MY BREATHING MIND: Recent Episodes
Ruth Kao Barr
Clearing the noise and reconnecting to what matters most. We talk about inner peace, intentional living, conscious leadership, self-care, and healing in the modern world.
Introduction
Burnout isn't something we typically prevent—most of us only recognize it once we're already experiencing it. This episode explores burnout as more than temporary stress or fatigue, but as a serious cumulative condition affecting our psychological and physical wellbeing. As Christina Maslach defines it, burnout is "an erosion of the soul caused by the deterioration of one's values, dignity, spirit and will."
The Myth vs. The TruthThe common myth is that stress itself causes burnout, making us believe we simply need to eliminate stress. The truth is more nuanced—stress is often just another symptom of deeper mismatches in our lives.
The Maslach inventory identifies six key mismatches that contribute to burnout:
- Workload exceeding our capacity
- Lack of supportive community
- Conflict with our core values
- Loss of control and autonomy
- Perceived unfairness
- Insufficient reward for our efforts
The Core InsightAt its heart, burnout happens when we continue giving everything we have to something that no longer gives us what we truly need. This simple yet profound truth helps explain why many people remain stuck in burnout cycles.
Needs vs. WantsA crucial distinction in understanding burnout is separating authentic needs from conditioned wants:
Needs are essentials required to be your best self:
- Adequate sleep
- Nourishing food
- Physical movement
- Joy and meaning
- Community
- Financial stability
Wants are often externally conditioned desires:
- Specific salary numbers
- Prestigious titles
- Status symbols
Think of wants as the decorative pot, while needs are what the plant requires to thrive. Burnout occurs in the gap between what we truly need and what we've convinced ourselves we can't live without.
A Path ForwardThe truth is that recovering from burnout doesn't always require dramatic life changes. We often have more choices than we realize, and small recalibrations can restore balance.
Practical ExerciseDraw a line down the middle of a paper. On one side, list everything you truly need to be your best self (imagine yourself as a plant and what that plant needs to thrive). On the other side, list what you want or have been conditioned to want (the decorative pot).
This simple exercise helps you calculate the real exchange rate of your daily interactions. As you become aware of what genuinely nourishes you versus what merely decorates your life, you can make more intentional choices about where to invest your energy.
ConclusionBurnout isn't a personal failing—it's the inevitable result of giving everything to something that no longer provides what you truly need. By reconnecting with your authentic needs, you begin the journey back to wholeness.erything to something that no longer provides what you truly need.
Ready to transform your relationship with burnout and self-love? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
Episode SummaryThis episode tackles the visceral discomfort many high-achievers feel when confronted with the concept of "self-love." Rather than dismissing this reaction, we examine its origins and offer a perspective shift: self-love isn't about adding another task to your already full plate - it's about changing how you approach everything already on it. Discover how reframing self-love as self-trust and self-respect can transform your relationship with this essential practice.
In This Episode:* The automatic recoil many feel at the mention of "self-love" * The damaging myth that self-love isn't important enough to warrant attention * A transformative reframing: self-love as how we do everything, not what we do * A simple experiment to experience genuine self-regard without the terminology
The Challenge: The "Ick" FactorThat automatic recoil you feel when someone mentions self-love isn't random or recent - it signals something deeply rooted. For many high-achieving professionals battling stress and burnout, the concept triggers anything from mild discomfort to outright rejection.
Working with clients, I've encountered countless myths about self-love: it's flowery, self-indulgent, irresponsible, selfish, unrealistic, childish. But the most damaging myth is that it simply isn't important enough to warrant attention when there are more "concrete" skills to develop.
This resistance often stems from self-love's terrible marketing - the visuals, attitude, and stereotypical associations feel disconnected from the realities of ambitious, driven individuals who prioritize measurable achievements over emotional practices.
Key Insight: Redefining Self-LoveSelf-love has been misrepresented as something we do rather than how we do everything. When we love someone or something, it's because we trust them, respect them, and value their existence. It's not always demonstrative—often it's quiet, steady, and fundamental.
Most people I work with don't experience over-the-top affection for themselves. But when they do experience self-love, it manifests as trust in their abilities, respect for their boundaries, and valuing themselves as whole beings—not just their productive output.
