Relating to Self: Recent Episodes
Joachim Brackx
In this episode of Relating to Self, I have a conversation with Helena Roth.
Helena Roth wrote the book Doing Gentle with an Edge and leads the project tankespjärn.
You can read her thoughts on Twitter.
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- what does Relating to Self mean to Helena?
- the sense of returning to Self
- healing by getting out of your own way
- what does that mean for trauma?
- the voices in our head
- who's in the driver's seat?
- dependent, independent, interdependent?
- how to find your tribe
- asking for what you need
- Helena's edge - tankespjärn
- a challenge a day makes for a good day
- the idea of cross-pollination
- the difficulty of relating to self around and with others
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In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Suvarchala Narayanan for whom wealth is a state of mind and who cultivates her eroticism.
Suvarchala is a tech and business journalist and has a business as a consultant designing and guiding identity change, next-level relating, and eroticism.
You can find Suvarchala and her work here:
- https://www.instagram.com/life_of_audacity/
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/suvarchalanarayanan/
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- The foreign concept of Self-Love and the problem with it
- Centering the Self
- The Nature of Self as Love
- Love as Acceptance
- Learning to Remember
- Letting Go (what is good)
- The Paradox and Multitude of Life
- Pain without Suffering
- Tension
- And much, much more!
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to DanRam who has continuously reinvented himself.
DanRam is an MC for huge conferences, a 5 times TEDx speaker, a transformational coach, and a powerful influencer.
You can find DanRam and his work here:
- https://www.iamdanram.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/iamdanram/
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- The tools we are given vs the tools we find in our journey of Relating to Self
- Using different personas to explore who we are
- Self-development in community
- Getting better at re-seeing ourselves
- The dark side of self-development
- Habits and DanRam's 5G routine
- Start Now, Start Simple
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In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Khuyen Bui who sees the self as inherently relational.
Khuyen Bui wrote the book "Not Being: The Art of Self-Transformation" with co-author Steven D'Souza. He is an executive coach and has talked at TEDx, the Drucker Forum, Creative Mornings, and companies like Danone.
You can find Khuyen and his work here:
- https://twitter.com/gkhuyen
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/buikhuyen/
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- Contact Improv
- "Follow your bliss" by J. Campbell
- Boundaries and true intimacy
- The importance of awe for our wellbeing
- Aliveness
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Rhea who takes better care of herself than anyone in the world.
Rhea Mehta is the founder of Living Rhea, a scientific wellness consultancy with services including 1-on-1 health coaching (Institute for Integrative Nutrition), scientific communications (writing, research, talks, interviews), and strategic advisory.
She is the co-founder of Bowhead Health, a cutting-edge Canadian company leveraging blockchain and smart contract technology to help individuals safely track, own and manage their health and wellness data.
You can learn more about Rhea and her work here:
- https://linktr.ee/rheamehta
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- How to practice kindness towards yourself
- Mindvalley events and workshops
- Neuroplasticity and how to retrain your mind
- Joachim & Rhea's combined experience as musicians
- Fibromyalgia
- Burning man
- Ayahuasca
- How suffering can catalyze self-transformation
- Mantras to practice openness & acceptance
- The relationship between openness and holding strong boundaries
- The power of saying no
- Heuristics to assess the transgression of boundaries
- How to build a strong support system
- Creating space by detaching from relationships that no longer serve you
- Discerning fear vs. intuition
- Breathwork to develop willpower
- Rhea's music & mantras
- And much, much more!
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Eleonora,who relates to the woman in the mirror.
Eleonora is a Ph.D. candidate who helps researchers and businesses access "neuroscience-as-a-service."
Learn more about Eleonora and her work here:
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/eleonora-borda/
- https://www.instagram.com/bordina93/
- https://linktr.ee/whattodonext.podcast
Topics, resources, and valuable links mentioned in the episode:
- Improvisation to break the chain of fear
- How improv can improve your most important relationship {with Mary Lemmer}
- The joy of experiencing solitude
- The toxicity of "not being enough"
- Joachim's appearance on the "What to do Next Podcast"
- Visualization meditations from Joachim on Insight Timer
- The correlation between internal and external tensions
- The importance of acceptance and quieting your inner critic
- Practices to cultivate self-kindness
- And much, much more!
