How To Stop Wanting Him Back: Recent Episodes
Claire Byrne
Heartbreak coach, Claire Byrne, breaks down exactly how you can finally STOP wanting your ex back on this podcast that is unlike any other heartbreak podcast out there!
Heartbreak is messy, painful and overwhelmingly daunting at times, but it can also be the gateway to embark on a new journey beyond your wildest dreams if you LET it. You will laugh, you will cry, and have your own mind BLOWN, by how POSSIBLE it will be for you to THRIVE from heartbreak, versus barely survive.
After years of enduring toxic relationships, and being at a loss on how to navigate through the pain, Claire is now dedicated to helping other women like her, not only STOP wanting him back, but become the best version of themselves, BECAUSE of the heartbreak.
PLEASE NOTE: Claire refers to her exes and the listener’s ex as a “he,” based on her own personal experience as a heterosexual female, but this work can be applied to ANYONE going through heartbreak. ALL genders and sexual orientations are encouraged to listen and apply Claire’s tools into their own lives!
These words are so powerful. I was recently working with a client, and when these words rolled off her tongue, and it made my heart soar. She came to me because she’s been in a relationship for several years that has not been serving her, and I’ve been coaching her through it, and when she said this, it was so empowering and was full of self-love and self-ownership. In this episode, I share with you the importance of being able to identify when this thought is helpful, versus when it comes from a place of feeling whiney. If your result that you are working for is to stop wanting him or her back, then you have to believe in your bones that you will not settle for less than you deserve, and that begins with showing up, doing the work, and falling the fuck in love with yourself.
Topics in this episode* Your thoughts create your results. * When you commit your brain to the result that you want, you will figure it out. * Check yourself with your self-coaching * Pining for someone who doesn’t see the good things about you
Resources* My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * Brook Castillo, The Lifecoach School Podcast: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcasts/ * @createthelove - Mark Groves on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/ * Articles on Poosh.com: https://poosh.com/author/claire-byrne/ * I Think I’m Great But Why Doesn’t He? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/3/25/i-think-im-great-but-why-doesnt-he
Work With Claire
https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
I was recently talking with a friend who is newly in love. She has asked another friend of hers, who is single, to hang out with her and her new partner, but the friend has turned her down because she didn’t want to be the third wheel. This is a topic I’ve also talked about with clients and listeners before as well. Instead of holding onto feelings that aren’t serving you, what if you turned it around and you used the couple that you were spending time with as evidence of what’s possible for you? In this episode, I share with you why it is so important to manage your mind around enjoying these friendships, and how to get over your victim story in order to call love in.
Topics in this episode* Finding love during a pandemic * Looking for moments when your heartbreak is serving you versus hurting you * You must be willing to lean into the pain and take responsibility * Whiney victimhood is never going to serve you. * It all starts with your mind, and with an appreciation for what is. * Use the friendships of those around you in happily committed relationships as examples of what is possible * Healing your emotional inner child * You wouldn’t be bitter if you really felt that it was in the cards for you.
Resources Grant Cardone, The 10X Rule*: https://www.amazon.com/The-10X-Rule-Grant-Cardone-audiobook/dp/B005DGW34C * Brit + Co Article, How to Get Over a Breakup During COVID: https://www.brit.co/how-to-get-over-a-breakup/ * My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * Brook Castillo, The Lifecoach School Podcast: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcasts/ * Setting the Bar Too Low: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/8/31/setting-the-bar-too-low
Work With Claire
https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
This episode is inspired by the work that I have been doing with a client recently. She was dating this guy and said that she was falling in love with him, but also recognized that he wasn’t emotionally available and showing up for her in ways that were very important. When I asked her why she was falling in love, it really boiled down to the fact that he was doing small gestures for her. Ladies. A sweet gesture is not enough of a reason to be in love with someone who is not showing up for you emotionally. I’m sure many of you listeners can relate to her experience, and in this episode, I dive deep into what it looks like when you’re setting the bar too low, how to establish the values that are important to you, and calling in love in your ideal relationship.
Topics in this episode The 5 love languages: + Quality time + Physical touch + Words of affirmation + Acts of service + Gifts * Attachment styles * You should never have to guess your partner’s level of interest * The small things are added bonuses. * Important qualities to look for * What values are actually* important to you?