The truth is we're all multifaceted. There's the part that excels at work, but also the part that gardens, creates art, or finds wonder in a sunset. Self-love means recognizing and appreciating all these facets, just as you would in someone else.
Gold Nugget:"Perhaps self-love isn't about adding something new to your already full plate, but changing the way you approach everything already on it."
This insight transforms self-love from another burdensome task into an integrative approach that enhances everything you already do. It removes the pressure to "perform" self-love and instead invites you to shift your relationship with yourself across all domains.
Practical Application: An Experiment in Self-RegardTry this simple experiment:
Bring to mind something you genuinely care about—a treasured plant, a beloved pet, a person who matters deeply. Just for today, observe yourself with that same attentive care. No judgment. Simply enjoy your own presence as you would theirs. Speak to yourself, look after yourself, and be with yourself as you would something or someone beloved.
It doesn't need to be called "self-love" if that term still doesn't sit right. Call it self-respect, self-trust, self-compassion, self-acceptance, inner harmony—or nothing at all. The label matters less than the experience of treating yourself as something worthy of care.
Reflection QuestionThink back to when you first learned that self-love was something uncomfortable or undesirable. How has that early message shaped your relationship with yourself? What might change if you approached yourself with the same consideration you give to things you genuinely value?
Ready to transform your relationship with self-love? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
Episode 88: Why Do We Struggle with Self-Compassion Despite Caring for Others?Episode SummaryIn this episode, we explore why many of us find it easier to show compassion to others than to ourselves. The key insight centers on perspective - we can see others objectively as part of their environment, but we lack that same distance when viewing ourselves. Learn how to create the perspective needed for self-compassion through a simple but powerful exercise that can transform your relationship with yourself.
In This Episode:* Why perspective makes compassion for others easier than self-compassion * How objectivity allows us to see the whole picture of someone's situation * The revolutionary nature of self-compassion in a world that profits from self-criticism * A guided exercise to experience genuine self-compassion
The Challenge: Our Closeness to OurselvesWhat many high-achieving professionals experience is the ability to extend deep compassion to others while maintaining harsh standards for themselves. We can understand the contextual factors affecting colleagues, friends, and family, yet fail to grant ourselves the same understanding.
This disparity isn't random - it stems from our inability to create distance from ourselves. While we can step back and see the full picture of someone else's challenges, we remain immersed in our own experience, hyper-focused on goals, shortcomings, or obstacles.
The result is that we often internalize critical perspectives that were originally imposed on us by others - perspectives that keep us stuck, small, and unable to access the compassion we so freely give away.
Key Insight: The Power of PerspectiveWhen we work with others, the natural distance allows us to view them objectively - as part of the system and environment that has shaped them. This perspective enables compassion almost automatically.
What I've observed in my coaching practice is that clients often experience genuine self-compassion for the first time during our sessions. Not because I'm doing anything magical, but because the coaching relationship provides that needed distance to see themselves more objectively.
This newfound perspective allows people to witness their own story with fresh eyes, appreciating the full scope of their humanity - their strengths, their tenderness, and parts of themselves they may have previously rejected.
Gold Nugget:"In a world where making you feel like you're not good enough is the currency for power, it's a quiet revolution to be self-compassionate."
This insight reveals why self-compassion feels so challenging - it's not just a personal struggle but a countercultural act. When systems profit from our self-doubt, treating ourselves with compassion becomes a form of resistance.
Practical Application: Creating DistanceTo begin experiencing self-compassion, try this simple experiment:
- Identify a situation where you feel small or inadequate and notice the specific emotion (not "bad" but shame, disappointment, anger, etc.)
- Observe the physical sensations this emotion creates in your body
- Imagine a loved one experiencing this exact same emotion
- Notice how you would be with them - your energy, presence, attitude
- Compare this to how you're currently being with yourself
- Journal about what you discover about your capacity for self-compassion
This exercise creates the perspective needed to access self-compassion by temporarily stepping outside yourself to witness your experience more objectively.
Reflection QuestionWhen you noticed the difference between how you would treat a loved one experiencing difficult emotions versus how you treat yourself, what surprised you most? What might change if you brought this awareness into your daily life?