A parting quote from Eleonora:
"You can’t prepare the path for the person, You can only prepare the person for the path."
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Amy,who cultivated a growth mindset through Ted Talks.
Amy is the Founder of Next Gen Facilitation and helps prepare the Next Generation for Modern Life.
Learn more about Amy and her work here:
- https://linktr.ee/EducationAmy
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- The shortcomings of traditional education
- Internal vs. external motivation
- How Amy cultivated a growth mindset through Ted Talks
- The importance of rest in personal development
- The many benefits of exercise
- Psychotherapy as a tool for self-exploration
- Finding and updating your core values
- Amy's advice for reaching out to people, seeking help, and finding your people
A parting quote from Amy:
*"You can’t prepare the path for the person,
You can only prepare the person for the path."*
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Stephen,for whom daily happiness is entirely relationship-driven.
Stephen Ladek is an explorer & entrepreneur who helps others find focus, fulfillment, and freedom through radical accountability.
Learn more about Stephen here:
- https://www.ladek.com/
Learn more about his work in online education here:
- https://linktr.ee/lmspulse
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- How Stephen views relating to self as an act of introspection
- What are the most important questions you have to ask to improve any relationship?
- The limitations of online identities
- Letting go of one identity to embrace your more authentic self
- Why Stephen identifies first and foremost as an explorer
- Joachim & Stephen discuss the different impacts of their childhood
- How growing up in middle-class America prompted a path of exploration
- Stephen's transformation from living an unremarkable life to becoming a person of extraordinary capacity
- Why mediocrity is the word that gives Stephen the most fear?
- The importance of intentionally investing in deep relationships
- And much, much more!
A parting quote from Stephen:
"Why not commit to saying yes? Let's make this a moment. Let's make this extraordinary."
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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In this special turn-the-tables edition of the Relating to Self podcast, former guest Eagan interviews Joachim about trauma, healing, intimate relationships, and much more.
Eagan is an entrepreneur & digital marketer with a deep passion for philosophy. You can learn more about his Eagan and listen to Eagan's first appearance here:
- Relating to Self - S01E05 - Eagan
- Follow Eagan on Twitter
- Caravan Digital
In today's episode, Eagan & Joachim speak about:
- The success of the Relating to Self podcast
- Joachim's journey of healing
- Habitual patterns & hedonistic pleasures
- The practice of stepping into pleasure
- How trauma patterns can manifest differently
- How to remove negative people from your life
- Joachim's thoughts on intimate relationships
- The value of deep human connections
- The importance of sitting with hardships
- How to work through trauma in intimate relationships
- Holding space and taking ownership of responsibility
- Joachim's 'controversial' take on traditional marriage
- The perceived value of eternal life
- An alternative approach to celebrating intimate human connection
- And much, much more!
A parting quote from Eagan:
"There is so much we are not ready to hear."
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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- Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Maxwell who begins each day with journaling with poetry.
Maxwell is a storyteller, filmmaker and creative. He currently works as a partner and Creative Director at Telescope Studios.
You can learn more about Maxwell and his work:
- Telescope Studios
- https://twitter.com/Maxwell_Kang
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- The difficulties of relating to others
- Morning routines (and how to create them)
- Habit creation and sustained motivation
- How to create and maintain a journaling practice
- Reducing friction
- Starting small and celebrating small victories
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Habitual cues and trigger action points
- Habit stacking
- Creating a wind-down routine
- Learning from trauma
- When is the best time to meditate?
- Learning how to be a good partner
- Listening and questioning stories that we tell ourselves
A parting quote - "Collect moments, not things."
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- Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Anna,or is it a conversation with one of her parts?
Anna V is a clinical scientist, brainstormer, believer, and storyteller on a mission to bridge the gender health gap.
Learn more about Anna and her work:
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/annavyb/
- https://www.instagram.com/the.sassytribe/
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- Menstrual leave policies
- How startup culture catalyzed Anna's search for self-compassion
- The importance of saying no
- The societal notion that suffering is necessary to reach your goals
- Anna's experience with burnout
- How yoga taught Anna not to always go 100%
- Lessons learned from hiking
- Cold shower therapy
- Internal family systems
- And much, much more!
