Bumperpodcast Archives - Natty Bumpercar: Recent Episodes
Natty Bumpercar
Natty Bumpercar writes some stuff about some things. Other times - he ends up drawing a little but of this or that.
Episode 478: SandWhat starts as a simple question about a toaster on the kitchen counter-island somehow becomes a sprawling, gloriously unhinged meditation on sand, etymology, Iceland vs. Ireland vs. Greenland, podcast trust, and the limits of human knowledge. Classic Bumpercar chaos.
Key Topics Discussed* The mysterious toaster found on the kitchen “island” * The origin of the word “island” — a sailor’s garbled cry of “his land”? * Iceland, Ireland, and Greenland: which is which, and does anyone actually know? * The all-hands meeting where the crew agreed to never state facts again * Sand: why is it everywhere? Beaches, deserts, forests, lake edges — what’s going on? * The Producer’s secret power to mute microphones mid-sentence * Rufus T. Rufus pitching a very different episode title
Characters & Voices Natty Bumpercar — Host, conversation starter, island enthusiast * Rufus T. Rufus — Opinionated co-conversationalist, self-proclaimed Sand Investigation pioneer * Producer — Chimes in, fact-checks (sort of), and apparently controls the mute button * A Frog* — Offers a swamp-based perspective on the presence of sand near lakes
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Natty shares his painful and hilarious journey through getting shingles, complete with couch accidents, awkward doctor visits, and horse-sized pills. Plus, he’s now officially an Olympic athlete (thanks to cupping)!You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!Natty Bumpercar: So, here's the thing. I feel like I start the podcast with saying, so here's the thing, a lot. Should we change it to, so here's the thing, with net, no, we've got too many episodes. Problem is, I'm so busy, I haven't been to the studio in at least seven years, maybe 12 years or something. So now I'm stuck recording on this makeshift, talking to my phone, which is going to my ear, which is going to the computer, and it's wacky and I'm all by myself and I'm in a car. So if you're wondering, why haven't you been pumping out episodes? That's why. Because this is weird. Oh, hi, there's a person watching me. I'm on a phone. I'm just pretending I'm on the phone. Yeah. I'm on a call. Stop looking. Why are you still looking? Oh, they're still looking. I'm going to look down. I'm going to break eye contact. I can't maintain eye, they're gone. Okay. Hey, it's me, Natty Bumpercart, and that was me moving my phone. So where have I been? Well, I think I told you that in January I got banana sick, like flu, pneumonia, hospital, all this stuff. And evidently that messed up my immune system. And so then about a month and a half ago, I got something called, are you ready for this? It's a blast. I highly don't recommend it. Shingles. Yeah, I got shingles. I mean, I'm allergic to oranges, so I am legitimately scared that I'm going to get scurvy. And I haven't looked into what rickets are, but I mean, I feel like with scurvy and shingles, you know, maybe scabies, I don't know what that is. I'm going backwards in diseases. So it's fun. How do you get shingles, Natty? Well, aren't you vaccinated? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Two vaccines and not pleasant vaccines, like knock you on your bottom kind of vaccines. And so when I went to the doctor, oh, and how did that happen? Is there a funny story there? Sure. For a few days, my left side, my shoulder and chest was hurting. Was I having a heart attack? No, no. I just figured I'd pulled a muscle. And so I just was soldiering on. And then I was carrying a part of a outdoor couch thing to the backyard and over my head. And I stepped in a hole with my right leg, thought I broke my ankle because everything went quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. And then I fell and then the couch landed on top of me. And I was like, I'm about done. I think this is it for me. I don't know. I'm good. And Emerson was freaking out. Are you OK? And I just kind of I wasn't opening my eyes and I just said, please leave me. I can't move. I just want to be here, which sounds like giving up. But it really was just me trying to combobulate myself, recombobulate. I know there's a discombobulate, so I'm assuming that there must be just a baseline of combobulation. I was trying to get myself back into combobulation. So while I was doing that, he ran inside, got my wife. She came out, yells, what's happening? What are you on the ground for? And they managed to pull me up. And I was sore. I was frustrated and limping a bit. And I said, I'm just going to go take a shower and I'm going to sit there in the hot water and it's going to make me feel better. So up I went. And when I went to take a shower, and I don't this is maybe a little too personal and I apologize, but I was taking my shirt off to get into the shower. And lo and behold, I'm covered in spots on my left side. And it's a band that goes from the middle of my front chest, like the sternum thing, all the way around to my back. And I'd never seen those before. And I was like, huh, well, this is strange. So then I showed my wife and she was like, maybe when you were, you know, working in the yard, maybe, you know, you got bit by something or you got poison ivy or, you know, just throwing stuff out there. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Do they itch? No. Do they hurt? No. Okay, well, just all right, let's let's monitor the situation. Let's keep an eye on it. Okay, I can do I can do that. So the next day, Monday morning, I was going to go into my favorite booth at Panera and have a wonderful cup of tea, probably my first of three teas of the day. And before I could go inside, I was just sitting there ravaged with pain, like can't even explain to you how much pain I was in. And I thought, okay, urgent care is right there. I'll pop in. I haven't been there in, you know, a month. I got to get my urgent care punch card checked every so often. And so I went in first one in for the week. Good for me. And, you know, they ask you everything and you fill out everything and then you go back to the room and the person asks you all the questions and which all the questions, all the answers, they're on the computer in front of them because I've been there before. I've answered these very same questions. I want to say dozens without any exaggeration of times. And so when they're like, well, are we are we taking any medications? And I'm like, I don't know. It's on screen. Well, when are you taking them? I don't know. Just something, something, something, something, something, something. And so then I have to look it up on my phone. I have to look over here. I have to look over there. And here's all the information. And then 20 minutes later, the doctor comes in and says, so what's going on? I start trying to describe stuff. And while I'm talking, she walks over, kind of lifts my shirt up and goes, oh, you've got shingles. And I didn't mean to do this, I, I, but I was just like, I don't like you. That's what I said. And she just kind of blurted out of my mouth and her eyes kind of got big. And I was like, I, I didn't mean it. I just, I don't want to have shingles. What is shingles? And you know, all through the rest of the visit was me trying to apologize for saying I didn't like this person, which is always comfortable. And you know, he was trying to describe, uh, what shingles are, what they come from. And I still have no idea. And people have been asking me questions ever since it happened, you know, like, oh, isn't that related to chicken pox? Yeah, I think. Did you get a chicken pox when you were a kid? I don't know. Did you get a chicken pox vaccine? I don't know. Is that something that exists? Was I supposed to get it? What did you get? The shingles vaccine? Yes. Two. There were two. I got part A and part B, part one, part two. I got part one and then the sequel. And they were like, well, how did you get it? And then the doctor, I don't know. It's they said it's stress related. And I said, I'm not stressed. There's no stress in my life running the Montclair Comedy Festival Spring Fling, five shows in one day, not stressful at all. And you know, a myriad of other life bits like not being able to record my podcast when I want to. And so now having to sit in a car and record, which is weird to me. But it was good. I had vaccinated, been vaccinated. I got the medicine and they said, well, you're in luck. This should be not a terrible, I forgot what they called it, not explosion, not exposition, not inquisition. I don't know. It should be it shouldn't be a terrible instance. That's not the word of shingles because you proactively were vaccinated and you now have the medicine and it's lasting for 10 days. And the pills, the medicine pills were the biggest pills I've ever seen. Like just as an example, I went by a barn where this horse that I know lives and I showed him the pill and he was like, no way, bro. And I was like, come on, bro. And he was like, no way, bro. I was like, bro, bro. And we kind of went back and forth like that for a while. But I managed to work through it. And now I'm just still not better. I mean, the spots are pretty much gone. I'm not contagious. That's a bonus. I can be in public and not have fear of infecting people with my shingles. Shingles? Why are they like shingles? What a weird name. And and and I was talking to people, they were like, oh, you could have it for a year. What if it gets on your face? You could go blind. And I was like, I don't want to hear any of those things. Keep those things to yourself. Mine is on my on my chest to my back. I don't want to hear about it get into my eyes. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. And, you know, I had to have special soaps and I couldn't take hot showers. I had to take lukewarm showers, which who enjoys that? Not even Luke enjoys lukewarm showers. They're just miserable. Like some people like, oh, I'll do a cold shower. It'll wake me up. It'll get the blood moving. And those people are, I don't know, bananas. And then there's people who like hot showers, which I find myself to be part of because they're nice. Oh, but they're going to dry your skin out. I don't care. It's warm. My house is cold. The shower is warm. I'll hang out in the shower. Right. But when you get out, it's going to be cold. I can't worry about that now. I'm going to worry about the nice warm shower and then I'll deal with the cold consequences and the dry skin consequences later. Okay. Yeah. All risks, no reward. I don't know how that works. So anyway, spots are gone. Hooray. Pain, still around. Boo. Got acupuncture, which is a blast. And while I was there, she said, did you want me to cup your back? And I was like, yes, because all I know about cupping is that Olympic athletes do it. And so as far as I can figure, and I don't know all of the criteria, I don't know all the protocols, the rules or whatever. But from what I have gathered from what she did by cupping me, I am officially now an Olympic athlete.
The Bumperpodcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumper Car. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumper Car. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
The post Bumperpodcast #472 – Season 3 – Shingles appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
ROBOT does something helpful?!You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!The post Bumperpodcast #471 – Season 3 – ROBOT helps! appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All EpisodesNatty Bumpercar: Well, hello there everybody, it's me, uh, already, oh, hey, monster, how's it going? I'm so, you sound so sad, what's going on?
Monster: Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, monster, what's going on? You sound, you sound, you sound, you sound, you sound Whoa, are you okay, pig?
Pig: What's going on with me today? I was like trying to get my pig engine started
Natty Bumpercar: No, I think, did, did everybody just wake up? I feel like everybody might have just woken up Because that's how everyone sounds right now
Producer: Hello, everybody, oh, I'm just, oh, are we recording an episode right now? I just thought it was nap time, I looked at the calendar and it says everybody should be taking a nap right now But now I look, oh, hello, monster, how are you doing?
Monster: Whoa, is it really all that bad?
Natty Bumpercar: Hello there, monster, I heard you from the other side of the room over there
Rufus T. Firefly: It sounds like you're in a great state of distress Now, should I, what's going on? Should we be having a conversation? Should we, do you want, do you need legal representation?
Monster: No
Rufus T. Firefly: Or, or, or what?
Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, just because somebody's having a rough time does not mean that they necessarily need a lawyer or legal representation Maybe, so, monster, what is, what is happening? What's going on?
Pig: Just really quickly, though, before we jump into that, am I allowed to go back to sleep? Or are we going to record? What's the plan here?
Natty Bumpercar: We should be, I should stay, okay, I should stay awake Yes, just stay awake
Pig: Okay, I heard you, heard
Natty Bumpercar: Just stay awake
Pig: Got you, okay
Natty Bumpercar: Okay, okay, thank you
Monster: Now, monster, what is going on?
Natty Bumpercar: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Rufus T. Firefly: Yep, I, okay, I completely, I completely understand
Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second, if I may
Monster: So, I didn't realize that, should I close the place down?
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah
Monster: When did that happen?
Rufus T. Firefly: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Yes, sorry, thank you, monster, but really quick, Nappy, I get, I'm so sorry to interrupt again
Producer: I have to ask, are we going to be doing some sort of, um, um, um, transcriptions or some subtitles?
Natty Bumpercar: Do they, they don't even know, do they, do they do subtitles in, uh, the, the, the podcast?
Rufus T. Firefly: Cause I don't, I don't know if everyone's going to understand, monster, I mean, I do, clearly, but, you know, I understand why you're upset as well Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
Producer: Yeah, no, I agree, uh, monster, I'm here with you, I agree, producer, it was a good point, and monster, I don't think he was trying to upset you necessarily I think it's just because he's the producer of the podcast, and the podcast, you know, podcast, with podcast
Natty Bumpercar: It's actually in my name, it's producer, so I'm producing, and that was just an example of me producing, you see, it's like a thing, an issue Yep, yep, yep And I fixed it, I tried to, and I don't know if I actually did
Monster: Yeah, I don't know if you actually did either, um, well, monster, I, just so everyone knows, monster, I'll just translate, cause I don't know if trans, I don't know how that would work
Natty Bumpercar: Um, so there was a sandwich shop that monster used to go to, and he went there today, and the sandwich shop is now gone, and it's an entirely new business that just serves boba, is what I understand
Monster: Yeah, I don't know, I don't, okay, so explain to me, so it's not even like boba tea, it's not even like, you know, the drinks, or the, oh look, here's some mango, here's some boba, or whatever, it's just all these salads, the little circles, the little things, they come in a bowl? How do you get them?
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, okay, so Sorry, yeah, I can't stand that either, like, if I'm, just, listen, I love that places give samples, but don't make me feel guilty when you're trying to give me a sample, like, I don't, if I, if I want to come over and get a sample, I see that you have a tray, I know what's on the tray, that there's something that you're trying to give me a sample of that
Rufus T. Firefly: But if, don't, don't yell at me across the street, and, you know, Monster, I get it, you went there to a sandwich shop thinking you were going to a sandwich shop, and then all of a sudden you're assaulted by this person who's trying to force samples of, of boba, did it have, were there like flavors, or, and, is it, how do they serve it, just the little, those little ball things, like, it's not even Hold on How does that work?
Natty Bumpercar: We gotta, actually, we gotta say nice things about, this is a new business that's here in the Compton County, it's called
Aloysious J. Pig: BBSMB, BBSMB, that's the initials, you know how they like to do like initials, and so it's called Boba, Boba, some more Boba, alright, BBSMB, Boba, Boba, some more Boba, yeah And I've been talking to them, there's a nice little family shop there, and I might be getting them to come on and sponsor the podcast
Natty Bumpercar: So I, uh, I'm broke You're okay Rufus, good on you for going out and getting new clients, potentially for the podcast But maybe now's not the time to start bringing up that we might be financially entangled with the people who have taken away
Monster: Monster's favorite sandwich shop while he's in studio and obviously upset about things
Aloysious J. Pig: Very upset about things, and understandably so, again, Monster And agreeing with Aloysius, Rufus, maybe just, maybe we can talk about that later Number one Number two Uh, we, really? A sponsor? We've never had a sponsor, that's pretty fun
Natty Bumpercar: Let's make that happen Alright, between you and me, let's make that happen I agree, uh, to a point there, uh, Monster Uh, that, you know, maybe some place called Boba, Boba, Small Boba
Pig: Uh, isn't gonna be a very good client to bring on because they can't possibly last very long Because all they're selling is little tapioca balls, uh, flavored gelatin, I suppose I mean, not, not everybody's, not on everybody's palate
Monster: They tried to get me to take a sample, and I said, oh, no, I did not eat marbles, alright
Pig: I said, take those marbles away from me, I swallowed a marble when I was a child
Natty Bumpercar: And it did not taste good It's not, you don't I was allergic to them You're not allergic to them, you just aren't supposed to eat marbles
Pig: Um, and these are not marbles
Producer: And you, being a lawyer, and especially if we're representing the Boba, Boba, Small Boba Uh, should know that we don't want to, uh, slander the business by saying bad and, um, uh, unfactual
Natty Bumpercar: Is that a, un, lacking in facts, factuals? Uh, things about, about a business, a brand new business that's in town that's trying to give us money, okay
Producer: Maybe we should all go down there later, Monster, you can come with us
Natty Bumpercar: And we can talk to the business, and maybe, maybe it's all gonna work out perfectly
Producer: Okay, yeah, and I, and I, and I agree with that Uh, Natty, I think you and Rufus may be losing the point here a little bit Um, M-O-N-S-T-E-R should stay here
Natty Bumpercar: I can stay with You guys can go get me some, uh, some of these marbles
Rufus T. Firefly: Love to try them, alright Love to have a sponsor for the show, alright Uh, but I just do not think it's in anyone's best, uh, interests Yeah To, uh, have Monster come along with us for this field trip I completely agree, that makes sense
Natty Bumpercar: Yes, thank you
Rufus T. Firefly: Okay, we don't want to scare the new people
Natty Bumpercar: We don't want to, um, bring in someone who's upset that they're there
Rufus T. Firefly: So that's a good idea, and thank you very much, uh, Pig For, um, for Baby's Monster Sitting?
Natty Bumpercar: Uh, yeah, well, um, I don't think I'm gonna go either Um, Pig, and it's just kind of like a, um, it's not a cultural thing It's like, I mean, frogs don't like boba, okay? Because, and it's weird to talk about in person with private, it's kind of private information Well, you don't have to talk about it on the podcast if it's such private information, uh, producer
Pig: Uh, you could just leave it at, you don't like boba And then you don't have to come, and that is No, here's the thing, though, I think I should, yep, I'm still Okay, yeah, you're still talking
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, boba, uh, look a little bit like frog eggs, okay? And so I see them, and I was at the big frog meeting, we were having a conversation about boba And, you know, somebody walked in with a sample of these things, these little marbles And it just really gives everybody the icks, the yucks, you know?
Announcer: And like, I'm a frog, I eat bugs, but this is just a little bit too much for me, okay?
Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second So, I, what? Yeah, producer, sorry, that was the owners there of, uh, Boba, Boba, and some more Boba And they called in because they heard everybody was talking about them Which they thought it was gonna be a good thing Initially they said, well, this is what we want, you know, we want our name on the bumper podcast We want it out there, we want people talking about it There's no such thing as bad publicity And then they might have caught wind, they might have heard you over there talking about frog eggs And I think that that might have really upset them And then, who was it that was just talking about marbles? Well, you can't talk, they aren't marbles, they're food, alright? They're little, delicious balls of wondrous tapioca Boba, and Boba, and some more Boba, you get? Well, not only did we lose them as a sponsor Oh no But evidently, they're gonna be seeking litigation What? Who's gonna be their lawyer? I know Well, it's me So you're now going to be suing us On behalf of the sponsor that we almost had That was a sandwich shop that upset Monster And now is a Boba shop which freaks out Pig because of marbles And freaks out Producer because of frog eggs Wonderful Okay, this is going very well I'm glad you stopped in, Monster Hold on, Natty So are you guys still going on the field trip? Because you don't even have to go there necessarily But I am feeling pretty hungry after all this talk And I was wondering if maybe you guys could get me some food? You know what? That's actually not a bad idea I tend to work better as a lawyer when I have some food in my belly Now let me think, sir What kind of food could we get? Monster, now wasn't there some sandwich shop that was your favorite sandwich shop around? Maybe we could go there You think there's some place that would work out? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous Thanks a bundle for listening If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast Check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Share it with everyone everywhere Post about it on all of the social medias Or leave a rating and review The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar We also have an absurd newsletter Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter Hugs and hearts, see you soon
The post Bumperpodcast #470 – Season 3 – Monster appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This EpisodeThis is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself.
Memorable Quotes
“This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #469Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No.
What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are?
Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible.
And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know.
It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30.
So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much?
Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers.
We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time.
Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?
No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000.
Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?
Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice.
Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable.
Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever.
And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us.
So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye.
Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know.
I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger?
I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed.
A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing.
What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him.
I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that.
No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food.
And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free.
I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip.
Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there.
What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again.
There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what?
No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye?
I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure.
It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude?
What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words.
Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation.
And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know.
It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh paying attention and then the second I not even the second I I step out of the door, the second they stop talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so you know, it's uh I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to uh your your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye?
Yes. I don't have a Yes. I I don't really have an option. I have drops drops for my eye and uh they're they're uh what other steroids.
Oh, Netty, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know. Uh steroids and I it's not not something you should be messing around with. And I uh No, no, no, no, no.
It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's gonna be okay, I think. I think. I don't know.
Well, but wait, hold on. So, you just do it in the one eye because what happens if your your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to How's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you?
Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should I don't know.
I should probably find out about that. I um >> Well, hold on. So, what is your um your talk? What are you talking about?
The podcast the the show you you said you're talking. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So, I'm um talking about uh improvised podcasts and uh you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I uh >> Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts.
Pod. We're all talking weird tonight. Must be the Florida in this. You're talking about improvised podcasts.
This doesn't make no s like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean?
Why I mean, what are you talking about? I don't Well, I don't know. You know, the Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous.
Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere.
Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper podcast features contributions from Alawishious J.
Pig, Rufus T, Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.
Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, so wait, hold on, so where are we again?
Natty Bumpercar: I think we're in, well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really…
Rufus T. Rufus: Nah, what, what do you mean you don't really? You don't know where your ear are?
Natty Bumpercar: Your ear?
Rufus T. Rufus: Did you just say ear?
Natty Bumpercar: You mean are. You don't know where you are?
Rufus T. Rufus: Your ear, that's what I was trying to say.
Natty Bumpercar: Well yeah, but I, so I got on a train somewhere, and while I was driving, using the map on
Rufus T. Rufus: my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break, and
Producer Dan: so I didn't know where I was going, and I had to stop every so often to find Wi-Fi and
Rufus T. Rufus: to like, you know, update the map, and it was terrible, and it made me very nervous and stressed, and pretty much late. So did you, so you got on the train?
Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I got on the train, I, I, I don't know, it's like, you give them your car, and you
Rufus T. Rufus: walk inside, they give you a piece of paper, you walk inside, they give you another piece of paper, and then you have to sit and wait for about an hour, and then you get to go
Natty Bumpercar: inside, and then, so I think the train left at like 3.30 yesterday, and now, it arrived
Rufus T. Rufus: where in, somewhere in Florida, at like 8.30.
Natty Bumpercar: So wait, hold on, I'm doing the, producer, can you, can you do the numbers for me, so you see how much? Uh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I am doing the math here, so here, we're gonna round it up, we're going to take the numbers, we're going to go, okay, that's 12, 16, I would say 7,
Rufus T. Rufus: we're gonna say by 17, 17 hours I think? That's a long time, that is, I don't wanna say too long, but that's a long, long, long,
Natty Bumpercar: long, long time.
Rufus T. Rufus: Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what'd you do, what'd you do on the train?
Natty Bumpercar: Did you get like a, did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?
Rufus T. Rufus: No, no, no, no, no, that was way too expensive.
Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I, uh, whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something, uh, to, to get your own little
Rufus T. Rufus: sleeping booth thing was like, I, I'm gonna guess ,000? Well, now let me, I'm gonna need to look at that contract, cause that doesn't make
Natty Bumpercar: no sense at all.
Rufus T. Rufus: You got your 150 to sit in a seat and you're telling me ,000 to, I don't, now Natty,
Natty Bumpercar: I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make any, even a little bit
Rufus T. Rufus: of sense.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so, okay, um, you're in, so you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?
Rufus T. Rufus: Well, no, I, um, yeah, well kind of, but no, but the chair, like it, the back went
Natty Bumpercar: back, it reclined, and then like the, the little thing, your legs came up, and, um, so in theory, it should've been nice, uh, the only problem, well there were a couple
Rufus T. Rufus: problems, um, I, I think that I'm about, I'm gonna say three inches too tall for whatever
Natty Bumpercar: is considered, uh, to be the norm, uh, for tallness, for tallitude, because any place
Rufus T. Rufus: I go, like airplanes, like this thing, my, if I had that extra three or four inches,
Natty Bumpercar: then my feet wouldn't be, what just happened, crushed, my feet would not be, like I have
Rufus T. Rufus: to bend them, and I'm trying to like find little places to put them, and it's miserable.
Natty Bumpercar: Um, everything else is back, uh, kind of okay, um, the funny thing is, so there's this other
Rufus T. Rufus: guy, who's, there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other, so I get there, and,
Natty Bumpercar: uh, the seats open, and I was like, hey, and the guy was like, oh, is this you?
Rufus T. Rufus: And I was like, yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: So he said, wait, so he started off aggressive immediately.
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, he didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever, and, uh, so then I
Natty Bumpercar: had to squeeze in, get into my seat, and, uh, the best part was, in that 17 hours, those
Rufus T. Rufus: are the only words he said to me.
Natty Bumpercar: So, uh, for me, for my money, that's, that was great, because I, I didn't really feel
Announcer: like chatting with him, uh, especially, so as soon as I got, and I sat down in the seat,
Natty Bumpercar: he, he was kind of aggravated, and he was like, well, where's the armrest seat? Because he wanted there to be an armrest in between us, so, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us, who knows? But, uh, what chicanery could have happened? None. Um, so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of, just said goodbye, tapped out. Um, and then, the best cool thing was, at some point, I figured out there was a dining car where you could go, and, and, well, and there were booths, and I, so I got to sit in a booth, and it was much more comfortable, um, and, and, um, and then I, they had, I got a cheeseburger, which was in a plastic bag, and was microwaved, and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu, and the, the woman behind the counter was, she was like, I don't know, I don't know, how's that? I don't know. Alright, what about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And, um, so then I sat down, and I, uh, the Wi- there was Wi-Fi, so, hold on. What did you say? Like, Wi-Fi? Like that? It doesn't make any… Yeah, I heard him, I heard him too. I was going to say something else, and then I heard him. Is that because, are you a fancy person now, because you're riding on a train, that you're saying like, oh, Wi-Fi, like that? No, I just, it came out weird. I stopped. Um, but now, you know, so I got to use the Wi-Fis, which means I got to work, which everyone knows I love to do all the time, and, uh, now, and now, you know, I think I sat there working for probably three or four hours, and around 10.30 or so, this guy who was working on the train, uh, walked by with this box, and he was just like, hey, who wants, anybody hungry? And he just had all this free food, and he gave me, uh, a thing of, I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was delicious. It was spicy, and, uh, it was free, which, you know, I love free, I love working, and I love free. Um, so then, I don't, I didn't go back to the, my actual seat until closer to, like, 11.30 or 12, because I knew, like, I was tired, and I could just go, and I could pass out. All right, great, okay, so we don't need a run by, like, minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh, yeah, so I'm, I'm going to a, a podcast convention called Podfest, and, um, and I get to speak at this thing. Now, hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why do you, why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a, onto a, a train, and, and, and, and, just to talk? You could, I mean, you could just talk wherever you are. That's what you seem to do. Everybody always like, oh, now there's talking again. There we go, he's talking some more. Uh, yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. Talk what? No, I'm sorry, you do talk, talk a lot. I kind of trailed off there a little bit. Um, yeah. Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with your, uh, your eye? I notice it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was, uh, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever, and, uh, one of my kids came in and he, he, he, he was just, hey, hey dad, and then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, what's wrong with your eye? And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I mean, it's just kind of like pressure. It's like, ah, I'm looking at the computer too much, whatever. And I got up and I, I looked in the mirror. My left eye, uh, was, uh, uh, all bright red. So, uh, uh, why was it all bright red? What do you, what happened? Well, evidently I burst, burst a blood vessel in my, in my eye. And so I had something, I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin, sounded like a magic spell words. Um, and I didn't know what, so I gave it a couple of days and I was just like, maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye, which, uh, is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So finally I went to a doctor and they, uh, they checked it out and they were like, ah, it's some sort of subcutaneal, blah, blah, blah, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, what did they say? And I'm like, I don't know. I pretty much, I'm in a conversation with the doctor listening as I should, you know, uh, paying attention. And then the second I, not even the second I step out of the door, the second they stopped talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so, you know, it's, um, I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to, uh, your, your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? Yes. I don't have it. Yes. I don't really have an option. I have drops, drops for my eye and, uh, they're, they're, uh, they're steroids. Oh, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know, uh, steroids and not, it's not, not something you should be messing around with. And I, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's going to be okay. I think. I think. I don't know. Well, wait, hold on. So you just do it in the one eye? Because what happens if your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to, how's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should, I don't know. I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I, um. Well, hold on. So what is your, um, your talk, what are you talking about? The podcast, the show, you said you're talking? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, um, talking about, uh, improvised podcasts and, uh, you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I, uh. Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. We're all talking weird today. It might be the Florida in us. You're talking about improvised podcasts? This doesn't make no sense. Like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why, I mean, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. You know. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
The post Bumperpodcast #469 – Season 3 – Roadtrip appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Natty Bumpercar recounts his experience at a podcasting conference in Florida, where he lost an episode and stayed at a moldy hotel. He describes the overwhelming environment, his difficulty connecting with people, and his health issues, including a low oxygen level that led to a two-day hospital stay. Despite initial miscommunication with his team, they eventually realized something was amiss. The podcast team humorously discusses various mishaps, including lost pants and misunderstandings about HR and Healthy Ribbits magazine.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This EpisodeNatty Bumpercar recounts his wild adventure attending Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida, in this eventful episode of the Bumperpodcast. The trip takes a dramatic turn when Natty describes staying at a moldy hotel, feeling overwhelmed by the conference environment, and struggling to connect with fellow podcasters. Things escalate when his oxygen level drops dangerously low, landing him in the hospital for two days. Back at headquarters, the team discusses the mishaps with their usual comedic flair, including Natty's mysteriously lost pants and a running gag about HR actually standing for Healthy Ribbits magazine. The episode is a perfect blend of real-life misadventure and the Bumperpodcast's signature silly humor.
