The Gift of Help - SoundSage

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This episode is with Nicolette Lazarus, a self-described midlife woman, solo female founder with a 100% record of getting through bad days.

Her life has been quite a journey - growing up in an immigrant family in the early 70s, having her attitude to help inadvertently imprinted by an incident with her younger smarter brother, battling to have a successful career in advertising, a post-divorce transformational solo adventure through Australia’s outback, through to a deeply challenging time during her 40’s navigating perimenopause.

All of this has led her to follow her purpose and start Womanship, a game-changing help each other community for women and wellness providers.

Some themes we cover:

The influence on her attitude to help of a seemingly innocuous encounters in ur childhood

Eldest child syndrome and expectation to help other people

Needing to prove we can do things and as good as other people prevent us from us asking for help

How self-acceptance is vital to getting comfortable to have the self-worth to ask for help.

Holding space for people to talk is a priceless form of offering help

Difficulty to talk about the very private experience of miscarriage

The importance of asking for help you become the person that you know you have the potential to become.

The historical negative cognation of therapy and help can hold people back from seeking support

The easier approach to ask for help on behalf of your passion project versus asking explicitly for yourself.

Being specific with your ask is a great way to increase your success at getting a successful outcome to your request.

Telling yourself what’s the worst that can happen will help get over your fears of asking.

Want to get early access to Nicolette's Womanship platform? You can sign up at www.womanship.co and/or follow @_Womanship on Instagram for inspirational content and exclusive updates. #sharemoreworryless

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode is with Greg Allon, father of 3, Chief Operating Officer at a TV Production company, enthusiastic runner, blog writer and aspirational author

15 years ago he was diagnosed with malignant melanoma whilst his youngest of three kids was 9 months old. And then a couple of years later, he started a spinning studios business with his sister and brother-in-law.

We discuss his insights on help from these life-changing experiences and how they have fundamentally changed his outlook on life. How they’ve acted as a reminder of how priceless the help from his wife, family and friends was during those tough times, and even now as he takes on new challenges including writing a novel.

Some of themes we cover are:

Children naturally ask for help, as we become adults we overthink it.
Hierarchy of help - the multiple ways it can be offered, publicly or anonymously help, accepted and asked for
The challenge help offerers experience in asking for help themselves
The resistance to asking for help, and the reliance on your partner to be one’s ‘help crutch’
The importance of asking for help for emotional and mental support as much as for practical, logistical support
The closer you are to your family and friends the easier to ask for help
Illness is more straight forward to ask for help, but it’s other less obvious situations that are nearly as valuable to ask for help, but it’s harder because it’s less obvious you need it.
The partner needs as much if not more help and support than the person who’s sick.
When starting a business how important it is consider what happens if it just goes, ok and to keep going only if you maintain your current job commitment. Not just consider if it’s a failure or a great success.
Starting and running a business has inevitable waves of crisis and low points, where you’re verging on being desperate and forced to ask for help
How one particular friend went way beyond expectations to help and find ways to keep Greg’s business going
Asking people for favours, help, advice and intros historically didn’t come naturally, but the harsh start up experience has now made that much more natural.
The more times you now practise asking for help and make it become a habit, the more proficient and comfortable you become
The Benjamin Franklin effect - by asking a favour and advice can reframe an adversarial relationship to a trusting and valued one.
How giving help is part of self-fulfilment and as such can be considered the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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Recently I had the remarkable experience of meeting Simon Sinek, the renowned author, inspirational speaker and podcast host. It represented a wonderful reminder of you how when we dare to ask for help amazing things can happen.

In this episode I share how the experience has underlined and highlighted so many life enhancing themes I'm increasingly now living my life by, ones that will hopefully help and inspire you on your journey to live the life you want.

Manifesting: Things don’t just happen by chance, we can make them happen. Being clear as to what you want in life - both the feeling and the and that you feel it and deserve it, it will happen.
Meeting the universe half way: Be receptive to and recognise opportunities when they present themselves and why it happens in that moment and and in that way.
Journey not the destination: Liberating to let go of expecting or being driven by certain outcomes. To embrace each moment, encounter and opportunity that can then let the surprising magic happen.
Authenticity: being authentic enables game-changing things to happen. It creates stronger connections, a sense of trust that can only enrich your life
Gratitude: simple but important reminder that it boosts your own mindset and mood. For help when it’s offered, for opportunities the universe gives you, and for the people that in your life. And to be grateful for yourself, who you are, how you show up and what you give the world.
Purpose: Benefit of being able to capture your purpose, and then tap into and live and breathe it. With this Gift of Help project I feel like I’m doing so.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode tells the inspiring personal story of the life-changing benefits of practising what I’m preaching. To be aware of and have the motivation to overcome your blockers and asking for help. And for this to massively serve me when I recently met Simon Sinek, and how this has led to a massive step forward on my journey to increase the impact of my Gift of Help project.

