Wired for Connection: Recent Episodes
Donna Blethen & Elden Vala
The Wired for Connection Podcast exists as an invitation to connect.
Connection informs our every thought, feeling and action.
Connection is the base of belonging.
Belonging is survival.
This is a space where we are learning to breathe ourselves through & beyond fear based programming & forgive into love. Together we are reflecting connection & teaching ourselves how to safely relax into belonging.
Welcome!
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
In Ep #2 of Couples Conversations Donna, Ayla & Elden continue their conversations on the topic of the menstrual cycle & how tracking Ayla's cycle as a couple has supported She & Elden's relationship.
In Ep #1 the conversation centered on the stages of the cycle sprinkled with anecdotal vignettes. In this episode the 3 circle deeper into what grounding with Ayla's cycle looks like in Partnership & how doing so is impacting their relationship.
For more information about cycle tracking & its application within relationship please contact Ayla.
In this episode of Season 1 of Couples Conversations on the Wired for Connection Podcast Donna, Elden & Ayla discuss the role cycle tracking is playing in Ayla & Elden's relationship.
Ayla shares an overview of the two primary phases of the Female menstrual cycle.
Elden & Ayla share their experiences of the energetics of these phases within their relationship.
Donna holds space, asks questions & shares Her experience of the conversation.
In the next Couple Conversation the three will go into more detail about the cycle & how Ayla & Elden are working with it.
For resources on the Menstrual Cycle we encourage checking out The Womb Room @ https://thewombroom.co/
In this episode Donna & Elden share about their work/experience with the states of Safety & Lack-of-Safety. In their conversation they introduce the The Safety Wheel™a tool designed to support the exploration of Safety & Lack-of-Safety.
To learn more about The Safety Wheel™ & download a free-copy of The Safety Wheel™ Basicshead over to www.wiredforconnection.life/safety-wheel
in this episode We (Donna Blethen & Elden Vala) explore the topics of integrity, communication, wrong thinking & the personal responsibility holding & work necessary to maintain relational integrity. we also touch on our experiences of the systems capitalizing on the fear produced by the social technologies designed to separate us as Humans from our inherent connection to wholeness.
links to resources mentioned:
Joey Korn
Richie Reseda & Mannie Thomas III: Breaking the Cycle | The Man Enough Podcast
Rev Brig Feltus & The ReMember Institute
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, the area most commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode We (Donna Blethen & Elden Vala) explore the topic of fear & how our fear acts as doorways for us to accept lies as truth & fall into the trap of the Con. Donna shares a personal experience of being conned as well as what supported Her in recovering & healing from the experience.
links to resources mentioned
Don Miguel Ruiz
ep #9: Integrity with Brig Feltus
The ReMember Institute
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, the area most commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
In this episode we are joined by Metaphysical Minister Reverend Brig Feltus. Brig is the founder of the ReMember Institute a school whose motto is, "May we reMember what we once knew, before we forgot who we were." In this episode Brig shares a story of familial tragedy involving police brutality & how it propelled Her onto a path outside of Her prior plans. She offers us practical tools that support Her & those She teaches with upholding Integrity throughout life & a glimpse into forgotten histories that are impacting us all right now.
For anyone interested in working with Brig we HIGHLY recommend registering for Heal Thyself (the last day to register is June 18th 2022).
links
Remember Institute
Heal Thyself
The Kybalion
The Iceman Inheritance
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, the area most commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
"Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh ~
the through-line of today's conversation is that of listening. specifically our focus is on the impacts of wounding on our ability to listen, a topic we bring to life through personal anecdotes. we share tools & strategies that we've found effective both personally & professionally.
we extend the invitation to build/deepen your listening practice by incorporating a framework developed by Elden. you can access a free pdf guide titled "something about listening via the link below.
download your pdf guide to deeper listening here!
links:
Chief Arvol's call to action
Kai Cheng Tom
Nkem Ndefo
bell hooks
adriene maree brown
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, the area most commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode we are joined by Chief Arvol Looking Horse, 19th generation Keeper of the Sacred White Buffalo Calf Pipe of the Lakota, Dakota, Nakota sioux nation.
"as the 19th generation Keeper of the Sacred Pipe he is to us what the Pope is to the Catholic people. he is to us what the Dalai Lama is to the Tibetan people, what Mohammed is to the Muslim people, what his entire life is committed to is caring for the pipe the intent of the pipe & as the spiritual keeper of those Sacred Rites & Ceremonies that were brought to us by the White Buffalo Calf Woman." as spoken in One Prayer by Katherine Whitecloud former Chief, Sioux Valley Dakota Nation.
Chief Arvol invites us All to come together & "Pray with us on June 21st in a humble way."
you can learn more about World Peace & Prayer Day & the work of Chief Arvol & Paula at their website: https://worldpeaceandprayer.com/
please take the time to watch the One Prayer Video on YouTube linked here.
in this episode Donna & Elden are once again joined by the beautiful & talented Ayla Rose who supports us in bringing to life more fully the Philippine concept of Kapwa aided in Spirit form by Zeus the dog who transitioned from his 13.5+ year old shell the evening prior. the trio share the live grief of the loss of their beloved companion as well as some of the lessons learned through Him both in living & in dying.
note: this episode is full of living grief. it may be activating for some. we encourage you to seek support as needed. you can reach out to us directly via www.wiredforconnection.life &/or tap into the grief support resources linked below.
https://www.theemotionalinstitute.com/grief-rituals
Ayla Rose @ www.vrsoco.com
JL Umipig
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode Donna & Elden speak with guest Ayla Rose. their conversation revolves from, through & around the idea of the shared self as brought forward by the Filipino concept of Kapwa.
through lines of this conversation include:
-
Kapwa & the concept of the shared self.
