On This Walk: Recent Episodes
Luke Iorio
On This Walk is a podcast that explores meaning, purpose, alignment, and listening to the deeper call for our lives. It’s a journey of exploration, of questions, of experiences and hard-won wisdom. It’s a journey of re-membering and re-connecting. And personally, this is my offering, my prayer, my meditation to the universe, for us to once again live in the authentic, true nature and essence of who we are—healed and whole, personally and collectively.
In our pursuit of a healthier and happier society, it is vital that we recognize the often-overlooked struggles faced by men concerning their emotional well-being. Despite living in a world brimming with technology and constant communication, an alarming number of men silently battle feelings of loneliness and disconnection. It's a subject that deserves our attention, empathy, and understanding. This week on "On This Walk," my walking partner is Jed Diamond, founder of Men Alive. We discuss men's health and well-being, particularly the issue of male loneliness and the importance of connection. Jed shares his personal experiences and journey to becoming a hands-on father and promoting healthy fatherhood. We explore the concept of the shadow self, the need for balance between outer success and inner fulfillment, and the historical context of male-female relationships. We also discuss personal responsibility, the role of men's groups in fostering connection, and Jed's work with Men Alive and the Moonshot for Mankind project.
In This Episode
(03:18) Jed’s journey to becoming a hands-on father
(11:18) The dichotomy between success and connection.
(14:14) The historical perspective on male and female roles
(21:33) The tendency to project our own unresolved pain and wounds onto others
(24:05) The need for a new paradigm to understand disconnection, trauma, and healing
(26:05) The importance of personal change and self-reflection in addressing societal issues
(33:28) Recognizing and addressing male loneliness as a fundamental need for connection
(33:28) Reconnecting to aliveness and purpose: Advice for men seeking fulfillment and overcoming loneliness.
(36:28) Men's historical need for connection and the importance of male companionship and support.
(43:13) The concept of a new paradigm shift and its potential impact on creating positive systems for mankind and humanity.
(47:06) Jed's work with Men Alive and the Moonshot for Mankind project
Notable Quote “Our sons and our daughters are not saying, ‘Dad, I wish you would be more successful and spend more time away and make more money. They want your presence. And so my journey, what I've been teaching and writing about is to help men and the women who love them, the families that are connected, to find the way to be a full, complete whole man, which for me includes being successful in the outer world and making a good living and doing something that we believe in, but also being able to be a hands-on dad and a hands-on husband and a hands-on mate, and a hands-on person that is present to himself and other people.” – Jed (12:07)
Our Guest Jed Diamond is a prominent expert in gender-specific healing and men's health, with 17 books to his name, including bestsellers The Irritable Male Syndrome and Surviving Male Menopause. He holds a Ph.D. in International Health and has practiced psychotherapy for over 50 years. Together with his wife, Carlin, they have five children, 17 grandchildren, and 2 great-grandchildren. For more information, visit http://www.MenAlive.com.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
https://www.onthiswalk.com/alignment
Jed Diamond
https://menalive.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jed-diamond-a1580b/
https://twitter.com/menalivenow
https://www.facebook.com/MenAliveNow/
https://menalive.com/about/my-moonshot-mission/
Mentioned 12 Rules for Good Men- https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Good-Men-Jed-Diamond-ebook/dp/B07Z1FBG74
Are you tired of drifting through life, yearning for something more? Deep within us all, there's an insatiable craving for purpose and meaning that ignites our souls and drives us to make every moment count. But in today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get lost in the chaos, losing sight of what truly matters. This week on "On This Walk," my walking partner is Ryan Matthew. We dive into a deep conversation about personal journeys and finding purpose in life. Ryan shares his experiences of seeking external solutions to his problems, only to realize that the root of his issues was internal. Through self-discovery and facing suppressed emotions, Ryan undergoes significant changes, including divorce and loss of financial wealth. Ryan shares a profound story about a transformative experience he had, which symbolizes personal and collective transformation. We also discuss the fear some men have of embracing their feminine side and the importance of integrating both masculine and feminine energies. We challenge the notion that exploring emotions and self-discovery is solely feminine and advocate for a holistic approach to personal growth. We invite you to reflect on your own journey and how you may be locking yourself away from experiencing the fullness of life. The journey to self-discovery is a personal one, but it's also a journey we all share as human beings.
In This Episode
(03:30) Ryan’s struggle to find purpose and meaning in life
(05:19) His journey of deconstruction and self-discovery
(08:32) Finding greater purpose and resilience through deconstruction and divine guidance
(12:23) The fears and needs that arise when making a major life change.
(13:12) The story of the man in the cage
(20:55) How Ryan showed love and compassion to the broken man in the story
(22:00) The man's transformation from being wretched.
(28:25) The symbolism of the man's loss of his wife, daughter, and mother
(34:11) The man's de-evolution and carrying the weight of pain
(43:21) The transformation that occurred in Ryan’s life when pouring love into the man in the cage
(45:37) The fear of losing joy and love
(48:14) The fear of merging in relationships
(49:11) The individuality and collectivism pendulum swing
(50:24) Fear of losing masculinity in personal growth
(52:51) The transformation journey and the reunification of self
(59:16) The universe's bigger signs and ignoring inner whispers
Notable Quote “I had just lost all of my financial wealth. I had just lost my marriage. My band had just ended all of these big things, and so there was a lot of turmoil in my life at the moment. But as I was pouring love into this man, I was pouring love into myself. The impact that those losses had on my life started to lessen. And it was like I was able to feel the emotion. And I was also able to feel a ton of joy. I realized that so much of what I was running away from in my life was this joy. This joy that was growing inside of me, and I'm still experiencing it today. The more I sit out in nature, the more this joy just continues to bubble up in me.” – Ryan (43:51)
Our Guest Ryan Matthew is a tenacious truth seeker, certified professional coach, lightning protection master installer, and a powerful musician/songwriter. He has spent the second half of his life dedicated to unlocking his deeper purpose here, bringing his healing music to the people and becoming a lover of life and all things alive.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Ryan Matthew
https://www.facebook.com/RyanPolingLLC
https://www.instagram.com/ryan_matthew_official/
https://www.facebook.com/ryan.poling.355/
What does it mean to be a man in a world where divorce rates are soaring? Are we missing a vital piece of the puzzle, a key ingredient that can unlock the secrets to successful relationships? It's time to confront these questions head-on and embark on a journey that steps in between the current, conflicting notions of masculinity. This week on "On This Walk," my walking partner is Elliott Katz. We discuss the challenges men face in relationships and explore the importance of leadership, decision-making, and taking responsibility in relationships. Elliott shares his personal journey of realizing the need for these qualities after his divorce. We also discuss the impact of gender roles, media stereotypes, and the importance of respect in relationships. We emphasize finding a balance between vulnerability and strength, as well as the significance of personal growth and communication.
In This Episode
(02:28) Elliott’s journey of self-discovery
(06:45) Navigating the path towards seeking and finding timeless wisdom for personal growth and leadership development.
(10:30) The shift in gender roles due to industrialization.
(12:23) How negative stereotypes in the media can affect men's behavior and lead to relationship issues.
(13:48) Understanding warning signs for personal introspection and relationship assessment in men's lives.
(21:37) The balance between strength and vulnerability
(24:35) The importance of men taking charge and making decisions in relationships
(27:00) Reflecting on experiences and integrating new ways of showing up.
(30:33) Why do men need to trust their own judgment?
(33:03) Effective communication in relationships
(37:31) The evolution of masculinity and the future of manhood
(39:07) Elliott’s guide for men to follow on their personal growth journey.
Notable Quotes “You see a difficult situation, step forward, take charge, and it makes the woman feel so safe and protected. It makes her love you so much. That's what she wants. She wants a man who takes charge and the decision to be made. You're not imposing your decision. You can say, “Well, I think we should do this here. What do you think?” Instead of asking, “What should we do?” Don't say that. Come forward. Don't come empty-handed. Make a decision. And if she has input, that's great, but don't just leave it to her. Don't think you're being too passive. Don't think, well, I'm showing her I believe in gender equality. To me, the main thing is leadership.” – Elliott (18:32)
Our Guest Elliott Katz is an accomplished author, penning two books, including his remarkable debut titled "Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man." Not stopping there, he has also graced the airwaves, making appearances on over 200 radio shows and television broadcasts. Utilizing his expertise as a coach and guide, Elliott has established himself as a prominent figure for men seeking personal growth and self-discovery.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Elliott Katz
https://www.elliottkatz.com/
elliottrkatz@aol.com
https://twitter.com/elliott_katz?lang=en
Mentioned
How to Get Your Man to Wear the Pants ... So You Don't Have To: Inspiring him to make more decisions, take the lead and STOP LEAVING IT ALL TO YOU!: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Wear-Pants-Dont-Have-ebook/dp/B09SVLHPN6
Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man: https://www.amazon.com/Being-Strong-Man-Woman-Wants/dp/0973695102
In the realm of human existence, one difficult truth continues to show itself: trauma, a seemingly relentless force, can grip our very souls and leave an indelible imprint on our physical form. It weaves its tendrils through our thoughts, actions, decisions and our relationships. This week On This Walk, my walking partner is Jennifer Wallace. We dive deep into the world of trauma and its impact on our bodies and minds. We also explore the concept of post-traumatic growth and the importance of working with the nervous system to release trauma and facilitate healing. Jennifer shares her personal journey of overcoming a kidnapping and a rare form of breast cancer and how healing her nervous system has been crucial in finding safety, joy, and self-expression. This episode helps listeners break free from the chains of trauma and rediscover their unique path to true freedom.