Memorable Quotes
“The hotel was moldy, I couldn't breathe, I lost my pants, and somehow I ended up in the hospital. Classic Podfest experience.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“We didn't even realize anything was wrong at first. We just thought you were being… you know… you.”
— Producer
“HR doesn't stand for Human Resources. It stands for Healthy Ribbits. Everyone knows that.”
— Aloysius J. Pig
Topics: #podfest #conference #travel #hospital #florida #pants #comedy #health
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #468Where where where where have I been? Where have I Where have have I been? I'm here now. Uh but I was I was somewhere else.
I was I was in Florida and I I I recorded an episode, but I don't I can't find it. It did not It's somewhere. It didn't upload. It didn't do any of the stuff.
So, you you're just you have no idea. I went to a a a thing a pod a podcasting conference a pod fest and I spoke and it was it was it was nice. I uh I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I uh looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight 12 minute walk away.
Not too bad. Uh and you know I thought that's fine. I can walk over. I'll walk back.
It's going to be pleasant. And and it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I my assumption I made an assumption was all this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever.
You know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a I made I made a mistake is what I did. >> Yeah.
What kind of mistake did you think you did? Hold on a second. What kind? There we go.
What kind of mistake do you think that you made? >> Oh uh hey pig. Um well my first mistake and I have to apologize immediat. I am so sorry that that I did not you did not come with me to the conference.
I got there and I looked around and I was like I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of uh of friends. Uh well before you accept friends right let's just acquaintances right work friends I think that's fine >> yeah proceed yes I tend to agree that you know we are all friendly here at work hello everyone it's me producer and we are friends here at work of course but we don't really um run in the same social circle so much you know so kind of tough when you're like oh my friends you know I don't we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, "Okay, see you later." >> But no, none of that's true.
We all live at headquarters together. And no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We We are just friends. And I >> Hold on a second there, Nat.
Uh, it's me, Roffus to Root T Rufus. Uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here cuz we we now while you were gone, you know, Gallivant down uh in in sunny Florida, we you know, kind of we had a an HR meeting. >> Oh, you did human resources. How did Where did we have that here?
Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner. >> Oh, now hold on a second.
You can't just go out just saying that. That's I think that's trade copyritten marked. We were talking about uh HR puffing stuff we were talking about. Now, hold on because I was at this meeting as well.
And I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. Uh we do box breeding, cro cro for 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now. >> Yeah.
Good. I'm glad that you had Okay. I again was in Florida. I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby nice, the people nice.
Uh and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know is if that's a thing, but that was the that was that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people you can live there maybe, but which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh but every room had like a kitchenette.
Wait, like a um >> wait, you saw Janette? Janette was down in Florida. Oh man, I I lost touch with Janette. so long ago.
And I uh >> No, >> no, >> no. It was a kitchenette. >> Yeah, kitchenet. >> Oh, sorry.
Yeah. Uh so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen. Sorry. Uh and and it was it was terrible and I never even uh I would walk right through there.
Um all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was ve it was very nice looking. Uh, and and and the bed. Um, I I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and um I put a what's the thing? A uh >> Is it a Is it a blanket?
A blanket? No, not a blanket. >> Oh, if you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of your cell, that's called a blanket. So, you you on the right path there.
Just want to help you out. >> It could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you got a you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your uh I don't know uh t what what is it thing that where you take the the blanket, but it's got like a empty and so you put the stuff a duvet might have been a duvet. It was loud.
Uh or was it a uh uh an afghan? >> No, sorry. So, it was my mistake cuz I see what I put a towel down on the bed. Uh, and then I used uh a couple of other towels as as blankets.
So, you guys are right with blankets. U but I used it. I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great.
Uh I I uh fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in in mold. Um, and I I you know, if I find the hidden episode hidden, by hidden, I mean lost.
Uh, it'll tell you all about that the the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a it was an adventure. Uh, but not now. I want to talk about.
So I I would go to the the the podfest, right, and wander around and there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were uh there was a a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I uh you know, I would walk up and I'd be like, "Hi." Like, "Oh." And oh, do you have a podcast? was like, "Yeah, you know, you have a I have to wear a badge. It had my name, had the bumper, podcast, all the stuff." And and and and I, you know, it was it said uh speaker.
It was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh but I just it was I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud.
It was very overwhelming, overstimulating. And um you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of of the the thing. I think I uh intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa boy was I. So, uh I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick.
And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner uh and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but uh I needed to uh to to reset a little bit. And uh had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh then I I got up the next morning and I was like, "All right, I'm gonna my my talk is at 3:30 and I'm gonna I'm gonna get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my my uh >> Are you intentious presentation and everything?
Your presentations. You're not presenting well today. I got to say this is Are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing?
Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to Is this a sleep podcast? We trying to lull people to sleep. >> Fine.
No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, "Oh, this is strange." And felt a little lightheaded, so I went to urgent care.
Oh, hold on a second. I don't I don't want to dismerge nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida. Well, yeah. I didn't have many options.
I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so, they gave me some meds and I was like, "All right, I'm on the mend." But then the next morning, I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back.
And I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because uh there was no breathing. I was there was no there was I was it was a distinct lack of breathing. Um and uh no no temperature. All right.
You know just uh no breathing. And uh I I was like I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds.
I should be fine. >> I What kind of meds did they give to you because you was you know you said you were in Florida. Was it like a a tic tac or like like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something? >> No, no, no, no.
It it was >> I would love a tic tac right now. Huh? Right. No, honestly, I could too.
Uh it was just like medicine. Med medicine medicine. I don't know. Um but I I I I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home and then Wednesday, uh finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have.
Uh, pulse oximter is what it's called. >> Oh, look who won gun on Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you.
I'm proud of you. Thanks. I appreciate it. So, but it was it was it was uh 92 is a number on it.
And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know, and it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not you're done. Don't worry about it.
And I was like, "Oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days." So, I said, "All right, I'm going to go to the I'm going to go to the ER. I'm going to get checked out. Got to make sure that everything's okay." Drove over there. Was fine driving.
Fine. And I uh I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, "Hey, what are you what are you here for? What do you what do you what do you want? Huh?
A tic tac? And I was like, "No, no, no." And uh I said, "Oh, I can't I can't breathe." And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days. That's where I've been.
So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that was that was that you? Should we have been answering that? because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid and so we just, >> you know, we kept letting go to voicemail. >> Yeah, that was >> that was me.
Should we apologize? >> I mean, you don't have to because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message uh the multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you Did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to?
No. Honestly, no. because you know you just went to Florida and you left us and so we're like oh looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or wherever he goes it's you know and so I you know we maybe you know maybe we did we didn't know where you were but maybe we were just like he's too big for his bridges and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like oh we're just a little bumper podcast you know. >> Yeah.
Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches. Um, does anybody I had a pile of bridges that I had washed and dried and I don't They were like I stacked them. I folded them. They were all perfect and now I I don't know.
I don't know where they went. >> Now you're saying breaches. >> Britches. >> Breaches?
No. Britches? >> Like dungarees? >> Yeah, like pants.
I I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing? >> I think that's fine.
Is that like a brand? No, I think it's just like a different >> I think it's a different name. But if people are stealing people's pants, then we might have to get HR back in here. >> Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in there.
Perfect. I have a great idea for a recipe. Okay. >> NO.
The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar.
Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley.
It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus, Tufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumper Car.
We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at natty bumpercar. Hugs and hearts.
See you soon.
Natty Bumpercar: Where, where, where, where have I been? Where have I, where have, have I been? I'm here now, but I was, I was somewhere else. I was, I was in Florida and I, I recorded an episode, but I don't, I can't find it. It did not, it's somewhere. It didn't upload, it didn't do any of the stuff. So you, you're just, you have no idea. I went to a thing, a pod, a podcasting conference, a pod fest, and I spoke and it was, it was, it was nice. I, I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight, 12 minute walk away, not too bad. And you know, I thought that's fine. I can walk over, I'll walk back. It's going to be pleasant. And it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I, my assumption, I made an assumption was this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever, you know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a, I made, I made a mistake is what I did. Yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake did you think?
Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second. What kind of, there we go.
Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake do you think that you made?
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, uh, hey pig. Um, well my first mistake, and I have to apologize immediately, I should have started off with this. I am so sorry that, that I did not, that you did not come with me to the conference. I got there and I looked around and I was like, I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of, uh, of, of friends.
Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, well, before you say friends, right, let's just, acquaintances, right? Work friends. I think that's fine.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Okay now proceed.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.
Producer: I tend to agree that, you know, we're all friendly here at work. Hello everyone. It's me, producer. And we are friends here at work, of course, um, but we don't really, um, run in the same social circles so much, you know, so it's kind of tough when you're like, oh, my friends, I don't know. I don't, we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, okay, see you later.
Aloysious J. Pig: But no, none of that's true. We all live at headquarters together and no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We, we are just friends and I, uh,
Rufus T. Rufus: Hold on a second there, Natty. It's me, Rufus, T. Rufus, uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here because we, we, now while you were gone, you know, gallivanting down, uh, in, in sunny Florida, we, you know, kind of, we had a, an HR meeting.
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you did? Human resources? How did, where did, we don't have that here.
Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we, maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner.
Aloysious J. Pig: Whoa, now hold on a second. You can't just go out just saying that. That's, I think that's trade copywritten, marked.
Rufus T. Rufus: We were talking about, uh, HR, perf and stuff, right?
Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, hold on because I was at this meeting as well and I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. We do box breathing, uh, croak, croak, for four seconds in, four seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, good.
Natty Bumpercar: I'm glad that you had, okay, I, again, was in Florida, I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby, nice, the people, nice, uh, and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know if that's a thing, but that was the, that was, that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called, it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people, you can live there maybe, but that, which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh, but every room had like a kitchenette, like a, um,
Producer: Wait, you saw Jeanette? Jeanette was down in Florida? Oh man, I, I lost touch with Jeanette so long ago and I, uh,
Natty Bumpercar: No.
Producer: No.
Natty Bumpercar: No. It was a kitchenette.
Producer: Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: Kitchenette.
Producer: Oh, sorry.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Uh, so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen.
Producer: Sorry.
Natty Bumpercar: Uh, and, and it was, it was terrible and I never even, uh, I would walk right through there. Um, all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was very, it was very nice looking. Uh, and, and, and the bed, um, I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and, um, I put a, what's the thing? A, uh,
Producer: Is it a blanket?
Natty Bumpercar: A blanket. No, not a blanket. Uh,
Producer: If you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of yourself, that's called a blanket. So you were on the right path there.
Natty Bumpercar: Well, it could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you gotta, you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your, uh, I don't know. Uh, what is it, you take the blanket, but it's got like an empty, and so you put the stuff, a duvet, you might, might've been a duvet. That was loud. Uh, or was it a, uh, uh, an afghan? No, sorry. So it was my mistake cause I see what, I put a towel down on the bed, uh, and then I used, uh, a couple of other towels as, as blankets. So you guys are right with blankets. Um, but I used it, I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great. Uh, I, I, uh, fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in, in mold. Um, and I, I, you know, if I find the hidden episode, hidden by hidden, I mean lost, uh, it'll tell you all about the, the, the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a, it was an adventure. Uh, but not now I want to talk about, so I, I would go to the, the, the podfest, right? And wander around. And there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were, uh, there was a, a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I, uh, you know, I, I would walk up and I'd be like, hi, and they're like, oh, and they go, do you have a podcast? I was like, yeah. You know, and you have a, I have to wear a badge and I had my name, had the bumper podcast, all the stuff. And, and, and, and I, you know, it was, I said, uh, speaker, it was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh, but I just, it was, I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud. It was very overwhelming, overstimulating and, um, you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of, of the thing. I think I, uh, intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa, boy, was I. So, uh, I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick. And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner, uh, and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but, uh, I needed to, uh, to, to reset a little bit and, uh, had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh, then I, I got up the next morning and I was like, all right, I'm going to, my, my talk is at three 30 and I'm going to, I'm going to get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my, my, uh, presentation and everything.
Rufus T. Rufus: Your presentations.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.
Rufus T. Rufus: You're not presenting well today. I got to say, this is, are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing? Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to, is this a sleep podcast? Are we trying to lull people to sleep?
Natty Bumpercar: Fine. No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, oh, this is strange. And felt a little lightheaded. So I went to urgent care.
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, hold on a second. I don't, I don't want to besmirch nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida?
Natty Bumpercar: Well, yeah, I didn't have many options. I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so they gave me some meds and I was like, all right, I'm on the mend. But then the next morning I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back and I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because there was no breathing. I was, there was no, it was, it was a distinct lack of breathing. And no, no temperature.
Rufus T. Rufus: All right.
Natty Bumpercar: You know, just no breathing. And I was like, I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds. I should be fine.
Rufus T. Rufus: What kind of meds did they give to you? Because you were, you know, you said you were in Florida. Was it like a Tic Tacs or something like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something?
Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, no. It was, it was. Man, I would love a Tic Tac right now, huh? Right?
Rufus T. Rufus: No, honestly, I could too.
Natty Bumpercar: It was just like medicine, medicine. I don't know. But I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home. And then Wednesday, finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have. Pulse oximeter is what it's called.
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, look who'd want gunned down in Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you. I'm proud of you.
Natty Bumpercar: Thanks. I appreciate it.
Rufus T. Rufus: Ooh.
Natty Bumpercar: So, but it was, it was, it was 92 is the number on it. And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know? And it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not, you're done. Don't worry about it. And I was like, oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days. So I said, all right, I'm going to go to the, I'm going to go to the ER, I'm going to get checked out. I'm going to make sure that everything's okay. Drove over there. Was fine driving. Fine. And I, uh, I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, hey, what are you, what are you here for? What do you, what do you, what do you want? And I was like, ah, a tic-tac. And I was like, no, no, no. And I said, I can't, I can't breathe. And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days.
Rufus T. Rufus: Wait.
Natty Bumpercar: That's where I've been.
Rufus T. Rufus: So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that,
Natty Bumpercar: was that, was that you? Should we have been answering that?
Rufus T. Rufus: Because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid. So we just, you know, we kept letting it go to voicemail.
Natty Bumpercar: That was, that was me. Should we apologize? I mean, you don't have to, because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message. The multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you, did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to?
Rufus T. Rufus: Honestly, no, because you know, you had just went to Florida and you left us. And so we're like, oh, looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or whatever he goes, you know. And so I, you know, I, we maybe, you know, maybe we did, we didn't know where you were, but maybe we were just like, he's too big for his britches and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like, oh, we're just a little bumper podcast, you know?
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah.
Rufus T. Rufus: Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches, um, is anybody, I had a pile of britches that I had washed and dried and I don't, they were like, I stacked them, I folded them. They were all perfect. And now I don't know, I don't know where they went.
Natty Bumpercar: Now y'all, y'all saying breeches?
Rufus T. Rufus: Britches.
Natty Bumpercar: Breeches.
Rufus T. Rufus: No, britches.
Natty Bumpercar: Like dungarees?
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: Like pants. I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing?
Rufus T. Rufus: I think that's fine.
Natty Bumpercar: Yes. Is that like a brand?
Rufus T. Rufus: No, I think it's just like a different thing.
Natty Bumpercar: I'm confused.
Rufus T. Rufus: I think it's a different name, but if people are stealing people's pants, then we might
Natty Bumpercar: have to get HR back in here.
Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in here?
Natty Bumpercar: Perfect.
Rufus T. Rufus: I have a great idea for a recipe, okay?
Natty Bumpercar: No!
Announcer/Network Voice: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
The post Bumperpodcast #468 – Season 3 – Britches appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Aloysius J Pig and a special guest discuss technical difficulties with recording their podcast, including equipment malfunctions and the need for more snacks. The guest reveals his identity and shares insights into his busy holiday season, including logistical challenges like navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with pets. They reflect on the joy and challenges of Christmas, with the guest emphasizing the importance of spreading joy and the emotional aspects of the holiday. Aloysius humorously suggests that the guest become a professional podcaster, but Santa remains focused on his preparations for the upcoming year.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This EpisodeAloysius J. Pig plays host alongside a very special guest in this holiday episode of the Bumperpodcast. After struggling with technical difficulties and equipment malfunctions, the mysterious guest reveals himself to be none other than Santa Claus. Santa shares behind-the-scenes insights into his busy holiday season, including the logistical nightmares of navigating homes without chimneys and dealing with household pets. The conversation turns heartfelt as Santa reflects on the joy and emotional weight of Christmas, while Aloysius humorously suggests that Santa should pivot to professional podcasting. A charming episode that blends holiday warmth with the Bumperpodcast's signature absurdist humor.
Memorable Quotes
“The homes without chimneys are the real challenge. You'd be surprised how many people don't have chimneys anymore.”
— Santa
“Have you ever considered becoming a professional podcaster? You've got a great voice for it!”
— Aloysius J. Pig
“Spreading joy is the whole point. Even when it's exhausting, even when the pets try to bite you.”
— Santa
Topics: #christmas #santa #holidays #podcasting #technicaldifficulties #snacks
Featuring: Aloysius J. Pig, Santa
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #467No. Yeah, but I'm sorry is what I'm saying because it was the whole thing that wasn't working and No, I know. >> Yes. Well, I I think we should just let uh let the water under the bridge, I think is what it's We should let the water flow under the bridge.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
So, we're not going to mess up this. Okay. So, quick update. We've been trying to record this.
We actually did record this a couple of times and the equipment said, "You know what? You recorded it. Great job. We're going to eat it.
And uh it was hungry. That's our fault. Okay. We got to give it more snacks, whatever.
But now we found a whole other device. We got a lot of devices around this place. And it seems like it's working, which is very exciting. >> Yes.
And I I feel like we should probably do the introductions again and maybe even try to remember what we HAD TALKED ABOUT BEFORE so that we can I don't or else we can just do this a recap of the things that didn't happen. That seems, you know, to completely fine as well. >> No, no, no, no. Point taken.
Hey everybody, it's me Alawishious J Pig here on the Bumper podcast. Uh Natty is I don't know and I have this uh interview and I'm so thankful that you've been so uh patient with me this whole time uh because this has been very frustrating for me and I'm and I'm sure for you. Um so YOU SHOULD INTRODUCE YOURSELF. >> WELL, YES, OF COURSE.
UH hello everyone. It it's it's um it's it's Santa Claus. I'm not even going to beat around the bush. In previous recordings of this very same episode, we kind of played little games like, "Oh, who could it be?" You know, and who and then Alawishas would ask me questions and we would, "Oh, it's it's Santa Cl.
It's me. It is Santa Claus." I feel like it's pointless to do that at this point because the point of the point is [laughter] I'm just kidding. Anyway, nice to see you everyone. >> Yeah.
Well, we didn't go over that. So, this is not a video podcast, Santa. Uh, we asked for a few uh video things in a in a stocking or under the tree and uh it didn't didn't happen. And that's totally fine.
You know, we uh maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were. What you know, however it works. I don't know. >> Hold on there.
We just you know, I did see your list. All the lists that are sent come to me. I look at them. I go over them.
I have a special highlighter where I will highlight the things that I think we can get and then that we put it over on the side there. There's some budgeting and I don't know if you realize but uh audio and video equipment is very expensive. The elves they can't even make that type of stuff and so we have to um outsource it as it were uh to other other places. There's there's uh uh gnomes, of course, they work more in uh I guess wood wooden things.
We have the dwarves that are doing the stone. I don't know who it is who does our electronics these days, but the point is you you put these you lists are a suggestion. All right, lists are I'm not going to go checkbox, I got it, checkbox, I got it like that. Uh, but what I will do is I will look at it and I will try to figure out as best as I can.
And I think that you had a pretty wonderful Christmas if I'm not mistaken. >> No. Yeah. Yeah.
Abs. Absolutely. I did. That was not meant to detract in anyway.
Great Christmas. Woke up. Um, can I tell you the kids, Bumpak kids, they actually slept until, get this, 5:45. So, we're getting close to daylight almost.
Uh, and uh, but then it was it was just very pleasant. hung out with family, uh saw all the people, uh you know, high-fived a friend or two, and uh just try to take it easy, take a little bit of a a break. >> Well, that's that's wonderful. Well, I'm happy to hear it.
I uh myself, I was very busy over the holidays. >> Yeah, that that makes sense. That makes sense. Uh you got a lot going on, obviously.
[laughter] >> Yes, obviously. I I didn't even think about it when I said it, but yes, I was. It's my busy time of the year, obviously. Uh, but it was it was wonderful.
It's always my favorite time of the year again, obviously. But it it's just it's it's it's a nice thing that is there was a time of year that some people look forward to and of course some people they get to that time of year and it's difficult and I understand that as well and and and I feel I feel bad. I I I wish everyone could share in as as much joy as they can, but as as life has it um there can be outstanding uh outstanding outstanding there we are um outstanding issues or or whatever it is that that that that can detract from the joy you know you know also I think if you're not looking um at the spirit of the whole thing then and it's easy to get lost in the sauce as They say maybe that's like a a North Pole thing. I don't know.
I've never had lost lost in sauce. I don't know. Uh here in New Jersey, I think it's gravy. So, we get kind of wavy in the gravy.
No, I don't know. Hey. Um so, what we were talking about in the other episodes, um well, first off, I can't just leave that hanging. Yeah.
Uh it's it's one of those seasons where it's full of happiness, right? And but it's also full of it's uh just a big bubble of nostalgia. And then sometimes, you know, like for times past and then sometimes it's nostalgia for stuff that never even happened, right? Like maybe, you know, you're you're conflating all the different Christmas stories with Rudolph and the the the the Frosty and whatever it is, the heat miser, and uh you know, you're you're squishing that with your childhood or whatever it is.
And and you know it's it's it's it can it can get a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelming. A lot of stuff going on. A lot of lights, a lot of tensil, a lot of presents. Are they going to like it?
Did I spend too much money? Okay. Now I'm getting I'm getting uh I'm getting um the glimpmp and I It's okay. Take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath. >> You all right? Are you going Are you all right there? Yes.
Well, it is it's true. It is It is It is overwhelming. Um but my hope is that and everyone can at least make an attempt to to find a little bit of light in the season. Um you know the the the the year is coming to a close.
We just do we just drop something and a new year's coming about which is it gives you at least the the hope of of of a new fresh beginning. Um, and and hopefully there are some memories throughout the life that you can pull upon that will uh, you know, make you happy about about Christmas time. Maybe it's you. I don't I for me, I don't really know.
I don't know cuz I'm on just building and taking toys. But I know, you know, for instance, I I sometimes I get the opportunity to go to houses. Um, people invite me over. uh sometimes before Christmas, sometimes a little bit after.
And they they say, "Santa, we need you to be here on this day." And I actually am able to come sometimes, not all the time, and to see the children uh the the faces, the glee, the joy where they're like, "Oh my word, Santa is in our house right now. How is this happening? He's talking to me." You know, and it's it can be uh hot warming is is really what it can be. Hot melting, if I dare say.
Yeah. Well, and and good good job. You should be a professional podcaster. Wait a minute.
The Santa Claus tales where you go on every week and you talk about the good list, the naughty list. Oh. Oh. Okay.
I'm going to talk to Rufus. We're going to get it. You're You're locked in. You're now you're on officially on the BPN, the Bumper Podcast Network.
Oh, no. Hold on one sec. I don't feel like I can or should or want to do that. But talk to my people and they can talk to your people and we can kind of see what what what can come about.
I suppose >> I can see it now. You're on the stage of the Webbies, I think they're called. And they're like best new podcast of the year, Santa talking. What?
What do you think it's going to be called? >> I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE CALLED anything because again, I haven't agreed to anything. I'm I'm a very very busy you know um and uh >> yeah what I mean you're busy like what November December and probably wrapping up in uh by mid January right so that leaves you with I can't count but seven and a half and a half months whatever it is just you just are you just lolly gagging no no I'm not I'm neither lollying nor gagging okay I'm I'm I'm planning I'm uh preparing I'm uh um another word for such things and um I can't you know planning and preparing we're going to stick with planning and preparing uh it's it's very busy all the the logistics okay of of I have to go across the entire world in one night up chimneys down chimneys some places have no chimneys that's fine finding trees finding Nemo there's uh stockings sometimes hung on on the the mantle with there. But there's also a lot of times where they're not.
