Make it Count: Recent Episodes
Taylor Bros
Ever feel like you're drifting way off course? Discovering that you're nowhere near where you wanted to be? We (David and Matt) have experienced that ourselves. We're having conversations on Making It Count. Whether it's the small daily things, or figuring out how to live a meaningful life. Koin us for these lively, fun and deep conversations as we journey towards Making It Count. Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
3 years ago to the day the Make It Count Podcast was birthed, and 156 episodes later it is time for a break.
Thanks for being with us these past few years and contributing to the many and varied conversations we've enjoyed. We're looking forward to many more fascinating conversations in the future, but for now they'll be in person, and likely round a table.
It's been a blast, thanks for tuning in. Whatever it is you're doing, don't forget to make it count.
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As an epilogue to the August series "Being Real in an Artificial World" we're discussing a counter point David read about, someone was arguing that our online self is our most authentic self because it reveals our ideal self.
Jump on into this conversation and let us know what you think!
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Welcome to the final episode of our Summer Series: Being Real in an Artificial World.
This week we focus on the irreplaceable value of face-to-face interactions and the emotional benefits of maintaining strong personal relationships in an increasingly digital world.
Some further reading:
The Human Touch: Why social media can’t replace real human connection
The Human Touch in a Digital World: Balancing Technology with Personal Connection
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Welcome to our Summer Series: Being Real in an Artificial World.
This week we delve into the impact of social media and digital communication on friendships and touch on how to foster genuine connections in a world of superficial interactions.
Technology can be both a bridge and a barrier to real interactions, how can we best use the tools at hand to facilitate healthy and meaningful connections?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Research showing impact of loneliness on DNA:
Cacioppo's findings also show that prolonged loneliness can be as harmful to your health as smoking or obesity… for our primitive ancestors, survival depended not on greater brawn but on greater commitments to and from one another. Serving as a prompt to repair frayed social bonds, the pain of loneliness engendered a fear response so powerfully disruptive that even now, millions of years later, a persistent sense of rejection or isolation can impair DNA transcription in our immune cells.
Bridges and barriers
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Welcome to the Make it Count Podcast, our August Summer Series: Being Real in an Artificial World.
This week we're continuing with the 2nd episode in the series and we're aiming our sights at authenticity in a world filled with filters: Can We Be Authentic If We’re Always Putting Our Best Side Forward?
Here's a couple articles you might find interesting:
Can anyone be honest online?
In technology we trust, or do we?
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Welcome to the Make it Count Podcast, for our August Summer Series: Being Real in an Artificial World.
This week we're kicking off with the 1st of 4 episodes in the series and we're looking at Discernment in a DeepFake World - Can we even trust our own eyes now?
Remember when people used to say “I’ll believe it when I see it”? That kinda seems like a quaint notion now.
Here's a couple articles you might find interesting:
Can anyone be honest online?
In technology we trust, or do we?
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This week we're going off script (not that we ever actually have a script), and looking at the theme of story once again, but from the perspective of Worldview. It's not a question of whether or not we have a Worldview (or story we believe about the world), but rather, what it is, and where it comes from. Have we thought carefully and with intention about what we believe about the world?
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We're back with another book review, this week: A Non-Anxious Presence by Mark Sayers.
Find out more about the book here.
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This week we're going to classroom of Mr Taylor, to hear what he's learned about learning on his journey to becoming a qualified maths teacher. (For those who have maths anxiety, don't worry, maths doesn't really feature much in this episode!)
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Following on from our episode last week about the benefits of reading fiction, David felt it important that we give a balanced view, and so this episode was born!
Welcome to episode 148 where we delve into the value of reading non-fiction, and you may not be surprised that we do end up talking about habits.
Listen in as we talk about some of the books that have impacted our lives and we also discuss how you can become an expert* on any topic.
Again, if you want to catch up on our book reviews check them out on Spotify or YouTube.
*used in a broad sense of the word
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It is no secret that we love reading here at the Make It Count Podcast, you may have seen our book reviews (Check them out on Spotify or YouTube) for example. But we tend to stick to Non-fiction books and some of you may be wondering what our thoughts on fiction are. In fact, Matt was wondering what his thoughts were too, and so did some research. By reading about reading of course!
Listen along to hear what we definitively say about fiction, once and for all!*
Also here's a couple quotes that didn't make it into the episode but Matt liked:
“Do not read non-fiction prior to bed, which encourages projection into the future and preoccupation/planning. Read fiction that engages the imagination and demands present-state attention.” - Tim Ferriss
“The quality of our reading” stands as “an index to the quality of our thought.” - Maryanne Wolf, cognitive scientist and author of Reader, Come Home.
Articles we read in the forging of this episode:
Does reading fiction make us better people?
The Case for Reading Fiction
Reading fiction: the benefits are numerous
*Opinions subject to future updates
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This week we're back with a book review! David's been reading a short book by Katharine Hill and he can't remember much about it, or he forgot what he was supposed to remember, or he remembered not to forget everything...? Oh forget it!
Here's what the book is supposedly about:
Married life is full of trials and blessings, no matter what season of marriage you are in. One day you're saying your wedding vows, enjoying the honeymoon, making a home together ... and the next you're working through domestic challenges, paying the mortgage and struggling to remember the anniversary. Sometimes just a little wisdom and encouragement is needed to help along the way. Help is here! Katharine Hill offers her wisdom and guidance in stories and bite-sized chapters to help navigate the different seasons of marriage. In the busyness of life, this encouraging book is great for those who want to focus on what matters the most, to have the very best for their marriage.
P.S. As per usual here's a little disclaimer: We have no affiliation, we just read a book and thought it was worth reviewing.
Watch the latest episode here on YouTube.
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We’ve all heard phrases like “Time is money” and “Life is too short for…” but how do you actually value your time? On the one hand we know that time is something we cannot buy back once it has passed, but on the other hand the passing of time feels slow. One moment feels very much like the next, one day seems no different from the previous. We can easily be lulled into the sense that there’s always going to be more and it’s going to be very much the same.