In This Episode
(00:29) The concept of trauma and how it affects the body and mind, regardless of its intensity.
(06:46) Jennifer's journey: Trauma, breast cancer, and healing
(09:58) The impact of trauma on the nervous system
(20:00) Jennifer’s belief that trauma, emotions, and memories are stored in the water in our bodies.
(23:39) Jennifer's journey of finding healing through neuro-somatic approaches
(29:38) How trauma healing allows for the return of joy and aliveness
(31:30) How men tend to dissociate from their feelings and emotional experiences
(39:05) The impact of repressed emotions and anger as a coping mechanism
(40:22) The importance of expressing anger and rage
[43:45] Creating safe spaces for emotional expression and regulation
[48:20] The transformative potential of anger and how it can be used as a tool for communication and self-awareness.
[51:04] Initial steps to regulate the nervous system
[53:45] The transformative power of somatic and nervous system work
[57:05] The burden of complex trauma
Notable Quotes “When people begin these journeys, there can often be these thoughts of like, there's something wrong with me. I'm the bad one. Like that's what complex drama teaches us. Like it's me, I'm the one who needs to change, and that's not true. Whoever's listening like that is not true. You are not broken. You are buried under complex trauma. You are buried under stories and emotions that just do not serve you anymore. And I think a lot of times on this journey, it is about the uncloaking of the soul. It is about the you that is you, to come forward and be fully self-expressed, to feel safe in your body to be whatever it is that you wanna experience, but you're just buried and it doesn't have to stay like that.” - Jennifer [57:09]
Our Guest Jennifer Wallace is an expert in neuro-somatic intelligence coaching for promoting brain-based wellness and is also a knowledgeable psychedelic integration coach with a trauma-informed approach. Through her podcast, Trauma Rewired, she aims to emphasize the idea that by establishing a secure nervous system, it is entirely feasible to achieve healing, and behavioral transformation, and ultimately create the life one desires.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Jennifer Wallace
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-wallace-13b42b186
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/trauma-rewired/id1537602643
Mentioned Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong: And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life: https://www.amazon.com/Unbroken-Trauma-Response-Never-Things/dp/1683648846
In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, we often get caught up in the daily grind and forget to prioritize ourselves. It's so easy to lose sight of what truly brings us joy and fulfillment. But picture this: a life where we're no longer held captive by our own unconscious thoughts and behaviors. A life where we can tap into those hidden parts of ourselves that hold the key to happiness, beauty, and a sense of playfulness. This week On This Walk, I welcome back Tim Corcoran – previously on Episodes 15 & 16 – as we discuss the benefits of parts work and the ecology of self, and how it can help you rediscover your unique path to true freedom. Tim shares his personal experience with parts work and how it has transformed his life, emphasizing the importance of understanding and loving all parts of ourselves, even the destructive ones. The conversation also touches on how to discover your purpose through vulnerability, stillness, and connecting with nature and the importance of judgment as a tool for self-growth.
In This Episode
(06:17) How parts work transformed Tim’s life
(06:28) Three primary benefits of parts work
(10:05) What is parts work and the ecology of self
(12:55) The invention of the practice of voice dialogue
(16:17) The power of identity formation through the use of "I am" statements
(23:23) Understanding and loving destructive parts
(25:07) Reclaiming vulnerability and its importance in self-love
(32:47) How parts work can help individuals rediscover their aliveness
(35:29) How the lack of polarity in relationships can actually hurt them
(40:51) How parts work can be used to improve relationships
(47:05) How the parts of ourselves that we show up with can create our reality
(51:03) 2 keys to discovering purpose
(54:31) The importance of stillness and connecting with nature to access the soul and intuition
(58:47) How judging others can be a tool for self-growth
[01:03:26] Vision quest as a way to encounter the deepest parts of oneself
[01:04:28] The significance of childlike parts in accessing the soul
[01:06:56] How Tim received guidance from a dead Joshua tree
Notable Quotes “All parts serve and all parts deserve love. Even if they are destructive parts, even if they are parts that have caused great damage and great pain, a part cannot exist without a function. They don't just exist randomly and they all serve the self in some way. It might get really twisted and sometimes it does, and the key is not to kill the part, the key is not to throw it away. That just leads to more pain and suffering. The key is to understand it and ultimately to love it. And it's through that embracing that we can really experience transformation.” - Tim (22:36)
Our Guest Tim Corcoran is the founder of Purpose Mountain, where he offers Nature Based Purpose Guidance to support people with a love for wild nature who feel a deep yearning to discover their purpose. Tim also serves as co-Director of Twin Eagles Wilderness School, an organization he co-founded with his wife in Sandpoint, Idaho in 2005 dedicated to facilitating deep nature connection mentoring, cultural restoration, and inner tracking.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Tim Corcoran
https://www.linkedin.com/in/timcorcoran4
https://www.purposemountain.com/
https://www.twineagles.org/
Are you tired of constantly feeling like you're not enough? Do you find yourself yearning for a deeper sense of well-being and connection in your life? If so, then we have great news for you. A transformative practice called effortless mindfulness can help you unlock a world of inner peace and profound connection. This week On This Walk, my walking partner is Loch Kelly, an award-winning author, licensed psychotherapist, and recognized leader in the field of meditation and awakening. He is the founder of the nonprofit Effortless Mindfulness Institute. The institute is dedicated to teaching direct methods to access awake awareness, living from a flow state, nondual mindfulness, and heart mindfulness. We discuss the concept of effortless mindfulness and how it differs from conventional mindfulness. Loch shares his journey toward mindfulness and how his father's passing led him to explore and develop effortless mindfulness. Loch provides a simple five-minute practice to help listeners access this more spacious awareness. The conversation also covers the importance of acknowledging the different parts that makeup who we are and how being aware of these parts can help us make more conscious choices.
In This Episode
(00:53) Introduction to Loch and his approach to mindfulness
(04:15) Loch’s first glimpses that led him toward mindfulness
(10:28) What is effortless mindfulness?
(17:09) The glimpse practices that are part of the effortless mindfulness tradition
(18:14) How effortless mindfulness helps people feel relaxed and calm
(19:57) The deeper sense of well-being that exists within us and how it can be difficult to connect to it
(24:43) Optimal functioning from a non-worried being
(27:54) How effortless mindfulness leads to deeper well-being and a more fulfilling life
(29:51) How parts work helps you be present to all within you that needs to speak
(33:56) The importance of acknowledging and holding all parts of ourselves in our awareness
(36:55) Building awareness and recognizing the capacity to hold challenging experiences
(38:11) What is non-dual feeling
(40:17) Benefits and an example of effortless mindfulness in relationships
(47:02) Waking up: accessing awake consciousness and deconstructing the ego
(54:30) Upgrading our operating system
(56:21) The practice of letting go of the problem solver
Notable Quotes “One of the unique premises of effortless mindfulness is that you're remembering to remember that the peace, love, freedom, clarity, and the optimal sense of self is already here within us and it's just uncovering, discovering, or remembering that it's not like other skills or knowledge where we need to use our mind to read a lot of books or develop a skill called meditation that will lead us to a cleaner mind. It's literally just like opening up to find a dimension that's subtler and more spacious, but more pervasive and more interconnected. And when we find that sense of being, then that's the goal of what we're looking for because there's a sense of wellbeing, bliss, and clarity that's already here within us.” - Loch (11:10)
Our Guest Loch Kelly, M.Div., LCSW, is an award-winning author, psychotherapist, and meditation expert. Founder of Effortless Mindfulness Institute, he collaborates with neuroscientists, teaches nondual pointers, and promotes open-hearted awareness to reduce suffering and support personal development.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Loch Kelly
https://www.linkedin.com/in/loch-kelly/
https://lochkelly.org/
https://www.facebook.com/LochKelly1/
Mentioned
The Way of Effortless Mindfulness https://www.amazon.com/Way-Effortless-Mindfulness-Revolutionary-Awakened-ebook/dp/B07FDR6M2T
Zen in the Art of Archery https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Art-Archery-Eugen-Herrigel/dp/0375705090
Are you feeling stressed out and overwhelmed? Do you find yourself suppressing emotions and putting on a brave face, even when you're struggling? If so, you're not alone. In today's fast-paced world, it can be hard to find the time and space to truly connect with our emotions and process what we're feeling. This week On This Walk, my walking partner is Fish Fischer, co-founder of Somatic Breathwork™️, an emotional wellness modality designed specifically to help people clear out suppressed emotions, trauma, stress, and anxiety. We discuss Fish’s journey from being a caddy in the PGA to discovering the benefits of somatic breathwork in helping him overcome stress and anxiety. We also explore the use of breathwork and somatic practices in helping men move through deeper blocks and feelings of being stuck. Furthermore, we emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence and embracing our emotions to become more grounded and powerful leaders.
In This Episode
(03:02) - The benefits of somatic breathwork
(06:02) - The repression and suppression found in the golf world
(08:54) - Fish’s journey as a former caddy in the PGA and how a sudden end to a relationship led him to his discovery.
(12:14) - The importance of allowing emotional cycles to fully complete and how to support this process.
(15:19) - Conforming to expectations
(17:44) - How to overcome stress and anxiety by releasing pressure and expressing one’s self
(21:10) -The importance of somatic literacy and getting into the body
(27:47) - The benefits of emotional release
(31:43) - The distinction between somatic breathwork and other types and styles
(34:06) - The importance of re-patterning the emotional body after clearing out blocks
(39:01) - How breathwork allows us to tune into what's going on in our body and connect to our inner space.
