Cross Vegas: Recent Episodes
Cross Vegas, LLC
Cross Vegas is a satirical improv and sketch comedy show that follows the story of two failed televangelists on their journey to build a new life as would-be social media influencers based in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rudy and TJ tell of the trials and travails of building a contemporary social media-first meta-church, give their fresh takes on the news of the day, and guide their follower(s) on the journey toward becoming faithful televanfluencers themselves.
With a newsfeed filled to overflowing, Rudy and TJ dive right in to the endtimes-sensitive current events in How Many Four Horsemen, and the endtimes-insensitive current events in Turnt or Burnt. Our heroes of the faith opine and malign their way through topics such as the eclipse, Jesse Duplantis, partisan earthquakes, generative AI depictions of Jesus, the Trump Bible, the sword-swallower at a Christian men's conference, Beyonce's country album, Joe Rogan's Ezekiel-was-on-drugs claim, John Eastman and Rudy Giuliani's disbarment, a record-breaking covid shot receiver, and the impending doom of Tik Tok.
© 2024 Cross Vegas
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© 2024 Cross Vegas
Following in the tradition of all great megachurches, Cross Vegas is the site for an evangelistic Super Bowl party like none other. In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and RJ explore the spiritual dimensions of Kanye West's new grill, a pastor's crypto scam on his own congregation, the Oscar nominees for best picture, and modern seafaring pirates.
© 2024 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ fight the culture war on its hottest front: Halloween. What will it take to win this holiday back for Christ? A robust set of biblical scares, they figure. In Holy Ghosted, listeners' unanswered prayers about Taylor Swift and sports gambling abound - and resound with our hosts' own unrequited concerns. In Turnt or Burnt, topics getting the televanfluencer treatment this month include: Stars on Mars, FTX, Grok.ai, and the Las Vegas Sphere.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Has anyone ever told you your DVDs are worthless? They're not, and neither are you!
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Taking advantage of new generative AI technologies and the popularity of video games, Rudy and TJ design a new virtual reality Jesus simulator to reach the masses with the message. In How Many Four Horsemen, our heroes estimate the lateness of the apocalyptic hour as evidenced by the popularity of Christian drag performers. In Turnt or Burnt, they provide hot takes on the upcoming Mark Zuckerberg / Elon Musk cage fight, the Women's World Cup, Tiger Woods' new business venture, and the realignment of college football conferences.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Start our new virtual reality workout routine, inspired by Jesus' toughest physical challenge.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ welcome their first guest, noted alien aficionado Dusty [Last Name Redacted], to a special episode-length Turnt or Burnt roundtable, outside in the cicada-infested Las Vegas summer air. Topics include the Canadian wildfires, the Colosseum vandal, Instagram Threads, and the odd behavior of killer whales.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Is your upper respiratory distress leading to lower circulatory distress? Then you need Long CovED - the only erectile disfunction treatment made from original recipe American-made Delta variant Covid virus husks.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
TJ admits a mistake: Catholics still exist, and they have great ideas for ruling America. What parts of Catholic Integralism should be implemented in Las Vegas? In How Many Four Horsemen, Rudy and TJ tackle the Cocaine Bear, ChatGPT, and the Chinese Spy balloon (all from a safe distance). In Turnt or Burnt, our spiritual guides introduce a new hero of the movement, George Santos. M&Ms candy cancellation and yet another professional sports team moving to Las Vegas round out the segment.
© 2023 Cross Vegas
Financial circumstances being what they are, a baseball-crazed Rudy and TJ seek fortune and glory the ol' fashioned way: Plundering the Middle East for sportswashing bucks. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys' old pal Kanye West is in the news, Elon Musk has bought Twitter, and a new generation of the Tolkien entertainment empire is born with the release of Rings of Power. In How Many Four Horsemen, Rudy and TJ struggle with the rebranding of Monkeypox, and with a true rival both to Las Vegas and the to heavenly city itself: Monaco.
© 2022 Cross Vegas
Ad for the new product Elf on the Selfie, a social media-era update to the Elf on the Shelf.
© 2022 Cross Vegas
Our holy scrollin' heroes form a healthcare cost-sharing ministry to meet the demand for libertarian lifestyle-supportive coverage for performance enhancement of all varieties. In How Many Four Horsemen, flooding of biblical proportions has occurred in Las Vegas and at the Creation Museum. Which, if either, is a sign that the end is near? In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ opine on Sean Fuchts' MAGA hymns and inappropriate last name, Michael Flynn's ideas on the (parental) relationship between the Bible and Constitution, Bishop Lamar Whitehead's on-air church livestream jewelry theft, and the busing of migrants to Martha's Vinyard and Washington, DC.