Join us this week as we wrestle with the idea of how to value our time, and perhaps it involves viewing that time as discrete, not continuous…
Here's the poem/quote David reads out in the episode:
If you want to know the value of one year, just ask a student who failed a course.
If you want to know the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
If you want to know the value of one hour, ask the lovers waiting to meet.
If you want to know the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed the bus.
If you want to know the value of one second, ask the person who just escaped death in a car accident.
And if you want to know the value of one-hundredth of a second, ask the athlete who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
― Marc Levy, Et si c'était vrai..., Vous revoir, édition complète 2 en 1
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When you are going on a journey and you have a destination you're aiming for it's important to first know where you are. Likewise, life is a journey and we're all going somewhere. We are strong believers in the value of, well... values! They have an large impact on the decisions we make and the way we live our lives, so it is important to be aware of what they are.
This week we're discussing three things that can reveal to you what values you're currently living by, your:
- bank statement
- calendar
- day dreams
Check out the YouTube channel, we have faces as well as voices!
http://www.youtube.com/@MakeItCount-Podcast
Watch the latest episode here on YouTube.
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We’re all about living with purpose and intentionality wherever you are and in every area of life. “Join us as we move from the daily drift to positive purpose.” is our common invitation, which often means facing up to the reality of our situation and not avoiding the challenges.
So we can often come across as being pretty down on escaping our lives into media and entertainment, which is why Matt decided we had to have a conversation about a rather intriguing quote from the famed author of The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings:
“I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which 'Escape' is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
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We’re constantly bombarded with messages from marketers and influencers about instantaneous and meteoric growth, endless shortcuts to success, and various life hacks. Yet, the reality is that growth often isn’t constantly “up and to the right”, long term change often isn’t exponential.
Last year David was given a flower… an orchid, to be specific, and in his process of becoming an expert gardener he has observed a life principle based on the lessons he’s learned in in helping flowers flourish.
Quotes shared in this episode:
“The fruit falls off the tree. You don't shake it off before it's ready to fall.” - Al Pacino
“You can’t have the fruits without the roots” Stephen R. Covey
P.S. We joked that this episode was sponsored by "Orchids R' Us, well it turns out that is a real company in Australia! 😂 So for those interested check them out here!
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This week we're continuing the theme of "Too busy to..."
Now whilst many people don't have a choice over when they can take a break, even those of us who do have that agency can easily fall into thinking we've just got too much to do to take a break.
It turns out that thinking is flawed, and taking a break (or several) can help us to get more done, be more creative and feel better whilst we're doing it!
Here's the article mentioned in this episode: Why You Need To Stop Thinking You Are Too Busy To Take Breaks
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"Many of us are just too busy to live emotionally healthy and spiritually rich and vibrant lives." - John Mark Comer
If you're anything like us, this resonates as true. It can be as simple as spending more time doom scrolling on our phones when you've had a busy and tiring day, or as complex a trying to juggle the ever pervading demands of work, multiple schedules and attempting to keep our social lives, well... alive!
It seems like we have setup an impossible game where in order to succeed in one field you will inevitably fail at several others. Have we just got too many plates spinning?
Perhaps the solution is addition by subtraction...
Books mentioned in this episode:
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry - John Mark Comer
Ordering You Private World - Gordon MacDonald
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality - Peter Scazzero
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Questions are powerful, often they can be the first step on a journey of discovery, whether that's scientific, or philosophical, or a simple invitation to get to know someone over lunch. But not all questions are created equal, some questions may actually hinder us from the very start. This week we're discussing an idea from Julie Gurner ( an executive performance coach) on the importance of asking better questions:
"The questions you ask yourself will largely determine the answers you get.
"Why am I not successful?" You'll get answers that berate you.
"How can I succeed here?" You'll get answers that push you. "
For more on questions check out episode 036 where we reviewed Tom Hughes' book Curious - The Unexpected Power of a Question-Led Life
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We live in what some have called “an age of anger” or “rage culture” and this seems to be spurred on by a myriad of factors, from always being connected to algorithms which favour inciting content to get more engagement. This week we’re discussing some of the consequences of speaking in haste when we’re angry and some modern advice which is a new spin on some ancient wisdom from James* “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”
‘Tom Murphy’s advice to Warren Buffett "Warren, you can always tell someone to go to hell tomorrow."
In other words, you haven't missed the opportunity. Just forget about it for a day. If you feel the same way tomorrow, tell them then—but don't spout off in a moment of anger.’
Source: Getting There: A Book of Mentors
- the brother of Jesus in case you were wondering which James, this
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"There's too much to do and not enough time to do it!" This resonates for many of us and it seems to be just a reality of life.
This week we're asking:
- What can we do about to overcome the feeling of perpetual overwhelm?
- Is it just about better time management skills and habits?
- How could better management of our energy help?
This week's episode was inspired by the following quote:
"I have learned that whenever I think "I don't have enough time to do that" what I usually mean is "I don't have enough energy" or "I am not actually interested in doing this."
What I need to do a better job of is not managing my time, but rather caring for myself and identifying my true interests. When I am well rested and working on something I am genuinely excited about, finding time is rarely a problem."
- James Clear
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We've likely all been there, you’re stuck in a meeting you didn’t want to be in, it’s been going far too long with no end in sight and you’re asking yourself “What is the point of this meeting? Why am I even here?” (and perhaps letting your mind wander to planning the rest of your day..).
This week we’re taking a look at Michael Hyatt’s book: No Fail meetings - 5 Steps to Orchestrate Productive Meetings (and Avoid all the Rest)
[Matt especially appreciates that last part!]
One of the issues Hyatt says, is that meetings feel like work and look like work, but often nothing productive actually happens. So he’s here to help with 5 steps to save us from the tyranny of “the rest”:
- Decide if the meeting even needs to happen
- Right people, right time, right location for the right duration
- Prepare a results driven agenda
- Meet and engage in a conversation that moves the needle
- Follow up by reviewing notes and completing assigned tasks and holding each other accountable
Ultimately it comes down to knowing the purpose (what is the desired result?), doing preparation up front, having clear tasks and actually following up.
