Wives Who Thrive Workshop™: Recent Episodes
Danielle West
Clear communication can be elusive. I help wives use proven communication techniques to have peace they desire in their marriage.
Wife & Mama with two little ones – a 5 year old and a 1 year old trying to be intentional in her marriage. See how she does it!
https://intentionalmarriages.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/IMEp16FINAL1.mp3
Comment below if you plan to take one of these tests?
Resources mentioned in the Podcast:
YouTube Video
Self-Assessment Tools
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Instagram Live Conversation with Sandy Viteri of Viteri Vibes Marketing! https://intentionalmarriages.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/IMEp15FINAL1.mp3
Comment below if you plan to implement any of these suggestions?
Resources mentioned in the Podcast: Click Here!
Learn more about Viteri Vibes Marketing!
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ep 1 marriage manual for newlyweds (insider tips!) https://intentionalmarriages.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/IMEp14FINAL.mp3
You can see this podcast on YouTube!
Comment below if you wished you had been this prepared before you got married!
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Chandler & Jamen https://intentionalmarriages.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/IMEp13FINAL.mp3
Conversation between Dad (Russ) and “Second” Mom (Danielle)
Comment below if you wished you had been this prepared before you got married!
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Narrated by Danielle West
Want to review the blog post?
Click here —> Check-In or You May Check Out
Comment below on your intentional practice of checking in with your spouse.
Love learning from our community!
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Who is Russ West? Russ West is an amazing husband, devoted father of two, favorite son, tallest brother and wrestling uncle. He never meets a stranger and loves to learn about people’s stories. If you ask him what’s important to him besides his walk with Christ, he would tell you it is to help others both personally and professionally. Life Verse:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
Two Takeaways:
Family of Origin Have you thought about the impact of your family of origin on your relationships/marriage? Normalizing is copying the same behavior your parents modeled. Or you could be repulsed by your parent’s behavior and do the opposite. It’s important to know which behavior you are modeling.
Ask your spouse, “What is it like to be on the other side of me?” (question credit: Pastor Jeff Henderson)
Proactive counseling has created so much compassion in our marriage.
Intentionality “It only takes a pulse to fall in love but it takes a plan to stay in love.” ~ Andy Stanley ~ What’s your plan on staying in love?
Weekly Check-In – Read here for a detailed description by Russ West
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Who is Rebecca Summer? Rebecca Summer works hard to balance her roles as Wife, New Mom, and Executive Assistant. She enjoys spending her time with her family, getting creative in the kitchen, dabbling in graphic design, and continuing to learn how to be a strong, educated woman as a model for her young daughter. Life Verse: Inspired by how Jesus loved others in both His life and death, Rebecca keeps that in mind as she tries to follow these three principles each day: Be Intentional – Love Everyone – Give Grace Four Takeaways:
Compromise Becca shared that she and her husband Michael learned to compromise earlier on in their relationship when it came to their social calendar. Michael loves spending time at home watching movies but Becca would always fall asleep on the couch. They wanted to be intentional about their date nights and decided to go to the theater as a way to compromise. Learning to meet your partner’s needs happens over time and with a lot of communication. Compromise does not mean you have to make sacrifices as much as it means you are willing to find a middle ground together. Communicative differences Linguistics expert Deborah Tannen notes that everyone has a unique communication style. When we enter into relationships, those communication styles will inevitably clash. Becca shared that it took her and Michael years to figure out their communicative differences. When it came to making decisions, Becca just needs top-level facts whereas Michael likes to know all the details surrounding the topic and needs to know the why. She learned to make time to communicate the details for Michael and developed compassion for him instead of frustration. You can’t make everyone happy Becca learned that she had tendencies to be a people pleaser. She believed she was making Michael happy by being concerned about his Mother’s happiness. Though her intentions were pure, in the end, she was left unhappy and exhausted. Psychologist Jay Earley says people-pleasers are prone to anger when their behavior causes them to lose sight of their own needs We can become so caught up in our partner’s life that we neglect our own well being It is a wonderful thing to be selfless and concerns about meeting the needs of others; however, it’s important to find balance and make the happiness of your marriage the priority. Adoption https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/2394-gods-got-this-a-guide-for-considering-adoption
Geremy & Meriam Dolan Who is Meriam Dolan? Meriam Dolan wears a lot of hats, mostly Mom, Wife, CPA and loves to contribute her time outside of the family to Birds on a Wire Moms.
She wants to run the best race with every day she’s given and stay in her own lane.