Parting quote:
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”
— Seneca
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- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Benjamin Tirone Nunes for whom whatever he gives his attention has something to tell him about himself.
Creative at heart, Benjamin is passionate about giving expression to human possibility, always seeking to explore drivers of transformation. He is the Managing Director at Rebundance.
You can learn more about Benjamin’s work and listen to his curated playlist here:
- https://rebundance.com/about-us/
- https://twitter.com/BenTN
- https://tinyurl.com/bensspotifyplaylist
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- Using conversations as a tool to understand yourself better
- The benefits of having “annoying” friends
- How to develop tools to understand your needs
- The power of making delicious and healing food
- Misconceptions about personal development and the importance of vulnerability
- A Beginner's Guide to the 7 Chakras
- How Benjamin finds peace at 1AM in the morning
- Joachim and Benjamin’s shared the love of music
- Ben’s experience attending more than 450 live acts in two years
- Using music as a tuning fork for the current cultural zeitgeist
- The relationship between the music and the lyrics
- “What am I giving attention to and what is that trying to tell me”
- How to broaden your concept of relationships to be more open and seen in the world
Sign up for the newsletter to receive:
- Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Aurore Fagnen who is consciously entering in a relationship with her own fingers.
Aurore accompanies women to heal and reveal themselves through the power of their sensual bodies and their sexual energy.
You can learn more about Aurore and her work here:
- https://aurorefagnen.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/aurore_fagnen/
To continue improving your relationship with yourself and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:
- https://relatingtoself.com
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- Creating space for quality time for and with yourself
- How your environment impacts your relationship to self
- How to take responsibility and own your pleasure
- The societal shame and guilt associated with self pleasure
- Sex as an essential tool for self-knowledge and exploration
- The difference between urban & rural life
- The difference between apartments and houses
- Self-partnership
- The Inner Work of Partnership
- How to craft an environment for thriving partnerships
- Making conscious choices according to your hierarchy of values
- If you do not address your needs, they will express themselves
- Joachim’s Simple Mindfulness Meditation
- Subtle embodiment practices to improve self-awareness and sexual intimacy
- Ecstatic dance
- Relating to body parts & Internal Family Systems
- Proprioception
- Rituals with essential oils
- Using taste to deepen self-connection
- And much, much, more!
If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review.
In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Amanda Efthimiou, who believes that slowing down can speed things up.
Amanda is a strategist & storyteller working at the intersection of mental health advocacy, technology, and psychedelic wellness.
You can learn more about Amanda and her work here:
- https://www.amandaefthimiou.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/amaiou/
- https://medium.com/@amanda.amaiou
To continue improving your relationship with yourself and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:
- https://relatingtoself.com
Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:
- Amanda’s personal history with mental health and how plant medicine became part of her story
- The many benefits of plant medicine
- Her journey moving from Berlin to Lisbon and the power of pausing during moments of transition
- The importance of integration
- Internal and external motivations
- The influence of the ocean for Joachim and Amanda in relating to self
- The idea of how we ride the wave of life is what really matters
- The inner knowledge within the body
- Rituals of meditation, yoga, dace and surfing
- How psychedelics can shift your relationship with different parts
- What are mentors and how to find mentorship?
To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:
- https://relatingtoself.com
Sign up for the newsletter to receive:
- Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Natasha Figueroa, whose magic zone is the narrow gap between out of the comfort zone, but within the boundaries.
In this conversation, they explore a wide array of topics including:
- The many benefits of being open to feedback
- The differences between introversion and extroversion
- The immense power of the voice for self-exploration
- The f*ck yes mentality
- Natasha’s “magic zone”
- Stepping into fear
- Intrinsic wisdom & self trust
- Natasha’s identification as the queen and king of boundaries
- The societal shame associated with saying no
- Why the word “no” is among Natasha’s favorite words
- The concept of damnation and its relationship to codependency
- And much, much more!
Natasha Figueroa is the founder of Jellyfish Heart, whose mission is to:
- Support people to embrace vulnerability
- Lead to intimacy & connectivity
- Foster a loving relationship with self
- Realize & release judgements
- Refocus on heart & body over mind
- Share tools to be our most authentic selves
She also works with Art International as a facilitator for their program, “The Art of Being Human.”
