Cat Noir Comedy Podcast: Recent Episodes
Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders
Cat Noir is a full cast audio, character based comedy story. Where the silly and absurd sit side by side in the shade.
Every fortnight, join us to find out what your favourite character is up to.
Some sound effects from Zapsplat.com .
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone.
Written, directed, produced and performed by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
All music (C) Kevin Chilvers
Flight instructor Mike Russett starts his morning with a challenging lesson. But, for Mike, today is only going to get weirder…
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Cessna FX provided by "Cheeseheadburger" and "Cask" on freesounds.com
Geoff the Baker was here a moment ago. You just missed him.
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A one-note character, largely known for saying Perkins lots, swears vengeance and justice on the man who wronged her, and will stop at nothing to make things right.
Warning: this episode contains themes of revenge and marzipan.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is staying as far away from this episode as he can.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jude Baxter works at Hamilton laboratories.
His single purpose is to clean up after others and be ignored by his colleagues.
One night after hours, he accidentally solves the complex puzzle to life on earth,
however, has he just doomed the rest of the world to destruction.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker doesn't really care for the environment.
We caught him releasing raw sewage into our local pond. You don't want the details.
britishcomedy #podcastfantasystories #fullcomedypodcast #shortstoryaudiobook
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Hunted by an array of people braying for blood, Danny Peaks has to think outside the box
to defeat the ancient sorcerer before he destroys the city.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Magic Mike has been in touch to advise that he has never heard of Geoff the Baker.
He does however eat baked items, but only on Thursdays. He needs to maintain his figure.
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Danny Peaks thought his day couldn't get any worse, but it has.
Hunted by the police and now trapped in a disused mine with his family,
Danny meets an ancient sorcerer who is in desperate need of a cup of tea.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker would like to point out an error in last weeks synopsis, where we incorrectly
stated he doesn't like magic. Apparently that sentence should have read. Geoff the Baker doesn't like Magic
Mike.
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Danny Peaks is in big trouble. His wife has been kidnapped by bandits and the police want a word.
Could his day get any worse?
Maybe a visit to his rival Graham, will cheer him up?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker doesn't like magic, but he does like circles. His favourite is a tangent.
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Marooned at a desolate research station on a planet far, far away and likely fictional,
civilian Jeff Bumble takes Star Captain Dick Calhoon through a virtual tour of life on an outpost
with no other humans and no contact beyond one affectionate android.
Episode 70 was written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to his disbelief in the planet Nibiru.
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Seizing the opportunity to deliver his own podcast, Bill Shyster introduces us to the greatest money-making venture of all time.
Warning: DO NOT give this man any money.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to a long-running dispute with Bill Shyster.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
More gruesome deaths await the third night of the full moon at Bumpkin Manor. Will Kev and Matt survive?
Will the identity of the beast finally be revealed? Does any of this even matter? Who knows.
Episode four of a four-part mini-series.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker’s word is to be taken on a case-by-case basis.
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The second day at Bumpkin Manor brings authoritative questions and stupid answers,
whilst the second night brings more blood, death, and the return of the beast.
But just what is it? A wild animal? Or are far more sinister forces at work?
Episode three of a four-part mini-series.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker’s word is currently being contested.
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Still on the first night of the full moon cycle, Kev and Matt seek answers in the rural Bumpkin Manor;
home to an eccentric family of complete and incomplete Bumpkins. Is everyone really who they say
they are and what of the beast calling out in the night? Episode two of a four-part mini-series.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is NOT a man of his word.
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Following the arrival of a mysterious letter, Kev and Matt take to the road in search of Bumpkin Manor,
and all the secrets that lie within. Join us for the first episode of a four-part mysterious mystery mini-series,
where the words mysterious and mystery are likely to get used far too often.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is a man of his word.
Season 5 starts here.
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Join us for a Christmas tale starring Pink tiger and his faithful butler Burrowing Owl,
as they investigate the curious case of the Pale Lemur.
Keep the receipt, just in case.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker has made mince pies for the occasion. I wouldn't take one if he offers. You never know.
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With the super hero team, "No Quarter," broken into pieces and no closer to finding to the villain known as Dr Dentist.
Duke takes charge and starts to connect the dots. What he finds however, will challenge everything he thought he knew.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff The Baker played the Trombone during this episode. Thankfully, many, many miles away from our recording.
