Blue Acres: Recent Episodes
Frank Corrado
Boy loves farming. Girl is a farm escapee. Jake and Twinkle mix it up as he leaves the big city to grow blueberries in the Michigan Fruit Belt. Join them on their journey to the land where nuts grow fruits. Based on a true story, Blue Acres gives a humorous inside look at the making of a farmer.
Episode 1 – Beginnings
It’s the early 2000’s and thirty year old Jake is itchy to get out of his city boy poser lifestyle and “do something with his life”. At an afterwork bar he meets Twinkle a bartender who's escaped from a Michigan dairy farm for big city life. On a lark, she agrees to go with Jake to his parent’s Michigan cabin where they exchange life stories over a campfire.
Episode 2 – A Farm of His Own
Jake and his dad, Mike, are at the family cabin in Fruitville, disussing local customs – like shooting into the air randomly and why some many locals have first names that start with the letter “L.” Mike sees an ad in the local newspaper for a couple of small blueberry farms. He and Jake walk the field with the owner, Mr. Wiley, who is delighted that a young person might go into farming. An offer is made and Jake is now a farmer in training. When his buddy Andy comes up to help, all their vehicles get stuck in the mud until the new next door neighbor digs them out with his big John Deere tractor. They end up at the local tavern and meet a sassy bartender named Honey.
Episode 3 – Growing Concerns
Almost from the start of his new career as “farmer” , Jake finds himself being tugged as by bad weather, hard chores and all kinds of paperwork and meetings. At a local blueberry meeting, he’s laughed at for wanting to grow “organic” berries, but is taken under the wing of a sympathetic county agent.
Episode 4 – Haircut
With Twinkle coming up for a visit soon, Jake is not impressed at what he sees in the mirror. Time for a trim and encounter with Fruitville society at the local barbershop, where the local gossip is a bit too much for him, as is the Amish looking haircut he ends up with. Twinkle learns of Jake’s fixation on one-syllable names as they snuggle in his newly acquired smelly trailer.
Episode 5 - The Market
Jake’s starting to worry about how his new farm is going to make money. ;He’s already into his parents for a bunch of money and needs so marketing help. His mom Anne’s the go to for help and she’s quick to see that blueberries come in many forms – jams, raisins, and the like. His new confidence doesn’t last long as he encounters a prickly manager at a Chicago farmers market who says she already has a blueberry seller and steers him towards applying to an Inclusion Festivalthat is anything but. Taking a break to lick his wounds at the family cabin, Jake encounters a surrealistic outdoor show on local TV.
Episode 6 – Bee Careful
Jake has become a “go to” attraction for friends and family. First there is his auto mechanic friend Andy who found some bee hives at an Uncle’s place in Indiana and has brought some up to Blue Acres to help with spring pollination. Jake is afraid of the little stingers but knows he needs them. Next to appear is Peter, Jake’s brother with his wife Iris, all the way from California. Peter, an expert in offering advice and hoarding his money, starts right in on how the farm could be better managed. Iris has no intention of getting out of the truck and walking the farm. Jake reflects on happier times when he and Peter were kids.
Episode 7 – The Intern
Fast forward to June. The work load is ramping up, Jake is getting really grumpy. Twinkle demurs on adding to her workload and suggests he look for an intern. While they are discussing this in their beat up lawn chairs over some alcoholic kombucha, a hippy-looking Johnny Appleseed type named Delbert shows up looking for a place to stay overnight as he bicycles cross county. His long term plan is find a plot out west to grow weed. The three hit it off over a campfire stew dinner. Jake feels he’s found his intern, but Twinkle makes him test the market while Delbert is off visiting his sister nearby. Compared to the others, Delbert looks like a standout.
Episode 8 – Hooping it Up
Thanks to a grant, Blue Acres now has a giant new hoop tunnel. Jake enlists father, intern and family friend Kevin to do the erecting. Father Mike insists on standing in the high tractor bucket to do the bolting and Jake expresses concern, Mike alleges age discrimination is at work. Afterward, at the local tavern, Kevin remarks on bartender Honey’s fine looks as he has noted on a men’s room calendar. She says it was for a fundraiser and that she was also featured for a few other months due to too many husbands’ objections to their wives participation. Asked why he seems a bit mute, Mike complains that old folks can never say anything about sex without getting into trouble.
Episode 9 – A Frost
All of a sudden, a late season frost is on the way. Not only that, but the little farm tractor is not working. While Harry the local mechanic checks things out, Jake is on the phone with Mark, the county agent, looking for a miracle to keep his crop from freezing. Since Jake doesn’t have irrigation to help protect the bushes, Mark tells him to light a few fires in the field and spray water with hoses if he can. “…In farming we work at the margins,” says Mark. “Mother nature runs the show.” Harry gets the tractor working while Jake frets about the cost and scurries with Delbert to fix busted hoses. Luckily, it didn’t get as cold as predicted and Jake is relieved, for now.
Episode 10 – The Menagerie
There’s trouble in paradise as Twinkle comes down hard on Jake for wanting to increase income with the addition of farm animals. She tells him she was feeding animals at her family farm from the age of 5, but they never had to deal with u-pickers stepping over poop. With Twinkle back in Chicago, Jake gets some mail-order chicks to apply his maternal instincts to. At the same time, he rents space at the Amish farm nearby and talks Honey into moderating a goat-yoga session for paying customers. Things are fine until a loose ram barges in on the session. Mayhem ensues.
Episode 11 – Pickers
New questions emerge: how is the farm going to attract u-pickers and who’s going to help with the harvest? Anne, Jake’s marketing pro mom suggests local signage emphasizing organic berries and ads versus too much reliance on social media. Jake’s neighbor Fernando explains his high price for getting professional pickers is because both the berries – and the field – are small. Jake turns to Delbert to round up local down and outers in the area. When they show up Jake realizes what a handful he and Delbert are going to have managing them. Later that day, Jake has to do some fast talking to get back in Twinkle’s good graces after the goat yoga episode.
Episode 12 – Crunch Time
All of a sudden, everything is turning blue and everybody’s in motion. The field crew is working erratically, a local farmer tries to shake Jake down when he puts up a sign, and a wheel barrow full of berries destined for Twinkle’s market, hits a rock and spills. Despite all this, the berries sell out quickly as the tumbled over berries that had to be washed are re-branded as “wet with the morning dew.”
Episode 13 – Season Finale
County agent Mark is warning Jake that since he doesn’t spray pesticides, he has to get the berries out of the field quickly. In desperation, Jake asks Fernando for a Sunday crew, which is not going to be cheap. At the farm, Delbert is managing u-pick. A young woman with two bratty kids shows up for a “picking experience”. She expresses delight for finding a place with healthy berries as she continuously sprays the children with bug repellant. At the market, Twink is put next to a Hans, a seller of artisanal sauerkraut specialties. A buyer balks at her high priced organic berries. Back from the battlefield at day’s end, parents and crew face a setting sun with glasses of sangria and reflect on the season. Each of them has grown. And Jake is finally beginning to understand what I means to be a farmer with a plot of land, his own Blue Acres.