I hope this inspires you as much as it has me.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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Here’s a few nuggets and insights from the clip of my conversation with Matt Black a colon cancer survivor and now charismatic campaigner.

Accepting help with unconditional gratitude, can trigger not only an unexpected mood and energy boost for yourself, but also for the help giver and the wonderful ripple effect onto those around them. And how this in general breeds a sense of love and gratitude, support and friendship.

Plus also we talk about the power of a thinking of you reach out and offer to help out to not only the person who’s going through a health or life challenge but to those close to them.

You can listen to the full episode and Matt's story and his inspiring attitude here: https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/12711782

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this short clip from my conversation with David Smith, the gold-winning Paralympian, we talk about the joy and priceless value of human connection from simply asking, offering and accepting help even with strangers. Plus how his attitude of being curious, compassionate and courageous underpins all of this.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This clip is from conversation with Osher Günsberg.

In the spirit of the joy of being asked for help, we talk about it being not the survival of the fittest, but more survival of the friendliest. And that as a species we have succeeded because we are cooperative and our brains are hardwired to reward us when we help others.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This conversation tells the story of how a Paralympian gold medallist’s grit and self-reliance gave way to vulnerability, self-awareness, accepting and offering help and a greater sense of purpose.

David was a promising national level student athlete, but in 2010 he was diagnosed with a rare tumour in his spinal cord. He then went on to represent Great Britain at rowing and win gold at the London Olympics in 2012. However in 2106, one of the multiple spinal surgeries he had to endure that year left him paralaysed from the neck down on one side.

We discuss how dealing with depression and overcoming suicidal thoughts has given him a greater sense of purpose, and brought out his altruistic personality, passion to learn, help others and make a difference in the world.

Some other themes we cover are:

It's hard in today's world when we're bombarded with so much noise, to get to the core of who we are, what we value the most, what are our non-negotiables, and live in alignment with that.
The benefit of nature, animals and a change of environment to help yourself.
Mental health challenges of performance athletes who experience post Olympics depression, yet it seems it less impacts the coaches and support team
How Victor Frankl’s stimulus-space-response framework can guide our perhaps unwanted immediate reactions to situations. if we can work on that stimulus, space response and smile more often, we change the vibration of our life and everyone around us.
The difference between UK and Jamaican culture around greetings and expressing of love and blessings.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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I chat with Matt Black, a chartered surveyor from London, father of two and colon cancer survivor.

Matt now campaigns to encourage everyone, especially head-in-the-sand middle-aged men, to regularly check themselves and be aware of the early warning signs.

We talk about the frightening and lonely experience of being diagnosed and urgently operated at 2am during the early days of Covid. And then in the days after his life saving surgery, having mixed emotions about being grateful for dodging a bullet, but also the unenviable challenge of having no in person contact with his wife, and those close to him. And the toll it took on them as well as him.

It’s a revealing and raw story of how Matt, and his family experienced help during those unprecedented lockdown times. And how it’s the partners and close family of patients that also need help during these critical times, and how they too can often be resistant to accepting and asking for help.

Other themes we discuss include:

Talking openly about your challenges and emotions massively helps not only yourself but also can make it easier for others to do the same. And others to help you.
If your partner tells you there's something wrong with you, listen, accept what they're saying and go and deal with it.
It's self-preservation to reach out and look for and accept help.
Even if you’re uncomfortable or don’t know what to say to someone who’s sick or grieving, a reach out to say thinking of you makes a huge difference.
Most people want want to help and do so with the best intention. And it's 2-way - you benefit from it,, and the person offering help benefits from it as well.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this episode, I chat with Osher Günsberg, Australian award-winning TV presenter, author, podcast host, writer, and mental health advocate.

Osher talks openly about his self destructive early career years as a roadie, then radio DJ and TV host, including colourful and sometimes frightening stories of hitting rock bottom. And how it was these moments that forced him, together with support of friends and colleagues, to let go of his independence and ego to then accept and ask for help.