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Has beauty always been in the eye of the beholder? And what is beauty anyway?
Along with pondering the merits of such heady philosophical questions this week we're also discussing the fact that in our current cultural climate there seems an ever increasing pressure to be beautiful. How can we cope with such a pressure when all we see is our own imperfections?
This episode was inspired by some powerful stats from some global Dove research (Note: the details about the research conducted are a little light, all we could find out is that it was a survey of 6,400 women between 18 and 64 years, so all we can comment on are the headline figures).
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Some problems are really difficult, maybe even impossible to solve. This week looking at how a simple shift in perspective can help us.
Perhaps we could adapt the phrase "Go big or go home" to "Go big or go small..."
This week's episode was inspired by this from James Clear:
"If you're stuck on a problem, try solving it at a different level. Problems that seem impossible at one level are often quite accessible from a different one."
If you ask, "What can we do to create a more unified country?" then you end up with vague answers that are difficult to implement. The problem is mostly unmanageable at that level.
But if you ask, "What can I do to create a more unified neighbourhood?" then you can likely think of many small things you can do to connect your friends and neighbours.
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Surprise, surprise! Once again we're back with a book review! How original...
This week's book is the rather intriguing "The Unoriginal Guide To Originality: How to be Authentic in an over influenced world " by Zach Ramelan.
Tune in as we discuss:
- Is it possible to be truly original? Or are we all just idea thieves?
- The importance of intentionally choosing your influences
- Why does society think it's okay to steal from the dead but not from the living?
You might be surprised at where we end up (or not, since "there is nothing new under the sun." as the ancient saying goes).
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Following on from our discussion from last week we're continuing to look at mental health. The World Health Organization reports that approximately 5% of adults worldwide suffer from depression, 1 in 20 people!
Depression is complex and it doesn't have a simple cause. Today we're discussing some research from the University of Cambridge that looks at the relative influence of our DNA compared to various lifestyle elements on the likelihood of developing depression.
Analysing information from nearly 290,000 individuals, including 13,000 with depression, tracked over nine years, the study pinpointed seven healthy lifestyle practices associated with reduced depression risk:
- Quality sleep
- A balanced diet
- Regular physical activity
- Frequent social interaction
- Limited sedentary behaviour
- Moderate alcohol consumption
- Not smoking
P.S. David spent most of the episode talking about sleep because he thinks that's the most important one. Matt thinks it's because he really wanted a nap...
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Anxiety and depression are something we don’t shy away from talking about anymore, and whilst it is a good thing to move past the shame and stigma there’s growing evidence that some of the widespread solutions to tackle the mental health crisis are backfiring and making things worse.
This week we’re looking at a thought provoking article in the NY Times by By Darby Saxbe, of the University of Southern California. (Link)
We discuss:
- Some school programs have been shown to actually make mental health problems worse for students
- How focusing attention on these issues can unintentionally exacerbate them
- The issue of identifying with the label
(Instead of “I am nervous about X,” a teenager might say, “I can’t do X because I have anxiety”) - How social media has a big influence (surprised?)
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Why is it that in a digitally connected world we feel so emotionally alone?
This week we're looking loneliness, it has been called a public health concern and is ironically a fairly universal experience. So, what can we learn, and what can we do?
In this episode we ask:
- What's the difference between objectively being alone and the subjective experience of loneliness?
- Do we just need to spend more time with others?
- What's the deal with social media?
And finally we suggest a couple ideas that might help.
This episode was inspired by a couple of scientific studies:
Loneliness and time alone in everyday life: A descriptive-exploratory study of subjective and objective social isolation.
Quality not quantity: loneliness subtypes, psychological trauma, and mental health in the US adult population
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We're back with another book review! This time we're unpacking Bruce Feiler's excellent "Life Is In The Transitions - Mastering Change at Any Age."
We no longer live linear lives and sometimes things come along which disrupt our life and make us question the story we thought we were living.
Check out our conversation as we discuss what Bruce learned after he experienced a life-quake that made him say "I've lost my life story."
It turns out that there's no such thing as a mid-life crisis (Nice!), but that we're all in store for a number of life disruptions and life quakes, that can take years to fully process (Ouch!).
Make sure you stick around to hear about the A, B, Cs of how to find meaning through these life disruptions and transitions.
Finally, if you're interested in finding out more about the book check out the author's website here, (and no, we're not sponsored in anyway, we just think it's a really good book).
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Should we all go back to working from the office? Is it better to work from home? What about hybrid? Are these even the right questions?
The pursuit of work life balance is fatally flawed according to the results of a survey of over 5000 people. ( Check out the article that inspired this episode: here)
We know that wellbeing is holistic. No-one talks about health - life balance, or community - life balance. Your occupational wellbeing is a part of your overall wellbeing, it shouldn’t be treated as separate.
The report says that it is better to give autonomy. It is about the power of choice, over 90% of the respondents said that they would prefer better wellbeing than higher pay.
Perhaps rather than mandates from the top a better way forward might be collaborating together to seek a win-win, a third alternative.
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This week we're discussing the intriguing idea of what tomorrow owes you based on your yesterdays. Thanks to a quote we both independently highlighted from one of our favourite fiction authors.
“Tomorrow owes you the sum of your yesterdays. No more than that… And no less. Sometimes folk wish tomorrow did not pay them off so completely.”
- Robin Hobb, The Mad Ship
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They say there’s three things you don’t talk about at a dinner party: Religion, politics and death. Well we recommend that you best not play this episode at a dinner party then!
Many of us live in what some have called a "first half of life" culture, we celebrate the young and beautiful. Yet despite our attempts to ignore it and pretend we're going to live forever death is an unavoidable reality.
