discuss why, but also how, and when. I even drop a few great communication books at the end!
with music by Alex Grohl
Support the showIf you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Maturity. It's something that we talk a lot about these days, but really don't know much about. This week, we take a deep dive into the six stages of maturity as explained in the book Rare Leadership by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, available here: https://a.co/d/7rYuhHI
Maturity builds on itself. It's not something that is a big slurry of experiences and successes that then combine to make someone mature. Each stage of maturity has specific milestones that must be achieved in order to move to the next. As we discuss how Warner and Wilder define these milestones and stages, your humble host, Dave Hoppe, will add some LYFE flavor. We are fathers who focus on becoming great leaders, so we have to salt everything with leadership!
This week we don't have any "do this" statements. It's all enrichment. You'll learn about WHAT these things are. The real success comes when we apply what we've learned in our own way, which means LYFE isn't telling you what to do.
Thanks for checking in, we're glad you're here.
with music by Alex Grohl
Support the showIf you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Thanks for checking us out! We're excited to continue providing incredible content for all of you. Would you consider supporting us? We've got two ways to make it happen: we have Buy Me A Coffee, which allows you to support us simply as patrons. If you'd rather be a part of our private community, we also have paid-only content for a simple subscription of $5/month. See below for more details.
This week, we're talking about a pretty incredible book. It's called Rare Leadership, by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder. These fine gentlemen have dozens of years experience in growing and developing people, and know the science behind the why and the how of our thoughts, personalities, and emotions. This book provides simple explanations, excellent stories, and tips, tricks, and techniques for becoming a better leader, and a better person.
You can find the book here: https://a.co/d/7rYuhHI
This week we'll take a look at the Introduction and Chapter 1. I'll introduce some concepts from the book and weave in my thoughts and experiences.
with music by Alex Grohl
If you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Subscriber-only episode
Hello and Welcome! We call this show "Daddy Date" and we couldn't be more proud to provide it to you as premium content. Now, this one is really short, but we're just getting warmed up.
Thank you SO much for becoming a paid member. It's incredible to think that we've provided enough value that you're here. Let us know if there's anything you'd like to see done differently or even if you just love something.
If you found value in this content, consider supporting us by becoming a member of the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Members have access to the following GREAT benefits:
- You'll have access to a new bi-weekly show called Daddy Date, which is a chance for you to get to know me (and my family) a little better while also giving me the opportunity to model what healthy conversation looks like between a Dad and his kids. You'll learn something, but we also want it to be fun.
- You'll have access to Live Q&A's. My wife and I will take your questions and give you some food for thought.
- You'll get our Monthly newsletter with helpful resources, updates, and fun games and activities for the family
- Special access to other new content as Anti Reactive Parenting grows - we want to have special guest sessions, special videocasts, and other special resources for our patrons.
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
Oh my! We've reached the third and final installment of Attachment Theory.
This week, we're tackling tools and techniques to discover, understand, and use your and others' attachment styles to better meet people's needs, when appropriate, of course.
We discuss the five elements that are required before "mixing in" to help people with unmet emotional needs.
with music by Alex Grohl
If you found value in this content, consider supporting us by subscribing to the show by clicking this link. Monthly support allows us to reach more people and spread the word about Anti-Reactive Parenting! Paid subscribers also have access to LYFE's Daddy Date and will receive our monthly newsletter!
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
We continue our headlong march into Attachment Theory! This week, we're going through the definition and functional manifestation of each of the attachment styles.
We'll take a look at some situations and explain some of the facts and figures behind the theory (and the other theories that sprung from it!)
with music by Alex Grohl
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
What makes us who we are? What gives us our personality? How can we tell who are kids are going to be? These are all important questions that we as fathers should want to answer. The debate over Nature v. Nurture is more profound than it's ever been...but still just as divided. The answer to Nature v. Nurture is complex (shocking, I know...) and we're going to dive into a single element today: Attachment Theory.
Link to Positive Psychology: https://positivepsychology.com/attachment-theory/
Link to Crucial Conversations: https://cruciallearning.com/crucial-conversations-book/
Link to 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: https://store.maxwellleadership.com/The-21-Irrefutable-Laws-of-Leadership-10th-Anniversary-Edition-Signed_p_1677.html
Anti Reactive Parenting receives no benefit from any of the above links. They are provided for reference. Use of these resources does not imply that the authors of the referenced content endorse or support Anti Reactive Parenting in any way
with music by Alex Grohl
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
2023...after the last few years, can we expect a better year than the last few? I sure hope so.