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Having lost another member of "No Quarter," the super hero team regroup to look for the villain known as Dr Dentist.
However, a bigger danger could lay closer to home.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff The Baker recorded a cameo for this episode but his scene was cut. It was a shame as he was excellent.
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Time Traveller, Duke Render has been forced into joining the super hero team, "No Quarter."
Their mission, to find the super villain known as Dr Dentist.
However the team are fixated on a little, old man who lives down the road and only wants a quiet life.
Maybe they are looking in the wrong direction?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
We just want to make it clear; although there is a character called Geoff Baker in this weeks episode, it is not Geoff THE Baker.
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Who is the mysterious Lacunar Infarct? Is he really a vampire? Or is some other nonsense afoot?
Dale Alan digs deeper in the concluding part of this year’s Halloween special.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is stuck in traffic.
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Why is a single island known as The Ferrero Rocher Isles? Exactly where is it?
And should anyone even care? These, and many other questions, are unlikely
to get answered in this episode; the first of a two-part Halloween special.
Geoff the Baker will be with you in a minute.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
After 136 weeks of non-stop cooking action, things are about to get even hotter in the grand final of Honk’s Kitchen.
Join us for cauliflower, broccoli, and much much more as the last two contestants compete to win the coveted prize
of Head Chef at Honk Romsey’s brand new mobile restaurant and burger van: Honkz.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker won’t be appearing due to reasons known only to the secret service.
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It’s the semi-final of one of the world’s most exciting daytime cookery shows, where casseroles and tempers get extremely heated.
Disclaimer: no casseroles are featured in this episode. Not one.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is staying unusually silent this week, so won’t be appearing.
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A surprise visit from Kev’s Auntie Mabel and Uncle Fred casts an awkward mood over the podcast.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker might actually be Geoff the Banker. More to follow.
A surprise visit from Kev’s Auntie Mabel and Uncle Fred casts an awkward mood over the podcast.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker might actually be Geoff the Banker. More to follow.
Kev is busy at the zoo so Matt decides to take a short cut editing the podcast but ends up activating a rather psychotic audio description.
Matt needs to go the post office but Audio Description and the local police have other plans.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Adoption piano theme used by kind permission from Migfus20.
Geoff the Baker can't play the piano, but is pretty good on the hurdy-gurdy. Or so he says.
Mysterious bubble wrapped packages await instructions at the disused Turwzels chocolate factory, as the survivors find that life back in the real world,
might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island. Cat Noir presents the final episode of MISSING Series 2.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker is not interested in World domination as he has cakes to bake.
Billionaire, Alfie Lovechild is working on a special project for the UK police. His robot prototypes have been tested and are due to roll out to all forces across the country. However, one man has worked out how to control the drones and intends to use them for his own gain. Can Alfie stop him?
Cat Noir presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .
Geoff the Baker wants to make it very clear that he is not a robot.
Following a lorry leaving a fish market, Danny Peaks meets up with some old friends and finds an curious omen written on the back of a breadboard.
Cat Noir presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker would like to point out that we have been pronouncing his name wrong. It's Goff the Baker. Apologies Geoff.
Insert Namher is investigating strange disappearances at a residential home for old actors, where an old friend has come in procession of a rather magical suitcase. This property can not be allowed to fall in the hands of business tycoon Augustus Pennington-Smythe, but he has sent a man to retrieve it. Red Mist, the sworn enemy of the super hero known only as Smoke.
Cat Noir Presents MISSING Series 2. Where the plane crash survivors find that life back in the real world, might not be as safe as being marooned on a killer island.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker has been given notice.
Kev and Matt try to celebrate their 50th episode, but no one wants a clip show.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com -
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers.
Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to an urgent order of buns.
In this episode we spend a day following the lives of workers at one of Britain’s most incompetent funeral homes.
Expect nothing, except inappropriate funeral music, missing fizzy drinks and rouge TV presenters.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker is not a footnote.
The mystery deepens at Restoration Falls, as novelist Charlie Blunderwedge completes his treatment for pinecone phobia
and seems to become a brand new man, but at what cost, and why is he acting differently toward his old friend and publishing agent Jim Bond?
The secret of the spa is finally revealed in the concluding part of this Cat Noir adventure.