You can follow Natasha on Instagram:
- https://www.instagram.com/jellyfishheart/
To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit https://relatingtoself.com
Sign up for the newsletter to receive:
- Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- Podcast updates and other valuable resources
Mary Lemmer brings joy to empowering people to improve themselves and the world around them. She believes that improvisation is a practice that can lead to a better relationship with yourself.
Mary is the founder of Improve, a company that improves people’s lives by using techniques inspired by improv comedy and behavioral research.
In this fascinating conversation, Joachim and Mary explore:
- The improv warm-up technique “Crazy Eights”
- How to use rituals to prepare for podcasts or important events in our daily lives
- The importance of letting go of thoughts and getting into our bodies
- How Mary incorporates different breathing techniques like pranayama into her daily routine
- Mary morning routine of meditation routine and “Morning Pages” the journaling technique popularized by Julia Cameron
- Joachim’s experiment with lucid dreaming and maintaining a dream journal
- The inspiration and insight of dream interpretation
- How the fundamental improv principle of “Yes, and…” directly impact your relationship with yourself
- Mary’s belief that improv provides a psychologically safe space to practice new beliefs, behaviors and habits.
- How improv not only helped Mary with honing her skills as a comedian, but also allowed her to deepen her perspective, self-inquiry and exploration.
- Talking to yourself (or your pet) as a technology for thinking
- Joachim’s experience as a professional musician and the idea “that there is nothing that engages the brain more than performing music.”
- The difference between rote memorization and improvisation
- How improvisation allows you be more fully in the present
- “We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are” ― Anaïs Nin
- The benefits of shadow work and Internal Family Systems
- The improv technique first word last word
To learn more about Mary Lemmer and her work, visit:
- https://marylemmer.com/
- Watch her debut comedy special “Living with my Parents”
- Watch her Ted Talk "How Improv can Improve your leadership and life"
- Learn more about her company “Improve”
To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit https://relatingtoself.com
Sign up for Joachim's newsletter to receive:
- a free collection of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
- simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
- podcast updates and exclusive resources
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"My story of self is exactly that - a story." - Joachim
He opens with a story about meditation. And how his first dip into it gave him a breath of clarity. This, he concludes, was the beginning of the healing process of his core trauma. Meditation on unconditional love opened him up to release the tension he holds for certain people. In working to help people feel love in his own mind, Joachim has embarked on a journey he is now cruising on. The current scene is that of turning to himself for tension resolution. Troy mentions the strange violence that is considered normal when somebody exerts the tension they feel onto others.
To not having a space to express himself outwardly growing up, Joachim has responded with expressing himself through music in his mind. And then making it all about expressing himself through the music he composes. Troy's observation on that is how creatives who come from intense trauma tend to be overly focused on creating the perfect piece that would make people understand them. Now Joachim has turned to understanding and accepting himself.
"Meditation is sitting with what is" - Joachim, as quoted by Troy.
Let's sit for a moment with this final episode of the first season of Relating to Self.
The host who is visiting today, invites you all to ask your questions. Send them to stela@relatingtoself.com and they shall reach him.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Sara tends to lose herself in a conversation as she tends to focus on other people's needs more than her own. She has devised an approach to counter this. It consists of 3 steps. The first one is to acknowledge what the other person needs, then to acknowledge what she needs herself and finally to voice that need. Elaborating on being authentic with others, Joachim compares conversing with dancing, in the sense that the more experienced your partner is, the better the flow. "Why do you need a second person to be yourself?" Sara asks herself.
The two discuss difficult thoughts and how simply acknowledging them and being present can help alleviate them. "Instead of quieting the thoughts, I enter the kinder garden" remarks Joachim.
Sara leaves us with the sentiment that "It's so beautiful in this relationship with ourselves. It's that it's always changing and always evolving... if we're not afraid of relating to ourselves."
Our guest has a podcast herself. It's called Learning Day and can be found on all of the major streaming platforms. Here's a link for convenience: https://anchor.fm/learning-day
And they have a web page at learningday.community
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Isla begins by taking us through her home in her head. Herself is sitting there, waiting for them to connect. But she didn't immediately notice that the home was occupied. It took some exploration. Now she sees this connection with herself there as relating to self.