Resources* My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * More information on dismissive-avoidant attachment disorder: https://flowpsychology.com/dismissive-avoidant-attachment-disorder-style/
I have a course coming out in November that is going to be so much more affordable and accessible to you guys, teaching you exactly how to stop wanting him back through videos and modules, teaching exactly how to call in the right person. It’s a guided map so that you can’t not create these results you are looking for.
Work With Claire
https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
Some of you listening may think, “Claire, I am totally emotionally available. It’s the guys I’m attracting who are emotionally unavailable.” I call bullshit, in the most loving way. Like attracts like. If you’re thinking you’re emotionally available, but you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, there is something in you that is emotionally unavailable. In this episode, I share with you the journey I’ve been through when I was emotionally unavailable, and how I got myself, and work with my clients, to get through this, so they can change their thoughts, and call Mr. Right in.
Topics in this episode* Where are you being noncommittal, in your dating life, and with yourself? * The work comes from your thoughts. Your thoughts create your results. * Think, feel, and behave as the woman in her ideal relationship * Why deadlines are helpful and how to assess our progress if we don’t meet the deadline for a goal * It’s not about how many dates you went on, it’s about the mind and how you are showing up * If you’re feeling lonely, lean into the loneliness and be the partner you think you need in order to cure your loneliness. * Healing heartbreak is not a linear process.
Resources* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clairetheheartbreakcoach/ * My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * Why Can’t I Find the Love I Deserve? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/8/17/why-cant-i-find-the-love-i-deserve * When the Work Isn’t Working: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/7/26/when-the-work-isnt-working * Articles on Poosh.com: https://poosh.com/author/claire-byrne/ * Stacey Boehman: https://staceyboehman.com/
Work With Claire
https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
This episode was inspired by a conversation with a new client who, on her consultation, asked the rhetorical question, “Why can’t I find the love that I deserve?” This is something I have heard other clients and women ask themselves, and in this episode, I really get into what it is at the heart of this question we are asking ourselves, and I reveal that this question doesn’t actually serve you or the results you desire. It starts with getting real with what your brain is saying, doing the work, and not letting yourself off the hook.
This is also the exact kind of thing I help clients with. Working with a coach can be very powerful because they can see your blind spots and they can show you where it is you should be showing up for yourself. If you are looking for a coach and you think we may be a great fit, you can apply for my one-on-one coaching at https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Topics in this episode* The intentional thought model * The two thoughts behind “Why can’t I find the love I deserve?” * I can’t find love * I deserve a certain type of love * The real issue is that you haven’t been giving yourself that love that you feel you deserve * Learn to date yourself * How to rephrase: “I deserve this” in a way that serves us * What would the heroine in your story do? * Get clear on the result you want. And then get clear on what the thoughts are that aren’t yielding you that result.
Resources My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * Stacey Boehman: https://staceyboehman.com/ * Brooke Castillo podcast, The Lifecoach School: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcasts/ * Brooke Castillo, Self Coaching 101: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Coaching-101-Brooke-Castillo/dp/0977853993 * When the Work Isn’t Working: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/7/26/when-the-work-isnt-working * Jenn Sincero, You Are a Badass at Making Money: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Badass-at-Making-Money-audiobook/dp/B01MQSSGFT/ * Poosh article, Heartbreak - Not Because of Him - BECAUSE OF ME: https://poosh.com/heartbreak-not-because-of-him-because-of-me/ * Heartbreak in Your Ideal Relationship:https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/6/14/heartbreak-in-your-ideal-relationship * Byron Katie, Loving What Is*: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0082PQ3G0 * Abraham-Hicks: https://www.abraham-hicks.com/
Work With Claire
https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/work-with-me
Editing and show notes by Roth Media
I recently finished reading Wealth Warrior by Steve Chandler, and it inspired the topic of today’s episode; why you’re not doing the work. As I share in each episode, the thought model I use with my clients is the same that my coach uses with me: your thoughts create feelings, that drive actions, that yield you results. In Steve Chandler’s book, he takes a slightly different approach. For his clients are feeling stuck, he tells them to pick something, and go all in. In this episode, I explore this idea a bit more, and how it compliments the thought model I use in my coaching, as well as why you aren’t doing the work, and what it is that’s holding you back from the results you truly desire.