Will Charlie and Jim get out alive? And will anyone believe what them if they do?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Novelist Charlie Blunderwedge and his agent Jim Bond take a few well earned vacation days in a secluded health spa hidden in the Swiss Alps.
But is Restoration Falls all that it seems? And what exactly are the special treatments that go on there?
Join us for the first of a brand new two part Charlie and Jim adventure.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Mr Godwin finds a small boy behind his wheelie bin who is so scared he can't talk.
Feeling out of options, Mr Godwin calls for help from the one person who knows he can trust above all others.
David Hasslehoff!
He's in for a shock.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com - come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
Bundy hopes his new invention will keep the rain at bay, so he and Ted can finally watch the night stars. Instead, various corpses seem to be traipsing around outside the observatory, all with a fresh appetite for brains...
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com. Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode as he does not have an umbrella.
Ever had one of those weeks where you get plagued non-stop by mustard? Kev can relate – and he doesn’t even like mustard. Meanwhile, Matt’s got a new agent. The work is rolling in, and Taffy has an eye on Kev for a very special part. Meanwhile Warren has a BIG problem.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com. Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker is not a Lord of anything.
Dr Pentagram is fond of spiders, but just how close does the bond go? And what does this mean for everyone in the hospital around him? Join Cat Noir in the first of three special nightmare stories, where each one is more terrifying than the next...
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker's favourite spider is Man.
WARNING: This episode contains spiders.
What begins as an interview with an informant becomes a life-or-death situation for Lead, Lead Detective Michaels as he follows Matt and Kev around town looking for answers.
The Questions might be: Why do Bundy and Ted now have a studio audience? Why is Warren pedalling crisps and how protective should a house alarm really be?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker is not real. Or is he? He's not! But he could be. Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't.
One thing is for sure. You won't find out in this episode.
Cat Noir presents Part Two of their musical: Super Chupacabra. Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur and his team prepare traps to catch the beast as a mysterious sexy, monster blows up their boat. Follow the twists and turns as the Hunters find they have become the hunted.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com. Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker is still refusing to sing, unless he can duet with Snoop Dogg.
Cat Noir presents Part One of their musical: Super Chupacabra. After a dodgy bet in a rowdy pub; famed explorer Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur assembles a team to cross the seas and search for the mighty, mythical goat sucking Chupacabra. Who'll make the team and who can be trusted? Rum anyone?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com. Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker doesn't appear in this episode as he only sings in the shower.
Two rouges concoct a plan to claim life insurance from their rather clumsy friend Hector.
But how difficult could it be to kill someone whose life is a walking disaster?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker has 13 insurance policies. He assures us this is a dozen.
Introducing Cat Noir Comedy Podcast
The scripted audio comedy/drama.
Character based stories.
Out every fortnight.
Written, performed, produced and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Music by Kevin Chilvers.
Kev and Matt track Rick Alanman to The Tachycardic Plaza in London just in time for a plot of movie-sized proportions to unfold.
Join us for the conclusion of a special festive double episode, where love and dry roasted peanuts are in the air, and party
door staff can be a little irate. Can Kev and Matt save Christmas? No good asking Mr Tunguska... he will never tell.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Except Rick.
When a cosy Cat Noir Christmas gets rudely hijacked, Kev and Matt take to the road in a bid to save the season.
Join us for the first part of a festive double episode, where Danny Peaks is selling the ultimate stocking-filler,
Mr Godwin learns some cold truths about Christmas traditions, and Dale Alan interviews a special guest on Digging Deeper.
Did anyone bring any trifle?
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers and Laurie Stone. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Geoff the Baker might appear in this episode.
Matt and Kev get a strange letter as we visit Egypt to find out how a Cat God became the narrator on a comedy podcast.
The 34th death in Cat Noir has been reached starting the #35 protocol. DO NOT PANIC.
Who will die 35th? All will be revealed, and nothing will be the same again.
Geoff the Baker wasn't #35. He wants it known that his trouser size is actually 34/31. He was insistent that I include this information.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Patrick MacNee probes the story of two of the most active serial killers of our time in this very special episode
of The TV Crime documentary "Harmed to Death."
Over the last 18 months during the Cat Noir Comedy Podcast there have been exactly 34 on screen deaths.