Space is very important to our guest. She makes sure to tweak the place she inhabits just enough so that she can feel safe there. Along with that, Isla takes care to nourish her headspace. Her journaling habit is largely observations on her thoughts and sensations. We also hear about her more formal explorations of her mind, guided by a therapist.
Isla poses a question: What isn't self-love?
Also do you dance with your belly?
And she recommends a book - The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
For Julius, relating to self comes in two parts. The first one he's experienced for longer. It's about looking in and discovering who you are in the moment. The second part is acceptance of what you find. Our guest was stuck on the idea that he should cater to what people need him to be. Then he came to realize that when he leans into his authentic self, people tend to be drawn to him.
Julius is soon to be a father. He both realizes that he will have to move relating to self to the side. And that he will be partially relating to himself when he relates to his child. Because his child will also be a part of himself. In preparation, Julius is working on stabilizing his relationship with himself.
Our guest shares his thoughts in a newsletter one can sign up to through https://www.juliusbachmann.com/. He also welcomes anyone who might want to reach out to him there.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"The beliefs I have about myself are what defines which actions I take and do not take" Georgie feels responsible and cares for who she is going to become. She is mindful of the long term impact that her actions might have. In the sense of teaching herself to act and be a certain way. "If I don't do things because I am afraid, and I stay with the familiar, the long term impact of that is that I never grow."
Our guest sees the inner critic as a helpful voice that helps us manage our expectations of ourselves. It tries to make sure that we don't try something we'd fail at to prevent us from not trying it ever again. She advices us to embrace that voice and thank it for protecting us. But recognize sometimes that you shouldn't be listening because there are other parts speaking that may know better.
Georgie and Joachim agree that boundaries and being specific improve both our relationship with ourselves and the ones we have with others.
Georgie's company website is at https://www.triggerconversations.co.uk/
Their social media accounts can be found at https://www.instagram.com/triggerconversations/ and https://www.facebook.com/TriggerConversations/
And you can follow our guest's thoughts at https://conversationswithgeorgie.substack.com/
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
We apologize for an episode cut short due to internet connection.
"You're either in the mental story, or here." Sam concludes that we are either happy and present in the moment. Or we are rummaging through our head trash. He practices mental showers to not only clean his body, but process what has happened to him throughout the day. He says that acknowledging a negative emotion takes away its power.
For a while, Sam had adopted a constant "all is well" state of mind. Until he noticed that it didn't drive him to move forward. So he pushed it back as his default and started to engage in deep work of envisioning. That proved beneficial.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
For Ayah, we are not a human being having spiritual experiences, but a spiritual being having human experiences. And a prerequisite to getting the most out of it is to have a strong body that can support the mind as it reaches outward. In this talk, our guest takes us through some of what she's learned in 7 years of daily meditation practice. And some of that knowledge happens to be about finding comfort in not knowing.
Ayah and Joachim talk about a class with an interesting approach. It's called The Class and you can find it here: https://www.theclass.com/
Our guest's website is ayahnorris.com and you can also find her on Instagram @ayahnorris - https://www.instagram.com/ayahnorris/.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Annelies is threading through a transition. Learning to take in less at a time so that she can appreciate it more. She admits to not being able to rest but has slowed down her life recently due to Corona. This has proved beneficial for her.
It must be difficult to rest when your craft is simultaneously the thing that drains and recharges you. And not practicing it makes you unhappy. Part of what makes it so tiring is that Annelies is able to tap into the perspective of different people. This takes up a lot of energy but makes for a more engaging writing.
Annelies is an author of a number of books that you can find listed and described here: https://www.flandersliterature.be/books-and-authors/author/annelies-verbeke
He latest inspiration is a book about insects called Insecten by Peter Berx and Lieven Scheire. It has helped her form a less anthropocentric perspective on life.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"Self love isn't about anything in particular, it's a state of being."
For Alina, curiosity is the safe way she can meet herself. It does not nag her as other parts of her inner voice would. She compares it to the Joker. And shares that it allows her to play, shift things around. In embodying the Joker, Alina tries to not take herself too seriously. This part of her justifies itself and pulls her out of dark places.
It is important to make a second between impulse and response. This gives you the power to make a choice, she tells us. Alina has a strong intuition and a lot of energy to follow it. This sometimes leads her to cross her boundaries. The way she counters this is with her breath. It helps her return back to herself.