(43:21) - The importance of turning toward our emotions
(46:07) - How our bodies have a unique relationship with trauma and emotions
(52:03) - The importance of connecting with our bodies
(53:59) - The movement of Somatic Breathwork
Notable Quotes “To feel your life is like a living death. To feel your life is to actually be alive. Once you start to feel emotions, maybe a little bit of sadness, maybe a little bit of tears, maybe a little bit of anger, that is to truly feel alive. It's not to repress it. It's to know that it's there. See that is an actual feeling that's coming up in your actual body and then recognizing that there's a story with that. And really what that is, reading your body is the ability to actually understand somatic literacy. Can you be fluent in your own body sensations, feelings, and emotions, and can you know the story behind those? If you can do that, you can become fluent in your own body and the vessel that you have had your entire life is the vessel that has moved you. – Fish (20:00)
Our Guest Fish Fischer is a visionary co-founder of Somatic Breathwork. His expertise in breath work merges ancient wisdom with modern science, empowering individuals to heal and transform through conscious breathing.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Fish Fischer
https://www.linkedin.com/in/fishfischer/
https://somaticbreathwork.com/
https://www.instagram.com/fish.fisher/
https://www.instagram.com/somaticrelease/
Mentioned
Book: https://www.amazon.de/-/en/MaryCatherine-Ph-D-McDonald/dp/1683648846
Alignment Workbook: https://onthiswalk.com/alignment
Gabriel Writer https://www.instagram.com/golfinfluencer/?hl=en
“It does start with forgiveness.” Reggie Walker learned this many years after sustaining trauma and abuse as a child and struggling with his mental health as an adult. He lives his life by the sentiment that forgiveness is at the center of healing. And beyond forgiving others, we have to forgive ourselves. As the former NFL athlete walks with me today, we discuss how he found alignment after his football career, what it means to put your peace first, and his journey to living a life that’s true to who he is. His story is one of determination, healing, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, and embracing his own individuality, so join us today as we discover how Reggie found his way to happiness and peace.
In This Episode
(6:53) Reggie unpacks how he began to really chase his own happiness
(10:10) Why sitting with himself helped Reggie prioritize his mental health
(22:33) How to leave people-pleasing behavior behind and define what you truly want/need
(25:33) Making the shift from self-centered to centered-self
(33:37) Why celebrating our own uniqueness and the uniqueness of others helps us become better individuals
(38:42) How embracing forgiveness and pain allowed Reggie to heal
(43:24) The role of the “protector” in our psyche
(49:01) Why we need to break down generational trauma for ourselves and our children
(57:19) There is beauty and joy to be found in our weird little worlds
(1:00:59) Reggie shares his passion for loving others
Notable Quotes
“You gotta love yourself enough to let the protector go. Because if you don’t let the protector go, it’s gonna protect you away from happiness and peace and contentment and fulfillment. And it’s been a constant act of letting that go, and forgiving them, forgiving myself for not sticking out, for not saying this, for not doing that… You understand, hurt people do hurt people. And when you start analyzing and understanding people and having conversations with them, there’s a very logical reason why people do things in their own minds. I might not agree, but in their minds that’s what it is. And that’s okay. Because at this moment in time, if I really want that life that I want to have, I have to let it go.” – Reggie (41:20)
“I recognize I live in my own weird little world. I think we all do, right? We all have our own weird little world that we live in – nobody gets to know it! It’s all up in here, it’s in our bodies, it’s in our minds, right? I know that that’s where I am, and the more that I get to play with that, it’s like I have more fun. I don’t take myself as seriously. I enjoy myself more because I’m not trying to like, ‘Wait, how am I going to put myself out there?’ ‘What’s this going to look like?’ I’ve given up those controls and I’ve like owned the fact that I’ve got some weird stuff going on in my head and occasionally I’ve got some weird stuff coming out of my mouth, and that’s okay! It’s more fun. It’s freeing.” – Luke (57:19)
Our Guest Reggie Walker is a former NFL athlete and the founder of the Personal Mastery School – a program that helps individuals find themselves, their purpose, and create a plan for their life. After sustaining significant trauma in his childhood and then working to process those experiences as an adult, he found a way to support others on their journey to health and happiness. He’s also a mental, physical, and sexual abuse survivor advocate, Tedx speaker, consultant, connector, and problem solver. He wants to equip others with the skills to win the battle against their biggest enemy – themselves – so they can move with confidence and tenacity towards their life mission.
Resources & Links On This Walk
On This Walk IG
Reggie Walker
1in6
How do we begin to unpack and update our traditional understanding of masculinity – for ourselves, our friends, our partners, and our children? Today I’m walking with Bob Conlin – an ontological coach, a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, founder of The Alchemy of Men, and the co-founder of the Living In Love Incubator program – and Brad Golphenee – a Senior EVRYMAN Facilitator and Professional Somatic Coach for Men – to dive into a discussion regarding masculinity, forming healthy relationships, connecting with our emotions, and discovering our purpose. Both fathers and great men who are committed to holding space for the feelings and experiences of those around them, Brad and Bob offer intimate details and valuable insight into how they became the men they are today.
In This Episode
(0:40) Two threads we’ll follow in today’s episode
(7:29) Brad reveals how leaving his last business allowed him to break a negative cycle
(11:08) The effect men’s groups had on Bob’s unhealthy mindset
(15:39) Why shifting their understanding of identity was challenging
(23:53) How Bob found peace and new possibilities in the unknown
(28:14) Finding the courage to ask for help
(35:32) The importance of finding community and accountability
(41:00) Addressing the daunting questions: “Who am I?” and “What is my purpose?”
(45:38) Leaning into discomfort as we raise our children
(54:00) The energy of being a father
(1:00:14) Bob and Brad discuss purpose
(1:06:02) Closing thoughts on masculinity
Notable Quotes “To have people to hold me in the highest light and to hold me in new ways is so remarkably important because even those that were close to me, and I see this all the time, my family, even out of love, they would often hold me in old ways. Because that’s what they’re comfortable with, that’s how they know me. So going through very transformative processes and then going back into my old environment, I’m still held in an old way. And so it’s just an important distinction that as we change as men, we need each other to hold ourselves in the highest light possible.” – Brad (42:00)
“When I got to that point, I realized how much help I actually needed. You know, self-sufficient guy, self-proclaimed ‘I don’t need anybody,’ and it really pointed to, wherever I was going, I wasn’t alone. Wherever I wanted to go, I needed an army of people around me to hold me up, lift me up, love me until I could learn to fully love and embrace myself and who I was becoming. And I really think that, that was the hardest lesson I learned was to ask for help… But that was the thing that helped me move through the in-between, the upside down – whatever you want to call it – that time.” – Bob (27:26)
Our Guests With extensive training and experience as an ontological coach, a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation, founder of The Alchemy of Men, and the co-founder of the Living In Love Incubator program, Bob Conlin helps people bring awareness and accountability into action and receive abundance in its many forms. Brad Golphenee is a Senior EVRYMAN Facilitator and Professional Somatic Coach for Men who has been involved with men's groups for 15 years and professionally working with men for 10 years. Brad holds a BSBA from the University of Denver and has continuing education in Shamanic Studies and Somatic Experiencing for Trauma. Relationships and parenting are topics that Brad loves to process with his client base.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Brad Golphenee https://www.bradgolphenee.com/
Bob Conlin https://conlincoaching.com/about/
“Art can serve as our metabolizer.” It’s a sentiment that struck me as soon as I heard it, and it’s no surprise that the individual behind this poignant quote is none other than writer, wedding photographer, and storyteller Genevieve Georget. On today’s walk, Gen joins me to discuss how she became a writer, finding balance as we experience the full range of human emotions, the ways in which stories and narratives can both free and hinder us, how to manage the tendency toward perfectionism, and ultimately to share where she is in what she refers to as possibly her most important piece of work yet.
In This Episode
(3:18) Introduction to our guest, Genevieve Georget
(7:57) How writing and photography influence Gen’s relationship with time
(12:22) Gen recalls a moment that brought perspective
(18:33) How authenticity and intimacy allow us to unburden ourselves
(20:23) What You Don’t See
(27:52) Carrying others’ stories while making space for your own
(32:13) A note about generational trauma and childhood experiences
(39:07) “How do you feel about somebody controlling the narrative of your life?”
(49:20) Intimate and honest confrontation
(56:13) Gen’s current, deeply healing project
(1:01:56) My mindfulness journey and equal empathy
(1:04:30) How storytelling allows for connection
Notable Quotes “When we do have the strength, it allows us to be that anchor for other people. And to say, ‘I’ve got ya. I can hold this space. I can be here and listen to your story as you let it unfold in front of you and as you take down the veil, as you take down the wall.’ And just open up about ‘This is what I’ve been walking with. This is what’s been on my shoulders.’ It’s an unburdening process, and I think it’s interesting because we talk about art as a metabolizer or others have heard me talk about circling and things like that on this show as well, and to me, I think that’s the beauty of a practice like circling where we can verbalize what it is that we are working to process. And when we can do that in a communal way, it opens something up because it allows more and more people to know ‘I’m not alone.’” – Luke (19:18)
“One of the ways that I am learning to dismantle some of those narratives, and that is an aggressive word, but I think it’s necessary sometimes to take a sledgehammer to some of the stuff that we’ve been carrying around for so long. It’s also a method that we’re starting to use with our children a lot. And it’s by asking the question, ‘What story are you telling yourself about that situation?’ So if one of our kids comes home from school and they’ve had something happen with some friends, the first thing we ask them is, ‘What meaning are you putting to that situation? What’s the story you’re now telling yourself?’ to try to help them, ourselves, recognize that we are only one part of that story. – Gen (44:47)
Our Guest Genevieve Georget is a writer and photographer from Ottawa, Canada that believes in cultivating space for vulnerability, truth, authenticity, and storytelling. In her last two books, Solace: A Journal of Human Experience (2019) and Her Own Wild Winds (2016), Gen explored grief, pain, love, and inspiration. Solace was also named Ottawa FACES Magazine’s 2020 Book of the Year. Currently working on a healing-centered project, she is finding joy in her life with her husband, kids, and golden retriever.