Ready to transform your relationship with self-compassion? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
Episode SummaryWhere did you learn to love yourself? For most of us, this question is surprisingly difficult to answer. In this episode, we explore how our earliest experiences shape our capacity for self-love, the myth that self-love reflects our worthiness, and why our ability to care for ourselves has everything to do with what we learned and nothing to do with how lovable we are. Discover how to recognize and revise your internal blueprint for self-care through a simple five-minute experiment.
In This Episode:* The mystery of where we learn self-love * The myth about what self-love reflects about us * How childhood experiences create our self-care blueprint * The power of adult agency to revise this blueprint * A five-minute experiment to understand your patterns
The Hidden Origins of Self-LoveHave you ever wondered why some people seem to naturally look after themselves - they protect their boundaries, speak kindly to themselves, and make choices that honor their wellbeing? Meanwhile, others repeatedly put themselves last, speak to themselves with harsh criticism, or regularly end up in situations that don't serve them?
It's not random, and it's not about who's "better" at life. It's about what we learned early on.
The Myth: Self-Love Reflects Your WorthinessThe prevailing myth is that your ability to love yourself reflects how lovable and worthy you are. This couldn't be further from the truth. Your capacity for self-love has nothing to do with your inherent worthiness.
We're all born with the innate wisdom to self-love. Just look at how a baby will unhesitatingly let you know when they're hungry, need changing, or feel uncomfortable or scared. We are born with natural instincts to self-care and self-advocate.
But like all animals, we learn and adapt through our experiences.
How We Learn (or Unlearn) Self-LoveFor most of us, our first decade is largely shaped by our primary caregivers. These become our primary data points during our developmental years: how our caregivers treated us, how they spoke to us, what they prioritized, what they dismissed, what they allowed, what they prohibited - not only toward us but for themselves as well.
If you had caregivers who consistently honored your feelings, who taught you your needs mattered, who protected you from harm and disrespect, and treated themselves in the same way - you likely absorbed the message that you required care and protection. It wasn't even a character judgment of whether you were worthy or deserved care, but an objective understanding that, like any living being, you had specific requirements to thrive.
But many of us received different or conflicting messages:
- Perhaps you learned that you had to work and prove you deserved good things or rest because that's how your caregiver treated themselves.
- Maybe you learned that no matter what you did, it was never enough - not because you weren't lovable, but because your caregiver was wrestling with their own adult issues.
- Maybe you discovered that what you needed didn't really matter because securing your caregiver's good mood determined how your day would unfold. So you prioritized their needs above yours - a pattern that might still play out in your adult relationships.
- Some of us learned that being in unsafe situations was just normal. That it's acceptable when people speak negatively toward us or disrespect us.
- Or that life is about proving yourself and pushing yourself relentlessly into uncomfortable situations, even when you're unsupported, under-resourced, or simply not ready.
These weren't conscious lessons. They were absorbed through daily experiences that slowly, invisibly shaped our internal blueprint for how we should treat ourselves.
The Truth: You Can Revise Your BlueprintHere's the liberating truth: while we didn't choose our original blueprint for self-love and self-care, we absolutely can choose to revise it. That's the beauty of adult agency and free will.
The relationship you have with yourself is just that - a relationship. And like any relationship, it can be reconsidered and nourished for growth.
This is where free will enters the picture. The patterns may feel deeply ingrained - almost like they're part of your identity. But they're learned behaviors. And what's learned can be relearned.
A Different PerspectiveOften it's challenging to objectively assess our relationship with ourselves. We're too close to it - it's hard to comment when we're within the bubble.
Here's a perspective shift that helps: imagine you're responsible for caring for another person - someone you genuinely want the best for. This can be a child, a friend, or a loved one. Then look at how you currently treat yourself.
Would you allow someone under your care to be spoken to the way you speak to yourself? Would you permit others to treat them the way you allow people to treat you? Would you want this person to constantly sacrifice their needs, purpose, rest, or wellbeing for others?
When we create this distance, the answers often become startlingly clear. Patterns we've normalized for ourselves suddenly look unacceptable when applied to someone we're responsible for protecting.
