Recovering from My Child's Addiction: Recent Episodes

Shelly Summers

Has your son or daughter’s addiction impacted you in ways you never dreamed of? When you have a child who has the disease of addiction, you say, do, and feel things you wish you never had to experience. It is a journey you did not ask be on, yet you are. My twenty-two year old son, Joseph, has struggled with addiction since he was prescribed ADHD medication almost ten years ago. Nothing could have prepared me for what he would go through as his addiction evolved. And as his disease progressed, so did my overwhelming fear, anxiety, anger, pain, and helplessness. Just as an addict can work the Narcotic’s Anonymous twelve-step program as a catalyst to change their life, their loved ones have their own twelve-step program. The program is called Nar-Anon. This podcast is my journey through each of the twelve steps. I hope you will take these steps with me if you have also been affected by someone else’s addiction. Together, we will recover. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/my-childs-addiction/support

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Meet my youngest child in this episode as she shares her perspective about being the younger sister of a drug addict.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Meet my youngest son in this episode as he shares his perspective about being the younger brother of a drug addict.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Meet my oldest son in this episode as he shares his perspective about being the older brother of a drug addict.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Meet my husband, Nick, in this episode as he shares his perspective about being the father of a drug addict.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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In this episode, my son shares some of his story.

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Step 12 is the final step in the Nar-Anon program. In this episode, these 20 questions are discussed:

  1. What does being spiritual mean to me?
  2. What kind of Twelfth Step work have I done?
  3. What thoughts or feelings come to mind when I think of the word awakening?
  4. How has working the Twelve Steps led me to a spiritual awakening?
  5. How has my spiritual life improved as a result of working the Steps?
  6. What progress do I see in myself as a result of working these steps?
  7. Working the Twelve Steps has required effort and soul searching. How has accomplishing this given me more self-confidence?
  8. How has my understanding of the phrase "working the steps" changed since I started this journey?
  9. How have I seen my Higher Power working in my life as I have traveled this Twelve Step path?
  10. What does it mean to carry the message?
  11. What is the message I am trying to carry to others?
  12. What are some of the ways I can carry the message of recovery through attraction rather than promotion?
  13. Can I remember a situation when I shared the Nar-Anon message? How did it make me feel?
  14. What does it mean to practice these principles?
  15. How can I practice the principles in my group, area, and region?
  16. How do the principles of Nar-Anon work in my daily life as well as in meetings?
  17. What does it mean to place principles above personalities?
  18. How does practicing these principles in all my affairs contribute to a better way to live?
  19. What changes do I see in myself?
  20. How have these changes affected my life?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. In this episode, these 22 questions are discussed:

  1. What insights do I gain by praying for my Higher Power's willfor my life?
  2. If there are barriers to my reaching out in daily prayer, whatsteps and actions can I take to overcome them?
  3. Can I give an example of how my Higher Power answered myprayer through another person or a new experience?
  4. What are the consequences of doubting my Higher Power'savailability and willingness to provide help and guidance?
  5. Describe a recent situation where I tried to take control frommy Higher Power because of doubts.
  6. What can happen if I wait for my Higher Power's answer to myprayer rather than following my own self-will?
  7. How do I define prayer? Meditation?
  8. Do I find meditation difficult because of the thoughts goingthrough my head? What can I do to quiet these thoughts?
  9. What activities help me relax and get in touch with my HigherPower?
  10. Why is it important to listen to my Higher Power?
  11. What does conscious contact mean to me?
  12. What steps can I take to improve my conscious contact with myHigher Power?
  13. Did I reach out to my Higher Power today? Why?
  14. What is my current concept of a Higher Power?
  15. What experiences have shown me a Higher Power is at work in mylife?
  16. Because this program is spiritual and not religious, how doesthis allow me the freedom to find a Higher Power of my understanding?
  17. How does the decision I made in Step Three help me as I workthis step?
  18. In what ways am I accepting my Higher Power's will?
  19. How has acceptance of my Higher Power's guidance helped memake better decisions?
  20. In what ways has my relationship with my Higher Powerimproved?
  21. How has this improved relationship given me the courage to acton my Higher Power's will?
  22. Can I share an occasion when I felt guided by my Higher Power?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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In this episode, 61 questions are discussed. Due to space restrictions, only the first 30 questions are listed below. The full list of questions can be found on my blog at https://wordpress.com/post/childsaddiction.wordpress.com/521 at the bottom of the post for Step 10.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