Some of the themes we cover are:

The triggers to start to accept help can happen when your coping strategies are completely dwarfed by the amount of stress in your day-to-day life.
Not accepting the help and support from professionals to deal with depression and anxiety, resulted in wasting 7 years of his life.
Power of exercise as a regulator for mental health. Pushing yourself to the limit helps to remove the worries in your head.
It's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the friendliest, since our brains are wired to be rewarded when we assist and help others.
Practising a selfless culture of doing things for others, of being of service to others in your professional environment can improve the quality of work.
People are often all too happy to receive that "got time for a chat" call to help them get out of their brains and everyday worries.
How different cultures significantly influence our attitude to help. Specifically in contrast to the West, how in Fijian culture it would be an affront to not accept help.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this episode I chat with Tim Wotton. A Cystic Fibrosis sufferer, who has been defying the odds all his life. He wasn’t expected to live past his 17th birthday, but yet at 51 he continues to embrace life as a motivational speaker, author, hockey player and family man.

He explains from how from a young age, he was forced to accept and ask for help. How this has made him feel more like a survivor than a victim. And that when he went to University he appreciated that help is out there in abundance, and people offer it out of love and the profound feeling they get by doing so.

Some of the themes we cover are:

The power of the mind, nature, stillness and following your breath enable us to embrace our own wisdom.
How Tim historically managed his inevitable low moments and frustration with mental workouts and self-talk. But also struggles to reach out for help to others during those times.
Our brains are hard wired to negativity and hence often feel like a victim. How using self-talk, anchoring yourself to the present and a fake-it til you make it approach can influence your physical health and how feel about it.
An attitude of practise makes progress to nurture positive self-care habits.
The practise of Helping yourself by helping others, enables you to become less of a victim, by passing over compassion to others.
Asking for and accepting help by sharing the burden of survival embraces the ecosystem of willing and motivated helpers in your world.
And when you realise people are waiting to be asked, how reaching out to close family and friends with the phrase ‘Your help please’ can be game-changing. For you and for them. By doing so it can make those around you more likely to offer you help in the future versus waiting to be asked.
Most people offer help unconditionally, not expecting it to be returned, since it simply ‘serves them and their sense of self-worth.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This clip is from my conversation with David Rosen.

We cover off the theme of how we should be more kind to ourselves, and that this can increase our instinct to actually help ourselves, and in the end of the wonderful outcome of helping each other.

Plus we discuss an example of how reaching out for help when you're feeling low, can help you and the other person be lifted.

You can listen to the full episode with David here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2075728/11708501

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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A year ago I was admitted to hospital … and nearly said goodbye.

It’s been the most extraordinary past 12 months of priceless lessons. So on Ashley 2.0’s birthday I wanted to share what I’ve learnt about life, myself and each other.

Nothing would make me happier if they can help you as much as they’ve helped me.

To commemorate this all, I proudly made this podcast. And complied this list:

Compassionate connection.
Mutually fuelled friendships.
To give and receive a thinking-of-you message or call
Helping others is selflessly selfish. You both end up happier.
Cooking for yourself. And others.
Intentional breathing
Sleep
It’s ok to not be ok. And to share this with those around us.
Listening to how you are feeling more than how you are doing
The small moments of joy are the big moments - a heartfelt hug, a smile with eyes, a contagious giggle, a spontaneous compliment, to wake up to a healthy body. And a fashion compliment from your niece.
To be active. And then be still
Rest
Being with and waking in nature: the forest, a lake, a river, the beach, the mountains, fresh snow, warm rain, gentle sun, bright flowers.
Being with animals: dogs, horses, ducks, birds…
Smiling. With family, friends and strangers.
Losing your inhibitions. Laugh, cry, shout, sing, dance.
Accepting help with gratitude
Asking for help with courage
Offering help with no conditions
Be grateful, and kind. To yourself. And others
Cycling. Moving your body, being outside, boosting your mental health. Chance to contemplate and be with yourself. Or be social and connect. Some of the best chats and ideas have come on the bike.
80:20 rule. Don’t have to like like a saint or monk all the time. It ok to let yourself go every once in a while. The mood boost is usually worth it.
I’ve learned about myself. The body is an extraordinary machine, if we let it do it’s thing. It tells us what we need. We just need to listen. And fuel it with more of it needs and less of what we want.
To be vulnerable is to be brave.
Takes bravery to accept help and ask for it
Treating yourself is not selfish, it’s self care
Your mind is powerful in guiding your actions. Your heart is powerful in guiding your instinct. In how you most honestly live out your Your life
How you’re feeling is more important than you’re doing. Feeling comes from being aware of your own energy and that of the world around us. To lean into this is your best guide.
To be honest with yourself. By feeling more and thinking less. To then be more honest with those around us.
To be self aware, you need to be at peace with your past. To accept the emotion of trauma and your personal grief. To survive and then thrive, unburdened and free.
Sometimes you can feel the most alive when being the most still.
To be in, and grateful of, the moment. By digitally switching off. (Irony noted, as you read this on your mobile;)
Social media isn’t all bad. As long as you control it more than it controls you.
To surrender and let go. Of fear, self-doubt, the future, and people that take more energy than offer.
Real love enters your life when you embrace who you are. Your vulnerability. Your strength. Your gift to yourself and the world. When you love yourself!