The Tiny Experiment: Tracing Your BlueprintHere's a tiny experiment if you're up for it. It takes just five minutes.
Find a quiet moment and ask yourself these three questions. Don't overthink them - just notice what immediately comes up:
- Growing up, how did I know that my needs mattered?
- What did I learn about what I needed to do to receive care or attention?
- What's one way I treat myself now that reflects those early lessons?
Write down your answers. This simple act of awareness is the first step toward choice. We can't choose differently until we see clearly what we're currently doing and why.
Gold Nugget Insight"The relationship you have with yourself is just that - a relationship. And like any relationship, it can be reconsidered and nourished for growth."
This insight helps us see that our patterns of self-care aren't fixed traits but learned behaviors that can be reshaped with intention and practice.
Closing ThoughtsRecognizing where your self-love blueprint came from isn't about blaming anyone. Our caregivers were working with their own inherited blueprints, doing the best they could with what they had.
This exploration is about understanding, not judgment. Understanding gives us the power to make conscious choices about how we want to relate to ourselves going forward.
Try to observe the way you treat yourself with curiosity rather than criticism. You're catching glimpses of an old blueprint - one that you have every right to revise.
Ready to transform your relationship with self-care? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
Episode SummaryIn this episode, we explore how we've been taught to treat our souls like companies that need constant optimization and productivity. This mindset leads to "overfunctioning" - taking on excessive responsibility and deriving our worth from productivity. I share why this approach contradicts our natural human rhythms, the toll it takes on our wellbeing, and a simple experiment to help you find peace beyond productivity.
In This Episode:* The myth: Your soul is a company to be optimized * The truth: Natural systems offer a different model * Overfunctioning vs. natural cycles * A tiny experiment to reconnect with your humanity * How to trade productivity obsession for peace
The Myth: Your Soul is a Company to be OptimizedMany of us have internalized corporate thinking into our personal lives. We apply business concepts like "productivity hacks," "quarterly goals," and "optimization" to our sleep, relationships, and personal growth. This mentality emerged from 20th century management theories designed to maximize manufacturing output by treating workers as interchangeable parts of a machine.
What's fascinating is how we've become our own harsh managers, pushing ourselves to perform without regard for our human needs and natural rhythms. In psychology, this is called "overfunctioning" - taking on excessive responsibility, doing more than your fair share, and deriving your worth from productivity and problem-solving.
The overfunctioner constantly scans for what needs fixing, optimizing, or managing - exactly like a manager might do for their company. But here's the problem: you're not a company. You're a living, breathing human being.
The Truth: Nature Offers a Different ModelIn what natural system does anything healthy experience exponential growth? The forest cycles through seasons of vibrant growth and necessary decay. The female body moves through monthly rhythms of build-up and release. The tides rise and retreat daily. Each phase serves a purpose, and no phase is more "important" than another - each is essential to the whole.
Here's an unsettling thought for those who idealize constant growth - cancer is one of the few phenomena in nature that grows exponentially without boundaries. It doesn't listen to the body's natural rhythms. It overtakes, consumes, and destroys.
While companies chase exponential curves, our lives actually move in spirals. We revisit old territories with new understanding. We cycle through periods of expansion and contraction, integration and release. Our wisdom accumulates not through constant acceleration but through rhythmic engagement with our inner and outer worlds.
Unlike companies, a rich human experience isn't efficient. The experiences that deeply satisfy us - learning, wisdom, love, friendship, trust - are laborious, circuitous, time-consuming, and there are no shortcuts.
The Tiny Experiment: Are You Treating Yourself Like a Machine?For just one day, pause occasionally and ask yourself: "Am I looking after myself as I would a living, sentient being, or am I driving myself to perform, optimize, and 'go' at all costs like a machine?"
Notice when you're pushing through fatigue instead of resting. Notice when you're treating emotions as inconvenient disruptions to productivity. Notice what you're measuring as your day's worth.
This simple act of zooming out can create a profound shift in awareness. It helps you catch those moments when you're slipping into overfunctioning mode - when you're treating your human life like a company to be managed rather than a journey to be experienced.