Many through the ages have actually found it powerful and meaningful to actively be reminded of the brevity of life and reflect on how soon we too will be passing on. This week we're asking whether they are onto something and what reflecting on death can teach us about life.
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The world is noisier and busier than ever, and this week we’re having a conversation about Ryan Holiday’s helpful book where he argues for stillness in three key areas:
- Stillness of the mind,
- Stillness of the soul, and
- Stillness of the body.
So grab a cup of tea (or coffee), get yourself comfortable and enjoy listening as we play with this radical idea of stillness in a restless world.
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We believe in both the power and the joy of reading. Yet apparently the average person reads only 4 books a year*.
Join us this week as we discuss why many of us find it difficult to read more even though we know it is good for us. If you find yourself thinking “I wish I could read more books” then we’ve got a treat for you, inspired by an article giving 7 ways to read more books this year.
Read the Inc.com article here.
Watch a 5 min BBC video here.
if you have the contact details for the average person* we’d love to interview them since they are quoted in so many important statistics!
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Mindset matters, it can set the tone of our days and the energy that we bring to life. It is all too easy to settle into negative patterns of thinking and talking, the language we use (or think in) influences us significantly and can either keep us stuck or be a tool to help us live by design.
As we start out the new year we’re exploring three important mindset shifts that will help us to make it count in 2024 and beyond.
Mindset shift # 3 is letting go of worry, releasing the desire to control, and getting excited instead!*Tune in to find out more.
*Sometimes getting excited isn’t what is called for.
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Your mindset matters, it can set the tone of your day and the energy that you bring to life. It is all too easy to settle into negative patterns of thinking and talking, the language you use (or think in) influences you significantly. It can either keep you stuck in default or be a tool to help you live by design.
As we start out the new year we’re exploring three important mindset shifts that will help us to make it count in 2024 and beyond.
Mindset shift #2 is from "If only…" to "Next time…"
Tune in to find out more. You really don’t have to, but if you want to, you get to!
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Our mindset matters, it can set the tone of our days and the energy that we bring to life. It is all too easy to settle into negative patterns of thinking and talking, the language we use (or think in) influences us significantly and can either keep us stuck or be a tool to help us live by design.
As we start out the new year we’re exploring three important mindset shifts that will help us to make it count in 2024 and beyond.
Mindset shift # 1 is from “Have to…” to “Get to…”
Tune in to find out more. You really don’t have to, but if you want to, you get to!
Matt first came across this concept from Jon Gordon a few years ago, check out his 2 minute video.
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New Year!
Fresh starts, new resolutions, the days getting longer!
Cold nights, old habits reappearing, the dark days of winter lingering long beyond their welcome...
New year can be a time we look forward to with hope and anticipation of what may come, or a time we dread with a sense of foreboding, as we look back on a hard year and wonder will next year really be any better?
Life can often feel like an unending treadmill, we’re constantly running from one thing to the next... perhaps we've lost the art of marking the seasons. the natural endings and beginnings which give rhythm and invite us to pause.
This week we’re looking at why endings and beginnings can be hard, how we can recapture the connection between them, and navigating the new year together.
For those wanting to dive deeper here's a flashback to episode 17.
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This episode was inspired by a quote from Arthur Schopenhauer (a philosopher and author):
*“You may accumulate a vast amount of knowledge but it will be of far less value to you than a much smaller amount if you have not thought it over for yourself; because only through ordering what you know by comparing every truth with every other truth can you take complete possession of your knowledge and get it into your power."
Source: Essays and Aphorisms
We also mentioned Episode 105, check it out here*. Check out the 3 Month Momentum Planner.
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It’s not only Jedi that can use the force... Every object exerts a “habit force field” that tells us what to do with it. This week we’re unpacking how the objects around us influence our actions and asking: "Are we powerless or can we make our environment work for us?
This episode is based on a fascinating article that David read (no surprises there), sent to Matt who took a long time getting round to reading it (also no surprises there)!
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We live in a world where we are constantly pushed towards rush, hurry and distraction. We're all familiar with the unconscious reaction to pull out our phone whenever we're faced with any delay or a moment's pause. We tend to fill any empty space.
What does this have to do with waiting? There is joy to be found in the anticipation of what we're waiting for, but when we distract ourselves through the waiting we can cheat ourselves of that joy. Robbing ourselves of the build up.
David poses the question: How much of your time do you spend thinking about the past, the present and the future? Are we missing out on the present by always reaching ahead to get to the future we're dreaming of?
(Ironic TLDR: Embracing the waiting can enrich our lives as we enjoy the build up and anticipation of things we're looking for. )
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Today we're discussing Andy Crouch’s book 'The Life We're Looking For' looking at what it looks like to reclaim relationship in a technological world.
This book is so deep and rich, it cuts to the heart of some of the trends which were centuries in the making that have made our modern world what it is.
With every revolution and technological advancement there are always huge benefits promised (and often realised): "Now you'll be able to do..." and "You'll no longer have to do..." but there also come unspoken costs: "Now you'll no longer be able to do..." and "Now you'll have to do..."
Jump in as we discuss everything from loneliness in a personalized world, to modern magic and the pursuit of super powers.
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Today we're talking about the power of an attitude of gratitude!
Check out the article mentioned here
Here's three gratitude practices and some questions Matt found relating to gratitude:
- List five small ways that you can share your gratitude today.
- Write a letter to someone who has positively impacted your life, however big or small.
- Write about a person in your life that you’re especially grateful for and why.
- When was the last time you laughed uncontrollably? Relive the memory.
- What skills or abilities are you thankful to have?
- What is there about a challenge you’re experiencing right now that you can be thankful for?
- How is where you are in life today different than a year ago–and what positive changes are you thankful for?
- What activities and hobbies would you miss if you were unable to do them?
- What about the place you live in are you grateful for?
- What are you taking for granted about your day to day that you can be thankful for?
- What items are you most grateful for?
- Who has done something this week to help you or make your life easier and how can you thank them?
- What foods or meals are you most thankful for?