Now this may sound like a coincidence but believe me, it's not. Our final, 35th death has not let happened,
but when it does, it will activate the #35 protocol that has been running since the very first episode. A klaxon
will indicate that the 35th death is imminent. Do not be alarmed. You will not need to do anything, other than,
sit back and enjoy this episode. Why not have a bet with a friend, as to who will be that all important 35th death.
Geoff the Baker might be #35... stay tuned to find out.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
An ancient horror. A terrible curse that strikes without warning, without remorse, without any real meaning.
Join Matt and Kev for a special Hallowe'en adventure so terrifying that, according to Warren: "you'll definitely soil yourself".
Don't worry though; if things get too scary, you can always call Ghost Frighteners...
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to trick or treat commitments.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Duke Render tries to save the Titanic but gets stuck in a reoccurring nightmare.
Lead, Lead Detective Michaels has a house call to make.
Digging Deeper finally gets a touch of class, whilst Geoff and Petunia are plagued by a screaming banshee.
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode because he couldn't be bothered.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Craig Crayons helps a hoarder, Dr Pentagram makes some unusual diagnoses, and we finally learn
the ancient secrets of origami. Meanwhile, on Over The Fence, Lionel and Richie talk us through
some of their favourite seasonal foods... but what are they really up to?
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode for political reasons.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you have a theft/arson/disappearance that can not be explained?
Then maybe you need the services of the Great Panthera Detective: The Pink Tiger.
Visit him at his mansion and relax in one of the many planning rooms, whilst explaining your problems
and being waited on by his butler, Burrowing Owl. However, the price paid is never money.
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode as all his teeth have fallen out.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
A night of particularly heavy rain spells disaster for Bundy and Ted on Stargazing Live, as the exits are blocked,
trapping them in the observatory. Luckily, thanks to a fortuitously timed competition win, they'll have plenty to eat.
Elsewhere, Malcolm is trying to find the right sort of applicant to hire at Animal Help...
Geoff the baker may not actually be a baker. More to follow.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
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Ian and Stella are back in the studio, but Juggy Brown wants his revenge.
Carl Terminator gets his own TV Show, Cunch of Bunts release a new single and the Tour De France passes by,
but the big question is, how many sheep make a "Shep?"
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode as he is busy recycling.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Season 3 kicks off with Dale Alan asking more probing questions on Digging Deeper. Meanwhile, a scandal
at the Twurzels factory leads Lead Lead Detective Michaels to uncover a controversy so sinister, it sparks a
chocolate ripple across the entire Cat Noir universe, but why does Demi Moore keep phoning?
Geoff the baker does not appear in this episode due to Covid 19 travel restrictions.
Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com
Find us on Instagram @Catnoirpodcast
Part 4: The Quest for the Stone.
Separated from Jim and forced to take his search to Morocco, Charlie seeks out the final painting, whilst Jim
has a strange encounter in the snow, and A. Sean Bean proves without a shadow of a doubt that two Jim's isn't
necessarily a good thing.
Join Charlie and Jim on their final leg of their adventure in the concluding part of the Hollywood Action Movie,
where high seas come with high stakes, Moroccan tangerine sellers come with tangerines, and precious stones
are always wanted by men with guns.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on
whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
The Moroccan fight sequence features audio recorded by Kevin Luce and downloaded from www.freesound.org
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Part 3: Risky Business
After a narrow escape from The Great Ostrich Casino in Vegas, Charlie and Jim head to Washington DC Comics
to find the third painting. Only, A. Sean Bean's has plans too. And now the FBI are watching...
Join Charlie and Jim's adventure in the third episode of this 4 part Hollywood Action Movie.
Where lives are lost, trust is short, and Senator Porkchop shows us how the wheels of politics really spin.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on
whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Part Two: A Whole heap of Art.
After a visit to The Great London Museum of Englishness, Charlie and Jim are pursued across the city by A. Sean Bean
and his goons. Aided by a mysterious but helpful German woman who could be easily mistaken for Arnold Schwarzenegger,
the two leave England to widen their search for more paintings in the grand ole US of A.
Join Charlie, Jim, and maybe Stella too in the second episode of this 4 part Hollywood Action Movie,
where the hunt for the stone becomes a gamble for life. Only in Vegas.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on
whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Part 1: Forgotten Treasures
Novelist, Charlie Blunderwedge and his friend and literary agent, Jim Bond, are thrown into adventure after discovering mysterious writings on the
back of Charlie's new painting. But what does it all mean? And why does a man who looks exactly like Sean Bean care so much?