There's people there. Sometimes there's stockings on the floor, stockings on the couch, wherever they are, right? And I can't wake anyone up. I have to do this all silently, right?
And and sometimes they have a cat, SOMETIMES THEY HAVE A DOG. ONE TIME I WENT to a house that had a bird and it kept saying, "I know you over and over." I know you. In different intonations, I know you. I know you know you.
And the bird almost drove me out of my my my red my red cap. It drove me bananas is what I'd say. >> I was worried you're going to say Boo cuz I don't know if you remember how it works here at the Bubba podcast, but if you say uh Bonu then uh something I don't remember what happened, but Rufus comes in. He's like, "Oh, you're totally 10 years ago that no one remembers but me." But anyway, uh yeah, I get it.
Birds are uh birds are dinosaurs. Okay. >> Wait, that reminds me. So, now we're saying that dinosaurs are actually real.
Is that was that the the premise of the conversation now at this point? >> Well, uh no. I mean, hold on. Yes, dinosaurs are clearly real.
Uh birds are descendants of dinosaurs. I don't know if that's how they work. Descendants. or are they like how does I don't I'm not that we need to get a science person on this show because I mean I don't want to be just uh sitting here telling people stuff with no uh annotations, no uh cliff notes, no, you know, I could just say anything.
Oh, dinosaurs spoke uh French. They could I don't know, right? I wasn't there. They probably didn't.
I They could. I don't know. Anyway, what I'm saying is I Well, I'm going to cut you off and I apologize cuz I know that's not polite. Uh, so yes, I can tell you cuz I was there.
Dinosaurs did not speak French. >> Well, hold on. Breaking news. Santa Claus, you were around when dinosaurs were around.
And where did he were the elves? Was Mrs. Claus? Was there a Was there even a North Pole?
Are we talking Pangia here? Um, I need more. See, and this is why I'm saying people people want to hear these stories. >> They want to hear about you going to baby T-Rex's house and, you know, maybe he was on the nice list that year and you gave him a little baby T-Rex uh tricycle or whatever it is.
Well, I mean, it was it it was there. It was real and it was different. They didn't do trees back then. Uh [snorts] they they just piled up rocks, right?
Uh which they it was it was interesting because they were decorated very differently from how it's decorated now. There was no tensil obviously, no plastic. Um, so there were no uh lights. They would sometimes um pay little uh uh light lightning bugs to to to light up on the trees which was which was beautiful.
Uh and similarly they would sometimes uh put little candles on the tree uh to and then the magic was they would say we have to light the tree of rocks so that Santa knows where we are. It was it was it was a nice time. Yeah. And my my point entirely exactly.
It was a nice time that no one's ever heard about, so I'm not going to force it. But that's what we were talking about on the last podcast is is how people are coming up to you all the time and they're saying like, "Oh, is Santa real?" And you're standing in front of them and remember like I was saying like, "Oh, people come up to me and they're like, "Oh, you're real a pig." And I'm like, "My name is Alawishas." Remember all that? I wish we would have talked about any of that stuff during this podcast, but we didn't because we were so excited just to get the equipment working, but uh I don't know. Happy New Year, right?
Let's uh see what happens. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening.
If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/ patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review.
The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T.
Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.
Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at nattybumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Aloysious J. Pig: No, yeah, but I'm sorry is what I'm saying because it was the whole thing that wasn't
Santa: working.
Aloysious J. Pig: No, I know.
Santa: Yes.
Aloysious J. Pig: Well, I think we should just let the water under the bridge, I think is what it's…
Santa: We should let the water flow under the bridge.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Santa: Okay, so we're not going to mess up this.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay, so quick update.
Santa: We've been trying to record this.
Aloysious J. Pig: We actually did record this a couple of times and the equipment said, you know what?
Santa: You recorded it.
Aloysious J. Pig: Good job.
Santa: We're going to eat it.
Aloysious J. Pig: And it was hungry.
Santa: That's our fault.
Aloysious J. Pig: Okay.
Santa: We got to give it more snacks, whatever.
Aloysious J. Pig: But now we've found a whole other device.
Santa: We've got a lot of devices around this place and it seems like it's working, which is very
Aloysious J. Pig: exciting.
Santa: Yes.
Aloysious J. Pig: And I feel like we should probably do the introductions again and maybe even try to remember
Santa: what we had talked about before so that we can, I don't, or else we can just do this,
Aloysious J. Pig: a recap of the things that didn't happen.
Santa: That seems, you know, completely fine as well.
Aloysious J. Pig: No, no, no, no.
Santa: Point taken.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hey, everybody.
Santa: This is Jay Pig here on the Bumper Podcast.
Aloysious J. Pig: Natty is, I don't know, and I have this interview and I'm so thankful that you've been so patient
Santa: with me this whole time because this has been very frustrating for me and I'm sure for you.
Aloysious J. Pig: So you should introduce yourself.
Santa: Well, yes, of course.
Aloysious J. Pig: Hello, everyone.
Santa: It's Santa Claus.
Aloysious J. Pig: I'm not even going to beat around the bush.
Santa: In previous recordings of this very same episode, we kind of played little games like, oh, who
Aloysious J. Pig: could it be?
Santa: And, you know, and then Aloysius would ask me questions and we would, oh, it's Santa
Aloysious J. Pig: Claus.
Santa: And it's me.
Aloysious J. Pig: It is Santa Claus.
Santa: I feel like it's pointless to do that at this point because the point of the point is, I'm
Aloysious J. Pig: just kidding.
Santa: Anyway, nice to see you, everyone.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: Well, we didn't go over that. This is not a video podcast, Santa. We asked for a few video things in a stocking or under the tree and it didn't happen. And that's totally fine. You know, we maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were, you know, however, I don't know. Hold on there, Aloysius. I did see your list. All the lists that are sent come to me. I look at them. I go over them. I have a special highlighter where I will highlight the things that I think we can get And then we put it over on the side there. There's some budgeting. And I don't know if you realize, but audio and video equipment is very expensive. The elves, they can't even make that type of stuff. And so we have to outsource it, as it were, to other places. There's gnomes, of course. They work more in, I guess, wooden things. We have the dwarves that are doing the stone. I don't know who it is who does our electronics these days, but the point is, you put these lists are a suggestion, all right? Lists are… I'm not going to go check box, I got it, check box, I got it like that. But what I will do is I will look at it and I will try to figure out as best as I can. And I think that you had a pretty wonderful Christmas, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was not meant to detract in any way. Great Christmas. Woke up. Can I tell you, the kids, bumper car kids, they actually slept until, get this, 5.45. So we're getting close to daylight, almost. But then it was just very pleasant. Hung out with family, saw all the people, high-fived a friend or two, and just tried to take it easy, take a little bit of a break. It's wonderful. Well, I'm happy to hear it. I, myself, I was very busy over the holidays. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. You got a lot going on, obviously. Yes, obviously. I didn't even think about it when I said it, but yes, it's my busy time of the year, obviously. But it was wonderful. It's always my favorite time of the year, again, obviously. But it's just, it's a nice thing that there was a time of year that some people look forward to. Of course, some people, they get to that time of year, and it's difficult, and I understand that as well. And I feel bad. I wish everyone could share in as much joy as they can, but as life has it, there can be outstanding, outstanding, outstanding, there we are, outstanding issues or whatever it is that can detract from the joy. So I think if you're not looking at the spirit of the whole thing, then it's easy to get lost in the sauce, as they say. Maybe that's like a North Pole thing. I don't know. I've never had lost in the sauce. I don't know. Here in New Jersey, I think it's gravy. So we get kind of wavy in the gravy. No, I don't know. So what we were talking about in the other episodes, well, first off, I can't just leave that hanging. Yeah. It's one of those seasons where it's full of happiness, but it's also full of, it's just a big bubble of nostalgia, and then sometimes, like for times past, and then sometimes it's nostalgia for stuff that never even happened. Like maybe you're conflating all the different Christmas stories with Rudolph and Frosty and whatever it is, the Heat Miser, and you're squishing that with your childhood or whatever it is, and it can get a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelming, a lot of stuff going on. A lot of lights, a lot of tinsel, a lot of presents. Are they going to like it? Did I spend too much money? Okay, now I'm getting the glimpse, and it's just, okay, take a deep breath, take a deep breath. Are you all right there? Yes. Well, it's true. It is overwhelming, but my hope is that everyone can at least make an attempt to find a little bit of light in the season. The year is coming to a close, we'll just drop something, and a new year is coming about, which gives you at least the hope of a new, fresh beginning, and hopefully there are some memories throughout the life that you can pull upon that will make you happy about Christmastime. Maybe it's, for me, I don't really know, I don't know, because I'm just building and taking toys. I don't know, for instance, sometimes I get the opportunity to go to houses people invite me over, sometimes before Christmas, sometimes a little bit after, and they say, Santa, we need you to be here on this day, and I actually am able to come sometimes, not all the time, and to see the children, the faces, the glee, the joy, where they're like, oh my word, Santa is in our house right now, how is this happening? He's talking to me, you know, and it can be heartwarming, it can be heart-melting, if I dare say. Yeah, and good job, you should be a professional podcaster. Wait a minute, the Santa Claus Tales, where you go on every week, and you talk about the good list, the naughty list, oh, okay, I'm gonna talk to Rufus, we're gonna get it, you're locked in, you're now officially on the BPN, the Bumper Car Podcast Network. Oh, no, hold on one second, I don't feel like I can or should or want to do that, but talk to my people and they can talk to your people, and we can kind of see what can come about, I suppose. I can see it now, you're on the stage of the Webbies, I think they're called, and they're like, best new podcast of the year, Santa Talkin', or whatever you think it's gonna be called. I don't feel like it's going to be called anything, because, again, I haven't agreed to anything, I'm very, very busy, you know, and, uh… Yeah, but, I mean, you're busy, like, what, November, December, and probably wrapping up by mid-January, right, so that leaves you with, I can't count, but seven and a half, twelve and a half months, or whatever it is, just, are you just lollygagging? No, no, no, I'm neither lollygagging nor gagging, okay, I'm planning, I'm preparing, I'm, uh, another word for such things, and, um, I can't, you know, planning and preparing, we're gonna stick with planning and preparing, uh, it's very busy, all the logistics, okay, I have to go across the entire world in one night, up chimneys, down chimneys, some places have no chimneys, that's fine, finding trees, finding Nemo, there's, uh, stockings sometimes hung on the mantle with care, but there's also a lot of times where they're not, there's people, there's sometimes there's stockings on the floor, stockings on the couch, wherever they are, right, and I can't wake anyone up, I have to do this all silently, right, and, and sometimes they have a cat, sometimes they have a dog, one time I went to a house that had a bird and it kept saying, I know you, over and over, I know you, in different intonations, I know you, I know you, know you, and the bird almost drove me out of my, my, my red, my red cap, it drove me bananas, is what I'd say. I was worried you were gonna say Banu, cause I don't know if you remember how it works here at the Puppet Podcast, but if you say, uh, Banu, then, uh, something, I don't remember what happened, but Rufus comes in, he's like, oh, you're Toad's Banu, and then he scoots you away, and, yeah, it's a whole thing, it don't, it's a storyline from probably ten years ago that no one remembers but me, but anyway, uh, yeah, I get it, birds are, uh, birds are dinosaurs, okay? Wait, that reminds me, uh, so now we're saying that dinosaurs are actually real, is that, was that the premise of the conversation now at this point? Well, uh, no, I mean, hold on, yes, dinosaurs are clearly real, uh, birds are descendants of dinosaurs? I don't know if that's how they work, descendants, or are they like, how do, I don't, I'm not, we need to get a science person on this show, because, I mean, I don't want to be just sitting here telling people stuff with no, uh, annotations, no, uh, cliff notes, no, you know, I could just say anything, oh, dinosaurs spoke, uh, French, they could, I don't know, right, I wasn't there, they probably didn't, I, they could, I don't know, anyway, what I'm saying is, I, well, I'm going to cut you off, and I apologize, because I know that's not polite, uh, so yes, I can tell you, because I was there, dinosaurs did not speak French, and, wait, wait, hold on, breaking news, Santa Claus, you were around when dinosaurs were around, and where, where, where the elves, was Mrs. Claus, was there a North, was there even a North Pole, are we talking Pangaea here, um, I need more, see, and this is why I'm saying, people, people want to hear these stories, they want to hear about you going to baby, uh, T-Rex's house, and, you know, maybe he was on the nice list that year, and you gave him a little baby T-Rex, uh, tricycle, or whatever it is, well, I mean, it was, it, it was there, it was real, and it was different, they didn't do trees back then, uh, they, they just piled up rocks, right, uh, which, they, it was, it was interesting, because they were decorated very differently from how it's decorated, there was no tinsel, obviously, there was no plastic, um, so there were no, uh, lights, they would sometimes, um, pay little, uh, uh, light, lightning bugs to, to, to light up on the trees, which was, which was beautiful, uh, and similarly, they would sometimes, uh, put little candles on the tree, uh, to, they, and then, the magic was, they would say, we have to light the tree of rocks so that Santa knows where we are, it was, it was, it was a nice time. Yeah, and my, my point entirely exactly, it was a nice time that no one's ever heard about, so I'm not gonna force it, but that's what we were talking about in the last podcast, is, is how people are coming up to you all the time, and they're saying, like, oh, is Santa real, and you're standing in front of them, and remember, like, I was saying, like, oh, people come up to me, and they're like, oh, you're real, and a pig, and I'm like, my name is Aloysius, remember all that, so I wish we would have talked about any of that stuff during this podcast, but we didn't, because we were so excited just to get the equipment working, but, uh, I don't know, Happy New Year, right? Let's, uh, see what happens, hee hee. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening! If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!
The post Bumperpodcast #467 – Season 3 – Guest appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J Pig attempted to record a podcast without their producer, who was on vacation. They faced numerous technical issues, including a chilly studio at 48 degrees and malfunctioning wires. Despite their efforts, the recording equipment failed. Aloysius humorously recounted his search for a tomato soup can to record, while Natty yawned into the microphone. They received messages from their producer and Rufus, who warned them about the cold studio, broken wires, and not eating frog cookies. The episode concluded with a reflection on their failed attempt and the chaos that ensued.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This EpisodeNatty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig attempt to record a podcast episode without their beloved Producer, who is away on vacation. Chaos ensues as the duo faces a freezing studio at 48 degrees, malfunctioning wires, and complete equipment failure. Aloysius hilariously recounts his quest to find a tomato soup can to use as a makeshift recording device, while Natty yawns directly into the microphone. The pair receives warning messages from Producer and Rufus about the cold studio, broken wires, and a mysterious caution about not eating frog cookies. The episode is a delightful showcase of what happens when the behind-the-scenes magic of the Bumperpodcast falls apart.
Memorable Quotes
“I found a tomato soup can! We can record into this, right? That's how podcasting works?”
— Aloysius J. Pig
“It's 48 degrees in here. I can see my breath. This is not ideal podcasting conditions.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“Whatever you do, do NOT eat the frog cookies.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #technicaldifficulties #producer #cold #recording #chaos #cookies #vacation
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysius J. Pig, Producer, Rufus T. Rufus
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #466So, we came in the studio today and producer is on vacation for the end of the year. Whole uh frog thing. He goes home to his family. Good for him.
And we were like, we should record an episode and we can do this by ourselves. We don't even need producer. And well, and we we we fell uh flat on our faces. Okay.
So, we came in the studio. Uh it was 48° which is a little a little bit chilly and uh nothing nothing was working. >> Yeah. And even now I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working.
Like we plugged everything in and we're like okay this isn't working. And then we tried some different wires. We tried a whole different system, a different setup and it didn't also didn't work. And um >> so we we're really we're trying not to complain because we want we know we're like hey we're going to be at a podcast convention.
We're going to be speaking we're have all these new people who coming in. [clears throat] They're listening. That's wonderful. And so we're like oh let's you know put out some episodes and you know late in the year and say hi to everybody.
And this is this isn't the best foot forward is what I'm saying. >> No it is it is not. And we're a minute in and Okay. Okay.
So, we're trying not to be negative and uh our producer is on vacation and the studio I didn't know that he he comes in and he preheats the studio. I didn't know that that was something that he did. I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty, but um it's it's not. And so, that's something that we learned today.
And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately I think he got like a step into the studio and he just turned and and walked away and he said something like not on my watch which doesn't even make sense. So it's just me, Natty Bumper Car and Alawishious is here too. Yeah. Uh luckily as a pig uh I am immune to cold and that's not true.
I'm actually I listen I'm a I am a pig. I have pink skin and it's I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just I can see my pig breath and it everything hurts.
Like I I sat down on the chair and I was like it's this chair is harder than it usually is. >> Yeah. >> And uh Yeah. I sat on the couch and um it actually it crinkled like it was frozen or something.
Um, which I don't I hope it's I don't know why it would be. It would have to be have been wet to be frozen and then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. Um, but you know what?
It's okay. Who cares? We got we got this thing working and there's so far there's no feedback and and and it seems like we're having it. Let's so let's you know what?
Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey Alawishious JPG, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you.
Uh yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually we got a producer, we got the uh the Roffus and you know uh I actually do you remember it was a few episodes ago Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he they used to have a a tomato soup can and they would put uh they would record the episode that way. So, I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking I was actually looking for tomato soup can because I was how desperate I was and I was just like we're I'm going to make this work.
I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a uh a tomato soup can, then I I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was There was no tomato soup.
There was no soup at all. There was some uh uh crackers uh that were open and very stale. And there was uh a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo but was not an Oreo. I think uh I don't know, some sort of off-brand.
And I tried one and my tongue um I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? Nothing.
I mean, I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. No. Oh no.
Oh no. I just broke the co cordinal cordinal cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic this podcast and they're going to say, "Oh, I should be listening to this.
This is something I should be enjoying." And then the host starts yawning. >> Oh, man. What a disaster. >> No, it's good.
Natty, uh, hold on. I just got a phone call. Got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Roffus.
So, I'm gonna see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play. I just to see. I don't know what it's I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey, Alawish.
This is Roffus. Roffus. It's very cold outside there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today.
All right. So, I came back inside and I Oh, >> so far it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is This is taking the podcast in a whole new direction.
Uh, press play. Press play. >> Well, WANTED YOU TO KNOW that uh uh the there's no soup out in the pantry out there. Uh, I brought it all inside.
And there also there's some there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend uh eating them that that's not going to be good for you. I just you don't need to know a lot about the cookies. But all I'm going to tell you is uh refrain if you can from eating them.
They are not for you. All right. >> All right. >> Now, another thing uh Okay.
So, a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Uh, don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool.
Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies cuz you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So, now we've learned. Good.
So, now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. But I mean again, we don't have anything to to talk. So let's I guess we keep going and seeing what happens that yes, I think that that is really it at this point.
I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but uh and it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and uh and press play. >> Another thing. And I said another thing.
So that'd be what another one other thing uh that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now Alawishas, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like uh producers going to if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the the new year. We we GOT TO BE RECORDING our whole like best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the there's like things that all the the people do at the end of the year. So, I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and and figure out if we can uh how we can better uh address this and you know, but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about.
Hold on. I'm trying to remember. >> Okay, Natty. Uh, I don't know if that's you thing or who does do we even do we do scheduling?
Is there a calendar or I think from what I understand we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. >> Um, yeah. So, I'll I'll let you handle that.
But, uh, I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. >> Yep. >> We're not even halfway through. So, uh, do you still want to keep going or >> Yeah.
No, no. I mean, I I I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but uh he's really he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good.
So, um maybe he's going to tell us more about the cookies. I don't know, but sure. Let's let's keep seeing what Rufus is about. So, let's see here.
When I was trying to think about, I turned on the faucet inside the house on the I turned on the the little spigot in here and I turned on the hot and little ice cubes, little ice sickles, ice sickles came out the uh the the the the spout. So, it's it's pretty chilly in here as well. So, I don't know if if uh producer he normally does he control all the the temperatures, all the heat throughout the entire headquarters because it's I'm I'm chilly in here. I came out there chilly.
I came back in here chilly. So, I'm trying I want to figure out how to not be quite so uh chilly. >> Yeah, Natty. I think probably producer does handle all that cuz he just anything technical or electrical I just kind of say like you know what you're doing.
So is it possible that he just left and didn't turn the heat on because that >> seems like maybe a real misstep. I uh um you know what hold on a second. I just got a message. This is great.
Good timing. I just got a message from producer. So hold off on the Roffus thing. Let's see what uh producer has to say.
One second. >> Yeah. Hello Nat producer. Sorry I'm on my vacation having a wonderful time and I remembered the couple of things the very important things that I tell you.
Uh do to see there in the studio the the heat and the heat is not on. So don't I wouldn't even bother trying to record when it gets so cold the uh the wires they tend to break. So just you know take a little vacation whatever like I am. It's great.
Uh it's going to be cold in studio. Uh, and also if you go in the studio, do not go in the pantry and eat the cookies. I know they look delicious, but they are frog cookies. Very specific.
Uh, I love them, but they're not for consumption for uh you or Roffus or certainly not Eloishes. Okay, so do not let alicas get into the cookies. >> Hold on. Pause that.
So they this producers just got cookies around not labeled or nothing that are bad for me. Okay. Well, this is good to know. Good to know, producer, wherever you are.
Keep playing the message. I want to hear more. >> Um, also, if you're looking for soup and if you're in the the pantry in the studio, there's no soup. Um, um, um, Lurus has taken all his soup into his room.
And he says any soup that comes into this place goes into his room. So, if you do want soup, distract him and then go get some soup. He's in his room. Okay.
Um, I think that's all I've Oh, wait. Hold on a second here. I'm getting a message. I'm getting a call from from Rufus.
One second. Hold on there. >> Okay. Now, okay.
Now, producer is getting a call from Roffus. Okay. I guess hopefully he'll figure out how to play. Can we hear that?
Yeah. Uh, listen up, producer. Uh, make sure you keep it between you and I about the soup being in my room because I I don't I had a situation where I uh, you know, they ate all my soup and then I didn't have nothing to eat and so there's no soup. And so I I what I did uh, I I brought it into my room here and so I got my little soup shelf over there in the corner.
So just please uh have a wonderful vacation. The everything is perfect here. Just do not let them know uh them natty and eloicious about my soup. All right.
Talk to your new year. Happy baby time. Whatever. >> Natty didn't hear that.
Uh let me Anyway, um have a great time. Okay, I'm going to just hang up now because I don't I don't know. This message has been too long. I'm uncomfortable.
I'm very uncomfortable. >> So, let me get this straight. Roffus calls me. Producer calls you.
Roffus calls producer. This is very strange. And we still don't have heat. We still don't have wires, but we do have See that the we still have poison cookies.
So, this is this is working out well. This is, you know, I think we should have just listened and not come in here and not try to record a podcast. Okay. We should just come in.
When producers here, evidently he's in charge. It's his world. We're just hopping in it. >> Yeah.
No, I I usually I would not agree with you. I would be like, "No, we figured it out. We got it done. We You know, but uh we did not.
We failed and this is miserable and oh well." The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/natty.
patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review.
The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T.
Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.
Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at natty bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Natty Bumpercar: So, we came in the studio today, and producer is on vacation for the end of the year, whole frog thing, he goes home to his family, good for him, and we were like, we should record
Aloysious J. Pig: an episode and we can do this by ourselves, we don't even need producer, and well…
Natty Bumpercar: And we fell flat on our faces, okay? So we came in the studio, it was 48 degrees, which is a little bit chilly, and nothing was working.
Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: And even now, I don't know if anything is working because none of the wires were working,
Aloysious J. Pig: like we plugged everything in and we're like, okay, this isn't working.
Natty Bumpercar: And then we tried some different wires, we tried a whole different system, a different setup, and it also didn't work.
Aloysious J. Pig: And so we're really, we're trying not to complain, because we're like, hey, we're going to be
Rufus T. Rufus: at a PodFest convention, we're going to be speaking, we have all these new people who
Natty Bumpercar: are coming in, they're listening, that's wonderful.
Rufus T. Rufus: And so we're like, oh, let's put out some episodes late in the year and say hi to everybody.
Natty Bumpercar: And this isn't the best foot forward, is what I'm saying.
Aloysious J. Pig: No, it is not.
Rufus T. Rufus: And we're a minute in and, okay, so we're trying not to be negative.
Natty Bumpercar: And our producer is on vacation.
Aloysious J. Pig: And the studio, I didn't know that he comes in and he preheats the studio.
Rufus T. Rufus: I didn't know that that was something that he did.
Aloysious J. Pig: I thought that the studio was always just kind of nice and warm and toasty.
Natty Bumpercar: But it's not.
Producer Dan: And so that's something that we learned today.
Aloysious J. Pig: And we also learned Rufus came in and immediately, I think he got like a step into the studio
Producer Dan: and he just turned and walked away and he said something like, not on my watch, which
Rufus T. Rufus: doesn't even make sense.
Producer Dan: So it's just me, Natty Bumpercar, and Aloysius is here too.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, luckily as a pig, I am immune to cold.
Aloysious J. Pig: And that's not true.