  1. Which behaviors are not appearing as often?

  2. How can I remind myself to take a spot-check inventory every day?

  3. Which behaviors are not appearing as often?

  4. How am I doing? Is my spot-check inventory helping me in my daily life as I interact with others?

  5. How was I good to myself today?

  6. What do I have to be grateful for?

  7. What boundaries did I set today with no expectations?

  8. What problem areas have I noticed in my life?

  9. How did I handle conflicts today?

  10. How does this daily reflection help me be more aware of my behaviors?

  11. How often am I setting aside time to do a long-term periodic inventory?

  12. What new behaviors am I discovering?

  13. What issues in my life could benefit from a long-term inventory?

  14. How am I using what I learned in Steps Four through Nine to help with my inventory?

  15. Do I continue to justify past behaviors instead of admitting my wrongs? If so, explain why.

  16. What am I keeping to myself that I should discuss with my sponsor?

  17. How am I maintaining personal integrity in my relationships with others?

  18. What apologies or amends do I need to make today?

  19. If I see old patterns emerging, what can I do to get back on track?

  20. How did attending a Nar-Anon meeting or talking to a trusted Nar-Anon friend help me find freedom and serenity?

  21. How has being of service helped me focus on my own recovery?

  22. How did I use the principles of the program today?

  23. How do I practice tolerance and compassion for others?

  24. How can I forgive those who hurt me so I don't carry resentments?

  25. Why is it important to focus on my own inventory instead of someone else's?

  26. How do I take responsibility for my actions?

  27. Does fear prevent me from accepting change? How willing am I to change?

  28. How does admitting my fears allow me to face them honestly?

  29. How am I relying on my Higher Power for courage?

  30. How can I overcome feeling threatened by others?

Questions 31 - 61 can be found at https://wordpress.com/post/childsaddiction.wordpress.com/521.

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Step 9 of the Nar-Anon Program: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. In this episode, these 19 questions are discussed:

1. List ways making amends can help me let go of guilt or blame to aid my recovery.

2. What resentments and grudges still interfere with my willingness to make amends?

3. What is the difference between apologizing and making amends?

4. To which people on my list do I need to make direct amends?

5. How can I plan what I am going to say in order to be concise and avoid blame?

6. Have I considered practicing or role playing a direct amends scenario with my sponsor or another trusted Nar-Anon member?

7. What does it mean "to be carrying baggage"? How might this concept relate to making amends?

8. If my amends are rejected, am I willing to accept the result?

9. Am I concerned about how I will be treated when I make amends?

10. Are there people on my list to whom I need to make indirect amends? If so, who?

11. What can I do to offer a kindness to another that would fill the needs of my indirect amends?

12. How can writing my indirect amends help me to heal?

13. What behaviors have I changed by making amends to myself?

14. How have I harmed myself by holding onto resentments?

15. What financial goal can I set and what is my plan to achieve that goal?

16. What is my favorite way to treat myself?

17. How has making time for spirituality enhanced my recovery?

18. What situations may require I wait for a better time?

19. Sometimes partial restitution is all that is needed. Is there a way I can make a partial amends?

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Step 8 of the Nar-Anon Program: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. In this episode, these 25 questions are discussed:

1. How reluctant am I to make this list? Explain.

2. Am I willing to be completely honest?

3. What role does the God of my understanding have in this step?

4. How can a sponsor or another Nar-Anon member help me work this step?

5. In what ways have I harmed myself?

6. Why is it important to forgive myself?

7. How did I ignore the needs of my children in my obsession with the addict?

8. How was I angry or impatient with relatives or friends who tried to give me advice?

9. Did I isolate myself in an attempt to hide problems associated with addiction?

10. How have those relationships that meant the most to me been affected by my behaviors?

11. How have I mistreated others because of my state of mind?

12. Did I avoid anyone (family or friends)? If so, when and why?

13. Did I lie or engage in some form of inappropriate conduct in an attempt to protect my secrets or to cover for the addict?

14. How have I neglected myself, family, friends, community, or my Higher Power?

15. Have I entered agreements then refused to abide by the terms?

16. Have I misused funds or resources (borrowing or extravagant spending), especially if trying to buy love or friendship?