Topics in this episode* The 3 reasons you aren’t doing the work * You’re not ready * You don’t believe it works * You are scared of success * When you’re suffering, and struggling, and in pain, you’re probably not motivated to do the work. * What makes me the coach I am today * Why I always said yes * Eating a shit sandwich * My daily hour I spend with my future self
Resources Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clairetheheartbreakcoach/ * Articles on Poosh.com: https://poosh.com/author/claire-byrne/ * Heartbreak in Your Ideal Relationship:https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/6/14/heartbreak-in-your-ideal-relationship * Let’s Talk About Vulnerability: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/8/3/lets-talk-about-vulnerability * My Heartbreak Story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * When the Work Isn’t Working: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/7/26/when-the-work-isnt-working * Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1594634726/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=big+magic&qid=1597021656&sr=8-2 * Steve Chandler, Wealth Warrior: https://www.amazon.com/Wealth-Warrior-Personal-Prosperity-Revolution/dp/1600250408/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=the+wealth+warrior&qid=1597021718&sr=8-2 * Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com/ * Brooke Castillo, Self Coaching 101*: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Coaching-101-Brooke-Castillo/dp/0977853993 * Heartbreak for Black Lives: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/6/8/heartbreak-for-black-lives * EFT Practitioner, Lena George: https://www.unplug.com/teachers-new/lena-george * Heart-Healing Crystals with Courtney Abbiati, of The Urban and The Mystic: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/9/30/heart-healing-crystals-with-courtney-abbiati
Work With Claire<
In this episode, I want to discuss vulnerability and the vulnerability in your dating life. This topic was inspired by some of my clients, and coaching them to realize that getting what you desire, getting to that ideal relationship, requires us to be vulnerable. We have to lean into the suck, lean into the pain, and know that what’s on the other side, and being in our ideal relationship with Mr. or Ms. Right is worth it.
In this episode, I share with you some personal experiences with vulnerability, especially in my current relationship, as well as sharing some of the coachings I have done to help my clients have difficult conversations with the people they are dating, in order to get them the results they want. By the end of this episode, I want you to know that when you are vulnerable, and when you choose you, you win.
Topics in this episode* Defining vulnerability * Your two choices: * Stay small and safe, out of fear * Step into your vulnerability and get results * You can create anything you want * Fear and discomfort won’t go away * Tell people who are you and what you’re looking for. Be unapologetic about it. * You deserve what you want. * Your ideal person is out there. Focus your thoughts on the possibility that he/she is out there.
Resources Simone Grace Seol: https://www.simonegraceseol.com/ * Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap*: https://www.amazon.com/Big-Leap-Conquer-Hidden-Level/dp/0061735361 * My heartbreak story: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/4/1/my-heartbreak-story * Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/ * How Committed Are You? https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2020/7/6/how-committed-are-you
I really wanted to make an episode about this because I make a guarantee to all my clients that come to me, that they will get the results they are looking for if they do the work. I am able to make this guarantee because I know that it works and that your thoughts create your results.
I received a message from a listener of the podcast, and she said that listening to this podcast inspired her to leave a partner who was not treating her well. She’s been really picking up what I’ve been putting down about how our thoughts create our results. She was nursing the wounds of someone else not treating her well, and so when she entered into a new relationship, she had fears that he would fuck her over.
Why do men disappear? This is a very commonly asked question from people on social media, and it has actually been a running theme for a couple of my clients. One client in particular came to me wanting to heal her heart about her past relationships and she’s moving through the process of wanting to love herself so beautifully, and she’s ready to online date again.
How committed are you to stopping wanting Mr. or Mrs. Wrong back? Maybe you have stopped wanting that person back, but how committed are you to stopping the anger, bitterness, and even the fear of being heartbroken again? In this episode, I want to recognize that we are now halfway through 2020 and it’s important to remember the results we want to create and that we can create those results with our thoughts.
This episode is inspired by a client who struggles with getting closure from her last relationship, which is especially difficult since he just left and never spoke to her again. She was all in with coaching for six months, finding her way, and being strong in resisting the urge to contact her ex. However, every time she went out on a date, she started to lose some of that resistance.