- What in nature are you grateful for and why?
- What part of your morning routine are you most thankful for?
- What is something you’re grateful to have learned this week?
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This week we're facing head on a difficult topic. Confrontation.
It seems that what we're seeing now is a growing tendency of people avoiding confrontation. Both in the workplace and in personal relationships.
We've all heard of the term 'ghosting' perhaps you've been ghosted, maybe you've ghosted someone yourself. This week we're looking at the cost of avoiding confrontation, the cost of aggravating confrontation and looking at a third alternative.
How can we enjoy the benefits of engaging in healthy confrontation?
David dips into the wisdom of Steven Covey and a couple of the habits of highly effective people in helping us see ways we can engage in healthy confrontation.
Check out the Simon Sinek video here.
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What is failure? What could it look like to make it count towards something?
This week we're discussing failing, falling, taking responsibility and refusing to give up.
Simon Sinek: Choose Falling over failing
Poem: The Race by Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg
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What does it look like to make a holiday count?
It depends on what you want and need from the holiday (Gotta start with "Why?")
This week we’re talking holidays whilst taking a holiday! (Quite literally recorded on a windy balcony in Spain. Matt did his best to clean up the audio!)
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Humans have been telling stories for as long as history can remember. Steve Jobs said that "The storyteller is the most powerful person."
This week we’re looking at why we find stories so compelling, and asking what is the power of a story? What makes the story teller so powerful?
A story shapes the way we see the world, it changes our experience of reality. Perhaps the saying should go: “Story-ing is believing”
We also reflect on the stories that we’re being told today, who's stories are we consuming and believing? And what stories do we tell ourselves?
Here's the 1997 Apple advertisement David mentioned: Link
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This week we're discussing technology, A.I. and considering how the Luddites are perhaps more relevant today than ever before.
Weren't the Luddites against technology and progress? So what could we learn from them in today’s technological world?
Well... actually a lot! According to Brian Merchant. In his new book, Blood in the Machine, they weren’t against technological advancement, but were against the way it was being used to undermine the skilled workers, depress their wages and churn out high volumes of low quality goods. Which ultimately benefits only those at the very top and widens the gap.
They believed it was possible that technology could help skilled workers, not displace them with the impersonal, mass produced, low quality, and cheap.
Check out the Time article here.
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Giving praise can be a powerful motivator, but there are some pitfalls to look out for. Not only does generic, surface level praise fail to motivate, but today we're talking about a key idea from some training David recently took.
Some research has shown that if you praise someone for something they find easy, they won't respect you. Instead they'll think you have really low standards.
So how can we avoid this pitfall?
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On the back of episode 106 where we spoke about the 25:5 rule (famously attributed to Warren Buffet) today we're talking about a something called the Buffet formula: Go to bed a little smarter each day.
In a nutshell: Learn something today.
How can we do that? What does that look like? What are different ways that we can learn and get smarter?
Here's the article that inspired this episode.
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**This week we look back on the journey so far, what has changed for us and what has surprised us.
We also look ahead to what is to come and discuss the future of the Make It count podcast...
Check out the 7 Habits Series on this Spotify Playlist**
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Today is all about focusing on what really matters, how 'less is more' and 'the good is the enemy of the great.' (Make It Count - Episode 8)
Warren Buffet has been famously attributed with the "25/5 Rule":
- Write down a list of your top 25 goals.
- List them in order of priority. The top five are your most important goals.
- Cross off the other 20 goals and designate these as 'Things to avoid at all cost.'
Whether or not Buffet actually came up with it or uses it you can see how powerful it is to reflect on what is truly most important to you. This week we're talking about what this looks like in practice to make it count this year.
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Imagine you've only got 3 months to live, but you can't quit your job or school, how would you live those next 3 months?
This is an exercise Steven Covey used to do with his students, he would give some time to write down the how they would live in this scenario, and then challenged them to live according to that for one week. The results were remarkable!
This week we're discussing this powerful experiment and looking at the importance of making a plan. A 3 month plan.
Check out the 3 Month Momentum Planner.
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This week we're answering a couple listener questions:
- How do you decide what counts?
- Has that changed since you started the podcast?
David talks about listening to your head, heart and gut (Matt thinks it's very important to follow your stomach!), and the top 25 things he wants to do this year...
We also discuss Steven Covey's Habit #2, begin with the end in mind, and close out reflecting on the impact of life stage on what counts for us right now.
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There are times we've wronged another person. We've made an emotional withdrawal. We can improve the relationship by genuinely apologising. Not easy, but simple.
Post HERE.
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It's all about THIS blog post in our summer series. Are you making emotional deposits or withdrawals? Most of us think we live with personal integrity. But when we meet someone who demonstrates this it stands out. Can both be true?
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In our summer series we're looking at THIS blog post that explores how we can improve our relationships and build trust. This episode is about the importance of clarifying expectations.
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We're talking about THIS blog post.
We all know that keeping commitments builds trust and therefore relationships, but are we still too careless with how and when we make those commitments?
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We're talking about THIS blog post.
Sometimes the little things aren't so little. How can we do this well?
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We're talking about THIS blog post.
What happens to trust and relationship when we do this well? What happens when we don't?
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We talk about this recent (ish) film. Was it good? Did we like it? What do we think the themes and message of the films are? One thing is clear, they're is lots of swimming in this!
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It's easy to think knowledge is all the things we can talk about, share and explain. We talk about this idea:
"If you know something and don't do it, you don't know it."Wrestling with what is true about it, what it might be missing and wonder if it's helpful, convicting, both or neither.
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Listener Question: "How do you make yourself comfortable in the body you live in, how do you keep fit without overdoing it, how do you make the most of the "tool" that you were given to move around in this world?"We talk self-image, ideal self and real self. Volume, intensity and frequency. And blame the media we consume (again).
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"In some areas of life, value is unlocked by starting. Even a five-minute workout or a short walk can reset your mood and benefit your body.
In other areas, value is unlocked by finishing. It does you no good to build a bridge halfway across the river. You need to complete the project to realise the value.