Natty Bumpercar: I'm actually, I, listen, I'm a, I am a pig, I have pink skin. I feel cold constantly. I don't know what the pink had to do with anything. I'm just, I can see my pig breath and everything hurts. Like I sat down on the chair and I was like, this chair is harder than it usually is. Yeah. And yeah, I sat on the couch and it actually, it crinkled like it was frozen or something, which I don't, I hope it's, I don't know why it would be. It would have to be, have been wet to be frozen. And then that's concerning to me as well. Like maybe there's a leak in here or something. But you know what? It's okay. Who cares? We got, we got this thing working and there's so far, there's no feedback and it seems like we're having it. Let's, so let's, you know what? Let's have a podcast. Let's forget the last three minutes of our lives. Hey, Aloysius J. Pig, how are you doing? It's so great to talk to you. Uh, yeah, this is strange. It hasn't been just you and me in a long time. It's usually, we got a producer, we got the, uh, Rufus and you know, uh, I actually, do you remember, it was a few episodes ago, Rufus was talking about when he was a kid and he, they used to have a tomato soup can and they would put, uh, they would record the episode that way. So I went into the pantry when you couldn't get the equipment working and I was looking, I was actually looking for a tomato soup can because I was, how desperate I was. And I was just like, I'm going to make this work. I'm going to figure this out. If Rufus T. Rufus can figure out how to make a podcast with a tomato soup can, then I think I can do this. I think I can figure it out. There was, there was no tomato soup, there was no soup at all. There was some, uh, uh, crackers, uh, that were open and very stale. And there was, uh, a sleeve of some sort of cookie that looked like an Oreo, but it was not an Oreo. I think, uh, I don't know, some sort of off brand. And I tried one and my tongue, um, I can't feel my tongue right now. Is that strange? Is that something that's supposed to happen when you eat a cookie? No, nothing. I don't know. I've never had it before, but maybe that's a new thing. I don't know. New. Oh no. Oh no. I just broke the cold, the cord, cordinal, cordinal, cardinal rule of podcast. I yawned into the microphone. How are people going to come to this mic, this podcast, and they're going to say, oh, I should be listening to this. This is something I should be enjoying. And then the host starts yawning. Oh man. What a disaster. No, it's good. Natty. Hold on. I just got a phone call. I got a voice message here. I think it's actually from Rufus, so I'm going to see if I can get it up to the microphone to see if we can get it to play just to see, I don't know what it's going to, I don't know what it is, but we're kind of floundering here. Hey there, Aloysius, this is Rufus, Rufus, it's very cold outside out there. I did not want to partake in being part of a podcast today, so I came back inside and So far, it's just him saying exactly what just happened, which is perfect. This is good. This is, this is taking the podcast in a whole new direction. Press play, press play. Well, I wanted you to know that there's no soup out in the pantry out there. I brought it all inside. And also there's some, there's some cookies out there. I do not recommend eating them. That's not going to be good for you. I just, you don't need to know a lot about the cookies, but all I'm going to tell you is refrain, if you can, from eating them. They are not for you. All right. All right. Now, another thing. Okay, so a little bit of the cookie mystery is now solved. Don't know what I ate. Don't know when I'm going to be able to feel my tongue. Cool. Um, I guess the lesson there is don't just go eating random cookies because you don't know what kind of cookie it is or what it's going to do to your tongue. Perfect. So now we've learned. Good. So now the podcast has a good learning lesson to it. But also this, this message by Rufus, it just seems to keep going. I mean, again, we don't have anything to talk, so let's, I guess we keep going and seeing what happens. Yes. I think that that is really, at this point, I don't want to say that Rufus is saving the podcast, but it kind of feels like he is a little bit. So I guess go ahead and press play. Another thing, and I said another thing. One other thing that I wanted to discuss was vacation time. Now, Aloysius, I know you're not in charge of the schedule and whatnot, but it just feels like a producer's gonna, if he's leaving for the last two, three weeks of the year, that's a long time for us, especially going into the new year. We gotta be recording our whole best of and our whole wrapped up session, you know, like all the things that all the people do at the end of the year. So I think we should probably talk to whoever it is who does the scheduling and figure out if we can, how we can better address this. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Hold on. I'm trying to remember. I'm pausing. Okay. I don't know if that's you thing or who does, do we even, do we do scheduling? Is there a calendar? Or I think from what I understand, we just kind of leave and appear whenever we do. I don't know. Yeah. So I'll let you handle that. But I'm looking at the message, you know, you can see how long it goes. Yep. We're not even halfway through. So do you still want to keep going? Yeah. No, no. I feel like maybe at some point we're going to cut it off, but he's really, he's really rambling right now. He's really going. It's good. So maybe he's going to tell us more about the cookies. I don't know. But sure. Let's, let's keep seeing what Rufus is about. So let's see here. When I was trying to think about, I turned on the faucet inside the house on the, I turned on the little spigot in here and I turned on the hot and little ice cubes, little icicles, icicles came out the, uh, the, the, the, the, the spout. So it's, it's pretty chilly in here as well. So I don't know if, if a producer, he normally, does he control all the, the temperatures, all the heat throughout the entire headquarters? Because it's, I'm, I'm chilly in here. I came out there chilly. I came back in here chilly. So I'm trying to, I want to figure out how to not be quite so, uh, chilly. Yeah. Natty, I think probably producer does handle all that because he just, anything technical or electrical, I just kind of say like, you know what you're doing. So is it possible that he just left and didn't turn the heat on? Cause that seems like maybe a real misstep. I, uh, um, you know, wait, hold on a second. I just got a message. This is great. Good timing. I just got a message from producer. So hold off on the Rufus thing. Let's see what a producer has to say. One second. Uh, yeah. Hello, Natty. This is a producer. Sorry. I'm on my vacation, having a wonderful time. And I remembered a couple of things, very important things that I'll tell you, uh, due to see, uh, in the studio, the heat, the heat is not on. So don't, I wouldn't even bother trying to record when it gets so cold. The, uh, the, um, wires, they tend to break. So just, you know, take a little vacation, whatever, like I am. It's great. Uh, it's going to be cold in studio. Uh, and also if you go in the studio, do not go in the pantry and eat the cookies. I know they look delicious, but they are frog cookies. Very specific. Uh, I love them, but they're not for consumption for, uh, you or Rufus or certainly not Aloysius. Okay. Do not let Aloysius get into the cookies. Hold on. Pause that. So they just, producer's just got cookies around, not labeled or nothing that are bad for me. Okay. Well, this is good to know. Good to know. Producer, wherever you are. Keep playing the message. I want to hear more. Um, also if you're looking for soup and if you're in the pantry in the studio, there's no soup. Um, um, um, Rufus has taken all the soup into his room. And he says any soup that comes into this place goes into his room. So if you do want soup, distract him and then go get some soup. He's in his room. Okay. Um, I think that's all I've, oh, wait, hold on a second here. I'm getting a message. I'm getting a call from, from Rufus. One second. Hold on there. Okay. Now. Okay. Now producer's getting a call from Rufus. Okay. I guess hopefully he'll figure out how to play. Can we hear that? Yeah. Uh, listen up producer, uh, make sure you keep it between you and I about the soup being in my room. Cause I, I don't, I had a situation where I, you know, they ate all my soup and then I didn't have nothing to eat. And so there's no soup. And so I, I, what I did, uh, I brought it into my room here and I got my little soup shelf over there in the corner. So just please, uh, have a wonderful vacation. Uh, everything is perfect here. Just do not let them know, uh, them, Natty and Aloysius about my soup. All right. Talk to you New Year. Happy baby time. I wasn't supposed to play that. Whatever. I get confused. Natty didn't hear that. Uh, let me, anyway, um, uh, have a great time. Okay. I'm going to just hang up now. Cause I don't, I don't know, this message has been too long. I'm uncomfortable. I'm very uncomfortable. So let me get this straight. Rufus calls me, producer calls you, Rufus calls producer. This is very strange and we still don't have heat. We still don't have wires, but we do have, see that, that we'd still have poison cookies. So this is, this is working out well. This is, you know, I think we should have just listened and not come in here and not try to record a podcast. Okay. We should just come in when producers here, evidently he's in charge, it's his world. We're just hopping in it. Yeah, no, I, I usually I would not agree with you. I would be like, no, we figured it out. We got it done. We, you know, but, uh, we did not, we failed and this is miserable and oh well. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at NattyBumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at NattyBumpercar. Hugs and hearts! See you soon!
The post Bumperpodcast #466 – Season 3 – Cookies appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Natty Bumpercar discusses his frequent distractions, likening himself to a squirrel chasing shiny objects. Rufus T. Rufus humorously corrects him and shares nostalgic stories about using tomato soup cans, contrasting with modern conveniences. The producer mentions technical issues with new equipment. They debate the timing of holiday-themed episodes, with Rufus criticizing early Christmas displays. Natty suggests making their Thanksgiving episode late, mimicking stores’ early holiday promotions. The conversation meanders into a humorous tale about a classmate named Artie Doyle, who aspired to be an author, and the absurdity of his nickname “Tomato Soup Can.”
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About This EpisodeIn episode 465 of the Bumperpodcast, Natty Bumpercar admits he's been distracted again, leading to another delayed episode. Aloysious J. Pig calls out Natty for trying to do a Thanksgiving episode a week after the holiday, just like their belated Halloween episode. Meanwhile, Rufus T. Rufus launches into an increasingly absurd story about tomato soup cans from "back in the day," claiming they contained just one whole tomato and required opening with a goat's horn. The rambling tale somehow connects to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, whom Rufus claims to have known as "Artie Tomato Soup Can" in school. Producer struggles with the new podcasting equipment while the characters debate holiday timing and question whether any of Rufus's stories are remotely based in reality.
Memorable Quotes
“What is the bumper podcast about? It's about me being distracted, it's about me forgetting I have a podcast, it's about me seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“We're gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday. It's the opposite of stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out.”
— Aloysious J. Pig
“We would take a can, tomato soup, because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time. We would use the goat and his horn and pop that can of soup open.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
Topics: #distraction #thanksgiving #halloween #nostalgia #tomatosoup #storytelling #holidays #podcasting
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Aloysious J. Pig, Producer, Robot
Full TranscriptNatty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's
Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's
Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all
Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again
Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um
Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that
Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect
Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing
Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a
Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir
Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.
Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Unknown: Bye.
{“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #465 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Tomato Soup Can”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-465-season-3-tomato-soup-can/”, “datePublished”: “2025-12-02”, “episodeNumber”: 465, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}}
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #465Natty Bumpercar: so i've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often i think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the bumper podcast about and i say it's about me being distracted it's about me forgetting i have a podcast it's about me uh seeing a shiny object and running over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there and and they all require me to uh you know at least give them some of my attention which then does take away from everything else in my life and and that's fine right that's how life it's
Aloysious J. Pig: how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro bro hey it's me aloysius jpeg uh you're not a squirrel okay you're like a uh i'm gonna guess middle age probably past middle age uh person who uh talks into a microphone and uh it's a squirrel thing you know like let the squirrels be the squirrels let you do you sorry my voice is a little off today i might i might have caught a cold or something i noticed that um hey everyone it's
Producer: me i'm producer uh so i think part of the problem this week is it's my fault because we have this really fancy um do that uh technical term that we have on the board we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has um uh slide slidey do's you know the slidey do's and um a screen and uh well i keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on uh not not working not working at all
Aloysious J. Pig: now wouldn't you hear everybody this is uh myself rufus to rufus aloysius i think whatever you got i might have caught as well oh that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at i'm sweating all the time it's too hot i wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so uh you said that this new system it's got some slidey do's now and i told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey do's and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when i was originally doing podcasts back in the day uh i don't you know i don't i know you youngins don't like to hear when i say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we were in podcast what we would do is we would we would uh we would take a can uh tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time uh chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and and we would eat it you know for supper uh one can per family per week and uh we would save up our cans and uh clean them out all good uh and here's the thing when i when i was when i was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you can just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of riley is what we're living we actually had to take a a rock or maybe a a knife sometimes we could take if if if the goat would let us we take the the goat and we'd use his his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open pop like that and then but the edges it'd be very jagged right so we couldn't use them for our projects until you're on okay sorry you're on a real roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now and i think all of us are on a roll right now all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what you what's going on and i do want to come back i want to circle back i want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the the goat all these things sounds very interesting i'm sure it's gonna really draw in the uh the listenership but uh let's focus back over here real quick on on on natty yeah what what has been so distracting to you that you uh have have uh yet again
Natty Bumpercar: forgotten what you're supposed to be doing i um well i i also i i want to i think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know uh i was thinking about it and you know we had i think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the uh we should make this our thanksgiving episode and no uh producer i don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but i um
Aloysious J. Pig: producer don't answer that so listen up natty the the halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after halloween and now we are again a week after thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know because in a way i was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh i kind of had fun on halloween i kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's november and they got july 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's i don't want to say what's wrong with the world today because there's a couple of things but i think one of the things is putting out christmas stuff um on february okay that's way it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait i was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in november oh well i i should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in april in may right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and the it's all it's all messed up yeah now now you're talking about it start living in the past you know we just was kind of back in my day uh so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it wasn't the way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't i still had the green thing on top right the core i guess it's called they say it says on the can it says uh uh there's tomato soup ready to make or something like i forgot what it was but it was you know right now they used to have these pre-planned meals people get on these uh plans and then and then the box will come over to the house and i guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like uh almost like uh what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that
Producer: we had yeah yeah hold on rufus so i think we're going to we're trying to this year's again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but i think we're still trying to fuck but i think we should oh okay no we're gonna stick with the soup yeah perfect perfect perfect
Natty Bumpercar: okay my bad i'm sorry no not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can um so the precursor to these uh home delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like uh like a season packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet uh in in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no um no no was that was that in there no no it was it was nothing
Aloysious J. Pig: in the can except for the for the tomato right and here's the funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had y'all y'all heard about the chicken and the egg i assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you were trying to figure out sorry natty uh i mean the the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed i mean that's how much how much time we spent in school trying to figure out this big mystery out uh uh oh sir off the conan doyle i am assuming you guys were not what you just made a
Natty Bumpercar: okay uh for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull aloysius i didn't know that you sir arthur wait sir r arthur arthur that's a hard word to say sir arthur author author arthur wait no i can't do it sir conan doyle sir
Aloysious J. Pig: jc doyle what is that so his his name so you can cut off the sir right because when i when i when i grew up with him his name was arty so a r t i don't know a r t y r t i e arty arty doyle uh he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but i remember arty he said you know one day when i grow up when i grows up that's what he said when i grows up because that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway arty stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's arty doyle when i grow up i'm gonna be an author and i remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that believe now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old uh look at old arty tomato soup can red in the face that stuck with him his whole life arty tomato here he comes here comes arty tomato soup can oh man the way i look back i can't wait to see him at the reunion no arty it's just tomato soup can whatever happened to him anyway he's you're talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality that you have ever talked about real in any form, in any fashion, in any way? You're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle, who was a very famous Arthur. Wait, now I messed it up too. Arthur. Arthur was an author. Okay. Yeah, got it. You went to school with Artie Doyle. Somebody named Artie Doyle. I can give you that. That part I can accept. But now you're telling me that he stood up, this Artie Doyle, in front of the class, completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who made up Sherlock Holmes, and he said that he was going to be an Arthur? No. Yeah, it's Artie Tomato Soup Can Head Feast. I forgot. Artie Tomato Coop Sam Mace Place. I got confused.
Robot: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Unknown: Bye.
Natty Bumpercar: So I've been distracted and that's something that happens pretty often I
Aloysious J. Pig: think you know sometimes people say well what is your podcast about what is the
Natty Bumpercar: bumper podcast about and I say it's about me being distracted it's about me
Rufus T. Rufus: forgetting I have a podcast it's about me seeing a shiny object and running
Aloysious J. Pig: over to that shining object and picking it up and then dropping it because look
Natty Bumpercar: over there is another shiny object there's a lot of shiny objects out there
Aloysious J. Pig: and and they all require me to you know at least give them some of my attention
Rufus T. Rufus: which then does take away from everything else in my life and that's
Natty Bumpercar: fine right that's how life it's how the life of a squirrel works bro bro bro hey
Aloysious J. Pig: it's me Aloysius J Pig you're not a squirrel okay you're like a I'm gonna
Rufus T. Rufus: guess middle-aged probably past middle-aged person who talks into a
Aloysious J. Pig: microphone and it's a squirrel thing you know like but the squirrels be the
Rufus T. Rufus: squirrels like you do you sorry my voice is a little off today yeah I might have
Aloysious J. Pig: caught a cold or something I noticed that everyone it's me and producer so I
Announcer: think part of the problem this week is my fault because we have this really
Natty Bumpercar: fancy doodad technical term that we have on the board is a we have a new board we've had for a year so it's not really all that new but it has a lot of buttons and has a lot of lights and it has a lot of knobs so many knobs and it has some slight slidey-doos you know the slidey-doos and a screen and well I keep on trying to plug it all in and and see what will happen with the podcast and it keeps on not not working not working at all this is myself Rufus T Rufus Aloysius I think whatever you got I might have caught as well that's what happens in the winter time everybody says oh it's too hot oh it's look at I'm sweating all the time it's too hot I wish it was colder and then it gets colder and everybody gets a cold anyway so it said that this new system it's got some slidey-doos now and I told you you know that was extra money to buy them slidey-doos and we don't we don't we don't we don't we excuse me we do not need it all right all we when I was originally doing podcasts back in the day and I don't you know I know I know you youngins don't like to hear when I say you know like back in my day but back in my day when we was doing podcasts what we would do is we would we would we would take a can tomato soup because that's the only kind of soup we had at that time chicken didn't come chicken noodle didn't come until much later so we had our tomato soup and and we would eat it you know for supper one can per family per week and we would save up our cans and clean them out all good and here's the thing when I when I was when I was growing up the cans they didn't they didn't have these little pop tops like y'all have with y'all soup cans now you can just open them up anywhere you just walk around town open up a can of soup pop and then drink it on up nice delicious lukewarm maybe cold soup in a can oh man the life the life of Riley is what we're living now but when I was growing up we actually had to take a rock or maybe a knife sometimes we could take if the goat would let us we take the goat and we'd use his horn and we pop that little pop you know that can of soup on open like that and then but at the edges it'd be very jagged right so we could use them for our products until you're on okay so you're on a real roll right now and I think all of us are on the edge of our seats trying to figure out what should what's going on and I do want to come back I want to circle back I want to circle back to whatever you're talking about with the soup with the cans the tomatoes the goat all these things sounds very interesting I'm sure it's gonna really draw in the the listenership but let's focus back over here real quick on on on that yeah what has been so distracting to you that you have have yet again forgot what you're supposed to be doing I am I also I want to I think the soup thing might be more interesting but you know I was thinking about it and you know we had I think the last time we recorded was a big we had a big Halloween episode and that was kind of fun and we should make this the we should make this our Thanksgiving episode and now producer I don't know if you're ever able to get in touch with turkey or not but I don't answer that certainly listen up Maddie the Halloween episode that we did was fun but it was also a week after at least a week after Halloween and now we are again a week after Thanksgiving and you're over here like oh so are we gonna be the podcast that does the holiday episodes a week after the holiday you know cuz in a way I was gonna knock it but it's kind of brilliant because you know people might be like oh I kind of had fun on Halloween I kind of miss it oh wait we're still talking about Halloween great great great great it's the opposite of like stores when you go in and it's November and they got July 4th stuff out that's too early okay that's why that's I don't want to say what's wrong with the world today cuz there's a couple of things but I think one of the things is putting out Christmas stuff on February okay that's wait it's too early it's thrown everyone's holiday rhythm off so we don't know when we're supposed to oh wait I was supposed to buy the the pool for outdoors in November oh well I should have thought of that you know no that's not how you put the pool out in in April in May right when we're gonna need the pool not we can't be living in the future or living it sometimes it feels like we're living in the past because you don't know when the holidays are happening and that it's all it's all messed up yeah now you're talking about it thought living in the past we just was kind of back in my day so we had these cans of soup tomato soup and it what would a way it worked but we didn't even it wasn't even soup it was just one tomato sometimes you know inside of a can it wasn't cut up it wasn't I still had the green thing on top right the core I guess it's called like an apple core and you know they say it says on the can it says tomato soup ready to make there's something like I forgot what it was but it was you know right now they said I have these pre-planned meals people get on these plans and then the box will come over to the house and I guess sometimes it's recipes and sometimes it's just like almost like what do they call television dinners where the meals already made and put in the little container that's what it was but it was way before and all it was and it said something like just add water just like that right and so you had your tomato and your can for your tomato soup and you would you would get that tomato out and you'd put it in some water and you'd cook it up and and that was the meal that we had yeah yeah so I think we're going to we're trying to disease again we might do a whole episode on this maybe a whole season but I think we're still trying to phone no I but I think we should oh yeah perfect yeah not your fault at all that that was we had talked about getting off the soup but now the soup has become a tomato in a can so the precursor to these home-delivered homemade meals or whatever they're called so wait so Rufus tomato got it in a can one tomato any specific kind of tomato did it have like like a seasoned packet like anything like that you know like sometimes when you get ramen soup it'll have like the the flavorings are actually there in a packet in the can in the well it's like wrapping cellophane or whatever no no that was that in there no no it was it was nothing in the can except for the for the tomato right and it's a funniest thing that we that was like a philosophical question we always had yeah y'all heard about the chicken in the egg I assume right which came first nobody cares but what we want in school we were trying to figure out is how did that tomato get into that can that's okay you're following me that's what you're trying to figure out sorry Natty I mean the tomato was put into the can before the can was closed and then the can was closed I mean that's how much how much time we spend it in school trying to figure out this big mystery out whoa sir off the Conan Doyle yeah I am assuming you guys were not what you just made a good okay for anyone who doesn't know that's a weird pull Aloysius I didn't know that you Sir Arthur wait sir are Arthur Arthur that's a hard word to say sir Arthur author author author wait no I can't do it sir Conan Doyle sir AC Doyle no what is it so is his name so you can cut off the sir right because when I when I when I grew up with him his name was Artie so a RT I don't know yeah T why are TIE Artie Artie Doyle he you know before he got all fancy and hoity-toity but he stood up one day in class and it was it was not the day that we were discussing the tomato in the can but I remember Artie he said you know one day when I grow up when I grows up that's what he said when I grows up that's how we talked back then we added s's on things you know like we say like look at all those sheeps which we didn't have to do because it's just one sheep anyway Artie stood up one day in front of the whole class and he said listen up y'all my name's Artie Doyle when I grow up I'm gonna be an author and I remember somebody in the back classroom they yelled out you're gonna call yourself Arthur and he got so flustered so so red in the face that bleep now it comes back oh everything comes back somebody said hey look at old look at old Artie tomato soup can red in the face that's stuck with him his whole life all the tomatoes here he comes it comes Artie tomato soup can oh man the way I look back I can't wait to see him at the reunion now Artie just tomato soup can huh whatever happened to him anyway he's just talking about him over there it is anything that you say based in any kind of reality is anything that you ever talk I've ever talked about real in any form in any fashion in any way you're telling us that you went to school with Arthur Conan Doyle who was a very famous Arthur wait now I messed it up to Arthur Arthur was an author okay yeah got it you went to school with Artie Doyle somebody named Artie Doyle I can give you that that part I can I can accept but now you're telling me that he stood up this Artie Doyle in front of the class completely separated from the fact that there's a famous Arthur who and you know made up Sherlock Holmes and he and he said that he was gonna be an author no no yeah it's already tomato soup can head face I forgot it's already tomato coupe Sam mace place I got confused the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family-friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at HTTPS colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius J Pig Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals our head talker is probably Natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at Natty bumper car comm slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at Natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon
The post Bumperpodcast #465 – Season 3 – Tomato Soup Can appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
The Bumperpodcast episode revolves around the hosts’ reflections on missing Halloween due to busy schedules and the subsequent confusion about the current date. Natty Bumpercar expresses his love for Halloween, while Aloysius J Pig and Rufus T. Rufus discuss the logistics of returning Halloween decorations and candy. They reminisce about a group costume theme and the challenges of dealing with return policies. The discussion also touches on the transient nature of seasonal stores and the idea for a podcast exploring the history and disappearance of such stores.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This EpisodeIn Bumperpodcast episode 464, Natty Bumpercar discovers he's completely missed Halloween after getting too caught up in organizing a comedy festival. Rufus T. Rufus reveals that while Natty was busy, the gang went to a Halloween party as a "country breakfast" costume group—with Rufus as a biscuit, Aloysious as orange juice, and someone as eggs and bacon. They even won the costume contest! Now Natty is left with a room full of Halloween decorations, bobbing-for-apples equipment, and no way to return them since the pop-up Halloween store has mysteriously vanished. The episode features hilarious discussions about the ephemeral nature of seasonal Halloween stores, the stress of return desk interactions, and GPS robots with attitudes. Producer suggests they move on to planning the next holiday: Thanksgiving.
Memorable Quotes
“I was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween. I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“We did a group costume. I was eggs and bacon and Aloysious was orange juice… you were supposed to be gravy but you never showed up to the party.”