Validating who we are from the people we love is normal, and it's okay. We need to allow ourselves that sense of relief, regardless if that relationship will work or if the guy will show interest in you or not.
Frankly, I was struggling in finishing this episode with all the negative thoughts I have, not to mention the pandemic and these couple of weeks that there is a lot of going on with the black lives matter movement. This is a contradiction to everyone listening especially to those who are in pain that they might think that the work that I do doesn't work. How am I experiencing heartbreak in an ideal relationship anyway?
Welcome to a very special episode, Heartbreak for Black Lives. I am bringing on one of my nearest and dearest friends, Aisha Kabia. We met 11 years ago when I moved to LA. She embraced me with open arms, and it was the beginning of one of the most treasured and beautiful friendships that I have in my life. We’ve had many conversations over the years about so many different topics, but the one thing we’ve never really talked about is what it’s like to be a black woman in the United States.
What's harder than heartbreak? Breaking your freakin' patterns! If it's not serving you, change it! I was inspired to do this episode because one of my closest friends, Samantha, who is stuck in a pattern in her dating life. She is in a wishy-washy relationship with a guy that has been dragging on and on. Even when she has all of the information and can see that he is unavailable, she stays in this pattern of off and on again dating with him.
This episode is inspired by a recent conversation I had with someone who said that they have been listening to this podcast for a while now, and they are picking up what I’m putting down. However, they’re struggling with the idea that “It’s just a thought”.
This episode is inspired by a listener review, and as much as I have the best intentions, I know that my coaching isn’t for everyone. My insight and coaching as a heartbreak coach only works for those who are open and willing to work with me.
I am excited to share with you a recent conversation I had with my friend and client Natalia. She started coaching with me last December and has had the most amazing transformation through our time working together. She was with her ex for about 10 months and was devastated and heartbroken when we had our first chat. Her story is something that she wants to share with all of you, where she can be of service and to let everyone know that you are not alone in this situation.
The topic of this week’s episode, feeling like you’re not enough, was inspired by a client who started working with me in December. She was heartbroken and lost, and was ready to dive in and dig deeper, do the work, and heal her heart. Now, that she has, she’s been able to start opening herself up to the dating world again. A huge part of her journey is learning the boundaries, and not apologizing for things she does not feel she needs to apologize for.
When someone ends a relationship, it feels like a part of us died. It feels like it becomes a struggle to live normally, without them in the picture. Take, for instance, what one of my listeners is going through because of a recent break up with her boyfriend. She is lost and feels as though she could not go on with all the pain and longing she has for her ex, the dilemmas of either moving on, or holding on until he comes back.
If you’ve been listening to this show for any amount of time, you know that I am against contact with your ex. No contact applies to anyone who is still carrying the torch for their ex, who is still in love or seeks any deeper connection from that someone. Don't let Mr. or Miss Unavailable barge in again to your life and put you in a complete mess all over again. Constant contact will still result in a broken heart.
A conversation with my bestie, and sex coach, Danielle Savory provides more light to what women are unaware of: their sexual pleasure. We discussed why pleasure is important.
Most of us feel worst, especially if you're brokenhearted, as we are juggling our emotions along with losing human connections because of social distancing, which is necessary right now as we are getting through a pandemic. That's okay. Emotional pain, rejection, and loneliness are just those human emotions that we constantly experience throughout our lives.
A lot of us feel lonely, bored, out of focus, or spaced out with the ongoing isolation to the real world because of the pandemic, and if you just consider the positive side that this caused us, you would realize that this is the best time to heal, grow, and set your perspectives, especially if you're in the midst of a broken heart. I am happy to be with bestie Jamie today, as we discuss and answer some of the questions which are bothering you, and help you see the silver lining of Covid-19.
Before we can be able to focus on what we want in our life, we have to feel the pain, grieve and cry over it, may it be a relationship or a death of a loved one. As a Life coach, I am not into a quick fix. There's more to learn from the process, and we have to deal with it, no matter how or what or when.
What I love about coaching is when my clients let out their inner little girl and we can share all of the fear and thoughts they have so that they can release it and transform it into thoughts that will get them the results they desire. Speaking for myself, I know that my inner child gets triggered when she is anxious and when a big change is coming. Even now when I am in the most secure and loving relationship I’ve ever been in, my inner little girl is still freaking out.