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This clip was from my conversation with Tom Bagnall, a survivor of Stage 3 melanoma cancer.

Friends of Tom were invested in his recovery. By accepting help, it gave a chance for friends to rally together to support him. They did so because they care, and to get joy from witnessing and celebrate the results of their help in his recovery.

It's a great example of having been on the receiving end of help, and experiencing its benefits, it helps you more instinctively offer help to others.

Here's the full episode with Tom https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11708446

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This clip was from my conversation with Tom Bagnall, a survivor of Stage 3 melanoma cancer.

We talk about tips for offering help: Make them specific, tangible and constructive.
And how recognising your own historical blockers, helps you see these in others to then be more empathetic and effective at offering help.
And this in turn supports you to be more accepting of more help in your own life.

Here's the full episode with Tom https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11708446

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this clip from conversation about my health journey, we talk about the abundance of help around us, and that ironically to not accept help is selfish. But accepting it is practising self-care, and a chance to trigger a wonderful positive ripple effect of help on those around you.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This short episode covers 3 simple tips:

If you have trouble accepting that offer, consider it the other way round - would you happily offer help if you were asked in the same sitation?
Avoid assuming there is an effort, burden and time the offerer will go through to offer that gesture of help
Start small - accept everyday gestures even like the offer of a coffee!

This clip is from my conversation with a good friend Marco about my health journey, and my experience of embracing the life-changing concept of ‘the gift of help for yourself and each other’.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode is with Ursula Tomlinson, a wonderfully generous retired paediatric oncologist nurse I met recently on a personal development program.

Born into a large family, and as the eldest she learned to be highly independent, self reliant and from a young age instinctively wanting to spend a lifetime helping others. Drawing on this experience she has a fascinating insight on not only offering help as a nurse but also asking for help for herself. And is honest about her own blockers towards accepting help from others.

There so many gems to highlight, some include:
- Being a kid in a classroom of 70 in the 1960’s, asking for help would be seen as slowing the lesson down.
- Asking for help is often mistakenly seen as stupid or overly bothering people
- The distinctive influences of northern vs southern European cultures and male vs females approach to asking for help.
- Her teacher giving tasks that they couldn’t finish, forced them to ask others for help. And this made them realise that you can’t know everything and you can't do everything by yourself.
- Culturally, it's easier for women to depend on each other, and how this more naturally encourages a sense of teamwork in female sports.
- As a nurse, you can’t get through a shift alone - and that you know you’d always get the help when you asked for it. Help other others/patients help each other …. but not necessarily yourself!
- The importance of the help me help you culture in paediatric care - what do I need to know to help you // Parents saying thank you for asking.
- The power and importance of a specific and empathetic offer of help to make it so much easier to accept. And the significance of doing so without expecting any thanks.
- How saying ’ My pleasure’ instead of no problem to those who express thanks for someone’s help - highlights beautifully the wonderful buzz the offerer feels. And this may encourage the receiver to more readily accept help in the future.
- Selfish altruism - help yourself by helping others
- Offering and accepting help bonds a community.
- Put the specific request for help out there, and it’s likely there will be someone who’d be happy to offer - like a match making service
- The mental block to asking for help can come from thinking no one will offer and the anticipated feeling of disappointment and/or rejection. So to avoid it, we don’t ask.
- The power of phrasing an offer of help by saying ‘nothing would make me happier than letting me do this for you.”
- In these current times, we’ll need each others help a lot more moving forward, and how this will make us better listen to, and help, not only each other but also ourselves.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode is with Ton van Klaveren, a good Dutch friend, successful head of corporate sales, aspirational business owner and damn strong cyclist.
Highly driven and active, and a self-described impatient, somewhat private and fiercely independent person.
After a car crash, Ton suffered whiplash and was diagnosed with concussion. But only 8 days later did he start to feel the severe repercussions. Leaving him incapable of working, socialising and controlling his moods.