Our guest's methods of relating to herself include swimming and swirling like a Dervish. She also enjoys being her best lover. Overall, she is in tune with what she needs in a given moment and gives it to herself.
If you want to follow more of her thoughts and insights you can find her on Instagram @i_embrace.life.
She also shared her website with us. Head to https://wefeast.life/ to find a juicy bit more.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Grace suggests that we should be wary of the self-development culture and mind when we start seeing it as something that we should do, as opposed to something that we want to do. What we can do instead is recognize that we are only humans and exercise compassion with ourselves when we slip into unhealthy behaviors.
Our guest enjoys being in tune with herself and present in the moment. Joachim adds how somebody being in tune with themselves invites other people to let go and be fully present as well.
She points out the importance of talking to yourself nicely. Her method of doing that is by trying to treat herself as a friend would treat her. Joachim chimes in to point out how there is some difference as we don't spend 24 hours of each day with any of our friends.
Grace has written a book called Chill out and Cheer up. You can find that on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Chill-Out-Cheer-Up-Ten-Step-ebook/dp/B08RXFXJRT
You can also find our guest on Instagram: @graceygrossman
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
For Matteo, relating to self brings a sense that there is something other than himself that he is relating to, or rather, different parts of him that relate to each other in different ways. There's him and then there's the judgement or assessment of him.
Our guest goes on to talk about the concept of shadow work - there are parts of ourselves that because of being denied expression in a natural way, find a way to manifest themselves in a destructive manner. People mistakenly think that they can get rid of these parts that they don't like. Our guest points out that this is more likely to be possible if we first accept them and bring them to light. For Matteo, martial arts and track and field have been a way to bring out his aggression in a healthy and controlled way.
He suspects that our unwillingness to change the parts of us that don't serve us is connected to a fear of ego death. Or losing the story that we have about ourselves. "I think some sense of physical strength and power can support a little bit more safety even in adventuring in a space when it feels unsafe psychologically."
"You will change, your relationship will change as a result. And not everybody will stay. You have to be ready for that if you're gonna learn how to do this well." Matteo is a coach who trains others to be coaches. He says that the skillset of a coach helps people have a more in-depth understanding of the underlying dynamics between people.
You can connect with our guest on LinkedIn at https://uk.linkedin.com/in/matteo-trevisan-coach?trk=people-guest_people_search-card
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Laura sees a practice of relating to self as essential. She wishes more space was dedicated to it. Not just physical but also through people who are modeling it and creating a space for others to engage in that as well.
Our guest has an avid inner critic in two aspects. One is about how she thinks about productivity. The other is concerned with how people perceive her when she is prioritizing herself. Her way of dealing with this is to step back and name the stories that the critic tells her. Vocalize them in order for them to make sense to her.
She steps back from what she has created and tries to see it through the ambiguous eyes of a stranger. Through this she often sees things that she subconsciously put in the work.
Laura shares her inner world through images and poetic words at @lauracincera_ on Instagram and @lauracincera on Twitter. And you can also find her on Medium at https://medium.com/@lauracincera
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
For Nissa, relating to self is on a deeper level than self-love. It is the ability to see and recognize who you are and where you are and to fully bring compassion and love to that. Self-love can overlook the reality. But relating to self pushes you to accept it and then love yourself. Joachim adds that relating to self happens even when you don't love yourself.
Our guest used to have a very rigid understanding of meditation, where you sit down with your legs crossed and that would be the only way. But over time she got to a point where she sees life itself as a meditation. She believes that any moment offers an opportunity to begin again.
Both discuss how when making a frequent small mistake, some people label themselves as a certain thing that makes that mistake. But that only gets them to identify as that thing and perpetuates the pattern. There is maybe this idea that "If I say it first, then they can't say it", that they will know we're aware of it and possibly working on it. But in labeling ourselves a certain way is accepting that this is how we are and that we can't be changed.
Nissa is working on a project called Sōsai, which is the Japanese word for counterbalance. The handle on Instagram is @sosaiorg and they are also on substack.com under the same name.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"Life is a journey of deepening your relationship to self. We can go through tough times or good times, or easy times... but things become so much easier to navigate when you have a solid relationship with yourself." This is how Leah defines relating to self. She believes that everything we go through in life deepens our relationship to ourselves. Tough times present us with opportunities to strengthen the bond we have with ourselves and understand it better.