What's so wrong with asking how your ex-boyfriend thinks or how those unavailable men think? Simple. It does not matter anymore! Get a grip and focused on your healing, on how you should change your mindset to attract Mr. Available into your life. Instead of wasting time with those men, why not put your time into use by creating positive vibes to attract a person who is for you. Remember, your thoughts create your reality.
When a person struggles for self-worth, sometimes it takes a whole village to put that person on the right track once again. Getting a coach is one of the best ways to break ourselves away from the hole we're in.
This week’s episode was inspired by a client I was working with recently. She is in her mid-20’s and I am so in awe of her and the work she is putting into herself and how hard she is working to create space for her ideal relationship.
How to distinguish a Mr. Unavailable? Simple: Look for all the signs, all the signals which would utterly see how pathetic their reasoning is, like hitting on you, making you feel so vulnerable and blows your mind, yet, gives you the BS excuses of not committing on you. This hot and cold behavior should be a trigger point for warnings. Seeking validation, a delusional sense of validation, from these types of men to make yourself feel better can only lead to your demise.
We, women need to know where we stand in the relationship. Let's not waste our precious time with men who only think of themselves. Those pushing and pulling scenarios which give you false hopes, toying with your emotions. This has to stop. It does not feel right to get yourself entangled with them. If you keep on attracting emotionally unavailable men, you will hinder yourself from attracting the right guy for you. Never forget to put yourself on the pedestal, claim your faults and learn from it, and be open to love again. Saying NO to Mr. Unavailable can only be a challenge if you kept on believing that he's not. But, if you see how amazing it is to let yourself be loved by that one true person, I always believe that you will grow together and be a better version of yourself.
Topics in this episodeTrue love is saying I love you without needing to hear it back
What are the core fundamental needs?
The hot and cold behavior, gaslighting, and the excuses unavailable men do.
Know and understand the characteristics of an unavailable men
What is emotional available about you? How an emotionally available woman attracts an emotionally available man? What is an emotionally available woman thinks?
What makes a great coachable client?
Don’t play with other people’s emotions
ResourcesAll I Want is for Him to Come Back: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/3/4/all-i-want-is-for-him-to-come-back
Brooke Castillo’s podcast, The Lifecoach School: https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcasts/
With Ashley Graber: https://clairetheheartbreakcoach.com/podcast/2019/10/28/is-it-my-gut-or-my-projection-with-ashley-graber
The most annoying phase a woman has to deal with when she feels like she's ready to open herself again? The past failed relationships. It creeps like a thief into the night, that left you confused, skeptic, and overly comparing your ex to the next guy you are with.
I get it. You are doing the work and you feel like you are ready for a relationship. And you think that being single is the problem.
Are you tired of wondering where your ideal partner is? I was working with a client this week who said that it’s difficult for her to keep committing because she felt like she wasn’t getting the result she desired.
Surrendering to what is. It’s a lovely concept. But today I’m going to tell you why you should stop surrendering in your dating life. It’s so important to remember that your thoughts create your results, and having the thought to surrender is a passive thought. In order to get the results you desire, you have to change what you’re doing, and that means changing your thoughts and taking action. In this episode, I share how to move out of that mindset and become the woman in her ideal relationship.
Befriending loneliness. Who wants that? I was working with a client recently who realized that she was in a pattern of being in unsatisfying relationships. She recognized that she was the common denominator, and that she was seeking out these relationships because she didn’t want to be lonely. If you are going through this and are struggling with loneliness, I want to help guide you through the process of giving yourself love and compassion, leaning into the challenges, and being your true self because it works.
Your dating life is working, even if you haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right. This is for my single people out there who are ready to date.
I recently did a session with a new client and she said that all she wants is to stop thinking about him.
Have you ever shared someone’s online dating profile to a friend, or multiple friends, and asked for their feedback? This is something a lot, if not all of us, do.
Welcome back to Part 2 of the listener Q&A with my bestie, Jamie McKeown. Jamie is an incredible health and wellness coach, specializing in all things natural organic. She was previously on the show in episode Bumble Shmumble. In part two,we answer some of your questions on dating and relationships.