© 2022 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ dip their toe into the mainstream of fringe Christianty by starting a new segment dealing with the End Times. In How Many Four Horsemen, they ask the real questions about the return of Christ: Is the blockchain like the Lamb's Book of Life? Is the Rapture-Ready Index a useful tool for knowing what to wear that day? The guys also report on their work as City Councilors, including the possibility of a Hyperloop tunnel, making Cross Vegas a Pokémon Go gym, and better supporting the work of Elvis impersonators. In Turnt or Burnt, our heroes give their unique brand of commentary on Monkeypox, politically-correct professional sport team name changes, the Jesus' Feet eau de parfum, the He Gets Us ad campaign, and the possibility of a White History Month.
© 2022 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ celebrate their surprise city council election victory, and recount their not-at-all fraudulent methods for registering unlikely voters. In Holy Ghosted, our hosts describe new fields of ministry opportunity in the streaming video game influencer universe. In Turnt or Burnt, Rudy and TJ do their own research on "flamers," Squid Game, Critical Race Theory, and deregulation of pharmaceuticals in other countries. As a bonus to listeners, the prayer-bots are given a new task: using artificial intelligence to create hymns of the future, one of which they debut for audiences at the end of this episode.
© 2022 Cross Vegas
From a temporary off-site location, Rudy and TJ describe the political platform they will be using in the upcoming municipal election in Las Vegas, as they decide that raw power is the only way Cross Vegas will ever accomplish its ministry goals. In Holy Ghosted, the guys give testimony to the power of the automated prayer bots, as well as take listener questions about unanswered prayers for John Gruden, Gene Simmons, and progress through the multiple tiers of Olympic competition. In Turnt or Burnt, our hosts address Juneteenth, a modern-day Jonah and the whale, online sports betting, and the upcoming release of the Barbie & Ken movie.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
Cross Vegas hosts a religious freedom conference that attracts different sorts of folks than the guys anticipated, with horizon-expanding results. In Holy Ghosted, Rudy and TJ address listeners' unaswered prayers about UFOs. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys discuss satanic shoes, puppet- and cartoon-related cancel culture, and vaccine passports.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
Like Elijah challenging the prophets of Ba'al, Rudy and TJ challenge the magicians of Las Vegas to a showdown of spiritual power. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, the guys push back against proposed changes to Daylight Savings Time. In Holy Ghosted, listeners get answers to their unanswered prayers about border walls and the end of the world.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
The Cross Vegas ministry gets into crypto, for all the right reasons. Automated prayer bots also come on line, powered by purchases of said cryptocurrency. Rudy and TJ get catphished by the same spambot, but still hire "her" as a publicist. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, the guys give an update on their progress with vaccines. In Trunt or Burnt, our hosts treat the audience to profound insights on mistakes the Pope is making on Instagram, the deeper meaning of the golden idol of Donald Trump at the CPAC event, and Dunkin Donuts' #Cheersin marketing.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ describe what Cross Vegas is now (tents in an abandoned lot) and what it will be (the best thing ever). They also discover that they're not the only game in town. Rival ministries battle for the same spiritual turf in Las Vegas. In Turnt or Burnt, our televanfluencer heroes give their hot takes on Britney Spears, vaccines, and the phrase "Going HAM." In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, Rudy and TJ give a biblical teaching on how to gamble in the Spirit.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ share how they met, how they saved each others' lives after almost killing each other, and the ministries they left in order to start Cross Vegas. In Turnt or Burnt, the guys tackle the Las Vegas Raiders, the use of the suffix "AF," and Elvis impersonator-officiated weddings. In Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time, Rudy and TJ discuss their (lack of or unverified, respectively) involvement in the January 6th Capitol riot.
© 2021 Cross Vegas
Rudy and TJ start their adventure as televanfluencers with a stinging takedown of Las Vegas city government regulations against biblically-correct, but anatomically-exaggerated bronze animal statues. Segments include Holy Ghosted (answering your unanswered prayers), and Overcoming Your Weakness One Dayness at a Time (attempting to vote in the 2020 election).
© 2020 Cross Vegas