Leah believes that trust and love are core values that help us alleviate tension we might have within ourselves. It is important to trust ourselves so that we know whatever life throws at us, we can handle it. Maybe it won't turn out for the best, but we will be able to endure it.
We don't have much control over things, Leah believes. But what we do have control over is how we choose to react. Realizing things are your of your control is scary but freeing as well. When things do happen, the bigger our reaction to them, the more important they are to us.
For Leah unconditional love for yourself means being there through good and bad times. Joachim ads that for himself this love is one that doesn't ask for anything. A simple desire that somebody lives a wonderful life. And how you relate to other people is determined by how you relate yourself.
You can find Leah on a number of social media with the handle @leahebae. She is most active on Instagram.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"I see relating to self as being very grounded in understanding the self." At first, Rebecca's relationship with herself was about understanding, then fixing herself. It has now evolved to also be about acceptance. She carefully picks when to support herself and when to challenge herself to become better. "The choices that I see as worthwhile are the ones that require me to grow and that will challenge me and force me to step into my higher self and overcome challenges." she adds. We have a choice when we notice something about us that is in our way. We can either work on it or we can accept it as it is.
Rebecca and Joachim also discuss triggers. And how we have options there as well. They agree that when we are triggered we can either remove ourselves from the situation, maybe even avoid it in the first place, or we can choose to endure it so that we grow through the challenge. Rebecca keeps a trigger journal in which she details what triggered her. After a triggering situation has fully passed, she thinks about how she would like things to be.
The two discuss trust and how we need to trust ourselves in order to be trustworthy. We can learn to trust ourselves by being consistent with our practices. If we make plans about practices we do and then we blow them, we won't trust ourselves and that will result in negative feelings towards ourselves.
Rebecca is on Instagram where she will be posting updates on a book she is writing: https://www.instagram.com/therelationshipdesigner/?hl=bg
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"In order for me to really know who I am, there's an element of myself that needs to relate to others." Songya began her journey of relating by thinking about how kind and compassionate she is toward others. This then turned into an exploration of how kind and compassionate she is toward herself.
For Songya, relating to herself is intertwined with how she is perceived by those around her. She lets their perception of her guide her own. In all her connections, she strives to be a person one can be fully themselves with. And much like the kindness and compassion, she turned this back to herself, asking how much she allows herself to be authentic.
Both Songya and Joachim agree that we cannot focus solely on self-love as this neglects parts of ourselves that still require some work. Being authentic means acknowledging your shortcomings and, Songya points out, if we try to suppress and hide them, they find a way to express themselves in negative ways.
Our guest has a website where you can learn more about leadership and executive coaching: http://songyakesler.com/
Songya would like to leave us with the following sentiment: Learning to express our emotions (good, bad, and ugly) in a healthy way is a giant leap towards cultivating self-love because it requires us to accept how we are feeling and to trust ourselves enough to let it out. Trust and acceptance (of self and others) are paths to love.
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"For me, relating to self is attending to the needs of the whole body" says Galy. In this talk we learn of the many ways she relates to herself. She goes through what she does in order to feel comfortable in her own skin. That might sometimes takes a toll on her. But not because she does it. Sometimes her reasoning is not aligned with self-love.
Galy has a busy schedule of relating to self. She would like to share some of her methods with you.
She recommends Kyle's website for yearly reflection deep dive: https://whichritual.com/2020-2021-ultimate-reflection-integration-guide and Michael Pollan's book: https://michaelpollan.com/books/how-to-change-your-mind/
Then she points to a Gratitude journal she uses and tips us that it also has a nice newsletter on self-care: https://www.intelligentchange.com/products/the-five-minute-journal
Galy's field of work leads her to be a proponent of psychedelics as a means to aid mental health, especially in terminally ill cancer patients.
She points us to the most prominent non-profit for psychedelics - MAPS: https://maps.org/
As well as the company she works for: https://www.atai.life/
Finally she wishes to bring light again to Haneen's Sex Homework Society and recommends the handbook, as well as the course itself: https://sexhomeworksociety.com/
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
Joshua does some things in a different and peculiar way. When he craves change, he focuses on changing his environment instead of his mindset. He acts chaotically when the world is stable. Then he settles down when everything is chaotic.