In this VERY short episode, I tackle the vision for LYFE in 2023. Wanna know? Tune in to find out!
with music by Alex Grohl
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
--with music by Alex Grohl
Do you know how to build trust? Not just with your children, but with anyone? There's a lot to unpack there, but one of the biggest components is Keeping Your Word. When we make promises, we're creating an opportunity to earn someone else's trust. When we break that promise, that trust erodes. If we consistently break promises, that trust vanishes altogether.
Do you know how to evaluate your promises? Do you know whether or not you're truly building trust? Join us for our concluding episode on discipline to find out!
with music by Alex Grohl
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
--with music by Alex Grohl
It's the end of the year, so a lot of families will be taking advantage of the off-time to take some vacay. I felt it prudent to take a break from the intellectual growth we've been doing on Discipline and tell you how my family measures success for vacation.
While this might be less hard-hitting than the brain science stuff or the dissertation on discipline, it is no less important to your fatherhood journey.
Vacations are supposed to be time away that relaxes and refreshes you. In this episode we'll share some laughs, and we'll also share 5 (of my wife's) tips for executing an excellent vacation.
with music by Alex Grohl
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
--with music by Alex Grohl
Today we continue our series on Discipline. To recap what we've already learned: the first and most important discipline for a father-leader to have is Personal Consistency. Without the ability to be consistent, especially under pressure, you'll have significant challenges teaching your children anything, let along teaching them discipline. Next is Projecting Discipline, which is also called "enforcing the rules." If you are exceptionally consistent in creating rules and living by your values but don't have a plan for when the rules are broken, your leadership will fail. If you can put the guardrails in place but fail to get the vehicle back on the road when it jumps them, you're in for a wild ride with you kids. So in this episode, we'll tackle the next tenet of discipline as we continue to build toward an effective, loving father-leader: assertiveness.
Here's the link to Maslow's Hierarchy.
with music by Alex Grohl
Hurricane Ian is one of the most prolific storms ever recorded in Florida history. It's impact on Ft. Myers and the surrounding communities is absolutely heart-wrenching. We (the Anti Reactive Parenting staff) are grateful for our good fortune, and we fully understand that we could have lost everything. In this special LYFE Episode, Dave talks about how they leaned on their values, and what that meant for their children.
The people of Southwest Florida who've been forever changed by Hurricane Ian need our help (all of us!). The Anti Reactive Parenting crew have done some research, and we would like to recommend the Florida Disaster Fund to each of you. The FDF has done a great deal to ensure that 100% of donations reach the impacted communities (actually 100% ...not even credit card fees are taken out!). The website is:
https://www.volunteerflorida.org/donatefdf/
with music by Alex Grohl
There are many tenets to Discipline. This week, we'll talk about Projecting Discipline, also known as...enforcing the rules!
Enforcing the rules starts with making the rules, but even before that, you have to have a set of consistent values.
Right along with making and enforcing the rules: punishment for breaking the rules. We discuss this in light detail this week.
with music by Alex Grohl
Discipline...it seems like an obvious thing right? Just force yourself to do things that you don't want to do and BAM! you've got excellent discipline. Um...not exactly.
Discipline is a complex and highly misunderstood thing. It's not the actions you take--it's the values that drive your actions. Discipline is derived from principles, which are built upon your values. The actions you take are, quite simply, asserting your values.
Over the next 6 weeks, we'll discuss Discipline as a holistic concept, not a trite group of "toughen up" phrases. We'll talk brain science, sociology, and etymology. We'll dig deep into what it means as a father to: have discipline, expect discipline, and teach discipline, respectively.
This week, we'll be discussing how to HAVE discipline, and it's all build upon Personal Consistency.
with music by Alex Grohl
Emotions...you probably remember how hard it was for your toddler to control their emotions...if you still have a toddler, trust us, it gets better. Even though it gets better, there will always be times when we as fathers have to reign in some strong emotions to help our children grow and mature.
In this episode, we talk about strong emotions and how we as fathers should and should not act...or react...to our kids.