Some of the fascinating topics we cover are:

His struggles to understand the effects of the injuries on his body, the debilitating symptoms and having no clarity as to how long it would take to recover.
How he was forced to learn to be patient, vulnerable, and comfortable in his own company.
It took him to be at his lowest and a feeling of being ‘broken’ to accept help from his wife. And that thus then became the turning point to start to get his life back.
The dilemma of the need to rest yet keep doing things to get you a mental and mood boost.
Sharing his story and anxieties helped the recovery process.
The realisation that he couldn’t go through this by himself. And how asking a neighbour to go for a walk was a chance to be simply taken out of your own head an thoughts.
Fight versus flight response to his situation
The challenge presented by his difficult upbringing, going into survival mode and how it’s made it difficult to lean on others for help.
The default characteristic of entrepreneurs and corporate culture to do everything themselves and not ask for help.
Receiving compliments is as often harder than giving them. Yet this can be a start point for receiving help.
Share your vulnerability with those close to you, so they can offer help and be part of your journey. So ultimately it can strengthen connections and relationships.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode is with Daniel Kramer, a 24 year old cousin, fellow podcaster, keen sportsman and someone who’s relentlessly curious to find ways to improve himself.

Born with only 40% vision in one eye and then diagnosed with ADHD, his story and approach to life is truly extraordinary.

Some of the inspiring and thought-provoking topics we cover are:

Having to accept constant help at hand from a young age, and the challenge then to craft his own independence as he grew older.
At aged 14 being forced to lie flat dead still for 2 weeks after eye surgery the feeling of being lonely and helpless encouraged him to accept his situation
How this has meant he’s adopted a philosophy of Life events happen for me and not to me
Benefit of learning from others and letting them help you the feel good factor they experience from doing so
Showing gratitude when accepting help
In US asking for help is seen as weak and yet by simply lowering your ego can be seen as strong
Our accept-help blockers often come from our default to help out everyone else first versus ourselves
It’s not selfish to priorities yourself first, since you gain the energy and self-love to be better placed to help others
Being selfish is when you don’t share your success, lessons learned, achievements, and are always looking for something in return
Creating an accepting and asking for help culture will help the mental health of society
We don’t know what’s behind the perfect picture on social media - to not judge and perhaps reach out to offer help
Pat yourself on the back when you accept even the small offers of help to start to make habitual changes in your life
Biggest way to pay someone back who has helped you is to help someone else

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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This episode is with David Wasserman, a good friend of 30 years, a Sydney based Entrepreneur, passionate dog owner, sports fan and cricketerProudly independent resourceful and never wanting to make a fuss.He's had a rollercoaster history of health challenges: Crohn’s disease, stomach surgery, arthritis, and this year an ankle replacementLearn how to walk again

Some themes we cover:

Distinction from professionally asking for help and doing so personally. And it being often much tougher to help yourself vs helping others - Being humbled by the abundance of support from friends family and work, particularly recently, which included a highly unexpected massive gesture of help from a friend to support him on his recovery from ankle surgery. - How being a foodie and a very proud chef, left him the challenge of letting people cook for him in his beloved kitchen. - Being vulnerable enough to accept help to go the toilet at football matches. - The importance of having team of support and help around you for recovery. - How accepting help has in a game-changing way strengthened friendships and relationships. - New found respect for disabled and their challenges. - Hospitality we are all hard-wired to serve and help. - Nurses are walking saints, dealing with people at their most distressed - they know what to say and lift your spirits. - Can’t do it all by yourself and the power of collaboration. - The importance of self care and mental health. And at the end we discuss how the simple power of accepting small gestures - a reach out thinking of you phone call, friends dropping off magazines, coming over to have a laugh and take your mind off things.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this episode I speak with David Rosen, an old school friend, professor and founder of his own law practice.

Proudly stoic, philosophical and extraordinary self reliant.