When you notice it happening, try something radical: Choose the response that honors your humanity. Maybe that's taking a break when you're tired instead of reaching for more coffee. Maybe it's letting yourself feel disappointed instead of immediately problem-solving. Maybe it's celebrating the connections you made today rather than just the tasks you completed.
Gold Nugget Insight"Cancer is one of the rare phenomena in nature that grows exponentially without boundaries. While companies might chase exponential curves, our lives actually move in spirals."
This powerful comparison invites us to question our cultural fixation on constant growth and productivity. When we treat ourselves like machines, we go against our natural rhythms and cycles, ultimately leading to depletion rather than peace.
Closing ThoughtsThe path to peace isn't through perfect optimization. It's through remembering that you are not a machine or a company - you're a human being with natural cycles of energy, creativity, and rest.
Overfunctioning isn't sustainable because it goes against our very nature. It's not a matter of willpower but a reality of trying to force an industrialized model of productivity onto beings that weren't designed for it.
Self-love is protecting your humanity in a world that often treats it as an inconvenience. It's remembering that your worth isn't tied to your output. It's honoring the full spectrum of your experience - the productive days and the slower ones, the insights and the questions, the growth and the necessary decay.
Ready to transform your relationship with self-love? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
In this episode, we dive into something that impacts everyone's lives: stress. Over the years, I've realized that part of fostering self-love is knowing the difference between helpful and harmful stress, especially given our contradictory cultural messaging around performance.
In this episode:
- The myth that all stress is essentially the same
- How beneficial stress (eustress) differs fundamentally from harmful stress (distress)
- Four qualities that make stress actually helpful rather than harmful
- A perspective shift to recognize whether you're placing yourself in growth-promoting or depleting situations
The stress of dysfunctional relationships isn't the same as learning a new piece of music. The stress of a toxic workplace isn't the same as strength training. Beneficial stress actually strengthens us - physically, mentally, and emotionally - while harmful stress depletes us.
What makes helpful stress actually helpful? It's at an intensity we can handle, it's controlled, it promotes growth, and we have adequate time to recover afterward. Contrast that with harmful stress, which exceeds our capacity, is relentless, weakens us, and offers no recovery time.
This episode offers a clear framework for distinguishing between the fire that forges and the fire that burns, helping you make choices that foster genuine wellbeing and growth.
Ready to transform your relationship with stress? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
Think of a trait that you don't like about yourself - something deemed "bad," too vulnerable to show, or not accepted by others. We all have these parts, and we've learned to cast them out, repress them, or tuck them away in the shadows.
In this episode:
- Why rejecting parts of ourselves creates inner division
- How shadow work isn't about eliminating darkness but understanding its role
- The perspective that "negative" traits are actually intelligent adaptations
- A simple practice to explore the wisdom your shadows may hold
Just as winter isn't a flaw in the year's design, even though the cold is uncomfortable, our shadow traits serve important purposes. Shadow work isn't about eliminating darkness but understanding its role in our complete self.
What if the traits that we find less desirable within ourselves are less character flaws but rather adaptations to the environments we've weathered? Like a plant bending toward light, our shadows emerged as survival strategies - anger becoming a guardian, attention-seeking behaviors preventing invisibility, shyness protecting from harsh judgment.
Join me in this exploration of wholeness, where we learn to see all parts of ourselves - the dormancy and growth, the light and shadow - as essential components of who we are.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
We live in an over-consumption culture where the modern human seems caught in an endless cycle of wanting more - whether it's shopping, social media, information, food, or experiences. But what drives this constant hunger?
In this episode:
- The underlying belief that we don't have enough
- How physical hunger differs from emotional, mental, and spiritual hunger
- Why we use substitutes that can't truly satisfy our deeper needs
- A simple practice to identify what you're really craving when reaching for comfort
Overconsumption isn't the problem but a symptom of something deeper. When we consume beyond what we physically need, we're attempting to fill a void - using food for emotional comfort, scrolling for connection, or shopping for a sense of worth.
The pattern extends beyond food to entertainment, information, goods, and even experiences. While being alive requires consumption, nature strives for balance. Overconsumption tilts this balance, creating disorder in both individual and collective wellbeing.