Resources & Links On This Walk
https://www.facebook.com/dlukeiorio
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
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Genevieve Georget
https://gengeorget.com/
https://www.instagram.com/gen_georget/?hl=en
https://ca.linkedin.com/in/genevieve-georget
https://gengeorget.com/books
Mentioned: Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament by Michael A. Singer
In the last episode, Tim and I spoke about our personal journeys with purpose, belonging, taking soul wanders, and how this brings us into this incredible space where nature reflects what truly lies within. As we continue with Part 2 of our walk with purpose in today’s conversation, we dive deeper into the ancient ritual of a Vision Quest – sharing what this ritual is and what it can reveal. I’ve been on a personal vision quest with Tim’s guidance and, on this transformative journey of mine, I encountered deep questions with tough to grasp answers. But as I interacted with these questions, so much more than guidance was revealed. Join me as we step into this vision quest with my walking partner, Tim Corcoran.
In This Episode
(04:58) - What is a vision quest?
(13:36) - The two sides of preparing for a vision quest
(17:00) - What does Life want to do with me?
(18:39) - The grounding mantra of ‘trust the ceremony’
(25:53) - Establishing a conversation with the ancient one
(33:38) - The post-vision quest return
(35:14) - Proper preparation and proper integration before and after the quests
(39:00) - My journey towards peace
(42:51) - “To quest is to go experience the fullness of life.”
(47:53) - The most important changes that take place when we go out in and return from quest
Notable Quotes
“I've used different versions of this phrase before at different parts of my life, ‘trust the process’. But really, I wanted to honor the ceremony, the sacred ceremony I was entering. And so that mantra became to trust the ceremony. I'm gonna connect to my soul, I'm gonna connect to my purpose. I'm gonna connect it by all these intentions of what I wanted out of the process. And then ultimately that was able to fade away so that I could turn and say, I'm gonna trust the ceremony. And it was through the journey itself, through the vision quest that I recognized that the mantra that I came up with had nothing to do, or it didn't only have to do with the vision quest. That's pretty much become my mantra, because I now understand for me, this life is the ceremony. We're in the ceremony right now in this grand experiment. This is the ceremony.” - Luke (18:39)
“I want the fullness of life and if there's darkness in me that I have to face, then so be it. I'll face it. And I think that's a mindset that is appropriate especially for a quest. And it's that willingness, it's that vulnerability, it's that courage that's so important. My hope is for our listeners that maybe this inspires you to find that. Because I do believe we all as human beings have that potential inside of us to face these depths. And it's only in facing our darkness that we'll be able to face our light and yeah, it gets pretty dark, and yeah, it gets pretty bright. In the end, I've never worked with anybody who didn't say that it was worth it.” - Tim (43:20)
Our Guest Tim Corcoran is the founder of Purpose Mountain, where he offers Nature Based Purpose Guidance to support people with a love for wild nature who feel a deep yearning to discover their purpose. Tim also serves as co-Director of Twin Eagles Wilderness School, an organization he co-founded with his wife in Sandpoint, Idaho in 2005 dedicated to facilitating deep nature connection mentoring, cultural restoration, and inner tracking.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
What is my purpose? What is the meaning of this life? There are moments when these questions come screaming at me with this tremendous sense of urgency for years. At times, I've had answers to some of these questions, and other times I've struggled greatly when these answers no longer held true. One of the most recent chapters of this walk that I’ve been on is something that I wanted to share with you in this two-part conversation because it was such an extraordinary experience. Join me as we unfold this part of my journey with my walking partner for today, Tim Corcoran.
In This Episode
(04:48) - What the Buddha did not know about hunting
(09:14) - Losing my connection with nature
(15:51) - My path with mindfulness, Buddhism, and other related wisdom traditions
(24:09) - Why conversations about purpose have become so prevalent
(32:05) - Belonging is worth investing in
(40:10) - What is a soul wander?
(47:00) - How my hibernation in a cave led to my first intimate experience with a guardian tree
(53:19) - Tim’s story of Grizzly Butte
(1:07:58) - Within your wanders, pay attention to your noticings
(1:14:20) - Tim’s philosophy on healing
Notable Quotes
“Many people are waking up and saying, okay, how can I help? This is not right. Okay sure, I can ascend, I can experience meditation. It's a great break from the craziness and the suffering of the physical world. I've got kids, I have a wife, I have children in my community I care about. What are future generations going to experience? What can I actually give to this? What am I gonna leave behind? ‘It's all temporary, don't worry about it, I'll meet you on the other side’. No, you know, I care about this earth. This earth has helped me, so I love it so much, and I want to leave the best gift I can to this planet. I think more and more people are waking up to that or asking those questions, why the heck am I really here? Is it just random? Was it just an accident? No, there must be a reason why I have taken birth at this time. There must be something I have to offer. That's what I hear from the people I work with, and the people who reach out to me and conversations like this that need that yearning just grows and grows, and so that is hopeful to me.” - Tim (24:45)
“There's something that we are connecting to through those experiences that is either informing or working with our soul to transform us into the path that we're meant to be on. And it's in those moments of balance that we start to connect to that and see what we've been through in a very, very different light. And it opens up something beautiful in us. I love that perspective of the language of minimum amount of healing. Because we're not meant to stay perpetually in that cycle. We're not meant to be perpetually in any cycle, and that's where we don't wanna get lost in the healing. We don't wanna get lost in dreaming of this life. We want to be able to continue. Let's move forward in that dream. Let's be aware that we're dreaming and let's interact with it in a very different way. But as we continue to grow from that place of being, and being able to bring that forward, and pay that forward, and offer that giveaway to others, and we'll heal along the way as we need to continue to because it's gonna happen.” - Luke (1:17:58)
Our Guest Tim Corcoran is the founder of Purpose Mountain, where he offers Nature Based Purpose Guidance to support people with a love for wild nature who feel a deep yearning to discover their purpose. Tim also serves as co-Director of Twin Eagles Wilderness School, an organization he co-founded with his wife in Sandpoint, Idaho in 2005 dedicated to facilitating deep nature connection mentoring, cultural restoration, and inner tracking.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Some people might view audacity as the willingness to take bold risks, but sometimes, it can also mean being rude or having disrespectful behavior. Isn’t it interesting that this word can be seen as both a positive and negative quality? In today’s conversation, we explore these moments in our journey where we found the need to be audacious in following our own path, without having that fear of being judged by the people around us. What does it mean to have that sense of agency? How do we develop that type of connection to it? Join me as I go on this walk with my partners today, Lisa Hopkins, and a familiar voice from Episode 002, Tambre Leighn.
In This Episode
(00:33) - The two primary definitions of audacity
(05:56) - The need for Lisa to be audacious in her journey
(08:10) - How Lisa responded to her sense of agency
(10:35) - Tambre’s experience with audaciousness
(13:56) - How do we connect to our sense of agency?
(16:53) - The energy of needing to be bigger or push beyond
(21:48) - How my inner voice gives me clarity on the path that I should take
(34:18) - Our strengths are exactly where our weaknesses lie
(44:45) - Weaknesses are gifts
(59:21) - The audacity of being in our own path
Notable Quotes
“If you think about your strengths as just part of your toolkit, not about your way of being, and then your weaknesses, weaknesses are gifts because you don't attach them to anything. Strengths, you know what you can do, you know what you're expected to do. So there's this sort of expectation. I mean, have you ever played something and you sort of preface it with, ‘I'm no good at this’ and you have so much fun because you're not attached to being good at it to anyone thinking.I feel like weaknesses are so ripe, they're like seeds that you don't think will grow. So you just toss them out there. And sometimes they do and sometimes they also help nurture, something grows that you didn't know would grow or maybe it actually helps your strength.” - Lisa (44:37)
“If I'm gonna be curious about something, I just can't jump into doing mode because then I’m just, step, action, outcome, re-evaluate, reassess, which will have a little bit of insight, but it doesn't give me the opportunity to take a breath and say, what else can I do? What else can I bring into this moment as far as a different perspective, a creative idea, a different way of looking at this or perhaps even somebody bringing somebody else into the conversation so that I can expand my awareness, my growth, my skills, my insights? I love the idea of embracing what we might consider weaknesses and asking what can I do differently that might give me not only a different outcome in this situation, but going forward, give me more tools to choose from?” - Tambre (43:26)
Our Guests Lisa Hopkins is an ICF Certified Professional Coach, Energy Leadership Master Practitioner and CORE Performance Dynamics Specialist. She hosts the STOPTIME: Live in the Moment podcast and has a vision to share the power of her coaching work with the entertainment community and beyond by creating safe, mentally & spiritually healthy spaces for all to thrive creatively and become artists of their lives. Certified professional coach Tambre Leighn is the founder of Well Beyond Ordinary, a consulting company that helps healthcare clients use coaching skills to improve communication, patient engagement, and build trust. Tambre’s work integrating coaching into patient support was inspired by her experience as a caregiver for her late husband.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
Have you ever been at that point in your life where everything seems to go well, then all of a sudden, it just doesn’t feel right anymore? This is something that has come up to me as I was looking back at my journey for the last couple of years. I’m blessed to have a beautiful family, career, business, and a whole lot of opportunities that have helped me along the way. But once you realize that some of the great things you have in your life aren’t aligned with your purpose anymore, do we have the willingness to let go of it? Do you take the risk of going on another journey not knowing if everything will work out? These questions led me to connect with my walking partner for today, Corey Blake.