Jamie McKeown is an incredible health and wellness coach, specializing in all things natural organic. She was previously on the show in episode Bumble Shmumble. In this episode, she’s back to help me answer some listener questions on early dating anxiety, getting out of moments of sadness, and why women are the ones doing all the personal development work.
I have been there. I recall a heartbreak, not the rock bottom heartbreak, but my first real adult heartbreak over 10 years ago. It was the first time that I experienced the brutal pain where I felt that I couldn’t get out of bed. The pain was a brutal price to pay, but I’m here on the other side.
This year has been so much about creating and transformation for me, which included creating 20 clients and the belief man plan where I was committed to thinking, feeling, and behaving as Claire in her ideal relationship. In my belief plan, I thought about the qualities my ideal man would have, but I never thought about emotional safety. Looking back at past relationships where I didn’t have that safety, I know that it’s because I wasn’t creating the space for it. In this episode, I share why it is important to have emotional safety, and how to get it back.
I pride myself on being a badass coach, and I also pride myself on being a very flawed human. I feel a lot of fear when I am opening up again, but I show up and I do the daily thought work, and I’m really loud and proud about that. In this episode, I discuss how to be tough on yourself, without shaming yourself. On the other end of the spectrum, it can also be really easy to let ourselves off the hook. So I also share why it is important for us to work hard and be hard on ourselves, in order to reach our goals.
Topics in this episode:
- When we set higher goals for ourselves, there’s going to be a chance that we fail.
- Plugging a circumstance into the thought model
- How to be hard on yourself, without shaming yourself
- The layers of shame within, “I’m still not over him”
- The new, intentional, thought-model
- Redirecting the care to yourself
- The committed practice of thought models
I have room for two new clients right now. Message me if you are ready to table the shame and put the pedal to the metal, and do the work to get you to where you want to go. It is totally possible. I am living proof that this work works. Email me at
claireyourmindcoaching@gmail.com
I want to share with you that it is possible! Mr. Right does exist! Your thoughts create feelings. Your feelings drive actions. And those actions yield you results. So before you can begin to think about a relationship with Mr. Right and what that looks like, you have to believe that he totally exists. You have this idea of your ideal partner, and you have to think about how you feel being in that ideal relationship and you have to believe that it is possible that that person exists. Then you have to go and be the woman that person would want you to be, and you can create the ideal relationship you’ve been looking for.
Is it my gut? Or is it my projection? This is the topic I discuss with Ashley Graber, who I am honored to have back as a guest in this episode.
At the start of 2019, I decided that this would be the year that I would dedicate to growing my business, and to start dating again.
When a friendship ends, often, we experience heartbreak just like we do in romantic relationships.
Claire brings on one of her favorite people, Courtney Abbiati, who just so happens to be the owner of the most beautiful crystal company, The Urban and the Mystic.
Claire brings her wonderful friend/colleague, Megan Ladd, who just so happens to coach life coaches on how to make money.
Claire was inspired to do this episode in response to hearing from several listeners and clients who desire to dig deeper on AUTHENTICALLY loving themselves.
Focusing on wanting a relationship to work in the future while it’s currently struggling, will F you up!
Claire brings back her bestie and health coach, Jamie McKeowen, to discuss what you should eat on a broken heart. EATING WELL IS CRUCIAL at this time, despite many people's resistance to food, thanks to no appetite when moving through a lot of emotional pain.
Jamie brings TONS of wisdom and tips on what to eat, what to avoid and AMAZING supplements you can take, that Claire herself uses and is obsessed with.
Even if he treated you like a piece of garbage, it's totally human to be in his business when it SEEMS like he's happy and has moved on with someone else
This episode is geared towards those who are still LONGING for their ex, who happens to have moved on with someone else.
Claire gives a whole lotta TOUGH love in response to a question from a listener/reader that SO many women want to know the answer to-- including her bestie, Jamie Mckeowen, who she brings back again!
Claire interviews her client of over TWO YEARS, Rachel Coll.
They dish on Rachel's initial heartbreak that made her call Claire, as well as the growing pains and wins that led her to where she is now, (including TAKING HER POWER BACK from all the Mr. Wrong's), how differently she shows up in her current relationship, the times she's gotten mad at Claire, (true story!) the value of paying for coaching, and her inspiration to become a coach herself!