Join me in exploring how to recognize what your hunger really craves, and discover pathways to genuine satisfaction rather than temporary relief.
Listeners will gain perspective on breaking free from the cycle of overconsumption and finding authentic satisfaction beyond material accumulation.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
The episode challenges the very concept of "executive presence," predicting its eventual demise in the corporate lexicon. Why do leaders covet it and managers attempt to teach it when most struggle to define it? The answer lies in our tendency to focus on the external manifestations rather than the internal foundation.
Rather than offering formulaic advice on body language or vocal techniques, this episode provides a refreshing perspective on developing genuine confidence that resonates in any setting—whether in the boardroom or beyond. Listeners will walk away with actionable insights on cultivating self-trust that manifests as natural, authentic presence.
The word "confidence" comes from Latin - "con" (with) and "fidere" (trust). Self-confidence, at its core, means self-trust. Yet in corporate settings, we've twisted this into something performative, focusing on outward appearance rather than inner trust.
In this episode:
- Why "executive presence" will soon join our museum of cringe-worthy corporate speak
- How authentic presence stems from genuine self-trust rather than performance
- The comparison between stage presence and executive presence
- Three principles for building self-trust that translates into natural confidence
We've all seen someone attempting to perform confidence - speaking too loudly, using buzzwords, gesticulating awkwardly. We cringe because it's inauthentic. Just as we can spot an impersonator on stage, we can sense when someone's confidence isn't coming from within.
True executive presence can't be photocopied; it must be cultivated from within. When the individual engages naturally, their presence feels genuine because they're not trying to manufacture it, it's effortlessly exuding from within.
Learn how to build inner confidence the same way you would any trusting relationship - through honesty, reliability, and self-compassion - and discover how to bring these qualities into your professional life.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
We're kicking off Season 9 and peeling back the layers of self-love beyond the social media-worthy indulgence and pampering.
Throughout my coaching practice, I've noticed a common thread weaving through clients' distress - the reluctance to acknowledge their basic needs. In this first episode of our self-love season, we explore why having needs doesn't make you needy.
In this episode:
- Why many of us struggle to identify and meet our own needs
- How natural self-prioritization gets conditioned out of us
- The plant metaphor: why we wouldn't judge plants for needing specific conditions
- A simple experiment to identify your personal requirements for thriving
We've been socialized to believe having needs equals being needy - so we've learned to operate without them. But this suspension of disbelief has distressing side effects: shame, guilt, resentment, and burnout that erode our best intentions.
When we look to the natural world, we see that all living things have specific requirements to flourish. We would never withhold essentials from plants and animals and expect them to thrive. We were born understanding this - no infant comes into the world without self-advocacy. But somewhere along the way, through upbringing and social conditioning, we collected experiences that changed our beliefs.
Join me in this exploration of reclaiming the wisdom of your own nature and learning to honor what you need to truly flourish.
Ready to transform your relationship with self-love? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.
My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.
A myth, a block, and a shift to owning and managing your time so can do your best work and live your best life.
A myth, a block, and shift to better understanding how best to use comparison as a tool to serve your purpose
Exploring a myth, a block, and a shift to figuring it out so you can take your next step.
When there isn't a clear answer for you, do you continue to look for what's meaningful or do you find meaning in what you're already doing?
Knowing what would make you happy and a myth, a block and shift toward experiencing more richness in life, based on your own definition that satisfies your core.
Is the search for purpose and meaning a first-world problem? We're covering a myth, a block, and a shift to embrace this gift and privilege to pursue purpose.
The term self-awareness has been co-opted by corporate speak as a means to increase productivity and profit. You are greater than your shortcomings and self-awareness is more expansive than knowing what you need to improve to progress in your career.
(Hope you enjoyed the last 10 episodes where we explored topics related to doing your best work. As usual, we're taking a break in between Seasons for a few weeks, before we start Season 8. Have a wonderful rest of the year and see you in 2024!)
You don't have to know your "true purpose" in order to live a meaningful life. The opposite is also true, just because you can name your calling, doesn't mean you're experiencing purpose.
Most of us intuitively know clarity is essential when working with others. However, many of us continue to find ourselves in misaligned situations. In this episode, we talk about one misconception, one block, and one shift that can create more alignment.