Join Charlie, Jim, and a whole heap of Hollywood characters as they set out on their quest to solve the question no one knew needed answering:
What is the Pynming August Sun Stone?
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on
whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
In this final episode of the Cat Noir miniseries; the remaining survivors reach the windmill and learn the truth behind the plane crash.
Are they in purgatory? Or maybe trapped in a time loop? Has this all been a hallucination?
Or just an insane scheme, concocted by a failed actor, desperate to get on the podcast?
All the answers you need are here. In this episode. Waiting to be heard.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on
whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to a restraining order.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Following the horror of the swimming pool, the survivors find a door marked 'Quarantine' on the side of a disused windmill.
Inside, they'll find answers to the power behind the island. Meanwhile, Danny Peaks learns he can't outrun his past. So he packs his bags.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram
@catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us.
Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode. Where are you Geoff? Give us a call.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Following the heart breaking tragedy of the coconut incident, things are becoming sweaty and tense in the jungle.
Maybe the survivors could cool down with a nice swim, but nothing comes easy in a jungle, where everything wants to eat you.
Meanwhile, Danny sends Warren on a mission and finally meets Salutations Binweave face to face.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode despite the numerous messages left for him.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Something waits, echoing through the jungle, while Alfie has a flashback of daddy issue sized proportions.
Elsewhere, an unlikely duo is formed as Danny and Warren investigate the tickets with the help of Warren's friend: a real life computer wizard.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode as he is on holiday in Bermuda and is not taking calls.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
A woman awakes on a beach, bruised, bloody and lost. Recognition of where she is and what has happened begins to float across her face.
She winces back the pain…
Who else has survived? Where are they? Why did this happen? What animal would make the perfect family pet?
Meanwhile a Heron needs collecting from the airport.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast
and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone.
Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to his ongoing commitments to baking, regardless of any scheduled court appearances.
Nine very different people all have one thing in common: they've been gifted a holiday to Bermuda. Not all of them are going to make it. Unconnected and unknowing, everyone boards the plane while Danny Peaks gets a mysterious phone call and Passport Control proves that no matter what actions you take, you can't cheat fate.
This episode was written, performed, recorded, edited and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and, if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast on whichever platform you listen to us. Artwork by Laurie Stone. Some sound effects were obtained from: https://www.zapsplat.com
Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to recent allegations.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
The hottest new podcast is taking the world by storm: Rouge Chien.
A hot mess of alternative scenes, audience added outtakes, strange sound effects and impossible sketches that somehow feel strangely familiar.
Matt thinks it's the best thing since pre-unsliced cut bread got sliced. Is he right?
Kev's not so sure. In fact, Kev thinks something far more sinister is afoot...
Meanwhile, two phone calls converge and become trapped in a time loop shattering reality.
From this fracture, within the fabric of the known universe comes an egg; which falls to stand on top of a hill.
A mere, ten years later, it begins to crack.
But how do all these events relate? You can bet your last bread slice you'll find out on Rouge Chien.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders, with special guest star Alex Beckhelling.
Cat noir is edited by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer. Rouge Chien is edited by a dog in a box surrounded by Herons.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Who even is Geoff the Baker?
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tricia wants nothing more than a normal family and a quiet life. Life has other plans for her.
Gordon wants for his wife to be happy. But life has other plans for him too.
And now, tonight, in a small house, in a boring residential suburb, one man will battle with his inner demons for the sake of his sanity and his family.
Self belief, therapy and religion may not work, so why don't we all sing a song?
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders and guest starred Maisie Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Kelvin The Robot goes shopping, family ties are explored in "Cops on Blocks," Dale Allen looks into Road Rage and Matt and Kev return from their road trip, but have they found the Marple?
Listen in to find out the answers to these questions and more.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt "Coconut" Sanders and Kevin "Apricot" Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Coconut Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our coconut. I mean podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com and Coconuts (patient pending) supplied by Geoff the Baker.
Imagine if you will, a man calling the same number four times, expecting different results each time.
Is this the type of man you would assume will one day, run the country?
A buffoon, loon, a baboon, a cruel twisted, Babaffloon.