Complement this talk with Joshua's essays at bit.ly/jkessays
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"How do I relate to myself in this moment?" asks Asya in the beginning of this colorful talk. She then goes on to describe relating to self as not linear - something we keep coming back to. Together with Joachim they explore the practices each needs in order to access their inner voice.
The conversation is steered a lot toward dancing. From a way to unearth tensions in your body to accessing new things within your mind. For Asya, even the self is not still. It changes, much like the movements of a dance, when we imagine, create and build.
Our guest has an advice to offer - any time there's a question in your mind, know that you already have the answer within yourself, just tune in and listen.
Design your own local or international solo journey with Asya! Program begins late May: Asyaazar.com/solojourney
And follow her on Insta: @asyaazar
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"Maybe the conversation starts for me: who is that voice, is there value there, should I take that seriously?" begins Eagan in a talk about our inner critics and where they come from. How do we know weather we can trust ourselves? And which parts of ourselves can we trust? "I think if you're living perfectly rationally but you're out of alignment with your gut, you're not on a good path and I think that will catch up with you."
Eagan leaves us with an advice in support of morning routines: Don't wake up and go right into whatever your duties are. Spend some time to think and get yourself right and then go into that world of duties.
Another thing Eagan recommends is this productivity course: https://ebenpagantraining.com/product/wake-up-productive/
You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
"You can love yourself in almost every small action during the day"
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"I choose to see the beauty of myself and that can amplify self-love", Cayo points out early on. He then goes further to suggest that we should love ourselves as we love those we've fallen in love with - with compassion and unconditionally. He reminds us that this is available to everybody.
"It's the small deeds, the mindful little tweaks that I do, mindfully at the beginning and then at some points they're just there." speaks Cayo about his self-love practice. And although he admits that more of the things he does in a day are not self-loving in particular, as opposed to the expressions of his self-love, his mindset allows him not to focus on what he's not doing or what he cannot do.
Cayo also has a suggestion for a way we can relate to ourselves: he advises us to appreciate parts of our body before they are in pain or no longer functioning. Touch them and look at them. "And if you are very brave you can go to the parts that you don't love and have compassion towards that"
You can find Cayo's Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/jancayo.fiebig
And Joachim's Twitter account is here: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.
"You perceive what you are. The world appears to you through what you can experience because of how you see yourself in the world." Tells us Troy.
In this episode, our guest and Joachim discuss our perception of ourselves and how it conditions us to act. "The more I reduce my own suffering, the more suffering I reduce for the people I interact with" concludes Troy, after pointing out that we let others treat us how we treat ourselves.
Troy is a dear friend and colleague of Joachim. They've been having genuine and meaningful conversations for years now. Join them in a conversation about Relating to Self.
Troy recommends Joachim's work and in particular this meditation: https://insighttimer.com/joachim/guided-meditations/self-love-practice-gratitude.
If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/
Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change in their lives. The relationship you have with yourself is the only relationship that you will always be in.
"There's also another way of relating to myself, which is way more loving. Which is that it's okay to be mediocre. You don't have to be the best. You don't have to ruin yourself with work and with sports, and whatever competition you want to win. But it's also okay to just be who you are, and appreciate that." - Roel
You can find Roel and his amazing Scenario Cards at https://www.instagram.com/scenariocards/
If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and sign up for our newsletter at http://www.relatingtoself.com/
You can also follow Joachim on Twitter: @JoachimBrackx
"Pleasure is our birthright"
This is only one of the many gems that Haneen expressed in our conversation. In this very first episode of this podcast, I talk to Haneen Khan. I met Haneen when I enrolled in her online course about sex, the Sex Homework Society. I felt an immediate connection with her that went beyond her work as a facilitator. She is such a warm and joyful person.
I am absolutely delighted that she was my first guest.
You can find her here: https://sexhomeworksociety.com/
If you enjoy this conversation, please subscribe to the podcast.
And if you'd also like my meditations, reflections, rituals, and perhaps even a Relating to Self community, you can sign up here: http://relatingtoself.com/