— Rufus T. Rufus
“I went back to the Halloween store and it was gone. Like tumbleweeds in the store. Gone. They just appear out of night.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #halloween #holidays #costumes #timemanagement #shopping #seasonalstores #comedyfestival #thanksgiving
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer
Full TranscriptNatty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween
Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come
Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got
Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go
Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to
Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through
Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy
Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #464Natty Bumpercar: well happy halloween it is halloween finally man my favorite holiday of the year bar none i i love everything about it i love the candy i love going out and finding pumpkins and and carving up the pumpkins and turning them into jack-o'-lanterns and and what what how what really how did oh come on hold on sorry hold on natty it's uh actually almost middle of november at this point i i know i yeah i know i know i understand i like halloween a lot too but it was weeks ago it was like a long time ago i don't know if you fell asleep i don't know what happened i know you've been really busy because you're always telling everybody just how busy you are but uh yeah i hope i got the receipts for all these costumes and i'm looking around the room here we got uh uh decorations we got is that a bobbin for apples we got we got to return all this stuff we can't sell if we ain't having a uh what is a halloween episode right now then what am i what why did i go to the store and and purchase all this yeah how is it how is it middle of november we should probably could have somewhere in here have any kind of indication as to what day it is i yeah no i see the calendar on the wall over there that's from 1987 so that that's not helping me right now okay that doesn't do anything good at all man two weeks ago i completely missed everything i missed halloween
Rufus T. Rufus: yes yes it was a long time ago i um we actually we did a group costume right and um i was um it was i was eggs and bacon and aloesius was um orange juice it was and then uh the rufus what were you a scone or an oh no yes you were a biscuit that's right that's right and so we were like a we called ourselves a country breakfast you were supposed to be gravy but you you never showed up to the party and so we we missed it and it's yeah but we we it was a lot of fun yeah i think that's right well we can't do a halloween episode now okay we gotta move on to the future there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and you know do everything for so uh yeah we let's just we have a lot of episodes left so let's just put the halloween on the shelf and sorry i hurt my back there for a second uh and then we can uh move on to maybe the types of giving or something we can invite turkey to come
Natty Bumpercar: and he loves to talk on the podcasts and you hit some story and everything right seven an entire holiday i don't even care that i missed two weeks of life but i did i missed i missed i missed halloween what have i been so busy doing what why have i completely managed to miss and ignore and miss not really ignore but i missed halloween how did that even happen somebody got it in the head that somebody had to have a comedy festival they were like oh look at me out of nowhere i'm just gonna invent it inventicate invent invent them uh invent just invent i think a comedy festival and and and you did that and now it's it's you know coming up really soon and it might have already happened i don't even know because i have completely removed myself from that situation and uh yeah maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing it's like you know uh hey wait you guys went and played uh putt-putt mini golf without me what where was i you were building a rocket ship you know it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now and we didn't want to bother you so you missed country breakfast halloween kind of amazing won the costume contest that's right everybody high five in the air high five there you go never won it i've never even been like in the rankings of a costume contest and i i was i was gonna be gravy that's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for halloween i've never been gravy i've never been a condiment i've just been you know it's whatever i can find but rufus i got i got so wait we have all this stuff around all these like decorations and all this can't like can you i guess if it's if we've missed it and if we're not going to do halloween for this episode if we're going to just move on to something completely different what um can we return the stuff it's like do you have all the stuff is that something that can you yeah i do i do have receipts um however we got
Rufus T. Rufus: everything you know when there's a uh a building it was maybe a business and maybe it was just like um you know uh just like a lean through with some sticks and then people aren't there anymore and then the second you blink and it's um september and then all of a sudden it's a halloween store you know it's like there was a hospital over there oh my goodness the hospital close the halloween store like that you know hey remember when we used to go to the park and there was that fun little ice cream place down the corner that's a halloween store we went to one of those right but the thing is once you go to the halloween store you buy the things if you ever try to go
Natty Bumpercar: i was wondering about that because i put it up in my maps on my telephone here and i said uh halloween store and it was trying to send me to sacramento that's far away and i said uh halloween store uh close to me and it didn't understand what that so i said uh halloween store near my location and then the phone had had the gall the guff to say to me uh would you like me to use your current location i said well of course i do i said i what i said was i was looking near my local of course i want you to use my current location i'm not gonna just inventify some place that i'm gonna be in the next hour and 37 minutes like i want to know right now if i wanted to know then then i would i would be asking you then little little map little little map robot i don't even know what his name is but he needs he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude he's got a little bit of an attitude i don't know if you have been driving around with this this little robot and he's always like turn left and i'm like i'm in the right lane i can't turn left right now little robot and he's like you missed just you missed your chance mister your your your new nickname is mr chance because you missed your chance and now you're gonna recalculate why are we still using 2020 whatever this is using the term recalculate you ain't recalculating nothing you just going back into the map and and fixing my flub why don't you call it uh flub refixing or something like that all right because now i'm getting heated i'm getting angry anyway i tried to go back to that halloween store the one where i bought all this stuff because i i forgot i forgot to get the little wax uh vampire teeth that we were gonna have we're gonna have a little game and then i went back it was gone like tumbleweeds in the store gone i think that maybe not this podcast clearly because we can't we can't do this but some podcast needs to do some research do a deep dive maybe one season is where do all these stores go and then where do they come from you know they just appear out of night it's like oh empty shopping center it's a halloween store yeah and then uh whenever i don't know the strike of midnight on november you know i don't know the day because i don't know if they're open like a day after i don't know but where do all these things go where do the employees go are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground or do they go to like a warehouse in caucasus something like that that is new jersey uh that sounds like a terrible podcast it sounds like it would be maybe one maybe one episode it would couldn't just consist i guess you could pad it out a little bit you know do the when i was growing up we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff you know and then like you know when i was you could do the everybody meet everybody in town and how they could talk about when i was here this was a lot of stories and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry skippers store we used to go to skippers all the time whatever it is and then uh you know and then like and then and you know like the first episode is just like the build-up to what the town used to be and you know what now i'm seeing it you can make an entire season out of this that's fine you know and then the halloween store came but no one knew you know it's okay i'm gonna give it that but anyway so uh rufus did you went back to get the wax teeth but they weren't there i think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff i don't does anybody who's if we're not going to do a halloween episode who's going to be in charge of of returning all i think as long as you understand it's not going to be me because i'm not comfortable uh going to the return desk because i just feel like i'm being judged you know they've got like several different lines but the lines aren't aren't labeled as anything and so you you get in the wrong line and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines and you go hey you try to clean up buddy up buddy system hey what are you in here for you know what what are you in for and they're like i have an online order to pick up and you're like oh oh oh i'm trying to return something do you know do you know if it matters if i'm standing and they're like i don't i can't say anything i don't want to get in trouble all right i don't want to lose my spot in line because i'm trying to explain to you something that i don't even know the answer to okay so there's that kind of stress then you get to the front of the line and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there they'll say what do you want and you say i have a return and they say you're in the wrong line and you look around there's no other lines there's there's places for lines and they just stare at you until you move out this line you go to that line you walk through the thing and then bing bang boom you're up at the front but look at that somehow there's a it's just 16 people in the line where you just were and now you're back in the back of the line and you're in the front of the back of the back and if you ever even make it to the front you know if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front then they uh why you know they real they really why are you here huh you know and you're like i gotta return all this stuff okay got a receipt i actually don't have a receipt well do you have an account with us i don't know let's try this phone number that didn't work perfect um what do i have the credit card that i used i don't know what credit card i used i don't know let's try this one that didn't work perfect yeah i've got other credit card you know it's just this ordeal to the point where i just keep the stuff okay then i put it all in the yard sale next year and then it's someone else's problem or gift or whatever you will have i do like to keep receipts because those are legally binding uh documents and uh legally binding uh documents that we got legally binding right and so i keep a record of them i keep boxes of them and then i store the box i put the dates on the box and so i got all these receipts i got all these records but you know i i twisted my toe the other day so i can't i'm not as mobile as i once was so i will uh i will have to i can find the the the the paper trail but i'm gonna have to defer to someone else and i assume aloysius if you ain't going to go in then uh i guess it's all right maybe it's up to you natty maybe oh maybe you producer seems like something you might enjoy going to talking to
Rufus T. Rufus: people and whatnot i'm actually very busy you know uh we're getting ready for the next holiday show's a big holiday coming up uh thanksgiving and everything so yeah i'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you natty you can take care of it you're the one who slept through
Natty Bumpercar: halloween anyway right wait no i will not accept the nickname is gravy that is a terrible nickname and that is not fair and i won't take it but i will take the stuff back because we do yeah we do gravy
Producer: the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with natty bumper car and some of his pals it is family friendly clean and ridiculous thanks a bundle for the money listening if you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast check out our patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash natty bumper car also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts share it with everyone everywhere post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review the bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it's recorded mixed and produced by producer the bumper podcast features contributions from aloicious j pig rufus t rufus doodle poodle robot trunks and a gag all of other silly rascals our head talker is probably natty bumper car we also have an absurd newsletter check it out and subscribe at natty bumper car.com slash subscribe also you can follow me on instagram and twitter at natty bumper car hugs and hearts see you soon
Natty Bumpercar: HAPPY HALLOWEEN, IT IS HALLOWEEN FINALLY, MAN, MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR BAR NONE, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT, I LOVE THE CANDY, I LOVE GOING OUT AND FINDING PUMPKINS AND CARVING UP THE PUMPKINS AND TURNING THEM INTO JACK-O'-LANTERNS AND… What? What? How? What? Really?
Rufus T. Rufus: How did…
Natty Bumpercar: Oh, come on. Hold on, Nattie, it's actually almost middle of November at this point. I know you… I… Yeah, I know, I know. I understand. I like Halloween a lot too, but it was weeks ago. It was like a long time ago. I don't know if you fell asleep, I don't know what happened, I know you've been really busy cause you're always telling everybody just how busy you are. But, uh… Yeah, well I hope I got the receipts for all these costumes and I'm looking around the room here. We got, uh, decorations, we got, uh, is that a bobbin for apples? We gotta return all this stuff. We can't sell it. If we ain't having a, what is it, a Halloween episode right now, then what am I, why did I go to the store and purchase all this stuff? How is it, how is it, middle of November, we should probably coulda put a calendar up somewhere in here or have any kind of indication as to what day it is.
Rufus T. Rufus: I, yeah, no, I see the calendar on the wall over there, that's from 1987, so that's not helping me right now, okay? That doesn't do anything good at all. Man, two weeks ago? I completely missed everything, I missed Halloween! Yes, yes, it was a long time ago, I, um, we actually, we did a group costume, right? And, um, yeah, I was, um, it was, I was eggs and bacon, and Aloysius was, um, orange juice, and then, uh, Rufus, what were you, a scone, or an, oh, no, yes, you were a biscuit, that's right, that's right, and so we were like a, we called ourselves a country breakfast. You were supposed to be gravy, but you, you never showed up to the party, and so, we, we missed you, and it's, yeah, but we, we, it was a lot of fun, can't do a Halloween episode now, okay? We gotta move on to the future, there's a lot of other holidays that are coming up that we need to acknowledge and represent and, you know, do everything for, so, um, yeah,
Natty Bumpercar: we, let's just, we have a lot of episodes left, so let's just put the Halloween on the shelf, and, oh, sorry, I hurt my back there for a second, uh, and then we can, uh, move on to maybe the Thanksgiving or something. We can invite Turkey to come, and he loves to talk on the podcast, and do his own storyline and everything, right? I'm miserable, I'm actually miserable right now. I missed an entire holiday, I don't even care that I missed two weeks of life, but I did, I missed, I missed, I missed Halloween, I'm, what have I been so busy doing, what have, why have I completely managed to miss and ignore, and miss, not really ignore, but miss Halloween? How did that even happen? Well, somebody got it in their head that somebody had to have a comedy festival. They were like, oh, look at me, out of nowhere, I'm just gonna inventicate, inventicate, inventum, uh, invent, just invent, I think, a comedy festival, and, and, and you did that, and
Producer Dan: now it's, it's, you know, coming up really soon, and it might have already happened,
Rufus T. Rufus: I don't even know because I have completely removed myself from that situation, and, uh, yeah, maybe you started to miss a lot of things in life because you're doing such a giant ridiculous thing. It's like, you know, uh, hey, wait, you guys went and played putt-putt, mini-golf without me? What, where was I? You were building a rocket ship, you know, it's like you got bigger things on your plate right now, and we didn't want to bother you, so you missed country breakfast, Halloween, kind of amazing, won the costume contest, that's right everybody, high five in the air, high five, there you go, producer. I've never won a, I've never even been, like, in the rankings of a costume contest, and I, I was, I was gonna be gravy? That's a weird and terrible but amazing thing to be for Halloween, I've never been gravy. I've never been a condiment! I've just been, you know, whatever I can find, but, Rufus, I got, I got, so wait, we have all this stuff around, all these, like, decorations, and all this candy, like, can you, I guess if it's, if we've missed it, and if we're not gonna do Halloween for this episode, if we're gonna just move on to something completely different, what, um, can we return the stuff? It's like, do you have, producer, do you have receipts for all the stuff? Is that something that, can you, no? I do, I do have receipts, um, however, we got everything, you know, when there's a, a building, it was maybe a business, and maybe it was just like, um, you know, uh, just like a lean-through with some sticks, and then people aren't there anymore, and then the second you blink, and it's, um, September, and then all of a sudden, it's a Halloween
Producer Dan: store, you know? It's like, there was a hospital over there, oh my goodness, a hospital, plus a Halloween store, like that, you know? Hey, remember when we used to go to the park, and there was that fun little ice cream place
Natty Bumpercar: down the corner? Oh, so that's a Halloween store! We went to one of those, right?
Announcer: But the thing is, once you go to the Halloween store, and you buy the things, if you ever
Natty Bumpercar: try to go back, it's not there. I was wondering about that, because I put it up in my maps on my telephone here, and I said, uh, Halloween store, and it was trying to send me to Sacramento, and that's far away, and I said, uh, Halloween store, uh, close to me, and it didn't understand what that, so I said, uh, Halloween store near my location, and then the phone had, had the gull, the guff, to say to me, uh, would you like me to use your current location? I said, well, of course I do! I said, I, what I said was, I was looking near my loc, so of course I want you to use my current location! I'm not gonna just inventify some place that I'm gonna be in the next hour and thirty-seven minutes, like, I wanna know right now! If I wanted to know then, then I would, I would be asking you then! Little, little map, little, little map robot, I don't even know what his name is, but he needs, he's got a little bit of an attitude, I don't know if you've ever been driving around with this, this little robot, and he's always like, turn left, and I'm like, I'm in the right lane, I can't turn left right now, little robot, and he's like, you missed just, you missed your chance, mister, your, your, your new nickname is mister chance, cause you missed your chance, and now you're gonna recalculate! Why are we still using 2020, whatever this is, using the term recalculate? You ain't recalculating nothing! You just going back into the map and, and fixing my flub, why don't you call it, uh, flub refixing, or something like that, alright? Cause now I'm getting heated, I'm getting angry, anyway, I tried to go back to that Halloween store, the one where I bought all this stuff, because I, I forgot, I forgot to get the, the wax, uh, vampire teeth, that we were gonna have, we were gonna have a little game, and then I went back, and it was gone, like tumbleweeds in the store, gone! I think that maybe, not this podcast, clearly, cause we can't, we can't do this, but some podcast needs to do some research, do a deep dive, maybe one season is, where do all these stores go, and then where do they come from, you know, they just appear, at a night, it's like, oh, empty shopping center, eww, it's a Halloween store, yeah? And then, whenever, I don't know, the strike of midnight, on November, I don't, I don't know the date, cause I don't know if they're open like a day after, I don't know, but where do all these things go, where do the employees go, are they sucked back down into like some hole in the ground, or do they go to, like a warehouse in Secaucus, or something like that, I mean, that's New Jersey. That is, that is New Jersey, uh, that sounds like a terrible podcast, it sounds like it would be, maybe one, maybe one episode, it would just consist of, I guess you could pad it out a little bit, you know, do the, when I was growing up, we always read a lot of stories and heard a lot of stories and heard a lot of tales about stuff, you know, and then like, you know, when I was, you could do the, everybody, meet everybody in town and they could talk about, when I was here, this was a Skipper's store, we used to go to Skipper's all the time, whatever it is, and then, uh, you know, and then like, and then, and you know, like, the first episode is just like the build up to what the town used to be, and, like, you know what, now I'm seeing it, you can make an entire season out of this, that's fine, you know, and then the Halloween store came, but no one knew, you know, it's okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it that, but anyway, so, uh, Rufus, did, you went back to get the wax teeth, but they weren't there, and I think it's my understanding that we do have receipts for a lot of this stuff, I don't, does anybody, who's, if we're not gonna do a Halloween episode, who's gonna be in charge of, of returning all, all of the stuff? Well, I think, as long as you understand, it's not gonna be me, cause I'm not comfortable, uh, going to the return desk, because I just feel like I'm being judged, you know, they've got like several different lines, but the lines aren't, aren't labeled as anything, and so you'll, you'll get in the wrong line, and sometimes maybe there's other people in the lines, and you go, hey, you try to, you know, buddy up, buddy system, hey, what are you in here for, you know, what, what are you in for, and they're like, I have an online order to pick up, and you're like, oh, oh, oh, I'm trying to return something, do you know, do you know if it matters if I'm standing in, and they're like, I don't, I can't say anything, I don't wanna get in trouble, alright, I don't wanna lose my spot in line, because I'm trying to explain to you something that I don't even know the answer to, okay? So there's that stress, then you get to the front of the line, and it doesn't even matter if there's nobody else there, they'll say, what do you want, and you say, I have a return, and they'll say, you're in the wrong line, and you look around, there's no other lines, there's places for lines, and they just stare at you, until you move out this line, you go to that line, you walk through the thing, and then, bing, bang, boom, you're up at the front, but look at that, somehow, there's 16 people in the line where you just were, and now you're back in the back of the back, and if you ever even make it to the front, you know, if you're ever lucky enough to make it to the front, then they, uh, why, you know, they really, they really, why are you here, huh, you know, and you're like, I gotta return all this stuff, okay, got a receipt, I actually don't have a receipt, well do you have an account with us, I don't know, let's try this phone number, that didn't work, perfect, um, do I have the credit card that I used, I don't know what credit card I used, I don't know, let's try this one, that didn't work, perfect, yeah, I've got other credit cards, you know, it's just this ordeal to the point where I just keep the stuff, okay, then I put it all in the yard sale next year, and then it's someone else's problem, or gift, or whatever, you will have, I do like to keep receipts, because those are legally binding, uh, documents, and, uh, legally binding, uh, documents that we got legally binding, right, and so I keep a record of them, I keep boxes of them, and then I store the box, I put the dates on the box, and so I got all these receipts, I got all these records, but, you know, I, I twisted my toe the other day, so I can't, I'm not as mobile as I once was, so I will, uh, I will have to, I can find the, the, the, the, the paper trail, but I'm gonna have to defer to someone else, and I assume, Aloysius, if you ain't going to go in, then, uh, I guess it's all right, maybe it's up to you now, maybe, oh, maybe you, producer, seems like something you might enjoy, going to talking to people, and whatnot, I'm actually very busy, you know, uh, we're getting ready for the next holiday shows, a big holiday coming up, uh, Thanksgiving, and everything, so, yeah, I'm gonna give this one over to pass the buck to you, Natty, you can take care of it, you're the one who slept through Halloween anyway, right? Wait, no, I will not accept the nickname is Gravy, that is a terrible nickname, and that is not fair, and I won't take it, but I will take the stuff back, because we do need, yeah, we do gravy. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
The post Bumperpodcast #464 – Season 3 – Halloween appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
In this episode, Natty Bumpercar is again joined by Oliver. They talk about the rain, if Oliver is allowed to work, and a bundle of things. Don’t miss this fun-filled episode that captures the essence of the Bumperpodcast’s unique humor and charm.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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The post Bumperpodcast #447 – Season 3 – Raining and Reading appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Tune in to the latest episode of the Bumperpodcast, the beloved improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar goes on and on about a bundle of things – until his brain seems to get stuck on the subject of knives. Don’t miss this fun-filled episode that captures the essence of the Bumperpodcast’s unique humor and charm.
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Transcriptionnatty bumpercar 0:00
He’s always so busy,
never not busy, never not moving, never slowing down going over here going over there. Never stop moving moving all around. Do I even sleep? I don’t even know. Do I even eat? Yeah, my stomach says yes, it says it actually says stop eating as much. Hi everyone. This is Natty bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast. And it is summer. It is so summer it hurts. It is so summer that you can’t even believe how summer it is. And what do I mean by that? I mean, it’s hot. And it has been hot for it feels like forever. Every time I go out of my house, no, I just I melt into a puddle. This book right there. My kids, they want to go to the pool, they want to go to camp, they want to go to a movie, whatever they want to go to. They’re like, Come on, Dad, let’s go. And I go. Alright, just hold on a second. And then I walk out of the door, but it turned into a puddle. And so now what the kids do they know they travel with a bucket so that anytime we have to go someplace, one of them goes out starts the car turns the air conditioning on, the other one goes and gets the bucket and the scoop. And then they know that to tell me that we have to leave a lot earlier than you would think that we would have to leave because they are factoring in the amount of time that it will take for me to walk out the door melt be scooped up, be put into the air conditioned car and reconstitute recompose. I’m not really sure what I’m doing. I guess I’m becoming becoming less gooey. Less gelatinous, more solid? I’m not sure. Now I don’t even know. Right? They figured it out. It wasn’t me. It was up to me. I just want to stay in a puddle for the rest of my days. And then the nights I would probably unpossible because it would be cooler. And then the morning I guess I would just be a puddle again. That’s not going to be good for the resale of the house because I’m right in front of the front door. Usually when this happens. And you know, I don’t know a lot about real estate. Some would say barely anything. But I do. I’m guessing this is me guessing I’m going out on a limb. And I’m saying that having a puddle of goo right in front of the front door. Probably not going to help with resale value. I mean, I again, I can’t promise that. I don’t know what 100% For sure. But that’s what my instincts my chest Ray razor sharp. Business instincts are telling me I don’t have razor sharp instincts you guys I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I didn’t. I don’t have razor sharp anything at this point. My fingernails not razor sharp, my wit not razor sharp. My sword. It’s not even razor sharp. My knives, all of my knives. I was told I have to take my knives to a place to get them sharpened. And I don’t know. I’m nervous about it because I don’t really know what it means. I mean, I understand the concept. You have a knife, you take it to a place the people there. Make it sharp somehow I’m guessing AI robots. Maybe they have I don’t know badger in the back working in the back who has skills. I don’t know how it works, but I’m just freaked out because I’m gonna take all my knives someplace. Then they’re going to take my knives, they’re going to do some sort of alchemy some sort of magic to to the knives and or you’re they’re gonna do first good take the knives and they’re gonna judge me they’re gonna look at the knives and they’re gonna judge me on the lack of sharpness, the just lack of upkeep on my knives. And so I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for that part. Like I’m now getting over the hump of gathering up all the knives. And then you know, finding the place going to the place getting out of the car, not melting going into the place, and then they’re just going to judge they’re going to look at the night Just to kind of kind of probably spread them out on the table or whatever, and they’re gonna look at him, they will, you know, they’ll start picking him up, maybe they’ll even put him in order, like size order or something, they’re gonna start picking them up by the handle, and kind of holding him straight up and looking at him, twisting them in their hand, twisting them back, kind of angling them more. So they’re getting a little bit of a different light. And as they’re doing this, you know, and they keep shifting it around in their hand, they’re going to make these big size
you know, like that. Not like, oh, well, okay, these will look at things. And I know it’s gonna be judgey MC judge person, MC mean, MC knife sharpeners. And then they’re gonna take my knives. And I’m gonna forget to ask how much it all costs. And then in two weeks, or whatever, when they when they say, Hey, we got your knives back. I’m gonna go. And they’re gonna say, we really had to do a lot of work on those knives. And I’d be like, cool, I got it. Thanks, you already made me feel awesome. And they’re gonna go in the back. And they might even give me a ticket when I leave. So they might take my ticket, when I get there, look at the ticket, then make fun of me, then go back to the back and bring out a bag or whatever, of tray maybe of my knives. And they’re gonna put them on the table. And they’ll say, you know, take a look. Maybe, maybe they’ll maybe they’ll even give me like a carrot to cut. Just to prove how sharp these knives now are. Be careful with those. All right, those are very sharp now. much sharper than they were when you like, get it, buddy? Or like, Would you like to cut a carrot? Like you will? Yeah, who wouldn’t want to cut a carrot? You want to cut? We also have, I don’t you probably don’t know this, you don’t remember. But there used to be commercials on the television, where they were selling knives. And they would be they would take a can like a can of soup canopy. I don’t know what some other metal can. And they go like this knife can cut through anything. And they cut through a knife, the can with a knife, which in your mind, you’re like, well, that’s destroyed that knife, that knife is never coming back from that. And then they would go and they’d bring in a tomato. And they would just rush right through it. Like like the like the, the knife was a razor blade, like the knife was a laser razor blade. And they would just cut right through that tomato. And then they’d go back and they would start hacking at I don’t remember what it was a block of ice or something hard. Me Yeah. And then they’d go back. And they they’d say they take a strawberry, a sweet, delicious little strawberry. And they would just so gently cut the strawberry and you just go well, these knives, what are they? How do I how do I get them and then they would tell you how much they were, how to get them who to call how long it was probably going to take for them to get to you. And then you know what, you can also get a second set of knives that are also magic that do the same magical things as the first set of knives that we showed you. Which to me is weird. Because if you’re showing me these on Double Magic blades that I will have I will pass down in my family for eternity. Then why you’re going to I don’t need two sets. I don’t need two sets of knives. That’s a lot of knives. I would go so far as to say it’s it’s an unhealthy, unsafe amount of knives. Like if I’m going to go into a house and I see you know people have like a block on their countertop and it’s a knife block. And I walk in and they go oh look at those knives. Cool. But if I walk in nice see two knife blocks. I’m turning around and leaving. Because you’re someone who has too many knives. I don’t need to be around that many sharp surfaces. And if they’re these magic knives, then they’re very sharp. Very, very sharp. Anyway, back to my knife story. I’m their guy. Oh, you want to cut a carrot, whatever you did. I don’t think they’d bring out a can although, that’d be pretty amazing. And you’re like, Okay, these seem good because what do you mean? They’re knives you’re gonna be like Okay, cut a carrot. Awesome. And then they’ll survive. Yeah, we know we also did this to it. We also upgraded Due to this, you know, we really felt like and you’re like, I just want my knives I want I just, I just want to go home and not have to think about knives anymore. For right now, maybe ever. And then you’re like, Okay, well, what’s, what’s the damage? What’s the bill? How much is this gonna cost forever, and then they they throw out some number. That’s so exorbitant so insanely expensive that you could have gone out and taken, you could have gone to Norway and taken classes on craft knife building. And so you’ve flown, you’re staying there for the two weeks, you are buying the materials. You’re paying for the class, and you’re flying back. And that would have been less money than what they are now charging you to sharpen your knives. And so you’re in a real conundrum. Because there’s the knives. You’ve done everything. You took the mocking you got them sharpened. And now you’re looking at a bill and you you know they have you the work has been done. There’s nothing you can do. Putting indeed it’s gonna throw your hands up. I you know what, I don’t want these knives anymore, but you do because they’re your knives. Way. What are you going to what are you going to do when you get home? People are going to people are going to ask, because you know what people in houses like to do? They like to cut things. They like to cut vegetables. They like to cut fruit. They like to cut meat. They don’t like to cut cans. They don’t? Well, they should. Alright, I’m gonna give a little secret here. I’ve discovered that my child one of my children, we won’t say which one has a tendency to take cans of soda cans of seltzer, whatever it is cans of beverage will say. And he sneaks mountain to the yard. You’re like, Oh, come on. Just let the kid have a Canvas right now. No, he takes the cans and he takes knives like sharp things. And he cuts into the cans. And then he comes in either covered in sugar water or maybe bleeding. What happened? Yeah, I fell off the slide. What? You fell off the side.
Are you okay?
Oh baby. Then you go outside and you see a massacre can and you’re like this kid does not need any more knives at all.
Outro 12:50
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee can alley it’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty bumpercar Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
The post Bumperpodcast #445 – Season 3 – Knives appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Tune in to the latest episode of the Bumperpodcast, the beloved improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this hilarious installment, Natty Bumpercar is joined by the young and energetic Boliver. As the episode unfolds, familiar faces like Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig make their entrances, turning the chat into a comedic whirlwind. The gang discusses the latest happenings in Coffee-Can Alley, delivering laughs and surprises with their trademark wit and spontaneity. Don’t miss this fun-filled episode that captures the essence of the Bumperpodcast’s unique humor and charm.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #445 – Season 3 – Boliver appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, A bunch of random people sneak into the studio and record a whole bunch of nothing. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.
Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #444 – Season 3 – Characters appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Join the uproarious fun in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the top-rated improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this laugh-out-loud episode, Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, Robot, and Doodle Poodle find themselves in a hilarious debate, trying to figure out whether the show is supposed to be about sugar or surgery. As the gang navigates this confusing and comical conundrum, their quick wit and dynamic interactions deliver endless entertainment.