17. Did I neglect my health, education, career and/or productivity?

18. Is there someone I am unwilling to include on my list? Why?

19. Are resentments and grudges still interfering with my willingness to make amends?

20. How does my pride prevent me from becoming willing?

21. In what ways do I harm myself by remaining unwilling?

22. What do I think I am giving up when I become willing?

23. How do I become willing to make amends without expecting anything in return?

24. How can I trust my Higher Power to lead me in this process?

25. What are my feelings as I become willing? Explain each.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 7 of the Nar-Anon Program: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. In this episode, these 17 questions are discussed:

  1. What does being humble mean to me?

  2. How can I practice being humble?

  3. What behaviors keep me from being humble?

  4. How does being humble change my habits and behaviors?

  5. List negative traits that can be used in a positive way?

  6. What positive changes do I see in myself by being humble?

  7. Why is it important to be humble when I ask for help?

  8. What areas of control do I find the hardest to release?

  9. How does my ego get in the way of releasing shortcomings?

  10. What shortcomings am I willing to release to my Higher Power?

  11. Explain the difference between having shortcomings and feeling inadequate.

  12. How does justifying my shortcomings keep me from being humble?

  13. Am I willing to be patient and let God work?

  14. What differences do I now see in my self-esteem?

  15. What changes do I see in my relationships since I have joined Nar-Anon?

  16. Am I taking the time to process what I am learning and letting my Higher Power guide me?

  17. Now that I have completed Step Seven, what have I learned about myself?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 6 of the Nar-Anon Program: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. In this episode, these 24 questions are discussed:

  1. What are my thoughts, feelings, and fears as I begin to work on Step Six?
  2. Explain how I have changed an old habit to a new habit.
  3. How does my relationship with a Higher Power help with Step Six?
  4. Make a list of areas I am not ready to turn over to my Higher Power.
  5. Make a list of areas I might consider turning over.
  6. Make a list of habits I am ready to have God remove.
  7. What defects do I still find useful?
  8. How can I trust that my Higher Power will guide me as I continue to work this Step?
  9. How can I be sure I am now ready to let my Higher Power remove my character defects?
  10. Think about the phrase "entirely ready." What does that mean to me?
  11. What are my thoughts or feelings on being willing?
  12. What does surrender or giving up mean to me?
  13. What are my fears of letting go?
  14. What, if anything, is keeping me from being entirely ready?
  15. How does my understanding of the word "defect" help me be ready to have them removed?
  16. What unhealthy character defects have I identified?
  17. Having recognized these defects of character, how will I begin to work with my Higher Power in removing them?
  18. What do I hope is the end result of removing these defects?
  19. How am I willing to change my life to live in a more positive manner?
  20. How am I relying on my willpower to change instead of trusting my Higher Power for help?
  21. Which behaviors or defects do I make excuses for or try to justify?
  22. What doubts interfere with my readiness to have God remove my shortcomings?
  23. Do I believe there is a confident person within me that is ready to emerge?
  24. List things I would like to change about myself.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 5 of the Nar-Anon Program: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In this episode, these 23 questions are discussed:

  1. Who are my hopes and fears about working step five?
  2. How will I know I am ready to share my inventory with someone else?
  3. What are my past experiences with trust?
  4. How can I trust my Higher Power to guide me in this process?
  5. How do I know I am ready to be honest, open, and willing?
  6. What are the benefits of being honest, open, and willing?
  7. What thoughts come to mind when I think of the words truthful, genuine, and real, in relation to myself?
  8. What fears do I have as I prepare to admit the exact nature of my wrongs?
  9. What is my current concept of a Higher Power?
  10. Do I believe my Higher Power will still accept me after admitting the exact nature of my wrongs?
  11. Do I believe I need forgiveness from my Higher Power? Why or why not?
  12. If so, can I accept forgiveness? Explain.
  13. What are the benefits of sharing with my Higher Power?
  14. What have I done to accept, without judgment, the things I am admitting?
  15. What new discoveries have I made about myself?
  16. What did I like or dislike about what I discovered?
  17. Looking at the defects of character from my fourth step inventory, what is the exact nature of my wrongs?
  18. How does choosing to be honest with myself give me a sense of freedom?
  19. What qualities will I look for in the person with whom I share?
  20. What character traits embarrass me when I think of sharing them with someone else?
  21. How might sharing with another person increase the awareness of my positive qualities?
  22. How might sharing with another person help me avoid falling back into old behaviors?
  23. Can I share with another person without expecting approval? Why or why not?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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This is from January 2019 when my son was involuntarily committed. 