In This Episode
(01:01) - Understanding the journey that I’ve been on for the last couple of years
(03:39) - Approaching purpose as a way of being with my life and the world
(09:43) - Being in a limbo, and why it’s an uncomfortable place for Corey
(13:51) - The disorientation phase of Corey’s journey
(16:51) - Taking our frustration and anger out on the people that are closest to us
(18:57) - Corey’s collisions in life
(23:20) - The ongoing connection to personal development
(26:31) - The transition Corey’s currently walking through
(31:08) - What have I not been willing to admit to myself that I actually need to see?
(38:36) - Learning how to let things fall apart
(41:04) - The empowerment dynamic - the coach, the challenger, and the creator
(46:04) - Why we’re getting trapped in seeing the world
(51:24) - The need to create more space for others to share their story
(1:00:41) - Corey’s water and oak tree imagery
Notable Quotes
“Some of these challenges are so big that they certainly can feel overwhelming and we can't tackle all of them. If we all cared about the thing I care about the most, who would care about all the other things? And they would just fall apart. We have that natural human desire for the thing that matters most to us, to matter to everyone else. The arrogance that I have to look squarely in the face when I’m inclined to rescue that asks me, who am I to think that my solution is appropriate for this person? What if they manifest what’s appropriate for them? What would it look like for me to be a support mechanism for that, so they can become more of themselves as opposed to me thinking they should be more like me?” - Corey (44:12)
“If we have the ability to create more healing and wholing within ourselves, the medicine that that provides to the collective is something that is immeasurable. We’ve got the collective purpose, which is how do we, in any way that we choose to, share that with the world? And then we’ve got this other kind of like, for the sake of humanity healing that we’re doing by working through our journeys in this way. Because that now creates the possibility. Roger Bannister breaks the 4-minute mile after nobody else had ever done it, and then look at the next couple of years and people are breaking it left and right because now it’s a possibility. If we create that healing and wholing within ourselves, even if it’s not published around the world like the 4-minute mile, it creates the energetic possibility now for others. It creates a blueprint, which however we do it, somehow we connect to it.” - Luke (1:07:49)
Our Guest Corey Blake is the founder and CEO of Round Table Companies (RTC). In 2021, Corey launched Round Table Storytelling Academy, where he focuses on his passion for the deeper sense of belonging that arises within a company culture when employee purpose is connected to organizational purpose.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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How do we navigate between ease and easy? My walking partner for today, Michelle Bannister, is a former colleague of mine who reached out to me after hearing a few episodes of On This Walk. She spoke about feeling this energy around the difference between ease and easy and we discussed how both have appeared in our lives. In today’s conversation, Michelle and I dig deeper into that feeling of being comfortable in the chaos, the struggle of keeping things simple, the desire to belong, the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness, and dealing with our inner critic.
In This Episode
(03:37) - The tendency to go to what’s familiar
(07:28) - Michelle’s decision to walk away from her dream job
(11:07) - Being comfortable in the chaos
(12:41) - Paying attention to how things felt
(14:21) - My struggle of keeping things simple
(16:43) - Walking on the edge between ease and easy
(20:54) - The toxic impact of social media
(22:30) - The desire to belong
(27:56) - Self-compassion and forgiveness
(32:02) - Michelle’s acknowledgment of her childhood trauma and the impact it had on her
(38:03) - Dealing with our inner critic
(45:01) - How Michelle’s ‘visual vitamins’ help her attitude and mindset
(50:43) - The practice of attunement and being intentional and present
(57:53) - Trusting the process
Notable Quotes
“I was admitted to a Master’s Program for the fall. This will be my second Master’s and I’m 58 years old. So there’s immediately conflict in my head when I even think about going back for a second Master’s. I can’t even count how many people have gone, ‘You’re what? Why would you wanna do that?’. So the edge for me has been, what do I really want my legacy to be? I have nothing left to prove about myself. And this ties to something you were saying about the difference between head and body. I feel like I've spent my whole life trying to prove something that was going on in my head, stories that I was generating about myself, about what other people had to say about me. And this has nothing to do with that at all. This is a hundred percent heart decision and direction.” - Michelle (15:47)
“I know what it’s like to have to pick myself up off the bathroom floor and to go through different issues in life. And I’ve recognized that actually, not only did I get through them, they got me closer and closer to being true to who I am and living from this central place of who I actually am. And we spend so much time protecting that essential self, that true nature. But it’s the protecting that actually keeps us from getting back to it. And once you go through that, those are the times you’ve been broken up, broken open. But those are the very things that showed me the path to ease and peace. And then I got the confidence through going through that repeated process of building into it to recognize, yeah, I can do life this way. I can do it from the center of who I am and share out from that place. And it's not always gonna be accepted, it's not always gonna be affirmed. And I'm okay with that too.” - Luke (01:00:55)
Our Guest Michelle Bannister - I am a human mom, dog mom, stepmom, mother figure, spouse, sister, and friend. I am a meditator, writer, coach, teacher and student (formally and informally), retreat facilitator, reluctant entrepreneur, former corporate leader, retired opera singer, trauma survivor, gardener, musician, artist, cook, bird watcher and feeder, runner-turned-walker, traveler, and wanderer. I have realized that contrary to conventional wisdom—which says the longer we’re with people, the better we know them—my loved ones are increasingly mysterious to me as time goes by. This becomes apparent as I slow down long enough to witness their inner worlds as they are revealed.
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At times when it seems like I’m getting off track or I’m feeling disconnected to myself, I then realize that this sort of imbalance is caused by the various debris that I’ve been carrying around for a long time. With everything that’s happening around us, how do we get to that point where we can hold space in such a way that it begins to ground us and the others around us? That’s what brings us to today’s conversation on holding the peace. Many of you may know that I do love spending time in Sedona, and it is in that place where I got to connect with my walking partner for this conversation, Samantha Jackson. In this episode, we talk about what it means to take a great pause and what that can mean for us, the beauty and healing of being in nature, and finding the balance between busyness and the still.
In This Episode
(03:31) - Connecting with Samantha after our journey in Sedona
(6:34) - What the great pause has been for Samantha
(9:13) - Losing the divine connection
(14:29) - Carrying debris around for a very long time
(15:37) - Looking back at the pause I went through and feeling the pain of separation
(18:30) - Samantha’s experience of being one with nature in Sri Lanka
(25:49) - Finding a balance between the busyness and the still
(31:37) - What Holding the Peace means to Samantha and how she began writing it
(34:02) - How the media, news, and social media can provoke us
(38:43) - Moving and the clearing energy through circling
(50:24) - Can fear and stress serve as ways of returning us to peace?
(53:04) - Recognizing that the value that I had around freedom had shifted
(55:08) - The relationship between peace and balance
Notable Quotes
“In that moment when I was in Sri Lanka, I felt like nature had my back, and that nature was reminding me that like, ‘Look kid, life gets rough, but I still got you, and you can always come back to me to kind of clear out’. And I was like, oh yeah, it just sort of felt like some arms were being put around me and taking care of me, and telling me to like sort of wake up and don’t forget the beauty and the healing of just being in nature.” - Samantha (22:28)
“Several years ago, quite a few years ago, I had recognized that the value that I had around freedom had shifted, used to be, to do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. And then it was, no, this is actually about inner freedom. It's not about the circumstances. It's not about any of those things. I wanna feel that freedom within to just simply, purely be who I am. And so I chose freedom. Well the universe is a jokester and the universe realizes that, oh, if you want freedom, then I'm gonna bring you everything in the world that shows you how you are not free. And so like all of my beliefs, like everything I was doing to block my own freedom was just like right there, front and center, smack in front of my face. And so I share that because having been through that, I am aware of it, at least, maybe it still takes some time in different experiences, but peace is the same way, so I know that if the center of everything for me is returning, restoring that peace that's within me, and so I now recognize that fear and that stress are like invitations to clear, cos there's something here that is preventing or blocking your peace.” - Luke (53:04)
Our Guest Samantha Jackson is a lifelong intuitive, empath and channel of the Divine Collective and her higher self. She is the host of the Soul Journey podcast where she reads her channeled messages and interviews people from around the world who have a unique “soulprint”. She occasionally puts out beautiful channeled writings and messages which include “Holding The Peace”.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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Slow living has never been more relevant in our post-pandemic world. A lot of us have come to a point where we just want our lives to be centered on what matters the most to us. It may sound very simple, until you realize just how many entanglements and attachments you’ve committed yourself to. This is a conversation that has come up in a lot of my dialogues with clients, family, friends and colleagues. I’ve certainly experienced this as well, but what I have come to realize is that these entanglements (and releasing them) are just part of the process of reconnecting, to get back on track and learning to allow life to flow. Today, I’m joined by someone who leads from his head and his heart, someone who gets excited with constant challenges in life – Eric Godoy, along with a very familiar walking partner – Billy Ward.