Do you need to start or finish? Are you building a body or building a bridge?"We talk about this! What do you think?
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We talk about the book 'Humour, Seriously' highlighting what we thought was most interesting and thinking about how we can add more levity and humour into our lives.
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Seems like our world is so angry. What drives so many of us to anger? We talk about what's underneath anger, books that have helped us, stories of anger in us and around us.
These are two articles referenced: Link 1, Link 2.
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Is grief too unpleasant and uncomfortable? We talk as explorers not experts, trying to figure out if we're too insulated from grief and sorrow.
Here are a couple of links for further reading: Link 1, Link 2.
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It seems like apologising is hard. But after our recent conversations on trust, it follows that when we breech trust we need to apologise. This is tough. We talk about the apology languages.
Read more HERE and find our your language with this QUIZ.
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Self-control is hard, I struggle with it, Matt occasionally struggles with it, and there's an outside chance that you struggle with it as well. It's easier to control other people anyway. We talk in a rambly conversation about controlling others, why, what that looks like, and we quote Dr Henry Cloud and John Powell quite a bit.
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What is a hobby anyway? We talk about why it can be something that brings anxiety. What makes hobbies good? And try to give some freedom for you to start a hobby yourself!
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All of us have moments of insight and realisation. But it's much harder to take those and put them into action. We learn something, but doing something with that is much harder.
We talk about why that might be, what insights are, and how to put them into action?
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It seems that boredom is actually painful. Most of us end up avoiding it. But there is a cost to that. If we can get through the pain of boredom then there are benefits.
Here's the podcast episode Matt talked about.
Veritasium video Here. And this is the TED talk.
How are you with boredom?
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Lots of inventions in the last few decades have been designed to save us time. But what have we done with all that 'saved time'? Was there a hidden cost that we didn't realise we were paying.
Link to article Matt talked about - HERE
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Many of us feel distracted by the world around us. It can be other people interrupting us. It could be our phones notifying us. Nir Eyal has written a book to help us. But it requires we put some work in. Matt recently read this book, and we 'interview' the book, finding key takeaways and insights and sharing them with you.
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Most of us are risk averse. A lot of advice is about taking more risks. We have a non-conclusive conversation about risk, whether we should, why we might, and why we often don't.
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It's difficult to take responsibility and ownership. It's easy to make excuses. To give reasons. But what happens when we take responsibility? Is there are a cost to our excuses?
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We talk about the days getting longer, the relationship between light and energy, nature and ourselves, and what if anything it means for how we live our lives.
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Last week we talked about why trust is important and what three elements make up trust (according to Joseph Flolkman in his book "The Trifecta of Trust". This week we get into the practicality of how to build trust.
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We talk about trust a lot, but often it's something intangible. We think we know when we have it, and definitely know when it's not present. Joseph Folkman discovered that trust is anything but intangible and is even more important than most of us think. This episode we talk about his book and the ideas he puts forward.
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Recently I (David) moved house and I (Matt) helped. We took some time to think about that process, what helped us make it count, and what does it look like to be intentional with the process of moving house.
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This conversation was in some part based upon, and some part just inspiring a few ideas, on the book "Your Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kelk. We talk about how are body is wise in it's own way. How we're not just 'Brains on legs' and what that means for how we should show up in our lives.
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We've been journaling since 2018 and finished our five year journals at the end of 2022. We've been reflecting on what that has done for us, what we've learned, and what we'll do differently moving forward.
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There are lots of things we hope and anticipate, especially when a new year rolls around. Is that good for us? We chat about what that does for us, and a few things we're looking forward to this year!
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We hear a lot about being kind and being nice. What's the difference (if there is one) and why does it matter (if it does)?
Link to video
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Walking is good for us, apparently. But winter can make it tough to get outside. It can be cold, wet, windy and dark. We talk about how to make it count on those winter walks.
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We all have a voice in our heads, is it your inner-coach or inner-critic? Ethan has written this book to help us navigate our inner worlds. We talk about it, draw our what we enjoyed and some of his evidenced based tips.
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There are hundreds of articles all about saying no, so it must be important, here's our take on it, and how it connects to making it count.
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It's never a bad time to write a letter to yourself. We talk about why? When and how we use this little practice and and why you might find it useful as well.
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We have many opportunities to start afresh. But sometimes we get held back by certain things, here we talk about things that could help us take advantage of these opportunities and step over the obstacles that hold us back.
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We talk about the following newsletter I received in March 2022.
"*Typically it isn’t until after the “crisis has passed” that your brain finally starts to make sense of what took place. You might not even realize your brain is doing this — but I can assure you, it is.
It’s asking:
Why did this happen?
Why did it happen to me?
What does it all mean?
And it won’t stop until it finds what it feels are suitable answers to these questions (noting for clarity that there may be no suitable answers to these things)."
-*Allison Fallon
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Christmas brings up a lot of emotions, positive and negative, lots of pressures. Today we talk about Christmas stories, gives and generosity.
Let us know what your favourite parts of Christmas are?
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Intro song - Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay
Outro song - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Charles Grayis licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License (http://bit.ly/CreativeCommons3-0) https://soundcloud.com/dccharles Music promoted by Royalty Free Music Library: https://youtu.be/zfi7pCML0pk
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It's not easy making changes to our lives. In todays episode we talk about James Clears bestseller 'Atomic Habits', and some of the things we learned from reading it.
Have you read it? What did you learn?
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If so many of our goals fail and fail quickly why set goals at all, surely it leads to discouragement and disillusionment? Yet apparently more goal-directed people tend to be happier?
What goals are you working on?
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Episode #7 of our Steven Covery series. It's easy to run ourselves down, so we need to create time to renew ourselves. Or so Covey says.
What do you do to sharpen your saw?
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There are so many people out there who we could be learning from, we've picked two people each that so far this year (2022) we've been learning from.
Who are you learning from?