How to stay present rather than get hijacked by our emotions. One misconception and strategy that can improve our emotional regulation.
Strategy guides you to your destination. But what happens when you're too busy putting out fires and tackling the never-ending to-do list to ever get to your strategy?
What makes us rigid versus adaptable has to do with what we prioritize. What we prioritize becomes our strategy - either intentionally or unconsciously.
Talking about the misconception, the block, and something to experiment with that will build your resilience.
The misconception, the block, and one thing to experiment with, to adopt a growth mindset that liberates you from the conventional and truly innovative.
Have a mind a race car and the brakes of a bicycle? We talk about one misconception about focus, what continues to block your focus, and one thing to shift your experience.
We're dedicating Season 7 of the podcast to exploring behaviors that allow us to do our best work. Kicking off with the topic of productivity - why hacking productivity is short-sighted and how conscious productivity is more powerful and sustainable. we're talking about one of its biggest misconceptions, a block that prevents us from moving forward, and one shift that drives us to action.
On the other side of burnout can exist wisdom, which allows you to shine even brighter. But getting to the other side takes courage.
We want you to win - not your to-do list. An effective way to use a to-do list to improve your life, not to drive your life.
We're talking about the underlying mental and emotional blocks that can lead us into or keep us in environmental mismatches that create burnout.
We talk about the sixth and final mismatch that leads to burnout: reward. The effects of external vs. internal rewards. Signs of recharge vs depletion.
Unfair situations create deep distress that can lead to burnout, be it at work, in relationships, or at home. How to recognize signs of unfairness and the first step to creating more balance.
Part of what makes burnout so intolerable is that we lose ourselves in the process. We lose ourselves when we lose our autonomy. our choice. our authenticity, our unique style. Our individual preferences. Our voice. Our power.
Clarify your values and elevate your energy, motivation, and well-being - no matter what situation you’re in right now.
One of the factors that create burnout according to research is a lack of social support. However, not all relationships are created equal. Differentiate relationships that create versus curb burnout.
The stress equation and the tipping point that turns a healthy dose of stress into painful burnout.
The real reason why you're burnt out (or on your way to burnout) is not what you think it is. We are dedicating Season 6 to exploring the root causes of burnout, including the 6 environmental mismatches, underlying mental blocks, and other factors. Kicking off the season with the most common root cause of burnout that hardly anyone talks about that's creating unnecessary stress.
Play with these 4 ideas to incorporate your whole brain to experience more flow (especially when you're stuck).
Instead of efforting through with little progress, play with these three concepts to flow more with less effort.
What does it look like to follow the energy of each season? What are the different types of "seasons" that affect our energy and flow? What season are you currently experiencing?
Three practices to shift you from being in a funk to being in flow. We answer the question: do you have to be in a good mood to tap into flow?
As humans, we like certainty. But for many important life decisions, there's no such thing as a guarantee. We're talking about navigating in the frightening space of not knowing.
We're talking about why leaders, artists, and individuals seeking healing adopt the powerful practice of journaling.
Ample research shows experiencing states of flow or being in the zone is critical for leadership and well-being. But how do you create space for flow when your day's already full?
If you've ever wondered why you're still dissatisfied or stressed even though you're living according to your values, this episode is for you.
To kick off season 5, we're talking about the root cause of why we procrastinate (it has nothing to do with the task itself), and how to find our focus.
To kick off season 5, we're talking about the root cause of why we procrastinate (it has nothing to do with the task itself), and how to find our focus.
We talk about what happens when your dream job is no longer the dream, sitting in the discomfort of the space between your current reality and your truth, and allowing space to reflect and process to create a path forward.
We discuss what personal truth feels like in the body, living an unconventional path, and trust, courage, and faith in the unknown.
We discuss redefining success, early programming, boundaries for sharing, and the healing properties of living your truth.
Being true to yourself as well as at work can build your reputation and career path. We discuss purpose, core beliefs, perfectionism, and burnout with the attorney population that she serves.
We discuss what blocks your truth and ways to reconnect and see your truth with clarity.