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
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with music by Alex Grohl
It can be frustrating when your kids aren't moving as fast as you'd like them to. Every once in a while, this might happen. If it happens way more often, then you may have one or more low energy kids. That may seem like a detrimental or even offensive label, but it's not. When you view your family as a team by understanding their strengths, you gain a better understanding of how each of you fills in the gaps and creates an effective and happy family. Low Energy kids are a piece of the puzzle; they're a member of the team with unique and valuable skills.
This episode, we'll talk about what I've learned regarding "Low E" people, and develop some strategies to improve how we as fathers interact with them.
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
Depending upon when you got married and/or had kids, you might have had quite a few years out on your own to settle into a pattern of speech, a way of thinking, and a general pattern of behavior that probably isn't the best for kids to emulate.
It can be really difficult to understand what's appropriate and what's not when you've spent a long time on your own. The dark black areas, well, they're obvious, and the bright white ones are too, but what about those shades of gray in the middle?
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
If you're listening to this podcast, that means you already know that you're not infallible. You know that as a father, it's your duty to keep getting better and better. There's no better example of a time when this is necessary than when your kids get the better of you.
Sometimes they're just a little sharper than you, and that's ok. It's important to understand why, how, and what to do about it, so that's what we tackle this time around.
CliftonStrengths: https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/home.aspx
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
Life is tough. Raising kids in an Anti Reactive environment means addressing the tough stuff early and often. And in true Anti Reactive fashion, that means being intentional! In today’s crossover episode with the Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast we’ll go into what it means to intentionally address hard topics, whether your kids hear about it on the news, from another adult, or from other kids whose family or social situations bring them into more contact with these subjects.
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
What is patience? How can we be more patient? What kind of strategies to we have to make ourselves more patient?
We'll tackle these questions today, and we'll discuss why it's important for fathers to exercise patience and keep improving their patience as time goes on.
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Website: antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
In this Episode, we're talking about what you should expect from this podcast...again. We're diving into the structure we use for the podcast, and why the bones of this sucker matter.
You'll need two...well...three things: 2 ears and the link to the Tuckman Ladder, found here
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Website: antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
Stories are an important part of being human. We learn from them, we enjoy them, and sometimes, they bore us to death. Telling good stories isn't as easy for some as it is for others, so I've put a few tips into this episode to help, but more than that, we discuss how to use stories to improve our families. Often, there's a great tale from our past that can help our kids learn, entertain them, and keep your family growing all at the same time!
If you enjoy this podcast and would like to support Anti Reactive Parenting and gain access to exclusive content, you can support us at: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
Email: LYFE@antireactive.com
Website: antireactive.com
Find us on Instagram: Anti Reactive Parenting Pod
Find us on Facebook: Anti Reactive Parenting Podcast
with music by Alex Grohl
In this Episode, we'll dive into how to apologize to your kids...and yes, there's a lot more than just saying, "uh, sorry, kid."
We'll explain 5 steps toward taking a negative event and turning it into a positive event:
1. Center Yourself
2. Find a Quiet Place
3. Get Face-to-Face
4. Be Specific
5. Ask If They Forgive You
These 5 things are important not just because I've seen them work, but because the brain science backs them up. Tune in to learn more!
Support us on Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
with music by Alex Grohl
Why would I spend hours a week to put together a ten minute segment for dads? Why would a dad want to spend 10 minutes listening to what I have to say? What's the goal of this podcast? All the answers are in this episode.
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Now that you've gotten a taste of the format and content, I felt it was important to put out an episode that outlines the vision and mission of the podcast.
Support us on Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
with music by Alex Grohl
People Lie. It's a solid fact. Just because it's a fact of life doesn't mean we should hold it in high regard. Lies are wrong, and as fathers, its our job to make sure our children understand that lies are mistakes and must be made right. It's important to ensure they understand from an early age that making mistakes is part of life, and just because they failed doesn't mean they're a failure.
In this episode, we look at the difference between guilt and shame and outline some values-based strategies to handle these situations.
Support us on Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
with music by Alex Grohl
Being Authentic means telling authentic stories. It's important and responsible for me to acknowledge a few things and make some key facts known. Facts are facts, but perception is reality, so please take a few minutes to listen to this special note.
In this episode, we introduce a topic that's not high on a typical dad's priority list...active listening.
Support us on Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/antireactive
with music by Alex Grohl
Welcome to the LYFE Fatherhood Podcast! LYFE is an acronym for Lead Your Family with Excellence. This is a short-form podcast for fathers about how to deal with challenges raising your kids.