Life Verse:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
Four Takeaways:
Noticing Your Partner
Meriam shares that her feelings changed for Geremy when she was intentional about being observant of his actions. This is so important because it’s so easy to get caught up in a romance that you lose sight of reality. “Positive illusion” is the tendency to overlook what you don’t like about a romantic partner and just focus on what you do like”. Meriam shares that ‘Acts of Service’ is one of her Love languages and something as simple as Geremy taking the trash out a party was so admirable in her eyes. What someone does, how they speak to others, how they act, and what they pursue are all very telling about a person. If you’re paying attention, you’ll see more of what makes them who they are. Practice Slow Love Meriam and Geremy had developed a strong foundation with a friendship before getting married. She shares that this, in turn, gave her a sense of confidence going into the marriage because she knew who Geremy was, what his values were, and how he arrived at decisions.
A 2015 study of 3,000 married people in the U
EMPOWERING HISPANIC WOMEN TO SUCCEED IN THE US! Marcela Reyes is an Entrepreneur, Coach and Lecturer on success and motivation. Twenty-seven years ago she came to the United States in search of a dream and now, she wants to help Hispanic Women make their dreams come true. It is her desire through the Website to inspire, equip and motivate them to achieve everything their heart desires to conquer. She shares everything she has learned over the years through her experiences and specialized knowledge in this the country of opportunities, where you can achieve whatever you set out to do. With clear goals, an action plan, the necessary discipline and your desire to realize yourself, you can achieve everything you want. Marcela hopes to be the source of inspiration and guidance to show Hispanic Women the way.
Links/Scripture: Marcela Reyes Website: https://hispanarealizada.com/
Tres Dias Websites
- https://tresdiasconcristo.org/
- http://tdng.org/
- http://www.tresdias.org/
Four Takeaways: Early Expectations in Marriage Having expectations of your spouse will always lead to disappointment. You can have desires of your spouse but placing demands on them will only lead to resentment.
Advice before getting married Ask God for permission…He will show you. There is danger in following your emotions. It takes courage in following His will. Perhaps God is protecting you vs preventing you. Let go and let God. Know their values.
Compare business with love! If you treat your marriage with the same principles you use in business…putting the customer first, meet the customer’s needs, etc…you will live out the word love.
One Language For those blessed with speaking more than one language, Marcela recommends choosing one language when talking with your spouse.
EMPOWERING HISPANIC WOMEN TO SUCCEED IN THE US! Marcela Reyes is an Entrepreneur, Coach and Lecturer on success and motivation. Twenty-seven years ago she came to the United States in search of a dream and now, she wants to help Hispanic Women make their dreams come true. It is her desire through the Website to inspire, equip and motivate them to achieve everything their heart desires to conquer. She shares everything she has learned over the years through her experiences and specialized knowledge in this the country of opportunities, where you can achieve whatever you set out to do. With clear goals, an action plan, the necessary discipline and your desire to realize yourself, you can achieve everything you want. Marcela hopes to be the source of inspiration and guidance to show Hispanic Women the way.
Links/Scripture: HispanaRealizada.com
Tres Dias Websites
- https://tresdiasconcristo.org/
- http://tdng.org/
- http://www.tresdias.org/
NPR station WABN Interview
Thrive – a marriage curriculum designed to help couples build stronger marriages…together.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12
Three Takeaways: 1. Do you work with your spouse? Working with your spouse might not be the best idea for your marriage, especially if you work out of the house. The lines became blurred between personal and professional for Marcela & Ray.
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How do you give back to your community? Marcela is a great example of giving back to women of her own Latino culture. She inspires, empower and offers the knowledge and tools to immigrant Hispanics in the United States to achieve success through personal, professional and business development.
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What does it take to be married again? Thrive was a great marriage curriculum. It was a reminder of the tools necessary to be married well along with the small group mix of couples sharing their own journeys. Marcela also discusses how her latino culture plays a role in her interactions.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we’re talking to Kelli Hall. With a passion for all things paper, Kelli Hall balances elegant patterns, colors and textures with humor and whimsy. By combining her love for painting with an appreciation for beautiful detail—-hailing from a background in fine art, graphic design and magazines—-Hall’s love for new places, culinary creativity, animals and her family comes though in her finished pieces.
Link: Kelli Hall Design
Two takeaways: 1. There is no image to protect. Listen to the transparency in Kelli’s personality in how she asks questions about her faith and doesn’t try to hide her curiosity in a culture here in the deep south that is deeply identified by it’s faith.
- Creating boundaries around your newly formed marriage/family. Kelli’s husband chooses his wife first and creates a boundary around their immediate family. Any challenge with his extended family he steps up to resolve.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we’re talking to Kelli Hall. With a passion for all things paper, Kelli Hall balances elegant patterns, colors and textures with humor and whimsy. By combining her love for painting with an appreciation for beautiful detail—-hailing from a background in fine art, graphic design and magazines—-Hall’s love for new places, culinary creativity, animals and her family comes though in her finished pieces.