Listeners are in for a treat as the characters dive into absurd scenarios, blending the sweet and the surgical in ways only the Bumperpodcast can. The episode promises a delightful mix of spontaneity and humor, showcasing the unique charm and chemistry of Coffee-Can Alley’s most beloved residents. Tune in to this side-splitting episode and join the fun as Natty and the crew bring their trademark humor to the most unexpected topics. Don’t miss out on the comedy gold—hit play and enjoy the Bumperpodcast!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #443 – Season 3 – Sugary appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Get ready for a laughter-packed adventure in Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, the ultimate improvised comedy podcast that promises non-stop hilarity. Join the beloved characters Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig as they tackle the daunting task of managing their podcast. In this uproarious episode, the gang finds themselves grappling with the excitement of new equipment that promises to revolutionize their show, only to discover that no one knows how to use it. Chaos ensues as calamity befalls the crew, and just when things couldn’t get any crazier, Robot makes a surprise appearance, adding to the comedic mayhem. Don’t miss out on the fun—tune in for an unforgettable ride filled with laughter, mishaps, and unexpected twists and turns.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #442 – Season 3 – The Future appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Natty Bumpercar is finally feeling better. So tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #441 – Season 3 – Better than better appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Dive into the quirky world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, a side-splitting improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners on the edge of their seats. Join the irrepressible Natty Bumpercar as he shares a hilariously harrowing tale of a scary medical mishap. With his trademark wit and charm, Natty takes you on a rollercoaster ride of laughter and absurdity, offering a unique blend of humor and heart in every episode. Tune in for an unforgettable comedic experience that will leave you in stitches and craving more. Don’t miss out—hit play and join Natty Bumpercar on his comedic journey through the ups and downs of life in Coffee-Can Alley!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:00
I’m so strange, so strange. So strange yesterday, I kind of died a little bit, which is I know a strange way to start a podcast, especially the bumper podcast, by the way. Hello, everyone. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is the bumper podcast, your weekly jump into fun, Ray. And so let’s start it off with with that yesterday. Well, first of all, so I don’t know where anyone is here at the bumper podcast. I haven’t seen pig. I haven’t seen Rufus. I haven’t seen producer and doodle poodle, anybody for weeks. And I come in, and I just kind of click on record and it seems to be working. I mean, the thing is, Do I even need producer? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. But that is not the question for today. To question for today is what in the world happened yesterday? What in the world? Well, I got up. And I took one of the kids to school. And then I came home back to headquarters here. And I had a little sip of water because water is good for you in the morning. And then the one of the other one of the kids had left, like a little glass of orange juice on the table, and not very much at all. But I was like, oh, I’ll just finish that. Because as a parent, I’m a vulture, and I just go and I finish off whatever the food is, it’s left around. And then I went upstairs and I was gonna go back to bed because I was tired. And it was Monday. And on Mondays. Sometimes I pass out because the weekends are so much fun. That’s what it is. I’m so tired from all the fun that weekends are. I used to love weekends growing up. I remember man, I’d be like, Oh, I can’t wait for the weekend. Everybody’s everybody’s working for the weekend. Here we go. It’s Saturday morning. Whoo. I’m gonna sleep in and then I’m gonna do fun stuff. And now it’s just like, oh, no, no, as a parent, the weekends got in the way it gets here. Oh, no. And then Monday comes in. I’m tired. But so I got into bed. And my hands were weirdly itchy. Like, I was like, What is going on hands? Why are you so itchy. And they were kind of dry. And so I was like, alright, I’ll just go, you know, like, put some lotion on him. And that’ll that’ll fix that. And then I started to feel and this was happening pretty rapidly. My my lip was feeling kind of weird. And it’s like, All right, well, let’s go check it see. And so I went to the bathroom, and I was I was looking for the lotion, and then I shut the mirror. That’s where it is. And I saw my face. And my lip was gigantic, and purple. And my eyes like were swollen almost to being shut and they were bright red. And then not only was the rest of my face, very swollen. But I noticed that my tongue swollen, my throat swollen and the breathing. The breathing was not good. And so I I grabbed my rescue inhaler, and I did the did that. Just hopefully I was like alright, this will open up my airways. And then I was just like, alright, calmly, calmly. Let’s find the shoes. Let’s make sure we have all the stuff the wallet, the phone, the keys are right. Where’s the jacket? Perfect. Let’s go downstairs. Let’s get to the car. Let’s go to the closest urgent care and I was doing this all as the everything was getting much worse. Like the breathing was just like and the like the tongue it was. I don’t I don’t like tongues. I don’t like to talk about tongues. I think they’re weird and kind of gross. But the tongue was a lot. It was a lot more than it’s supposed to be. And I also I couldn’t talk and so really just around the corner not I would say maybe is three quarters of a mile away from the house is is an urgent care. There’s one that’s closer, which is a CVS, but I looked on the thing and they were not open yet. And so I went to the other one. And at a light, there’s two lights in between my house in this place. So at the second light, it was red light. And so I texted my wife and I was just like, Hi, I’m having an allergic reaction. We’re going to urgent care, period. That’s all I saw at time, then the light turned her send light green, off, we go to the urgent care, get to the urgent care Park can’t breathe, like really can’t breathe, stumble into the place, lumbar into the place. There’s no one there. And I look around. And I guess they heard me come in. And so a woman came, you know, behind the desk, and her eyes got enormous. And she said, can I please have your ID? And I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, because it couldn’t talk. I couldn’t speak at all like, rules. No, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, is how I sounded. But worse than that. And then the woman who there’s another woman who kind of looked in and she was like, get him back here now. And they got me back there sat me in the chair and started taking doing my blood. What is the oxygen levels and the thing around my arm to check my blood pressure, and all these things? And it was great. But they were running around like chickens. They were just running around in circles, like, what do we do? What do we do? It’s Monday morning. This is the first guy that comes in what? It’s not a good way to start a week called labor ambulance call the man ambulance quickly. And so the ambulance comes, but it took them about, I want to say eight minutes. I don’t know pretty sure it could have died that eight minutes. And so they get there. And they’re like, should we do an EpiPen? Do we need to do what have you been? And they’re like, get them on the stretcher. It was all very like, but do this. Gotta do this, get into that. And I, they got me on the stretcher. And they were asking all these questions. And they asked me to write down my phone number because I couldn’t say it. And I wrote mine. And then I wrote my wife’s number. And then I said, I was trying to say hold on do you want me to call my wife but they couldn’t understand it because it came out like this rah rah, love, love. And so I took my phone, they were like, We don’t know what you’re saying. So I took my phone and I pressed the you know, I was like call wife. And then I handed them the phone. And then she got a call from a police officer. And you know, when you get that call, it’s scary. And so she you know, I was talking to him about the situation what was going on? Should she come back? And I was like, No, I got this, you know, and then I get whisked to the ambulance. And they put an IV in me and then it’s Benadryl. And then things start to come down a little bit. They were debating whether to do the epi pen or not. And epi pen is like, the guy was telling me about it. And I wish you wouldn’t have it’s a it’s a tube with a giant needle, he said, giant needle that they jam into your leg and then, you know, like, whatever. And it’s what they do. When I guess you’re going into anaphylaxis, which is not good thing. So they, they were going to wait until we got to the emergency room because they were kind of monitoring everything. And I was I still somehow was getting oxygen. Even though I the breathing was just like wow, right, very rapid. And we got to the emergency room on the thing, and then they get me in there and then they start pumping me full of all kinds of other stuff. And you know, I was plugged in, I’ve got tubes, I’ve got things in my fingers things. There was this a lot. And I ended up being at the hospital for like 10 hours. And because they it was it wouldn’t the swelling wouldn’t go down. Like it was very slow, like, my face would get a little bit better. And I realized that about like, three o’clock that I hadn’t eaten anything since pretty much five o’clock the last day and I was just like and they’re like, What, and that’s because everybody was like What What are you saying what? I’m sure. And they were like, oh food. We have two two sandwiches. I was like, oh, not and they gay and then I just like everyone, Apple car or, or yoga. And they’re like, ah, applesauce, we can give you applesauce and I was like oh Huh.
And I’m texting, you know, people updates. This is what’s happening. This is where I am, this is what’s going on yada, yada. I’ll give you updates as I have them. Yeah, and one of the annoying things was I couldn’t go to the bathroom because of these things tied into me. But eventually I was I was like, I was like, the bathroom. And they were like, okay, hold on, well, unclick you unclick I click, I click. And she’s like, okay, it’s doors right down there. And, and I started walking out of the room. They asked me if I could and I said yes. And I got like two feet out of the room, they had forgotten to unplug, like, some major thing. And it knocked me back. And it almost, and the equipment, like almost fell over. And like, so everyone in the emergency room was like, gasp it says everything. Okay? And I was just like, they were like, Oh, we’re sorry. And then I, you know, I use bathroom. And then like, a couple hours later, things were down enough. My face was okay. And they were like, Okay, you seem good. Okay, called the wife. She and the kids came and got me. And I Yeah, you know, it’s better. Now I was given all kinds of medicine, I’m going to see an allergist, see what happened. And because it was very random, and the only thing that we could figure out was it was this orange juice, because that was all I had. And we were looking at the bottle and it was orange juice that had calcium in it. And then I started researching, and it seems like calcium citrate or calcium phosphate, or some of the things that they put into the orange juice that I maybe had a bad reaction to. And so it was a pretty fun day, pretty much everyone thought that I was going to be dead or die or whatever. And my main fear was that they were going to intubate me. So put like a tube in my throat so that I could breathe, because then my fear was, well what is my voice sound like? Like, how is this going to impact how my voice sounds which I use my voice for a lot of things, talking being one of them, but now it’s all fixed except for the cleanup and the tears.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hearts See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Franco Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #440 – Season 3 – I DIED A LITTLE BIT appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
In this uproarious episode, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the hilariously unexpected Turkey—dive headfirst into the world of podcast management. As they engage in side-splitting conversations with a mysterious someone, listeners are treated to a delightful blend of quick-witted banter and comedic genius.
The episode unfolds with the gang navigating the challenges of running their unconventional podcast, providing a unique behind-the-scenes peek into the hilarious happenings in Coffee-Can Alley. Whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer, the Bumperpodcast guarantees a comedy adventure like no other. Join Rufus, Producer, Aloysius, and Turkey in this episode that promises laughs, surprises, and an unforgettable glimpse into the whimsical world of podcast management in Coffee-Can Alley. Don’t miss the fun—hit play and let the laughter begin!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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TranscriptionAloysius J. Pig 0:04
Yeah, so everybody is gonna come on in, watch your step. Try not to knock anything over. You. Come on in, come on in, come on in. We’ll get we can get more there’s more room in here in the studio. And we can look around a little bit.
Rufus T. Rufus 0:18
Now,
everybody Aloysius J pig here, he’s given us a tour, and
I Rufus T roof isn’t just here, you know, just as for more managerial perspective, and I just kinda, you know, just want to make things go smoothly as we move into this next phase of our project. Yes. And just make sure you avoid the wires. There’s a lot of wires everywhere, but you can see the part that stood here in the things the plugs in everything’s just, you know, just what we were saying. Just be very careful as you come into this space, this studio here, where we do make the recordings for the band
Turkey, I admit it, but you do have a good point. Yeah, yeah, he
Aloysius J. Pig 1:12
does have a good point, you know, with the bumper podcast thing that we’re kind of moving on from that against, but for right now, it’s fine. You know, it doesn’t confuse anybody. This is a studio where we record a bumper podcast, we’re recording a podcast and we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing here moving forward
Manager 1:36
maybe be your manager.
Rufus T. Rufus 1:39
Now hold on one second. Because I’m, I mean, I’m the lawyer but I’m also the manager of the podcast and the whole the whole headquarters here. Just
Aloysius J. Pig 1:50
let him Let him talk. Alright, this Hold on
Rufus T. Rufus 2:03
No, apologies. You just started to be over here, I suppose taking notes and making sure everything stays above the board and that nothing is going to impact the bottom line. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I
Aloysius J. Pig 2:17
think everybody knows what you’re saying. All right. So back to the matter at hand. So this is the studio we used to record a bumper podcast here. I’m Aloysius jpg gets full press T Rufus over there is produced and obviously missing from the equation. He’s Natty Bumpercar We haven’t seen him in a long time. So that’s why we’ve reached out to you
Manager 2:41
because it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad that you called me and I’m looking around here and I can see
Aloysius J. Pig 2:52
all right that I mean that sounds good and a lot a lot of stuff we can do as soon as we can. I mean that makes sense to me. We want to get me well we do when we get started as soon as possible because we’ve been kind of languishing I think is the proper time
Rufus T. Rufus 3:13
again, Turkey is seeing things from a perspective that I feel like none of us even consider it well said Turkana Aloysius What do you think about that? That that that point there that took it just me When
Aloysius J. Pig 3:28
did you intend to become such good pals? This is a nice relationship friendship, whatever, that I had no idea. Yeah, Turkey yet. That does make sense. We don’t want to just like trash everything. Throw everything away. Maybe we can get some storage boxes, we can put things you know, I think there’s probably some room over in the shed.
Producer 3:48
Which which shed are we talking about? Are we talking about the the big shade or the or the Play Stick shade? Or this is a lot of shade around? You know,
Rufus T. Rufus 3:58
I mean, it could be you’re seeing the blue shed that’s out back? It could be the green shed, it’s out front?
Producer 4:07
I mean,
Rufus T. Rufus 4:08
I don’t understand what natty was doing. How do you collect shapes like it sheds is something that you’re going to store stuff in? So why would you just keep getting more and more sheds like we it looks if I look around at corners up there. It looks like we’re like a Mr. Shit like we’re gonna be selling shit at some point. You know? Like, come on down to guess bumper cars crazy shit Emporium. Where you can buy the best stop pointing
Manager 4:49
gonna stick around we’re not gonna do bird we’re not gonna do none of those. Well,
Aloysius J. Pig 4:58
no. Okay, well gonna know tangents that’s Wow, that is gonna be quite different because normally this show exists to just just to tangent like so like we look like instead of a road like uncooked spaghetti which is straight, we look like a bowl of spaghetti all twisted and mixed up and all around the dike that’s kind of you guys think of pasta for lunch? Maybe? Yeah,
Rufus T. Rufus 5:29
I could certainly go over some pasta. You know, this weekend, we got a big game. And so I want to Cabo row.
Producer 5:37
Right, exactly. She’s kind of loud. What do you what is he talking about?
Rufus T. Rufus 5:45
Turkey, you know, so? Yeah.
So listen, so what we do before the big game, is we eat a lot of carbohydrates, because it makes it better have more energy mix was much more, you know, just more of a spark, you know, it gives us a good bit of fuel for when we can go out on the field and, you know, make moves and do what we do whatever them. So that’s what is carbo loading.
And then you’re ready to go. Yeah.
Aloysius J. Pig 6:18
So I think producing is a little confused. What exactly is this big game that you’re playing? And who is playing in it? And what where is it? I don’t know. Just explain a little bit this this whole game thing that you’re talking about?
Producer 6:37
No, no, we didn’t get the email, I guess. I guess, maybe just you and the roof is we’re talking about these intramural sports that you’re doing between different podcasts. And I said, and I checked my email all the time. And I said, I’m looking now there’s no mercy from you. 30. I’m looking in my spam. Sorry, Emily. She’s looking out through everything and they don’t see any messages from any of you.
Manager 7:12
Red Line over there on the red line. Even me
Aloysius J. Pig 7:15
not a red light this mean check Tia, I think it means that the power is on. And I still with that? I
Producer 7:22
think that we’re recording I would think yes, yes, the red light. It doesn’t mean the powder is on it just means that we are recording the things that are transpiring here in the studio
Manager 7:39
recording on the podcast, everything you
Rufus T. Rufus 7:48
know, we got to do here is anytime anybody really goes into the studio, we start recording and the light The light is read over the you know, and that just means that we are recording the podcast and or recording something that you know, I guess well
Aloysius J. Pig 8:12
is we have a difficult time of keeping to a schedule. And you know, these people out there in the world, they want to live there, like hey, we want to know the day and the time that your pod gates is going to come out every single week and we don’t have that capability. And so what we do, a lot of the time is if we’re gonna have a conversation, it’s like hold on, let’s just go talk into studio producer came you know, turn on record and then bang, bang, boom, we got another podcast
Manager 8:49
this is going to be a podcast I don’t even know what kind of a situation I’ve gotten myself into. was gonna come in a few walls. And then be with
Rufus T. Rufus 9:08
I mean, I thought we were just hanging out lollygag and a bit just, you know, just talking to talk a little pod cast, team to podcast, Matt and Mr. We’re gonna knock down walls. I don’t doesn’t make no sense to me. Where’s the budget for that?
Producer 9:30
Yes. So ever reaches the budget is we don’t have any money right now. But what we started thinking about was doing some sort of fundraisers, or the podcast, you know, like, I think we were thinking of maybe doing a car wash,
Aloysius J. Pig 9:47
I will not be washing cars. Do you get me for no sir. I will not be doing that. Duly noted.
Producer 9:56
Then we were also thinking you No going around and sending cookies didn’t even like boxes of cookies, people love cookies.
Rufus T. Rufus 10:08
I do think to be honest, I love cookies and all that. And I think everyone here understands the legal ramifications. So the girls that don’t go around and they sell the cookies every year and we can’t begin that that tour tour is taken, we can’t jump in there, we’re gonna they’re very tough group we’re not gonna I don’t not want to tussle with looking at cookie girls. So I think that’s not a good idea either.
Aloysius J. Pig 10:36
I don’t want to fit. This is an EN tz no tassel endzone. Also, this is an I’m starvin zone because earlier we’re talking about pasta. And then now we’re talking about cookies all of a sudden, so it’s just like that sounds like an entree and a dessert to me, which is a meal and kind of where my mind is now I’ve kind of given up on this whole room thing this is this podcast managed to help or whatever and I think we should probably break for lunch or whatever what time is it whatever it was so whatever meal people eat at at 330 I don’t know
Manager 11:28
talk about you guys are just gonna go to 330 meals.
Rufus T. Rufus 11:36
I’m not concerned about what the meal is. But I don’t know if everybody else is here.
I always don’t like to detract from people who are here especially people who are trying to help us but you’ll your voice is grading it. It’s I don’t know what it is about it. But I do feel like Allah which is if we’re gonna start having people on the show. Let’s talk to him a little bit before we come in the studio. We can tell producer like hey, do not record this. This is not gonna sound good, be pleasing to people
Manager 12:16
and you ain’t even one being I got a podcast and you want to stay
Aloysius J. Pig 12:27
turnkey come on
Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
The post Bumperpodcast #439 – Season 3 – Come On, Turkey appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
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TranscriptionNatty Bumpercar 0:08
All right. Hey, how does work for the podcast like in normal life? If you’re near someone and then they yawn, then for some reason, I don’t know what you but you yawn as well. I do. I don’t know if you do. I think you do. Do you? Why is that? It’s like a yawn response. Like, why are we why are we triggered? I’m just I’m glad doesn’t happen when we sneeze, like one person sneezes, and then the whole table sneezing? That’d be terrible. But yawning, that’s weird to like, why? Anyway, I apologize. I didn’t mean to yawn. This is Natty Bumpercar. And this is a bumper podcast I I had been out and about and I, you know, I’m, I’m working on the show here. Go into the different the different countries where the bumper podcast is on the charts. It’s actually we were we’ve made it to the charts. And, you know, talking to people, oh, they said, you need a theme song. Gotta go get a theme song. I was just like, ah, we okay, we’ll get a theme song. And then they’re like, you know, you got to do everybody don’t have an opinion, you know what you got to do? And I was just like, I don’t know, what’s, what am I supposed to do? And then they tell me all these things. And I, at some point, while they’re speaking, my eyes kind of glaze over. And my brain goes to another place. And if I’m to be completely honest, I don’t know what they’ve said to me. But I’m sure they’ve given me great advice. And then I feel guilty, because these people have given their time to try to tell me, you know, get to help me to tell me what to do. And then I don’t even listen. How ungrateful is that? Tremendously ungrateful? Huh? Well, else is going on. I’ve been working on the railroad, like, Oh, my live long days. But mostly, I’ve been working on the railroad, just just to pass the time away. Because I’m not busy enough. I I like to I like to I have a therapist, I was talking to my therapist about. She said, You seem overwhelmed. seem like you’re taking too much stuff on I was just like, Yeah. And she’s like, but you I know you like to do that. And you told me that, you know, as long as you’re feeling okay, then that’s okay. Are you feeling okay? And I was like, No. And so then she was like, well, then you need to take some stuff off of your plate, and stop doing as much stuff. And I was just like, Okay, that sounds good. And practice, those are good words, have no idea how to actually make that happen. And then she said, Well, your session is over, and come back in a couple of weeks. And by that time, either, you will have figured it out. Or we can work on it then, or knowing you, you’re probably gonna start three more companies and take on 16 more impossible tasks. And I was just like, all right, that sounds like a challenge. That’s your it seems like you’re saying, Can you do these things? And I’m going to tell you right now, yes, I can. I can. I can do all those things. And I’m here to tell you a bumper podcast I’ve I’ve succeeded in doing that. I am quite proud of myself. And I feel like you should be quite proud of me as well. Because I have managed to, not only not complete, not finish any projects, but I have managed to actually take more projects on. It’s very impressive. It’s my superpower. Really, if I had to, you know, figure that I have a superpower I think it’s going to be that I just continually add on to the pile it’s almost like a weighted blanket. It’s not you know, it’s like oh, the world is so nice and calm it’s not but you know, just for the sake of this relaxing the world of this world. Oh spring its spring again. It’s not Oh, look out. The weather’s beautiful and my I’ve had a nice meal again. You don’t haven’t really eaten today, but that’s my fault. There’s not any reason other than me. Okay, Oh, perfect. Everything great. Oh, Ah, you know, and then you go, you know what I’m going to do? I’m not going to take on all a lot of projects, I’m going to take on the appropriate amount of projects, which is not because life itself is a project, taking care of the kids having the job taking care of the dogs, these are all projects, making sure that the car is working properly, making sure that you know, there’s just there’s in life, there’s this massive list, it seems of things you can’t get away from. And you know, those are big responsibility. And make sure the kids brush their teeth. Did they? Do they floss their teeth? Oh, I don’t know. Look, that one’s already asleep. How do I get him to brush his teeth when he’s already asleep? So then, why in the world? Would I go and look for more things, more responsibilities to add on to the file? Now? I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I’m, I’m, I’m asking you a question. Because I don’t know the answer. And I wish I did. Sometimes, I think that what I do, and maybe we’ve talked about this before, I honestly don’t remember, and I apologize for that. But what I like to do is if I just keep adding more stuff on to my weighted blanket of life, then well, I don’t know what I think is gonna happen with what ends up happening is the weighted blanket gets so heavy with all the responsibilities that I can’t move. And then you know what I do? I sleep under the weighted blanket, it’s very warm. I must say. The dogs love it, because I’m not moving so they can just curl right up to me. I had no idea like, I’ve had dogs before, but I had no idea how much the dogs that they’d like to sleep. Like, that’s all they do really asleep. All right, come for podcast. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in the middle of recording a really great episode of your podcast, which I understand is not what we were doing a second ago there. But let’s say that I was recording a really good episode of the podcast. And you know, you’re just really moving and you’re talking and you’re saying things and you’re like, Yeah, this feels great. And then your kid bursts in and says, Hey, stop talking to your computer. And I’m just like, oh, that really, really boils it down, doesn’t it? That really hurts. Stop talking to your computer, dad. Ouch. Ha. Because I mean, I mean, in essence, that’s all I’m doing really is I’m talking. I mean, I’m looking at a computer. I’m talking into a microphone. And, you know, I have I have headphones on so that, you know, there’s there’s, you know, there’s a few things that are going on. But I felt like he had gotten me good enough that there was no reason for me to, to try to retort to try to try to come back. He had beaten me down as only your children can. What was I talking about? It is that’s the thing. This was yesterday. And now it’s today. And I I don’t know. I? I wasn’t ready to you know, I yesterday, I ate oatmeal for breakfast. And today, I ate grits. grits are just little tiny bits of corn. And there were some cheese in it and some pepper and a little bit of garlic salt. If I’m to be completely honest, maybe maybe some cheese, maybe maybe more cheese than I intended. But you know, that’s how cheese works. And they say how much cheese would you like on this year, like, keep going and then it’s always just a little bit more than you anticipated or wanted. And that’s fine. It’s a good problem to have. It’s different than like gasoline in your car. Right with cheese. They say how much do you get like, fill it up? Keep going. Let’s go. And they’re like, What does fill it up mean with cheese? And you’re like, I don’t know, but we’re on this journey together. Let’s see what happens. So you know, if you do that at a gas station, you’re filling your car up and we’re like, what did you What do you want? You’re like, fill it up and they’re like, Okay, no problem and then they do and then you know the little gas handle thing goes click one because that means it’s full. It’s registered that the car is full and gas and you’re like, you know what, let’s keep going there. You can’t because then the gas spills everywhere and And then you know, it’s a fire hazard. Cheese, not so much. The only hazard that Jesus is a fun hazard
for maj hazard. I don’t know what it is. So anyway, you know, I think I was saying something about the dogs being lazy. I don’t know why I think that but I, this is kind of always on my mind how lazy the dogs are, the only time the dogs get up. And this is nice of them is when they have to use the restroom, which is what we call our back yard now because that’s, you know, what happens back there. It’s it’s, and they get up when they when they’re hungry. And they get up to, to bark, sometimes to shake, you know, a lot of shaking going on. Little ear scratching, that’s gonna it’s gonna happen probably two or three in the morning. Which is I think why they sleep all the time. I think the dogs sleep all the time, because they don’t just sleep through the night. And they don’t let me sleep through the night. And I think that the message they’re trying to tell me is, hey, you know what, why don’t you just hop on our schedule here and curl up into a ball, find one ray of sunshine, curl up in that little ray of sunshine, and pretend that it’s really warming you up? It’s not, but you can pretend it is. My assumption is that my dogs have very good imagination, and that they can really, you’re like, Yep, this is it’s woof, the sun is really giving it to me here. It’s kind of like when the door opens. And there’s a couple of birds in the backyard. And they run over to what I can only assume is to talk to the birds. Let them know hey, what’s going on? I haven’t seen in a while ah, spring is coming up. But then do the birds always fly off because they don’t want any part of that conversation. Right? I don’t know. I would love to have that conversation. I would love for spring to be here. Because you know what happens when when spring rolls around? Well, I get to sleep better because the time change is nice. There’s sun and there’s vitamins. And the most important thing of all, and I think you’re gonna agree with me then this thing here but Bob louder is that there’s a lot of cheese
Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
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Welcome to Coffee Can Alley! Welcome to the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproariously silly improvised comedy. In this episode, Pig tries to get to the bottom of some things while Producer and Rufus T. Rufus do anything but figure anything out!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page
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Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar does some lamenting. A whole lot of lamenting.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
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Step into the whimsical world of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, your go-to destination for uproarious improvised comedy. In this side-splitting episode, join the eccentric gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and the ever-baffled Natty Bumpercar. Things take a hilarious turn as Natty finds himself utterly confused about the mysterious events of the last episode. As the gang attempts to unravel the comedic chaos, listeners are in for a rollercoaster ride of laughter and unpredictable moments.