Let us know
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We all have to eat, but we don't all cook. What does purposeful cooking look like? Why should we care? What does what we cook say about our culture?
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So much hurry, so much tiredness, so much need for rest and sleep. We discuss different types of rest, what purpose rest serves and how to get started.
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Apparently sharing meals together is really good for our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. We talk about why, what we can do, and what some of the barriers to that are.
The Video we talk about in the episode. Bonus one we don't talk about.
Motivation and inspiration can feel like an intagible quality that 'born leaders' have. But what if there was a universal way for you and me to inspire and motivate anyone. And that it has been shown to work with everyone regardless of age, gender and experience? We discuss this idea in todays episode.
Link to the Video
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Some of us have been a part of teams where the whole was greater than the sum of it's parts. Too often the reality is that we're part of teams that are less than the sum of the parts. This is painful. This conversation is about Steven Covey's Habit 6, Synergising. How we can be parts of teams greater than the sum of the parts.
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Recently David got married. In this episode we talk about some of the things he did to help make it count.
How do you make a wedding count?
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John Mark Comer wrote a book called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. We 'interview' the book, talk about why we think this is an important book for our time, and discuss some steps we can take to counter the hurried, frenetic pace of life.
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We're celebrating one year of podcasting! We've learned a bunch, you've heard some of the journey, but probably not all of it! Come along as we talk about our long runway, what we enjoy, and some of the progress we think we've made so far!
Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
006 - Chasing the day
014 - What is success?
023 - Course correcting Matt
025 - Freedom Writers
046 - Think long term act short term
Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
What is your favourite episode so far?
David recaps his top five episodes, briefly summarises them, and highlights some of the episodes worth revisiting.
5 - Man of meaning - HERE
24 - Raging against the fitness machine - HERE
26 - Experience vs Relationship - HERE
37 - Hello Future self - HERE
You get to find the Covey series yourself, until I make the playlist.
Seek first to understand then be understood. Most of us go around shouting our autobiography onto everything, but that can have a cost. Often increased tension. Here's what Steven Covey had to say in his book '7 Habits of Highly Effective People', and our summary version of Habit five.
What questions do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Everyone used to eat meal times together. Through many cultures, and throughout history. But now fewer families seem to be eating together, we think it's important, so does a lot of research. Here's our ten minute, summer short: 1 story, 2 quotes and 3 tips for eating together.
"Eating together, breaking bread together, is one of the oldest and most fundamentally unifying of human experiences." — Barbara Coloroso “Nothing- not a conversation, not a handshake or even a hug- establishes friendship so forcefully as eating together.” - Jonathan Safran Foer
It's easy to get busy not reading and to discount the benefits of reading. After all reading is a lot more difficult than many other leisure activities (see: TV, YouTube and Social Media), but reading has the potential to change anything and everything for you.
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
It's easy to discount the benefits of sleep. Spending time in a semi-coma totally unconscious doesn't seem like a good use of our time, but what if our beauty and best ideas depend on it? Are there very tangible costs to not sleeping well?
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
1 story, 2 quotes, and 3 tips, in this ten minute summer short as we wax lyrical on making it count with journaling.
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
1 story, 2 quotes and 3 tips on making it count with exercise in this ten minute short to keep us motivated through the summer.
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
It's easy to find yourself eating far too many mini-eggs and wondering, why did I just do what was right in front of me? What if living life is the same as steering a ship? Are we living in such a way that we're going to find our lives in a dead-end?
Listen along as we discuss the power of imagination on the way to living long-term.
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
We live in a competitive world. Everyone says there are winners and losers. Is Win-win even realistic option. We get there eventually in this episode (aprox 18 minutes in), but first, Emotional Bank Accounts, what are they and why are they important?
Lots of us are very free with our advice. We give it out and rarely think about the consequences of it. The COACH Model by Keith E. Webb teaches another way to lead, and have more successful conversations.
What questions and comments do you have?
Get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Looking around the world can often leave us feeling anything but joy. When we're going somewhere purposefully it can feel in oposition to joy. So does joy matter on the journey? We share a few stories and see what some research has to say on joy.
Get in touch: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
To move from uncertainty to clarity in coaching conversations with me: connect@allbetweentheears.com
The world is complex and full of information. The complexity and the questions that hang over so much of that information leave us feeling highly uncertain. Which leads to stuck. Which basically sucks.
Want to move forwards with clarity?
Book a discovery session with me (David) HERE
Want to see a short coaching session? Check is out HERE
Ask a question or make a request at the email:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
In this conversation we talk about desire, discipline and delight and how that can describe stages of achieving something, or is it building blocks or was it steps?
Are we more attracted by the immediate buzz of starting something or the long term delight that comes with mastery?
What questions do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
It's easy to find yourself drowning in busywork. Steven Covey's Habit 3 is all about being more effective (not efficient). We talk about all the big ideas that come up in chapter three, and sprinkle in a few of our own along the way.
Video Matt referenced
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Most of us desire clarity, because when we don't have it we get stuck. So what is the habit that we find most brings clarity?
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Life in the last 100 years has got more comfortable and more convenient, is there a cost to this?
What questions and comments do you have?
Get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Is your future self a superhero? Or perhaps you never even think about your future self?
What questions and comments do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Life Guide Assessment Tool - LINK
In a world where everyone promises quick and easy answers, where everyone feels the pressure to be an expert. Especially if you're a leader. What would it look like to live questions first?
We interview the book Curious by Tom Hughes.
What questions do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
This is our second episode in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people series. All about beginning with the end in mind. The importance of imagination, things being created twice and so much more.
Let us know what you questions you have at
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Free Guy is a Ryan Reynolds film that came out recently, we enjoyed it, but what is it portraying about life and freedom, and how might that affect us being able to make it count?
What questions do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Everyone is shouting and no-one is listening. Well that's how some people have described our world. What do you think? And if the world is so noisy, what can we do about it?
What questions do you have?