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These inventory questions are taken from the 1976 edition of Blueprint for Progress - Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory. 

In the final part of the Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory, character traits are discussed.

Visit https://childsaddiction.wordpress.com/ for a complete list of inventory questions.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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These inventory questions are taken from the 1976 edition of Blueprint for Progress - Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory. 

In the second part of the Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory, self-worth, love, and maturity are discussed. 

Visit https://childsaddiction.wordpress.com/ for a complete list of inventory questions.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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These inventory questions are taken from the 1976 edition of Blueprint for Progress - Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory. 

In the first part of the Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory, attitudes and responsibilities are discussed. 

Visit https://childsaddiction.wordpress.com/ for a complete list of inventory questions.
Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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I am going through piles and piles of Joseph's medical and legal records trying to organize it. This is from December 2018 when he was involuntarily committed.

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This is something Joseph wrote back in 2018 about the time he returned a pair of new shoes his grandma had bought him for work, so he could buy drugs. 

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Step 4 of the Nar-Anon Program:  Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.  In the final part of Step 4, questions 32 - 46 are discussed:  

  1. When do I get angry and why?
  2. When have I acted out in anger and then been ashamed of my behavior?
  3. What are the consequences of my anger?
  4. How has my anger affected me in a positive way? A negative way?
  5. What steps can I take to control my anger?
  6. What are the negative effects of worrying?
  7. How am I using the program to stop, think, and react differently?
  8. What other things can I do to stop myself from worrying?
  9. Do I allow my self-esteem to be affected by the addict's behavior? If so, how?
  10. When I put my trust in others and they fail me, how does that affect my self-esteem?
  11. How do I currently feel about my self-esteem?
  12. How do I react to compliments? Do I graciously accept them or do I try to reason them away?
  13. How do I acknowledge myself for a job well done?
  14. How has working the first three steps helped with my self-esteem?
  15. What can I do to build my self-esteem?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 4 of the Nar-Anon Program: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. In the second part of Step 4, questions 14 - 31 are discussed:

  1. Do I trust my own judgment? Why or why not?
  2. Under what circumstances have I used my lack of trust as a weapon against others?
  3. Who do I trust today and why?
  4. What issues do I still not entrust to my Higher Power?
  5. Why have I allowed someone to take advantage of me? What can I do differently?
  6. What are some of my fears or anxieties?
  7. How do I know if my fears are rational or irrational?
  8. What do I believe causes my fears?
  9. How can my Higher Power help with my fears?
  10. What resentments am I holding onto from my past?
  11. What do I gain from holding onto these resentments?
  12. How are these resentments still affecting my life today?
  13. Why do I resent it when others do not behave or act the way I think they should?
  14. How do my resentments affect my relationships?
  15. What do I fear will happen if I let go of my imaginary power?
  16. Do I feel powerless and frightened of failure if I let go? If so, why?
  17. How has my controlling affected the well-being of others? Myself?
  18. What can I do to let go of feeling the need to control?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 4 of the Nar-Anon Program:  Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. In the first part of Step 4, questions 1 - 13 are discussed:  

  1. What do I believe is the purpose of taking and writing my inventory?
  2. Which feelings am I willing to explore?
    3.  How can I change my life to have a more positive outlook?
  3. How will honesty about my feelings benefit me?
  4. What is working and not working in my life?
  5. Am I afraid to take an honest look at myself? What are my fears?
  6. How does having a Higher Power help me with my fears?
  7. How can I overcome any fears of changing the things I can?
  8. What are my positive and negative traits?
  9. What attributes and principles do I value in myself?
  10. How have they defined me as a person?
  11. What stands in the way of my well-being?
  12. Describe the person I want to be.