But the confusion doesn’t end there—Producer takes the reins and rolls out an end-of-the-year top ten list that will leave you in stitches. With their signature blend of quick wit and offbeat humor, the Bumperpodcast delivers a one-of-a-kind comedy experience that keeps you entertained from start to finish. Tune in for the laughs, stay for the camaraderie, and join the gang as they navigate the comedic mysteries of Coffee-Can Alley in this unforgettable episode. Don’t miss the fun; hit play and dive into the laughter-filled world of the Bumperpodcast!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
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Step into the comedic chaos of Coffee-Can Alley with the Bumperpodcast, an uproarious improvised comedy podcast that keeps listeners in stitches. In this ridiculous episode, the gang, including Santa, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig, and Doodle Poodle, finds themselves in a rib-tickling predicament—Natty is nowhere to be found! The episode unfolds with unexpected twists and turns, showcasing the cast’s penchant for tomfoolery.
Listeners are in for a treat as the search for Natty takes the gang through the whimsical landscapes of Coffee-Can Alley, filled with laughter and merriment. Whether you’re a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode of the Bumperpodcast is a delightful journey into the world of improvised comedy, where every moment is as unpredictable as it is uproarious. Don’t miss out on the laughter; tune in to discover the comedic magic that unfolds when Santa and the gang wonder, “Where is Natty?” in this entertaining installment of the Bumperpodcast.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
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In the episode titled "Bagel," the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, meet Engineer- who calls Rufus 'Bagel.'
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The Bumperpodcast is an uproarious improvised comedy podcast set in the zany town of Coffee-Can Alley. In the episode titled “Birthday,” the gang, including Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig, gathers to forget Natty’s birthday with a delightful twist: they break into song! Prepare to be entertained as the characters belt out a […]
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“Attendance” is a lively and humorous episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast that takes place in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar takes center stage as he delves into a range of comical topics, including the trials and tribulations of dealing with messy children, the absurdity of promotions, […]
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“Private Eye” is a thrilling and hilarious episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the colorful world of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar and Aloysius J. Pig encounter a Private Eye who is grappling with their own identity struggles. However, despite their personal challenges, the Private Eye agrees to lend […]
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“News” is a side-splitting episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the wacky town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, Natty Bumpercar, Rufus T. Rufus, Producer, and Aloysius J. Pig engage in a series of humorous tangents as they attempt to discuss some exciting news. As they get sidetracked by everything from current events to bizarre hypothetical scenarios, the gang’s banter becomes increasingly absurd and comical. Despite the numerous distractions, the gang eventually receives the exciting news they were waiting for, leading to even more hilarity and unpredictable twists. With its quick wit, playful banter, and unexpected punchlines, “News” is a prime example of the Bumperpodcast’s ability to create unforgettable improvised comedy. The show celebrates the art of improvisation, and this episode is a testament to the cast’s comedic talent. Listeners will be entertained from beginning to end, as the gang navigates their way through the absurdity of Coffee-Can Alley with humor and grace. “News” is a must-listen for anyone looking for a good laugh and a break from the mundane.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar Another story about saving baby animals! A feel good story! Previous episode!
Show Transcript:
Natty Bumpercar 0:00 For you guys, you guys, you guys, you guys. You guys. You guys. You guys. Aloysius J. Pig 0:07 What is it Bumpercar What’s so excited about what you’ve seen he came in really hot, you seem very excited I am I’m super excited. But I’m also Producer 0:15 really bothered just nippy, I didn’t do what you are super excited about. But maybe you want to tell us because your team very happy Natty Bumpercar 0:23 I am producer but the house will have a problem I have I have something that I’m super excited about. But then I also have something that I’m kind of frustrated and bothered about. So which one do you want first? Rufus T. Rufus 0:33 Well, not here as your lawyer. I recommend that we’re gonna get the bad news out of the way first, and then we can end on the high note. Because you know, that’s what I think it’s a better way to do business. Aloysius J. Pig 0:49 You know, Rufus has a point because I always said you’re just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down into that same way that CRD it opposite roofers, that when you get the good news fires, and then it softens the blow of the of the of the bad nose. So I don’t know, I guess we’re of two minds, Producer 1:08 or two seems like a lot of sugar that you’re taking a whole spoonful, it’s going to definitely go over your daily requirements of sugar. So yeah, that seems like it’s a bad equation. You know, if you’ve got to take your medicine, you just kind of let it go medicine, you don’t have to be taking all of it. Sugar as well. And you know, they say if you’re sick, you don’t want to be taking a lot of sugar. Natty Bumpercar 1:31 Okay, yeah. Well, that’s, that’s that’s a good point. I you know, I Rufus, I see what you’re saying, you know, bad news, get it out of the way. Good news. And on a high note, pig, I see what you’re saying. Also, the good news is going to ease you into the bad news. And, and and producer, I think you’re right. I think that probably too much sugar isn’t really going to help if someone is sick. And you know, what kind of medicine is it that we’re taking that you’re going to need a spoonful of sugar? And is it just a spoonful of sugar? And then is it a spoonful of medicine? Because that one to one ratio is just not going to be good? I’m gonna have to reach like, if you ever tried to eat a spoonful of sugar, it is not easy Rufus T. Rufus 2:16 at all. Now not as your lawyer it’s me. Hi, everyone. It’s Rufus here. We are not a medical advice. No. And so I’m hesitant for you to be out here with your equations and your representations. And your I don’t know you’re just kind of spewing some medical advice and I don’t think we’re comfortable and number one be telling you Okay, so watch ourselves a little bit here. i So, what we will do is everyone please ignore nine, the sugar medicine that was that was previously discussed on this bar now. Okay. And I think we may not it will just move forward with whatever your big news is or whatever. Okay, okay. Natty Bumpercar 3:08 Okay. Totally makes sense. Totally agree. Yeah, I don’t really think we were giving medical advice, but you are the lawyer so I will listen to you. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I have two numbers. In my head. Pig. I’m gonna let you count the numbers that Aloysius J. Pig 3:24 are between 711 Seven left seven. Natty Bumpercar 3:27 You went a little too fast there. I didn’t tell you what they were in between. So pickle is in a pickle. No, that’s also that’s actually not even a number. That’s it’s yeah, Aloysius J. Pig 3:37 it’s delicious. Are you gonna agree that pickles are wonderful. You get sweet pickles? You got sour pickles? You could sometimes I spicy pickle. I mean pickles. Really? They could they run the gamut of different kinds of I don’t know if they what are they called? They’re not condiments are not side items. What does it pick up? Exactly? Rufus T. Rufus 3:54 I think that the word you’re looking for as a contract ma I think what you’re looking for is kind of a flourish you know on a plate. I think a pickle is one of those things. It’s an add on the just elevates your meal a little bit. Let’s say I’m having a butter sandwich which is of course delicious. You take your bread and you put your butter on and then you sprinkle a little a little sugar and the Producer 4:24 sugar there. Yeah. A lot of sugar. Rufus T. Rufus 4:27 We’ve been sponsored by big sugar this week. Nothing sugar. Did they call him Natty Bumpercar 4:31 no no excuse. No one called in and watch the microphone. You just ran into it? No, but first off I’ve never had a butter sandwich. That sounds great. It sounds really great. But so it’s it’s it’s it’s bread and butter and then sugar and then more bread. Yeah, that just I I don’t see any nutritional value coming Any any of that? Really? Yeah. And Aloysius J. Pig 5:01 I’m wondering, what is real fish with a woody giving you this butter sandwich with the sugar before they were giving you some sort of medicine? Just a sandwich and helps that. And with I don’t know what I was doing there Yeah, Rufus T. Rufus 5:23 you will you would be ruining the whole day we were here we were talking about butter sandwiches. It’s a delicious treat. And we were talking about pickles, and I finally figured out what they are the Okay, just don’t worry. Natty Bumpercar 5:39 Don’t worry about it. Cool. I don’t want to talk about pickles anymore. Producer 5:43 Hold on one second that they pickled is actually a cucumber then. So it’s like you magically you take the cucumber, and you just have to do some I don’t know things to it, and then it becomes a little bit of a pickle. Aloysius J. Pig 5:57 Everybody knows what a pickle is? Producer 6:01 Not a yes or no, no. Aloysius J. Pig 6:03 Why don’t produce Why don’t you go back behind the board. You’ve done a lot of talking done today’s episode. And you just handle the buttons and knobs and the tubes and the wires and everything back there. And oh, come on pump like I was you know, yeah, we’re like 17 minutes into we’re not we’re not and I finally I’m ready. I’m actually what it is, is I’m not ready for the news. But I’m just done with this whole thing. Whoa. And so I’m ready to be done. Okay, if that’s okay, yeah, that’s Natty Bumpercar 6:30 totally fine and totally understandable and totally acceptable. So, here’s the news. The good news, and it’s pretty phenomenal, I think, is that the bumper podcast just past 80,000 listens in the time that 80,000 listeners to this podcast since we started. Rufus T. Rufus 6:54 A lawyer here. Let me just get some papers out here are 80,000 I feel like we have reached some sort of out here. We have a contract threshold here and the contract. Yeah. Yeah. At 8000 and every 20,004. After that. We are on to receive a PayPal. Aloysius J. Pig 7:19 So we get paid. Rufus T. Rufus 7:23 A percentage, I think. I suppose I can circle up and I’m gonna come back on this if you don’t mind, because my list is wonderful news. Congratulations to everyone. Yeah, good job. We should have some sort of a party, maybe get some sandwiches and put some pickles. Aloysius J. Pig 7:43 Don’t come Don’t do that to him rule for you. Wow, good job. Bomberger. Everyone is super thrilled at the bumper podcast, it’s been listened to over 80,000 times. That’s amazing. And we’re why like 430 episodes in 12 years, can somebody do the math and tell me like, What is that like eight listens per episode? Like two, two lessons per year? Like what is it a good number I don’t even know allergies. Producer 8:10 I know, I’m not supposed to talk, but I respect her crunching some numbers and I came up with this. So 430 episodes, it means divided by, well, you have 280 1000 divided by 430. And it comes up to like 187 episodes. Okay. And then if you think there’ll be deeper Rufus T. Rufus 8:34 now, it was a one second I don’t I don’t mean to interrupt, because these wonderful numbers you’ve come up with. But I was wondering, can you make some sort of spreadsheet with some sort of shot? Maybe a bar chart? Maybe it’s a good idea? I don’t know. Maybe it’s some sort of a pie chart or something. Natty Bumpercar 8:51 Now you now you’re talking I did not enjoy the reference to the pickle party. But I very much enjoy the reference to a pie chart because I think you all know I love a good pie. Yeah, I Aloysius J. Pig 9:03 mean, how could you not pie pie pies? Pies. Good. Because you can have a sweet pie. You can do like an apple. Or like Apple rhubarb or strawberry rhubarb. A little berry is another good pie. Rufus T. Rufus 9:19 I mean, you can do a Marang also, you can do like lemon Marang you can I mean there’s so many options for pie. Producer 9:26 You know, was one of the talks about the numbers but nothing we’re talking about bias. You can have sweet pies you can have savory pies, which are just delicious. You know, you can have like a good dumpling kind of pie. Or you can have a minced pie I don’t know really what that is. You can have a Thanksgiving pie Natty Bumpercar 9:49 weird Turkey you didn’t show up for the Thanksgiving episode you forgot to come I guess. But now you just appear when when when when producer mentioned A Thanksgiving pie I Producer 10:09 completely understand and you know, I was not going to be in tentative, I was just going to go over the numbers, and we were talking about pies. And then I got a little bit over my skis. But really quickly, I just wanted to tell everybody, so if you take the numbers or 800,000, I think we’ve been doing this or something like 12 years, and you divide the 8000 by 12 years, you come up with how many episodes are no Debbie, listen to? You don’t think of that. Natty Bumpercar 10:39 Yeah, that sounds like yes, I would very much like to hear that. I mean, it’s not going to be super representative, because I’m sure as less listens in the beginning that maybe it is now but yeah, tell us what, how what that number breaks down. Producer 10:50 Okay, with everyone from freaking the one out but if you divide 1000 by 12, you know, the year, it comes up to 6,666.66666? Rufus T. Rufus 11:05 Nope, you’re gonna we’re gonna either than we we’ve been doing it shorter or longer, because that number is not acceptable. And that is the good news was the 80,000. That’s the bad news. And is that we just does this doesn’t seem acceptable to me at all. Bad luck home in Canada Natty Bumpercar 11:20 number. No, it has nothing to do with the bad news that I think that that number is totally random. And you know, we’d have to go back and look at see when we actually started and everything because I don’t really no, but no, don’t let, let’s let’s not freak out about that. We’ll just say it was around 6500 per year, roughly. And then that feels a lot better. I agree. But no, no, no, no, that’s this is all great news. This is all the good news. Good news. 80,000 listens way to go. Bumper podcast. Thank you so much bumper podcast, good tears. You know, we’ve been on the non pro network. We’ve been on the shining wizards. Podcast Network. We’re currently on Radio Free Montclair. So it’s great. We’re doing things. I appreciate it. But we also have some bad news. I think we have time that I should probably talk about Aloysius J. Pig 12:11 that. Yeah, you should probably get to it. What is the what is the bad news? Natty Bumpercar 12:14 Well, the bad news is I don’t know if you listen to the last week’s episode, but that guy still has all of our equipment and so we haven’t even been recording this. I’ve this is just a brick that I put in front of you all and this isn’t really an episode. This was we didn’t have an episode this week, right. Outro 12:42 The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon. NonPro 14:01 This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Subscribe The post Bumperpodcast #428 – Season 3 – News appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
“Storage Wars” is a hilarious episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the quirky town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, a new character named Sir Reginald makes an appearance and stirs up trouble as he lays claim to the gang’s storage facility that contains all of their podcasting equipment. As the gang tries to fight back, they engage in a series of witty and zany banter that will have you laughing out loud.
The episode also features the return of beloved characters Rufus T. Rufus and Aloysius J. Pig, who lend their unique personalities and comedic talents to the show. As the gang attempts to outsmart Sir Reginald and regain their storage facility, chaos ensues and hijinks ensue. With unpredictable twists and turns at every corner, “Storage Wars” is a must-listen for anyone looking for a good laugh. The Bumperpodcast is a show that celebrates improvisation and spontaneity, and this episode is a prime example of its comedic genius.
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
Another story about saving baby animals!
A feel good story!
Previous episode!
Show Transcript:
Sir Reginald 0:03
Get out, get out, get out.
Who are you? And
why are you here? I have purchased a storage container with all of these monies. And everything that is in here is mine. Are you doing coming in trying to rifle through on my good deeds, the things that I have purchased? Who are you? And what is your business? Oh, okay.
Natty Bumpercar 0:33
Wow, Hi, sorry. I’m Natty Bumpercar. And this is my storage container. And I, I don’t know what’s going on because I was supposed to be paid up through the entire year. And so are you telling me that the management like sold my storage unit to to you have
Sir Reginald 0:55
no bearing you have no business here? I have the deed of goods, I have the deed of rent, I have the receipts right here. And so what you will do is, accept this property. Be on your way? No,
Natty Bumpercar 1:15
no, I’m actually no, I’m not gonna. First off. You don’t own the whole property for the storage unit building here. But also, this wasn’t, this isn’t right. We’re both gonna have to go and find like, I guess the guy who’s running the place or manager, whatever, and sort this out, because obviously, this is a huge misunderstanding. And yeah, we’re gonna figure it out. I’m not gonna get too freaked out or angry. But I am kind of frustrated right now. So hold on one second. I just have to send a quick call. And we’ll we’ll get this figured out.
Sir Reginald 1:54
No, I say no, I am not on your time. You are on borrowed time, even just being here. You shouldn’t be here. You do even have you walked away. He doesn’t even have a storage unit here. And the more you know how I know because it’s now my storage unit and them friend thing I see. And now many boxes, many crates. Many containers of such right goods are all mine.
Natty Bumpercar 2:28
I’m back. Just my friend was in the car. And oh, hey, hey, Ruth. Rufus. Please help me please. Hi. Yeah.
Rufus T. Rufus 2:39
It’s a lot of lows matter now. Have what is it? I was just in the car, doing my saw duco and I need to say so myself. Can you focus with the numbers? I’m more of a word. Oh, sorry. Who’s this gentleman now,
Natty Bumpercar 2:58
I don’t know his name, but he claims that he purchased the storage unit, which has all the equipment and everything in it. And not He’s not letting me go in. And I don’t I think it’s a misunderstanding. But I don’t I don’t I don’t really know what’s going on.
Rufus T. Rufus 3:15
Now. Hello. My name is Rufus T. Rufus. I’ve accidentally run out of business cards. I would of course, give you one. If you want to just jot it down though. It’s Rufus Are you f u s, and then the T you understand Rufus? Again I you asked us and I am lawyers. I’m privileged to make your acquaintance. And how can we settle this? This seems like a little bit of a
Sir Reginald 3:51
miscommunication perhaps we do have documentation you understand? Oh, so you’re a lawyer? Is that what I’m to understand? Oh, I’m so terrified. I’m shaking in my boots. Why don’t you just take yourself outside away from me and y’all can figure out whatever you’re going to do out there. Well hmm not he’s not very nice. Just I don’t know. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should regroup with something outside.
Natty Bumpercar 4:25
I know. I think we should probably just stay here and figure this out. I don’t even know his name. i Oh, hey.
Aloysius J. Pig 4:34
Yeah, what’s going on? Everybody hurt pig how’s it going? What are we doing who’s this? Who’s this dude? I got I got all I got the food and the Chi waited but it didn’t all in the car. So I think if we did you get whatever you need it for the podcast and then we can go that’d be fine with me. And very interesting. You
Sir Reginald 4:54
have podcasting equipment in here. Well, I’m I really have struck gold. I really would have won the lotto as they say yeah, I can sell everything for 10 times the amount that I paid for this little box of stuff. Oh, I think that is what I will do.
Aloysius J. Pig 5:19
Okay, can somebody cuts me up on this situation and also what was with the stuff you sounded like you ran out of words is something these big box tests this guy’s hilarious Is this your new friend Natty? I don’t know. Exactly Reggie
Rufus T. Rufus 5:35
you seem like more of like when a roof is friends. It’s hard to be completely on now Aloysius, I appreciate that you, you know, tribute him to being one of my friend but we I just now made the acquaintance of this gentleman. And it was it was not a good meeting. It was I would go so far as to say a bad meeting. And the situation is that evidently, the storage facility has sold our our space out from under us with all of us stuff in it, you understand? And so not to came here to kind of figure out where stuff was and then he couldn’t get in because this gentleman was standing in the door and now we can catch him now.
Natty Bumpercar 6:23
Rufus? What just happened to your voice? It you kind of sounded a little bit. I don’t know. European kind of like that guy. Is it just from hanging out next to him that you’re starting to take on his is accent a little bit?
Sir Reginald 6:39
I don’t think he sounds anything like Matt’s Oh, he sounds like pollywog if I’m to be completely factual, and listen, you have no standing here. I am not friends with you. I have not met you. You are just interloping you are just in my way. And if you do not leave, I will have to call the constable and they will come in and they will take you away to switch so
Aloysius J. Pig 7:05
cool. Cool. Cool. I’m gonna go again. I’m gonna go to the car. Because I’m gonna I’m hungry. And that’s where the food is. But yeah, interesting little pickle. You got yourself in here again. Bumpercar. Good luck figuring it out. And you didn’t tell him about all of the s Nake s data in the storage. I can’t spell storage. Might certainly can’t spell facility.
Sir Reginald 7:45
Did you want to even talking about what kind of play the blather is this? You’re telling me that there are? What was this again?
Aloysius J. Pig 7:55
Yeah, I said Dara s. And a ke s in this? Dire edge. Fusce selati. You see what I’m doing there? Now hold on everybody.
Rufus T. Rufus 8:14
You could tell on me that the storage facility is full of snacks because I am hungry. And I know there’s food in the car. But if I’m here, and there are snacks right here, why not just have a taste or two? You know,
Natty Bumpercar 8:28
I can’t even fathom that. You’re my lawyer. No, pig, I did not tell him about the s in a kes center. loaded all through the storage facility. Of course, sure, there is some podcasting stuff that we use to make the bumper podcast and that we had to put in the storage facility because we went away for a little while. But there’s also a lot of the thing that you are mentioning. There’s not an S there. Sorry, I
Rufus T. Rufus 9:07
feel so smart. Don’t you think that you’ve got me over a barrel that you’re over here? Spelling all your words. I know exactly what I said. A ke I saw I went to the wall of Butan School for Young prospective gentleman and so I am sarolea Oh wow. And understanding that you’re saying that this whole facility is riving with snakes. And with that, I’m going to have to bid you adieu because I’m highly allergic to snakes. I don’t know how you found my one weakness in the world but i i relent I’m now going to rip this piece of paper up that says that I And the proper owner of the facility goes double rips can’t believe I’ve been foiled like this by a pig
Aloysius J. Pig 10:20
that was pretty anticlimactic you just you’re allergic to snakes you’re given up after all that you’ve been yelling at us for 10 minutes and you’re just saying goodbye i usually these things you know they can be drawn out for months like like we’re all standing here for months talking about the storage thing, but you have not he’s he’s walking away yeah. Very strange thing.
Natty Bumpercar 10:48
I kind of don’t believe Hold on let me look at these pieces of paper that he just hey, Rufus. Can you just try the door real quick while I’m trying to put these pieces of heat he double ripped it so that means it’s it’s serious I
Rufus T. Rufus 11:11
can actually hold
Natty Bumpercar 11:12
on No, what’s the key here? Okay, here there go description
Rufus T. Rufus 11:19
alright, I’ll go over and check the DOJ seems like I should be looking at the documents because I’m not really a key man you
Aloysius J. Pig 11:33
natty the lock evidently he locked it before he ran away and it’s a different key than the key that we have so we ain’t gotten okay to get into the once you figure out what the pieces of paper so
Natty Bumpercar 11:47
when I got the pieces of paper back it’s a it’s a menu for a local restaurant and that he must have just had and on it he he wrote hahaha. To the victor goes the spoils and then it says tallyho you fools and that’s it. No signature anything that’s not a contract Natty. I
Aloysius J. Pig 12:18
just want to point that I even serious with this. We know it’s not a contract. The man gave us a menu and then ran away with the keys to locked off we lose this time.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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The post Bumperpodcast #427 – Season 3 – Storage Wars appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
“Gramps” is an episode from the Bumperpodcast, an improvised comedy podcast set in the whimsical town of Coffee-Can Alley. In this episode, the show introduces a new character, Gramps, who adds a new layer of humor and craziness to the already lively town. Gramps, with his wild stories and unique personality, quickly becomes a fan favorite.
The episode also features the return of familiar characters such as Rufus T. Rufus, Aloysius J. Pig, Doodle Poodle, and the always reliable Producer. As they all come together, the town of Coffee-Can Alley becomes a hub of comedic chaos as they engage in a series of improvised sketches and scenes. From witty banter to off-the-wall jokes, this episode is sure to have you in stitches. The Bumperpodcast is a celebration of the unexpected, where anything can happen and no two episodes are ever the same.
(I have started using AI to write my show descriptions. They are marvelous!)
Links:We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Email us at bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com.
Cute old stuff:Another story about saving baby animals!
A feel good story!
Previous episode!
Show Transcript:
Gramps 0:05
bother. I ain’t got time for nothing. I checked my calendar and schedule is awful up. I don’t have any, any even I don’t even I don’t. I don’t have even any time to even think about doing anything. And hey, girl, Hello,
Natty Bumpercar 0:28
how you doing? What’s
going on? What do you do?
Gramps 0:31
I saw this telephone set up and I was trying to make a phone call to the doctor, because I have to have to go to the doctor. Yeah, well, oh, you have to go to
Natty Bumpercar 0:43
the doctor. Well, that seems like something that we should figure out. Definitely. But we’re not going to do it with that stuff. Because that’s the equipment that we use for the podcast here at
Gramps 0:58
lot is called please hand corner.
Anyway, the kind of headquarters is it?
What are you doing here that you’re like, Oh, I flew. You know, you were raised to be high flow. But looking at your own. I got all my quick man.
Y’all got a headquarters.
I don’t even understand half the words that you even say. What’s up?
Like, toe cat? Yeah.
Natty Bumpercar 1:30
Yeah, so we I don’t know. We started calling it headquarters a long time ago, when we were you know, we’re in coffee. Ken alley here and the adjusters superhero team. The zooper Yeah, the superhero team. They have their headquarters and and so they used to a long time ago actually hanging out here and so I guess now that I think about it, they must have named it headquarters and we just kind of moved in. And as far as Bobcat it’s a podcast, podcast podcast. Oh, it’s just like an old radio show basically kind of year you’re talking to people and you have a show and you talk and you say things and say what kind of thing are you saying?
Gramps 2:14
Are you giving out your your banking information your social security number or recipes? You got some good like maybe for cornbread biscuits? Or are you tired like doing reviews? Like you know, I want cedar in my fire and not pine because Pon
Aloysius J. Pig 2:37
a cramps? What’s going on? What are you doing it? I never seen you in the podcast studio. Pig. Sherry is little ham himself. Yeah. Oh, yes. coming in and talking and talking pig again. Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, anyway, sorry that I had Bumpercar I’m gonna probably just leave you guys to this today. But there’s a little bug going around the house. So if anybody cook a
Gramps 3:09
cockroach,
Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
no, not like a kaka wrote? Like a upper respiratory sickness. You know, it’s a little bit. Everybody’s a little gunked up right now. So I just want you to watch out for it. Wash your hands. You should probably put a mask on. Oh, look those masks at all? Yes, of course. Cramps of course. But you should be should just take care. Okay. Okay. I’m out. Go back to your star. Yeah.
Gramps 3:37
Back to the star.
Aloysius J. Pig 3:39
One Gramps. Good one. Thanks.