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Most of us want to be effective, for good things. Steven Covey in his, now classic, book talks about seven habits of highly effective people. In this episode we discuss the first habit, being proactive, and what that might mean in our day to day lives.
Habits for Life course - LINK
Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Money is a part of life. We've both found that #ynab are brilliant at helping us make it count with our finances. So we explore how their four simple rules help us make it count, and how they can be used as principles for making our lives count. Especially when it comes to our calandars.
The four rule of YNAB - LINK
Want to give it a go? HERE is my referral link, because I'm such a fan.
Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Weddings in the UK cost aproximately £26,000. That's a lot, and in this episode we wonder about whether we've missed the point altogether.
Please get in touch here: makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
We remembered afterwards, it's the Amish! We talk about living offline, the insights from the two articles below and sadly we just lost the last minute due to running out of battery.
ARTICLE 1
ARTICLE 2
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
We live in an age of overwhelming uncertainty. These things, many often out of our control, can really derail us and stop us from making it count. We lean on the wisdom of C.S. Lewis to plot our way through this time.
This Blog post talking about uncertainty is what Matt mentioned early in this conversation as well.
Check out Ep.13 which we referenced in this conversation HERE
We'd love to hear some of your reflections from your year so please send them here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Ever feel like you can't get the important thing done? Found yourself pairing socks instead of completing an assignment. Then this episode is for you. Don't put it in your listen to later playlist, instead get to it now.
Referenced this must watch TED Talk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
So many of us are chasing are great experience, whether it's climbing a mountain or eating a delightful meal, but how do the relationships we have affect the experiences we desire.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Freedom writers is a film that has inspired both of us. We talk about how the story challenges us to make it count, as we realise that true stories told in film can re-motivate us.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
We're raging. Talking about the Vox article and PewDiePies video highlighting an open-secret that no-one talks about. Perhaps our superheroes aren't so super. In our image focused world, careful what you let yourself see.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
The Vox article: HERE
PewDiePie video: HERE
We harken back to the early days of the podcast and find out whether Warren Buffets advice actually helped Matt. We discuss, learning, strategy and course correction.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Every time we make a decision (or don't) there is a cost. Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it isn't. The world can be overwhelming, we can be stuck with too many choices. Here we discuss a possible solution for this.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Sleep often feels like a passive activity designed to waste hours of our time. Is it true? Or are there real benefits to improving our sleep?
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Do we let our experiences turn only into good stories without mining them for everything we can learn as well? In this episode we ask the powerful question "What crystalises your learning?"
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
What if our lives didn't just pivot on the big moments, but could instead turn on just five minutes of your life? Conversation about identity, change and time.
We want to know what you think, so please get in touch here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
Expecatations can be quite divisive. Many experience them as negative and a burden, some see them as positive and something to live up to. What do you think?
Most of us are detached from the seasons. We can eat what we want, when we want, we have electricity so the dark does not impact us nearly as much. Do the seasons still matter? Can they teach us anything about life?
This is the song that we couldn't figure out the name of. Some love it. Some hate it.
4'33" by John Cage
A new year is just around the corner, we're figuring out how to start right, and if we should even set goals, new years resolutions and targets, or are too many things out of our control to make it worth it?
We have a conversation that starts in January and a word for the year, through how we intend to reflect on 2021 and why.
We'd love to hear some of your reflections from your year so please send them here:
makeitcount.pod@gmail.com
You can download the life guide assessment here:
https://allbetweentheears.com/life-guide-assessment-tool/
We reversed our roles and this time Matt was interviewing a book David has read. Rob Parsons book "The heart of success" is an insightful book in to the way we live and what success actually is.
We're interviewing another book. This time Matt is talking to us about a book that is changing his life and his way of thinking. We know life can have an overwhelming amount of choice, Design your life, is a book that helps bring some contraints and a lot of freedom to how we view our own lives. Check out this episode and let us know what you think of the book.
Sometimes giving can feel complicted, overwhelming, and like we're going to get it all wrong. This conversation centres on how we can 'attempt' to be thoughtfully generous this Christmas.
Consistency may be the secret ingedrient to making it count over your lifetime. Here we discuss why we think that is, how your consistency can impact your relationships with other people and some tips on becoming a master of consistency.
We often celebrate the big things like Birthdays, Christmas and Weddings, but how often do we stop to actually celebrate the things we accomplish?
We all have tired days. Days where everything feels a little more difficult. Can you still make it count on those days? Here we discuss what we've trialed. What we found works and what doesn't.
There are so many things we all want to learn, experience and discover. Can we do it all? Or do we sometimes find ourselves suffocating the great with too many good things?
How many things do you want to start? The cost of starting, and the power of saying 'not now'. What do you think?
Ever wake up with a start? Most of us know that feeling. It can lead to a day of feeling quite flustered, a little behind and like you're chasing the day. In today's conversation we discuss what we've done in the past, what we find helps, and give a few tips you can try.
A slightly different type of episode today as we look at someone who we think made it count with the way they lived. One mans search for meaning could give many of us a few hints as we go on our own journey to making it count. Here's our brief take on Viktor Frankl.
It's easy live in a way where we just react to everything going on around us. Here we discuss ways to be intentional. We ask if we should keep adding good things, or start taking things away. Join us as we start discuss making it count through the lense of being intentional.
We have seen a lot of people who are worried about wasting their lives, and drifting away from the things that are important. And you can let us know if we pushed a small anecdote of a story a little too far.
Sometimes the really big dreams and hopes we have can become intimidating leaving us paralysed and stuck. We explore how taking just the 'next step' can really move us forward. We discuss perfection, frustrating, hopes and community.
Making It Count can feel like a lot of pressure. In our first full conversation we discuss pressure, death, starting and hearing some stories of how we've made it count over the years.
It's easy to find yourself adrift from where you want to be. We (David and Matt) want to have conversations that get us back on track, so that we can Make It Count. Listen to this first to find out a bit about who we are, what we plan to talk about, and where we think we're going. Then you can decide if you're going to join us on our journey, or choose to pass up the opportunity.