His recent journey is quite the rollercoaster. During the pandemic he got divorced, his law firm went into liquidation, was hospitalised by Covid, and then in January was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And yet after it all he remains philosophical and sees the silver linings.

Some of the topics we cover are:

Some surprising yet game changing-coping mechanisms he discovered from cancer charities and his own research.
How being angry impacts our ability to heal from cancer
His fascinating mantra of being kind, leads to being humble and grateful. This helps you lose your ego and pride, to then be vulnerable enough to ask for help.
Priceless support of trained nurses, and guides from charities.
Darkest moment of being in tears turns into him consoling a neighbour.
Power of taking a breath.
Take control vs being reactive.
The impact of a ‘thinking of you’ text.
And we reveal ways to rethink accepting formal support and help. To embrace some simple but life-changing tools to make it easier for us all to ask for and offer help.

I hope this conversation helps you as much as it did me.

And that you may share it with a friend, family member or work colleague who may benefit from it too.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this episode, I chat with Tom Bagnell. A successful business owner from the UK, marathon runner and father of two young kids living in Amsterdam

At the beginning of the pandemic he was diagnosed with a stubborn Stage 3 melanoma cancer. He talks about his brutal journey of 7 months of 138 sessions of radiotherapy and immunotherapy and the feeling of helplessness that triggered the need to welcome help into his life.

Some themes we cover are:

How Team Tom naturally came together to be his help and support network. This provided help on tap from people who simply didn’t take no for an answer.
His surprising reaction to once given the all clear, of feeling a big anti-climax, then anger about why me and then a few weeks later once the professional support stopped, quite severely anxious and depressed. And it was during this time and not during the treatment, when he most needed help.
Tom talks very honestly about how a good friend help him get over his mental block of being a therapy-cynic to eventually seeking and benefitting from life-changing counselling and professional help.
How his instinct now is to offer help gives him energy, and has made it easier to ask for and accept help.
We learn how Tom has taken these lessons and used them in way he hadn’t expected.
We talk about a hypothesis as to why middle-aged men are hard-wired to be resistant to asking for help due to the legacy from our twenties when we need to show we've got our shit together - to be seen as the alpha male and the best potential father for your kids!
And finally we reveal some hacks about offering help to make it easier to accept.

I hope this conversation helps you as much as it did me.

And that you may share it with a friend, family member or work colleague who may benefit from it too.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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On 8 Apr 2022 I was urgently admitted to hospital with a lymphoma and v rare auto immune disease. And then put on a debilitating chemo and immunotherapy for 5 months.

Since then I’ve been a life changing and transformative experience.

I used to be and prided my self on being independent and self-reliant.

However whilst in hospital at my most helpless, I had to learn to accept help and ask for it.

During this time I had a light build moment. It became clear people genuinely enjoy offering help, and felt even better when it was accepted. This became the much needed wake-up call to now accept help and ask for it when I most need it. And to trigger the opportunity to experience this mutual gift of help.

This podcast features conversations with people who share their inspiring health journey stories of how they’ve overcome anything from cancer to concussion, ankle reconstructions to even blindness.

Plus their experience of accepting and asking for help. We also explore tips and tricks, hacks and ideas to welcome more help into our lives. Since if this series can encourage as many people like myself to become more help receivers than help rejecters then we trigger a tsunami limitless joy in your world and everyone around us.

Since I truly believe that embracing the gift of help can transform all of our lives.

And this can all start for all of us, as it has done with myself, with the realisation that by helping yourself we’re helping each other.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

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In this first episode, recorded in September, I talk about my own health journey story with a good friend of mine. We cover a lot of fascinating and revealing topics.

The surprising way I first dealt with my diagnosis of a lymphoma and rare auto immune disease.
The tsunami of help offers I received during this first few days in the hospital

- Some funny but then also harsh reality check instances of being forced to ask for help.

The light bulb moment of how I first fully appreciated this concept of the mutual gift of help.
The fascinating idea that: by being vulnerable is actually being brave, and selfish can actually be selfless.
How a tragic loss during my childhood may have influenced the instinct to be self-reliant created these barriers to accepting help.
At the end we come up with some powerful ideas and practical tips on how I’m getting over these mental blocks, ones that can be helpful for anyone.

I hope this conversation helps you as much as it did me. And that you may share it with a friend, family member or work colleague who may benefit from it too.

You can contact me on:
Email: ashley@giftofhelp.org
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

The Gift of Help: Recent Episodes

Ashley