A MUST-LISTEN FOR ANYONE WHO'S CURIOUS ABOUT COACHING!
References
Brooke Castillo's The Life Coach School Podcast
Claire's Heartbreak Story
Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart
Rachel's Coaching Website: www.rachelcollcoaching.com
Friendly reminder from Claire to APPLY the tools from this podcast, or hire her or someone else as your coach so that you can uncover blindspots EVERY human carries.
Claire reminds her listeners to ACTIVELY apply the tools she shares on her podcast! Big difference between sitting and listening to gems of wisdom VS taking what you hear and IMPLEMENTING them into your LIFE!
It's so easy to remember the GOOD when we find ourselves alone, thinking about Mr. Wrong.
Claire shares an offering she gave her client this past week, who has recently found it difficult to let go of certain qualities of a Mr. Wrong from her past, despite knowing in the depths of her soul, he is not the right man for her.
Claire and her brilliant, amazing, "no-drama" bestie she's known since high school, Jamie Mckeowen, (IG @wholelifejems) dish on dating in LA, and the BS shite that dudes pull on the dating apps, as well as their own flawed approaches and what they've learned throughout their years of dating.
This episode was inspired by a client of Claire's who recently had her heart broken quite abruptly by her long-term boyfriend.
Claire "THOUGHT" she was being attacked this week by the trolls who disapproved of her article on Kourtney Kardashian's new lifestyle site, POOSH.
Claire dishes on how being single, happy, and fulfilled BEFORE you welcome him in, is KEY.
Wait-- why is Claire talking about this if SHE'S still single?!?
She knows how but fully admits she's NOT DOING IT, CURRENTLY!
Claire calls BS on anyone who claims they've never thought they need a man to make them happy or complete the perfect picture.
Claire shares a few examples on how challenging it can be when we're in the thick of wanting to resist the urge of engaging with Mr. Wrong, or reaching for that extra DRANK or SUGAR!
Claire reminds us yet again of her favorite Byron Katie quote: When you argue with reality, you suffer!
She shares a couple of personal choices she’s made that caused more pain in the moment but that she ultimately has no regrets about, and shares why you shouldn’t either!
Also, if you are in the LA area and feel that therapy would be a better healing route for you, Claire highly recommends her amazing mindfulness-based psychotherapist, Ashley Graber.
Www.ashleygrabertherapy.com
Claire has the honor of having Jen Pastiloff as her FIRST guest!
Jen is the author of the upcoming bestseller, (100% it will be) ON BEING HUMAN.
Tune in to hear all of the magical gems Jen gifts us with about heartbreak on NOW WHAT? This is an episode and a book you DON’T WANT TO MISS.
Claire talks about how important it was to love her body during her recent cleanse, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE of the weight she gained.
Claire talks about her past, being a natural-born fighter, and although she hasn't "perfected" forgiveness without an apology, she does take credit for how far she's come.
Why do we do this?
Cultural pressure.
THINKING it’s what we want even if we’re not ready.
What makes us recklessly infatuated?
Physical chemistry.
This is Claire's FIRST completely unscripted episode, where she shares her raw, honest, and most vulnerable story about her rock-bottom heartbreak.
She laughs, she cries, and she intends to bring a comforting reminder to all of you who feel hopeless, at a loss, devastated, and stuck, that not only are you NOT alone, but you can 100% transform your life BECAUSE of this experience.
Life isn't happening to you. It's happening FOR you.
Who can relate to feeling SO good about yourself because you’re DOING THE WORK and then you attract an amazing man and it’s all lining up in the magical way you dreamed, and then…
He bounces.
The shame you’re feeling from others about how long it’s taking you to get over him is really the shame you feel for yourself. Claire says the first thing you need to do, is OWN how long it’s taking you to heal. There’s no pressure or rush to heal!
Just when you think you’re gonna SHOCK Claire with your heartbreak story, newsflash—she’s heard it all.
Feel the fear and resistance of trying my approach
Your brain is way more comfortable longing for him, but if you stay open to my tools this will for sure help you STOP wanting him back.