- the interdependent essence connecting us all.
-
individuation
- both individual & interdependent.
- the dominant societal container tends to shape a process of separation through harshness & shame.
-
the impact of hyper-independence.
- lack
- conflict
- loneliness
-
internalized racialization.
- the impact of race on relationship.
- imbalances of responsibility & capacity.
Links to resources & teachers mentioned:
Ayla Rose @ www.vrsoco.com
JL Umipig
Remember Institute & Intersection of Mankind - Rev Brig
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
"as long as men dominate women we cannot have love between us. that love & domination can coexist is one of the most powerful lies patriarchy tells us all. most men & women continue to believe it but in truth love transforms domination."
~ bell hooks~
excerpt from the book "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity & Love"
in this podcast Donna & Elden explore the moment-to-moment experience of learning to relate with love.
through lines of this conversation include:
-
the reality that relating with love requires acknowledging the intrinsic value of those relating & what they bring into the relationship.
- fear/control based connection interfere with love based connection.
- who/what decides our value?
-
the power of narrative within our relational dynamics.
- where did our narratives come from?
- what is their impact on our relationship?
- how can we re-route them to support us in different ways?
-
how do we create awareness of what's loving & what's not?
- moment to moment
- step back.
- ground, breathe, take care of your nervous system.
- acknowledge the feeling(s).
- moment to moment
-
taking 100% responsibility for ones self & ones relational impact.
- we don't have control over past history & responses that emerge from it.
- we can become aware of past history.
- we can become aware of how our behaviors activate prior wounding.
- we can work the patterns together to relate in more connective ways.
-
emotional/mental maturity
- recognizing the state change(s) & moment-to-moment capacity to show up relationally.
- must be trained
- training requires:
- space & time where safety is accessible.
- modeling
- training requires:
Links to resources & teachers mentioned:
Trabian Shorters
Interview with Trabian @ the On Being Podcast
Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz
Dr Joe Dispenza
Remember Institute & Intersection of Mankind - Rev Brig
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode Donna & Elden explore the impacts of patriarchal programming on our capacity to trust the fullness of the human experience & be with the truth of our interconnectedness. they share anecdotes of experience(s) of lack-based-beliefs & the "alert's" of shame inherent to them as well as providing a breakdown of the spherical emergence of sensations, feelings & thoughts. some of what we touch on includes:
-
the intergenerational impact of patriarchy.
- fears passed down through nervous system of origin & acculturation.
-
shame
- "i am wrong" or "i am bad" for doing, saying &/or experiencing something. vs i made a mistake & i have an opportunity to learn.
- operates as an "alert" for systems of belonging.
-
attribute esteem
- how do we return to a sense of worth in "being?"
- prayer's / mantra's to support this re-wiring process.
-
spherical emergence of internal experience(s).
- sensations
- feelings
- thoughts
- how the 3 showed up during a specific instance in Elden's experience.
Links:
"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity & Love" - bell hooks
"I Don't Want to Talk About It" - Terry Real
Remember Institute & Intersection of Mankind - Rev Brig
Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz
"What Happened to You" - Dr. Perry + Oprah
Pia Melody
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode Donna & Elden discuss the emergence of relational identity as it is shaped by the nuance of life's experience. we share perspectives on how to better move with & within love in all that we are & all that we do.
some of what we touch on includes:
-
on emotions:
- high & low frequency separated from "good" "bad."
- emotions as allies for survival.
- emotions as guiding forces for / toward love.
- the impact of emotional expression being accepted & rejected
-
layers of development
- "parts" as worked with through Internal Family Systems (IFS)
- what was done to them?
- what was modeled for them?
- what did they "get away with?"
- "parts" as worked with through Internal Family Systems (IFS)
-
using mindful awareness + breathing to:
- clear emotional residue.
- create space / capacity for emotional sobriety.
- pause & assess in times of charge.
Links:
Remember Institute & Intersection of Mankind - Rev Brig Feltus
Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz
Dr Joe Dispenza Breathing
HeartMath Institute
eric erikson stages of development
Emotion Wheel
Feeling Wheel
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
intro/outro music by Ayla Rose
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only
in this episode we get some of background on the genesis of Donna's therapeutic practice (1978-present) & what led her down the path she's followed for the last 40+ years. we explore the concept of programmed belief systems & begin unpacking their impact on our behaviors & relationships individually & societally.
some of what we touch on includes:
-
4 internalized fear based beliefs:
- "i am not enough"
- "there is not enough"
- "control will keep me safe"
- "rejection is inevitable
-
the skill of moving toward feeling/being enough
- i care
- i forgive
- i love
-
energetic boundaries
- the wetsuit
- the forcefield
-
the important role of curiosity & compassion when engaging with reactivity in ourselves & our relations.
- a curiosity cultivation process of:
- noticing
- pausing
- working with vagal tone
- inquiring within
- sharing reflection & connecting with curiosity
- a curiosity cultivation process of:
-
the splitting of masculine & feminine values:
- masculine (societally emphasized):
- achievement
- logic
- competition
- independence
- doing
- feminine (societally demoted):
- relationship
- emotion
- cooperation
- interdependence
- being
- masculine (societally emphasized):
Links:
"What Happened to You" - Dr. Perry + Oprah
Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz
Dr Joe Dispenza
the wired for connection podcast is recorded, edited & produced from the un-ceded (stolen) ancestral homelands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people the area commonly referred to as the San Francisco Peninsula.
disclaimer: this content is for entertainment purposes only