In This Episode
(02:33) - The longing to have that feeling of being soul-centered
(10:18) - Recognizing what’s getting in the way of centering our lives around what matters most
(19:45) - Surrender – I’ve meant it in so many ways
(20:49) - Paying attention to your inner dialogue
(27:38) - Acknowledging the need to slow down and taking a step back
(30:17) - Holding more space for self-compassion
(37:46) - Creating space from stories and how it allows Eric to sit in a soul-centered place
(47:23) - A day that Billy will never forget
(54:25) - How rituals and practices help us feel into this soul-centered way of being
(1:00:03) - Being at peace with what’s rising
Notable Quotes
“What gets in the way, it really is ultimately just me. I’m at the stage now where I’m sitting in there and sitting in that, being present in my life. And I’m at the stage where I can see the contrast. I’m starting to note the contrast of when I get in the way, and then what’s happening as a result of it, versus just sitting in that seat and saying, ‘You know what, I’m sitting here permanently’. I realize how much I just get in the way and that’s where my work is unfolding daily to get out of my own way so I can just surrender. – Eric (10:58)
If I hadn’t made this commitment to myself years ago and I hadn’t amped it up a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to show up in the way that I did, first for myself, but then for my two boys. I spoke about social media holding circles. I came home after my boys and I held a circle with Julie and her girls, and my boys with Grover in the middle. And I allowed space and held space for everyone to express where they were in that moment. For me, all this inner work plays out in all of life, and sometimes it requires us to stand in our truth and to stand in love in the midst of things that are really hard to move through. But we, as human beings, have the capacity to move through those things with grace and love and truth, especially when we’re committed to this soulful, soul-centered life. – Billy (53:08)
Our Guests Eric Godoy – “I start each day making a choice to lead from my heart and my head. I am incredibly passionate, energetic and strive to be a peacemaker. I am a people pleaser, friendly, trusting, easygoing, empathetic and compassionate. I am blessed to be able to live these values when being a father, husband, son, sibling and true friend. I am a constant learner, reader, sharer, teacher, athlete, real estate investor, coach, listener, joker, striving chef and adapter. The constant challenges in life get me excited. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but rather be the eye of the storm for myself and those around me.” Billy Ward is a motivational speaker, mental health advocate, life coach and former professional football player. His podcast, The Billy Ward Podcast, aims to help people live with greater awareness so that they can experience more peace, freedom, joy and love.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
You can’t connect the dots moving forward – you can only connect them looking backwards. During my corporate career, that used to be something I excelled at. Identifying patterns, monitoring their development and tracking where things might lead has always been a strength of mine. Yet lately, this has been a struggle. It takes a lot of mental energy and a firm desire for control to try to connect the dots we haven’t reached yet – and leaves little room for wonder, surprise or those little synchronicities of life. In our last few episodes, we’ve spoken a lot about the active process of surrendering inner resistance and going where the flow of life takes us. It’s this fiercely personal endeavor that I’ll be exploring today with the help of recent guest and master facilitator, Aaron Kahlow.
In This Episode
(02:51) How do we pay attention to our journey without expecting certain outcomes?
(09:57) Does time matter in spiritual development?
(14:09) The gift of self-expression and the danger of numbing out
(21:57) Finding balance between living in our truth while acknowledging daily obstacles
(25:52) How compartmentalization causes friction
(30:21) Why we fear honesty
(34:24) Expectations, blueprints and leaving room for mystery in life – responsibly
(42:04) Where are you on the certainty spectrum?
(47:20) Why men fear our own anger
(51:21) “Thank God for our emotions”
(56:16) Transcending and balancing the horizontal plane of the mind
(1:04:53) Can we really change?
Notable Quotes
“I’m walking this edge that has excitement, as well as fear. It has a tremendous amount of uncertainty, and there’s also a certain amount of anticipation that’s coming along with it. There’s this part of me that knows, like something magical could be unfolding. And then there’s the other part of me that’s like, ‘You’re going to screw this all up, you have no idea where you’re going. You don’t have a plan for it. It’s not all thought out.’ That’s like the edge I wanna walk and I wanna be able to express from there. I wanna be able to own that place of vulnerability and just be honest with it.” – Luke (24:15)
“Our traumas inform so many things, right? That's the problem. We can't unlock those little micro or macro traumas and be clear and true and honest about it. The best thing that's happened to me [is being] honest about my deficiencies, microtraumas and things that are holding me back with my wife. That's where real unfolding happens. We can create and connect together where there's an understanding, there's a level of compassion, the battles end, the guards are down. The more I can keep expressing those things in a way that's tapped into my truth and my emotions, the better it [is]. … And man, there ain't no sex as good as that.” – Aaron (01:02:21)
Our Guest Aaron Kahlow is an emotional wellbeing advocate, facilitator and leader committed to helping people create more meaningful human connection in our lives through authentic community building, shared learning, healing and personal growth experiences.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
What does your inner voice really sound like? How do we learn to trust it? What happens when we don’t…and more importantly, what happens when we do? The search for and process of leaning into our inner guidance is a theme we’ve explored before with guests Drea Bendewald and Alexis Pokorny Kahlow (Ep. #006), whose unique journeys have led them to lead circles and hold space for other women doing their own inner work. Today, we turn to the guys. What are the specific challenges that men encounter on the road to listening and trusting your inner guide? How can we as men learn to distinguish our “true” inner voice from all the others? How can we reconnect with this innate guide, and what kind of transformations await us on the other side? For this walk, I'm joined by Matt Hogan, and I’m pleased to welcome back Billy Ward.
In This Episode
(01:53) Learning to trust your inner teacher
(03:31) What do we do when our inner voice starts to speak up?
(08:33) How Billy learned to differentiate between mind chatter and his inner guide
(11:56) What happens when we surrender to the flow of life?
(15:19) Matt’s journey to embracing his inner voice
(21:56) Why Matt once walked away from his inner guide, and what brought him back
(26:40) The evolution of Billy’s relationship with his inner voice
(33:20) How Billy’s Kairos work helps young men find themselves and embrace their journeys
(39:54) Billy’s path relearning to trust his inner voice
(41:23) Matt’s revelations with mirroring
(46:10) How do we build a culture where men feel free to share their stories?
(49:56) The ongoing process of developing self-trust
(54:00) When you find yourself seeking trust, ask yourself what you fear
(57:40) How Matt creates and holds space for himself via circling
Notable Quotes
“For me, it really comes down to one question in terms of the thoughts that are coming through: does this thought come from love and truth, or does this thought come from fear? And for me, it's really easy for me to identify those thoughts that come from love and truth. And if I don't want to identify or acknowledge them, the universe is beautifully working, always, and will keep bringing that message up until I say, ‘Hey, you're trying to talk to me. You just keep bringing up this, this truth. I need to be able to look at it if I'm gonna honor that relationship with myself.’ … The quality of our life is often dependent upon the quality of questions that we're willing to ask.” – Billy (09:33)
“So often our lives feel linear, like we're just kind of stepping through on this horizontal chessboard, moving through life from point A to B, to C to D, and those can take the shape of job, marriage, house, retirement, death. But what we're talking about here is not linear by any stretch of the imagination. And it is a very cyclical experience in that you start to have these moments. I remember being seven years old and staring in the mirror going, ‘What am I? I'm in here? I'm in here. What am I doing in here? What is this?’ It was really, really fascinating. Distinguishing between the mental chatter and this still small voice, the essence of who I believe that I truly am, has both saved my life on numerous occasions.” – Matt (15:19)
Our Guests Matt Hogan is a life coach, consciousness explorer and breath-work facilitator who helps entrepreneurs and other leaders accelerate their own internal change for greater impact in their work and lives. Billy Ward is a motivational speaker, mental health advocate, life coach and former professional football player. His podcast, The Billy Ward Podcast, aims to help people live with greater awareness so that they can experience more peace, freedom, joy and love.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
At the beginning of my career, I started and put together what was at the time called a mastermind. This was not like the coaching programs that are out there today – this was a men’s group where you could show up to talk about the things you were focused on, the things you were working on, and the challenges you were encountering. There was a great deal of intimacy that developed among the men in this group. The kind of long lasting support we experienced was a lifeline not only for us, but for many men in similar groups who were struggling to find a place in today’s culture. I saw that when men find a way of coming together, in a way that’s open and vulnerable and even perhaps contrary to the stereotypes of masculinity perpetuated in our world, we are able to connect with ourselves, our loved ones and our communities in ways we never before thought possible. My guests today, Brendon Pardington and Alex Neustein, are two men who have been part of this experience themselves, and who join me today to talk about what this kind of men’s work looks like, what it can do for us, and why it’s so important today more than ever.
In This Episode
(01:15) Why I started my first men’s mastermind group
(06:11) The importance of vulnerability and honesty among men
(13:33) Alex’s experience in a men’s group, despite a lifetime of feeling unsafe around other men
(17:20) Brendon’s personal work, and what drew him to the support of a men’s group
(19:53) Alex’s perspective on why so many men feel unsafe around other men
(27:33) How relating to other men in a safe space has affected the way Brendon shows up for himself
(33:51) Contemplation, discipline, and the art of being present
(39:45) What are you anchored to?