We discuss the importance of being able to spot your truth, the different types of truths, why you neglect your truth, and how to know when something's true for you.
We explore why we stop telling our truth, the power of truth-telling, and a compassionate approach to expressing one's truth.
Reconnect with your truth by auditing these 3 areas, and close the gap between your truth and your actions.
When the noise around you is dialed up, you can feel confused and unsure about your next step. Ask yourself these 3 questions to help you connect with your inner guidance.
What we're getting wrong about self-compassion - what it isn't, what it is, and how to do it simply.
A life coach is a loaded term that means different things to different people. I'm demystifying the role of a life coach - what value they can bring, how to pick one, and who to stay away from.
3 principles to set authentic and effective boundaries for self-care for empaths and people who sense and feel a lot.
Most of us are bad at feelings because most of us weren't taught what feelings really are, their purpose, and what to do with them. Understanding our feelings empowers us to have more control over our decisions and actions.
We're talking about the lies in our lives and the possibilities that can open up by telling ourselves the truth.
Perfectionism is an outdated strategy that no longer serves you that keeps you stuck. The sooner you're able to see this, the sooner you're released from the perfectionism trap.
What if self-care isn't another thing on your to-do list that you don't get to? What would change for you if self-care is how you do everything?
What makes one person bounce back from setbacks and another spiral and lose focus? It's these 5 drivers that build resilience.
Healthy productivity helps us; toxic productivity breaks us down. If you're experiencing the opposite of thriving while being productive, you might not be aware of the natural cycles in nature that help with your productivity.
Heading into the gifting season armed with 2 questions to shop without guilt. Use your shopping power to amplify the good.
Do this one thing to create a productive relationship when working with difficult bosses.
Intentional eating gave me more energy, better physical health, improved moods & increased mental clarity. We also talk about the 4 most harmful foods to avoid for mental & physical wellbeing.
Adopt this one calendar habit to change your life & use these 5 calendar tips to improve your productivity.
What do you think is the difference between leaders who make the world better versus leaders that create more problems? The answer is this one simple inner state of the leader. In this episode, we talk about applying 5 principles of conscious leadership to create a better world - even if you don't lead a team!
We all know self-care is important. But what do we do when there seems to be a block between knowing something and doing something? We’re talking about how to self-care when we don’t know where to start or when we don't want to.
Why do we have stressful thoughts at night & 5 things that you wouldn't think to do to alleviate them and have a peaceful night's sleep.
Think you have boundary issues, but don't know where to start to fix it? Simply only focus on this 1 thing to begin setting and respecting boundaries.
Kicking off Season 2 talking about intentional living - what it means, the benefits, and the first steps to creating an intentional life.
To wrap up Season 1, we're talking about the power of a tiny word can create more spaciousness to breathe, loosen the grip on unhelpful thoughts, and relax the heart and body.
Do you live in a competitive world? Do you feel like other people's success deflate you? We're talking about how to be happy for others, instead of feeling defensive about other people’s achievements. Specifically, the 3 mindset shifts that can help us find peace when the green-eyed monster appears.
What is it? Why we don’t practice it? How we conflate it with things like self-pity, self-indulgence, or being undisciplined. 5 simple ways to begin practicing self-compassion today to experience more peace.
Creating 4 types of spaces to guide you through a job transition. We talk about grief & re-defining your identity that comes with job loss.
What are the signs of trust issues? The difference between distrust of others vs. lack of self-trust? Where do trust issues come from? And 6 ways to find peace through it all.
If you’ve ever procrastinated, “cheated” on a diet, or “ruined” a good thing in a relationship, you know about self-sabotage. I talk about 4 reasons why you self-sabotage, and none of it makes you a bad person.
I share my personal experience of burnout, what research says about the causes of burnout, and 5 ways to heal and recover from burnout.
3 common reasons that drive imposter syndrome. The harm it causes. And ways to create more ease and peace if you’re experiencing imposter syndrome right now.
5 reasons that people don’t usually talk about when it comes to why our mind stresses us out and the 5 ways to begin to ease our mind.
In our first ever episode, I’m talking about YOU - your most precious asset, and reconnecting with what matters most to YOU. Also what you can look forward to in future episodes.