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 3 of the Nar-Anon Program: We Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. In the final part of Step 3, questions 16 - 36 are discussed:

  1. What does faith mean to me?
  2. What does having faith in a Higher Power mean to me? How do I obtain this faith?
  3. What are advantages of having faith and a belief in a Higher Power?
  4. How did I feel about God or a Higher Power in the past?
  5. What is my present relationship with a Higher Power?
  6. What is the difference between a Higher Power's will and self-will? Which way am I living my life today?
  7. What have I done to interfere with a Higher Power's involvement in my life?
  8. What steps can I take to know and understand my Higher Power's will for me?
  9. When a loved one makes decisions I do not like, in what ways have I tried to take my will back?
  10. What, if any, are my fears that my Higher Power's will for me may not be what I want?
  11. In what situations have I been successful or unsuccessful in trusting the outcome?
  12. Are there parts of my life or problems I am unwilling to turn over to a Higher Power? Explain.
  13. What attitudes, beliefs or fears stand in my way or interfere with my trust in a Higher Power?
  14. How can practicing surrender and trust in all my affairs contribute to a better way to live my life?
  15. How do the words in the Serenity Prayer help me in my recovery?
  16. How have I used the Serenity Prayer in my personal life?
  17. Am I aware help is available and I do not need to continue carrying my problems by myself?
  18. Am I learning what recovery and serenity can mean to me? Explain.
  19. What tools can I use to help in my recovery?
  20. What positive actions can I take to reinforce decisions I make?
  21. In what ways am I stronger and happier than when I first walked into the rooms of Nar-Anon?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 3 of the Nar-Anon Program: We Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. In the first part of Step 3, questions 1 - 15 are discussed:

  1. What does it mean to make a decision?
  2. Am I fearful of the outcome of decisions I make? What are my fears?
  3. Have I had trouble making decisions in the past? Explain?
  4. Do I think it is my responsibility to make decisions and choices for others? Why?
  5. What decisions have I made for the addict in the past and what were the results?
  6. What does turning my will and my life over to a Higher Power mean to me?
  7. Do I believe that turning my life over to a Higher Power means giving up - or does it give me an opportunity to find guidance for a better life?
  8. How easy or difficult is it to turn my will over to a Higher Power?
  9. Can I trust a Higher Power will take care of me?
  10. What areas of my life am I now willing to turn over to a Higher Power?
  11. Do I trust a Higher Power can help the addict or do I still think I can save him/her?
  12. What fears are keeping me from letting go?
  13. Why do I want to take it back?
  14. How have I been successful or unsuccessful in letting go?
  15. What am I learning about the difference between giving up and letting go?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 2 of the Nar-Anon Program: We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. In the final part of Step 2, questions 9 - 25 are discussed:

  1. Do I realize I have freedom to choose a Higher Power based on my own understanding? Am I free to have more than one definition of a Higher Power?
  2. What are my beliefs about a Higher Power?
  3. What draws me toward a Higher Power?
  4. Have I tried letting go and letting a Higher Power into my life? How?
  5. When do I seek a Higher Power?
  6. Am I ready to accept guidance from my Higher Power? Explain.
  7. How can coming to believe in a Higher Power help me change my thoughts, feelings, and actions?
  8. Do I believe a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity? If not, what is stopping me?
  9. What does sanity mean to me?
  10. How has my past behavior created problems in my relationships and my life?
  11. What have I learned from repeating the same patterns of behavior, and each time expecting a different outcome?
  12. In what ways do I see my Higher Power restoring me to sanity?
  13. What past behaviors am I beginning to change?
  14. How do my actions, at times, differ from what I truly feel?
  15. Recovery requires patience and understanding. Do I expect immediate results?
  16. If I allow myself the time I need to accept what this step means to me, how do I believe this will help my recovery?
  17. Why does the second step say ‘could restore us to sanity’ instead of ‘would’ restore us to sanity?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 2 of the Nar-Anon Program:  We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. In the first part of Step 2, questions 1 - 8 are discussed:  

1.      Think about the word “believe”. What does it mean to me? 
2.      In what do I believe? 
3.      What fears, if any, block me from believing in or accepting a Higher Power? 
4.      How have past experiences affected my willingness to believe in a Higher Power? 
5.      How does believing in a Higher Power affect my spirituality? 
6.      How has my belief in a Higher Power changed since I started the Nar-Anon program? 
7.      How do I now understand hope, belief, and faith? 
8.      How can hope and faith in a Higher Power change my life? 