(45:30) The power of acknowledging what’s outside of your control
(50:55) What being part of a men’s group has taught Alex and Brendon about other men
(54:18) Toxic masculinity, and the courage it takes to be vulnerable
(1:00:53) The catharsis of feeling emotion among men who are holding space for you
(1:07:06) The importance of somatic work
Notable Quotes
“This story that we have told ourselves – that to be there for you means I can't be there for me – can be summed up as ‘I don't feel safe expressing authentically because I'm afraid that my authentic expression will harm you.’ Or ‘I don't feel safe expressing myself authentically because authentically expressing myself will harm me – it will incite your wrath or will incite your anger or will push you away. And I will be abandoned.’ And I think this sense of feeling unsafe is at the heart of the work that I began to do.” – Alex (22:40)
“Suffering is necessary, at first you resist it or you react to it, you avoid it, just the classic patterns. But once you're able to accept it, that's the secret to almost everything as far as I can tell, with emotional regulation, with getting along with other people and having powerful, meaningful relationships, having good boundaries, all of that comes from accepting, that's what you want or that's how this is. So that's been something that I've been really focused on, is the acceptance.” – Brendon (30:17)
Our Guests Brendon Pardington is a father, husband, spiritual seeker, and men’s relationship coach. A midlife crisis, job loss and near divorce forced him to start doing the work necessary to create a more meaningful life – and now he helps other men do the same. Alex Neustein is an attorney, software developer and graphic designer who has been involved in men’s work for over four years. He is beginning to train as a psychotherapist in order to help others conquer self-defeating patterns, negative self-talk, and social anxiety.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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We spend so much of our lives on the periphery. What matters most is at the center—and yet we get pulled away, time and time again. This was a perpetual state for me for too long. I would get lost in life’s demands and obligations. I thought I was chasing the most important thing – success, achievement, image – but that was just my conditioning. So how do we come back? How do we not only wake up to the pursuits that pull us away, but also go deeper into what needs these pursuits pretend to fulfill? For that to occur, we need both space and an understanding of the many patterns at work. I was fortunate to quite literally find myself journeying next to a fellow explorer, Andrea Bendewald. She exudes both an aliveness and also a deeper centeredness you can sense in her gaze. And it’s no wonder, based on the past couple decades of her journey and the practice at the core of her work. And as I pictured stepping into this conversation with Drea, I could see our other sister, Alexis Pokorny Kahlow, who one could say has spent time traveling in similar circles!
In This Episode
(01:25) How my ‘hero’s journey’ started six years ago
(04:54) How do we return back to the center?
(09:16) How Andrea realized she was off center, listening to “the voice”
(13:07) How chasing corporate success led Alexis from her path
(16:07) Finding answers in the circle
(23:24) Alexis’ pivot to her spiritual journey
(27:31) Andrea’s processes, and working with women from all walks of life
(34:00) Spiritual evolution through circling
(47:36) How Alexis uses the seasons to help clients visualize life
(53:11) The most prevalent seasons in Alexis’ and Andrea’s lives
(1:00:15) What does it mean to care for ourselves, and how can that help us find center?
Notable Quotes
“I get something out of every circle I lead or sit in and very often something comes through me that I had no idea needed or wanted to be spoken. So that can be the gift that comes from [it] – the deep listening, if we're holding space and really listening and letting each person's story enter us and change us. And because we're kind of practicing a more conscious way of being together, I can feel it where I can feel it go, ‘Oh, that was designed for me. That's what I came here to receive is that one nugget of truth. That is somebody else's truth. But now is also my truth.’” – Andrea (16:07)
“I'm a big believer in meeting people where they are. And, you know, the women that I'm working with, we start with some grounding and attending and attuning practices, like just landing in our bodies. What do you feel? Where do you feel in your body? What's the sensation presenting it as? And then we'll share just simply on that, because the muscle that I'm hoping to help them develop is that pause, becoming more sensitive to actually what they're feeling, and then being able to verbally communicate that, to be able to hear themselves.” – Alexis (25:57)
Our Guests Known originally as an actress, Andrea Bendewald is also a mindfulness coach, circle facilitator and founder of The Art of Circling, a spiritual practice based on ancient ritual that uses group mindfulness to empower individuals, strengthen communities and enhance productivity. Through sharing stories, deep listening and interconnected meditation, The Art of Circling heals and transforms lives. Alexis Pokorny Kahlow is a performance-based mindfulness expert, author and CEO of Open Deltas. Before launching her own company, Alexis spent over a decade as a top-performing corporate sales leader at Cisco, where she first introduced mindfulness to her own team. She is the author of a book called “Out of the Grind and Into the Flow” and currently works with Fortune 500 companies to provide corporate mindfulness training.
Resources & Links On This Walk
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https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
I’ve arrived at a place where central to my purpose in life is peace — when I connect to and from peace, I settle deeply into life, regardless of its perceived ups and downs. However, in discussions with others, I often get the same response: “Okay, that sounds nice. But how do you get things done? Isn’t that a bit passive? Do you just bliss out and let stuff go by?” If I read between the lines, those questions are really asking: Do you bypass life? Do you avoid problems? Do you get anything done? Actually, peace can be quite active and is anything but a spiritually lazy way of being. And I think my two guests know this quite well. I’m very fortunate to be joined today by my dear friend and former colleague, Jenny Wiley, who’s been creatively and socially engaged for even longer than I’ve known her! I’m also joined by Reggie Hubbard, whom I found through one of our recent guests, Aaron Kahlow (Episode #003). Reggie created Active Peace Yoga, and I think that phrase sums up the duality and intention of today’s walk.
In This Episode
(0:58) My journey to finding active peace in my own life
(09:44) Reggie’s lifelong mission to understand the idea of active peace
(14:02) Yoga, Buddhism, the anger of advocacy and marching on Congress
(19:32) How the death of her father set Jenny on the path to leading from the heart
(25:28) Does anger create peace?
(30:26) How shadow elements affect our own minds – and hinder our nation
(35:31) How Jenny deals with the discomfort that comes with searching for active peace
(40:06) Why Reggie believes in shining a light on our pain in order to heal from it
(47:56) Why Jenny holds a place for active compassion among active dialogue and active practice
(52:09) The role of faith in Jenny’s experience creating community
(56:39) Reggie’s favorite space-creating practices
(1:02:15) What do we do when we still don’t have perfect peace?
Notable Quotes
“The short answer is that we have deluded ourselves into thinking that we're in this alone and we're not, we're in this together. So racism doesn't just hurt black people. Like racism hurts white people, sexism doesn't hurt just women. It hurts men too. Transphobia, all the things that we demonize about other people, it hurts us also. And so when we have the ability as teachers, leaders, but also as humans to see what we have in common, that gives us not only the energy, but the container to hold space with the difficult conversations.” – Reggie (40:06)
“[In my mid-twenties] there was like the real part of myself that I really wasn't listening to, or even noticing that there was that part of me that I wasn't listening to. I was experiencing the detriment of not being integrated. I was so, so deeply depressed, really, really volatile. I decided, okay, so I'm gonna give myself a tagline and I'm just gonna go with it and try it on and see how it goes. And, and the tagline that I gave for myself was leading from the heart, because to me that meant that I wasn't operating out of that performative, like headspace, like I need to be something for someone else. It was leading from my heart centered place. And I started to see things kind of unfold from there.” – Jenny (23:11)
Our Guests Reggie Hubbard is an RYT-500 certified yoga teacher and the founder of Active Peace Yoga. He has taught yoga to elected officials, activists and people from all walks of life. His practice is built on the idea that miracles happen when we commit to our personal peace and wellbeing. Jenny Wiley specializes in creating group experiences for those who want to leverage the power of community. She currently serves as Community Manager for Zencity, which works exclusively with local governments to provide consulting services for data-driven community engagement.
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Over our first three episodes, I’ve noticed that there’s an inescapable common theme: courage. It takes courage to walk away from old patterns, old ways of being, old aspects of identity by which others know you, and by which you’ve known yourself your entire life. It takes courage to step into the unknown, the in between, to find steady footing on the shaky ground of transition. (In fact, if a transition feels too easy, it might be because we moved too quickly, trying to fill up the emptiness inherent to the unknown, to new beginnings.) This show is going to place The Courage It Takes front and center. We’ll talk about the various stages we encounter as we instigate and cycle through change within our lives. I believe there’s value in paying close attention to the “in between” — that wonderful stage I have come to know so well, of being “no longer” in one place and “not yet” in the next. To navigate this walk, I’ve invited a new guest to our show, and invited back a familiar face from Episode 1.
In This Episode
(03:40) Finding the courage to move in new directions and rediscover ourselves
(10:45) How Marni’s year of radical faith strengthened her “courage muscle”
(13:06) Michael on the rewards of allowing our higher selves to make courageous decisions
(22:48) Marni’s fight for her life as her source of courage
(25:24) Michael’s concept of courage as an energy inherent in each of us
(31:49) Self-acceptance, authenticity and intuition as key elements of courage
(40:10) How are you being asked to be courageous right now, at this moment in life?
(44:02) How to embrace uncertainty while having faith in the idea of “divine timing”
(49:56) “Trust the ceremony”: returning to our places of inner courage
(56:40) Why courage requires bold and radical action
Notable Quotes
“I remember this moment where I was like, if I can't dig deep for myself – because at that time I didn't even feel worthy of it – I thought about the fact that the universe gave me three daughters and I was like, I have to be courageous for them because the one thing I wanna be is an awesome mom. And I might be a complete disaster in all these other ten things. And that was the first time where I was like, I don't wanna do this. I wanna hide. I wanna shut down. I wanna quit. And I remember just thinking, like I have to have something to fight for. And at that time it was that energy of fighting for my life. That was the beginning of that courage. And I think over time, that energy shifts, but sometimes when you're really in that broken place, like you gotta find something to fight for.” – Marni (22:48)
“I really think that courage is an energy that is inherent in every single human being. … I believe it's inherent to who we are as souls, to who we are as spirits in our divinity. When we remember to connect to our divinity, it is easier to be courageous because that is an energy that is instilled in us from birth. I mean, just look at toddlers, look at infants. They're just like all over the place. They have no fear of the unknown. It’s the ego that has the fear.” – Michael (25:24)
Our Guests Transformational leader and coach Marni Battista is the founder of The Institute for Living Courageously and Dating with Dignity. She is also the host of the podcast Life Check Yourself and author of memoir/self-help book “How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates.” Marni’s work has been featured in Glamour, Cosmopolitan, The Oprah Magazine and on Dr. Phil. Doctoral-trained therapist and healing practitioner Michael Smith is the founder of Empath Connection. As a leader in mind-body holistic healing for nearly two decades, Michael has personally coached thousands of individuals to make stronger connections between mind, body, and spirit.