Links/Scripture: Kelli Hall Design
Philippians 4:13: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Two takeaways: 1. Faith + Love and how it impacts Marriage. As Kelli has grown in her new found faith, her love for her husband has grown deeper, as well.
- Pray together as a couple. Kelli shares about being new in her faith and incorporating prayer into their marriage. It’s not easy to start praying out loud but we talk about a couple suggestions.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we’re talking to Kelli Hall. With a passion for all things paper, Kelli Hall balances elegant patterns, colors and textures with humor and whimsy. By combining her love for painting with an appreciation for beautiful detail—-hailing from a background in fine art, graphic design and magazines—-Hall’s love for new places, culinary creativity, animals and her family comes though in her finished pieces.
Links/Quotes/Books: Kelli Hall Design
Andy Stanley Quote: “It takes a pulse to fall in love but it takes a plan to fall in love.”
Book: Pride & Prejudice
Three takeaways: 1. Premarital Counseling Should you or shouldn’t you?
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Learn How to Argue Well There are smart ways to argue. Don’t believe in the lie that if you have to work at your relationship something is wrong.
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Transitions Re-entry can be harder on one spouse vs the other. Recognize the tension and give grace when needed.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we’re talking to Kelli Hall. With a passion for all things paper, Kelli Hall balances elegant patterns, colors, and textures with humor and whimsy. By combining her love for painting with an appreciation for beautiful detail—-hailing from a background in fine art, graphic design, and magazines—-Hall’s love for new places, culinary creativity, animals and her family comes through in her finished pieces.
Links: Kelli Hall Design
Four takeaways: 1. Be sure to ask for the cocktail straw! Although this is a fun story to hear how Kelli met her husband, it’s a great reminder you have to ask for what you want. So many of us wish really hard for a spouse to show up or a job to get better or friends to call us. Step up and step out!
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Living together produced unexpected anxiety. There was an underlying anxiety Kelli experienced when living with her then-boyfriend, Matt. Every encounter was judged with, “Would I marry this guy if he does this…?” Once they were married there was no dramatic effect of the ‘cut-and-run.’ Marriage now forced them to process their arguments within this new container.
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Sharing your hopes and dreams. The Weekly Check-In is a 3 step process. Sharing your hopes and dreams is part of the Weekly Check-In conversation. You would be surprised how often your partner’s hopes and dreams change. Are you checking in with your spouse?
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Proactive Counseling One of the benefits of doing proactive counseling is when, not if, but when a crisis shows up it is better to have a counselor who knows your family history, knows your strengths and weaknesses to be able to immediately speak into your crisis versus getting to know you.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we’re talking to Melinda Denison.
Links: Melinda Denison Design
instagram.com/melindadenisondesign
Three takeaways: 1. Are you becoming the wife you hoped to be? Why or why not? The pressure of flipping houses together with her husband created an uncertainty in their future. Renovating their home coupled with posting her art was an act of vulnerability on many fronts. There was a financial risk woven throughout this whole journey, as well. Listen to how Melinda learned how much stronger she grew as a person and as a wife.
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Making dreams come true! Melinda and Jeremy learned about sharing their dreams with each other on a more frequent basis. This was a new and intentional exercise for them. It’s been beautiful to hear how they both are being intentional in making even the smallest dreams come true like taking dance lessons.
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Taking risks together. From job changes, to moving, to renovating has been difficult but Melinda and Jeremy believe in failing forward with NO safety net. Very few people take such bold risks. We sometimes think couples are skating through life events but Melinda shares how present the anxiety and fear was during the process.
Summary: On today’s podcast, we are talking to Melinda Denison.
Links: Melinda Denison Design
instagram.com/melindadenisondesign
Books: Jump in by Mark Burnett
Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge
Love Does by Bob Goff
Four Takeaways: 1. Know any friends struggling with Marriage Proposal Ideas? Send this podcast to all your guy friends wondering how to propose to their girlfriends. Melinda has a romantic husband, for sure!! Also, learn the history on why guys take a knee when proposing.
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Self-confidence for creatives can be paralyzing. I’ve been watching Melinda grow with courage everyday to post her art. Art is not something she just posts, art is part of her. It has been a daily struggle of anxiety and the fear of failure vs the complete reliance on God for her identity.
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What is in your marriage toolbelt? Melinda used to think counseling was only for folks on the verge of the divorce. But now she sees counseling as someone who can pour wisdom into their marriage. Being intentional means being proactive with counseling. Why wouldn’t we accept counsel into the most important relationship?
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What is one piece of advice you would share with someone getting married? Melinda shares how she has learned to forgive quickly and love unconditionally. Resentment builds quickly when left unresolved. Listen to the beautiful example in how her husband was a great model of showing this type of love and forgiveness.