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 1 of the Nar-Anon Program: We admitted we were powerless over the addict - that our lives had become unmanageable. In the final part of step 1, questions 41 - 61 are discussed:

  1. How can practicing acceptance in all my affairs contribute to a better way to life my life? 42. How can I allow my loved ones to find their own life paths as I am finding mine?
  2. If nothing changes, nothing changes. What does this statement mean to me?
  3. In what ways am I beginning to see that expecting perfection in myself or others is unrealistic?
  4. Am I ready to stop punishing myself for past failures and start now with a new beginning? Explain.
  5. Am I able to accept myself for whom I am?
  6. What can I do to accept myself for who I am?
  7. How did I feel when I heard addiction is a disease?
  8. Am I able to accept that addiction is a disease? If not, why not?
  9. As a person who loves an addict, what do I need to understand about addiction?
  10. If I am able to accept that addiction is a disease, how will this change the way I feel and react to the addict in my life?
  11. How has accepting this fact changed my perspective of addiction?
  12. What is the difference between detaching with love and attaching with love?
  13. Does detaching mean I just don’t care anymore?
  14. Is my emotional well-being in any way dependent on the behavior of another?
  15. What is causing me to feel stuck or trapped and unable to detach?
  16. Detaching also means letting go of fear, of the need to control, of trying to do too much, or of holding on too tightly. In what way does detachment from the addict’s problems give me freedom?
  17. Are there activities I find interesting that would help me to detach? What are they?
  18. Am I ready to set boundaries?
  19. Am I learning to set my boundaries for the right reasons, not to manipulate the addict into recovery, but to restore myself to sanity?
  20. Can I be flexible if it becomes appropriate to change a boundary?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 1 of the Nar-Anon Program: We admitted we were powerless over the addict - that our lives had become unmanageable. In this episode, questions 18 - 40 are discussed:

  1. Are most of my waking thoughts consumed with worries about the addict?
  2. Have I let go of things there were important to me, like hobbies and friends?
  3. Have I lied or covered up because of the addict? Explain.
  4. Do I have trouble sleeping at night?
  5. Am I having financial problems?
  6. Am I having health problems?
  7. When was the last time I did something fun?
  8. How has the addiction of a family member or friend changed my life?
  9. Do I think the following emotions or behaviors indicate an unmanageable life? Anger, fear, guilt, obsession, anxiety, pride, jealousy, control, frustration, denial, sadness, distress, dishonesty, manipulation, resentment, hate, negativity, low self-esteem, shame.
  10. Which of these emotions or behaviors stand out for me? Why?
  11. Am I able to accept that my life might be unmanageable?
  12. How has denial played a part in my life with regard to my life being unmanageable?
  13. Do I feel responsible for the addiction of my loved one and/or do I blame others?
  14. What am I currently doing to help or enable the addict because of these feelings?
  15. Do I feel responsible for other people’s actions?
  16. Do I have a strong need to be in control? In my own life? In others’ lives?
  17. What do I fear will happen if I let go?
  18. Do I allow other people or circumstances to control my life?
  19. How does this keep me from taking care of myself?
  20. Have I accepted as fact there are situations in my life over which I have no control? Explain.
  21. Do I understand addiction is a disease that cannot be cured?
  22. Do I try to work the addict’s program instead of my own?
  23. In what ways do I feel pity and/or compassion for the addict?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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Step 1 of the Nar-Anon Program: We admitted we were powerless over the addict - that our lives had become unmanageable. This episode covers the beginning of step 1, and the first 17 questions are discussed:

  1. Do I have trouble letting others know I am hurting?
  2. How can I find strength and support from others who have been where I am now?
  3. What am I learning as I listen to others?
  4. Am I beginning to open my mind to the possibility of a new way of life?
  5. Can I see I have no control over the addict’s drug use?
  6. How have I tried to control the addict?
  7. How do I try to control others? Do I try to help people when in reality I am trying to control them?8. How is my need for power or control related to enabling?
  8. Did I initially come to Nar-Anon to find out how to get the addict to stop using?
  9. What actions have I taken to try to help the addict?
  10. How have steps I have taken to protect the addict from the consequences of his actions worked for either of us?
  11. How am I still making excuses for the addict? Is “yes, but” a part of my explanation?
  12. Do I still think there is something I can say or do to get the addict to stop using drugs?
  13. Can I admit I am powerless over the addict?
  14. What was I powerless over this week? How did it make me feel?
  15. What have I done in the past to fix something because I was worried or scared? What can I do differently next time?
  16. What things in my life do I think I have control over?

Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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In this short introduction, you will learn a little about me and why I am doing this recovery program. You are invited to join this 12-step journey with me. 
Visit https://www.nar-anon.org/ for helpful resources or to find a meeting.

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