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https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
How often does the mask we wear–at work, with our friends, even our loved ones–match what’s going on underneath? The face we show to the world isn't necessarily the face we show ourselves. There's often a disconnect between the way we see ourselves and the way we present ourselves to the world. The more we aim to please, rise or shrink to fit given situations and expectations, the more we lose sight of who we are. But who is that, really? It's time to pull down the masks, challenge what's real and what's illusion, and stop hiding. It's vulnerability time. On today’s episode, I’m honored to welcome guests Ashanti Branch and Aaron Kahlow. The origins of Ashanti's work were featured in the documentary, “The Mask You Live In,” which looks at how traditional notions of masculinity are affecting our young men. Aaron is a social health and emotional wellbeing advocate and facilitator whose experience creating space for people to safely take down their masks makes him an incredible source of wisdom for today’s topic.
In This Episode
(01:38) Learning to wear–and take down–masks from childhood
(07:44) How Ashanti defines “mask”
(13:12) Aaron’s exhaustion from wearing masks
(17:13) The concept of holding space
(20:03) How Ashanti uses the idea of masks to help kids open up
(25:50) Revealing what’s behind Aaron’s mask
(30:45) Using our masks as a way to bottle up emotions
(34:32) The importance of co-regulation and social connections
(41:02) How we can create safe space
(46:15) Helping young men learn trust
(55:49) What it takes to trust
(58:03) Skillful relationships—with others and yourself
Notable Quotes
“I was raised by a single mother in Oakland, California. I was supposed to know what it meant to be a man. Even though there was no man really helping me figure it out. And I think the story that I wanna connect to what you shared was I was told by my uncle, I was a man of the house. And I'm like, ‘Hey, I'm just seven. I just wanna play.’ And that childhood got taken away really quickly. And so I began to have to learn quickly through a lot of pain, a lot of battles and fights that, who I am nurture-wise is not what my community accepted is what really means to be a man. And so I had to put on all these different masks… And I think that because of those early lessons of helping and nurturing and taking care of everybody made it really hard because I was in charge. I didn't get to go ask people for help. And so asking people for help is still hard for me to this day.” – Ashanti (08:15)
“It's exhausting to be a leader. It's exhausting to be strong for the family. It's exhausting to play all these roles because at least for me, I'm not in harmony with the natural world… So every day is exhausting because there's a mask to protect myself so I can make it through the day. When I say that I can feel that in my eyes. And I know that's still true for me. As much as I work on that, like I'm still taking these masks off and wrestling 'em down every day. Like, no, you stay down there. I'm just gonna show up.” – Aaron (13:12)
Our Guests Ashanti Branch is the founder and executive director of The Ever Forward Club, which he started in 2004 to provide underserved middle and high school boys with a safe community to build character and transform lives. Since then, The Ever Forward Club has become a 501(c)3 non-profit organization that serves both young men and women. It has helped 100% of its members graduate high school, and 93% of them have gone on to attend college. Aaron Kahlow is an emotional wellbeing advocate, facilitator and leader committed to helping people create more meaningful human connection in our lives through authentic community building, shared learning, healing and personal growth experiences.
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/lukeiorio/
https://instagram.com/dlukeiorio
https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
When something major happens – death of a loved one, loss of a career, identity crisis, or other significant worldview shift – how do we figure out how to just “be” again? On my journey, I’m realizing that to find that purpose, we have to peel back a lot of layers – the societal norms, cultural expectations, family pressures; the fears, doubts, confidence-shaking beliefs. We have to learn to turn down the outside voices and listen for that small, still voice within each of us that's been saying, "I've got you. Just listen." For this episode, I wanted to tag in two marvelous colleagues, coaches and friends, inspirations, Billy Ward and Tambre Leighn. Both of these beautiful souls have devoted themselves to the hard work of Being True to Your Self/Your Soul. As we talked about purpose (which I have a strong feeling we'll be returning to often on this show), we also talked about humility, faith, peace, frustration, ego, and much more. I hope you'll walk with us for this one.
In This Episode
(01:52) Overcoming my conditioned purpose
(07:29) Tambre’s great loss and how she was thrust into a different journey
(09:52) Billy recounts the process of claiming his own strength
(13:41) Navigating life without “true north”
(20:44) The sacred emotion of pain
(23:45) Tambre finds a thread of light within the darkness
(27:12) What will make your life feel worthwhile, even if just for today?
(32:18) Ritualizing what you value
(38:35) The importance of staying in touch with your physical body
(49:30) How do we connect with our true purpose?
(58:47) The journey of reinvention
Notable Quotes “After Gary passed, I realized for the first time he wasn't walking back through the door and I was sitting in broad daylight in the house, on our couch and everything literally went black. I could not see a thing. And I panicked and was like, what is this? What is this blackness? What is this nothingness? Is this all there is? And there was some little spark in me that said, There has to be some pinprick of light here somewhere. If you find it, it will be the thread that leads you back. And I did finally, you know, see a little bit of light, you know, came through that, but where that thread led was into six years of absolute utter darkness. I suffered from grief related depression. This journey was not easy. I only continued on it because I got up every morning and I was breathing for a while. You know, it took a lot to come out of it. And I did.” – Tambre (13:41)
“All my life, I had tried to pretend that I had all my sht together and what I found in the void and the darkness was that in my brokenness and in sharing my brokenness and admitting that I was broken, I felt more whole and more free. And I was like, this is actually kind of a funny dance. I'm telling people that I'm a fcking mess…and I feel better about where I'm at. And people seem to be sharing from the bottom and the depths of their heart too. And so it was kind of like a funny thing was happening even though I was feeling so low, I was starting to connect in a really meaningful way.” – Billy (16:16)
Our Guests Certified professional coach Tambre Leighn is the founder of Well Beyond Ordinary, a consulting company that helps healthcare clients use coaching skills to improve communication, patient engagement, and build trust. Tambre’s work integrating coaching into patient support was inspired by her experience as a caregiver for her late husband. Billy Ward is a motivational speaker, mental health advocate, life coach and former professional football player. His podcast, The Billy Ward Podcast, aims to help people live with greater awareness so that they can experience more peace, freedom, joy and love.
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https://instagram.com/onthiswalkshow
What takes us away from that feeling of being at home within oneself? In our very first show, I share the moment six years ago that kicked off this journey. It was a year of loss, burnout, struggle, trying to hold it together. It was a year that led me to question a great deal about myself, my life, and my purpose. It was painful. It was stressful. And it was magic... For our inaugural episode, I'm joined by two marvelous human beings, Michael Smith of the Empath Connection and Alexis Pokorny Kahlow of Open Deltas, who’ve faced intense spiritual and emotional journeys of their own. They share their inflection points as well as help us explore those moments that take us away from that feeling of being home in ourselves – and the moments that bring us back again. I’m excited for you to join me On This Walk.
In This Episode
(01:56) The genesis of On This Walk
(11:00) What Michael needed to say no to and walk away from to find his path
(11:58) Alexis’ career was going places while she had to find authenticity on the weekends
(13:37) Alexis’ journey to inner peace
(19:29) Our emotions advocate for us to choose the light
(22:56) The importance of taking space
(25:12) Seeking belonging by conforming, and the dissatisfaction that followed
(28:39) Michael’s mindfulness technique to connect with himself and his soul
(36:34) “You can’t push the river.”
(42:54) The value of feeling and embracing our emotions
(47:05) Being ready to start the journey
(49:24) “Remember to call on your soul for help.”
(50:29) Alexis’ guidance to “tweak, don’t freak”
Notable Quotes
“For me, realizing that I spent all those years, especially in a sales role, that's all about accomplishment, right? And the numbers and metrics show if I am good or not good. But I think that just that simple question that was asked, ‘are you happy?’ – it made me realize that home is inside me. It's not outside. It's not the thing that I build. It's the thing that actually fills that structure. And that's the part that we need to care and feed for. And if we keep listening to that, we stay home, you know, it never feels like work.” – Alexis (17:33)
“I felt dead inside. I felt miserable. I was depressed, suicidal. Like this wasn't happening for me. I actually got my rage, came in the form of screaming at my department chair and basically getting myself fired because of it. And, and I was like, thank you, soul, for doing that. Thank you, soul, for allowing me to express my unhappiness in that way, because it directly led me to the work that I'm doing now.” – Michael (20:28)
Our Guests Doctoral-trained therapist and healing practitioner Michael Smith is the founder of Empath Connection. As a leader in mind-body holistic healing for nearly two decades, Michael has personally coached thousands of individuals to make stronger connections between mind, body, and spirit. Alexis Pokorny Kahlow is a performance-based mindfulness expert, author and CEO of Open Deltas. Before launching her own company, Alexis spent over a decade as a top-performing corporate sales leader at Cisco, where she first introduced mindfulness to her own team. She is the author of a book called “Out of the Grind and Into the Flow” and currently works with Fortune 500 companies to provide corporate mindfulness training.
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On This Walk is a podcast that explores meaning, purpose, alignment, and listening to the deeper call for our lives. It’s a journey of exploration, of questions, of experiences and hard-won wisdom. It’s a journey of re-membering and re-connecting. And personally, this is my offering, my prayer, my meditation to the universe, for us to once again live in the authentic, true nature and essence of who we are—healed and whole, personally and collectively.