Gramps 3:41
Oh, Natty I don’t know why you hang out with that little man with me. He’s fun everything but he’s a pig. You know, you cannot Yeah, you should like oh, he’s my best friend and he’s a beast pig. You know are people people talk is all I’m saying. You can’t go into town and people are like, Oh, I wonder if he’s gonna issue Granger gonna bring that pig out. I’m like, I don’t I can’t control him. He’s up there in his headquarters, you know, loop de loop
Rufus T. Rufus 4:14
raps what’s going on? It’s me. Rufus tearoom. The lawyer you want to stay now I heard you say looped in with somebody here. Let’s act in a little loop. delu that seems a little loop to Lou to you. Because you know what happens if anyone isn’t familiar loopty loop is the term around here and it’s in the contract course that I drew up because I am a lawyer that states and definitive and to that. If you live too low, then you’re out of the show. Basically Bumpercar was looped to glue at some point and he no longer had control of his faculties we sell say and I had to turn over the keys to the to the show to the bumper podcast. It was a time of growth a time of now.
Gramps 4:58
You owe me money.
Rufus T. Rufus 5:00
What what is that gramps?
Gramps 5:02
Remember, I gave it you alone. And I feel like you owe me so a lot of you owe you a you owe me some money and I would appreciate it if you would. Rate you know,
Rufus T. Rufus 5:19
as they say, give me Well, as I always say natty grams is great to see now I’m busy right now Oh, triple quadruple booked and, and also reading triple books. So I gotta scoot on out of here but always good to see you grabs and we’ll be
Gramps 5:40
watching. You come back. I’m gonna allow
somebody stop. Okay, this is incorrigible. I can’t even believe I’m being treated today. I’m home grown song.
Room studio,
y’all quit mass think and I don’t appreciate none of this. Oh,
Natty Bumpercar 6:06
I’m happy that you stopped by and that you’re here. You know, but this is we’re making a podcast and so I it’s kind of it says, you know, I’m sorry about Rufus owing you money. I wish you were nicer to pig. But
Producer 6:28
naughty, it’s me, our producer. And I noticed that we have the grand the grand man here. And I don’t Is Is he on the podcast today as he levels? Are we should we just I don’t what are we doing? And he stopped the outline for the show. Or anything? Yeah,
Natty Bumpercar 6:49
I I didn’t see the outline.
Gramps 6:53
Tell me that this thing is is recording right now. You’ve had this whole conversation for the last 10 minutes. And it’s being recorded. That’s what I talk about this. There’s cameras everywhere. There’s microphones everywhere there. You’re, you’re out to get us your your generation, your younger generation is out to get us and I don’t appreciate it. I didn’t sign anything. And I don’t want to be recorded.
Producer 7:24
I was wondering if Rufus maybe could help with
Gramps 7:30
roofers, your
Producer 7:32
car seat, sir. Yeah, of course. I know. He does. Take your money from time to time for me that’s been the back No. Well, anyway, I’m so sorry that they confusion I. Normally when people come in, I just start recording because I don’t know when we’re going to, you know, make the podcast or when we’re not. And so I say okay, this looks like my chance. And then I hit the bathroom. And I’m very, you know, apologetic. But I think we’ve done a wonderful job so far. If I’m to be honest,
Gramps 8:07
I am sorry to pop my head back in here. So I don’t mean to interrupt twice now. But did I hit something about scripts? Like our outlines? I didn’t know we were starting to do that kind of stuff. Are we going to start having scripts? Because that actually seems like it might be work. And I don’t know if I’m into that is what I’m trying to. I have my hands up and I’m rolling them out. I’m saying I am pointing at myself. I don’t know both hands pointing at you. If I both again, it may am into that. And that’s me putting my hands up like whoa, I don’t that’s if this is just me showing up and saying jibber jabber up on it. You know this. If this is me, having to sit down with you guys at a writers table
Aloysius J. Pig 8:51
who’s you don’t know about
Gramps 8:53
me like
maybe friend is just a layabout. He doesn’t even want to work for anything. He just expects the world to come to him and I say that’s not how it works. In my day, if I wanted to eat, I had to walk up a mountain, cross a river and then into a valley and then wrestle a bear and then get the map to where the food was from the bear and then go to the frozen tundra because the food was there because that’s where it was kept cold it makes sense and I put it in my satchel and then we’ll go all the way back okay give a little bit to the bear because I feel bad that’s wrestling with a very nice and then heated up it would I would go three weeks in between my meal three weeks, really three four times a year I would eat.
Natty Bumpercar 9:54
I I don’t want to question you, but I don’t know think that that the stories that I’ve heard this aren’t, this isn’t true, maybe I mean, like, you can’t go three weeks without eating. I don’t know what you would do you wouldn’t do well, and then just say you only ate three or four times a year, even four times a year that would that would say at that three weeks a clip that’s 12 weeks. So that’s that’s that’s only full. Let’s do the math. Three months. I I again, I’m not questioning you. You have you. i Oh, I don’t
Gramps 10:38
that eats me doodle total. Time. Who makes drawings? Hey, doodle. Hey, Grant was
talking dog. You’re talking frog? Talking ping? It
is played? It’s like the Berenstein No,
I can’t remember what it’s called.
Natty Bumpercar 11:03
The Bremen Town Musicians, which was a favorite book of mine growing up and there was Davis chicken and there’s cat and there was a dog and maybe trying to think a goat. Maybe a horse. I don’t remember. But yeah, I know what you’re talking about. But there was a lot of animals in that good catch. Hey, Judo poodle. Thanks so much for stopping by. That’s very weirdly well timed for you. Could you maybe do me a favor and see if gramps wants to go with you to your studio to maybe you could show him some of your some of your doodles some of your artwork
Doodle Poodle 11:38
just sounds like the best idea that I’ve ever heard in my life. Would you be interested in baby going away studio checking out some of my amazing
Gramps 11:57
genius gonna send me away with this talk and dog high pitched voice to his art studio.
Sees doodles.
Natty Bumpercar 12:09
I think that’d be nice.
Gramps 12:11
I don’t know about this. Well, I
Natty Bumpercar 12:13
just I want you to if you’re gonna be hanging around, I want you to meet some of the other people here at headquarters. And I mean, it’s not like you have a lot on your schedule. Anyway, isn’t.
Gramps 12:23
That reminds me my schedule is so JAM PACKED again do anything.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Subscribe
The post Bumperpodcast #425 – Season 3 – Gramps appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
Natty would like to know how you are doing?
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
We have started adding the podcast to Youtube with ridiculous background videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzha2MH5Rf6T89JtRPNqbC0UOxRXxyU0v. Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
Another story about saving baby animals!
A feel good story!
Previous episode!
Show Transcript:
Natty Bumpercar 0:04
I actually had to come out to the studio today and defrost the microphone. And and the board because it’s so it’s cold. It’s so chilly out here. It’s 55 degrees currently in the studio, which is kind of insane to me, but fine. This is the bumper podcast. I am Natty Bumpercar It is wonderful to talk to you today. How are you? I’ve missed you so much. No, no, really, I have I, sometimes people say how are you? And they don’t actually want you to answer because it’s like a formality. Right? It’s like, oh, how are you doing? And then you have to make the mental societal calculation of, do I actually tell them how I’m doing? Do they really want to know how I’m doing? Or do I just go? Ah, I’m fine. Things are good. Like, right. But then sometimes they’ll press a little bit. They’ll go, ah, how’s the family? How’s the Giles’s of wife? And it’s like, oh, you’re opening the door, you’re really opening the door to do I’m gonna start talking, I’m gonna give you information. And then you’re gonna, you know, wish you hadn’t, you know, because a lot of times the how’s it going? Is pretty surface. Because the people that you’re saying, how’s it going to? That generally implies to me at least that you haven’t, you know, talked to them in a little while, and maybe you’re not up on the day to day. And so, you know, the people who do know how it’s actually going, they probably know for, you know, for the most part, so they don’t have to say how’s it going? Because they just know. So then the people who come up to you and say, How’s it going? They aren’t up on the news, right? They know they don’t get your they don’t subscribe to your newsletter. Right? They don’t read your, your, your blog, their your RSS feed, they’re not watching your tic TOCs. They don’t know how it’s going. And so when you’re like, Well, who actually there’s a lot going on, then you can see like their, their the skin on their face kind of tighten up a little bit. And they go Oh, no, what have I gotten myself into? Ah, all right, and then they try to what? Okay, there’s you Well, that’s great. See, I’m gonna No, no, no, no. Oh, friend. You just asked me how it was going. And I am going to do you have 45 minutes? Because I’d like to tell you how it’s going. I’d like to tell you every single bit of how it is going. And so that’s why it’s a very not transitional but just it’s a very transitory I don’t know what the word I’m going for. But it’s it’s not a real question. It’s not, you know, like, Hey, bud. Let’s hang out. Let’s sit down right now and hash this out. Let’s have a cup of hot liquid. Whatever. I don’t know what hot liquid you drink. I don’t like coffee. I should you know, we should let you know that. I don’t like coffee. I think coffee is yucky. I do like tea. Big fan of tea. Right? Not fruit fruity kind of teas. kind of freaked me out a little bit. But like black tea, like an earl grey, which is a black tea, but it’s gray. I don’t know. English breakfast. Now that’s a tea I can get behind. That’s a solid tea. Right? What other hot drinks cider? Oh, man, I will drink a cider. Like all day long. I will drink a cider. I will. I will take some cinnamon and I’ll put it in my cider. Yeah, that’s gonna make my day better. I’m just gonna tell you right now. A Chai now. That’s a tea though. So I don’t know if it really counts. What other kind of hot beverages are there? I don’t know. Do you consider like broth to be a hot beverage? Like a miso soup that you know maybe just has a couple of little scallions in there. Feels kind of soupy I don’t know. There’s like what kind of what kind of tea do you like? Oh, I’ll take the chicken tea today please. warms me up. fills me up makes me feel good about everything out there. Oh, sorry. We don’t have any chicken tea. But we do have these dried up leaves that you can put in hot water and then it’ll turn your water Brown. Oh, wow. That sounds delicious. My my youngest kid. He’s I don’t know how old he is. 710 43 I don’t know, but he’s adorable. And he said, I drink a lot of tea. And he recently, he was like, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna try some of that tea and I said, Oh, are you and I let them have a little sip of my tea, you know, not wanting to get the child caffeinated. Because he doesn’t need the energy for him. To be honest, I need I need all of the energy. I am a robot whose battery is always low. And so I need the energy. And but I let him have a little sip just to see if he liked it. And he did. And so I went out and I bought him a little box of decaffeinated tea. And now that I’m saying that I kind of wonder if there’s any caffeine in that because though, even though it says decaffeinated, I wonder if it’s just that means has less caffeine, or if it means there’s none, I don’t know, but I should. Now I’m thinking I should find that out. And he loves the whole process of making tea. And I think I like part of that too. Where are you, you have your your water the kettle, it’s on the fire and it’s it’s boiling, and it’s whistling while that whole thing is happening. You you go and you get your mug or whatever, you know, kind of thing. You’re putting your your your hot tea into, you put the tea bag and you’ve we we’ve discovered because I used to put sugar in my tea because I like a little sweet D because I’m from the south. That’s what we drink. But now I’ve discovered something called monk fruit, which is I don’t know what it is. I know nothing about it. I just know, I was in the store. And someone said, Would you like to try these strawberries? They’ve got a little monkfruit on them. And I was like, yeah, oh, sure. And this wasn’t even like someone who worked in the store. This was just like a random person. I think they pulled it out of their pocket. If I’m gonna be honest, I wasn’t like at a station. It wasn’t branded. It was just, yeah, wow. I don’t know, maybe. Maybe monkfruit is doing some guerilla marketing. Now they’re just going into stores, berries in their pocket, and trying to turn to turn the masses, or something like that real grass roots is what they’re doing. So no, I, I tried it. And it was it was I was like, Well, this is this tastes fine. This tastes yummy. This is good. And so then it took me two months for that thought to work its way through my brain and get to the point where I was like, I wonder if this monkfruit will be good and my tea. And then it took another month and a half for me to then go fight like be at the store. And remember that that was something that I was curious about. So it’s it’s a six month process at most. So any, any thought that comes into my brain anything that I’m like, you know, that’s a good idea. It doesn’t just then happen. It has to sit on the shelf for a little while, you know, like, actually what we do is we, we cook it with and then we put it in a mason jar and then we put it on the shelf and then you let it rest there and then we open it in. Oh, and it’s delicious. And then we put it back in the fridge. I mean, it’s a whole process is what I’m saying. And so I finally it happened though, I got it. And it’s delicious. It doesn’t in Thai it doesn’t 1,000% tastes like sugar. But I would say it’s a good 80% And it doesn’t taste like the I don’t like unnatural sweeteners, like the pink packet or the blue packet or the yellow packet. Those all kind of just leave a bad taste in my mouth don’t like diet sodas, either for the same reason. I just don’t think Yeah. But this stuff
so far, so Okay, so, you know, keep drinking it, drinking it, no putting it in my tea and then drinking it. That’s what I’ll do. So the child he loves the process of we put the teabag into the mug while the water is boiling. I’ve started putting this monk fruit and it was tea and he doesn’t seem to notice which is nice. And then you know, you put the water in and he he enjoys watching it steep. And I would like to know the etymology of the word steep because it’s your, you know, just putting the teabag into the hot water and releasing the deliciousness from the leaves that have been dried. And I don’t know what steeping is. Hmm. But, you know, initially we were trying to teach him like alright, so you have a tea bag And then you put it in the water. And and you know, it has to sit in there for a certain amount of time the water should be a certain temperature, it should sit in the water for a certain amount of time and we’re not that scientific about it, if I’m to be honest, but you can look at it and you can see like, okay, that that water looks plenty dark to me. Like, I feel like it’s got enough tea flavor. And then also try to explain to them that if you leave the teabag in there for too long, if you forget it in there, it might turn bitter on you. You don’t want that No, no, no bitter, no bitter. Nope, no, buddy, no bitter. So you know, he’s caught. He’s like, has it steeped enough as it steeped in it, and I’m like, I think it is steeped enough. And so then he takes it out. And then what we do is we leave like an inch at the top of his mug. And we put some ice cubes in there just to cool it down. You know, I don’t want to burn them. I want them to enjoy his tea. And so then we have I have a tea buddy. Like we go to we go to the restaurant, and we get breakfast. And he’s like, she’s like, and what what will you have little man some chocolate milk. And he’s like, actually, I’d like some tea. decaffeinated, please. And I’m like, Oh, you’re so fancy. Look at you a little fancy man. And the waitress is always, you know, they’re always really amused by it, that he’s being so fancy. And he. And the last time we went, she was like, and would you like some cream? Or should he was like, no, no, no half and half for me. He knows what half and half is. I don’t even know what half and half is. I just know it’s kind of milky stuff. And it’s all a it comes in a little bowl type situation. And it’s put on the table. And then you put it in coffee and stuff. And it makes it look neat and cloudy and everything. I don’t really know if it if it changes anything, but you know, so she was asking him this. And so we go to the same diner every so often. And it was great because we went there just he and I the other day. And we’re at the table. It’s the same waitress that we normally get. And she comes up and she has all these, you know, big smiles and oh, how are you? When you look at you guys and we’re like, hey, and then she looks she goes. So how’s it going? And my younger son has picked up on this social cue, and he said, I’m not sure you really want to know how much time do you have
Outro 12:42
the bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. Please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
SubscribeThe post Bumperpodcast #424 – Season 3 – How Are You appeared first on Natty Bumpercar.
We are back for a whole new year and a whole new season of ridiculousness!
The Bumperpodcast with Natty Bumpercar is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp around Headquarters, in Coffee-Can Alley, with Natty Bumpercar and his entire gaggle of pals!
You should send us an email to bumperpodcast@nattybumpercar.com. We’re here and we’re listening!
Go like our Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheBumperpodcast/)!! Also, The Bumperpodcast can now be found on the https://non-productive.com/ network. Yay!!!! Also, also, we have a Patreon page now!!! https://www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar
Show Transcript:
Natty Bumpercar 0:00
I can eat Check, check, check any check, check. Hi everybody. It’s me Natty Bumpercar. And well, I guess it’s a new season. Well, I guess it’s a new year. New Me. I don’t know. I
Rufus T. Rufus 0:16
think it should be an entirely new podcast given the fact Hi everyone. This is me. Rufus. T. Rufus. Given the fact that you’ve been disappeared for quite some time. Do you have any kind of explanations for the audience? You can’t just leave them hanging like
Producer 0:32
everyone needs me producer and not that you don’t have to actually say anything. You’re just you are a very busy man. And not everyone knows. You’re doing lots of things and sometimes you get bogged down which is funny coming from a frog bug go good frog only log in a bog it’s funny to me. It’s a frog joke. Anyway. You don’t have to tell Rufus anything. Okay,
Aloysius J. Pig 0:54
Natty, I have you want to see me? I always just J pig heart coming in here. Hot. I’m coming in here hot. And I am bothered by this whole situation. Because here’s the thing. I think you don’t need it. I give an explanation. Everybody Bumpercar Because the last time you put out an episode was a the I don’t know. I don’t even I honestly, I don’t even know my calendar doesn’t go far that far back. Okay. So I appreciate when I think everybody would appreciate it as you maybe just a little bit of transparency. That’s, you know, kind of one of those words these days. Oh, again, good, a little bit of transparency and let us know what’s going on. Which is
Natty Bumpercar 1:32
fine. Yeah, well, full transparency. I just went through 15 minutes with my computer with a giant spinning rainbow ball that was saying to me, Hey, we just everything just got lost, but evidently it didn’t. So we’re back. And that makes me happy. That’s my transparency for you for right now.
Santa 1:52
Now Natty, as your lawyer, I’m going to come out and tell you that that’s not the kind of transparency that we are talking about. That’s more like a translucency that’s more like a or pigness or something like that what the people are looking for. They’re looking for a clear window in which they can look through and see what you’re talking about. Okay, and I don’t feel like that’s quite enough for you understand?
Natty Bumpercar 2:21
Yeah. Okay, cool. What? What is happening right now? Is that do we? Do we get a telephone? I’ve always wanted to be a call in show. Somebody, answer quick.
Aloysius J. Pig 2:38
Ha, ha allow this bump. I don’t have high who who’s?
Natty Bumpercar 2:45
It’s turkey in Turkey. Oh. Good point. Okay, thanks, Turkey. Wow, that was great. But thing I think maybe you hung up on him a little bit too fast. Like he was still talking or clicking are gobbling. I don’t know. What is doesn’t i Does anyone know Turkey talk? What is the gobble so God like you still got to be fair.
Aloysius J. Pig 3:10
I was caught unawares. I was caught off guard. I didn’t know that I was gonna be unfound duty. I kind of feel like maybe that’s producers kind of kind of jam. And I I did I kind of I kind of freaked out a little bit and I just hung up. I didn’t I didn’t.
Natty Bumpercar 3:28
Another one. Oh, producer get this good. This one producer.
Producer 3:36
Oh, hello, this is the show’s producer. We’re not going to the Natty Bumpercar bumper podcast site. today. Her name who’s calling?
Rufus T. Rufus 3:49
Well, I’m quite sure that you understand who’s calling. I know you’re having a call caller ID are
Natty Bumpercar 3:58
we Hi, Santa Claus. We don’t have any kind of caller ID but because this is our first time having a telephone on the show. But I recognize your voice. And it’s super cool that you’re calling in and I’m so happy to hear from you. And I
Rufus T. Rufus 4:09
don’t think you’ll think so in a second. Oh, yes. You see not to you didn’t record your podcast for the last bit of the year. And that is upset a lot of people. For instance, I believe Turkey called earlier. You never had him on the show last year. I am calling you again. Because you did not have me on the show. This is a traditional thing that we do every single year where Thanksgiving comes around Turkey comes on the show. December comes around and then I’m on the show as well. Do you have any thing to say not to
well now as Natty’s
Santa 4:54
Ruffus? Oh yeah, I’m not asking you to stand in front of Mr. Bumpercar. Oh, I’m just asking for a little bit of transparency is
Natty Bumpercar 5:05
fine. Okay, here’s what happened last year. This is late November and December. In late November, I was out in the bumper barn and I was trying to get some Christmas decorations down off of the loft loft is about 10 feet up in the air, and I was getting a giant storage crate full of decorations down. And I was using the ladder kind of to guide the big box down. And then the ladder shifted, and then the box fell and it whacked me in the head.
Aloysius J. Pig 5:41
This is all true. I was there. I witnessed the whole thing. It
was it was quite the wallop that he taught.
Santa 5:47
I understand. Keep talking, please. Yeah,
Natty Bumpercar 5:49
absolutely. So it hit me and I kind of went down on one knee. And I don’t think I passed out. But people were asking that but Oliver was out here with me. And he was like, are you okay? And I was like, ah, yeah, I was like, Is there any, any blood? And he looked, and he’s like, no blood. And I was like, Ah, all right. And then I proceeded to get down for more giant boxes, because I’m silly that way. Now. I put my hand on the back of my head. And when I pulled it back blood, there was a lot of blood. Sorry, I don’t want to freak you out. But it was true. This this actually happened. And Oliver said, I think we should go find mommy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea. Good. Good call. Sweet Child. And so I stumbled back into the house. Dear, I think I have a concussion. What should I What should I do? And it was hilarious, because I said, Can you look at my eyes, I need to see if my eyes are dilated? I
Producer 6:56
don’t understand what exactly died or die. You die. You later. What is What are you talking? What does that mean? I don’t I’m not a medical professional. I’m there. So fraud, who is good at producing a bandit.
Natty Bumpercar 7:08
Very good at it. Yes. So dilated, it just basically means so there’s in the center of your eye, there’s something called a pupil. It’s like the little circle black part. And that’s actually how the light gets into your eyes. And that’s the whole thing. But sometimes, if they’re really big or really small, then you can kind of see that there’s stuff going on with them. And she said, and so and when you have a concussion, that’s one of the things that they check. They’re like, let’s look at your eyes and see if your pupils are dilated. And so she looked at my eyes and she said, I don’t know, I think that one is bigger than that one talking about my eyes. And I was and she’s like, but I don’t know if that’s just because of where you are in relation to the the light in the room. And, like, I don’t think that’s how it works. But you know, and then I said, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go take a shower. So I did that I went, I took a shower. And definitely was feeling pretty pretty off. Now.
Rufus T. Rufus 8:10
I’m feeling pretty off. It’s just something that is it. Can we sue this box?
I mean, I don’t want to be litigious this early in the new year, but I am the lawyer. So I just think I could probably look into it. And there’s a there’s a box have any kind of assets that we can go and
Aloysius J. Pig 8:27
settle down roof is I keep telling story bumper,
Natty Bumpercar 8:29
okay. So my whole life, I’ve been told, if you have a concussion, don’t go to sleep. But then I went on the internet and they said, Hey, you can go to sleep. And I was like, okay, and I fully am aware and know that I could have gotten any answer that I wanted. And I was very tired. It was like at 930 at night, and I went to sleep. And I slept all day. The next day. It was a Saturday. And I really I felt like I couldn’t move. I was just on the couch. And Saturday night, a friend of mine, Dave from Cedar beans coffee joint where I host the Thursday open mic, the caffeinated open mic. It was their four year anniversary, and I was I got up and I was like I am gonna go to this thing. And my wife was like, I don’t want you to go to that thing. And I was like, I have to go to this thing. And she’s like, again, I would rather you not go to the thing. So I went to the thing. And I took all of her with me. And I got there and within like a minute and a half all the noise and the people in the lights. I was like this was a mistake. I’ve made a terrible mistake. And I found a mom like a friend of Oliver’s mom and I said can I give him to you? And they’re like, yeah, what are you doing? I was like, I wanted to go to the emergency room. And so I did that. And they ran me through all kinds of tests and they were like, Yeah, you you have got a concussion and I was like I yeah, I know, I know. And that’s really all they did. They were like, alright, you just got to take it easy for might take a couple of weeks and good luck to you. Now I was like, Ah, all right. And so so that was the that was in November. That was the week before Thanksgiving. And then Thanksgiving happened. And we had all kinds of people at our house and I overextended myself. And so I made it worse, because that’s what I tend to do. So, Santa, if you could tell Turkey that that’s why he wasn’t on the podcast in November,
Santa 10:33
all of a sudden, Santa I’m being your messenger. That’s fine. Well, I’m terribly sorry about your head. And I hope that you’re doing things to reconcile that situation and that you’re going to take better care of yourself and live here.
Natty Bumpercar 10:48
I absolutely will. I promise steps have been taken. I got smaller containers. So I don’t have these monstrous containers to get down. And yes, I’m definitely going to try. It’s funny, every single doctor that I ever talked to, they’re like, are you taking care of yourself? And I’m like, no. So much, not so much. It’s not really what I do. I don’t take care of myself a lot. And they were like, You should probably start. And I’m like, okay, like I do it. But grudgingly I don’t know if you if you do that when you go to the doctor, but I’m like,
fine. I’ll take care of myself. Blah, blah, you know?
Santa 11:25
Yes. And that’s yeah, I do appreciate that. Very much. I do. I tend to overextend myself as well, especially at towards the end of the year where there’s a lot going on and I have to go around all the places and this elves in the building things and the rain do you have to take care of them and so I understand what about Pat what happened in December because I also was not on the podcast.
Producer 11:53
All right, actually. Sorry to interrupt. Natty and Mr. Claus. i This is producer. We only have 30 seconds to go on the show. So maybe we can you can test it. Can you I know you’re busy man. You made it back next week. Oh man, figure it out. Are
Rufus T. Rufus 12:10
you seriously asking sam I’m so cool back on the show. I’m
Natty Bumpercar 12:14
terribly sorry Santa, but we I don’t know what to do I
Aloysius J. Pig 12:17
and scene
Natty Bumpercar 12:20
did you just hang up on Santa Claus.
Aloysius J. Pig 12:23
shows gonna end shows
Natty Bumpercar 12:26
do not answer that no one answered the phone just run.
Outro 12:42
The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show, and you’d like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https colon forward slash forward slash www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar also pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere. post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in coffee Ken alley. It’s recorded mixed and produced by producer. The bumper podcast features contributions from Aloysius jpg Rufus T Rufus doodle poodle, robot trunks and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at Natty bumpercar.com/subscribe Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar Hugs and hire. See you soon.
NonPro 14:01
This has been a non productive media presentation, executive producer Frank Blaue. This program and many others like it on the nonproductive network is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives license, please share it but ask before trying to change it or sell it. For more information visit non dash productive.com
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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