Isn't it more likely that this man would fail? Listen in to find out.
Whilst you are here, you may as well know it's the return of Agony Aunt and the end of Duke Render. Gulp!
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Can Matt and Kev find the missing Marple?
Can Ian save Stella from Juggy Brown?
Can Duke Render turn up on time or at least within a few miles of his target?
Can Chester the dog save Bundy and Ted from non-stop boogie-woogie?
Do the can-can can-can with Cat Noir.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Matt and Kev are on hot on the trail of their missing Marple as Stella finds her old magic doesn't work on everyone.
Duke Render finds himself off target, Dale Allen sets his sights on a prime story whilst Charlie gives Jim the run down on his neighbours.
Geoff the Baker was unable to appear in this week's episode.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
What was that? A foghorn, a chocolate advert, a werewolf, the swooping of a dragon?
Just one more thing... how many Marples make a cupboard full of Marples?
Find out the answers to these pressing questions and more by entering the World of Cat Noir.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
We're back for a second season and returning in style as we present "Too many Marples" a story within the sketch show, inside the comedy podcast.
A murder, mystery just waiting to be solved nine times over.
Meanwhile, Matt is convinced Kev has opened a café in his front room and Ian returns to the studio without Stella, and finds himself in a sticky situation.
This episode was written, performed, recorded and produced by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers.
Editing is by Gary the Trainee Sound Engineer.
Why not follow us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast and if you like what we do, please like and subscribe to our podcast.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Episode #9 is here.
Join Patrick MacNee as he fights Ogre's, dragons and applies for car insurance whilst introducing the second season of the Cat Noir Comedy Podcast.
Steed is back in the saddle; dressing gowns optional.
.
.
Sound effects obtained from https://www.zapsplat.com
Bundy and Ted have always dreamt about seeing the stars but maybe tonight they should have their telescope facing at the Earth.
Are they already here? Do they walk among us? Can we even see them?
Join two humble astrologers, two SETI scientists and a Hollywood star as they do battle to save our planet from the Shadow Pixie People.
Geoff the Baker does not feature in this week's special.
Cat Noir are Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
For Dale Allen: This is his chance to interview a cultural phenomenon.
For Lead Detective Michaels: This is his chance to finally get that promotion.
For Charlie: This is his chance to turn years of writing to his advantage.
For the unnamed policeman: It's his chance to get a line and wear a Gillet.
For years: sinister murders have taken place across the globe. All that is known about the killer is that they wear a beret and are accompanied by their own soundtrack, what the police call "The Creeping Jazz." Join us and unravel the mystery.
The Story of Creeping Jazz includes permission to use parts of "Feverish Rhythm by Rasputin" "Real Trumpet by Chockehold" and "Jazz kid reverse guitar by Johnny808" all from www.looperman.com - check it out to find free loops and samples.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
Do you need advise? Then give Aunty Mable a call.
Need a door knocker. Don't go to this shop.
Argh... stop throwing fish at me, I'm trying to write an episode summary.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
Welcome to Passport Control, if only there was an I.T system's analyser on hand on to help.
Bundy invents a machine to see the night's sky whilst we find out how hurricanes get their names.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
This is war. Herons vs Humans and Herrings. Time to rebrand.
Meanwhile Ian gets a shock, Dale has his photo taken and Stargazing Live receive a rather upsetting email.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
Dale Allen meets the sinister surgeon Dr Karlous Kennedious as the Grand Visor of the Ninth Siege of the Cult of Herons addresses his followers.
Ian and Stella talk wildlife, whilst John decides to buy his wife an Alexa. Elsewhere Kevin makes this a special episode for Matt.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
There is a Heron trapped in-between the sketches on the podcast. Someone please send help.
Meanwhile Kelvin the Robot replaces the white goods in Alfie's kitchen, Stella stands by Ian and Dale Allen uncovers some sinister surgery.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers
Kev and Matt start their podcast whilst Dale Allen makes a terrible mistake, Charlie tries his hand at horror, Danny Peaks makes an urgent call and Stella just can't get the words right.
Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to the world of Cat Noir. A comedy sketch show within a podcast.
Cat Noir is Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders. Find us @catnoirpodcast on Instagram.
Some sound effects acquired from www.zapsplat.com
Music (c) Kevin Chilvers